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Joined: 7/31/2009

Msg: 63 (view)

Decoding the Female Language Posted: 8/14/2009 11:53:44 AM
I agree with you.

Joined: 7/31/2009

Msg: 77 (view)

Long Distance Relationships? Posted: 8/12/2009 10:39:14 PM
Well, Cant say I havent done one of those. What a downer! Here is the truth: the distance wasnt a problem before, something is going on. The emails just dont stop, and then you have to pry to find out what is going on, or why he is losing hope. I dont really think these things work like we like to think- writing letters, long distance romance, all that jazz. If you had been together, and then one of you had to move for work, family or military, there is a chance, but other than that, how? I think there really has to be SERIOUS commitment to make it last. How long have you been dating?

Joined: 7/31/2009

Msg: 134 (view)

Why R they so Critical? Posted: 8/12/2009 10:25:41 PM
Ok, I have a theory about this one, hear me out. I think it is the combination of your insecurities as a couple that are causing you distress- his, that you may be more talented than him- aka (feeling of not living up to a percieved standard) and yours, hearing the problem with your artwork rather than the complement. You need to speak up. It may piss you off, but if you come up with a funny comback, it could lighten the mood for both of you. Its not too late. The two of you could be out at a gallery for example, admiring a Rembrandt or something, he says, "its so beautiful" and you say, "nah, it needs more Orange." Then punch his arm and smile. Be a friend too. This goes for other things too- there isnt a really long statute of limitations here, but even a couple of weeks could help you think up a way to address it. It will come faster with time and practice.

Joined: 7/31/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Should I call my ex-gf one year after break-up? Shes single and I love her, but..? Posted: 8/12/2009 8:06:56 AM
Have you asked yourself why do you want to call her? What are you hoping to get out of it? What are you actually going to get out of it? Do you think there is a reason you havent spoken since the breakup? Who did all the work of the relationship before? Who was left for someone else? Who hasnt been called or contacted by this other person since the breakup? Who has been thinking about this person for the past 10 months even though they got burned? Getting her back isnt going to make anything better for the long term, and will make you twice the fool if you get left again. I think its a good idea for you to be looking for dates on this website, I would also suggest starting on a hobby that you have been putting off for a long time, something just for you. You need to stop concerning yourself with "her pain" she brought this on herself, let her handle it!

Joined: 7/31/2009

Msg: 167 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 8/12/2009 7:35:26 AM
Ah, ha ha. ha ha ha. Well, since my hair controls most of what I do, it forces me to be picky. It told me not to cut it, ever, unless its a trim- and it makes most of the big decisions around here. I asked it what it thought of your question, but it didnt reply to me, either. So, good luck!

Joined: 7/31/2009

Msg: 59 (view)

Can poisonous people change? Posted: 8/10/2009 4:33:25 PM
You need to ask, "what is motivating the desire to change?" Apparently, she didnt value you enough the first time to work at her problems. I wouldnt see her, if I were you. You are a nice looking guy, and Im sure have something to offer someone ELSE!! These types of changes are best done when a person has time and energy to work on themselves, and not try to place it in the context of a relationship, if you really want her, give it time and allow her to be alone while she "works things out" In the meantime, you need to ask what got you sucked in a relationship that had those kind of issues, and if you have had others like it, maybe what needs to be done so you can be healthy. If she is already messing with your psyche do the right thing and let her go, you can do it nicely by saying " I want you to have all your energy to work on your problems," and in the meantime do some dating, so your self esteem will improve, who knows who you would meet?

Joined: 7/31/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

How much baggage is to much?? ...But you love them.. Posted: 8/10/2009 4:12:51 PM
Ok, so a few years back I met this "wonderful guy" who seemed to be looking for the same thing I was and it didnt take much for me to commit. After a short time, he revealed that he had a lot of what others would call "baggage." As a compassionate person, I couldnt leave him to let him face it alone. A year later, I would find that all of these ailments, and issues with other people, were things he had fabricated to keep me from leaving out of some sense responsiblity. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO RESCUE ANYONE, ESPECIALLY A MAN!!!!! Men have to be men and deal with their issues. If you are honestly asking yourself this question it may already be too late. Do both of you a favor and step back for a few weeks to see how this person handles things on their own. You may find a pattern of choices that were unhealthy, and you are the next victim! Anyone who is truly looking for help shouldnt be depending on one person, but have a network of friends and/or family to help--- here are some red flags: Asking you to keep dangerous secrets, asking you for money, showing up unannounced, having "symptoms" of a disease at very convienient times, having no other friends, having multiple ex-wives, and exfiances who he doesnt speak to. How long have you known this person? If these characterize the person in question, RUN!

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