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Joined: 7/17/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Do you ask if his/her parents are still alive? Posted: 4/10/2013 7:01:49 AM
JeepHarley ... "Once a man, twice a child!" Soooo true! Walts... Are you saying you would never again do what you did with your own Mother???? Are you questioning because you now have time to "look back". And are you really, truely, proclaiming(and believing) "you had no life" those two years????? I'm an only Walts. She lived 2.5 hours from where I lived. There was no one to help me, as I was working full time taking care a of a son and a depressed husband. Did I have a life during those 2 years. No. I was a non existent entity that only worked and care gave. When each day drew to a close I fell into bed to get up the next morning and do it all over again. Would I do it again? With my mom? Of course I would, because no one else would. As her child, I felt it was my duty to take care of her. However, to have her live with me full time with Alzheimer's. No. I did that for 3 months, prior to finding an amazing home to take care of her. Would I want my children to keep me when I was older. No. Everyone is entitled to a life. You only get one, so if you revert back to your second child hood (as the first quote says), do not be so selfish to think that your children are not entitled to their one shot at adulthood. My children have been informed that I am to be placed in the same nursing home if that ever happens to me. As for the individuals who do take care of their parents, God bless you. Just make sure that you are not impacting the other people around you, who also need you. Such as your children.

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Msg: 13 (view)

Do you ask if his/her parents are still alive? Posted: 4/9/2013 7:51:52 PM
I don't understand why people are so selfish and cold You can't colour it just black and white. There are so many other shades. Every child was raised differently, and carries different emotions towards their parents. And to add onto that live in different situations. Someone who is single, with a full time job and watching children cannot provide what you can. A child who has been physically or sexually abused by their parents cannot assume the caregiver role. There are too many scenarios to ponder.

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Msg: 7 (view)

Do you ask if his/her parents are still alive? Posted: 4/9/2013 6:32:45 PM
Import ... Kudos to you for working it out with your sister. Not many siblings discuss this prior too. And I do understand the desire to pay back. Myself, I'm an only child, I've been there, and I am way too drained to do it again. Today I looked in my clients eyes, and I can see the despair. It is not an easy task to be the caregiver. Bogie ... Boy, we add red flags around here on a daily basis... Sad. Not quite sure how to take this. If you've never been a caregiver, then you wouldn't understand what is entailed.

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Msg: 3 (view)

Do you ask if his/her parents are still alive? Posted: 4/9/2013 5:46:30 PM
Thanks Blonde. Many people view nursing homes as a horrible place to be. I don't. If you choose wisely (which I did) it benefits everyone involved. You have more time to concentrate on the child, which needs your attention more then your parent does. However each society/culture views this differently. I did what was right for me and my son.

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Msg: 1 (view)

Do you ask if his/her parents are still alive? Posted: 4/9/2013 5:40:56 PM
I had a coffee with a client today. She’s 64, had put an advertisement in the paper for a man 10 years ago and married him. The marriage is working out very well. She asked if he had children, which he didn’t. She never asked if he had parents. Well now the parents are a concern. The father is 92, and the stepmother is 86. They both still live in their own home a good 4 hours away. The father has dementia, and the stepmother is suffering with her health. Although she still drives. This is VERY difficult on my client. At our age we step away from our parenting roles, and start to live for ourselves. However … if we have parents, we end up stepping right back into the parenting of our parents role. This can be EXTREMELY difficult. When this starts, it can consume our lives. I know when my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s I became part of the sandwich society. My son on one end (as he was a young teenager) and my mother on the other end. I had NO life. That situation lasted 2 years. I now have my mother in a nursing home. She is well taken care of, I see her often, and I can breathe. When the time comes for her departure, all has been put in place and everything should run smoothly. Knowing what I know now, I would ask a potential mate about his parents. Would you?

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Msg: 4 (view)

How to break up with someone you still have feeling for? Posted: 4/9/2013 5:25:27 PM
^^^^ Reread this. I can't add on anything more. My goodness ... you are only 20. WAY too young to be caring such a burden.

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Msg: 3 (view)

How annoying is tickertape scrolling on a web page Posted: 4/9/2013 4:20:03 PM
As a web designer I don't use it. I find it distracting and low class. None of my clients would benefit from it. The reason the tickertape is there is because ANYONE can create a website. Just line ANYONE can cook. However, do you want a macaroni and cheese dinner, or a lovely roast beef with all the fixings. Same for flash.

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Msg: 9 (view)

What Does It Take To Be a Good Wife / Husband? Posted: 4/9/2013 5:51:43 AM
What does it take or involve being a good wife or husband? Interdependence. And what are YOUR responsibilities? Whatever is agreed upon between the two of us.

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Msg: 10 (view)

Virgin at 23 Posted: 4/8/2013 7:41:15 PM
It's really not a big deal. When your time comes it will happen.

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Msg: 9 (view)

Blue balls: Your experience with it? Posted: 4/7/2013 7:22:23 PM
Blue balls are very real - and from what I saw intensely painful. OK, but I like his answer ... Sorry ladywyatt, not a fable. That being said I do not hold anyone accountable for them, and it is solely my issue to deal with.

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Msg: 9 (view)

How many women have actually dated or married a man, who was beneath them financially? Posted: 4/7/2013 6:35:56 PM
I married a man who came in with nothing and left with nothing. Thank God for prenatal agreements.

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Msg: 4 (view)

Blue balls: Your experience with it? Posted: 4/7/2013 6:31:55 PM
I'm 55, and NEVER have I come across some man crying "Blue Balls". Do you do that?

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Msg: 18 (view)

Is he uptight about sex? Posted: 4/7/2013 5:01:12 PM
Yes, he kinda is a little chunky, but I dont care about that. Maybe he does. I know when I'm on the chunky side, I feel self conscious. Best bet is communication ... with him. Not us. Good luck!

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Joined: 7/17/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

I sometimes wear fake breasts Posted: 4/7/2013 4:55:34 PM
OK ... you can wear whatever you want. However if you go out in public wearing fake breasts ... of course people are going to think your a nut bar. If I went out in public with a jock strapped to my front end, don't you think I'd get a couple of strange stares? Do whatever you need to do in private. Case closed.

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Msg: 3 (view)

I love dating older men but ... Posted: 4/7/2013 4:52:42 PM
You're 26 and you're complaining that men 30 years of age don't want to date you??? Really?

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Msg: 4 (view)

Is he uptight about sex? Posted: 4/7/2013 11:00:44 AM
Is he on the chunky side?

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Msg: 4 (view)

FWB or maybe more? Posted: 4/7/2013 10:59:14 AM
Msg 2 is correct. Unfortunately OP, you are his weekend fling. Just imagine what he's doing throughout the week. Hopefully you are using protection.

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Msg: 10 (view)

Why do so many women do this? Posted: 4/4/2013 5:59:23 PM
Then use this one ... Why not ask them out for another date BEFORE the current date concludes? Be specific time/day/place.

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Msg: 2 (view)

Why do girls add me to their favourites and not say anything Posted: 4/4/2013 5:54:41 PM
May I suggest .. Profile Review. It would help.

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Joined: 7/17/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Need a Man's Advice Posted: 4/4/2013 5:52:22 PM
Wow .. what different thoughts. And each one good in their own right. Back to the same question.

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Msg: 3 (view)

Need a Man's Advice Posted: 4/4/2013 5:39:15 PM
Personally ... I would. If you just drop the ball now, you will never know. And it will eat at you. For a V E R Y L O N G TIME. That would suck. If you contact him ... you will know. Be prepared for closure. Good luck.

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Msg: 3 (view)

Why are there so many women my age who want a biker? Posted: 4/2/2013 6:52:33 PM
You are searching out the wrong women OP.

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Msg: 4 (view)

Initiate or forget? Posted: 4/2/2013 6:51:49 PM
If a girl invites you home and into her bed ... it is for one purpose only. And you did not provide. I think you are toast.

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Msg: 9 (view)

Do all women over 50 cringe when they hear the word SEX !! Posted: 4/2/2013 6:21:43 PM
With an attitude like that ... I can see why you are a life long bachelor. AND you will continue to be one until you change your thought process. Stop picking these types of women.

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Joined: 7/17/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Calling out your name during sex? Posted: 4/1/2013 6:26:06 PM
Duck tape can be your best friend.

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Msg: 30 (view)

Woman's advice. What kind of sexy pictures do I send? Posted: 3/29/2013 9:51:25 PM
Content aside, you are likely to get into big trouble for sending this kind of stuff while at work, especially if you are using work email to do it. Many workplaces monitor emails and pick up on things like this. I certainly wouldn't risk it, even if I was into sending pictures like this (which I'm not, incidentally). ^^^ That comment made me think of a colleague I used to work with. He send some nude shots (of women) to a friend of his. However, he did a typo and it ended up in an executives email box. Two week suspension. Yup ... be careful you send it correctly.

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Joined: 7/17/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Would you hire a escort to gain sexual experience Posted: 3/29/2013 9:40:40 PM
To the 26 year old virgin ... workout and get in killer shape. update your wardrobe, with help from a consultant if needed. learn to dance. learn to be more out going. become more confident in your self... set and achieve some goals. women would not be so quick to turn down a smart, confident, well dressed, 6 pack abs guy that can dance... even if he is a virgin. plus the money you spend on those things would be an investment in your self, rather than something you would want to hide from any future dates. YUP! billingsmason said it perfectly! Follow that list, you would spend less, and it would be an INVESTMENT in yourself. Women would be standing in line to meet someone like you.

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Msg: 13 (view)

What questions would you add? Posted: 3/29/2013 9:30:57 PM
It does not matter what questions you ask ... an individual without integrity will not answer it correctly.

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Msg: 5 (view)

We see a lot of topics about cheating, bu what about betrayal? Posted: 3/29/2013 9:16:20 PM
Betrayal (or backstabbing) is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals, between organizations or between individuals and organizations. Often betrayal is the act of supporting a rival group, or it is a complete break from previously decided upon or presumed norms by one party from the others. Someone who betrays others is commonly called a traitor or betrayer. Betrayal is also a commonly used literary element and is often associated with or used as a plot twist. That would hurt far more, as this is not just the act of a partner, but of a friend.

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Msg: 46 (view)

Bf rarely wants sex Posted: 3/29/2013 6:38:57 AM
He tells me he won't go see a therapist with me. Every time I try to talk to him about it, he basically tells me he is how he is and he won't change :( So it is NOT going to change. He has a low sex drive, and you have a high sex drive. Two totally uncompatable individuals in the bedroom. You should have taken this into account prior to becoming pregnant. Either accept it, or move on.

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Msg: 6 (view)

Ladies would you date a virgin man Posted: 3/28/2013 8:53:27 PM
Some will ... some won't. Lots of links given to appease you for the rest of the evening.

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Msg: 11 (view)

Help me with my marriage I'm hurt Posted: 3/28/2013 8:50:50 PM
End it. This is not making anyone happy. Your all playing foolish high school games. Either ... Get out, and get yourself a counselor, so you can better yourself and find happiness Or Stay there, shut your mouth and live in misery. Choose wisely. Because who you marry constitutes 90% of your misery or happiness.

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Msg: 6 (view)

Non-religious = red flag? Posted: 3/26/2013 5:40:43 PM
I used to be religious. If you were brought up in religion ... you really don't question it. You just buy into it. My 2nd husband was agnostic. I started really listening to what he had to say, and it made a lot of sense. I am now spiritual. Religion is man made, and boy do we know the damage that man has done. I wouldn't limit yourself just to non religious partners. Although Drew ... It may be a concern that who you marry will want to bring up your child within the church. As most mothers take on the role of spiritual upbringing. Will that work for you? Just stay clear of the bible thumpers. Otherwise you should be OK.

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Msg: 3 (view)

What do you think? Posted: 3/26/2013 5:34:30 PM
What meds you on? <=== That would be my question.

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Msg: 29 (view)

Talking with two guys Posted: 3/26/2013 2:51:44 PM
^^^ LOL!!!! At 22. Holy shit!

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Msg: 30 (view)

Hmmm red flag ? Posted: 3/26/2013 2:46:58 PM
Many people on here are NOT who they profess to be. And you have just found one. ANYONE who invites you to their house (whether it be male or female) for a first meet, are likely looking for sex.

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Msg: 7 (view)

How to handle these requests... Posted: 3/26/2013 2:43:12 PM
As SOON as a man starts on the topic of sex, tell him there is a time and place for it. And the time is ... NOT RIGHT NOW. If he continues on, then you sign out. If you are having difficulty with the signing out part you best figure out why you let yourself be abused like that. Therapy?

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Msg: 3 (view)

How to know when to change yourself, or when to find a suitable match. Posted: 3/26/2013 11:24:42 AM
It would be best if YOU figure out why you have a clingy/needy mindset. And because us formites told you, does not make it so. You need an expert to provide you with that information AND how to change it. NO ONE wants a to date a clingy/needy person. A clingy person has a dependent nature to them. They will normally match up with a co-dependent. That makes a recipe for disaster. I think a professional therapist would be the way to go.

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Msg: 38 (view)

Exclusivity... after one date Posted: 3/24/2013 7:33:23 PM
Anyone who jumps in so quickly, has a few screws loose. Drama's not fun. You made the right choice!

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Msg: 2 (view)

Intimate Encounters and contact Posted: 3/24/2013 9:27:20 AM
Unfortunately, you get banned for INITIATING CONTACT with someone listed for an Intimate Encounter FOUR times Good try. Would you like to rephrase your thread?

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Msg: 6 (view)

Dating Ex-Spouse Posted: 3/24/2013 7:07:54 AM
Times change ... people change. Maybe you both have learned and are now able to have a good relationship.

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Msg: 10 (view)

Does no experience prior dating leave me at a disadvantage? Posted: 3/23/2013 12:35:43 PM
^^^^ LOL You need to step out of your fantasy world and live in reality. Or ... join a religious dating site.

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Msg: 6 (view)

Fella went back to his ex Posted: 3/22/2013 8:31:41 PM
It's the devil you know verses the devil you don't. Sounds like some codependency is happening there. Count your blessings.

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Msg: 6 (view)

he got someone else pregnant Posted: 3/22/2013 8:26:50 PM
From looking at your profile ... Is that your son? Is the son from this man? And my goodness ... you are so young to be involved in this drama. I think you better find some emotional help to make a break from this man. Counseling would be very beneficial.

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Msg: 3 (view)

Does no experience prior dating leave me at a disadvantage? Posted: 3/21/2013 9:19:50 PM
I have this so called love shyness issue I research online, and pretty have much prevented me from dating. That needs to be dealt with. As soon as that is dealt with your self esteem will improve. In order to move out of your shyness seek out a Toastmasters group. In one years time you will have mastered your shyness. Stay on the internet if you like and it will get easier to more you learn to reach out.

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Msg: 12 (view)

Are Online daters less mentally stable than those you meet from real life? Posted: 3/21/2013 9:13:29 PM
If you're in the forums you read a lot of strange stuff that happens on POF. A lot of them are crazy, or individuals who are just starting out and not ready to date. I would say the percentage is high. Where else can people play for free?

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Msg: 3 (view)

Faithful Posted: 3/21/2013 8:56:56 PM
Why do you ask?

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Msg: 4 (view)

Is is better to reply no thanks or nothing at all? Posted: 3/21/2013 1:56:54 PM
No response = not interested. It is easier that way.

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Msg: 3 (view)

Being a virgin Posted: 3/21/2013 1:54:55 PM
Lou ... You are 21 years old and on a dating website??? Why? If my 22 year old son was on a dating website, I would ask him what the hell he was doing? Get a life Lou. Go out an meet people in REAL life. Not here. Online dating is not an easy task, and there are a lot of people who are not who they say they are. This is NOT the avenue for you. Being a virgin at the age of 21 is not a crime. If YOU have an issue with that, then hire a woman to loose it with. What you are having an issue with is your arm. That is what is keeping you down. YOUR thoughts on NOT having an arm. So fix them. Find a good councilor/therapist to talk to. One that will help you feel better about yourself Nothing will change until you address your issues with who you are.

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Msg: 5 (view)

Is he just scared of commitment or using me till someone better comes along? Posted: 3/21/2013 1:35:42 PM
People lie. They do it on here ALL the time. He says he is actively seeking a relationship and wants to get married. You really believe that? He's a lucky dude in his books. He's not dating you, but he is doing you. And yes ... the word we use for that is Friends With Benefits. This is high school drama. Remove yourself from it and you will feel sooooo much better.

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