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Thread: Is 74 years too old an age to become a father?

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Is 74 years too old an age to become a father? Posted: 3/29/2010 5:57:35 PM
My guess is like this. He's 75 and has a 41 y/o wife. Odds are he's rich and she's boinking the gardener - who is more likely to be the father. Credit his virility to being " he is banana's" .

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby? Posted: 3/29/2010 5:44:51 PM
One bone I have to pick: it's the woman's choice when she decides to have the abortion: the man has no say so. A little off topic but : Ultimately, one person has to choose. If it took 3 people having sex to produce a child , the laws may be different. While men may get the sh!tty end of that stick, it is the way it is. But in fairness - Men do not have to put their lives on hold. Men do not have to give up drinking , smoking , eating poorly, living poorly, watching their boobs explode , their asses widen , their skin stretching ...etc... get the point. Allow men to say " I want you to have an abortion" , and it places the onus on the woman to ensure all aspects of birth control. So , while it may not be entirely fair to a man , that a woman has the ultimate decision on terminating a pregnancy , it is more unfair to a woman to allow men an equal vote.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby? Posted: 3/29/2010 4:51:41 PM
Tell her the only way you are going is if you get to stitch her vagina closed with indestructible thread after its done. Since your question was "How do I tell a friend I can't go .... " , that is a pretty damned good answer. And as far as your friend that she is dating - I guess it really depends on how he feels about children vs. abortions. If he doesn't want children .... it seems rather pointless to open your mouth because your belief's are not the same as hers. If he want's children, perhaps you should let him know. Either way, it will likely cost you a friendship. While I personally feel that abortion is a poor form of birth control, I agree with erasersedge that having multiple abortions is probably better than having 6 unwanted children. Although I personally don't like abortion, I do support the fact that it is pro-choice, and that it is ultimately the womans choice solely. It is her body, therefore her choice. Having 1, having 6, having 600 - it reflects her right to choose. That is what pro-choice is about. And you have the right to NOT be supportive of her decisions.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

comman-law wife charged with assault Posted: 3/19/2010 7:54:00 PM
Dealing with an alcoholic is a challenging experience. Here is the biggest factor - Does she want help ? Does she want/is she willing to quit ? If she doesn't .... you're beat. Either accept things as they are .... or start packing things up. There are some excellent books on alcoholism , but they all say the same thing - you cannot help someone who doesn't want help. If she is willing to seek help - then you have a hard choice. It is not an easy road. If she isn't willing to seek help, you may as well start the packing now. Love isn't going to hold things together, and your quality of life will be miserable. Not to mention what you are putting your kids thru. Feel free to email me on this.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

funny kid quotes Posted: 3/17/2010 7:00:19 PM
I'm not picking my nose ... I'm just scratching it from the inside

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Easter Bunny Posted: 3/15/2010 4:21:41 PM
I'm a redneck so I guess my daughter will get a nice traditional dinner. Easter bunny is sooooooooo tasty !!!!

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

need advice about toddlers and glasses Posted: 3/14/2010 7:01:51 PM
Its how I read when I'm tired. I never noticed it , my ( now ex) wife did. I got my eyes retested - still 20/20. I was told that closing the eye was an autonomous reaction, the brain just takes over. If you feel the diagnosis on the vision issues ( not cross or lazy ) is or may be incorrect , get a second opinion.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

no other parent in picture Posted: 3/14/2010 6:05:27 PM
Since the dating portion was off-base .... I'll add "Does not want children" - many male single parents ( not all ) will read it as "Does not want children" not " Does not want to bear more children"

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

no other parent in picture Posted: 3/13/2010 8:02:56 PM
I wouldn't say that you are the odd man out, there are many single parents that have their child(ren) every weekend, both male and female. Your profile reads Dating, which seems like its more casual companionship you're seeking.Casual dating, but not having weekends free and clear could certainly turn similar seeking people away. If its casual you are seeking, perhaps you should mention in your profile that you are a full-time mother. At least everyone is on the same page from the onset.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

need advice about toddlers and glasses Posted: 3/13/2010 7:38:46 PM
I bet its frustrating. And to me, it seems odd that prior to "waking up one morning", his eyesight seemed fine. How does he react with one eye closed or covered?

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

Dating with Kids Posted: 3/13/2010 9:28:23 AM
and feel to that people need to see you for the person that you are and not labelling you as a single parents you still are a person after all. Are you serious ? How about not labelling me as "male" , or not labelling me as a "smoker" , how about not labelling me as being 40 ... like really ... if you are an active participant in your childs life, and you aren't seeing someone , then you are a single parent. Not mentioning it , is nothing short of "bait and switch". Going out with someone on a date without them knowing about something like this reeks of desperation for simple human contact. My daughter is a big part of my life - accept it, or don't. Children are a factor in choosing to date someone - because they do change the dynamics of the potential relationship. Are you really that desperate to go on a date that you feel its necessary to exclude this information about yourself ??

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

need advice about toddlers and glasses Posted: 3/13/2010 8:43:27 AM
EDIT: I would also go for a second expert opinion about his eyesight. Just in case. It's really important, so I think it's worth being 100% sure. will wearing these glasses correct his muscle problem, will it correct the root of the problem, or only allow him to see? Is he stuck with glasses for the rest of his life? As a child I had a lazy eye, and at the time glasses were likely going to be required. Our optometrist suggested first trying eye exercises where I would keep my head still , and look around the room, using one eye , then the other, then both , trying to find different objects my mother would tell me to find. ) A wooden spoon works well for a makeshift eyepatch. Interestingly, out of a family of 6, I am the only one who does not need to wear glasses. 37 years after I was told I would likely require them for life, my eyesight is still considered perfect. My eye still has its lazy moments ( particularly when I'm tired ) , but its effectively cured, and I question if the exercises contributed to the fact that my eyesight is better than everyone else in my family. Would I get a 2nd opinion ? certainly! And would I ask about different training techniques ! Most definately! It worked for me.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

would you call CAS on a friend? Posted: 3/12/2010 3:39:51 PM
If something happens to this child because you haven't reported your VALID concerns, would you be able to forgive yourself? Exactly. From your description, I would. Particularly when you don't know how she acts when alone, but one would assume you got the sanitized version. It seems to take alot for CAS to remove a child from their mothers custody, and since most of what they are relying upon is word of mouth ... they will investigate, and likely do some follow up. Sometimes a good boot in the ass is enough to turn a life around.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

What did you have for your babies? Posted: 3/11/2010 5:10:43 PM
I feed mine out of a frisbee .... that way it becomes a cool game when she throws it, and becomes extra training for her mother to correct.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

Would A One Child Policy Law Change How You Approach Relationships Posted: 2/21/2010 8:04:32 PM
The reason I'm not pregnant again is because I can't afford another child on my own. I can't work and have two babies it would be too much on my own. Come to Ontario dahling .... we'll aim for a baseball team!!!!!

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Moving away from their Dad... Posted: 2/20/2010 3:10:24 PM
My daughters mom lives almost 2 hrs away, and while it is manageable, it really isn't in the best interests of our daughter. ( 2 y/o) I keep asking her mother to consider moving closer when she moves next, or at a minimum stop being transient, pick a place and I'll consider selling my place and moving closer. First off, it is 8 hrs of driving each weekend. Time and money that could be better spent than polluting the atmosphere and wearing out car parts. 2ndly, the more you drive, the more likely you are to be in an accident. My daughter is exposed to this danger 4 hours every weekend. To me, it's an unnecessary danger. 3rd, if the mom is sick, or in need/could have use of a day off/night out ... its too far to swing by at random. 4th, when she returns to work, and starts using daycare, again , it is to far for me to easily assist with picking up from daycare should she find herself in a situation that would be convenient to have an alternative. ( overtime ...etc ... ) 5th , when school starts, she is going to have her school friends during the week, and her weekend friends at her dads. ( my place) I understand that he is currently an hour away, by his choice, so many of these points are rather redundant anyway. Should you both decide that living close isn't an option, have you considered less weekends, but longer periods of time? Such as kids are with you most of the time, but he gets them on his holidays, some extended weekends,and when school is an issue, most of the summer break, christmas break and spring break ? There are ways to divide quality time , so it works (somewhat) for all parties , it doesn't have to be EOW.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

How do you cope after you almost lose your child? Posted: 2/19/2010 9:04:26 PM
Glad to hear he's ok, and while calling 911 is ideal ... I would have reacted the same as you. Here in Canada , we have medical alert bracelets ... your son should wear one!!! ( http://www.medicalert.ca/en/join/how/work.asp) In an emergency situation, it draws attention to his condition - and emergency treatment. My nephew had anaphylactic reactions to dairy products ( from birth ) ... and he was hyper-sensitive - simply touching a piece of cheese would cause a reaction. So he always carried an epi-pen, and wore the bracelet identifying his condition. Instruct everyone ( grandparents, siblings, teachers,etc ... ) on usage and symptoms. I couldn't imagine the stress and trauma created ... and the carry-over YOU will have ... I wish I had some great wisdom to help you thru it. As a parent, it will affect you more than it will him. He will learn to live with it. It will be a big improvement to everyones peace of mind, once the cause is determined. Good luck with everything.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 1040 (view)

Mandatory DNA tests at birth? Posted: 2/7/2010 4:31:39 PM
I am sure you would have a very difficult time getting ANYONE to agree to have all people's DNA on file. Ever heard of Big Brother? It's beyond Big Brother ... although there is an aspect there that is unsettling as well. I would never question the paternity of my child. #1 , first and foremost, I trust her mother. If I didn't ... I would not have been sleeping with her. 2nd , I am happy to have a daughter. Even if it is only weekends and it costs me on a monthly basis. I knew at birth that I was no longer "involved" as a couple ... however ... it's my risk as to whether or not I accept it without DNA proof. And before you jump in with the argument of it is the childs right to know WHO her father is ... In my mind, it is me. And if I am wrong .... it is not me who "wronged" her. Want a DNA test ...go ahead ...good luck MAKING me have one. And don't ask for my vote on it either ;)

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 123 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 2/6/2010 6:28:28 AM
It may be pointless for me to argue with such a knowledgeable auto mechanic but I offer my observations and common sense which is probably more necessary than auto mechanics knowledge under the circumstances. Splendere, if you would refer to the post specifically prior to yours, in which when pointed out to me, the vehicle was a keyless ignition .... And I specifically made note to you that an apology was in order - from my end. My agenda is not Toyota , by any standard. I used to work on Volvo, until Volvo turned Folvo, and the Swedish Brick turned into pocket fluff. As well as Mercedes, BMW and yes, your beloved Jaguar. As the quality in all said vehicles have dropped drastically ( I'm reffering to the used marketplace ) I pay attention to "what next". And Lexus/Toyota, is/was in my mind a forerunner for what was next in my line of work. Do I think what is occuring will drastically influence my personal line of work - I try to follow it best I can. Your Jaguar, I believe would have a data box, capable of telling practically anything at point of impact. They were running massive central processors in the late 80's. And EVERYTHING ran thru it. I lost all faith in Jaguar due to the XJ40series (aka XJ6) as they had to many issues due to computer controls ( including brakes that would not stop your car) , door handles that would constantly break, headlights that would not come on , ABS lights flashing because your washer fluid was low ( 1987 CPU error... rewrote the manual rather than fix the feedback issue) . I hope Jaguar has improved in the current models. I haven't touched one newer than 1994. My knowledge of todays systems, stops about 2003, as I do not work dealership. So I tend to be 5 -7 years behind the "whats new" , although I like to study and follow what is going on, so I can be prepared. The aspect of a keyless ignition, IMO, changes said scenario drastically. ( maybe ) . It certainly lends viability to what you have said. Typically, with a KEY, turning of the ignition will cut power to both the ignition and the fuel systems. Computer error or not, its a mechanical switch off. Keyless ignition , is an entirely different issue. And having no personal experience with them, it could very well be that the vehicle must be in Park in order to be shut off. As you point out, we were not there, so it is hard to say. I readily admit I made an assumption as well. Again, regarding the brakes, it is hard to determine , as a car at WOT would certainly feel like there are no brakes. Hard pedal but sure doesn't want to stop. This is true to ANY vehicle - or at least any of the hundreds of models I have ever driven. Since the recall on the Prius is an electrical malfunction ( as per last nights news channel? ) , it really does start smelling rotten doesn't it? I do have a hard time believing that we would not hear about the brakes on said vehicle not being inspected. And it would be visually obvious if the brakes were being heavily applied or not. I have yet to hear ( but won't deny its possible ) that there was no evidence of braking. It is a bit of a moot point, the bottom line being not able to bring the vehicle under control. Most consumers want, and have a right to expect, that the vehicles they purchase are safe and function properly. You may be the exception. Safety has always been my primary regards in a vehicle. It was my dislike of Toyota and Honda in the pre '96 years. I would never drive a 1980's Toyota or Honda due to body structure. But I have admired their mechanical reliabilities for years. My opinion was based on looking at a 2008 Toyota Rav4 , - which I thought? was included as having a potential acceleration issue. Having an ignition key, and easily shifting out of Drive, yes, I readily admit I made an assumption. Quite honestly, the keyless ignition changes my opinion of the situation drastically.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 117 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 2/5/2010 9:16:02 PM
This vehicle with the Policeman, had RF keyless ignition Thanks JD ... I was not aware of that ... and therefore apologies to splendere as well. I had looked at an '08 Rav4 , with an ignition .... no ignition never even crossed my mind. And no dispute .... it would be hellish trying to brake a vehicle at WOT. Given a recall on the brakes as well .... damn is all I can say. ( I thought I heard it was an electric malfunction as well! On the news tonight - Ford uses the same system ??) Again, the Rav 4, I tried, pops out of gear into neutral easily ... went into reverse too easily for my liking, but thats better than sitting in a speeding car. I just looked at the Avalon, and considerably different shifter layout, so yes , it makes you think that not slipping into neutral is quite possible. Wasn't it mandatory at one point to be able to slap a shifter into neutral ? Times keep changing .... That is some potentially seriously crazy stuff going on. I think I will stick to my older Benz's.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 113 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 2/5/2010 7:54:54 PM
However, we are talking about a malfunctioning auto There is no question about it being a malfunction. I have been around lots of cars , and am not bad with understanding a lot of the "oddities" that arise. However, the policeman in question, panicked. He did not think to shut off the ignition, nor did he think to put it in neutral. Sad, but he panicked. Brakes ... find a long secluded road , and try ( briefly) pressing the brake and accelerator ... it is HARD to stop. Since they also have a recall on their brakes, it is possible that both systems failed ... but, most of us will agree... power brakes don't function well at WOT ( wide open throttle ) , the vacuum ( power) isn't as strong until the throttle closes. Do I "know" what is wrong ? hell no ... I'd be a millionaire if I could rub my crystal ball and provide an answer that every technician and engineer who have inspected the vehicle cannot answer. While most vehicles have information that is available with relation to fault codes, if there isn't a recognized fault, it may not be recorded. I suspect in this circumstance, whatever failed to create the WOT condition, would appear to the computer that it was driver related. I have heard of vehicles that record some data , BMW has a vehicle that will auto pilot precisely around a racetrack. You program the course ...sit back and watch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kc5JED8TgwI ( I hope I got that right ...no high speed ) I've never had the pleasure of working with such amounts of data. Toyota has and is behaving irresponsibly by feeding false information to the public. I would not trust them to fix anything pertaining to the faulty malfunctions. Nor are they to be believed at this point. They may not even know what exactly is causing these malfunctions. What we do know, becaue of the Officer’s call and some engineers have allouded to, is that the acceleration, brakes and ignitions are malfunctioning all while the auto is driving itself at 120mph. Toyota at least has stopped sales. ( temporary) Its the first that I've known to do this , which is commendable - almost. Perhaps other manufactures have ... first I remember. I'm sure someone will point out I am wrong I believe they do not know exactly what is wrong. Do I think they have been acting irresponsibly? I suspect the public isn't being told the whole truth & nothing but the truth. However, I think you are misreading the facts, and jumping to conclusions by saying that the car would not shut off, and the brakes did not function. NHTSA? would have inspected the brakes - and I have no doubt that there was visible indications that they were functioning, just the circumstances, it wasn't adequate to bring the vehicle under control. You do realize that this Highway Patrolman would have turned off the ignition IF the auto could have been turned off That is an assumption on your part. Do you also assume it wouldn't shift out of gear ? Big Pacific,let's make it personal, No need to make it personal Strings ... you and I are of the same opinion, however, we work hands on. And we clean up the mess that the dealerships leave behind. We see what BP reads about. His opinion is valid, as it is based on vehicles that are new, and less than 5 years old. As a new car owner, and from a new car perspective ... his statements have validity. We work on the other end of the spectrum. What we expect from a vehicle is very different than what he expects. Both are valid. I think you have more years than I do, and I have more than BP does. BP has missed out on the fiero's that would catch fire, the neons that would blow their heads every 80kms, the fiestas that would fold over railway tracks etc.... I like neither ...lol ... I like the European's ... but thats a whole other story!!!!

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 109 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 2/5/2010 5:31:08 PM
It makes me, think the pedal is fly by wire It is. I looked at one two days ago. My understanding is that it helps keep costs down, as cruise control, TPS, are all tied into one. As well as a few pennies for the copper, vs a couple nickels for the accelerator cable. Since we all know that after 20 years an accelerator cable will get rusty and might stick, or if a motor mount falls off, it can make the accelerator cable tighten unexpectedly .... so the obvious solution is to make it all electronic. Electronics DON'T have problems (rolls eyes) With a problem of this nature, which apparently renders brakes and engine shut down useless and turns two plus tons of steel into a deadly missile, all these autos should be recalled. You're mixing up the Toyota recalls ... the acceleration issue you have brakes ( albeit hard to stop an accelerating vehicle .... ) engine can still be shut down . But then you lose power steering and power brakes. The Prius and some Lexus have the intermittent brake issue ... but they are far from the first to have this exact same issue. LandRover is quite famous for this one. Other than that people asked for it...convinence..power everything, comfort control, automatic computerized chock systems , etc... Yup, simple just doesn't sell enough, and lasts too long to generate return business. The 1980's ended owning a car for 20-30 years ... 5 is more economical ( for them ) .Designed to last about as long as the car payment .. lovely ... Wax up those horses men and women....lol A greener way to keep a piece of $h!t on the road ;)

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 933 (view)

Mandatory DNA tests at birth? Posted: 2/5/2010 3:20:08 PM
filigreee is it ever possible that the DNA test will have a false result? Labs can make mistakes. Ever had an experience where the results might show the child not to be the alleged fathers when in actual fact he is??? It is relatively common for a lab to have a false result. Every human interaction makes a potential error. It is more uncommon to have a false paternity - as statistically it is rare. Unless , of coarse, the false paternity is due to your father or brother playing hankypanky with your SO. (I think a standard 99.999 DNA test puts the likelyhood that you could match one in 40,000,000 unrelated samples .... and since you were picked as "being there" the probability is assumed. ... I've read lots on the subject and am firing this "fact" from the top of my head ) I will stipulate - relatively common means - it happens - and no one in the industry will deny it doesn't. If you scroll through somewhere around page 22-25? I included a link from the Chicago Tribune addressing this issue. I believe firmly that I have a 20 yo daughter, that kinda looks like me, kinda acts like me, has a father unknown , and DNA test says it was not. At the time, due to my disbelief, I asked around, and I was far from the only person to feel this way, or swear the test was wrong. ( Women claiming to have been with one man, one man only, yet DNA proves it wrong ) . When you look at each DNA testing facility, each and every claims how their lab is better than the next for eliminating human error. So, extrapolate upon that as you wish. There is no data for lab error due to mishandling. As there is no certification or licencing required to become a DNA testing lab, it is rather grey. US regulations for a legal DNA test, ( accreditation ) require the labs maintain a 99.9% accuracy rate. So its ok to mess up one every thousand or so ... The online DNA centres, mostly, are not DNA centres ... they are a mailbox and they contract out to who they wish. Their handling of your information is now added into the "margin of error" . http://www.aabb.org/Content/Accreditation/Parentage_Testing_Accreditation_Program/Relationship_Testing_Annual_Reports/reports.htm Interesting reading. In fact, the whole site has lots of info regarding DNA testing facilities , and trying to collect data for "statistics" that have been quoted within this forum. Then google mutating genes and chimerean babies .... you'll get some insight into our perception of DNA testing.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 896 (view)

Mandatory DNA tests at birth? Posted: 2/5/2010 5:12:58 AM
It's actually cheaper than $150 already. No crazy work for you Since I can speak from personal experience ... having used a bargain basement mail in knock off "DNA" centre ..... saved $400 on a test, and after multiple phone calls when the papers are overdue , get an answer of "we have the results - what would you like the answer to be" . Perhaps a curious question , perhaps its ensuring "customer satisfaction". I'll never know. For those of you that believe that DNA testing is exact ... wait and see.... enjoy seeing your world ripped apart , roll your dice . The science - its quite exact - but as with everything - you get what you pay for. Want a cheap price - expect to get cheap quality control. If they can do it "on-the-spot"- basically in front of you ... then my opinion may change. For those of you that love to reflect statistics of 10-30% of false paternity, its a misleading statistic. Most people that have a DNA test performed, already are questioning paternity. So does it really reflect the population? Its a reflection of a portion of the population, that already has doubts. 10-30% indicates that in every class of every school ... (average of 30 students????) , 3 to 9 have been duped into "who's my daddy?" ...c'mon. When something is called upon and CAN be done cheaply, competition comes in and will lower the prices due to DEMAND. Demand over supply is when costs are higher, dear. If the supply can be there, a higher demand will drive the prices down. See computers, dvd players, etc. High demand -- lower prices. In some cases, this applies. However, higher demand and lower prices also reflects in quality control. Want a professional or do you want a Burger King graduate ? I know who I prefer when my entire world is balancing on the answer. Again, if DNA testing was brought to a point of being performed routinely in the hospital , on the spot ...then you have my attention. Since a DNA lab doesn't have to be licenced ... How about I start up MrLookings DNA centre - Your desired results guaranteed. ( unless you want the truth ) <<=== thats the small print at the bottom of the page.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 100 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 2/4/2010 8:46:19 PM
A properly tuned engine , will create low emissions ... however, its properly tuned. Todays emission controls take into account that most don't know a properly tuned engine. Toyota went after market share and screwed up. Or did they? If you tend to chase conspiracy theories ... perhaps its a reclaim of shareholders stock at basement prices. Massive efforts into becoming #1 ... a few years of dissatisfaction , repurchase all your stock , after the shareholders have financed your expansion. Chips? Program? IMO they would have solved it if it were one of those.... Intermittent Sensor? Bad shielding ? Wrong material .... After viewing a Rav4 yesterday, bad shielding would be better described as no shielding. More and more systems are binding wires to cancel out the electromagnetic fields they generate. On a drive by wire system, it might very well come back to the wrong materials, creating the wrong field, and under the proper humidity catching interference from God-only-knows what other radiation we are bombarded with.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 98 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 2/4/2010 7:51:21 PM
There are a lot of advantages to the systems , but I agree a lot is unnecessary. I finally got a peek at the layout of the newer Toyotas ( 08 Rav4 ) , and have a hard time feeling secure. Something about a lack of mechanical visibility .... it just doesn't bode well with me. Positioning the ECM within inches of the battery, laying the acceleration potentiometer directly underneath the lines for the heater core ... right in line with bootslop .... I'm shocked that this is "improvements" . The car I looked at didn't fall into Canada's recall list ... but I found a lot that was unnerving . Worst, the ease of slapping the shift from D into R ... not a very positive detent to prevent a panic slam into reverse. Light gauge wiring, not encased to prevent interference.... damn ... where do you start trying to resolve what the real issue is. While things were well clipped to avoid chaffing ... and insulated against the firewall , I saw too many discomforting aspects , that apparently "meet and exceed" NA requirements ... I'm afraid of whats coming down the line for cars in general. The floormat to gas pedal clearance, I could see being an issue if you're a dumbass, and would have loved pulling apart the accelerator pedal just to appease my curiosity ... I read about viraltechnology replacing silicon chips in Popular Mechanics? Anyone up to speed on this ???

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 857 (view)

Mandatory DNA tests at birth? Posted: 2/4/2010 3:57:54 PM
Holy crap .... this just doesn't end does it ??? It's like this .... men can fool around = ok .... women can't. That would just make them slutty whores. Men shouldn't be responsible for where they put their D!ck .... that should be slutty woman's problem. Men shouldn't be responsible for anything. Thats a womans job. Anytime a man screws up a womans life ... thats ok ... its just a woman. Any woman that screws up a mans ....slutty whore'd heresey. Men should be allowed to f$#@ anything , anytime, no repercussions and women should just accept it, and quit their frickin whining. Isn't that the nutshell ????

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Why do girls back off when a single father is doing his thing Posted: 2/3/2010 4:39:09 PM
i do what is right Then why are you a SINGLE father ?

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 80 (view)

Is being seperated with scare men away? Posted: 2/3/2010 2:54:55 PM
unless there is a whole lot of fighting going on, a non-contested divorce shouldn't cost $1300 I am told the cost to DIY, for an uncontested divorce is approximately $500 , I should know the exact dollar next week ... as I am doing it right now. I believe it was 3 fees , A $300 court fee, a $100 Divorce Search , and a $95 something ... $10-20 each for an affidavit. We downloaded the forms online ... and should be filing them next week. Two lawyers have quoted, one is $800 as their fee, one quoted $500 , provided each of us is willing to go in and sign. Any chasing, screwballing arguing costs go up. And then the $500 in court fees.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 92 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 2/2/2010 6:19:23 PM
Its amazing how the media is attacking toyota..omg...First the floor mats, now some dude who is a notoriety with the computer world puts in his 2 cents worth and says he thinks his car has a computer clitch...He said "I push my cruise control and my car took off to 100 mph...{only one time}... I'm amazed that things are not out in the open yet. 1st was "it's the floormat" , now its " the pedal" , it cannot be the electrics .... Maybe they are right, maybe not. I think they are giving an explanation, because they need to have an explanation , otherwise they will never sell another vehicle again. Its a nasty black eye, and until time proves one way or the other, its going to hangover for a while. I think they will resolve the issue , at some point, but its going to hurt them for several years coming. Any sort of blip in the powertrain, whether its an engine miss, or a fast idle due to a faulty coldstart ... its going to scare the driver - probably to the point of trading the vehicle. I think it would be prudent for them to offer a mechanical throttle conversion, to regain confidence, until they have proven beyond a shadow of doubt where the fault is. I think most of us would accept a mechanical linkage - even if it failed, to not loose confidence in the vehicle. The very thought of a car that potentially decides to accelerate due to computer error, is enough to make people turn over the keys. We all know cars break, and can accept it. Electronics unnerve people.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 67 (view)

What kind of man turns his back on his child? Posted: 2/2/2010 6:04:07 PM
None of us can know who is right and who is wrong For the record .... I am always right

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 85 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 2/1/2010 8:26:43 PM
my first one( built by Trolls) had a cord on the dash to pull a curtain up in front of the radiator..Great for heat. .... 3 cylinder 800 cc ran like crazy. Was that the 99 ( 96?) ? The two-strokes pre-date me .... never got to check one out. I think its a great time to buy into Toyota. They may (or may not) be on a overall slide from #1, but they are here to stay, at least for the time being. Being #1 is good for overall sales, but profitability is another issue. Ford might come up well in all this, but when the North American public realizes that Ford has been feeding them garbage while building higher quality for the European market, I'm not convinced they are going to come out unscathed. Its a bit of a bitter pill to swallow.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 83 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 2/1/2010 8:05:56 PM
I have to admit , I just don't personally feel safe in a Yaris. They are too light for my personal tastes. I know the Echo, without winter tires, the wind will literally blow you off the roads . The dealership will warn you off this at purchase. ( locally anyway ) Working within the trade, I have driven hundreds of makes and models ... and for considerable distances. A Tercel or Corolla, IMO, don't cut the grade for me either. They are too light, and just don't feel solid. I don't feel reassured that I am safe. I don't mind a Camry ...but I dislike the lack of road feel. If I am not "feeling" the road, I don't feel secure with who is in control of the drive. A Saab is actually a very impressive vehicle from a drivers point of view. The post '96 900 based models, are a little on the flimsy and anemic side , but the 9000 based series are definately a drivers car. Reliability is a little lacking .... but thats another issue. I wouldn't go so far as saying a Yaris doesn't handle well in the winter, but I would say that there are many cars that do handle better, and at the very least instill more confidence and security while in the vehicle. To go from a SAAB to a Yaris , I can totally understand the feeling of insecurity. Perhaps the phrasing she used was misleading. I am not a fan of LARGE vehicles , but I do like a tight suspension, good tracking, and well balanced. I am also a growing fan of ammenities like traction control , ESP,BAS and ABS systems. I used to believe in me more than a braking system that takes the skill out of driving, but there are some very impressive systems out there ( when working) that just add to the overall driving experience.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

adoption Posted: 2/1/2010 7:00:40 PM
Your child can legally change her name anytime she wants. Almost ... your child can legally use an assumed name, and use affidavits, until they are over 18 , at which point it can be changed legally. I grew up using my step-fathers ( Dad's) last name. It was legally changed after I turned 18. My understanding is that without the bio-fathers consent, adoption or name change isn't allowed.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Just become a mum! Posted: 2/1/2010 6:27:28 PM
as he lives 3 hours away, he doesnt want the long drive.. He would sleep on the sofa and i wouldnt have to be around all the time that he is there. It sounds alllllll to familiar. I too, stayed overnight to spend time with my daughter, and while it was uncomfortable in ways , it wasn't that big of a deal. It IS a short term arrangement .... ours was about 5 months, where I would spend the night, visit, help with things, and then head for home. Take advantage of it !!! It's making things easy for BOTH of you. Most importantly, it is making things easiest for your child. Allowing your daughter bonding time, when all she knows is smell and touch ... that will be with her for life. The two of you are now bonded for life, so accept it. The stay over period is a short term solution, and I would suggest you take advantage of it. Get some rest. Do some errands. Go outside. It will allow your daughter and him a closer bond , or would you prefer 6 months from now, your daughter starts leaving the house with a virtual stranger? Right now, you can control HOW you expect the interaction to be , you can ensure he is capable of looking after your child, there are soooooo many advantages, some discomfort in the situation is a pitance compared to the advantages. JMO Note to Add : Just remember that every $$ he spends on a hotel, or arrangements, is a $$ he doesn't spend on caring for your daughter .... what would you rather have ?

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 81 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 2/1/2010 5:03:24 PM
I have a Toyota and am not satisfied with it. The Yaris is too small and lightweight to handle bad weather. I disagree. This is my second winter with my 2008 Yaris, and it handles just as well or better, than any other vehicle I have owned, and I've been driving for 40 years WWOrion, one has to consider comparison value. You went from a Tercel , to a Yaris ... I can understand being impressed. I believe DW had previously owned a SAAB. The European handling, road feel, and overall feeling of SOLID , has yet to be matched by the asian market - or at least anything I have driven. Lol, you are right, I am young. I'm sort of in sales, I own a consulting firm that teaches car dealers how to make money, it's what i do. I'm sure your 30 years of experience grants you unbiased wisdom to the performance of japanese vehicles. i speak with HUNDREDS of people that do your job and i weigh their collective opinions accordingly. BP , while I respect your opinion, and you have validity to your knowledge base, I have more faith in a mechanics opinion - particularly a non-factory technician. A tradesman that works on cars ( primarily) that is 5 years old or newer, with 100,000 kms or less is in touch with Consumers Guide and the likes. Those of us that work with vehicles that are primarily in the 100-500,000 km range, and are 3-30 years old, have a different idea on what "quality" is. I personally, don't care if a Civic goes in 6 times for warranty claims .. if I can drive it to 500,000 without large expense, as opposed to a vehicle that is excellent over 100,000 kms but barfs out at 150,000. Both are legitimate grades of quality - it really depends on who your customer base is. Ownership of one of the recalled models sounds scary to me. I would have no problem for myself, How ever I sure would not allow a loved one to drive it........ JDR ... I agree 100%. And I am of the opinion that the problem is not what they "hope" it to be. The rest of the market has moved up, toyota has stayed the same. they are not the pinnacle they once were. Consumer reports USED to give toyota automatic quality ratings without even SEEING a car. They stopped doing that. I believe Toyota is on a slide in quality, and that others are trying to raise the bar. I find it disgusting that Consumer Reports judge any vehicle by a label, and not by the product. I expect this is why I've never found the various Consumer Reports to be in line to the actual product. The problem with new cars, is you don't know if they are any good until they reach the 5 year mark.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 639 (view)

Mandatory DNA tests at birth? Posted: 1/29/2010 10:52:23 PM
The sins of the parents should never be visited upon the child. A child has two parents and two parents should be responsible for a child....that has been the long-standing social value. Its a very valid argument, IMO. ( I really thought this thread had died ) .... I believe that discussing with a partner - we are talking about a SO here , prior to having children, prior to getting involved, is the best solution. I think most people this day in age, people will accept, that yes, infidelity CAN happen. Waiting until "she's knocked up good" - yeah , that creates problems to ask for a DNA test. I have no doubt that most women, who know feelings/fears upfront, will have NO issue with accomodating such a request. If she does, you have the option of walking before pregnancy is an issue. If she changes her mind at birth, its very fair to say you haven't, this is something we agreed to, to ascertain that there is no doubt. The mothers DNA is not really necessary to assure a father of paternity, although, there are cases it is required. When you are standing in the delivery room, with your wife/SO , and the doctor confirms that 50% of that child's DNA matches yours ... odds are your mind is at ease. I don't disagree with those that feel, they do not want to raise a child that isn't biologically theirs - its your own choice - if it is at birth ( or as close as possible) . If technology changed, to the point ( as inferred that it was coming many posts back) , that a DNA test could be performed on the spot, by your doctor, and samples then destroyed ( if requested) I would object far less. Take out the word mandatory, and call it a "typical procedure" , I am all for it - IF it is done on the spot, a retest if necessary. to protect a mis-named father from financial penalty, and we should do this for the sake of the child. A mis-named father, who has objected to a non-bio child from birth - should definitely be protected. A mis-named father that has played the role, knowingly OR unknowingly -if that child looks to that man as DAD, that is a responsibility for life. Using DNA after the fact simply to elude child support is wrong. To protect every skirt chasing man-whore .... not my tax dollar. EDIT : Many men may not care whether the kid is theirs, because in their heart, it doesn't matter. Who are you to say they MUST know and have no choice in it? Thank you barefootkitten .... I am very happy to have my daughter call me Daddy. I don't want a DNA test telling me otherwise.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 349 (view)

Do you feel comfortable dating someone who is seperated Posted: 1/29/2010 9:49:09 PM
Why do you think a separated person is MORE likely to be unready emotionally than anyone else? I have to admit , a separated person is MORE likely to be unready emotionally, because it is more likely that the person is recently out of a LTR than someone who is divorced. About equally as likely as someone who is single. ( and over 30 ) However, my p.o.v. is , divorced raises as many red flags as separated does. In fact, for me - it raises a few more. A fast track to divorce - hmmmn , either A> they choose people poorly , or B> they have no respect for the term marriage. A long drawn out divorce - hmmmnn , either A> uncompromising B> cares too much about revenge or winning or C> Chooses people poorly A single person ( again +30) that hasn't been married or in a LTR raises just as many red flags .... So, to stereotype potential daters , I guess I'd better stock up on hand lotion and forget about loving anyone but myself. I trust me. Or , its take people as they are, forget labels, and judge someone by WHO they are. JMO . NotElvisJr - I agree with you this time

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

I just can't figure it out...why did he do that? Posted: 1/29/2010 8:30:35 PM
he last time I saw him was over 20 years ago at a music fair You really haven't known him "that long". As far as the reaching ... maybe he's still hoping to rekindle what you used to have .... hooking up once in a while ... take care of the need! Yeah ... move on .... call him in another 20 ;)

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 1/29/2010 8:18:19 PM
The drive by wire process eliminates the need for a return spring at the actual throttle. Its typically a electric motor . Typical failure, is in closed position - you idle ... You need a voltage spike to increase the throttle angle , so there is a reason for it going to full acceleration. It could be a component within the accelerator or ECM , that is failing , thus creating a false (and intermittent) failure where it increases the voltage applied. It could be any ground point on the vehicle doing a back feed, it could also be poor voltage regulation and/or poor ( I forget the name ) - but gives a baseline voltage for comparison ... ( brain fart! ) It isn't going to be easy. They do not halt sales for a "little dab of WD". Intermittent electronics are a nightmare - because when you test - they work , so it becomes a "best guess" scenario. Not exactly comforting on a multi million vehicle recall campaign. Again - this is all speculation ... they might be a mechanical accelerator ... I don't know them well enough.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Possible to start a relationship while you still love her? Posted: 1/29/2010 8:04:40 PM
she was / is my best friend so I still keep in contact with her. She WAS. It's been 4 months and I'm still depressed It will help , IMO, to walk away from her #1, and #2, from dating until you get your head back on straight. Finding someone else to unload your problems on is one way ... but I suspect this will depress you even more, as anyone with half a brain is gonna run! You might find someone desperate enough and downright fugly that is willing to try and support you in your time and need , but I expect that will depress you even more when you wake up in the morning! Get your head on right. If you can't fix your source of trouble ( her) - and it sounds like you can't - abandon ship.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 46 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 1/29/2010 7:43:09 PM
My only question is this, isn't the gas pedal just a simple lever on a pivot and it attaches to the cable? I am guessing at this ... maybe I'll have to pop the hood on my customers 2010 Rav4 .... I suspect the gas pedal isn't directly attached to the throttle. Many are done by electronics. My reason for suspecting this is that their primary concern was higher mileage vehicles in humid locations. And the engineers were scrambling for a solution. - that was the first story I heard other than floormats. It isn't logical for a mechanical linkage to fail in these circumstances, nor would it be difficult to fix. (an extra spring for example) With electronics , it can be a nightmare to recreate WHAT caused the initial problem - from a voltage surge, to a poor ground, to a voltage spike , poor diodes .... etc ... I haven't looked at my data sheets on Toyotas to know this - any techies out there ??? Quality is directly related to how you treat the car. If you baby it, then almost any car can be reliable (except Yugo's). You beat on it and don't maintain it? Expect that "high quality automobile" to start digging into your pocket hardcore There is truth to this statement, but it applied more to pre-1996 vehicles much more. BMW's for example, were built for the Autobahn. Quite common to be driven daily at 200kph , and still reach 400 and 500,000Kms. ( Told to me in the early 80's by an old German ... ) Todays vehicles are built overly sophisticated, and the largest nature of problems (other than brakes and suspension) are electronic. Time(age) and # of uses tend to be the strongest wear factor - how you drive ( baby vs aggressive) plays a lessor role , as does maintenance. Most electronic items - at the lowest form of purchase - tend to be rated for either # of times current passes , or # of hours ... So, in theory, the person that drives twice as fast getting to work - will have less problems than Mr Pokey, who barely reaches the speed limit. Crank sensors, air flow meters, transmission electronics, ECMs, ABS modules, can process the information regardless of the speed they are driven at.Today's lubricant technology is far superior , dissipating heat, and lowering operating temperatures, thus causing less wear. Don't get me wrong, maintenance is still required, and driving sanely will make your car last longer, ( and its safer !) , but, the last decade has seen huge changes to the industry, and the rules that applied in the 60's thru 90's , are a little different today.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 42 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 1/29/2010 3:47:22 PM
I've got to agree with Strings ... as a mechanic/bodyman/independant dealer , with 22 years in the trade . The Japanese imports , IMO, have been making excellent powertrains since the early 70's , and until the late 90's, their downfall was keeping a body on them for more than 5 years ( on our salted road's anyway ) , and its been a long time since "the big 3" have been able to hold any ground - except on "reputation" . My background is in Europeans, and while I love my mid-80's to early 90's Volvo and Mercedes ... anything newer than '96, I really have to tip my hat to the Jap crap. It's not near as comfortable, and boring to drive ( special models excluded ) , but the reliability is hard to beat. As I've mentioned before, my belief is that Toyota is now suffering what every manufacturer goes thru. You fight tooth and nail, build your way to the top. But, at the end of the day, it doesn't pay the bills. I'm # 1, but I don't really make any money. Then the cost cutting starts .... but you have 10+yrs of loyalty , before you have to say, We're sorry ... we need to improve. I've watched Volvo and Mercedes go steadily downhill since `95, GM, Chrysler and Ford have run for decades on the mentality of " my daddy owned a Ford ... his daddy owned a Ford ... I will always own a Ford ... " until people started getting fed up by the late 80's and looking at other manufacturers. Interestingly, you look at their overseas vehicles, they are WAY better than the ones they sell here. A NA Ford Escort is a joke , a european spec, is a pretty wild machine! They've had the potential , and the capability .... but it isn't near as profitable. I believe we will see the same with Toyota and Honda. We're popular, we have a reputation, now its time to make serious $$. It takes the general public 10-15 years to catch on. " The masses are asses" - and they rely heavily on it. And I had to chuckle at the VW comment ... I've been having to contend with comparisons for decades ... " It's german quality" ... my retort is now - compare Kia with Lexus - they're both Asian!

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 1/29/2010 5:17:18 AM
Very few remember the good old days of Volvo and their 200 series cars and of course the Mercedes Benzes of 60's, 70's, 80's, especially the W123, W124 models. Just love them !!! The W124's in particular! However, they have also followed the same fate of quality qulaity quality ... then change it all up to make money and rely upon reputation.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Choosing Parenthood Posted: 1/28/2010 3:42:40 PM
I don't really know if I could or really want to do it You aren't ready. And when asked , answer honestly ... exactly as you quoted. Myself, I've always wanted children, no question in my mind. Only you will know if you want kids or not. Do everyone a favour, decide what is best for you, not your parents, not your partner ... If you're undecided - remain undecided. You have lots of time to figure things out.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

How to talk to baby? Posted: 1/28/2010 3:33:34 PM
I'm also of the " talk to an adult" belief. My daughter is 22 months , and starting to speak like a real person. I don't see the point in teaching her how to speak one way , then changing midstride, and no ...don't say that like that .... just speak. They seem to understand.

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 75 (view)

Is being seperated with scare men away? Posted: 1/28/2010 12:53:05 PM
Separated = Married = Rebound Get divorced. Get your head, yourself together. THEN date. Many/most people are simply too smart to get involved with "separated" because they are NOT emotionally ready/ available. A little stereotypical aren't we ?????

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Sure glad I don't have a Toyota! Posted: 1/27/2010 10:16:16 PM
A recall means you have to send it back for repairs .... it doesn't mean they will necessarily hand you another one. You will likely have to rent one in the interim. The Toyota problem ... is scary , as it is now a confidence problem. How confident would you feel if you were driving one right now? And since they are not really disclosing the exact nature of the problem, its hard to discern whether or not you feel comfortable driving it or not. What I am hearing, ( and my belief ) ... is it is not merely a floormat problem ... while its easy to sit back and say why didn't you ..... Reacting to the moment can be a very different experience. Being in tune with your vehicle will save you all sorts of problems .... unfortunately .... you are in the minority ( in my experience in the trade)

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Do you agree with this statement? Posted: 1/27/2010 8:33:02 PM
I agree 100%. I have enough things on my plate to contend with. Why would I want to deal with someone who feels it is my responsibility to make them happy? While I might be able to offer insight to a person - because I am an outsider, if someone doesn't know what makes them tick ... how can I ? I like to please my partner- in all aspects. If they can't help guide me , its like beating your head against the wall. And it follows with my selfishness .... If they cannot please the one person they know the best ( themselves ) .... how the $#@! are they ever going to be able to please me ?

lookingelsewhere

Joined: 7/1/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Its not fair to compare? Posted: 1/27/2010 8:04:24 PM
I do assume that you are not comparing out loud ? I think its pretty normal to compare people.

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