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Thread: Should mom tell on cheating future son-in-law and lose her job

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Should mom tell on cheating future son-in-law and lose her job Posted: 10/7/2009 1:40:43 PM
I detect a bogus scenario that is never likely to take place in our reality with a probability of 99.99% certainty.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

new g/f cant handle her alcohol Posted: 10/5/2009 1:33:34 AM
Find a novice drinker, sic. cheap drunk who is unable to handle more than two dainty glasses before keeling over with delerium tremens while talking to the walls. These are the better type of women deserving your utmost respect since they know less is more in the long run before everything goes pear shaped.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 84 (view)

Is it true that ALL Scorpios are totally concerned with SEX?? Posted: 9/28/2009 1:10:47 PM
Is it true that all astrologically bent people are flakes?

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 119 (view)

Best tv show...ever Posted: 9/28/2009 12:27:56 AM
My new vote is for Fringe, worthy successor to X-files which will find its new home here. I plan on stalking the cast very soon as an under-paid paparazzi.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 162 (view)

Absolute Favorite books Posted: 9/7/2009 1:48:50 AM
A few from the cannon: Moby****br>Henry IV The Lorax Don Quixote Crime and Punishment Catch 22 Essays by Montaigne Fearful Symmetry The Importance of Being Ernest Faust....etc..

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Running Hot and Cold Posted: 8/20/2009 12:43:06 PM
Everyone wants to be wanted more deperately than they are prepared to give out though they would have you believe otherwise. Give the person space to breathe and they will return to you when ready or not at all. This doesn't sound like any sort of relationship anyway if you neither see nor hear from him for a month.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 88 (view)

Hot enough for ya? Posted: 8/10/2009 11:25:51 PM
I hope you're happy. Now look what you've all done.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

I get too nervous to go on dates so I always cancel Posted: 8/6/2009 11:40:32 PM
I get performance anxiety over dates that why I prefer to call them appointments to give them a kind of officious bland sounding lacklustre commonplace mediocrity. The nevousness should subside afterwards, providing you can fool yourself well enough that it isn't a date at all. You can always rely on the interview technique to bail you out by pretending the date should be rigorously examined by upper management (you) for all defects for an important position as future scapegoat for when things go dramatically wrong. That should go over extremely well and provide some self-entertainment! Happy hunting....

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

How might Extraterrestrial's contact humans ? Posted: 7/28/2009 12:52:14 PM
The might have already reached us through the guise of Tom Cruise and Scientology.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

what's with guys lacking initiative? Posted: 7/22/2009 5:25:34 PM
Men like to hold on to the illusion of leadership, however fragile that might be. Perhaps you're an organizer and in control of things, a real matriarch. The best way to get am man to do something you want them to do is to make them come up with it in the first place. Then you'll have him eating out of the palm of your hand. Good luck getting there though.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 285 (view)

How important is chivalry in an relationship to you? Posted: 7/20/2009 1:40:29 AM
A chivalrous woman is a frightening conquistador you run away from very fast.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 107 (view)

The tolerant and the less-tolerant Posted: 7/3/2009 7:05:22 PM
Tolerence breeds contempt. In the thought vacuumn, the wishy washy ones can be exploited by their corporate owners or blow which way the wind blows while they compacently believe their meekly humble opinions, or lack of them, as worthwhile or worthless as the next person's. Generally, if you like your own thoughts, you should be ready to do battle with them.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Dumbing down your profile Posted: 6/29/2009 9:16:33 PM
This is wonderful, a valuable lesson to be learned. Never back a misspeller in a corner. They will commit even the most fantastic lies to justify what they consider to be their their spelling prowess. As it has been demonstrated by the most erudite of spellers, spelling is a major cause of intelligence and we all know how attractive that is.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

A Guide To Relationship Brownie Points Posted: 6/29/2009 1:36:35 PM
I thought the brownie point system disappears after Brownies! It seems I have been misinformed.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Do you prefer hints or just to be told straight up? Posted: 6/18/2009 10:07:56 PM
I can't take a hint unless you clobber me with it. It must be a guy thing. I usually leave women to plot subtleties.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Smells Posted: 6/10/2009 12:15:16 AM
This is a very thought provoking topic. We tend to be primarily visual creatures and our olofactory powers would likely be less stunted were we otherwise. Amphora pipe tobacco and Harris tweed-Grampa Joy Perfume-Mum Moth balls-childhood explorations of the attic junkyard Yellow Broom fragrance-Springtime Outboard engine exhaust and brine-salmon trolling with dad. *Other undiscernable scents trigger memories and tend to link past with present.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

Shocked! how can someone be so demoralising! Posted: 6/4/2009 11:57:26 PM
So you like this guy enough to make a fuss over him? It don't see what is wrong with his superficial preferences. Some people only date obese midgets and I'm sure there's a category of anorexia giantess lovers out there too. Just don't worry your head over these refined connoisseurs. They are in the minority assuredly!

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 233 (view)

What do you find beautiful? Posted: 6/2/2009 10:16:40 PM
Handicapped people singing.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

I need a man's opinion Posted: 6/2/2009 9:36:15 PM
Oh what I would give for a case of nontalkingitus! I need to become a sponge, one of those active listeners who never utters anything and hangs upon another's words for surety. The man you speak of is a veritable blessing in disguise. Consider yourself lucky to have the strong silent type within arms reach every several moons. Most would prefer this to insufferable blather about sports, man mobiles, man toys and tools most women have to feign interest in to support with kindness the interests of their 'men'.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 157 (view)

what do men consider overweight? Posted: 6/2/2009 1:09:24 PM
Without any prejudice you can calculate your body mass index. This well tell you whether you are within the acceptable normal range of variation or not: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Body_mass_index_chart.svg Obesity is a harmful illness which shouldn't go untreated.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 101 (view)

Sex as a weapon (or at least a tool) Posted: 6/1/2009 9:38:09 PM
Op: What you've got is the wrong sort of partner that will never satisfy your obsessive compusive cleaning kick. Let's face it, your beloved loves grime and filth and can only satisfy someone who enjoys dumpster sex, or in other unclean places. You need a kinky fantasy vixen like a French maid to sterilize and disinfect, wash up, dust the drapes and clean the carpet and give you a bubble bath afterwards.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 108 (view)

Why R they so Critical? Posted: 6/1/2009 9:17:41 PM
Next time tell him jokingly that orange is for losers and you're not going to fall for it for a second. There's nothing better than a good disparaging remark to indicate you don't give a flying foo.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 169 (view)

Any Songs remind you of an ex? Posted: 5/29/2009 1:01:49 AM
The one that plays over and over again like a broken record. Does anyone else remember that song?

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 250 (view)

Your thoughts on nuclear power... Posted: 5/29/2009 12:59:56 AM
Efficient, clean, and very stable. Those who don't have it, want it and those who have it can't be rid of it (for a while). Still the thought of it strikes paranoia in the collective imagination of bleak nuclear reactor meltdowns and worst case scenarios science fiction has prepared ourselves for.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 89 (view)

Is the Seatbelt Law unconstitutional? Posted: 5/29/2009 12:29:30 AM
To divert discussion back to the topic, I've always considered the waistbelt in the middle passenger seat a spinal snapping bad time in a high velocity crash. I'm not sure if this can be scientifically corroborated. I'm all in favor of engineering an ejector seat with a parachute instead. If any of you people at G.M. are listening, get in touch with me okay?

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 282 (view)

What Do Women Want? Posted: 5/26/2009 8:49:42 PM
Women want to change their mind about what they want when they want without any reason for it.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

What is going on? Posted: 5/26/2009 4:14:18 PM
You're a snack. He wants an entree. Find someone who considers you the entree and not the snack. Good luck!

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

your forum posts... Posted: 5/24/2009 11:36:42 PM
Yes we all tend to hide our traits in the company of others we wish to impress or approximate perfection as we see it imperfectly in our own way. I'm more condescending, arrogant, rude and ungentlemanly in real life than I am in my forums. People get a watered down version of everyone's neurosis and idiosyncracies here, I should suspect, and it is a common trick to emulate the tone, style, inflection, speech, and thought processes of the pursued to entice that special someone to like you since they are really falling for a mirror reflection of themselves anyway. In the end the truth will out itself splendidly.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

hmm sex....long,slow,warm,wet,oh fun!! Posted: 5/24/2009 10:58:52 PM
I should think an interset in sex would be a default tendency. Now abstinence is a really specialized interest that is worth mentioning by the cult of virginual brides and grooms to be... and to avoid any future confusion with future expectations. I personally prefer plant love.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

should you tell someone when they are too negative or just not talk or ignore them? Posted: 5/24/2009 3:48:19 PM
There's as much to complain of in life as there is to sing raptures over. It's not so much the style of complaining that I take exception to but repetitious humorless whining by those governed by moods...that is designed to suck the soul straight out of even the most resolute absurdist. Outside, the butterflies are batting their wings sprightly.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 248 (view)

What age is acceptable for a man to be living with his parents? Posted: 5/18/2009 2:45:22 PM
At no age is it acceptable for a man to be living with his parents. A man isn't a man until he has broken free from the charitable refuge of his mommy's nest. Prolonged childhood is symptomatic of our species and should be regarded as a stigma to be despised under the most Machiavelian theories of Social Darwinism. Parents should be ruthless and toss their children out rather than insulate them from the outside world with their dotage.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 329 (view)

Woman won't tell me her last name Posted: 5/18/2009 2:27:42 AM
I beg to differ....I'd have to say she's terrified of you and has a secret life she'd rather not have you interfere with. Possibly, if she hasn't determined you as a potential threat, she is concealing a marriage and a couple of kiddywinks in a house and white picket fence, easily found in the Whitepages were you in posesssion of her surname. I hear that nearly half of the women on dating sites are married housewives anyway commiting mental infidelity to boost a sense of celebrity. Since she is unwilling to disclose her last name to you, she wants to either distance you or have a no strings attached (shallow) relationship with you with the chance to opt out without any trifling nuisances. Additionally, did I mention C.I.A. operative protocols?

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

Stay put or bail?: one month in with a Bipolar young woman Posted: 5/18/2009 1:39:27 AM
At least she isn't a mongoloidian bipolarite. I hear they present even more challenging relationship conundrums for those tempted by the gratification of working to cure the emotionally distressed of their low lows and flights of wild, frothing at the mouth insanity. It's is always good to consult with a scientifically certified exorcist to extract the evil spirits from the patient during her monthly cycle.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Women and faulty photos Posted: 5/18/2009 1:24:32 AM
Yes, but women have vastly improved on men's deceptions with unusual cunning.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Women and faulty photos Posted: 5/18/2009 1:09:23 AM
Women are masters of the art of deception.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Non- Mormon Dating a Mormon Posted: 5/17/2009 1:01:17 PM
I'm more peaked by your notion he entered a rebound marriage. How does such a thing happen? Some people must really leap into the quagmire before looking. I'm also so inclined to believe your suitor's religious convictions can't be at all serious if he jumps from one immortal union consented by God's grace into another rebound union consented by God's grace while God is ever getting ready in his supreme omniscience in preperations to blessedly consent to his third union consented by God's grace! I never could quite understand these holy serial matrimonial relationships in wild succession made any sense at all.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 86 (view)

Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple? Posted: 5/12/2009 9:52:48 PM
Simple people are so smart it's stupid; they are easily dominated, manipulated and controlled to do one's bidding and carry out menial labour and undesirable tasks. The complicated ones are always bickering and wanting to exaggerate their significance/status/value while doing the least to be useful. They are better at giving orders. So long as everyone believes they are one of the latter, the status quo will be maintained and balance and good order will smile upon us all.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

I Swear.... Posted: 5/6/2009 1:32:12 AM
I swear in Shakespearean. You lily livered varlets besmirch the name of harlotry! I so want to sound fucking smart.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Social Anxiety Posted: 5/6/2009 1:28:29 AM
Save your anxiety for nonsocial occasions. Social anxiety is anti-social. (PS. Even though I know you're all talking about me again, forum stalkers.) The best way to ovecome this is to imagine you are not the focal point of everyone's life cinema and slide off into the background and watch anthropologically from your safe bubble what it is that got you into that frame of mind to begin with. I do this when teaching others about public speaking as a method of meditative relaxation.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Coffee Whole Bean Junkies Posted: 5/6/2009 1:15:08 AM
Good morning. Sip some Jamaican Blue Mountain java. Not sure where you can get some. Try Jamaica in the jungled foothills.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

why do some guys ,who want kids ,refuse to date single moms? Posted: 5/6/2009 1:03:31 AM
There are a few terretorial and counterintuitive counterinstinctual problems with dating single moms, regardless of how eligibly intelligent or hot they may be. Problem one: there's always going to be another man in the picture....the father, or you're left to become his inadequate replacement to see to it his genetic material flourishes. It would be unnatural to think otherwise. Problem two: as soon as a woman become a mother she designates that significant other an insignificant other next to the craveling needs of the mewling brood. For most men there's nothing more attractive than avoiding such inattentive divisive love unless determined to enter the foolery of having children of their own.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Chubby but not fat... whats the diff?? Posted: 5/5/2009 10:58:41 PM
If someone says you're gifted it means your a genius. That's incurable incase you don't know, unlike being flabbychops.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

what makes you truely attracted to a woman? Posted: 5/5/2009 12:42:39 AM
A genuine smile and even teeth with clear bright eyes tends to impress me as much as spelling multisyllabic words with ease or charting some debatable curiosity at length until fed up with thinking. Certain people lack certain graces when certain people put on faces.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 174 (view)

Woman gives birth to eight babies..... Posted: 4/26/2009 10:39:45 PM
They say a sow will gobble up the younglings just as soon as they're born.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 67 (view)

Ever wonder... Posted: 4/26/2009 10:37:56 PM
No, I leave that kind of daydreaming to the women. I'm a man of action.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Locked in their thinking Posted: 4/23/2009 11:07:49 PM
Pugnaciousness dogmatism is always disagreeable unless you find yourself in agreement; then you feel that someone has strong moral fortitude and a sense of righteousnes. Even the wishy washy adherents of tolerence are zealots of a different order.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 75 (view)

Your eyes tell so much about you Posted: 4/14/2009 12:01:19 AM
I hate those slanty squinty shifty eyed snot rags with the nervous twitches that flicker over the eyelashes uncontrollably. You can't even trust em to look you in the eye while they're scheming their evil plots to mollest your cat.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 53 (view)

Politicall correct way to end a relationship.... Posted: 4/13/2009 11:53:18 PM
Murder.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

How open are you REALLY to discuss why you're still single? Posted: 4/7/2009 11:28:50 PM
I'm not-single because I'm a repulsive, moronic, arrogant, conceited troglodyte and my foolish girlfriend can't tell the difference because it is her gift to overlook these obvious attributes and see something else entirely hypothetical that must be a figment of her imagination while she takes a figurative trip to Prince Charming land.

Hal 9000

Joined: 3/14/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Maxi Scooter Ride Posted: 4/7/2009 10:33:29 PM
I'd be more into the mod-rocker Vespa thing. The new 50cc S version would do the ticket for some warm weather thrills.

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