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 Author Thread: How much do women want to laugh?
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How much do women want to laugh?
Posted: 2/18/2007 1:17:39 AM
I think that it is really relative. I mean, I don't expect Jim Carrey or Carlos Mencia, but if u are reasonably quick witted, or can see humor in everyday events,INCLUDING YOURSELF, u are golden in my books. I can make fun of myself just as easily as anything else.

So I guess a sense of humor is important in the sense that I have dated men who don't really see the humor in life, so I feel no connection. Shyness doesn't matter, as long as u can talk naturally, and laugh freely. As u get more comfortable, u will relax.

God luck.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
what goes around, comes around
Posted: 2/15/2007 12:01:45 AM
I am sorry to say that u just got treated the way a lot of women get treated on here. I mean, that they guy is talking to lots of women, and balancing many until he decides on one or two. At that time, the ones he doesn't want, he blocks, or ignores. I am sorry that She is playing with your emotions like that, even if u aren't involved yet, the fact you guys corresponded with each other, the seed was planted, and she led u to believe she would meet with you when she came back from her trip. Whoever does this, men or women, it is wrong.

Try to treat people the way you want to be treated.

I am sorry it happened to you, it sux.

Not all women on here drool over a hot model pic, and that guy who said he posted a fake profile wouldn't even have got a second look from me, or another real woman looking for a real man. Not that I would have been able to tell it was fake mind u, I mean I actually PREFER a man who is a little heavier, or less attractive because I feel that they have to develop their personality more, and they have more to offer. I tend to look at my matches, and profiles that don't have a picture posted, then ask for one to be sent to me.

Good looking PEOPLE get it easy. Both men and women. They get asked out first, people want to be with them, and they will have a replacement in minutes when they break up with someone. They don't have to be well read, they don't have to listen, they don't have to be great lovers even, cuz they will always get all the sex they want, it doesn't matter if they are good, or even involved in the moment. So I always chose people who aren't as attractive. IMO they have evolved!

The fact is, here online, lots of people are playing games, and it is bad, because it means at some time, almost all of us will get burned. It is hard not to get somewhat invested when u are being honest and trusting that others here are too. Posting an ad here, regardless of what category you are in means u are opening yourself up, taking a chance. It hurts when u discover that other people are playing around. It is disillusioning. Even if u learn about it secondhand, and don't have to experience the game yourself, you can empathize.

Even that guy who put up a fake ad, although I am sure he did it to prove a point, and I believe he did prove his point, the act of placing a fake ad is playing a game, because he knew that wasn't him, and there may have been an honest woman who responded that was hurt when he wasn't real. That is the action I am talking about, hurting others intentionally. I am sure he thought he was doing a service to other men but what he doesn't realize is that each one of us who read the post will now think twice about every ad we answer, because it may be fake. What has our society come to when someone actually brags that they falsified a document in order to prove a point. That must be a hollow victory.

So please, let's try to treat others the way we want to be treated.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Identity Theft Alert
Posted: 2/14/2007 1:06:24 PM
My Mom and Dad were taken by Citibank, charges in New York and Japan (my mom is disabled on Oxygen and has dificulty getting Airlines to allow her to fly, it is a major event to fly with oxygen, so she doen't fly at all, hence she couldn't have been in either NY or Japan, we live in Los Angeles, Ca.)
It turned out to be an Inside job, but it took over a year to clear up.

Good Luck to you.

and as the above poster said, have them pull the ATM cameras where the withdrawls took place.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What do you miss about being in a relationship?
Posted: 2/12/2007 5:59:08 PM
Having a regular Friday nite date.
Someone who I know will go with me to events. Some one to spend the holidays with.
Being able to buy tickets to a concert and KNOW who I am going with.
Long, slow, wet, passionate kisses that last 3 days.
Knowing I will get pampered a little on Valentine's Day, my birthday, and other holidays.
Having someone to shop for.
Someone to daydream about.

Knowing that at the end of the day, someone WANTS to talk to and hang out with me.

and most importantly, sex on a regular basis. I havn't had a boyfriend in 4 years..... this is getting ridiculous!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Inland Empire Singles Mixer (Upland,CA) Feb 16th, 2007
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:43:32 PM
yes that is kinda like what Speed Dating is like, from what I have seen on TV shows.

I am looking forward to it. I just hope that everyone who RSVP'd shows up. That is what I have read is the problem with the other mixers, not alot of people show up, nothing is posted that shows POF, so people leave.


Everybody show up, OK?
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 109 (view)
 
whats up with all of the women?
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:22:57 AM

POOFING usually happens on both ends and from a female perspective it happens when...

1. A man you have emailed seems to have very little to say of any common interest.

2. You find out that he is online a ton but doesnt ever really show any interest in having an actual telephone conversation.

3. You have spoken to him on the phone a few times and still he makes no effort to meet you but continually trys to say hello and contact you here via email or IM.

4.You realize after a few emails that he says the same thing in every email & say already ran out of things to talk about.

5. At first you thought him being 100 miles away, currently working on his Masters, having a fulltime career and having his kids every other weekend may not get in the way of spending time with you.. BUT then you realize that will never happen and you would rather meet a man who is more AVAILABLE.

*** These are just some reasons for POOFING on my end and a few from my two girlfirends who are also on POF***



to add to exotic's list:


6. The man in question is so into sports, after work he is in a adult league that practices 4 days a week, and has games on Sat and Sun, he has season tickets and only takes his friends, and watches so much on TV, that he can only find time after Sports Center/ The Best Damn Sports Show, Period. Add in a child who is into sports, and u lose the rest of the week too.

7. He has all the big boy toys, and he takes them out to play every weekend, and doesn't think that u may want to go. He has off-road, snow and water sport toys, so he is busy every season.

8. He has commitments to his family. Most women love the fact that he is a great dad, and has his kids often. When u lose the ability to make any plans that don't envolve offspring, a neice/nephew, or other relative, and can't leave because your sister needs u to watch the kids, My dad needs me to roof his house, your brother needs u to help him move, etc. Families are great, but u have to be able to separate, sometimes.

9. He is a workaholic. He can e mail at whim because he has it open in a different window. He is online while working. He calls, but plans fall thru because he needs to meet a deadline/work overtime to cover a shift, etc. When u work more than 16 hours a day, 6 to 7 days a week, for longer than 6 months needed to complete your project, u are a workaholic. I know that some people who own their own businesses work alot, especially in the beginning. But there is usually an ebb and flow to that. A finish line when u can cut back.Wor shouldn't define anyone.

10. The most common problem, he is dating/writing to/seeing many women, and he can't keep u straight. He "POOFS" because there is a bigger fish on the line.

OKAY, lets add to this, see how many we can get without repeats....

Guys, u can add too, some of us need to OPEN OUR EYES too.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How far would you go?
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:02:37 AM
I wouldn't travel more than 100 miles, there are posts and posts here on the forums of people who agree to meet up with someone and it goes terribly wrong.

Even if u are in town for a business trip, it is a risk. U could be hurt, or worse. People have posted how they met the person and they aren't even the person pictured. If that happens locally, why wouldn't it happen at great distances?

People have posted how they are left at the airport to fend for themselves in a forien city. Although they were getting a hotel room, the person was supposed to meet them to show them how to get around, and to welcome them to the city.

The truth is, I wouldn't expect them to travel to me either!

I have been divorced 18 years now, and I still wouldn't do it.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Would it be in bad taste
Posted: 2/11/2007 11:55:10 PM

I am going out to dinnner with someone I have been seeing for about 7 weeks on Valentines Day. I was wondering about having a discussion about being "exclusive" or "where we are in our situation" would be in bad taste on that particular day as it is a romantic day?




NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!

DO NOT BRING THIS UP, LET HIM DO IT!

Exceptions: are u already intimate? If so, then yes, bring it up, but wait until after the Valentine's date, this way, when he gets scared, at least u had the last great date.

I am sorry, any man will tell u, they want to do the pursuing, they want to feel ready, and your question may either rush him into a decision, or scare him off.

Any guy who tells me different, isn's being honest. Every guy I have ever questioned, no matter what stage of the relationship we were in, has always panicked. I have learned that I just have to wait until he brings up the topic.

Good luck. I hope it works well for u.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
When they don't call after a shower???
Posted: 2/11/2007 11:22:29 PM
Well Itzonlyluv,
unfortunately u fell into the "game" and no one told u that u were playing! I will never understand why PEOPLE do that, avoid an issue instead of confronting the difficult things they have to do.

I have had that happen to me, and they have used a myriad of lame excuses. The most recent one was a guy who claimed that his cell phone wouldn't hold a charge. Now I know I keep all my phone #'s in my cell phone too, but if u have someone's cell #, home # and e mail address, there is no reason not to call or connect to explain the situation.
So I asked him if since his cell won't hold a charge, naturally this means EVERY OTHER PHONE ON THE PLANET STOPPED WORKING TOO, right? And after a week, an e mail explaining the situation s long overdue. But I digress....

In today's age of cell phones, blackberrys or pagers, e mail at work and home, cell phones that are internet capable, the whole "I couldn't call u" is real lame, and a lie. The fact is, u didn't want to call. When they say they are going to take a shower, (or go eat, or on the other line, etc.) it is just an excuse to get u off the phone. The truth is neither guy had the balls to be man enough to tell u "thank u, but no thank u". A lot of men (NOT ALL, NO E- MAIL, PLEASE!)can't handle a woman who shows the slightest interest in them. They get scared. U showed interest, and he went looking for the bigger and better deal. He thinks that the grass is always going to be greener, in the dating buffet, he has a full plate, but is looking down the line because there is different stuff down there, and although he may be perfectly happy with his full plate, curiosity kills him.

I can only explain this anomaly by saying neither one of them were looking for anything serious, even if that isn't what u wanted, u prolly represented it to them.

But to sum it all up, I do believe there is a class that is taught to HS boys that teaches them all of the lame excuses. Some guys have them commited to memory, others choose to use them sparingly. In any case, every guy I have dated or been involved with has used them, expecting a positive outcome. I guess that is why I am still single. I listen.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Inland Empire Singles Mixer (Upland,CA) Feb 16th, 2007
Posted: 2/11/2007 7:15:32 PM
well what kind of system, like I hear "SPEED DATING" is like?

Give everyone a number and they collect numbers of other members they want to meet, turn it in and u find out if it is mutual, without getting turned down directly? That is kinda good.

Please elaborate on your system........

And to those of u who say it seems like mostly guys I counted at least half of the profiles with pix are women, and those without pix could be. It is about half and half.
So my question to those who balk at this is......Do u mean that not enough of your type of woman is going?

This is a mixer, and although I have never been to one, I am going to this one, and I will be driving quite a ways, at least 30 minutes to attend. The point is to meet new people, so just go. What else do u hav planned?
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Would anyone be interested in attending a Plentyoffish.com singles mingle party?
Posted: 2/7/2007 6:10:22 PM
there are 2 taking place in Long Beach this weekend....

One starts at 12 noon at a park, the other is as a bluess club at 6pm or so... look it up on the events page.


I would go to one near Downtown, or Pasadena on Colorado blvd is nice, and Downtown Alhambra is starting to come along like Old Town Pasadena. There is a Micro brewery, several restaurants, and at least 2 nite clubs......
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Is there an answer to this?
Posted: 2/7/2007 3:02:48 PM
I am sure it wasn't the song. If she even likes music, she should be able to see it for what it is worth, and enjoy music of all kinds, even if it isn't her favorite genre.

Unfortunatly, she wasn't woman enough to give u the reason, she just ran. That is unfortunate, because she taints the rest of us.

I just had a guy stop calling cold, without explaination, and I can only assume what it means because he didn't have the balls to tell me directly.

U will get past this, as to what degree it affected u, only u know, but it will pass.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Does no one care about grammar and spelling on here?
Posted: 2/6/2007 9:32:20 PM
Play nice Kiddies, or I am going to have to pull this forum post over!!

I do beleve that this post was started in earnest, and has become a way to judge others.


Come on now, play nice! Santa Claus is watching!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
What makes you respond to an email?
Posted: 2/5/2007 12:36:16 AM
OP---- first of all, I can't view your profile, so I can't see what the hubub is about!

I respond to e mail from a guy who takes the time to read my profile, but when I say that, I wonder how many men do take the time to read profiles, because I am pretty clear what I am seeking, or more to the point, who I hope responds. But I do get many responses from guys who are nothing at all what I am looking for. So when I say that they read my profile, actually they read what they want to read.

But anyone can spot a generic response, I am sure women do it too. If someone mentions something from my profile, I will respond. Generally tho, once I respond, I never hear from them again. I stopped trying to figure u guys out.

So tell me, Snglebrothanlbc what is the deal?
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Forums: Better than the profiles for getting to know you
Posted: 2/4/2007 5:29:15 PM
I couldn't agree more!

Plus I got to know some awesome women here in the forums that I wouldn't have ever spoken to since I don't look for women here!!

There are a few people here that I look for and read their posts as they are usually correct and funny as He**!!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 71 (view)
 
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 2/4/2007 5:23:57 PM

Can I get a 1st date?!




I am tired of first dates. I have been on too many. I want to go on my last first date. I am ready for a serious relationship.


I just ended a "dating" relationship with a guy who for no reason just stopped calling. We had gone out on our 5th date, but he wanted to wait for Valentines day and we would stay the nite in a hotel. Then just stopped calling. Never had a chance to test the 5th date rule this time.........

Maybe he was embarrassed of his short comings.

When people just flake like that, they give u license to guess why. I am currently working on the whole "afraid to be naked in front of someone new" idea so he bolted.

Hey EEEEEK,GreenEyes and Mom, what is your take?? U guys always make me laugh.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Inappropriate attire for a first date
Posted: 2/4/2007 12:10:10 AM
Like I always say, appropriate for the venue of the date, clean and neat. Shower, brush your teeth and hair. Don't take a second shower in cologne.

We each have our own taste, and I try not to judge the guy who just showed up wearing acid wash jeans, hi top tennies and a mullet. But if he is here to meet me I may have to keep walking and go out the back door.

I think that hygene isn't even a bargaining point. If u aren't clean on our first date, what will the 10th date be like? Wrestling in mud? I worry that if I actually hung out to find out who u are, when I open the fridge, something will walk out an greet me! And don't even let me go to the last time those bed sheets were washed........

If we are going bowling, then jeans and a CLEAN t shirt are ok. If we are going to a 5 star restaurant, then u need to wear a jacket and maybe a tie. It is all depending on the date.

What I think most of the people are questioning is why would anyone want to show up in dirty, wrinkled, or holey clothing? Shoes that are so old u can see sox thru them? If they are comfortable in that kind of clothing, great, but the dating pool is limited to Jerry Springer guests.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Message from a stranger…WTF ?
Posted: 2/3/2007 11:42:49 PM
I do believe it is one of those scams from Nigeria or other such country that they have been talking about on the news. I get alot from people claiming to be in the UK too, but I dont' buy it as their English is attrocious!

I am sure the poster who said FOREIGN meant from countries (such as Nigeria) where they pay people to pose online and write all over the world hoping to wrangle someone's banking information. They do it as lonely hearts seeking love, and also when they claim u can cash this larger check if u send them the smaller amount they request. When u try to cash the check it is a forgery.

MySpace is crawling with them, I just report as SPAM.

If u really think about it, the title "Message from a stranger..WTF?" is kinda ironic. I mean, we are here on a dating site, and virtual strangers looking to meet. Any message here could be construed as a "Message from a stranger"

Believe me, some of us are stranger than others!!!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Does no one care about grammar and spelling on here?
Posted: 2/3/2007 11:16:25 PM

Judging the intellect of others based on such trivial pet peeves casts a dimmer light on ones own personality than it does on its intended target.




I think that this poster is absolutely correct, except one thing, this is an ONLINE FORUM. Reading and writing are kinda expected to participate.

The OP means just that when u are participating in an online forum, including e mail and the profiles posted here to meet others, it is kinda important that u at least attempt to write coherently, and if u cant spell that is what spell check is for, although it won't catch homonyms. The basic grammar is also proper when writing anything. I am sorry, but if u can't grasp basic grammar, don't write.

I have a pet peeve along these lines: I got a call from a volunteer for the local councilman here who is running for re-election. His volunteer couldn't speak properly on the phone, she used very improper English, and she read from a script to advise us of the councilman's platform, she was actually was having difficulty pronouncing words. Now if u think she may not be a native English speaker, I thought that too, but then use her in another capacity, or have her speak to constituants in her native language. The girl couldn't get thru the script. It made me question who is paying attention to the councilman's staff, although I am sure it was a volunteer, it was difficult to communicate with her.

My point is, if someone can't write well, have them help in other ways, if they don't speak well, have them do a different task.

Ok, I am done.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Bi Polar, how do I tell him?
Posted: 2/1/2007 6:39:05 PM

I am not so sure the diagnoses as BI POLAR at 19 is necessary...a good diet, a trip or two at the gym and a good sense of who you are should alleviate most of the symptoms..also education and a good set of goals in life should be in the mix too..



Arealangel, do u and Tom Cruise both think u are professionals?

this is not something that can be "cured" with diet and excersise. Cognitive therapy and meds are ususally required.




Getting involved with the member of the opposite sex when your not sure what you want to be when you grow up...is a recipe for disaster my dear...

Don't pile your emotional mix onto a potential boyfriend to see if he stays or runs?.......It's not fair for you or him.......


Just because she is Bi-Polar means she is defective and unworthy of love and companionship, right? it is opinions like this that make people with Bi-polar desease omit this fact, go off thier meds, and attempt suicide. They already feel unworthy, so when u tell them to "not pile your emotional mix" onto a man makes them see that it may be true.

So if u don't like it, don't date them. But just because u won't do it doesn't mean that there isn't a CARING man or two out there that may understand.

OP- of course u know u have to tell him, but this is something saved for the conversation you have when the 2 of u decide that u want to pursue something serious. This gives him the option to leave before u get serious. But I think that if u tell him too soon, he will definitely leave. Although some of u may think this is deceiving, most Bi-Polar people on meds act appropriatly, mood swings are undercontrol, and they can participate in a relationship.

Like another poster said, "should I tell u that I have Arthritis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, etc..." full disclosure too soon sends people running.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Why don't men like to dress up for dates?
Posted: 2/1/2007 6:24:06 PM

I have to confess. I'm a big man, and it's been incredibly difficult for me to find clothes that fit.

I can't go to Wal-Mart and get what I need. I need to travel 50 miles to a "Big Men's" shop, and I have no money right now for new clothes.

So I do my best with what I have. Maybe that's why I'm still a bit shy about dating.

With any luck I'll have money next year. I plan to start exercising. lose weight and buy new clothes.


first off, I hope u are dieting for your health and self, not just to attract women.

Secondly, I am a BBW, and I order online too other than the shops designed for plus size women, I know there are shops for big guys too.

Third, I feel as tho if u are clean and neat, if your clothes are older, no one could tell anyway. Dress appropriately for the date's venue.

I think the OP mean that it was if the guy just threw on what was hanging on the chair from last nite, or worse, didn't even bother to put any thought into his appearance at all.This is actually worse. A shower is manditory, even if u are going on a physical date. Brush your teeth, shave, this all shows pride in your appearance regardless what u are wearing.

I think I speak for most women when I say that we don't expect u to shop for a new outfit, or wear a suit and tie if we are going to a movie or shooting pool. What we expect is clean, neat clothing that shows u thought about how u look. Nice jeans and a t shirt are fine if that is what the occasion calls for. If u are going to a 5 star restaurant, a jacket and tie may be required. If u are going to ride bikes along the beach, then shorts and tennis shoes are correct.

We don't expect perfection, just appropriate dress for the occasion. Be clean, neat and don't smell.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 73 (view)
 
One word or one line responses to an e-mail, what does it mean?
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:39:37 PM

I have a very bad habit of doing that...it sux I know cause every person that emails me bi*ches about but...
I'm trying to get better at responding in length to them but they write such long emails and the phone is so much easier


this is quite ok too, Bella, I imagine that at that point u offer your phone # and a breif explaination that this is not your forte u prefer to talk on the phone. This is fine if u TAKE THE TIME TO TELL THE OTHER PERSON THAT U ARE WRITING TO THIS IS THE SITUATION. If u don't the other person is lost, and disregards u as a flake.

I did state that if anyone I am writing has that problem, then I will gladly call him, if he initiates that. After all, it is his problem, not mine. Maybe Online Dating sites aren't for u then, if u aren't a writing kinda person.

But Bella, I am sure u tell people that, so no one thinks u are a flake.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Friends
Posted: 2/1/2007 5:24:57 PM
Unfortunately, what most people mean by friends/hanging out it not what u think.
There are a few, very few that mean they are seeking friends or to hang out. Most mean they are seeking a "FWB" (friends with benefits) or "hooking up" situation. This is sex without strings. They don't have to date u, take u anywhere, call u, or do any other action that is required in a real, grown up relationship.

Hooking up, or FWB is hurting women. They have studied it. Here is the evidence:

http://www.americanvalues.org/html/a-college_women.html

http://www.americanvalues.org/html/campus_romance_unrequited.html

http://www.americanvalues.org/html/a-college_women.html

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_2_40/ai_105518215



Just google the words "hooking up" and u will find pages of articles, I have read some, and ABC News did a story on it, and women are in therapy, college girls are seeking help due to self-destructive behavior, they can't finish college, are attempting suicide (although that is drastic and few) due to the feelings of self loathing attributed to this act.

They have shown that a womans brain has a natural chemical, or basically we are wired to equate sex and love, home, and feelings. When we attempt to avoid it or ignore it, it shows itself in other ways. Self abusive behavior, excessive behavior can all be attributed to "hooking up" or FWB.

I am in no way a prude, and I have to admit that I have tried this type of "dating" when I am lonely (if u get what I mean). I am 42 and I still can't do it. I think that sex between 2 consenting adults is great. I also think that if u don't wait until marriage, that is your perrogative.

I do believe that we are hurting other women when we do it also. I mean, if u meet a guy and u like him, I'll bet u have had a guy want to "hook up" with u and not take any time to get to know u.

Anyway, JMO
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
First message rules
Posted: 1/30/2007 8:52:53 PM
I don't think that text speak is all that bad, but if u respond, ALWAYS respond to the question that is asked of u, ALWAYS write more than 3 lines (this shows interest) and read the profile and mention something that caught your attention. This way the person knows u are responding to them and not sending a mass response.

Alot of people here send a mass response, like 20 or 30 e mails that say the exact same thing, hoping at least 2 or 3 people respond back.

Be sincere, if u aren't sure u are interested in a particular person, say so, NICELY. I agree somewhat with UPTOWNCALIGAL that you should respond to everyone who writes, but if u get a response that says "nice _____________" I can understand if u just delete....
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
So I've figured out a new trend on dating sites...
Posted: 1/15/2007 2:40:06 PM
Ok, so this topic has been covered at least 3 times in the year I have been a member. Both sides do it. It is wrong either way. We also covered the topic of actual "FAKE" photos all together. One guy here said a girl had a pic of Gwen Stefani as her profile pic, another had Jennifer Aniston.

I have had guys post pix of their buddies, and they aren't even in the pic. Pix that are 10 years old, pix of a guy with a hat on to cover the fact that they are balding (personally, I LOVE bald guys, but the hat is there to hide that, so it is deceiving.) A guy on here said he got a pic from a girl who actually photoshopped out the fact that she was overweight, and he lightened up the photo to see that she took off major poundage! That is wrong, because that is fraud. Obviously she has major insecurities, just as the man who wears a hat in all his pics.

We have also covered duplicate profiles too! I have come across a guy who has 3. Two are almost exactly alike, down to the witty remark and typos. The third one is different, but u can tell it is the same guy cuz his profile name on all 3 are similar, with the difference of only one letter.

When u come across this, u are supposed to report it to the webmaster. On everyone's page there is a link that says "report_______" and if we all did that to the fake ones, not as a childish retribution to a person we dated and it didn't work out, we could weed out the losers who are her to play with people, not to meet and date.

JMO
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Why do some people feel it's ok to blast you...
Posted: 1/6/2007 8:52:02 PM
Thank you again, eeek, again, u saw right thru the silliness and made it even better!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 182 (view)
 
Full figured to BBW
Posted: 1/4/2007 9:51:18 PM
Ok, I have to add something I notice before the new year.

I have dated in the last 6 months, maybe 12 guys. I say guys, because I have yet to meet a man. I know they are out there and not all men are boys, I jst happen to be in "the zone" to meet them!

Of the 12 men I have dated, about half, well, maybe 8 of them will take me out 2 or 3 times, then just throw it out on the table, "no I am really not looking for a relationship, I know that is what your ad said, so I just said that so u would talk to me. I really just like BBW's and I think u are sexy, so what do u say? Can we have sex?" Not in so many words, of course, but that is the gist.

Of the others, at least 3 have met me at the FIRST MEETING, where we are in our own cars meeting in public for coffee or a drink, they ask: "instead of coffee/drink, can we just get a 6 pack and a room?"

The last Minority will date me as long as it takes, and then once we are intimate, they tell me they just wanted to fool around, no strings attached.

So basically, my sisters, I am informing you that I have noticed a slight trend. Since I only dated 12 guys in the last 6 months, I can't say much more, but just a notice.

Seems as tho SOME guys are just answering ads for BBWs no matter what u want, and acting as tho that's what they want, so they can have sex. (I havn't had sex with 12 guys, Im just saying!) Be aware, once u meet them the story may change.

And guys wonder why we ask 1000's of questions..........
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Why do some people feel it's ok to blast you...
Posted: 1/3/2007 1:16:26 AM
Yes Eeek, u do have a nack for pi$$ing off the bullies, I have seen several in the last few days on these forums!!

I hope that I can be added to your new friends list. I think U are a hoot, and I look forward to all of ur musings here.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Women on POF have standards way too high
Posted: 1/3/2007 12:28:17 AM

I'm not just complaining because I'm bitter and rejected
I'm gonna take a stab in the dark here and guess that your pants are on fire.



Eldubu, I am not a person who generally uses the little smiley emotocons, but I have to tell u when I read ur post, I laughed so hard I cried......so here u go.



U are one of the few that makes me laugh, thank u so much I needed it.

(After all I was so busy crying for the OP) We women are such cruel folk. And after his extensive 2 weeks of doing nothing but reading profiles and polling men he didn't have time to sleep, he needs someone to cry for him.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Women on POF have standards way too high
Posted: 1/2/2007 10:18:13 PM

Most above average looking women will not give the time of day to a guy who isnt a total hunk or a superstud. Guys arent that damn picky.


What a crock! Yes SOME men are able to see past physical beauty, but as a rule, unless u are 5'9", 110 lbs, and blonde, u go virtually unnoticed.

But to make this remark, u are WAY off the mark!


Sure guys can be superficial and picky too, but nowhere near the extent that women are. Not by a longshot.


by the way, most of the info listed on these profiles are PREFERENCES.

Main Entry: pref·er·ence
Pronunciation: 'pre-f&rn(t)s, 'pre-f(&-)r&n(t)s
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English preferraunce, from Middle French preferance, from Medieval Latin praeferentia, from Latin praeferent-, praeferens, present participle of praeferre
1 a : the act of preferring : the state of being preferred b : the power or opportunity of choosing
2 : one that is preferred

No where on MOST of the profiles here, (men or women for that matter)list that u MUST fall under this critera.
I am sorry that u feel as tho u don't measure up in some way, so u need to paint all profiles and women with the same brush. Keep looking, and remember, they are preferences. If u are 5'9" tall and it says 5'10", e mail her and call this to her attention, maybe she is like me, and will consider that fine. If it says no older than 48 and u are 49 or even 50, send the email, but again, call it to her attention and ask her to llok at your profile and get back to you.

My preferences are there, because I getmail from men that are MUCH older than I. There is a difference between 2 or 3 years and 20. There is a differnence between 5'10 and 5'3"..

MY point is, when in doubt, ask.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Absolute Rudness !!
Posted: 1/2/2007 9:20:24 PM

We all agree it's rude. We all agree that men and women should take the time to respond to eachother if possible.

My question is this.

How do you think you will fair in a relationship when getting stood up once makes you

1) complain, whine and throw a pity party for yourself (RSVP - YOU)

2) get on your high horse and say that all women on-line are rude? (I myself am, but I'd like to consider myself the exception..and prefer the word honest) lol

I suggest you take a small break from dating and find some big boy pants.



UK28----- U crack me up!!

And in this day and age of text messages and cell phones, UNLESS u got hit by a bus, this behavior is unacceptable. It has happened to me, I empathize!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
GIRLS PRETENDING TO BE WOMEN
Posted: 1/2/2007 9:10:11 PM
Yes as a matter of fact, It is girls pretending to be women. I am sorry it happened to you. But as a woman, I have to deal with little boys pretending to be men.

They send u an e mail and then cry in the forums if they don't get a response. Or worse, u send a "thank u but no thank u." and they bombard u with insults until u have to block them and report it to the moderator.

I am sorry that this happened to you. Chances are they weren't ready to meet anyone. I have had my share (and probably YOURS, too!) of making dates from here and being stood up or blown off. Unfortunately, it is the nature of the beast. Keep Looking!! Good luck!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why do some people feel it's ok to blast you...
Posted: 1/2/2007 2:33:29 PM
Some of what GREATLION said is true, but I want to go a little farther.(further?) Anyway,

I think that it comes from a sense that they aren't the type of person u are looking for, and they feel insecure, so they need to lash out, and u are the target, unfortunately. I have noticed that many times if a person feels less than adequate, they will attack anything and whatever is closest.

I notice that in the forums, people think it is ok to rip into someone for their opinion. Where does this anger come from? What makes them think it is right? Most people are here looking for help or someone who has been thru the same circumstance. Then the losers with nothing else to do but be cruel think it is their place to write some seething post. I call them losers because if they weren't, why would they need to be so mean instead of sending some sympathy or assistance?

And where do these people get off judging anyone else anyway? Unless u subject your profile to the "rate me" part, I don't see the point, except maybe to feel better about themselves, even if it is only fleeting. Once they go back to there sad little lives they feel small again.

It is not ok to blast someone else, ever! Even if they did something to you, (although I can't imagine what they could do to u ONLINE!) take the high road, even if u are the only one who knows u are on it!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Number of people that you have dated?
Posted: 1/2/2007 12:12:15 AM
I take the 5th.......
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
guys - what does this mean?
Posted: 1/1/2007 11:41:55 PM

: When I get an email response from a guy without a return question included in it, I assume they don't neccessarily want to continue a dialogue. What do you guys think?


It could easily mean nothing more than conversing by email isn't always as easy as talking can be.



If this is the case, and it very well could be, then isn't it the responsibility of the person who has the difficulty conversing via e-mail to inform the other party of this fact?

In another thread I started regarding one word or one line responses, I was trying to get the same kind of info. I was told that maybe the guy has trouble communicating online. My next post was "what are u doing on an online dating site, ir u have difficulty communicating online?"

I think that if someone has this difficulty, then it is their responsibility to send an e mail to that effect. A simple:

Thanks for the email, I don't type really well/ have alot of internet time to respond, etc. Can u call me? (123) 456-7890. I would really apreciate it. I will gladly answer any questions on the phone. I hope to hear form u soon.

This way, u tell them that u want to talk, but the internet isn't the best for u. U give YOUR number, so the person doesn't feel uncomfortable in giving out their phone # too soon. After all, it is YOUR problem, not theirs.

How simple a solution? I'd love to hear one easier. It is about communication, right?
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 1/1/2007 10:54:37 PM
I know that if I am attracted to a man I am dating, after the 3rd date I am taking cold showers. But I have to stand fast to my original comment that anytime b4 the 5th date is a relationship killer.

I have even been the the throes of passion and had to leave the situation. I will discuss it the next day, and he ALWAYS tells me that it will be ok, and don't worry, it will all work out. We discuss it back and forth, and I vocalize my concerns, and of course, HE is ALWAYS different, he is not like all the rest........

I know that it SHOULD be between each couple as a unique couple and discussed between the two of them, and it should be agreed upon by the two of u, and it should be a comfortable time for both.

Taking all of these into consideration, and having followed these rules to the letter, EVERYTIME I have slept with a man,even between the 3rd and 5th date I have NEVER heard from the man again.(Well, until a few weeks or month later, when he relaizes what he gave up.} It is because at the time all they think about it getting laid, once their head is cleared, they realize they don't want a relationship.

And before any of u smarty pants decide to say that maybe I am not a good lover, or comment that I may be lacking in some way, that is the farthest from the truth. They all come back eventually, but first they have to act foolish and avoid me for a month or 2, then they call and try to do that whole "I was busy, problems at work/home ....." story.

I am not bragging, just the truth. every single man comes back. It may be a month, or 6 months, but they all come crawling back. Of course tha answer is no, but they try. I am honest up front and tell them that I am seeking a LTR. I know u have to start as friends first, and lead to more. Anyway, this has been my experience.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 1/1/2007 1:03:39 AM

Id say the original poster should be grateful whether its the 3rd, 5th or 35th.

This wasn't a very nice thing to say... I didn't ask for insults.





I agree Grneyedqt, here we go again with the insults!



It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than open it and remove all doubt.

The guy who posted that remark needs to heed this advice.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Didn't get my children anything for Christmas...
Posted: 1/1/2007 12:48:22 AM
I am sorry to be the one to tell u this, but remember, they are not his kids, they are yours.

Check out a few of the other forums here and see what a lot of people think about "raising other people's kids". I have said that years ago, entire communities raised kids, now, even remarring doesn't get u a person who will care about your kids.

Sorry that it happened to your kids, they are the truely innocent here.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Jarheads and people's first impression...
Posted: 1/1/2007 12:43:04 AM
SteelHawke, first of all let me say thank you for taking your life in your hands to serve my country! I appreciate that u did that for me! Thank you!!

Now, I think all military men are hot, but Marines, by far are the hottest! They are the first in in any situation, and the last out! They are in excellent shape, and are usually very neat.

There isnt anything sexier than a Marine in his Blues.... except to watch him get out of them!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
The most bizarre thing ive encountered with a girl
Posted: 1/1/2007 12:36:08 AM

Why date someone 95 miles away?...isn't that silly anyhow?


Easy Parry, if u were a woman with that attitude here, a few regular posters would attack u for not being serious enough!

I completely agree tho, anymore than about 50 miles no matter where u live is too far and requires real plans to drive. Not a big thing if it is someone u are already seeing, but if u are just dating or a first meet, It is a big risk. I have read at least 20 similar stories from all over the country and a few from Canada too [WAIT, I remember 2 from England too!)

My point is, this is a risk anyway, and if u have to travel to meet, u r taking a risk. Let's not mention the people who have actually boarded planes and traveled 1000's of miles to meet.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
3rd date/5th date rule
Posted: 12/31/2006 11:59:07 PM
I know that everytime I have slept with a man before the 3rd date, I never hear from him again.

So I know that it applies as far as I am concerned. I think that is because as much as they protest, most men wont take u seriously if u sleep with them right away.
I don't know if they can handle the fact that u are a sexual being and have desires too. The fact that u are attracted to them and can admit it, so u sleep with them and it is easier for them to consider u easy than it is to think they may be woman enough to know a good thing when they see it!

It has never worked for me. Any time before the 5th date really has never worked for me.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Man Purse
Posted: 12/30/2006 12:04:16 AM

Metersexual is a hetrosexual man who is rather into grooming and dressing snappy.




Actually, a meter-sexual is a guy who has a fetish for parking-meters. Be carefull where you put your change.



LMAO,,,,,, OMG NorCalShyGuy that was hysterical!




For the gentleman from NJ who had never heard that term, I have two words for u:

RYAN SEACREST (American Idol host)

He is the typical person to think of when using that term, In fact I think Simon called him that on air a few times. Also think Josh Duhamel from the show Las Vegas, and John Stamos now that he is on ER and does the whole fashion thing. Even Dave Navarro from Jane's Addiction (band) can even be considered a metrosexual, because he does all of this AND wears makeup daily! Any man can be metrosexual at times, depending on the occasion. Any man who tweezes, gets facials and mani/pedi s regularly. High lites in the hair is a big clue. Any man who knows how to use a straight Iron.

It is a hollywood term, or I guess maybe "show business" term.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
If a guy doesn't email back what is the cut off period-a week? couple days?
Posted: 12/29/2006 9:55:00 PM
At this time of year, alot of people are busy, and on vacation without 24/7 internet access.
I think that once u send,just forget about it and keep sending. Don't worry about it, now if u had been corresponding and then NOTHING.... that is another story!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Re:can someone please tell me why do men think we are impressed by!!!!
Posted: 12/27/2006 2:59:59 AM

Not to downplay your clever little lie about your baby's daddy being in prison, but if you talk like you write, I would have been out of there just as fast. What a butchery of the English language. Your story instantly lost credibility with me when I realized that you had four sentences before your first period.

Honestly, does it take that much extra effort to use punctuation?


EXACTLY! and can we start using some paragraphs too?

It is hard to read a story when it is 18 lines long and there are no breaks or indentations.

Please people, Help me help u!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Don't Waste OUR Time.
Posted: 12/27/2006 2:54:09 AM
grneyedqt:




did u say Party?
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 40 (view)
 
How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days?
Posted: 12/27/2006 2:35:46 AM
Two words, JESSICA SIMPSON!

If u watched that program, u would have seen Nick Lachey rolling his eyes hourly, yet he put up with her ditzieness, stupidity, call it what u want. The fact is some guys will put up with a girl who is as dumb as a box of rocks al long as she is hot.

I have seen men who are with stupid girls, they will talk to ANYONE else to carry on a conversation, because their hot girlfriends generally can't!
Yet they stay.......

I think that in that movie, and IMO real life, they will stay with a hot girl no matter how she acts.

Not all men mind u, but a great majority.
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Why don't men like to dress up for dates?
Posted: 12/27/2006 2:25:58 AM
I say just dress accordingly to your plans. If u are going to dinner, nothing wrong with jeans and a nice shirt, button down is preferred, (even like Di c k ies brand, or OP) and if not, a nice clean, whole t-shirt without holes or stains. But again, appropriate to the date. If u are going bowling or to a place like Dave & Busters (adult arcade, pool tables, skee ball, etc,)then jeans and a t shirt would be appropriate.

I don't think the OP meant that she had a problem with his clothing choices per se, it was how they were put together as an outfit. Too big clothing on anyone is a turnoff. Sloppy is a turnoff.


Clean clothes and self respect are always in fashion.

I once dated a man who wore nothing but d i c kies shorts, everywhere, work, casual, wherever. I had concert tickets to a nice venue, and I asked him to dress nicely, because we had passes to a nightclub afterwards.

He showed up in the d i c kies shorts, and a casual dressy shirt. We wouldn't have gotten into the club due to the dress code, so I had passes that I couldn't use that just were wasted.
That is a problem, someone who couldn't even wear slacks one evening. That is just inappropriate. (it wouldn't let me post the brand name, it thinks I am using a bad word! lol)
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
guys - what does this mean?
Posted: 12/27/2006 2:05:22 AM

"how interested would a man be if a woman was unbearably honest with them"

Sometimes they RUN the opposite direction if you are unbearably honest with them, I've done it and he did.


particularly if the brutally honesty has anything to do with the previous boyfriends u had, or what u are looking for, if that is NOT what they want, they flee, never answer another e mail, voice mail or text message.......

I am always honest, and if someone asks me a question, I answer them honestly, every time!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Don't Waste OUR Time.
Posted: 12/27/2006 1:44:52 AM
Sorry , duplicate post! My sincere appologies!!
 tricialvzfriends
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Don't Waste OUR Time.
Posted: 12/27/2006 1:44:30 AM
Additionally,

I am meeting men who are at work like 15 hours a day, 6 days a week. They expect u to adapt to that lifestyle. On their days off, they are playing catch up, so they can't see anyone. That or they have plans with their friends. I don't expect them to give up thrie friends, and if we have only dated a few times, I don't really think I am ready to be judged by his friends anyway. (and u ALL know that we judge our friends new gf or bf, admit it!)

I don't expect him to give up any friend time, but if that is all that is available, shouldn't I get some of it? It is either that, or don't date that guy, and I am willing to be somewhat adaptable.

So if u say u want to meet someone, u have to give up some of your busy life, or some of your hobby time to devote to dating, don't expect everyone to change their schedule for u.



......And although people like Momatrix make long profiles that weed some folks out, I have to say I have some info on my profile that is very clear, and the men that respond don't always read it, so I understand Momatrix reasoning for it, but I'd bet she would agree that it doesn't always work!
 
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