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Author
Thread: Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
123 (
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)
Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted:
3/19/2009 4:23:16 AM
what did you mean by "U R a character!"?
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
121 (
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)
Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted:
3/19/2009 4:11:04 AM
^^^^ That sounds like me, being a guy who has never had sex (seriously!) I'm sometimes told in chat rooms that I'm "missing out" - well yes I guess I am but since I don't know what I'm missing it doesn't affect me. Yes of course I do wish that I'd gone down the route of having relationships in my younger days but my first girlfriend at the age of 13 was enough to put me off for life...
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
414 (
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted:
1/27/2009 12:39:33 AM
Of course some men (like me) could be single and never married for a good reason. There's a phobia which goes by the name of "genophobia" which is a fear of sexual contact - I'm more than happy to have female friends but anything more than that is a complete "no go" so at almost 45 years old I'm still single and always will be. I don't consider it as a "badge of honour" but there are going to be some guys who do.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
281 (
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Could you say NO to sex
Posted:
3/22/2007 10:58:17 AM
I've posted in this forum before and said that I have indeed said no to sex, in fact I've never said yes. I recently found out why.
Genophobia. A fear of sexual contact with anyone. I wonder how many people would admit to that fear. Nice to know that there's a reason why some of us say NO.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
152 (
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single and forty....
Posted:
11/19/2006 3:51:19 AM
Single and forty isn't so bad. I suppose I'm used to it because I've only had one girlfriend and that was back when I was 12/13 years old. I don't think I could be persuaded to have a relationship so getting MARRIED is out.
People I've spoken to think that is a strange thing to say but "whatever floats yer boat".
You do what you feel comfortable with!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
1114 (
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Why are you single?
Posted:
10/24/2006 3:03:48 AM
Im single because I'm fat, bald, ugly, poor, ignorant, and beyond help. lol
Same here!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
261 (
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Are there any men out there who isn't just looking for sex?
Posted:
10/24/2006 2:57:55 AM
And face, who here doesn't like sex?
Err, that would be ME then!
Ok so thats not STRICTLY true. I've not had sex so I can't say that I don't like it, only that I don't like the thought of it. If that makes sense.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
612 (
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Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles?
Posted:
7/28/2006 11:16:07 PM
I get mails from women all the time who haven't read my profile, or choose to ignore the part where I said I'm only looking for friends. I think blissful ignorance is a 2-way street!!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
69 (
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choosing to be celibate...
Posted:
7/21/2006 11:20:53 PM
A life without sex ain't bad. I've handled it ok (Oooo excuse the pun there!)
42 years and counting so far! Yep I'm serious!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
188 (
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted:
7/4/2006 6:38:14 AM
I'll put my hands up to being one of the guys you all avoid because YES - I do still live at home - WHY? - because its a hell of a lot cheaper than living somewhere else (especially when you're recently out of work) and I'm not worried about how that "looks" or "seems" to anyone else - the fact is I'm not in debt to anyone, I don't have a credit card, what I buy - I pay for. I'm not scratching around to make ends meet each month like a lot of people are so I'd say that makes me better off than a lot of people - financially even if not emotionally.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
1029 (
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Why are you single?
Posted:
7/4/2006 6:32:41 AM
I am single because:
1) I fart
2) I burp
3) I'm too fat
4) I'm too ugly
5) I'm scared of women
6) I'm scared of sex
7) DO YOU NEED ANY MORE REASONS??
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
1020 (
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Why are you single?
Posted:
6/29/2006 2:35:45 AM
Well.. I am in the divorcing process (yes... I know... married too young... blah blah blah)... Let me tell you. A bad marriage is an easy way to open your eyes to yourself and what you want in a relationship. But at this point I'm not really looking for anything. Just having fun until something worth it comes along. In the meantime, I'm not wasting my time with anyone not worth my precious moments
Wow! I have this sudden urge to move to New Jersey. I can't quite figure out why though!
Must be this thing I have about redheads!!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
68 (
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How do you tell her your a 28 year old virgin?
Posted:
6/27/2006 2:00:24 AM
Agreed, however most guys who say they are virgins are telling the truth. That's funny because that actually happened to me. a girl i use to be friends with found out i was a virgin she felt so sorry for me (In my case I was telling the truth) she offered to "help me out" lol nothing turns me off more then pity I don't need that shit I have more self respect then that. I declined her offer. she then accused me of being gay once I witnessed her true colours I no longer cared what she thought of me. We were no longer friends after that.
Yes I know what you mean. Can you explain something though, I've had the same sort of thing said to me....but I can't work out how a virgin can be gay because he doesn't want to have sex with a girl (for reasons only he knows), surely if he was gay then he'd be down at the local gay bar picking up guys! Men are often accused of being sex mad but try saying no to a girl and we're suddenly GAY.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
66 (
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How do you tell her your a 28 year old virgin?
Posted:
6/26/2006 2:50:58 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^ Well from what I've had said to me, apparantly SOME guys use the "I'm a virgin" line to get sympathy and hopefully a sympathetic girl to have sex with him!
No wonder lesbianism is on the increase!!! If guys are prepared to LIE just to get laid then we deserve to all be virgins!
Personally, I'm not using that as a line to get laid, and I can prove that by the amount of times that I've said NO THANKS over the past 20+ years.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
138 (
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How many partners
Posted:
6/20/2006 4:31:25 AM
I'm still very happy at 0 (yes ZERO) and keeping it that low!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
910 (
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Why are you single?
Posted:
6/16/2006 11:28:15 PM
^^^^^^ Actually I don't know if we are ALL on this site to find someone. I'm not and I've spoken to people from here who aren't looking for someone in their life, they just want a friend to talk to.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
51 (
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Still a virgin or are you scared?
Posted:
6/11/2006 11:17:08 AM
^^^^^^^^^ What about the guys in the same position? Ok it would be a small club but I'd join!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
48 (
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Still a virgin or are you scared?
Posted:
6/11/2006 5:54:02 AM
^^^^^^ I agree with that one.
You can become too scared. Trust me, I know!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
32 (
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What makes men want to be sexual with a women?
Posted:
6/9/2006 4:38:51 AM
Not all guys want to be sexual with a woman.
I'd be happy to just have a female friend. I don't need viagra, I'm not interested in spreading my genes around.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
151 (
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted:
6/6/2006 12:28:43 PM
^^^^^^^ Ok that's fair enough. Just as well I'm not out there trying to find a woman then. Personally, my family come first and always have done. If that means I don't stand a chance with women then so be it. I would rather leave this world knowing I'd done some good and been there for my parents (or in my case, my mother) when she needed someone around than leave an elderly mother to deal with things that she wasn't prepared for. I think its hard for some parents, my mother would have been left to handle financial stuff that she knew nothing about (thanks to my father being "old school" and not showing her how to pay bills or deal with bank accounts) and I stepped in and took over. Yeah its hard on me but how selfish would I be if I thought only of myself? They had hard times when I was a child but they didn't think "hell this is hard, lets put him up for adoption!".
Ok I'll get off my soapbox now.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
148 (
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted:
6/6/2006 4:38:52 AM
What about guys over 40 who still live at home??
Some people think that is very weird but surely if nothing else it shows a commitment.
If a guy 40+ is prepared to live with parent(s) who will likely be elderly and need some
help with things then that shows that the guy isn't going to up and leave if things get
difficult in any future relationship. (In my opinion)
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
33 (
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Still a virgin or are you scared?
Posted:
6/3/2006 2:20:16 AM
I am ...23 and am still a virgin.I don't have a boyfriend,because am already scared how am gona tell him this.I had many options to go out,but i rejected all of them I am just scared,and another thing am religious,so its also the main reason,i want to have sex after marrige,but am not sure if any man would like to wait
You'd be surprised!!! I'm 42 and still waiting!!!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
893 (
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Why are you single?
Posted:
5/31/2006 5:00:34 AM
^^^^^^^^ I will agree with that totally!!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
134 (
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted:
5/29/2006 2:28:15 AM
^^^^^^^^^ I hate it even more when they say "you're 42 and you've not been laid? ARE YOU GAY?" - mmmmm yes of course gays don't have sex do they?
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
64 (
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How do you tell her your a 28 year old virgin?
Posted:
5/25/2006 1:53:43 PM
Hmmmmm I think you have me confused with the OP.
I don't have a woman to tell that I'm a virgin and not likely to have either.
I was just making a point that not all guys who say they are virgins are lying!
I don't suppose anything, if there were health professionals out there reading these posts I'm sure they'd be scratching their heads in confusion over some of the things I say.
"Psychiatric nurse"?? What!!! I'm mental now am I? (Just joking - I know what you meant!)
I think I probably have both "self-esteem" and "anxiety" issues. If anyone in a chat room asks me what I look like I give a description that would be a cross between Quasimodo and King Kong. I don't want anyone to be interested in what I look like. That doesn't matter as far as I'm concerned because I'm not going to meet anyone.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
224 (
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Could you say NO to sex
Posted:
5/24/2006 3:10:02 AM
^^^^^ Yes, what is it with people that when you tell them that you don't want sex (or in my case, I'm also a virgin) that they ASSUME you must be gay?
I mean surely the fact that I'm a virgin should tell them that I'm not gay. To be GAY you have to want a sexual relationship.....with someone the same gender. I don't want a sexual relationship with anyone of EITHER gender. So how does that make me gay??
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
62 (
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How do you tell her your a 28 year old virgin?
Posted:
5/24/2006 3:02:21 AM
^^^^^^^ I don't deny that it's unusual. Even RARE. I also agree that some people say they are virgins to get some form of perverse pleasure out of it. Although what pleasure can be gained from saying that is beyond me. From my own discussions online I think you'd be hard to find guys over 18 who are still virgins. (At least in the UK)
Ok so now that we are in agreement let me explain my reason briefly.
For some unexplainable reason I am too nervous of sex. For this reason, I've avoided getting involved with anyone for quite a considerable length of time. In fact, I've not had a girlfriend since I was 13 years old, I've not asked anyone out in all that time and I don't expect that to change in the future. What the reason for my nervousness is, I'm afraid I don't know. I've not discussed it with any medical professional and nor do I intend to. On chat forums such as this I can be somewhat anonymous. I don't see anyone FACE to FACE so therefore I can happily talk about this. In person, however, I would be very much embarrassed to talk about it.
So, as rare as it is for anyone my age to be a virgin (unless you happen to be the pope!), I am one and will more than likely ALWAYS be one. I have found a couple of other guys in different chat forums who are in a similar situation to me so they are out there. But sometimes people dismiss them as FREAKS, something I'm rather used to!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
222 (
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Could you say NO to sex
Posted:
5/24/2006 2:42:47 AM
I have always said NO
Good for you Jessica.
I'm a fellow taurean (sp?) and have always said NO.
A lot of people think that means I've not had the chances
but I have. I differ from you in that I'm not hoping to have
sex and I will probably always say NO.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
60 (
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How do you tell her your a 28 year old virgin?
Posted:
5/20/2006 11:46:45 PM
^^^^^^ Why do you think he's lying? Because of his age?
If so, am I lying too because I'm 42 and still a virgin?
Looking at your reasons I don't fall into any of them.
Not Religious.
Not a moral issue.
I could be a geek but that's not stopped me from having chances.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
109 (
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Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted:
5/20/2006 12:32:10 AM
^^^^^^ I'd rather be missing out on a part of life then!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
98 (
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Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted:
5/18/2006 3:04:44 AM
That is such a good question,and a hard one to answer.Sometimes I am so glad I have had the opportunity to really love someone,and have that love returned...but you dont miss nor crave what you never had!.so sometimes..I wished I never experience a great "love",because I miss it.
Thats my feelings exactly. I don't miss the experience of "Love" because I've never been there. I don't think having a girlfriend when I was 12/13 years old classes as "Love" so I can honestly say that I've not had it so I don't miss it.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
75 (
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Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted:
5/16/2006 12:46:22 PM
and staggy... i know you got a heart...cant hide it...lol...
try changing your pattern thinking...gawd hard thing to do but if i can do it..you can too..go from negative to positive thinking..no matter what...be amazed at the results..an how lifes is much more peaceful.
Damn, my secret is out!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
207 (
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Could you say NO to sex
Posted:
5/15/2006 2:23:16 AM
Picture the scene......beautiful day, gorgeous woman and ME.
"Lets go back to my place" she says with a wink!
My answer?
HELL NO!!! I'm outta here!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
846 (
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Why are you single?
Posted:
5/15/2006 2:20:35 AM
not sure if it is a choice or it is just easier! fear of another person!
YES at last someone else who seems to be thinking the same as me!
It is a hell of a lot easier to live life on your own rather than fight your own fears (if you have them - like I do) and perhaps fail in the process.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
67 (
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Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted:
5/15/2006 2:15:47 AM
Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
^^^ yes...better to love then not loved at all....always remember ..leaving situtations in good terms is much more effiencent for yourself...this way you have no regrets...an every relationship is a learning process for ourselves. live an learn..thats what lifes all bout. i dont regret any situations in my life but have learnt many things from them.... our lives are ours to live...its the choices we make.
staggy....thats so sad..then your not living life to the fullest an happy....you stop yourself from loving others....an opening your heart ...also experiencing new things that comes your way. lonely life at the top...lol
Yes it is a lonely life.....I'll agree with you there. But given the high probability that love won't last and all that's left behind is bitterness and heartache, I'll stick to avoiding it in the first place. I've been hurt once, many years ago when I was still at school and I don't plan on testing the water again.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
49 (
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Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted:
5/14/2006 12:22:27 PM
I'll definately go for "Never Loved", thats how I've survived this far.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
30 (
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Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted:
5/12/2006 11:19:06 PM
OK my partner is a lot younger than me - 20 years. I love her a lot and I know she loves me - more than anyone else has ever down. But at some stage we will need to break up - because of the age difference I will get in the way of her life.
It is going to hurt but better to have loved
Ok this is freaky, I read that on page 1 of this subject and then looked at his profile and it said he is 26, so that makes his partner 6 ???? No wonder he needs to break up the relationship!!!!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
20 (
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Still a virgin or are you scared?
Posted:
5/12/2006 11:09:29 PM
I'm still a virgin at 42, I don't see what the big deal is anyway.
Purely as a personal opinion, there is no shortage of children being
born in this world and I don't see the point in sex if you're not trying
to procreate.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
121 (
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How many partners
Posted:
5/11/2006 11:03:35 PM
That sucks man. Why can't you find someone?
I could find someone if I wanted to. The fact is.....I don't want to.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
199 (
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How many here will have the courage of admitting that they are still a virgin...
Posted:
5/4/2006 11:33:26 PM
Well I am 1 day away from my 42nd birthday and I'm still a virgin. I take notice of a previous post that mentions doing other sexual stuff apart from the obvious. Well I can safely say I've not done ANYTHING remotely sexual. Unless kissing a girl when I was 13yo counts!!!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
51 (
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How do you tell her your a 28 year old virgin?
Posted:
5/4/2006 12:51:14 PM
How is someone still a virgin at 28? You weren’t like locked up in a Vietnamese jail for a decade were you? Wait, if there’s anywhere you can get laid it’s in SE Asia.
Dude, you should beg for forgiveness, that was so wrong
This is the typical reply I've had over the past year or so. Believe me buddy....it's easy to be a virgin at 28.....I'm 2 days from my 42nd birthday and still a virgin. There ain't no secrets to it. You're either ready to make the leap into having sex or you're not. It's as simple as that!!
As for begging for forgiveness, I hope that's a joke! If you SERIOUSLY think he has anything that requires forgiveness then it's you that needs HELP and not him!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
766 (
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I am single because...
Posted:
5/1/2006 1:51:22 AM
Several reasons I guess.
- Anxiety/fear holding me back
- Have a hard time trusting people
- Am in a bit of a mourning process at the present moment making it difficult for me to be able to give much of myself in a positive and healthy way
- Worry and care too much what people think
- Need to be able to not be so afraid of guys and be able to talk to them
- Not good at expressing how I feel and is upsetting
- Criticize myself too much and so end up ruining a lot of enjoyment of things for myself
Okay...this is way too freaky.... You just described ME! (only replace the "guys" comment with ladies..)
Freaky here too......replace the "guys" with "ladies" and it fits me perfectly too!!!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
247 (
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Are there any men out there who isn't just looking for sex?
Posted:
4/29/2006 12:47:12 PM
I've said this before in this thread already but YES there are men who aren't just looking for sex and there's some like me who don't want sex at all. I've yet to find a woman who would accept a relationship without sex.
Thats why I'm sticking to being single and not bothered about women!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
660 (
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Why are you single?
Posted:
4/22/2006 12:11:42 PM
I'm not stupid enough to have anything to do with anyone of the opposite sex and I don't much like the idea of same sex either so..........apart from Animals (errrr no thanks Fido) I'm left with nothing!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
111 (
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How many partners
Posted:
4/10/2006 11:25:09 AM
It wouldn't bother me but then I've not been with anyone and not likely to!
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
500 (
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Why are you single?
Posted:
4/8/2006 2:46:36 AM
Yeah putting walls up is something I know a lot about (no I'm not a builder)
Basically I had one bad experience with a girl at the tender age of 12 and
since then I've totally avoided getting to know any. Not a bad feat when
you consider that I'm almost 42 now. So that's why I'm single and a virgin
and looking forward to staying that way too.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
492 (
view
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Why are you single?
Posted:
4/7/2006 12:24:21 PM
Why?
Because.....
1. I get freaked out about sex
2. I have no experience of women (only had 1 g/f when I was really YOUNG)
3. I'm too bloody old to care now
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
1013 (
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What do you hate most about being single?
Posted:
4/5/2006 11:36:06 AM
What do I hate most about being single?
Simple really, I hate everyone assuming I must be GAY just because
I don't go out at f*ck anything in a skirt.
I'm more than single, I'm a single virgin. So that gets the insults going
because I don't go out at all and i don't have anything to do with women
(or men!) sexually.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
104 (
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are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted:
4/5/2006 11:30:17 AM
I wouldn't say 30.., more like 36 and up.., I mean if they haven't wanted to settle down yet..,
and if no one wants to marry them there is usually a reason, LOL.
However, it could be different if they were at least in a long-term relationship for 3 yrs or more.., but if not, well something wrong, don't ya think??
Mmmmm ok so there's something wrong with me.....at least I will admit it.
Almost 42 now and longest relationship (if you can call it that) was 6 months
at the tender age of 12. Actually that was the ONLY relationship too.
staggy65
Joined:
2/19/2006
Msg:
71 (
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Now that it's spring... and single... are you sad?
Posted:
4/4/2006 12:01:40 PM
Date an old guy. Then sex isn't even in the equation...
Err.......am I missing something?
I am MALE so I'm not going to date a GUY!!!!
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