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 Author Thread: Do girls use guys for sex?
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 125 (view)
 
Do girls use guys for sex?
Posted: 2/6/2010 6:22:02 AM

Sex 101: women need an emotional connection to really enjoy sex.


Sex 102: Don't believe everything they teach you in Sex 101. Especially the parts they repeat over and over again
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Why the rush, meet, date, roll in the hay?
Posted: 12/30/2009 2:36:57 PM

Most men are horn dogs. If he didn't try to sleep with you would you be equally offended. I know most women claim to want a gentleman but if they actually dated one they would probably think he is gay. Isn't it true most women know within a few minutes if a guy is attractive enough to have sex with? Maybe that is what men really want to know? Am I wasting my time and money and have no chance of moving into an adult relationship with you?


Absolutely. We've tried the slow method and found that if she doesn't put out early, she never does. "Friends first" (to your face) means "Sex Never". Similarly, "Take it slow" means "You are in the friends zone"

"Friends first" on a profile means "you are in the friends zone unless I can't keep my hands off you" In other words, "I am a normal woman"
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Can someone please explain to me open-minded
Posted: 12/29/2009 4:12:45 PM
This thread shows that "open minded" gets interpreted in a lot of different ways.
If the person has been on POF for more than a few days, they will have discovered this.
If the confusion caused satisfies them in some way, they won't change anything.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Should I tell him I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/26/2009 10:57:30 AM
1. Write saying you are not interested
2. Block him imediately after that.

Fair to both sides
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
 
when someone of age hasnt had a relationship
Posted: 11/24/2009 5:41:17 PM
I never had dates or relationships when I was younger. I also had difficulty with job interviews and getting a loan to buy a house. The reason? Even at 25 I looked about 15. Later in life it's been less or a problem and often an advantage!

Yes, there is often a reason but maybe not a bad one.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Is being yourself really good advice?
Posted: 11/18/2009 3:31:49 PM
If you do what you always do, you'll get what you always get. So are you happy with what you get?
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Is there any recourse???
Posted: 11/18/2009 3:04:02 PM

The only recourse is to go out with nice guys instead of pathological liars.

No dice. Real nice guys don't want a drama queen
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 40 (view)
 
having fun with scam come-ons
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:27:18 PM
Tell them your real name is Eze and you come from Port Harcourt. You are in the same business. If they want to be successful, they need English lessons like you did. Give them the web site of Eton or Harrow
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
I think...
Posted: 6/14/2009 10:28:06 AM

....all you owe people is honesty and clarity. You are not responsible for their actions.


Yeah - but remember that honesty and clarity isn't just the words you use - it's your *actions* too. And it's a work in progress - one "clear" conversation is not enough
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Men who won't leave younger woman alone
Posted: 3/16/2009 4:32:18 PM
It could simply be that they were enjoying dancing together. If you're really into dancing (as I am) you dance with anyone - young or old, single or otherwise - provided you enjoy dancing with each other. It's accepted and normal amongst dancers.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Expectations
Posted: 2/1/2009 1:06:23 PM

I expect the man to buy the coffee / pay for anything under $20 as a sign of his gentlemanly intentions.


How well does that "litmus test" work out in practice?
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 56 (view)
 
How do you get and keep a girlfriend?
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:18:21 PM

The same way you attract friends. There is no secret.




No. That just gets you more friends (female)
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Something About Stereotyping when Dating
Posted: 1/25/2009 11:50:22 AM

She was saying that I am an engineer, and she does not date engineers.


Be careful reading too much into "Dear John" letters or other rejections. Often contain a lot of BS

Maybe she's just not that into you.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Utter Confusion
Posted: 1/6/2009 4:59:57 PM
I'm wondering whose idea it was that most of your dates were round at your house? If it was you, you're just a normal horndog

If it was her, then I suspect she wanted sex. Also, was she very reluctant for you guys to be seen out together? If so, she may be keeping some other option open.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 120 (view)
 
Do most women hate sex, and only do it to please men?
Posted: 1/5/2009 9:08:30 AM

Really there are women like you out there? Then how do you explain this constant barrage of whiney" I was used and kicked to the curb after he got what he wanted" threads I see in the forums 100 times a day?


Yes, I've met a few women like her. It wouldn't be, er fashionable even today for a guy to complain that he got kicked to the curb after she got what she wanted.

However, if a woman blames the break up of a starting relationship on the guy only being after a one night stand...

- It's conventional
- It frees her from any responsibility
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Old school bully asked me out....
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:38:50 AM

I was one of those kids who was teased mercilessly for being the smartest, geekiest, a minority etc, and thanks to martial arts and a little help I got over it, so I can speak from Experience


Yeah, I had those advantages and after I hit the bully in front of a large audience, the problem ceased. However, the school was all male....


Second you don't know if that woman in question has changed?


I think you have to bear in mind that the OP is not Gandhi. If the woman had approached him with an apology, it would have been admirable if he had agreed to meet but it was have been reasonable for him to refuse.

Given that she approached him for a DATE and given the history, I'm cutting him some slack.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Old school bully asked me out....
Posted: 1/4/2009 8:20:37 AM

should the OP be looking to date at all if he's still got all these unresolved feelings?


Excellent point! Let's also disqualify those with criminal records, who are "separrated", unemployed, don't drive, etc as well.

Plenty of fish? Er, no actually!
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
I did it - the electronic disappearing act - guilty! Have you ever?
Posted: 1/4/2009 5:56:40 AM

As has been said several times already, it's the nature of online "dating."


No, it's the nature of human relationships period. The disapearing act was going on before the Internet. It also happens in marriages and other apparently long term relationships. Also happens in business. Salesperson makes a pitch to a potential customer, a lot of them don't come back with an explicit "No thanks"
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 65 (view)
 
I like you so much I can't sleep with you...
Posted: 1/3/2009 9:30:54 AM

About only having sex once she is in love with the guy, she then goes to mexico and spreads her legs for the first guy that buys her a drink. Was she in love with the guy in mexico? if not she is a damn liar in my book


Nice analysis! She used the lie to keep the OP around for "friendship".

When I was younger, I made the same mistake a too many times - being SO "patient" and "understanding" and then WHAM she slept with some guy she hardly knew.

The learning point for the OP is that when sex doesn't happen fairly soon after the first meet, the chances go downhill rapidly. Somebody is just not into someone.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
I like you so much I can't sleep with you...
Posted: 12/30/2008 2:04:44 PM
OP: Search this site for "Friends Zone" and others and see if the concept applies.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Why do women?
Posted: 12/30/2008 9:20:59 AM
OP, try signing up on this site as a blonde woman and a special wizard will pop up to help you with your profile!

It looks a bit this:

X Are you bubberley?
X Are you shy at first until you get to know someone?
X Do you like nights in with a bottle of red and a DVD?

Interests section:

X Lots
X Just ask
X the usual
X Walks on beaches

Bitterness section:

X No playas
X No liers

All the boxes are ticked by default

 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
New Year Celebrations.
Posted: 12/26/2008 4:43:31 AM
I shall be going dancing
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Inadequate Presents...........Worthy Of Dumping ?
Posted: 12/23/2008 6:20:22 PM

I think most will agree that its not all about money but if a partner bought something that they obviously put no effort or thought into which showed they didnt really care, regardless of how cheap or expensive it is.. i would be pretty p*ssed off.


Yes. An incident like that was a not exactly a "deal breaker" but it was a big clue/wake up call
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Was mum right to storm into school and hit alleged bully?
Posted: 12/23/2008 6:13:03 PM
I was bullied at school for years and nothing effective was done about it. Finally, I did martial arts training and used it to seriously hurt a tormentor in front of a large audience. The bullying stopped dead.

If the school had taken proper action earlier, I wouldn't have learnt the "wrong" lesson.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Doormen and Violence
Posted: 12/23/2008 5:50:14 PM

What you should be aware of before making any complaint is that you have all the facts


No. Report the facts you saw to the Police. Of course, your story may be incomplete but you may help them to put together "all the facts"
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
how can someone be too nice??
Posted: 12/23/2008 5:21:01 PM

PLEASE don't change, there are plenty of women who would LOVE to be with someone like you...


Hmm.... "Paddy24 Appears on 0 members favorites lists"
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 360 (view)
 
The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:03:55 AM
The 3 day rule is very important - but frequently misunderstood.

Let's say you go out on a date with someone and you wait exactly three days before contacting them.

If the other person isn't really into you, they CANNOT use the 3 day rule to dump you.
They have to find one of the other rules you broke. Perhaps you pushed for sex (or failed to), failed to bring flowers, paid the "wrong" percentage of the restaurant bill, were not dressed right...
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Does how you were raised dictate who you are attracted to?
Posted: 12/17/2008 4:35:25 PM
Quite a few of the women I find attractive on sight turn out to have come from families similar to mine on a psychological level
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Varying Degrees of Fitness
Posted: 12/17/2008 1:45:27 PM

Cowboy....You're always, "What's the point of this post?" or "Why is this post here?" etc, etc. LOL!


Yes he does. It's often a very good question
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Timing
Posted: 12/16/2008 5:57:12 PM
There are any number of ways of saying "no" but most of them have more than 2 letters.


if the right one hits you, then you are going for it


I think that's often true. When it competes with a child-parent relationship, it might not happen.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
How long to wait in dating before talking about your full feelings..
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:38:40 PM

Hi OP, Notice how a lot of the male respondants are saying 'Dont do it!! Dont use the L word!! panic panic panic!!! Thats called projection, my friend. Thats their own fears right there


Yep, it's called "experience". Most of guys have had the L bomb backfire on them at least once. OP, if you drop the L-Bomb before she knows she loves you. she will very likely run a mile. Pay attention! Here are the three times to deploy the L-Bomb:

* When you are very sure she loves you
* When you feel desperate and want a stagnated relationship to move. (It might just work but likely it will end it)
* When a movie camera is pointed at you
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 83 (view)
 
holding hands on first date?
Posted: 12/10/2008 6:10:08 PM
EEEEEwwwwww! Couldn't you persuade him to have sex instead?
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
whats with the mixed signals??
Posted: 12/7/2008 4:40:43 PM

it wasnt an intentional "let me feel you up" kind of touch. it was just a "well this is the most comfortable place to put my hand in this position" kind of thing.


Thanks. I'll remember that one
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Playing mind games or not?
Posted: 12/3/2008 4:42:11 PM

Yes you can miss something you had with an ex - but I think it is a head game to tell them that


Well said that gal!
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 12/3/2008 4:14:45 PM

i'd say, "she's not that into you"

At 24 - if she had a healthy sexual appetite, this wouldn't be an issue.
She definitely has some hangups due to her sexual history , and I agree with the previous post that she's gonna continue to have those issues until she meets the guy that actually trips her trigger.

You aren't him.


Perzackerly!
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 70 (view)
 
She pretended... to get him to marry her.
Posted: 11/30/2008 3:36:49 PM

A guy on here told me recently that all the men who put on their profiles that they "love to dance" are LYING! just to get women to go out with them. I thought that was too funny. How many men really love to dance


Thanks for the tip. I've just listed "dancing" as an interest. As for how many men really love dancing - about as many a there are similar women in most of the places I go dancing.

Why not start a thread about women lying about their interest in football and F1?
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
How longgg?
Posted: 11/30/2008 2:37:12 PM

What does a quick meeting tell you? Please i would LOVE to know this because i meet people all the time and it NEVER tells you what is on the inside


The quick meeting tells you if there's any CHEMISTRY.


Please call me stupid if you wish but a quick meet will tell ALL?

No it won't tell you ALL. Just something VITAL.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Even the nice guys have the power to hurt you....
Posted: 11/25/2008 10:32:30 AM
The OP has my sympathy. I have seen both sexes get into situations like this. There are some people around who for some reason do put out a load of phony signals


friends thought we were dating but just denying it. He gave very mixed signals and its confusing.


Yes, this is a classic sign. The mixed signals are particularly deadly:

* It's what psychologists call "intermittent reinforcement". It's SO attractive

* When challenged, they can point to the negative signals to show they were being "clear"

A couple of times, I've seen these people "victimize" several friends of mine in turn. The perpetrator may even ask "Why does this always happen to me?"

In a way, posters who say the OP didn't read the signals right are correct but the OP was up against a skilled adversary.

So why do these people do it? I don't know. Sure in same cases, there is a payoff, the Israeli agent who lured Mordechai Vanunu from London to Rome was perhaps someone with these skills who had a "reason".

Perhaps the amateurs enjoy luring people in knowing that they have a convenient escape route? Or maybe they don't know themselves.

Perhaps the best defence is to understand and watch out for the mixed signals. Don't rely on "communication" - they are very "good" at that.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
The Unknown Bar Patron Vs. The Male Acquaintence
Posted: 11/20/2008 9:48:48 AM

omen who need 'rescuing'...especially if they're pretty...can be exhausting in the long run. If she shows patterns of this behaviour, then I'd make a mad dash, but you may choose to stick around, if she's really cute.


Good point!
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
The Unknown Bar Patron Vs. The Male Acquaintence
Posted: 11/20/2008 9:46:26 AM

I would suggest that she is either a VERY huggy person (watch how she greets others) or she is interested in you and you are far too slow at picking up signals


 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Am I paranoid or do all guys move too fast with me?
Posted: 11/19/2008 9:36:40 AM
A "first meeting" with someone from POF or some other "blind" or "near blind" date is NOT a date.

On a real date, there are no right or wrong answers. Here are some *observations*

- If the guy makes no attempt to get physical, the girl may think he isn't interested. Some men know this.
- Another possible outcome of the guy not attempting to get physical is that the girl will
- Communication between the sexes is pretty hit and miss. Do NOT expect the other person to read your mind.
- Stuff like the guy asking "may I kiss you?" or the girl asking for a kiss only happens in peculiar parts of Hollywood

In the real world, a guy on a date who is interested, must try stuff like hand holding and/or kissing
He has to be prepared to have these advances rejected.
The classy girl who doesn't want things to go further knows all of the above and will repel the advances with minimum amount of fuss.
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Is he telling me something?
Posted: 11/17/2008 12:39:55 PM

I have constatntly been explaining to him of my situation just as a matter of courtesy


It's bad enough being told by a woman that she can't see you because of blah blah. Being told constantly makes most men run!


What I don't buy is not having time, even just a minute for a touch base


I do!
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Is he Interested or not?
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:23:18 AM

How is she playing him?


See the points highlighted in my post!


Why would any woman want to play him? He doesn't sound like he has much to offer.


The OP did say "Not that I don't want to rip his clothes off" !!!!!
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is he telling me something?
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:18:11 AM

Do not answer his calls and call him 7 days after he last called you. Say sorry i was so busy, i did not have time to call you. Offer no explanation. If you do not hear from him again, then you know he was a jerk


......or that he's not into games
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is he telling me something?
Posted: 11/15/2008 5:12:26 PM

I told him that I was having some car trouble (brakes) and that I will try to get it fixed by the following weekend, and because of this, we were unable to meet. Unfortunately, it's going to cost me thousands of dollars to get it all done, money I don't have at the moment. He wasn't happy to hear it


I would be unhappy to hear it too. Brake problems on a car rarely cost thousands of dollars. If, after shopping around, it really will cost that much, scrap it, do NOT use it to go any distance at all and buy a cheap secondhand car. Or surely you can travel to see him by bus/rail/rental car for $100 or so?

If he posted his experiences here, people would tell him you were "just not that into him"
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Is he Interested or not?
Posted: 11/15/2008 11:42:59 AM

He chased me a bit before I finally gave him my phone number.

I grow to like him alot but I try to not show it so much.

but usually I go out to sit in his car and we talk.

I've shown him that I would like to take it slow and get to know him first.

So why is it he doesn't ask me out more?

I've already made it clear that we won't be doing it anytime soon. Not that I don't want to rip his clothes off,


Perhaps he's cautious because he feels he's being played?
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
In Love after 7 dates & hes not joking
Posted: 11/13/2008 1:27:38 PM

I would not leave the safety of my home and get in a car with a man who terrifies me 4 times!


Yet this sort of thing happens. Women date, live with, marry and go back to scary men. One very popular explanation is that the men concerned are extremely skillful and devious.

A different explanation comes from Erin Pizzey who "founded the first refuge for battered wives in 1971". She has the unpopular view that SOME wowen are attracted to dangerous situations.

Her book on the subject "Prone to Violence" can be read here
http://www.bennett.com/ptv/
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
The definition of dating
Posted: 11/9/2008 8:33:09 AM

I am amazed that people can jump into the sack and swap bodily fluids with someone they hardly know! Is it that whole Sex in the City mentality?


No, it's the "swinging sixties" metality. It never happend before then
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
The definition of dating
Posted: 11/9/2008 4:29:57 AM
Well, two teenage friends of mine say they are "dating" and I didn't notice any crumbs in the 2 sheets they used when they visited me.....
 goodglosguy
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Being harrassed by men looking at my profile...HELP!!!
Posted: 11/8/2008 6:13:38 AM

I don't want to block anyone though because then it causes hate messages about me to be posted in the forums


Has that actualy happened? (Doesn't happen to me) Report offending posts and they should be removed.
 
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