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 Author Thread: Here's my situation
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 4:50:05 PM
I changed my status from separated to divorced last Tuesday after we went and filed the papers. As far as I was concerned, it was just a matter of weeks that we would be in front of the judge.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 4:23:46 PM

If it is as you say then you wasted the courts time and lied to the judge to boot because you have to agree that you tried working through your problems already in order to be granted a divorce....


God, I just love know it alls.

I said we filed the papers. Haven't gone to the courts or the judge yet, or even the mediator. And Michigan is a no fault state so you are able to divorce for no reason. I also stated that he wants to rescind the petition.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/23/2009 1:59:20 PM
I don't know, but if you figure it out, please let me know.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 1:52:53 PM
Of course they do. When we separated we discussed with them (or at least the older one) that mommy and daddy were unhappy and that daddy was going to have his own house, yada yada yada.

As far as they know, he spends his nights at "daddy's house".

Like I said, he didn't start seeing her until well after our separation.

and to the poster below, VVV

When it comes to my kids, damn straight I'm overbearing. As well I should be. I'm going to protect my children as much as possible. I certainly don't want to expose them to a situation I believe might hurt them in the long run. Sorry if you don't like that.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 11/23/2009 1:47:59 PM
To the OP, I would like to say that out of 6 surviving brothers and sisters...

oldest sister married 43 years
brother married 37 years
another sister married 30 years
another sister married 25 years
and I'm hoping to keep my marriage of 10 years going.

So, some do last.

Oh, and my husband's grandparents have been married for 62 years.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 1:44:57 PM


sorry but I am finished with this thread.... you are too much.


Wow, sorry you are offended by my desire to protect my children from starting a relationship with a woman I didn't believe would be around for very long. Turns out I was right, though, wasn't I?
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 11/23/2009 1:41:24 PM
There are some that work.

My sister and her husband have been married for 25 years. They have been together for 28, and have known each other for 36 years.

This weekend I spent the night at her house, and as her husband was leaving for work she ran to the window and blew him a kiss and held up one hand and said "I love you this much (meaning an infinite amount, unending). I saw him doing the same thing as he drove by.

As she turned around she said "Every morning we do that". After 25 years of marriage, they still love each other like that.

To me, that's inspirational.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 1:36:16 PM

IF he did sleep at his G/F's, your children probably knew that everything wasn't normal. You haven't provided details, but MANY children know more than their parents sometimes suspect.... even if they don't show it outwardly.


He spent a lot of nights at her house, but still maintained his apartment. When he had the kids he stayed at his apartment. It's obvious they were sleeping together, but we were physically separated at the time, and at the time we believed we were not getting back together. However, I asked him to clear it with me when and if he introduced our kids to her. I told him that if they were still together after the first of the year, I would think about it. She has never met our children.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 12:52:51 PM

Riiiight, but he had no problem hurting your feelings, you know the woman who he has been married to for 10 years and has two children with. If only he had as much consideration for you as he has for her......


Believe me that has been an area of much discussion. Hence the condition.

He considered her an innocent party in all this. And she was, although a stupid innocent party. I mean, come on, who gets involved with a married man 1 month after his separation and doesn't realize she's the rebound girl?
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 12:48:23 PM
Sheesh.

I joined in august, yes. And when he found out he got jealous and we started seeing each other again. At the time my status was separated.

In mid September we decided to get back together and I hid my profile on here. 2 weeks ago I reactivated my account since we broke up again. After we went down to file the divorce papers I changed my status to 'divorced'.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 12:45:46 PM

You begged him to come back and there he was with the other woman. Did you know that he was with her? You best believe if he was with her he was sleeping with her.


When she came to his apartment he didn't sleep with her then. He is a massage therapist and was with a client at the time. It was just seeing her and her being so upset about the breakup still that bothered him.


Don't you find it odd or hurtful that he wouldn't tell his girlfriend why he left her? That in itself should have told you he was planning on getting back with her... DUH!


He said he didn't want her to be hurt, and him getting back with me would devastate her. As I said, as a condition he would have to tell her the truth this time, regardless of her feelings.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 12:29:54 PM
May I ask, when did I ever say he didn't see his kids while we were separated? I said **I** didn't have contact with him, he's been seeing or talking to his kids every day.

We separated originally not because he had a girlfriend, but because of a breakdown of communication. When we started seeing each other again in August we re-discovered why we fell in love in the first place.

We are hardly the first couple to do this.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 11/23/2009 12:26:48 PM
And yet, I'm trying to save my marriage, try to work out our problems and continue as a couple, and I get advice to not take him back.

Interesting, don't you think?

Why is it so many people are so quick to give up on relationships?
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 12:11:02 PM
Just to add...

I did tell him that if I said yes, a condition would be he would have to tell his girlfriend why he's breaking up with her this time. No games, no deception.

He agreed to this.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Here's my situation
Posted: 11/23/2009 12:06:33 PM
My husband and I had a rocky relationship and separated from each other in January of this year.

In August we started seeing each other again although he had gotten a girlfriend and was practically living with her.

After much thought and talking, we decided to get back together. He broke up with his girlfriend and moved back in.

We were working on this for two months and I thought everything was going great.

One of the things, though, was that he had broken up with his girlfriend but hadn't told her that he was coming back to me. He simply told her that he wasn't ready to settle down and he needed time.

Then 2 weeks ago, little did I know that his girlfriend came to see him at his apartment. I didn't know that he had seen her, and then he called me to tell me he wasn't coming home again (it was the 4th night in a row) and I was a little upset because he had told me he would. I asked him to please come home.

This got him very upset, thinking I was trying to control him and that combined with the upset of seeing his gf again, well, he blew up at me and moved out. I begged him that night to not make a decision in anger, and even the next day I told him I wanted him to stay. He said no.

2 days later he made it clear that he was getting back with his girlfriend. This hurt me terribly, since it seemed like he had never really given us a chance and had kept his options open with his gf. We actually went down to the courthouse and filed the divorce papers.

I felt like I had done everything for him, and he had thrown me away like trash. Naturally, I was resentful, and avoided any contact with him at all for the last 2 weeks.

Last night he came over and told me that he was going to call the courthouse on Monday and rescind the divorce petition. He has asked me to come back to him and that he just realized what a terrible mistake he made and how much he wants to be with me. He says we complete each other and begged me to forgive him and trust him again.

After all this, is it stupid of me to take him back? We've been married for 10 years and have 2 kids together. In his defense, he never cheated on me (just trust that I KNOW this as a fact) and he never lied to me. I've told my family and friends about how quickly he went back to his girlfriend, and if I take him back I will look like an idiot.

I've asked him what kind of assurances do I have that at the first opportunity he won't do it again. He can't give me any.

My head is saying don't do it, but my heart is saying to give him another chance.

So, should I or am I an idiot to even consider it?

Any advice is appreciated.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Visitation: Dos and Don'ts
Posted: 11/17/2009 4:58:59 PM

Im not saying dont take normal precautions, but I do think that people whose children are never around sick people or never dirty or live in a bubble are part of the reason we need all these vaccinations.


This is more true then you realize.

The huge amount of kids with allergies, for example. When I was a kid we played outside, my mom didn't sterilize the air, we were in the country, got dirty, ate dirt, all the things that kids do. Now as an adult and the youngest of 7, not one of us has allergies or ever had serious illnesses. I have also lived by that with my own children, and they are the same, healthy and allergy free.

How can people expect their children to build up immunities to sicknesses and allergens if the children are never exposed to those things? We are over sanitizing our world, and it's going to kill us.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Having a younger child
Posted: 11/15/2009 5:33:16 AM
I'm 46 and have a 8 year old as well as a 5 year old.

I've met a couple men that weren't interested, but most don't care. It helps that I have older ones that can babysit if need be.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Heavier Americans Push Back on Health Debate
Posted: 11/14/2009 8:44:01 AM
Many people eat because of psychological reasons. I've battled weight my whole life, and finally realized it was because of bad childhood things and for comfort.

Unlike smoking, drinking or drugs, you just can't 'quit' eating. It's an addiction that you just can't go cold turkey on.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Possible for a man to love two women at once?
Posted: 11/13/2009 12:13:30 PM
First of all, I wouldn't discriminate against separated people. In my state, for example, you have to wait 6 months from the time you file the papers until the divorce is final. If you are emotionally healed from your divorce, why isn't it okay to date?

As for anything else, I think you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. You are the rebound girl, and those hardly ever last.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
independent women fall the hardest
Posted: 11/13/2009 5:43:46 AM
I think it really depends on what you consider independent.

To me, it's a woman who doesn't need a man to take care of her. I don't need someone to kill my spiders or fix my car or mow my lawn.

But it is nice to have someone to be with, talk to, be physical with. I think all people need that, so I don't think anyone is truly 'independent'. We all depend on someone.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 102 (view)
 
what do you feel is the most UNATTRACTIVE piercing commonly done today?
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:28:03 PM
I don't care for most facial piercings. I think they just look silly. Especially on the lip or the nose. I saw a girl with a nose ring and it had a little ball on it. It looked like she had a booger hanging. Not attractive. And as far as the tongue, your mouth has so many germs in it I've heard of infections being bad. And your tongue is a muscle, not a piece of skin like everything else.

Belly button rings look good on girls with sexy bellies. Ears, as long as it isn't too much or too big.

As for tattooes, I got one a few months ago, and I love it. It's beautiful, and I want another.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
....did i make the right decision?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:02:11 AM

Relationships these days are like a box of Lego's. It's easier to take apart something good, and try and make something better. Only to realize later that what you had in the first place, really was the best!


That is a great analogy!!!
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
....did i make the right decision?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:00:59 AM
Perhaps what you need is something to 'respark' the relationship with your wife.

Counseling is a great idea. Your wife deserves better then what you are giving her now.

As for Sophie, my only advice is...

***DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH A MARRIED MAN!!!!***

Any woman that does that deserves the heartache she gets.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
When are you crossing the line into adultry?
Posted: 9/25/2009 12:29:22 PM
Tell your friend to be warned.

My husband and I were separated for 8 months, and he got a gf who went a little too far and started putting the cart before the horse (planning their future, etc). They were only dating 5 months, and he told her he still had feelings for his wife, and no divorce papers were filed.

Guess what? He and I are getting back together. He feels bad for this woman, but really, what could she expect? Is it really wise to get involved with a married or recently separated man?
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 42 (view)
 
how long to wait???????
Posted: 9/22/2009 3:52:55 PM
What is with you women getting with men who are so recently separated/divorced??
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
If you love someone, set them free...?
Posted: 9/18/2009 5:41:40 PM
I'm fighting for my husband now.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Interesting situation
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:52:41 PM

LINESRun...Forrest.....RunLINES


ROFLMAO!!!

I think the main reason he hasn't broken off with her already is because he doesn't want to hear me say "I told you so"...LOL
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Interesting situation
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:40:54 PM

you are insanely desperate.


Uh, no, but whatever.

I'm just wondering if other people would think this behaviour is as odd as I do.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Interesting situation
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:37:00 PM
Sorry, sly, wrong on all counts.

But I don't really need to prove anything to you.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Interesting situation
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:34:48 PM

He said to her he is divorce. Obvisouly he didn't tell that he wants to try things to work with his wife. Indeed many people may start talking future after 5 months even if it is not an official engagement. She sees hik as a dovorced man because he told her so.


He posted his status as divorced in POF. Within a couple weeks of dating he told her the truth. He told her 2 months ago that he still loved me.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Interesting situation
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:32:58 PM
Personally, I think she's nuts. I've been married to the man for 10 years and don't have his name on my body.

I keep trying to tell him she's only telling him what he wants to hear because she'll do anything to keep him, but he used to think it was all wine and roses, no fighting. I keep telling him 5 months into our relationship there wasn't any fighting, either, for God's sake.

I've been warning him, and I think today he finally realized I'm right, as much as he hates to admit it.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Interesting situation
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:27:12 PM
BTW, I'm the wife...LOL
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Interesting situation
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:22:54 PM
Say a woman meets a man on POF. Say that man says he's divorced, but he actually is only separated from his wife, with no divorce papers filed yet.

Say that woman jumped quickly into a heavy relationship with this man, to the point of having his name tattooed on herself only a month after meeting. She expects him to spend all his time with her, even begrudging his time with his kids. This woman has now been dating this man for only 5 months (give or take), and she's already planning their future, even though he STILL hasn't filed divorce papers, and has even told her that he still loves his wife and is thinking about getting back with her. She has even introduced him to her kids, even though his wife won't let him introduce their kids to her.

Would you classify this woman as desparate?
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
What is it about women having Jack Sparrow fantasies.
Posted: 9/10/2009 3:11:15 PM
Yep, have to agree, it's Johnny Depp.

It isn't just his looks, either, although they are quite something. It's his personality, his quirkiness, his devotion to his children, his passion for his craft. He is the full package.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
do we get hit on just because ...
Posted: 9/10/2009 3:05:35 PM

How do you know they JUST want sex?

About 90% of the woman here think that if a man brings up anything sexual before the Sun expands, extinguishing all life on Earth, that he only wants sex.


Okay, I'll grant you I haven't been on this site long, but of the men I've met, if you don't give them what they want, they don't call you back, and if you DO give them what they want, they don't call you back.

At least that's what I've found of the men in my age bracket.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Divorced women
Posted: 9/10/2009 10:19:59 AM

Some people do take divorce hard and I hardly understand why. Your marriage ending should be thought of as something like 'well it was cool while it lasted and I learned a lot. I'm not bitter but thankful that I got this experience. Now I'm happy to getting out of it because things aren't working out anymore.


Obviously you've never been married, or been on such an intimate level with another human being.

Getting a divorce isn't easy. It's almost like having your spouse die, except you have to see them all the time, especially if you have kids. There are reasons for people being unable to live together happily, but that doesn't mean you don't grieve for the loss of something that profound.

Unless of course you are so shallow you never had that deep of feelings for your spouse. I certainly hope that isn't the case.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
What's the easiest way to move on?
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:15:18 AM
Well, things are progressing, sort of.

I've decided to take a belly dancing class. I think that will be fun, and give me confidence and will be good for me.

Thanks for the advice. It is still hard, though. But I'm going out, doing new things.

It still kills me that he chose another woman over me, after all we had been through for the past 10 years. Leave it to say that I supported him through some really bad times.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Compromise or no?
Posted: 9/5/2009 5:57:02 AM
You would break up with a woman that you obviously like very much simply because she shaves and you don't find that attractive?

Wow, I'm amazed at how shallow some men can be.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
wealth?
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:01:17 AM
Personally, I couldn't care less how much a man makes, as long as he's not depending on me to take care of him. I can take care of myself, but I don't need anymore dependents on my tax return.

How a man treats me is most important. A quiet walk on a beach or down by the river is just as romantic to me as a stay in a 4 star hotel. Maybe more so. Same with a handful of hand picked flowers as opposed to a dozen roses. The fact that he made the extra effort to find and pick flowers he thought I might like means a heck of a lot more then a last minute stop at the florist.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Am i being selfish?
Posted: 8/29/2009 6:12:37 PM
Yes, you are being unreasonable. Would you like it if he asked you to give up time with your children? A person's child should always be important, especially since he didn't get to see her for a long time.

An alternative...If his older children might be willing to baby sit for an evening so you can have alone time? I would approach it as inviting him out for a dinner at your house, something along those lines.

If you are going to be serious with this man, his daughter will always be there. You will just have to cope.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 65 (view)
 
How important is sameness to you at this stage of the game?
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:30:14 PM
Anyone else see that Seinfeld episode where Jerry meets a woman just like him?

I think it's important to have some kind of common interests, but I also think it's important that you retain your individuality in a relationship.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why are woman so sensitive to rejecting their overture?
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:21:56 PM
I have no idea, but I couldn't care less how many favorite lists I'm on. That must be one of those 'head games' everybody says they don't want.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Is this enough to ditch her?
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:06:55 PM
Wow, 4 years is a bit much.

On that show '1000 ways to die' a couple a lot like you died when they finally made love after years of being married.

What a way to go.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 525 (view)
 
Do women cook anymore??
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:01:30 PM
I do. As a matter of fact, I'm a pretty good cook, and I enjoy it.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Is This Too Kinky For You?
Posted: 8/19/2009 8:17:37 AM
Yeah, that's just a little too much.

I dated a guy and he wanted to call me "Mommy" when we were making love.

I dropped him like a bad habit.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Adventures in DIY
Posted: 8/19/2009 7:00:25 AM
Okay, so, my STBX did something semi-thoughtful and brought me a new dishwasher yesterday.

The dishwasher we had in the house got broken a year or so ago, because my oldest DS is stronger then he realizes, and didn't remember you are supposed to unlatch the door before you tried to open it. He managed to rip the entire electrical panel off it.

I digress.

We already had a built-in dishwasher, it just wasn't operational. So, he popped over to ABC warehouse and brought it over.

Now, don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture. He knows how much of a hassle it is to wash dishes for a family of 4 (sometimes more), especially when you have a 5 year old that insists on getting a new cup every time he wants a drink of water.

But the man is cheap. I mean cheap, so of course he didn't want to pay for installation. His answer? "Well, I figured you could do it, since you are good at those things".

I am, but I've never tried to install water and electricity at the same time!!!!

Okay, so what the heck? I'll give it a shot. The electrical and plumbing are already roughed in, that's the hard part. This shouldn't be that hard.

This afternoon seems to be as good a time as any, so I take the kids to their play and learn class. This gives me a good 3 hours to work on the dishwasher. I'll have it done and still have time to go out to lunch.

I whip out the little instruction pamphlet they give you, and the whole first page is about roughing in. Cool. I can skip to the back!!!

First things first. I have to get the old dishwasher out. I take off the kick plate and lay on my stomach, and what do I see? Nothing. It's friggin dark under there. And do you think I can find my flashlight or ANY of my sockets or screwdrivers? Heck no. Off to the hardware store. I pick up a flashlight, a socket set and a cool racheting screwdriver with interchangeable head (2 philips, 2 flat heads, a star driver, and an allen head). I just love man toys!!!! Tim Allen, eat your heart out!!! *grunt grunt grunt*

Now, back home, I shine my brand spanking new halogen flashlight under the old dishwasher. Great. Now I know where my mice have been living. Ugh. Mouse turds.

So, I spend 1/2 hour unhooking the water supply (I did remember to turn off the electricity and the water before hand, very important steps if you want to live to see another sunrise), then another 1/2 figuring out how to lower the damn thing enough to get it out of the hole.

Finally I pull the old one out and glance over at the clock. 1 and 1/2 hours until I have to pick up the kids. No prob.

Luckily for me, dishwashers aren't very heavy, so most of the lifting I can do myself.

So, I pickup my manual/pamphlet. Guess what? Gotta make another run to the store. Forgot the elbow fitting, teflon tape, and a small level.

So I put the new dishwasher in the hole, get it precisely leveled, then go to screw in the elbow fitting. Another problem hits. The dishwasher has to be out to get enough leverage to get that darn fitting to turn.

So, I lower it again, pull it out, then screw in the fitting. Back into the hole it goes (I did vacuum the mouse droppings before inserting new washer, BTW). I level it again, then go to attach the water line. The water line won't fit into new fitting. Ugh. Go get my copper pipe cutter (I have one of these!!!! I use it for stained glass projects) and cut the pipe, and put the new fitting on. All connected. Great. Turn the water back on and check for spurting. Nothing. Cool.

Now the electrical. As I start to rip my fingers apart trying to screw together monster copper wires, I notice a movement from the corner of my eye. Something small and shiny. What is it? A drip. Great. The damn thing has a slow leak. You know what this means? Another 1/2 hour disconnecting the water line, then I have to pull the thing out AGAIN so I can unscrew the fitting, put more teflon tape on the threads, then start the whole damn thing all over.

It is now 10 minutes until I have to pick up the kids, so I leave a paper towel under where it's leaking, hoping that the blood sacrifice I have made with all the knuckle scrapings I have had with this endeavor will be enough to appease the appliance gods, and when I come home, the leak will have miraculously disappeared.

By this time I have a raging headache that feels like Fred and Ginger are doing the Castle Walk between my ears, and am in such a pissy mood, that it only stands to reason that Spencer, with his lovely 7 year old mind, is in one of his talkative moods. I don't think the kid takes time to breathe!!! Finally, I have to say to him "Spencer, I love you, but could you please be quiet? I have a really bad headache and I really don't feel like answering your questions right now". The sweet boy smiled, and was quiet for about 2 minutes.

Off to pick up Zack at driver's training, and to the appliance parts store, because, see, my old drain line was too long, so I cut it off, but the new drain line is just about a foot too short, so I need some kind of adaptor. As I stand at the counter for 10 minutes, the guy finally comes over and says "Sorry, ma'am, but we don't have anything like that. You can try heater hose at Napa". Great, just what I want, to go to another store. Screw it. I'll figure something out.

I have to stop at Walgreens to pick up some pliers, because pliers make fun toys and I can never find mine when I need them. Somewhere in this house lurk 5 pairs of pliers, 4 hammers, an unknown quantity of screwdrivers and socket heads, and one damn jigsaw.

Finally, home again. I quickly send the kids off, but of course, Spencer wants to watch, and Jude, the dog, wants to watch Spencer (the darn dog hasn't left my side the whole time). You ever feel like taking your toys and going home?

I guess my blood sacrifice wasn't enough for those vengeful appliance gods, because the damn paper towel was soaked when I got home. Turn the water off again, another 1/2 to disconnect, blah blah blah.

So, I finally get the water connection to not leak (YAY ME!!!). Back to the electrical.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that plastic coating off of conduit cable when all you have to work with are wire cutters and a cheap pair of pliers? Because I’ll be damned if I’m taking another trip to the store to get wire strippers. I’d rather eat glass.

Okay, the electrical is done. It only took me 45 minutes. It is now 6:30 at night, and it looks like pizza for dinner.

Did I mention that the water that spilled out of the old drain hose smelled like something had died in it? And it was now all over me and the floor. Fun.

It's time to fire it up. "Zack, throw breaker 13 (I kid you not)". I turn the knob. Nothing. OMG!!! Wait, duh. Forgot how dishwashers work and didn't latch the door. Closed, latched, EUREKA!!! We have lights!!!!!

Now I am thoroughly stoked!!! I put the front door back on (pinching the skin on the underside of my forearm, ripping a huge chunk of flesh out in the process), kick plates, mount to the counter, check, check, check.

Let's fire that baby up!!!

It's making sounds!!! Hurrah!!!!

I open the door and what do I see?

Nothing. No water. I play with it a little, still nothing. I know the water's on, so that ain't it.

Frustration takes a hold, and I call my STBX. He doesn't answer. So, without him to flay, I call ABC Warehouse. The salesman was so helpful with his "Is the water line on? If that's not it, I don't know what to tell you." Oh, and you could hear the tone in his voice when he was informed it was me that installed it. So, he gives me the number to their service department, assuring me that they would be right out. I call the 800 number. I get a recording. "Our office hours are Monday through Friday from 8:30am to 4:30pm. Please call back during office hours".

The next time I see my STBX, I'm going to kick him dead in the shins.
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What's the easiest way to move on?
Posted: 8/18/2009 8:44:34 AM

Get over your jealousy, find someone who IS him, and become a swinging bachelorette-!


LOL

Get over the jealousy is easier said then done, I'm working on the swinging bachelorette, and I don't want someone who IS him. He wasn't really that great.

 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What's the easiest way to move on?
Posted: 8/18/2009 4:26:51 AM
Well, I've done a lot of the above. Started really eating healthy and working out, got the nails and toes done. I've even gotten a tattoo!!! Got my hair cut short.

I guess I just need a place to vent. I don't really have anyone to talk to, and I think this is almost worse then if he had died.

Thanks,
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What's the easiest way to move on?
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:48:50 PM
I've been separated for 7 months from an almost 10 year marriage.

My STBX has now told me that he has a girlfriend that he loves. He did let it slip when I asked him 'Is she better then me?' he actually said 'she is you.'

So, I'm feeling awful because I'm alone and he's had it easy since I've had the kids and he's been left to be the swinging bachelor, and now he's happy and I'm by myself.

What's the best way to move on?
 deebell
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Finding it hard to let go
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:09:28 PM
I'm in the same boat, sort of. My husband and I have been separated for 7 months, but recently I found out he has a girlfriend. I know he didn't meet her until after we broke up, but it still hurts that he could move on so quickly after almost 10 years of marriage.

Going out and getting my mind off it helps.

Wish I had more advice to give, but good luck to you.
 
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