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 Author Thread: Sexting
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Sexting
Posted: 4/20/2009 9:16:55 PM
I honestly want the mystery of it all. If you know all things about the person before you see them naked in person..whats there to be nervous or curious about....what happened to anticipation and excitement..
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
He's Coming Around
Posted: 4/20/2009 9:11:24 PM
well, I think you should not call him . Infact this time keep your eyes wide open and stick by the rule "if he don't seem into you" he's not. Too many girls read into things that aren't there because they are so desperate to be with that person that makes them feel all those amazing things. They believe the lies and they hold onto hope that really is not there. "But omg he gave me his number" Yeah so what if he did to ease his guilt or to be nice. If he is into you, He will call, he will court you and he will be the one showing you he's into you. You made the first move. Email him yours and see if it goes somewhere.
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
I am with Optimistically Cynical
Posted: 3/23/2009 7:46:23 PM
lol Oh lordy, are we so naive ? Phone sex can be just as cheap as a one night stand, or, it can be a natural escalation to the relationship. Some of the responses reminded me of high school when girls would say "eww masturbation is gross". good god its just mutual masturbation. If someone intellectually and emotionally stimulates you like you say he does. You get along great etc etc.. .then I think that it may of been just the next step, you were both arroused by the feelings and things shared between you two. If it was phone sex from the first talk, then sure I can agree and say its all about sex, but I read it as you both talk alot and get along great and you care about eachother. I think you need to try to keep things off the sex topic to just see for your own peice of mind to see if he will talk about other things, but I think your analyzing way too much!!
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Getting The SUBTLE Brush Off!!
Posted: 8/6/2008 10:20:52 PM

Because it is the year 2008 and people do not have to have morals, values or even common decency anymore. It is all about "me" and "I" and the thought of being a good person and doing the right thing only crosses the mind of about 5% of the population. It is easy to just stop calling and harder to explain why so people take the easy way out. Or because it is 2008, they break up via text, post-it-note- or email.


I could not of said it better then you!!! well done!! awesome...
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
He dissapeared again... :(
Posted: 8/6/2008 10:16:14 PM
words to live by ~

Actions speak louder then words.
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
what would you do
Posted: 8/6/2008 10:03:42 PM

Welcome to the Internet


sorry to say but it's not just the internet. You can be strung along and used in real life to just as easily and sometimes easier in real life because You don't see the signs that You can online, such as spending His life on POF yet commited to you, or sitting online instead of working. In real life unless you drive by his house daily (creepy btw), how could you know what he says is truth? lol .. anyways.
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
MY story
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:28:40 PM

I think the painful truth is that the internet is "Fantasy Land" for alot of lonely people and you two just got caught up in the fantasy.


My philosophy on the ones that think that you can not find love online will be the next one to fall and have egg all ovah their face. I date in real life, and let's face it, hardly talk much face to face, usually lust that attracts you, you wake up 6 months later and don't even know the guys favorite color. Online : you only have words, on the phone you only have words. you get to know the person firstly, then move onto meeting and lust. Feelings CAN come from online. My sister has been with her online boyfriend in REAL life for 5 years now and married to him. They talked for a year before meeting and 5 years later? the men ive dated and got to know in Real life aren't much better then the ones on here. You take your chances and meet online or off but one is not worse then the other. Anyways, off topic but something I needed to say out of experience. Funny how the ones that are online say the worst about online? go figure.
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
what to think?
Posted: 8/4/2008 4:21:28 PM
Well, big warning flags there. I would be honest and explain why your concerned about it all. That you feel his mixed signals are part of the reason your scared to move back in. Ask if there is a reason why he won't touch you in public. What do you have to lose by asking? It's not like you have him completely if he's holding back himself ..right? Ask and find out so that you can decide if it's worth moving back in together. I would be scared to ask, so don't think I don't know being reluctant about asking such things, but, you got to for your own sanity really. I would hate to sit and wonder when he was going to end things. I would rather know what Im up against really. Specially having a child involved.
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 391 (view)
 
Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/28/2008 11:54:50 AM
Holy wow. Impressive thread. However, no one is taking responsibility for thier own stuff.. they are just blaming the other partner in it all. I got married and had children. I chose not to take the pill . .my choice.. .if a man don't wear a condom.. his choice. If the conterceptives fail.. both faults..both responsibility because they BOTH had sex. They made the consious choice while having sex to know of the consequences of failure in conterceptives before they started. So it fails.. the women has an obligation to support that child whether he does or not.. because its her part. She can control only herself not him . He choses to pay or not.. he suffers the consequences. But to sit here ****en about it is not going to change it. My husband owes me 40,000 in back pay .. I get up everyday and go to work and at the end of the day know..that I supported my kids .. and I did my part.. If i sat here miserable complainng about what he has and hasn't done I would be depressed. Lifes to short to sit and complain.. make the best of life and forget the rest.. it takes more energy to be miserable then to just move forward..
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Appropriate to wear in public/with kids?
Posted: 7/28/2008 11:39:23 AM
I would like to think Im a cool mom.. one that lets her children be themselves and I talk to them freely and them to me. But wearing a tshirt like that would some how make me feel like I was giving the people the wrong impression of how much I cared about other people. Would maybe give the perception that my kids will be raised with the same amount of respect for others. "shut the * up" is kinda over the top .. I mean don't get me wrong I have a tshirt that says "cougar in training" ..lol but it isnt telling people to shut the hell up.. or showing disrespect for other people. The problem with kids now adays IS lack of respect... the tshirt she wore confirms it.. does it not...
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Jumping the gun with IM's...
Posted: 7/28/2008 11:33:23 AM
Yes, a daily occurence. "Hi im not looking for sex .. but whats your favorite position".. just block them and go on with your day. It will never stop nor will it get better until youve blocked all the idiots...lol You have to kiss alot of frogs before you find a prince..and its just as frustrating on here....
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
A newbie here! Any bad experiences with posting your picture?
Posted: 7/28/2008 10:35:42 AM
I come from a small town too. Yes, lots have recognized me. And now that this is the new way to date.. Ive had minimum grief about it. Actually the only rude comment I even heard was "are you still looking for a bf" wich I simply said "if you read my profile it said "looking for friends" and it shut her up. Most people are in the same boat as us so they don't say to much. Most of my comments Ive had about being on it is "wow I saw you on plenty! I knew I saw your face somewhere.. I just joined" .. so whats wrong with that really. People know its the alternative to trying to meet decent people in a bar.. so go for it.. put up your pic and have fun!!
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Dirty talk......
Posted: 7/27/2008 5:23:38 PM
I agree. Its about being a lady during the daytime.. carrying yourself well and taking care of yourself. Being sweet and never acting out badly... Until.. he closes the door at night.. then.. be whatever he wants you to be..and the talk.. only hightens the unleashed lil bad girl in you ....
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 553 (view)
 
Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 7/26/2008 10:42:54 AM
However, I suggest that anyone involved with a BP, read the book "Walking on Eggshells", go to the websites recommended in the book, and do his/her own research on the disorder. It's not something that someone else can "love someone else through", and often, being "supportive" deters a BP from owning his/her own feelings. It gives him/her validation that it's always "someone else's fault".


Actually I work with them on a weekly basis. I have had a great deal of research and am givin ample books and courses to help with BPD sufferers. The facilitators I speak of "are" mental health therapists. They are trained in BPD as I will be when done my schooling also. This "cure" You speak of is like anything else. They will never not be BPD but they will have the skills and the ability to manage and live normal lives. Ive seen it and for years. Alcoholics live with being sober. Anxiety suffers cope with anxiety and manage their attacks so they are next to nil. And BPD sufferes learn to manage all thier fears and recognize why they do what they do and alter it. Part of Linahans recovery is about changing ones thoughts whether it be core beliefs or beliefs from abuse etc.. changing ones thoughts.. changing ones reactions to crises.. changing ones ways of coping. Its been intriguing talking to you about this but I think that we have different experiences and knowledge on this subject and I feel we could go on forever about what we both know and thats not helping anyone really. There is help for the sufferers and the survivors of the ones who have to live with the sufferer. My point in it all.. is there is positives and thats recovery for the people with this disorder..and there is hope and proven success.. lets stay positive and hopeful .. not discourage the ones reading.. .
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 550 (view)
 
Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 7/26/2008 10:03:07 AM

Unlike alcoholism, depression, and anxiety, most insurance plans won't pay to treat BPD, because there is no path to recovery. Unlike bi-polar, anxiety, depression, meds have not been developed that have shown any widespread effect. Cognitive therapy, likewise, has only had anecdotal "successes", none that can be truly documented, that I'm aware of.


Unfortunately even though You sound like you have some knowledge in this there are documentations.. ALOT..... Linahan is the world known expert on "recovering" from BPD. I sit once a week with over 20 BPD recoveries and listen as they are taught skills and tell stories of how they have recovered from the BPD issues and live normal healthy lives. The facilitators have workbooks written by Linahan and the skills and the way they are taught have proven that it has worked for Years.. The facilitators whom teach this have been doing it for 5 years plus as far as I am told. Linahan has movies and her books on BPD and the documentation on the outcomes of these people. You talk as if they are never cured ..lol that alcoholics etc can get better but they can't that is discourging and sad and untrue. Also, alot of BPD are on meds.. ant- phycotic for the impulse thinking and anti-depressants for mood and ability to focus. They have come along way.. Im not sure how far in the United States but in Canada your claims ring untrue for BPD sufferers.
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 544 (view)
 
Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:23:49 PM
Actually...they are not calling it borderline personality disorder anymore. It's called "emotional regulation" Its sad to see that people whom aren't educated in the disorder actually feel that their opinions are even worthy to discuss it. Yes I agree with the book "I hate you, don't leave me" it helps many people living with a person that has a hard time regulating there emotions ... People who have this can live normal lives and healthy relationships with the skills and the support to learn to think and react differently to the things that hurt and scare them. They are no worse off then the people who get beaten as children and learn to trust again. They are just people who have to learn like ALL of us out there how to communicate and how to live with issues. I bet theres not one person on here that doesn't have an issue..such as alcoholism, depression, anxiety..etc.. yet we are sitting here rippen at the BPD..lol halarious and really ignorant and I mean the real definition of ignorant "uneducated to what BPD really is" .. thanks for the opportunity to have a lil giggle.
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 57 (view)
 
How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/7/2006 12:10:16 AM
Ive been doing it alone for so long its what I know.. even in my 10 year marriage he was too busy partying and hangin with his freinds to really be active.. I worked two jobs and raised the kids..one job was the manager of the daycare facility the kids were at so I could be there... they were in there cuz he didnt "Babysit" his kids he partied instead..and when he left.. I was so used to doin it alone it was no different.. My kids are awesome..13 and 11 now and they have everything they need.. my son ski's and plays drums, just got him a new drum set for his room..and my daughter plays piano in my living room and figure skates...times have changed people.. gone are the days that two parents are there.. our children will do well.. teach them love, respect and dignity and they will be just fine..
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
not fighting to save your relationship/give up too easily
Posted: 8/6/2006 11:57:40 PM
I fought ten years to save a marriage for the kids sake...and it wasn't worth the fight. On the topic of "fighting" in a relationship though, I agree u have to have some sorta arguments to get out ur differences and also it brings you closer to eachother in the end.. If you don't argue you aren't communicating cuz no two people get along all that time unless they cohabitate instead of love.
 fiestybaby
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
We are alone cuz we really don't try...
Posted: 3/17/2006 10:16:16 PM
Funny thing is.. for the first time in my life I realized that people weren't my answer.. society dictates you "need" to have a bf to be "normal" .. the whisper "wow she doesn't have a bf whats wrong with her".. guess what people.. NOTHING.. but I didn't realize that til recently when I hit rock bottom when it comes to dead end relationships.. had to analyze it and figure out why the hell I wasn't happy with anyone including my 10 year marriage that broke up.. guess what I found out.. cuz people don't make you happy.. U MAKE U HAPPy.. now.. I love spending time with myself.. I Can stand the silence and I actually enjoy being ALONE.. People aren't ur answer so thinkin u can't live without a date if its been longer then 6 months.. its been 7 for me .. and Im ok with that. .I accept it..and I chose to be alone.. why is that you ask? ..cuz im waiting for mr. right to find me ..when Im ready to have a relationship that will last.. no rushing.. no expectations.. no thinkin he is my answer.. he is a bonus to my life not a requirement.. try that analygy on !
 
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