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ThatWhichRemains

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

consent Posted: 7/19/2009 6:45:50 PM
Thanks for the answers. I'll try to summarise them for the show. Just on a side note, I think it's funny that legally someone can't consent if they are drunk; but we regard them as mentally competent otherwise. The defense "but i was really drunk" doesn't stand up if you are being charged for murder, for example. And if not for alcohol, a lot of people would be too inhibited for sex anyway! For the people complaining about the questions, sorry, i didn't write them, and i actually asked the person who called me to provide an example at one point. It'll be interesting to see if they change it on the night, because it isn't very clear. Unfortunately the stat. rape issue is outside the scope of the show; i already checked.

ThatWhichRemains

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

People with disabilities. Posted: 7/19/2009 6:35:44 PM
I state that I'm on a disability pension, because there's simply no point in talking to anyone who can't deal with that. Someone looking for a husband will automatically screen me out, which is fine (I'd love to marry, but it's not practical). I have been told by a friend not to mention it on my profile (she uses it successfully and just doesn't mention her own issues), but I'm pretty bloody-minded. I want a friend, and friends don't give a s**t about that. I want a lover, and a lover has to accept who you are. I want a wife, and am aware I can't have one. So stating I have a disability is a way of saying "here i am! accept me if you dare". What my disabilities are is more personal.

ThatWhichRemains

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

consent Posted: 7/15/2009 12:49:00 AM
I was asked these questions in preparation for a TV show called "Insight" and I'm just curious how other people would answer this. Q:Is consent as simple as yes or no? Q: How do you negotiate your sexual experiences? Q: What are the codes of conduct for casual sex and other sexual encounters?

ThatWhichRemains

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Heya folks, new to this and the whole dating scene Posted: 6/28/2009 8:26:22 AM
(and I'm 40, eek!) Not having a lot of luck here, kind of thought just finding a lass to share a beverage and a chat wouldn't be so difficult, but i guess every0ne wants True Love (i know i do, but also that it's not yet an option). Still, I live in hope. Ideally, the person would also like walking, as I would love to chat and walk about hornsby, or at least someplace i can get to from here via public transport. I was sick for years (no it wasn't contagious, long story), and i'm trying to build up my strength again. I'm mildly disabled, and currently have way too much time on my hands. Next year, if all goes to plan, i'll be flat out studying, but in the meanwhile, time is dragging on! Besides, according to Catalyst, exercising in a group encourages the growth of new brain cells, and solo does not! :)

ThatWhichRemains

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 33 (view)

Are you afraid of spiders? If so, why? Posted: 6/28/2009 8:08:05 AM
I am afraid of them because i was bitten by a funnelweb that hid out in my boot. The venom travelled up to my crotch in a slow and painful way, but didn't go further, and the doctor decided it was a good thing i had shaken that boot because it probably expended most of it's venom biting the sole. I have no trouble with little, non-poisonous types, and regret having to kill them when housecleaning; but the sort that can kill you freak me out.

ThatWhichRemains

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Women/Porn/Preferences Posted: 6/28/2009 8:04:42 AM
I agree that unscripted porn is the best. Fake sounds, fake boobs, stupid plots... bleah! My favourite is that done by amateurs, with a sense of intimacy. Although i did see a short tutorial on how to make a woman cum which was intensely erotic, because the muscular movements were... convincing. I've been told by doctors that women cannot ejaculate. Well, this lass should have won a prize for special effects! 8-O

ThatWhichRemains

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 1081 (view)

Whats an instant turn on for you Posted: 6/27/2009 5:48:55 PM
I'm not ranking these things because they all work * intelligence. I've found myself swept away by a women discussing 3d molecular modelling! * humour ... so long as it's not at my expense :) * slutty clothes... very effective and very wrong... i'd be unhappy with those outfits if we were in a commited relationship... except if were in the house together and she pretended to have broken in... and the rest will have to remain a mystery! * athletic bodies ... don't have one, and my ideal partner probably doesn't either, but they work for me. I remember being astounded by the buttocks of a tight-rope walker. I'd never really cared too much about that part of the anatomy until that point. It was probably a good thing that she was high above me or i might have gotten myself into serious trouble poetic yet dirty language .. if i watch porn, the sound is off because i can't stand the repetitious crudities. That said, i love it if a woman describes her arousal to me. gentleness ... bit of a cross-over to romantic feelings tho'. If i see a woman i'm attracted to anyway doing something kind, to me or anyone, bang! I want her! some one who makes me feel safe. If i don't feel safe, I want out, right away. I've never understood the attraction people have to evil. To quote a famous philosopher, "HULK SMASH!" individuality... that's not the same as intolerance or elitism people :) If you like things i don't, don't compromise or pretend that you do. That's not the same as being brutal however. exposure... i love it when a woman manipulates the amount i see without remarking on it, making seeing more than I expected or thinking "did i really see that!" Woah! If she makes me feel guilty about it: "eyes up here, ya know!" then I bail. shared interests... i've had a few conversations with women i've met in bookshops and libraries that made me want it right there and then. That feeling of "oh... i thought women weren't interested in science fiction/computers/gaming/whatever" and then you find she's more into it than you and has a liquid nitrogen cooled rig with a portable fusion reactor, and every time it reboots it tears a hole in the spacetime continuum... well, at that point, my brain sublimes into plasma. gentle unexpected kisses to my neck harder kisses there when i'm warned up french kisses that take me totally by surprise. lots of kinkiness i won't mention in a public space :-] These are the instant ones, there's many that work over long term (e.g. fidelity) but I've tried to stay on topic.

ThatWhichRemains

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 46 (view)

Loners vs. lonely Posted: 6/27/2009 5:16:23 PM
I find I am both. I find crowds extremely stressful, and can retreat into my home for days at a time... but I'm always reaching out, trying to make friendships and other types of relationships. I am socially awkward though, always had "ant-social" on my report card at school. It wasn't that I wanted to be alone per se; I was and am a non-conformist, and simply don't share the interests most have. I really can't get over the fascination with watching sport; why don't people try playing it instead? We listen to other peoples songs and don't sing our own. Are we ashamed of being unable to live up to impossible standards? My body limits me somewhat; i'm mildly physically disabled due to my back and other matters; but I really crave someone to go walking with. I was watching on Catalyst a special on neurogenesis, where they studied mice and their brains. Apparently a mouse who exercises alone doesn't regrow brain tissue; exercise in company does the job. They want to extend this to alzheimer's patients and stroke victims and such, but all of us can benefit from this, since all of us lose more cells than we gain, and yet such a simple thing as social exercise can make a difference! I've enjoyed rich pleasures on my own; computer games, novels, seeing a movie that no-one else i know is interested in ... I've hated parties and family gatherings... I was even diagnosed with asperger's syndrome by one psychiatrist (I think she was wrong) because of that behaviour... but the best times of my life have been spent in the company of a good friend or lover.

ThatWhichRemains

Joined: 6/20/2009

Msg: 51 (view)

what is difference between Friend with benefits and sexual abuse? Posted: 6/27/2009 5:01:16 PM
I agree with this. I was in such a relationship, and while i wanted it to be more, she didn't, and eventually life took us in different directins, but I'd still regard it as a very positive relationship, and I sometimes wish I could have a FWB again. I don't think it's anything like abuse. I think that all relationships have the potential to be hurtful, but FWB is not inherently worse than any other.

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