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Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 52 (view)

Is this a game, or interest? Posted: 7/5/2009 8:45:59 PM
Well, I wouldn't call it 'total mental obsession', as previous stated there was simply confusion over intent as her actions were very much not the norm for me. Then as people responded I'd pop in and comment also. Nothing really has changed- still letting things unfold as-is. Still, if someone comments or offers something interesting, hearing their opinion of the situation is welcome. Feel free to search these forums- they're filled to the brim with similar threads from both genders.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 65 (view)

How important is money? Posted: 7/5/2009 2:56:56 PM
Just read the Communist Manifesto planks and you will see that they are all in effect in the good ole U.S. of A. The fifth plank calls for a Central Bank, that controls the issuance of credit. A central planner who decides who gets the money. Sound fishy yet? But your assertion is false- While we do have a centralized banking system we never bothered with the first 4 conditions, or really the later 5 conditions of a communist state. The Manifesto was more concerned with class struggle with hints of a workers paradise, given the context it was written in, it's really hardly comparable to America today. But, I am with you that the Fed is garbage, I've always been Jacksonian in my beliefs on that- he fought tooth/nail against it, and actually succeeded in ending the bank, for a period. I also agree that those with money do tend to be, as you call them, moochers, but to a point. Even individuals can claim a good bit of money from the government if they know how, I did, and it helped me tremendously. We could go on and on discussing this, but I would encourage you to read Capital by Marx, since you seem to have such an interest in him. He goes into the exploitation of labor (lightly), and what a fallacy capitalism really is.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Preferences Anyone? Where is the OFF switch when you need one? Posted: 7/5/2009 2:44:07 PM
You can ignore the programing/preferences and become your own person, but it takes quite a bit of self-knowledge, and knowing that you've been conditioned by society to act/react in certain ways. It's a fine line between integrating into society and wanting to be a productive member of it, and taking off the blinders and deciding that not everything this thing you want to be a part of is right for you. I find everything as an "I prefer", I live myself open to experiences/people. I find things I enjoy in many folks I meet, but not in everyone I know/come across. Sure, I have deal-breakers, but some are gray-areas. I think some of what you've stated could be true, but I believe more people get their ideals/preferences in regards to partners and relationships from media drivel which has been force fed to us for generations. We're taught to look for certain things in a partner, and to behave in specific ways. This will, they assure us, make us more attractive to them, and in turn ensure a healthy/long relationship, which always ends in marriage. Clearly it's not working- look how many dating sites there are. Look at how many marriages fail every year. So many unhappy, dissatisfied people, confused and lonely, and they can't figure out why: they've done everything they've been trained to, why are they single? Why so unhappy? Did you like how I went off the deep end there? Enjoy.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 76 (view)

men's habits.... Posted: 7/5/2009 2:35:24 PM
slowed it down???????? most people have a job during the day to do??? I'm completely broke and living in my parents basement, so of course I have all the time in the world. My gf, my left hand, loves it. We make a happy couple. I reckon since people are going to harp on such a trivial thing that I might as well feed their jealousy/insecurities/curiosity. What I find interesting though is why people are so...fixed on the subject of someone elses masturbatory habits when it doesn't affect them in any way, yet they feel the need to strike out at the person, not just comment, but try to hurt them, as the person who posted this was attempting. Does it scare some of you? Are you so insecure you can't allow it to exist? I suspect it's a combo of the anonymity of the internet mixed with a group mentality: None of us are as mean as all of us. As for this posters other question- when you make your own schedule, you know, own something and be successful with it, then you have time. Clearly it's not something you understand- success, making your own time, being your own person. You're asking the wrong questions, or rather, more generalized questions- you're questions are loaded, and give in to the group mentality. Be yourself, not what you think will score you points with peers.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Can a guy become confident with women without having been successful? Posted: 7/5/2009 2:23:47 PM
Of course it can. There have been times in my life when I've had nothing, nothing but the clothes on my back and the change in my pockets (well, haha, not exactly that bad, but close enough). There are things in life that can shake even the most confident person, especially in areas which are new/different for a person. We fear these things naturally I think, and I think that might be the source of any lack of confidence. Don't think about why other relationships didn't work out, but about the one you may be starting. Think 'opportunity'- that's what life really is, as cliche as that sounds. You make your life as you want to live it. Don't like it- change it. It's your call.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

post ejaculation drip. Guys? Posted: 7/5/2009 2:16:40 PM
Judging by the legibility of your post you might want to analyze the contents of your drip to ascertain it's not cerebrospinal fluid. Win.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 73 (view)

men's habits.... Posted: 7/5/2009 2:08:25 PM
Frigid? Hardly honey! Yep I masterbate but I don't let it control my life. But you still missed the point- you were passing judgment where it wasn't needed. And worse you quipped that it controls my life, without knowing anything about me. This reveals quite a bit about you. I digress... As for societal norms- sure, but I've never been one much for giving more than lip service to many of those norms, clearly society and what it has taught us isn't everything it was cracked up to be. If anyone has read enough of my soapbox stances on society, then you'll see where I come from (it's almost copy-pasta). Maybe I have/had a libido issue, never thought too much about it. As for no one around, meaning I wasn't seeing anyone during those times, heh, but honestly there are those times when mutual fun is had. In a sense I'm rather pleased with my libido, that it hasn't faded, though I'm only in my mid 30s. I'm not one to judge a person and their habits if they don't affect me, I wrongly (and knowingly) presume others would hold themselves to that as well.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Suggestive Photos Sexy Pics on Bios Posted: 7/5/2009 1:56:45 PM
They clearly don't see the problem with their double standards. Personally I wouldn't question it, but simply avoid these people as future problems.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 69 (view)

men's habits.... Posted: 7/5/2009 1:54:19 PM
Excessive? When no one is/was around, why is it excessive? It's all subjective, in the same way I could suggest you're frigid. Fun passing judgment isn't it?

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

Excessive marriages?? Posted: 7/5/2009 1:51:10 PM
I suspect that many people who get married are trying to express their utmost emotions for the other person, and in making a legally binding agreement they feel they've succeeded. Still, 5th divorce, it seems that he may have learned- not all people learn life lessons at the same rate, and so I hope you didn't stop seeing him just due to that. We all make mistakes, often times really big ones...like marriage in general.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

FANTASY RAPE Posted: 7/5/2009 1:47:55 PM
Open minds, open hearts. The 'high ground' isn't difficult to achieve, just believe it, do it/live it. In my case I'm a horribly pedantic person, or have been in my life, but I've also been chatting around these things before there was an internet- 21 years to be exact. I've seen a lot, most of it the same after 2 decades.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 67 (view)

men's habits.... Posted: 7/5/2009 1:45:46 PM
Lingerie- personally I like even more clothing. I'm a believer that more is less. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy naked women as much as the next heterosexual guy, but it's just my thing. It's the hint, the tease of something which gets us going, the thoughts of what may be waiting for us. This also proves that sex and sexual connection with a partner is more in the mind than what the body does. I like it when She puts on a show of slowly removing her pants/panties, but I'm also fond of 'inconvenient' sex- when it's the least practical I'm the most turned on. heh. As for masturbation, porn- I've slowed it down lately, I was 3-4 times a day, with the first time being roughly an hour or so session, usually after working out. I have a flexible schedule, so my day permits such things. As stated I have slowed it down to once a week- more sex getting in the way, heh.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

FANTASY RAPE Posted: 7/5/2009 1:40:16 PM
Oh lord- you guys realize he may have met the girl on PoF, or another site, and simply hasn't updated his account here? Good lord folks, some of ya'll are more pedantic in ways that blow even me away.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

When should I tell him I'm a virgin? Posted: 7/5/2009 1:26:15 PM
Maybe have some nonwarming sexual lubricating gel handy just in case. If it's a bit tight and painful ask him to slap some on and slow it down a bit Something about this line just got the song "Strokin'" stuck in my head, the part where he goes "stroke it Clarence Carter, but don't stroke so fast, if my stuff ain't tight enough you can stick it up my ah ha ha!" Don't blame me. /hide

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

FANTASY RAPE Posted: 7/5/2009 1:14:10 PM
Mine likes it when I hold her throat rather forcefully during sex, but being careful not to apply too much pressure. And since I like doing this from behind, it can be nice for me too. Being caught and watched- nice. There used to be a place, probably still there, in Houston which lets you watch people have sex, or you can have sex in a room and let people watch you. The cover was $15, towels and whatnots provided in the rooms. Basically 1 price free for all. Or you might just try getting a room in a public area, like downtown, open the shades and lean her up (front side facing window) against the window for a warm up. Heh, who knows- maybe we're seeing the same gal :)

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 91 (view)

A question for you serious-minded men... Posted: 7/5/2009 1:07:02 PM
You DO know that "modicum" means only a little bit? So you just said you only have a small amount of intelligence, which to me means you are not intelligent. Tell me 'this isn't how we do it in Philly', I'll ask what you mean and why it matters. Sorry, I'm just reminded of Diane Keaton in Manhattan when I read your line there. hehe

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 53 (view)

How important is money? Posted: 7/5/2009 12:41:59 PM
You don't see many men w/ executive level income looking for or being w/ women from significantly lower income levels. Trophy wives, the concept thereof, is still viable in our society. Women with social backing, but no real finances of their own. And some of it may be regional- here in the South it's considered the norm for women to be fair and helpless at home while Mr.Man earns everything for them. It's a bad notion, but things take time to change. Always treat the person you're with as you would want to be treated in a relationship.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Is it wrong to want to get your own back..?? Posted: 7/5/2009 12:38:34 PM
Revenge, or the feeling of wanting it, is ok to some degree, but it solves nothing, helps nothing, contributes nothing but negativity to someone, and hurts your spirit. Move on. Move on.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 51 (view)

How important is money? Posted: 7/5/2009 12:36:41 PM
Er. Um. Actually if you look it was the first response to the OP that I commented on. Not the OP. And what about the line "I've never had anyone pay my way in life" is a lie? You make a bold assumption about someone...or do you know them? I appreciate the fact you confused "She" with the OP who is male, and I appreciate the fact you didn't validate anything you stated, but felt the need to tear me down, and I appreciate the fact that you were not the quoted person (again, post #2) and then tried to suggest it was you. Read what you type prior to hitting send, please folks. Make sure it's not word-salad (and please, for the love of whatever, google that term, Vannili I fear you might suffer from it). Sorry, Vannili, you're just wrong in this instance.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Is Intercourse or Oral more Intimate? Posted: 7/5/2009 12:32:15 PM
I've always felt, and this is personal of course, the most intimate is intercourse with me on top, her on her belly lying down, and my arm around her neck+kissing neck/face/etc. Buuuut maybe I'm just weird like that.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

When should I tell him I'm a virgin? Posted: 7/5/2009 12:30:34 PM
Don't say a word about it ahead of time...as he's about to insert his penis, tell him to go slow because it's your first time. Now I would have a problem with that. Good way to sour the mood in my book, haha. I've never been one of those 'virgin hunter' guys, I've always been more interested in women with experience, and as such I tend to date around my age and older.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Using a phone during sex? Is this really bad? Posted: 7/5/2009 12:25:34 PM
Not much opinion to be shared on this- it's obviously offensive, unless they're the sort of couple who watches TV/movies while having sex, or plays video games while having sex, thus making a txt during sex not a far stretch. Clearly they're not.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Actual Dating amongst under 25 Posted: 7/5/2009 12:18:52 PM
Take on some group activities in your area to A) interact with people, B) practice talking with people, possibly members of the opposite sex, C) stay active and help build some character/personality, D) maybe meet someone to date. You'll build confidence in 'doing' things, being social. I'm on a dog trip today so I'll compare it to how we socialize dogs with people- you let your dog be around people a lot, it gets used to them and stops barking. Same with us- interact more, confidence/comfort grows, ta-da.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 40 (view)

The forum and potential dates Posted: 7/5/2009 12:12:42 PM
1) Has anyone been called-out for what they said in the forums by someone they were talking with? Yes, thus I'm on this account. ...(figure it out) But I've never met anyone after a forum posting. We're so spread out over the world I'm not sure how possible that would be exactly, rather, I never see anyone from my own area posting except in regional forums, and those are in regards to PoF Parties.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

How important is money? Posted: 7/5/2009 12:08:32 PM
Ok guys and girls, How important are financial matters to you. If this guy/girl that you are going out with and things are clicking really good, you definitely see a future there except maybe they've gone through a very rough time financially. Would this bother you? What would be your response to that? Now for the OPs question! My view has always been that each party needs to hold their own. If they have debt- it's their debt. If they can't afford something, then something isn't had. But never should finances/materialism mingle with emotional contentment. Not many people can keep these things separated. Society teaches lays out for us a plan on how a relationship is supposed to work, it even shows us what sorts of things we should consume, and how we should display our affection- by spending. So it's no wonder people mix the 2. One has nothing to do with the other. One has nothing to do with the other. One has nothing to do with the other. I would keep it simple, straight, and just speak with the person about it. I'm not suggesting, mind you, that you shouldn't shower the person with gifts (if that's your bag), or go on expensive holidays (if that's your thing also), but that each person should be responsible for only their finances. Women I date have no business, no right, to worry over my money unless for some reason I leave them high/dry at a restaurant (presuming they're not taking me out anyway), and vice versa. It's tempting, I know, that if your partner has significant debt to want to help pay it off. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't you dare do it. I've done it. 32K worth of it, which I paid over a period of ~4 years. She had entered our relationship with the debt (20K worth), and kept increasing it to the 32K. Mind you, I was aware of it, and when out with her tried to be mindful that she would use her credit/debt card rather than a credit cards. I did offer her advice on consolidating the debt and taking a minor credit hit. This person, despite having their debt wiped clean, continued to rack it up. I would no longer enable the person. When she figured out I would no longer "help" (as she put it, I ought to 'help' with her finances) pay her debt which I was not contributing to, and despite my over-the-top wiping of the slate earlier, she decided to find someone who would. We were so happy till that point, 3 years of solid happiness. Funny how happy people can be when money is removed. Mind you- the She in question, at the time, made around $65K a year, and was still in her 20s. She left me for someone making ~$100K a year, who offered her the same credit advice (which she finally took), but showered her with gifts, vacations, etc so that she never had to spend her money. I'm no slouch financially, but I don't flaunt it, or waste it needlessly, and I never equate my money with emotion- society has us trained like dogs in a sense. A dog gets a treat from it's master and thinks 'love'/happiness. We get an expensive gift and think love/happiness. It's sad. Basically she wanted the 'traditional' dream, but didn't realize it. She wanted to be taken care of in a material sense, rather than an emotional one. Find out now, draw some lines in the sand with your partner, or don't be surprised if her financial issues overwhelm you. I learned to be up front- I don't care what they do for a living, or how they live. Their money is theirs, their debt is theirs. I want to spend my days with them, not their wallets.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 46 (view)

How important is money? Posted: 7/5/2009 11:49:53 AM
Well I'm financially in the toilet, so yeah, he's going to have to be a good money maker. I've never had anyone pay my way in life so that would be cool, I could be one of these gold diggers that whiners are always crying about! ...and thinking about what we say before we say it counts too. Wow. Just...wow. This is a motherload to deconstruct. The diatribe one could go off on due to this would be amazing. Alas I'm still stunned and shocked someone would say that, even if they meant to be 'funny' via their admission. Wow. Wow.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 33 (view)

Excessive marriages?? Posted: 7/5/2009 11:44:59 AM
My mother was married 7 times, 5 6 and 7 were for money. 1-4 was for happiness, well to some degree. The funniest thing though, my mother, now well into her 60s, and I was driving through her old 'stomping grounds' from when I was a child. She thought she saw someone she dated from back in those days, someone she was wild about, someone who kept her the happiest she had ever known in her life. Someone who was great with me. She started acting like a little girl, worrying if he saw her, was her make up ok, etc. She left him because he couldn't/wouldn't support her. On their on she was fine, he was fine, but she wanted the 'traditional'. She dated this guy for years. She gave up true happiness for a series of failed relationships, each marriage lasting a year or less. And countless boyfriends. The final husband, #7, was a con-man. He put his business in her name, the house, cars/trucks, the boat, credit cards, all in her name. When he was arrested while renewing his license for evasion of child support (what- he had children?) it all came tumbling down. She had to declare bankruptcy, and since she had given up work for #6 (no wife of mine will work!) she had to start from ground 0 taking crap jobs. So, yes, to me it would matter if someone was married so many times- I would question why they jumped so quickly into these marriages, what were they really after. You need to figure it out, keeping in mind that no one is going to admit "I was after financial happiness".

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Needy People Posted: 7/5/2009 11:38:01 AM
Limit your interactions with her, have a discussion with the situation first with your friend. I'm sure it's not that you don't like her, but that she's come to rely on you too much. You've enabled her, so partially you may be to blame for her actions/reliance. And finally, you both are young, realize that while it may be annoying, it just is right now. Still- have that talk with your friend.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 84 (view)

A question for you serious-minded men... Posted: 7/5/2009 11:12:29 AM
No, I find it gives a broader range of things to chat about, and an increased likelihood of a chortle due to some overly erudite crack. But no what I've found more often than not is that women with any 'modicum of intelligence' have chips on their shoulders. I'm not saying you do, OP, only in my experience. As such, they have this urge, this need, to display it to the world. But erudition only enthralls me so far: without experience, or even emotional/spiritual intelligence She is nothing more than a book, one that usually has a chip on Her shoulder. I believe, too, that women when rejected by men always say they've intimidated the men. It's possible, but speaking for myself, and a few other fellows I know, this is not the case. As stated- in every single case the woman was too self-centered and constantly looking for the next ego boost. I'm not going to recite Omar Khayyam back and forth all day with someone, I don't really care what someones IQ is, and telling me jokes about non-mensa members gets old, as does all of my examples. It's one thing to be intelligent, but without some life experience to back it up you're just a book, and even still, without some emotional control over yourself you may develop the now-cliched 'chip' on your shoulder which is a huge turn-off. It is nice to be able to have a discussion, as they may come up, over something other than the latest reality TV show, or the next flavor of Doritos, and witty conversation can occur even with the lowest topics of discussion.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 46 (view)

Is this a game, or interest? Posted: 7/4/2009 6:20:57 PM
Well in regards to the stay-the-night example: she wasn't sure about sex (time of the month), or rather my opinion of sex during that time. She asked before finding out. Anyway, I understand what you're saying, believe me, I tend to use online dating services to their fullest- I'm more than capable of conversing in email and sorting out a slew of...mess before I even met a person. If I were just going to use dating services online as a meat-catalog, like an extension of meeting people offline- without finding out anything about them, asking some questions, getting to know them a bit prior to meeting, then it would be different. In my youth I first got onto matchmaking chat lines, back pre-internet, when they were 32 line BBSes and just a fun way to speak to people. Back in those days there were no photos of the users, people would meet weekly at some venue, and you had to rely more on personality (or a fake one, as the case may have been with some), and took care of whom it was you were interacting with prior to actually meeting them. Of course back then 'online' dating wasn't the same cross-section of society it is today. People were, to say the least, far more intelligent (you had to A) know what a modem was, B) know how to manually dial it, and that's for starters). I'm in my mid-30s now, that was some 21 years ago in my early teens. I digress- in those days, after time when I met a few people off of them (mind you, not my first choice in those days, sure people were more intelligent, but well, there were some physical interests to accommodate) I tried dating multiples. It just never worked out for me. I felt overextended, exhausted, and like I really wasn't putting forth effort in people whom I probably could have developed something in. I suppose that's it: I believe that something just need to develop. Be built. Sparks are nice, and they do happen, but frequently sparks can be a facade. When the sparks fade if nothing was built, it crumbles quickly. So I learned to sort through folks, some I would let go in a date or 3, and if I was seeing you a month or more, then it was obvious that I was interested and trying. So, when I go to a store, to use your analogy, before I step foot in the store to make a purchase I've already researched it, thoroughly online. You are right- people do spend more time on researching a car, and in my opinion it shows how out of whack society may have gotten. I believe some balance is the key, but everything we're taught suggests otherwise. I tend to place more value on emotional and spiritual contentment than on material/transient things in life. I see people daily, though, confused, blaming other people for their lack of happiness. Life, as they see it, has cheated them. Perhaps it has- we're teaching people the wrong values, and so while people become important in society as it relates to work/taxes, they cheat themselves out of an identity, out of a life, out of any spiritual fulfillment- all for 'things'. I'll get off my soapbox. Hopefully that wasn't too...word-salad-y.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 44 (view)

Is this a game, or interest? Posted: 7/4/2009 4:03:13 PM
Interesting. So Womaninprogress: You seem to understand where I'm coming from, and especially about my usual track record with how people I see respond, but what do you make of the communication thing- just as you say: not quick to warm up? I've been thinking that our usual date venue is hindering some of that warming up process, we haven't done much activity based dating, which is odd for me as normally I'm a do-er. Also, sometimes she'll say things then renege on them quietly. Example- one night we're at the bar and she's telling me she wants me to spend the night (actually stay for once/breakfast, you know). We eventually get back to her place, what happens happens, we can't stop touching each other, it's pushing 6orsoAM Sunday morning, so it was suggested I leave (and even then we couldn't stop). I can understand to some degree- she can't very well be waking up at 5pm then go right back to sleep for work the next day (she's rather religious about work), but at the same time little things like that throw me a bit. This sort of saying something, then backing out on it gave me strong deja vu from earlier times: I've done that sort of thing. Had women over, wined, slept with, then asked them to leave (of course, I could stop, easily, touching them). I was a different person then. It makes me wonder if she's experiencing that at my expense. Finally, Womaninprogress- It's my personal 'deal', I just won't see multiple people at once. I feel it's a game (it is, irregardless of how it's spun, you're playing one party against the other to see who comes out on top), I feel ashamed that I did those sorts of things when I was younger, and I'd rather take the time to get to know 1 person fully before deciding yes/no. I'm still a proponent of the "Last Date" ideal. Mysteriosa- any ideas in regards to communication? What's your take on the example cited above? Womaninprogress stated what I've been feeling/seeing. I guess I'm looking for some idea to open her up a bit more, though 'doing' something (what with our schedules, mostly hers though) it can be tricky.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 40 (view)

Is this a game, or interest? Posted: 7/4/2009 1:50:33 PM
What do you do and would it encourage someone who is unsure about herself to be revealing? I usually start off with small talk, asking how her day went, etc. If we're in one of her 'comfort' zones then she's chatty chatty. If she's focused on some chore then she'll naturally wind down. I've broached her family, job, cats, etc. I'll discuss something about myself, ask a reciprocal question. The problem is she doesn't give much in the way of lead, or cue for conversation, or joking around. I've discussed some of her favorite things with her, and again depending on where she is when the convo takes place, she's either chatty or dried up. It sounds, Mysteriosa, as if perhaps she simply doesn't know how to open up to people. Or she just isn't interested. I love conversation from both ends- listening and talking, and as stated previously I'm just not at all used to folks who are that quiet/shy/or uninterested. Still, she sees me. Who knows. Ran Man: The world isn't black and white, and most of your cliched and youthful suggestions have been offered in one form or another. Thank you. I don't play games, and I don't expect the people I see to play them. If she wants to indulge in it then she'll find me unwilling to play along, and yes I will move on. Your 'advice' is something right out of the 'Golden Book for Big Boys: Women'. It's trite. Please consider garnering some experience prior to passing on the 'broski' protips on dating and game playing. To recap- I'm not making any extra efforts as previously mentioned well over a week or 2 ago, I'm just letting her get comfortable. Most of our dates thus far revolve around drinks/food/bars/movies, and a lot of that is simply due to her schedule. Our next one will be something more fun and activity oriented (not that hitting the bars and seeing her friends isn't fun). We'll see how that works out.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Where are the decent men that are looking for more than just sex.... Posted: 7/4/2009 8:17:18 AM
You mean thinking with our heads in the same way you did before you posted a gender specific diatribe which could easily apply to either gender? I'm not sure you're ready to date if you really believe such things. That women are the only ones capable of such thought, and us poor men too dumb and sex addled to think properly. No, you should spend some time offline. Introspection does a spirit good. Come back when you're healthy. Yes, I know you were venting, but even at my worst I never blame the opposite sex for things which could quite possibly be my fault as well. We don't even know why you're venting, except it seems to suggest that a man tried to introduce sex into a relationship way too early, and this upset you. There are so many factors you haven't begun to describe, and even still, I'm a firm believer in we all need to accept some personal responsibility, and yes, that means sometimes for the behavior of the other person. We do teach people how to interact with us. Read a book, seek professional help, then come back.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Why is there such a difference between men and women? Posted: 7/3/2009 9:42:54 PM
Use the search function- there have been at least 2 threads like this in the forums in the past 24 hours, they get old. Sorry, not trying to be mean, but I already sound like a broken record in most posts, this would be just another.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 33 (view)

Astrology Posted: 7/3/2009 7:29:04 PM
Well, at least you clearly read all the posts before letting us know how stupid we are, and offering your own insight on the subject. Thanks. Protip- not everyone posting believed in it (hurr durr?)

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

Is this a game, or interest? Posted: 7/3/2009 6:04:57 PM
Why do you expect her to chase you? Because I've never dated someone where it wasn't the case, and I'm not suggesting I don't show interest in the people I've dated, but I've never been in a situation where it wasn't blindingly obvious. And I mean like looking into the Sun obvious. That being said- it's been a month now, we have dates, fool around, etc. She has a problem talking, not communicating, but talking still: if she's not in her comfort zone she clams up. I know the advice incoming will be something to the effect that I need to make her comfortable around me, but I'm thinking maybe, just maybe, she has forgotten how to interact with people she may (just maybe maybe) have an interest in. If we're out at a bar of hers, shes open. At her place- mostly open. In bed- wide open (no pun intended). I can bring up a myriad of topics, discuss her life, what's going on in her world, etc. She doesn't take queues or ask questions. Never has. So sure, it could be she doesn't have enough interest yet, I could agree with that, but if she doesn't open up how does she think interest develops? I've always found communication to be very seductive. So she could be using me for sex, or just someone to practice date. I really don't think about this as much as one might think- I keep rather busy. I just stumbled in here and saw so many posts since my last one. I'm still resigned to just riding it out and seeing where things go.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Being picked up at work Posted: 7/3/2009 5:45:10 PM
Never date from work. I'll do just about anything, break many taboo's, but not that one. Too close to home, and work is just the last place I want trouble. Maybe if the 2 folks are older, more stable, then sure, but it's just something I experienced in a bad way when I was around your age and learned- never again.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

The Tumour Story... Posted: 7/3/2009 5:18:21 PM
Use PoF better next time. PoF and other dating sites are powerful tools which allow you to discover some crucial bits of information about the other person prior to meeting with them. It's up to you to decide how much you want to ask, and what is most important. Sadly, most people use PoF, and other dating sites, as a meat catalog- nice photo, send 1, maybe 2 small emails and request a meeting.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

LET'S TRY A DIFFERENT APPROACH Posted: 7/3/2009 5:14:07 PM
OP- you're trying to compare a smell to a size. Apples/oranges. Your presentation is flawed. Try this: what would a woman do if the man had a smelly crotch? It can happen. And alternatively (for your other inane question): what would the man do if the woman had a gaping vagina? By the way, OP, I realize you might not be a frequent contributor to the forums, but please observe some netiquette- caps locks are blinding. Please stop it.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 315 (view)

Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay? Posted: 7/3/2009 5:07:13 PM
... I'm not sure where to begin with your...statement. First, good people, not just men, are subjective. Meaning- you need to define what 'good' is. I can assure you that your idea of good, or even perfect, won't match everyone else, and while I can do that, I can equally assure you that most people from my experiences have been so fouled by society forcing false-ideals of what 'good' people (men/women) are, that they'll never find it, and never truly be happy until they break away from those falsehoods and start thinking for themselves. Beyond that, you really haven't made any statement worth commenting on. What is the world coming to in what way? How can it not be true? It's a question you asked, not an answer you provided. I suggest, strongly, you take a deep look inside, think about what you're really after in life- money/material happiness, emotional/spiritual growth and happiness, what? Then come back to us.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 29 (view)

Astrology Posted: 7/3/2009 5:02:15 PM
It's a novelty, like reading a fortune cookie, playing the lotto, and depending on ones viewpoint, even religion. People take from it, or see in it, what they want, what they most identify with, and tend to ignore the rest. That can be said for most of life though- why 2 people can go through the same experiences and come out with different version on how it happened and how it ultimately affected them. That said, I think, too, there are people who hold this novelty up and keep it always in mind. It explains why on dating sites we always give our Astrological signs (or they ask for it to display on our profile). Even places like Myspace have this as part of their basic registration. I don't think it's healthy when it becomes more than a novelty, something cute or fun to think about on the side. I won't lie, I own Linda Goodman's 'Love Signs', and a few other books. They're cute to read over when you're with someone, seeking some additional bond/connection. Buuuut putting rational thought aside- Being a Pisces I've always been lucky in landing with Scorpios and other fish. They've all been very passionate, very wild affairs. Some have been a rollercoaster from day 1, some took time to develop. My most 'stable' relationships have been with persons not affiliated with a water sign, the astrological 'children'. I've enjoyed the company of Scorpios the best, but in every single case they've been stubborn and willful, and in a few cases having some psychological problems. The fish I've been with, bar none, have all been day dreamers, 2 are artists, and not one could be counted on for anything domestic. But see: am I seeing how things really are, or did I let this novelty taint my image of them? HMMMMMM

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Emotional Connection--Differences in Men and Women. Posted: 7/3/2009 4:52:47 PM
I think it's an outdated concept, and honestly I'm more than a little appalled that someone with your supposed background is trying to propagate this old stereotype. Your post illustrates rather clearly something I frequently bring up- views towards gender relations are very much based upon generation and region. I don't view many differences in sexual relations with women except when going outside of my generation, that is older/much older. Things are growing more egalitarian daily though I suspect it'll be another generation or 2 before some normalization is reached. Enjoy.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Should I or should I not? Posted: 7/2/2009 10:25:01 AM
You're hooked on a feeling with your ex. You need to discover the feeling with other people. Stop limiting yourself to the "old" stuff, and go find the "new" stuff. There really is no other point of view in my opinion- Ignore the ex, move on.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

ed and masturbation Posted: 7/2/2009 10:21:53 AM
ED stands for Erectile Dysfunction. I'm sure the OP didn't come here for the lame jokes.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

ed and masturbation Posted: 7/2/2009 10:11:01 AM
I've been in that spot. It was psychological, and passed after a few weeks/resolving the issue. During those 3 weeks I got proactive and got cialis- it works, too well.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Mistakes Made Posted: 7/2/2009 10:07:49 AM
None of this makes much sense, honestly. Did you not kiss her or something? Did you not pick up the tab? Give us some details which stick in your mind- obviously something is rolling around in your head as to what you think you did/didn't do, so share it with us if you want help.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 178 (view)

Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink? Posted: 7/2/2009 9:59:24 AM
Coming to a US Forum wasnt the best place to get opinions though, i think. US men,..(some) of them believe that anyone expecting anything like a courtesy drink is 'Princess syndrome' 'Entitlement' etc.. and are deathly afraid that if they buy you a drink in return for the one you gave him, that you will be clearing out his bank account and wanting alimony, or whatever other mony they can think of. I'm glad you're so infinitely worldly that you can boldly generalize all men in the U.S. I'm also glad you missed my huge post prior to yours explaining exactly what the OP's problems are, why she didn't really explain enough for any person alive to defend her actions, and why her lack of information does 110% (beyond any doubt) make her appear to be a 'gold digger'. Are there posts here offending women from the U.K.? Do we try to make gender/national stereotypes or prejudge you there? Even worse, you feel comfortable enough to espouse your raw stupidity by blaming men (now all men, shew) rather than seeing such problems as not being gender specific (That means both men AND women do these sorts of things). The only thing, the only thing you got out of my post was in regards to the term lady, and you proudly proclaim its use "here". Good lord you're one of the simplest women I've ever seen post. To recap the facts, which you glided over in your hyper-defense of your gender/the OP: the OP failed to give details, stated that there are no other thought on her mind other than getting a drink...for 30 minutes. Wow. Just wow. The one good thing that forums such as this provide is a way to see how some of you think. You do realize the last 5 posts you've made will show up on your profile, hopefully as a warning buoy for men.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

clarification Posted: 7/2/2009 9:50:13 AM
Well, I didn't ask to delete my account cart blanche, but I did ask if we could reset that thingy about the intimate encounter messages. I've considered just making a new account but I'm not ready to start the WHOLE thing over again. Copying and pasting can be difficult.

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Mistake leads to stigma Posted: 7/2/2009 12:47:48 AM
So you wrote to the admins and explained it was a mistake. You asked if you could delete your tainted account and start over?

Severin78

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Am I being to harsh? Divorced vs. Separated Posted: 7/2/2009 12:23:46 AM
So now you've learned a lesson, you've had an experience. What do you do with the experience? Date who you want to date, but at least make some efforts to use PoF correctly- send emails, build a rapport, then ask them what they mean by "divorce" explaining your story above. Are you someone who just sees a profile, accepts it, likes the photo, and goes on a date? You're not using the tool correctly. PoF is the tool- use it. You have a PhD, so clearly you can count to potato, ask questions in advance- stop entering blindly into situations. If you've had 4 out of 5 guys with this situation, and you haven't learned something by then (clearly you haven't, no offense, but you wouldn't be in the forums if you had), then something is wrong. Use PoF correctly. Use PoF Correctly. In closing- Use PoF Correctly. P.S. Use PoF Correctly.

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