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908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 29 (view)

A Guide To Relationship Brownie Points Posted: 7/14/2009 11:15:26 AM
I like the answer "Anything else - 20"

908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

Justifying Cheating? Posted: 7/1/2009 2:51:11 AM
Aside from the chronic emotional handicapped, spouses cheat because needs are not getting met in the marriage and they aren't in love. And not necessarily sexual needs. Money, companionship, conversation, affection, spouse keeping themselves attractive, etc. I am the last guy to condone it, trust me, but you don't cheat on someone you are in love with, and it doesn't happen in good strong marriages.

908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 66 (view)

Fellas, how would you honestly react to this? Posted: 6/30/2009 12:57:49 PM
I would suavely slide her my business card and say with a laugh, "I don't want to get you fired here. Give me a call."

908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

A Guide To Relationship Brownie Points Posted: 6/29/2009 7:07:34 PM
Any insight into the Mind of Women should be well received.....

908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 145 (view)

The IQ in relationships Posted: 6/29/2009 4:38:14 PM
I think it is really a function of being conversationally paired more than anything. IQs aside, if you don't have areas of common interest to talk about, whether it is the Mets or a charity you donate time to or travel or politics or whatever, you aren't going to have a relationship that will stand the test of time.

908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 134 (view)

The IQ in relationships Posted: 6/29/2009 11:49:50 AM
There is a lot to this. I'm a Mensa member and my ex was probably a tad below average, so we had maybe a 40 plus point difference. Communication was somewhat difficult. The old saw "different interests"... Hey, she had a lot of other great qualities, don't get me wrong, I loved her, etc. But a big gap in intellingence is eventually going to mean a big gap in communication...which means a crippled relationship at best.

908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 122 (view)

What does it take for you to be monogamous? Posted: 6/29/2009 8:33:22 AM
Well..... First off EVERYBODY says they'd kick their partner to the curb immediately. (and I did for a few weeks). Different when reality is staring you in the face with kids and finances and her lawyer telling her to move back in with cops and your lawyer saying that the first night she is in she will call the cops and get you kicked out for DV and she is suicidal and remorseful and...you get the drift. In most cases, kicking a cheating wife to the curb means kicking yourself to the curb....the guy will be the one out of the house in most states. Anyway, after your guts get off the floor in six months, it is better to proceed calmly and civilly with your kids and finances in mind. It is just business at that point. lol....do i come off like an expert? :-)

908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

A Guide To Relationship Brownie Points Posted: 6/28/2009 11:29:09 PM
My personal favorite is "Do I look fat?" .

908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 120 (view)

What does it take for you to be monogamous? Posted: 6/28/2009 9:36:20 PM
I think almost anyone in a lousy relationship is susceptible. My ex is the one that went off the reservation in our M, but, could have gone the other way, I guess. We weren't happy. You get over 40 happiness is the Holy Grail. I think that once needs are going unmet in a relationship, it is very hard not to look outside. Remember, affairs (I think especially for women) usually don't start at sex. They start with someone paying them attention, listening, respecting their opinions, flattering, acting thrilled to see them.....yada yada. Usually a good married person having their needs met in a relationship will have walls up against dangerous "friendships" like that. But the initial steps above seem innocent, tiny....then it goes incremental and suddenly you are kissing a guy in a car in a restaurant parking lot. Doesn't mean you were a bad person neccessarily. It meant you were unhappy and needy and weak.

908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

A Guide To Relationship Brownie Points Posted: 6/28/2009 4:23:55 PM
Hi! I'm new here but I thought I'd post this on-topic piece that cracked me up.... riv ======================== A Guide To Relationship Brownie Points A Night Out: You take her to a movie.......................................+2 You take her to a movie she likes.............................+4 You take her to a movie you hate..............................+6 You take her to a movie you like..............................-2 It's called Death Cop 3........................................-3 Which features Cyborgs that eat humans........................-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.........-15 Her Birthday: You take her out to dinner.................................... 0 You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar..........+1 Okay, it is a sports bar......................................-2 And it's all-you-can-eat night................................-3 It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is Painted the colors of your favorite team...... -10 Simple Duties: You make the bed..............................................+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1 You throw the bedspead over your lit cigar....................-100 You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ +1 You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5 You pummel it with a six iron.................................+10 It's her cat..................................................-40 Social Engagements: Party: You stay by her side the entire party......................... 0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy..-2 Named Tiffany.................................................-4 Tiffany is a dancer...........................................-6 With breast implants..........................................-18 Your Physique: You develop a noticeable pot belly............................-15 You develop a noticeable pot belly and exercise to get rid of it...................+10 You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts............................... -30 You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."...............-800 The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?" You hesitate in responding....................................-10 You reply, "Where?"...........................................-35 Any other response............................................-20 Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned expression................. 0 You listen, for over 30 minutes................................+5 You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV..+100 She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep............-200 You buy a family pet.........+10 The kids don't like it........0 The kids are afraid of it....-10 It's a chimp.................-50 who smokes cigars.............-75 It kills her cat.............-100 You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5 You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0 When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1 Handtowel...............-15 Draperies...............-25 You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5 in the snow...................................................+8 but return with beer..........................................-5 and no liners.................................................-25 A Night Out With the Boys: Go with a pal.................................................-5 The pal is happily married....................................-4 Or frighteningly single.......................................-7 And he drives a Mustang.......................................-10 With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED).................-15

908rivendell

Joined: 6/22/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

What the??? Posted: 6/28/2009 4:13:52 PM
(this is my first post here) DG -- not sure what your goal is for the relationship, but if the mutual communication and honesty goes off the rails that early and for that reason, maybe you are better off, huh? :-)

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