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 Author Thread: A playful groper
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 78 (view)
 
A playful groper
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:34:37 AM
^^^^There are LOTS of us here on POF that are not looking to meet/date someone. POF is quite well known for the active forums and there are those of us either in relationships or not, who are here just for forums (what this OP is doing here, I don't know and don't care, but I don't think it's some relationshipal sin to be here if you are attached to someone.)

~OT~ Gropers? Those types need to learn the kindgarten fundamental of keeping their hands to themselves. I had a family member who was a perpetual groper and it was not only invasive, it was embarrassing. I have a VERY wide area that I keep clear around me, someone enters my space uninvited and I am not very kind in response. I just think it's tactless and more often than not? A sign of someone with no respect for others. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 49 (view)
 
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:15:36 PM
^^^^Perfect example of why I think lying about age is just ONE lie someone is likely to tell. Lie about something as set in stone as your age and it's likely there will be more lies to come.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How much contact is too much?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:00:46 PM

he calls, she calls...should i wait..I might look desperate...god! why did it all come to so much trepidation over trying to get together with someone???? the 'rules' for this stuff...I hate rules! if i feel it, i do it!



I am so sick of all these silly do this, don't do that, say this, but never say that. FFS, it's simple human interactions, not splitting the damn atom. PFT.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why do people think its acceptable to tell you its not your fault?
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:33:00 PM
I think it's really sort of a moot point to "explain" what exactly went wrong. I guess we could get entirely TOO politically correct, create a spreadsheet with what went right and what went wrong and just exchange the document on our way out the door, but does it really matter? If/when one party decides it's over ~ that's that. It's time to move on. What have learned about me through break-ups? Much more than anyone of those formers could tell me, I take it upon myself to educate me about me. There comes a point when we just have to suck up the reality: they just grew out of being into us. Sucks, but it happens. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How Many Of You Are Doing This?
Posted: 11/7/2009 12:27:41 PM
If flaws were red-flags, I'd be a nation with more state flags flying than the entire US. I get so sick of all the red-flag labeling. What is an issue for me, might not be for someone else, likewise, what someone finds concerning about me (quirk, issue or whatever) might be someone else's ideal. (Yes, there are the obvious things to be concerned about and aware, but come on ~ we're ALL screwed up/red-flagged in some way.) JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 76 (view)
 
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:29:10 AM
Geez, I dunno. The only man I see pursued me, well, he pursued me in the beginning. Now it's pretty even. He pursues me and I pursue him back. If there is mutual interest, for me, it's mutual pursuing. I don't get into any of these silly rules, guidelines, and or other silliness that seems to complicate something that really shouldn't be complicated. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 46 (view)
 
mate poaching (women who insist on taking another woman's man)?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:55:45 PM
~OT~ I think we ladies should stick beside one another, but I realize that's a pipe dream. As for setting sights on someone else's man? Not me. I wouldn't want that done to me again, and I wouldn't be able to look in the mirror after-the-fact. It is true, however, you can't "steal" someone who doesn't wish to be stolen. I think it's more of a two parted problem, but that's just my view.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
What do you consider too much skin?
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:18:00 PM
I try not to judge what others choose to wear. If I thought I could get away with showing more skin than my "norm" ~ I probably would. I think women that are comfortable in their own skin, and want to show that skin off, should. I'm no ones ashion Police. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 1:25:35 PM

fetishish strike me as sick... a syndrome of some type... once then I could never understand what men saw in strippers either, call me naive or conservative

Nah...no need for name calling!! Some of us just view stuff differently than others. Me???? Unless there is a chicken, a midget, a vat of green jello, a few voyuers, a couple whips, floggers and/or riding crop handled by a highly trained transvestite in latex, I think most things are just pretty status quo. It's all perception.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Are you better at finding or being found?
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:29:04 AM
I rarely, if ever, write a first contact email. I have written a few over the years and none of those have ever lead to a real life meeting. Those that I have met via the net have contacted me first. Maybe I'm in no hurry to be found or in finding, because I don't even browse profiles. I tend to rely a little more on offline meetings. They seem to produce better results for me personally. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:19:30 AM
Fetishes and experimentation are entirely different things. If someone is wanting to TRY something, that leans towards experimentation. If someone likes something considered "not the norm" then it might be an issue for a new partner, but I don't think it's the least bit offending. If the "he" in my life can't be open/honest about such things, we shouldn't be together because sex in a long term relationship is vital. I tend to listen with very open ears and how on earth will I know I hate something if I've never tried it? Just because something sounds weird, doesn't make it weird. Foreign concepts seem to frighten/alarm people. I do wonder why that is....but that's just me. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Does exclusivity applies in FWB relationship?
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:50:08 AM
~OP~ I make the designation very simple in my own mind::
FWB: someone you socialize with, enjoy spending time with, have sex with, but you both agree it's going no further than that;
FB: those you have sex with when there isn't a better option. Nothing more than that.

Obviously if this "friend" got angry, she was probably NOT aware you and she viewed the situation on entirely different levels. Next time maybe clue everyone in on how you live your private life and let them decide if they are OK with that. (And no, I don't believe either of these designations have exclusivity attached to them.) JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Insecurity issues
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:48:33 PM
~OP~ Congrats (first of all!!) Because I was a little naive about WHY the skin on some people gets saggy (with or without large amounts of weight loss) I did a little reading. Like it or not, everything I read clearly states that genetics will likely determine how elastic your skin is. If you look at your biological family, do they look their ages? Do any of them have sagging skin (with or without weight loss?) etc. Exercise, for some, will NOT make a bit of difference other than it's obviously healthy to do so. The skin might just be one of those things you have to contend with. I personally have body issues with my own self (and I too have lost weight, 50 pounds, two different times in my adult life) but sagging skin isn't what my issues are. How do I combat those issues? I found that body-stockings keep me happy, covered, and generally give me a different view of myself if/when I have been lucky enough to want to be intimate with someone. You can know that you are covered, yet intimacy is completely accessible. Maybe that's "cheating"in some eyes, but for me? It's a comfort thing and if he can't understand that about me? Too bad for him. Good luck to ya!!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
do your breakups revolve around the same issues?
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:14:15 PM
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.........

No, in hindsight, the reasons have not been the same. A couple were similar in nature, but most often, it's because I evolve and they simply haven't. I seem to be on a 5 year plan, in those 5 years, I grow/change/evolve and I wake up wondering what I saw in them to start with. It certainly isn't their fault, I am the one who changes, but it sure would be nice to meet someone who evolves in some way ~ maybe that's why many relationships fail, evolution of self/change can keep things new if the evolution happens to both people. I hate the cliche "We just grew apart." but it seems fitting in my past failures. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Let me try it again --
Posted: 10/24/2009 12:45:25 PM
~OP~ I once traded my bra for a sweatshirt. It was cold, he wanted my bra, we made a deal. I wouldn't have given him my undies for a mink coat, however. That's just yucky. I think you should stop being the fall-back guy and move on to a women who will give you clean undies as a remembrance. But I'm funny about my thongs.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 110 (view)
 
Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/23/2009 1:52:57 PM

To all those between 30-40 do you think you ever be in a relationship again? If you are still single by the time you are 45 will you wonder what happened?

I am 45 and I don't wonder. I know exactly why I'm single. I have a broken man-picker.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 1313 (view)
 
Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:26:27 AM
~OT~ It's no secret that I personally prefer men a little younger than I am. BUT, I learned long ago that a LOT younger (if you are wanting something long-term) likely won't produce results that are, indeed, long term (there are exceptions, I'm sure, but......) I recently got email from someone clearly too young for me and when I politely explained I wasn't interested due to the age difference, this is what I got back:

Doesn't mean older man make you happy and
stay with you.
What's wrong with being young. I keep you
young and give you lots of energy
you should be thanksful to have me younger
than you

I guess he thinks he'd be doing me a favor. I think I will give him spelling lessons, but I certainly won't date him.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
How do I fix my screwup with my girlfriend?
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:11:00 AM

OK well my question to you greeneyes is when a girl wants to be left alone from her boyfriend, what are the chances that they will want you to call them back at all ever?

I can only answer for me, but when I want left alone, it usually means I want left alone indefinitely. I don't think she is viewing this as a fight (per se) although we wouldn't know that unless she were to post in this thread. It sounds to me that she is wanting left alone, and that very well may be permanent, or at least until she wraps her thoughts around the reality that is "you" (whatever that is in her eyes.) I just know that when I distance myself from people (friends, family, boyfriend, whoever) there is likely a good reason to be doing so (at least in my mind) and if I find during that separated time that I don't see the situation correcting itself, it's likely I will stay distant. No matter what she is thinking at this very moment, she's wanting her space and it will be up to her to decide differently. It does suck, and it has happened to me (more than once, I might add) but as adults, it's all part of the process we call: Life. Good luck to ya. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
How do I fix my screwup with my girlfriend?
Posted: 10/23/2009 8:58:38 AM
~OP~ All I can add is that, according to you and your posts here, this is all about YOU. Sorry, but this is about HER, too. You had a bad day, you lost your job, you feel depressed, you have a LOT on your mind, etc., etc. Maybe she has a LOT on her mind, too and you over calling/texting certainly isn't going to help matters. Leave her alone. She's sending very clear signals that you are refusing to notice. She wants left alone. So if there is any part of you that can grasp HER reality, respect her and her disinterest. Maybe before you try again, get yourself in a position that you feel good about you then the other party will likely want to hear from you rather than to avoid hearing from you. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Straight men and Anal play - yay or nay?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:51:01 AM
These threads used to crack me up (no pun intended...LOL) and? They still do.

~OT~ There are those who not only like it, they love it. There are those that don't as well. It's another one of those personal preference things. Personally? I like the man in my life to be open to all sorts of things, if he tries eomthing once and doesn't like it, fine ~ but to NOT try at all? That's just a little too closed-minded for me. I do wonder how many of those professing they would NEVER do such a thing or allow it, want anal sex from the woman in their life.....I would assume many, but that might just be my assumption. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
seeing guy for 2 months and he still on pof
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:45:24 AM
~OP~ The last relationship I was in was with a fellow POFer. He deleted his profile very early on, but I left mine. I, did, however, change it to "not single/not looking", posted pictures of me and him together in my profile and clearly put that I was here for forums ONLY. I also gave him my password, because there was nothing in here he could not see/read had he opted to do so. Most of the time I was here, he was sitting right there with me and I don't think he ever used the password. My point? There are ways to be here and be in a relationship, but the way your scenerio seems to be going isn't probably the best way to do it. (At least in my opinion.) If he truly wanted to hide his profile, you could have explained how on the phone or he could have simply used the POF help screens. I think I'd be concerned about his sincerity. (And why on earth look at current matches??? That rings of still looking to me.) Good luck to you. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 257 (view)
 
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:10:13 AM

Quantity is not a problem, it's the quality that's lacking :(

So true. Sadly. I could be meeting/dating often if quantity were all that I was looking for, since it isn't? I'm not dating at all. Personal preference? Yep. I'd rather go to movies/dinner/etc., alone that sit through one more wretched first/last date combo.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
One man woman never found her one woman man
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:02:09 AM
~OP~ If I remember correctly, you have posted in the past about having serious trust issues. Unfortunately, when we possess traits such as that, we generally make horrible choices for our personal lives. Maybe stop dating at all until you can figure out the real reason you seem to find yourself with men who (excuse the cliche) just aren't that into you. If experience has taught me anything, it's pretty simple: when a man is totally into me, I know it, he knows it, and most likely anyone he or I encounters knows it. When I find myself in situations that clearly are not working (i.e.: liars, cheaters, controllers, etc.) I STOP right there and re-invent who I am to a degree, because after all: I picked 'em. That makes it my fault, not necessarily just their's. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
a young beautiful wife with a much older husband
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:17:40 PM
~OT~ This friend is worrying about cheating before it even happens? This has disaster written all over it. If he isn't sexually attractive to her at age 44, he sure in the hell isn't going to do a thing for her 5-10 years from now. There is a LOT more to having a happy marriage than love, and sex is one of those other things. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 75 (view)
 
How hard is it for men to not cheat?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:12:24 PM
Anyway, I think you're confusing "attractiveness" with "appearance". I'm using the former word in the sense of it meaning "having opportunities with the other sex" - i.e., your "willing participant". Such a person, especially if male, doesn't necessarily have to have conventional movie star good looks. Attractiveness depends somewhat on the context/surrounding in which the person lives. Those people on Springer may seem ugly to you, but that doesn't mean someone in their local vicinity may not find them attractive - not that I'd draw too much from that TV show since it seems designed to be sorta like one big wreck that (some) people can't resist rubber-necking at, and thinking how superior to all those people having such self-inflicted difficulties.

LMAO...you got that right. Just because I don't find those people attractive doesn't mean someone else won't. One step further? They must find a LOT of one-anothers attractive cause there is lots of Baby-Mamma-Daddy-Drama goin' on.

Attractiveness v. appearance??? Not the least bit confused. The poster I quoted was speaking of appearance (i.e.: popular/attractive people should be stayed away from, in his opinion.) Seriously? We can beat this dead horse topic into hamburger, cook it, eat it, and it's still the same in the end: SOME people cheat. Rationale for those individuals is as subjective as each one of them. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 58 (view)
 
How hard is it for men to not cheat?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:07:40 AM

So, for better odds of a man not cheating, avoid the popular ones.

So less attractive/popular men should date who? The popular women, but assume they will cheat? (And in reverse the gender order for the women.) Maybe I just happen to know less popular/less attractive people, but PEOPLE cheat. I don't believe it has anything to do with appearance. If there is a willing participant and someone is wanting to be unfaithful, they will be. (And just watch a couple episodes of Maury/Springer/Steve Wilkos, I have not seem many truly attractive people on any of those shows, but there sure is a LOT of cheating going on.) JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
 
What's in a kiss?
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:50:41 AM
^^^^^^^LOL Me, too.

~OT~ If the kissing isn't great, I have no interest in kissing and that means I'll have no interest in anything else. It's one of the best chemistry-testers there are. At least for me.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Are Your Filters Set Too High?
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:45:46 AM
Is my list too long or my filters too rigid? Not for me. I know what I want and what I don't. I am not about to settle, nor do I expect a quick fix. I am ready, willing and completely able to wait til "he" comes alone and if it takes a LONG time to find him or for him to find me? So be it. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Fear of Date Rape.....
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:42:35 AM

When is the best time to take that next step in meeting at eachother's homes and how do you overcome the fear of being taken advantage of?

If you have a fear that is THAT strong, you shouldn't be meeting or dating via the net (first of all) and you probably shouldn't be going to any man's house. Sounds like your fear is going to override good judgment and that is never a good thing. (Living in fear with keep you from living at all, you might want to address what the underlying cause of all of this fear is.)

I find it hard to trust people in general. With all of the weirdo's out there how can you truly judge who would be okay and who could possibly be dangerous?

Yep. There are weirdo's "out there." You'll find them in police uniforms, school teaching jobs, lawyers, doctors, on street corners and likely right in the neighborhood in which you reside. How can you weed them out? Before you trust anyone, trust YOU. Next? Take classes on self-defense, body language, become informed in whatever way you find best for you. Other than isolating yourself from the world, you have to live with weirdo's, stop being afraid and become pro-active so you can actually LIVE. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 84 (view)
 
What codes do you put in the message to reflect another's comments?
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:35:18 AM

If everyone I know who plays hard on the weekend after a week of working hard were considered alcoholics and unfit for their jobs, I wouldn't know many people with jobs.

OP, if you don't like her social behavior, stop socializing with her. That's why we date people before marrying them--to find out if we're compatible.

There is only ONE person that can determine if this gal has an alcohol problem and that ONE person is: HER. It's pretty easy to sit in judgment based upon one post, by one person, with no rebute from the party who's private business is being discussed.

(But please don't do anything to endanger her job.)

OMFG!! I didn't read the entire thread (cause I already knew what would be in here) but he wants to endanger her job? FFS, people never cease to amaze me. ***shakes head.***

~OP~ If you don't like her lifestyle, don't get involved in it. Want to harrass her and give her issues at her place of employment? Shame on you. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 10/18/2009 11:41:11 PM
~OT~ I just make certain I get custody of POF should things end.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Do guys worry too much about the physical?
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:39:09 PM
~OT~ There is nothing more disappointing than having an amazing intellectual/emotional connection with someone only to find out that there is absolutely NO sexual chemistry when it finally comes to that. It's only happened to me once, and NO, it was not a two part problem, he simply had no skills to speak of and he wasn't someone who was able or interested in learning more above/beyond the sleeper sex stuff. I didn't have the patience to try to explain and draw pictures and he didn't have the wherewithal to realize that he simply sucked (yes...he thought himself a sexual guru.) It was just wretched. I suppose my answer would have to be that I need it all. Expertise, intellectual/emotional connection and a good deal of non-vanilla traits tossed in. No wonder I'm single.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
sure i like it
Posted: 10/17/2009 6:28:35 PM
~OP~ Good grief. You got 'em all in here and quickly. The STD Police, the Moral Police and the Sexual Novices. Kudos. That usually takes at least three pages of posts. Truth is? You can go to any bar across the country and there will likely be someone drunk enough to give you a blowjob. You might have to go a couple of times, but eventually you'll find a willing partner. So this woman likes to meet strangers and pull a Monica Lewinski?? Geezus, shoot her. (Please, like this doesn't happen all the time? It just usually doesn't hit POF forums.)

I don't read where you want to date her, I don't read where you expect to communicate with her further. If you pick the place, you make sure you are OK, make sure to wear a condom and her a dental dam, what on earth are you waiting for? Maybe she has a fetish about blowing strangers? You are the only one who can decide where you choose to stick your winkie and if you need advice from strangers about such things, I'd suggest that you don't do it, but .... that's up to you. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 94 (view)
 
How do men suddenly withdraw emotionally?
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:16:31 PM
***Sigh*** Why is it that everyone has jumped on this bi-polar bandwagon? Did the label "depressed" become too old/boring?

I am not a man, I am not bi-polar but I have stopped feeling emotional towards someone within days in the past. How does it happen? I wake up, don't feel anything for them anymore. No covert plan to hurt them, nothing really happened to make that the day I didn't feel anything anymore, it just was. Likewise, it's happened to me. Has it occured to anyone but me that sometimes we just change/grown and that person no longer does "it" for us? I don't think it needs a clinical diagnosis, it just needs to be what it is: O V E R. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
what is it with female rivalry and jealousy
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:41:48 PM
I have more women friends than men for the first time in my life. They are women of amazing character and I seriously can't see any one of them being jealous of me or anything about me. I think the reason is pretty simple: they are all mature and secure in their own self. Those women who are brutal to other women are the one's who have the issues in my opinion. Most people don't trash talk those they are not intimidated by and if someone's appearance (for lack of knowing anything more than that about that person) is so intimidating to another person, I wouldn't want to know that person anyway. (And for what it's worth, men can be jealous of other men just as often. He has more money, he has a better professional life, he has a hot gf, he's a work-ou junkie and it shows, ect., etc. It's all silly to me.) JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Would you forgive?
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:34:18 PM
One more example why I stick to my belief, "Separated is NOT single." Sorry OP, I personally think that anyone staying for financial reasons is just silliness. And to get drunk together, fight and then have make-up sex (drunk or not) is a clear sign that these two people aren't really even separate. I think you'd do best to move on. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 157 (view)
 
Do some women like being sex slaves?
Posted: 10/13/2009 8:58:36 PM
^^^^^You're a slave??? Who would've thought???? ("Preaching to the choir" means that you are one of those, Dear. ) Nope not offended. Humored, but not offended. Have you ever heard the saying, "If you have to profess it, you don't possess it."??? Might wanna add that to your cliche-log. Just a thought.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 155 (view)
 
Do some women like being sex slaves?
Posted: 10/13/2009 8:40:50 PM

Let's see, since you are a slave (which I assuming by your screename), the only thing you should be doing is obeying others and of course following orders. Now I suggest you know your role, get back in the kitchen, and finish up making my chicken potpie.

Hate to be the Bad News Fairy, but just because she's a slave, doesn't mean she's a slave to everyone. Which means that even though I think you were trying to be glib, you are offending those of us who know what being a slave is about. What some ill or uninformed 'nilla-minded man might view as his right to say to someone he clearly can't doesn't have the capacity to understand, is offending. Now go read a book and educate yourself on what a submissive and/or slave is and who they are a submissive or slave to. (LOL, I just got all Dominant, now that's f-ing funny to me. Hope I didn't offend you....or....well....nevermind.)

~OT~ There are those who not only like slaves, they treasure them. Personal preferences are a great thing. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Should People in a Comitted Relationship Share there things with each other
Posted: 10/13/2009 8:28:56 PM
I know of a couple that was together for 13 years and they didn't share their things. He had his house, she had her's. They never lived together, never married nor were engaged. I know for a fact that vacations together were when they could both financially afford their own half. I don't think it's up to me or anyone else to decide what works for anyone other than myself, as this situation obviously must have worked for them because it was 13 years.

I don't, however, think it is the least bit appropriate for this "friend's" bf to leave her stranded. He should have offered her a ride if he didn't want her taking his car. But, since there is no first hand accounting of the relationship, how responsible she is with her own things, etc., it's probable there is much more to this than is posted in the OP. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Kijiji ad of rejection
Posted: 10/13/2009 1:09:06 PM
FFS!!! ~ I clearly see, in one page of posts, why so many profiles online SCREAM about having a sense of humor being vital. It's apparently a rare trait.

~OP~ I agree with you! Hilarious. The only thing I have ever seen that was close was an actual in-print add and I still have it all these years later cause I thought it was just too funny:
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/goodhomeneeded.htm

Still makes me laugh. (Thanks OP, needed a giggle or 20 today!!)
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Tennessee man accidentally killed via kinky bondage/cuckold fetish
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:51:32 PM

yeah but there are ways to do it and not do it, like i never choke, but i do squeeze the jugular veins with both sides leaving the wind pipe open and most important unrestricted, as the idea is to throttle the brain and not suffocate anyone. big "O" all aorund and everyone is happier.

Thank you, succinctly put is always good (especially when it's accurate.)

~OT~ Part of this that is missing is WHY she was out of the house. They key to that question lies in the title: cuckold

Strictly speaking, a cuckold is a married man with an adulterous wife

It probably wasn't uncommon for her to leave him bound for extended periods of time because if he was living that life consensually, it's what they do. Not that I disagree with the reckless portion of this particular case, it's highly likely she was just a dumbass out getting her fix and time got away and she figured hubby would be fine, just like times he was fine previously, BUT 20 hours? Ridiculous.

Sadly, it is stories such as this that give most any alternative living situation such negative attention that those who don't care enough to read deeper believe that she was just some crazed biitch trying to kill her husband. I have a hard time with that concept since he knew she was cheating, because that's part of the thrill for those who prefer being in a cuckold-ed situation. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
What kind of guy do you want to marry?
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:13:51 PM
~OT~ If I were to think in terms of marriage, I guess I'd have to go with traditional-gender-role-minded, very alpha, protective, and definitely someone who has been in long term relationships in the past. No more of those never-married's for me (even without marriage in mind, no more of those for me, they just do NOT get it for some reason.) Traits I'm opposed to? The obvious: drunk, druggie, abuser, yada yada, but add small children, older children at home, unhealthy diet, and he would have to be happy with his place in life and where he's been in his past (no matter what that may have been) and he would have to be willing evolve emotionally, intellectually, physically, and sexually. No more of that sleeper-sex stuff for me, gawd that's a deal breaker. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 422 (view)
 
Is it just me, or are testimonials a turn off ?
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:29:56 PM
^^^^^^^^^^Snicker. I have to agree, my first testimonial posting friend. Oh how it makes us look silly and vain to have niceties on our profiles written by those who do know us, have known us a long time and don't care who knows it.

~OT~ In my tme here, I have been through more rotten stuff than I care to think about. I once had so many testimonials it was probably silly, but as time has gone on, many of those people have left the site and taken their thoughts of me with them when they deleted their profiles. The ones on my profile today? When I think I am so alone on this planet, I read them or click on them to email those who do know/love me and have for a long time. I don't care who reads them to gauge me, I care what they say TO me about how they feel about me. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Does sex feel different with someone you love?
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:23:49 PM

Physically it's the same. Mentally and emotionally, it's a whole 'nother ballgame.



I so agree. I can't wait to have that blissful whole picture thing again.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Ever gotten into trouble or hot water with your spouses family.
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:21:57 PM
His father hated me because I was too vocal about irresponsible actions and made his son have a job at least part time. How did I handle it? I married him and made them all as miserable as they made me. I figured the father person would get over it or die mad. He's still alive and still can't stand me, must be awful to be that consumed with another human being 10 years post-divorce. Poor old guy, really should just get the hell over it, it didn't matter to me all those years ago and it certainly makes no difference to me today. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
What is the Worst Thing after a Long Term Breakup?
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:08:55 PM
For me? The worst thing is morning. When you escape via sleep, wake up and it all floods back into your head and that ache in your heart begins, yet again. I don't think it's selective to romantic relationships, I think (for me) it happens with any profound loss. I do so hate mornings . JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 136 (view)
 
How far would you travel for a love affair?
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:06:04 PM
For two years we were about 1950 miles apart. I went through a phase after that where distance wasn't an option, then it was again. The last distance was about 800 miles til we lived in the same house and once that happened? The distance was insane. Soemtimes you can live in the same house and be world's apart. Today? I am in a position to go where I want when I want and if "he" is what I think is worth even one trip, whether 6 connecting flights or not, I'm going. I'm not getting any younger and I made a promise to someone that I would NOT let anything stand in the way of a chance to be in love again. I don't make promises I can't keep, so if he's out there, I'm willing to try it again. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Is it ever okay to resort to violence?
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:49:33 AM

This is such an absurd question I feel like smacking the shyt out of someone....any volunteers?

That thread would be in sex and sexuality category. There may be at least one poster in there who would admit to being a willing participant. (I did see an offer on EBay years ago offering an "ass kicking" to the highest bidder. I think it sold for around $10.00.)

~OT~ This question has so many variables that it truly should have been deleted for attention seeking and/or trolling. Is there EVER a time for violence? I dunno, but Ellie Nestler killed her son's sexual predator and the nation rallied to her cause, so there is at least one case where it was not only deemed appropriate (by some or many) but her sentence in prison for the crime was "lighter" than had she just shot some stranger on the street for reasons only she might have known. I slapped the face of my son's abuser (yes, young men can be in physically abusive relationships) and although I knew it wasn't appropriate, the biitch deserved the slap and actually, probably deserved that ass-kicking that was offered on EBay. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Am I being selfish?
Posted: 10/10/2009 11:05:39 PM
Sorry OP, I'm voting on the selfish side of this one. Maybe just attention seeking, but regardless? I think your taking it way too serious. You were in pain, you were handling the sitution and that should have been that. I think what's missing in your original post is how often you "need" your friends. I just think that unless this friend tells her/his side of this, we won't know exactly what's up. (And you might wish to get used to taking care of these things on your own because as adults, that's what we do.) JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
long term
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:51:03 PM
^^^^^^Some of us have multiple restrictions for one reason: we prefer that which we prefer.

~OP~ I don't know if it's easy for anyone to find what they consider "normal." I've been single for the bulk of 10 years and although I seem to know many men that I think are normal, nice, intelligent, funny, etc., that doesn't mean any of those men are the one man for me. JMO
 
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