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farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 439 (view)

Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles? Posted: 6/3/2006 9:53:56 AM
men do....boys dont.

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

what should i do? Posted: 5/10/2006 11:06:40 AM
She obviously doesnt know what love is if she has told you that, then left! Give her space and time, If she really meant it, she'll be back. In the mean time, get out and keep busy, dont necessarily look for another woman, but youd be suprised what you come across when youre not looking. Good luck. FB68

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

second chances.....yes or no? Posted: 5/9/2006 12:59:01 PM
Depends just how awkward it was, If i feel I have to be a circus monkey and entertain her all evening, then Im probably not interested in a second date either. The first date should be about two people finding out more about each other, and the fact you have been emailing over a period of time should give you an insight of things to talk about. nervouseness is normal, and will get easier with time.

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

Do you consider yourself a gentleman? Posted: 5/9/2006 12:51:53 PM
I think peoples actions, show their true character, therefore, kind compassionate men will be that way to people generally all the time, and not just to a select person. If it is selective, this could mean a hidden agenda. Black/White/zRed/Yellow, dont think it matters although how they grew up and their environment may be an issue.

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

your opinion wanted-separation Posted: 3/22/2006 1:09:48 PM
Well folks, heres a little update for you, after being off work for 2 weeks, and beating myself up that i had not spent enough tim ewith her, and the isolation of her being out of the city, i spoke with a few of her friends from her baseball team. It seems that over the past 12 years, she has slept with many guys at tournaments to the point where she has a reputation and nicknamed "bicycle' from what i was told. i heard this Sunday night. I was just beginning to feel better and thought i would give her some space and time and see what happens over the next year. When i found out this stuff, I went livid! I wished someone, friend or no friend had have said something sooner, like after the first time it happened. I am now taking care of financial issues etc myself. I did send her an email telling her i knew and how hurt i was, no name calling or anything, but for me its over. there is no way i'd EVER take her back. Her reasons are scapegoats, I do believe she has someone new due to the 3 pages of text messages on last c-phone bill, and like other threads going on here right now, i believe the grass wont be greener, and its just a spot for her to land from running from this. I never was abusive, tried to make her feel sexy, even though she was 65lbs over weight and not happy with her weight which i beleieve led to self esteem issues. Her friends informed me that anyone who showed interest in her, she would latch onto for the weekend. When she would be drunk and making out with them, they would try to remind her of being married, and she would brush it off as harmless. Turns out when the "girls" all went in on rooms at the tournaments, she rarely slept in that room and was no where to be found. So, no i am kinda back where i statred, new wounds to heal. I had NO idea this was going on. I beleieve her guilt may have finally caught up with her. I didnt do anything to deserve this....and definitely deserve better. Time will tell

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

your opinion wanted-separation Posted: 3/14/2006 6:55:52 PM
Thanks SS. I know i will get over it. Am new to this site, and i think it helped just putting it on the forum. So to all who reponded, thanks. I am looking for chat friends, nothing sexual, just friends, someone who i can email back and forth to fill up some time, m/f doesnt matter, just looking to network. Drop me a line if interested. And with that, i will put this sad story to sleep. Again thx everyone, i hope you never have to go through this. A

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

your opinion wanted-separation Posted: 3/14/2006 6:22:32 PM
i will have to look into that....I really dont know at thispoint if it will help or hurt more. Thanks

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

your opinion wanted-separation Posted: 3/14/2006 4:43:58 PM
No she didnt, i think she was too smart for that, but i jus checked the last c-phone bill, and a lto of text messages sent and received. I haveny a clue if you can get a copy or anything from a text messgae. Also, she has computer at work so thats where i think she could do it from. No strange calls to the house

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

your opinion wanted-separation Posted: 3/14/2006 4:24:12 PM
we are in the country so only regular dial up, but she had high speed dial up at work

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

your opinion wanted-separation Posted: 3/14/2006 3:07:24 PM
well she used to drive all over the place before while we were still dating, baseball is a big thing to her, we were also trying to have kids, we have been going to a specialist and she has been having minor exploratory operations. Her family thinks this has something to do with it. When she was talking to me, it was like someone else was feeding her words so i knew it didnt sound like her. She told me on a weds night, left thurs morning for work. She asked if it was alright to stay here until end of March (this was on Feb 22) but said she had a noption to stay in an apartment owned by her company. I tild her it may be better to stay in the apartment, so things with us didnt degrade. She then went and played in a snow pitch tournament on the weekend. Didnt miss a day of work, i was down and out for 21/2 weeks! I do realize my not spendnig time with her was a contributing factor, and by god and sonny jesus i would change that if i could, but its out of my hands.

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

your opinion wanted-separation Posted: 3/14/2006 2:40:31 PM
Well it was my choice, we bought an old farm house, are fixing it up, she told me she wanted to do this as well, she moved up 41/2 years ago, this was her first time away from home, we stayed in touch with her parenst and family and went down at least every other month, she said she was adjusting and liked the peace and quiet. She played alot of baseball beofre we moved, and i never stopped her from going down on weekends when i worked.

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

your opinion wanted-separation Posted: 3/14/2006 11:51:25 AM
Thank God there wasnt any kids involved! I really dont know, she said she was tired of living her life for everyone else, I think there mey be someone else, alot of text messaging on the last c-phone bill. She has alot of friends who are going through seperation/divorce, i think that has been her network of advice, so obviously that didnt help. i was somewhat of a workacholic, this has really re-prioritized my life. I dont know if she was felling trapped? She was born and raised city, me country. We live in the country, but only 1.5 hrs from the city so its not like we are isolated, however she was at homeuntil 29 then lived with me. I do think that may have alot to do with it, maybe some maturity issues. Im at a loss...

farmboy1968

Joined: 3/8/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

your opinion wanted-separation Posted: 3/14/2006 11:08:13 AM
Heres my story, i dated a woman for 6 years, we married and it would have been 6 years this may. In february, she sat me down stated she wasnt happy and left the next morning, wants a divorce. I always treated her well, she says she wants to move back to the City and party, and do spur of the moment things. I never stopped her from going to the city or doing anything she ever wanted to do, i admit we should have spent more time together doing things, but when i asked her about counselling, she wanted nothing to do with it. I havent heard naything from her, other than email asking to come by and pick up some things to which i made sure i wasnt there so as not to make things worse. My question, am i handling this the right way? Hurts like hell, feel cheated as i have spent 12 years with her, we were planning to have kids and now she tells me she is happy with not having them. Im 38 and feel cheated that i could have spent the time with someone who really wants (as opposed to her just telling me she wanted) the same things. I realize time heals, but F*&^, this one has sent me for a loop. I came on here at the urging of friends who assure me illf ind someone and move on, and theres still plenty of fish i the tank. When i read about the married ones looking to cheat, makes me feel sick, as i know that their or their partnes hurts are probably not too far off. what happened to trust and communication? Wwhy would these people not spend that energy and time and intimacy on their spouses? Any questions/comments/advice would be great, i think i needed to vent, thx for that.

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