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 Author Thread: Dating while unemployed
 Burlingame620
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 125 (view)
 
Dating while unemployed
Posted: 9/25/2009 11:48:09 PM
I like the posting that said this guy probably has a job by now--he posted in March--he really should pop back in and update everyone. The thing I wondered about in reading the thread is that everyone assumes to find a job you stay in the same town. My take is that when you are looking for a job these days, you go where the job is--that may mean a place you didn't expect to be; however, isn't life an adventure where you don't know what's coming next? For some, it's a play, and when the second act doesn't work right, they recast it, but for those of us who see it as an adventure, it's easy. You get the job first because you don't know where you will be living; then, once you're there, why not date?
 Burlingame620
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Anyone notice the new feature, Want a date on Friday night?
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:35:53 PM
I didn't understand the point--I figure if someone is on the site and had logged in during the past few days, they probably are open to a date on Friday night. It's a little cheesy to me, like we're all looking for dates so pick me pick me.
 Burlingame620
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
The One?
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:30:57 PM
A recent LDR of more than 2 years recently ended. Although, her reasons were quite unrelated, I think that she would still be here if she thought "He's the one." And, now she is Jakarta--is that far enough? I don't know if I am "The One" for anyone or if anyone is "The One" for me--since I am single and not widowed, time may be running out on getting an answer to that one. All I know is that my job is to make me better today than yesterday, and better tomorrow than today. Since I have never mistaken myself for perfect, it is a never-ending challenge--enough to fill up my life. As for love, I learned long ago (reference is Erich Fromm's Art of Loving) that 1. Love is an art to be mastered, 2. To master an art it must become a matter of ultimate concern. What Fromm did not tell me is: 1. Just because you love someone masterfully, does not mean they are capable of reciprocating, but 2. when they leave you are just as loving--the ability to love is not something that cannot be taken away. There is a Spanish proverb: No one can steal the dance you have danced. With apologies to Spain: No one can steal the love you have loved.
 Burlingame620
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:20:32 PM
I think this is very thoughtful. First, truth in advertising, while I am not bi-polar, I attract bi-polar folks like a magnet, including a college buddy who was hospitalized, my professor of political theory, my first wife, numerous girlfriends, and 2 adopted children. Second, as far as deciding whether to date someone who is bipolar or not, it depends on whether they comply with a medication regime AND whether it works for them. Some folks try forever to find the right meds while others take a pill a day and seem no different than anyone else. Also, are they comfortable with mentioning it and discussing what it means to them.

As far as identification, some markers (may overlap ADHD):

1. Self-medication, might include exaggerated use of caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, and marijuana. My first wife once said over some scotch, "Sometimes I feel like I can just drink myself sober." and then she passed out. I did not understand at the time, but that is precisely what they try to do.

2. Charisma -- my first wife could have walked into the crowded waiting room of a cancer ward and had everyone up and dancing within 10 minutes. A very magnet personality.

3. A family history of suicide or alcoholism. While alcoholism may not indicate bipolar, it might. As an aside, I have had 3 serious relationships in my life, all of whom were with women whose fathers were alcoholic, and all of which were failed relationships. There is an extensive literature online about Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA). Even if alcohol is not abused, the children suffer an impact on their communications and intimacy.

Resources for bipolar include www.mha.org and www.nami.org

If you think of people with an "artistic temperment", that is code for bi-polar. Bobby Knight is obviously bipolar. So is Mariah Carey, as well as others more "normal" appearing from outside such as Jane Pauley. A good first hand account of bipolar is in "An Unquiet Mind." by Kay Redfield Jamison.
 
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