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 Author Thread: What is the worst way you were ever dumped?
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 102 (view)
 
What is the worst way you were ever dumped?
Posted: 7/17/2013 1:53:02 AM

Please tell me you're joking. Please. Because no one could be that big a piece of shit.

Wow.


Actually, yes, they can. Several politicians have made news for doing similarly awful things. Newt Gingrich served one of his wives with divorce papers when she was in the hospital battling cancer. John McCain left his first wife for another woman after he returned from the Vietnam war to find his wife disabled from an auto accident. There are a couple others but i'm too tired to remember the specifics now at 5am. Anyway, yes there are men who are bigger pieces of shit than the guy who brought his mistress when his wife had a baby.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Why does inexperience make women so uncomfortable?
Posted: 6/8/2013 2:42:04 PM
Women find social awkwardness extremely repulsive, and as you have seen, they're actually frightened by it. I'm like you. I've asked out more than 200 women and ALL have rejected me, and many have been quite nasty about it. I've been asked out by women, who all turned out to also be repulsed by me, but wanted something from me. Be careful if women do ask you out; it is unlikely that they're being honorable.

Ask yourself this: What do you really want a woman for? What do you have going for you in life? Have you a fulfilling career, hobbies, etc. that make life worth living? If so, ask yourself why you really want to put yourself through the trauma of trying to get people who are deeply frightened by you to like you. You have nothing to offer them, and I suspect they have little to offer you.

I'm not saying this to be mean to you. I made this same evaluation of my life several years ago, which included researching what scientists have discovered about human attraction, and talking to women who were willing to be honest with me about what was 'wrong' with me. As one told me, "You're a sweet guy, but you have nothing to offer but affection, and women can get that from their dogs." The scientific literature basically said the same thing about men like us. It was time to walk away and concentrate on my career (I'm an artist, which is really not work at all to me because I so enjoy it!) and the son I had with a woman who told me she used me just to have a baby cause I seemed like a guy who would pay child support. I have custody of him and she has walked away from him after having a baby with a loser thug a couple years ago (her and I split up many years ago but she remained in our son's life till she had her new baby. My son is 16 now and glad she's gone).
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Complimenting appearance
Posted: 4/23/2013 5:59:05 PM

You poor men? LOL. It doesn’t make her experience any less valid just because she is a woman.


You didn't understand what he was saying. Women despise compliments; they kill any attraction she might have felt because it triggers the 'too nice' switch in her brain. Men, however, are totally different. We like women who are NICE to us, not those who act aloof and uncaring.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 56 (view)
 
How can you date when you are SO bitter?
Posted: 3/30/2013 11:47:12 AM
Feel better now, juliettes7? Spitting on others sure feels good, doesn't it? You might try learning reading comprehension though. My analogy about shopping had nothing to do with women being gold-diggers. Nothing. Just meant that you have to have something to offer women for them to want you. Doesn't have to be money. Few women i have met actually cared about that, but the ones I said were looking for someone to support the kids fathered by men they found attractive ACTUALLY TOLD ME THIS IN PLAIN ENGLISH. You would know that, had you actually read what I wrote.

You're so obsessed with the golddiger theme that you are projecting it on everything I said. How sad. When I sad I had to change everything about myself, I did not say anything about money. I have that! I'm a high school teacher, I make more money than most people where I live (most jobs here pay $8 an hour...really bad economy), so money is something I have. If I thought that was all women cared about, I'd not need to change a thing.

What I am saying is based on long experience and what women have TOLD ME. Can't get any plainer than that. If you're too dumb to understand, that is on you. Sorry. Some people just cannot be taught.

Like I clearly said in my first post, I didn't not feel this way about women until I finally sat down and began to logically evaluate what was wrong with me that made me so unattractive to women. Once I figured it out (and I am very thankful to the many women who were willing to honestly tell me what they TRULY thought), I had a decision to make. I could change everything about my personality, or I could give up on women. I chose, of my own free will, to walk away from women because I was not willing to give up so much of what defines me as a person. That's my choice and my right, I'm not sure what you find so offensive about it. By happy, there's less competition for women when someone like me 'drops out' of the race.

Women had always acted like I was some frightening monster when I talked to them. I am so awkward around people, and that is what turns them off, not any bitterness that I DID NOT HAVE at the time. That's who I am; I am badly damaged psychologically and emotionally because of things that have happened in my life. I was already broken before I even got to be old enough to date. I just didn't realize it at the time. Why spit on someone like me, I am hurting enough already.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 53 (view)
 
How can you date when you are SO bitter?
Posted: 3/29/2013 12:11:59 PM
POF keeps giving me an error when I try to edit my last post, so here is what I was trying to add:

I have had a few of the women who wanted me to support their kids try to entice me by asking this: "Don't you miss a woman's touch, being with someone, sex, kissing, etc?" Asking me this is like asking me if I miss driving a Rolls Royce. Problem is, I have never driven one, and never will. They're out of my reach, and I'm perfectly happy with my Crown Victoria. Most of the women I have dated would not even hold my hand. What do I have to miss?
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
How can you date when you are SO bitter?
Posted: 3/29/2013 12:01:39 PM

Oh god! I don't know what you do or don't have to offer but this attitude alone is enough to keep most women away. It is the BIGGEST turn off ever. I mean you might be right, but the fact that you are saying this and you are feeling this even if you went out and met someone they would be able to smell it on you.

My point is, this attitude might have been the reason you were not successful...so you can't really say you have nothing to offer when no one stuck around long enough to find out due to the attitude that you have nothing to offer.

It's kind of self-fulfilling prophecy and I think it's sad when people reach this level.


I didn't feel this way when I was still trying to find someone. I thought I had a lot to offer, but I was finally forced to rethink my belief. I have asked out over 200 women over a period of many years, and ALL of them turned me down, most with a level of viciousness that I still cannot understand. I understand a woman getting offended if a guy asks her out in a non-respectful way (eg. "Hey baby, let's f--k"), but not when a guy asks her to go on a respectable date. I didn't ask anyone again, after being turned down, so I wasn't bugging or stalking anyone. I wasn't asking out women who were way above me in looks, money, education, etc.

At the same time, I did get asked out by women on occasion. Most never spoke to me again after one date, and those who did see me again would, in most cases, date me for a long time (several months) while refusing to have any physical contact with me. I don't just mean sex; before you do that, you should have held hands, kissed, etc. Right? All of them admitted that they were repulsed by me even before asking me out, but I appeared to have money and they wanted someone to spend money on them, take them out to eat, etc. till the guy they REALLY wanted came for them. Many actually were obsessed with someone they already knew but he didn't want them.

As I've gotten older, I've had a lot of women with several kids fathered by losers try to get me to take care of their kids financially; some came right and asked me to do so! No, thanks. I have a 16 year old son, and my money and attention are his (he lives with me).

Finally after the last woman I dated dropped me instantly when a loser with a guitar showed up in her life (she's still supporting this loser financially because he won't work...they're still together, lol) a few years ago, it was time to analyze what was wrong with me. A very good friend suggested that I find out what women want, and then carefully think of what, exactly I have to offer.

I spent a couple of years talking to women I knew who were friends or otherwise willing to tell me truthfully what they wanted in men and what they thought of me. I also spent a considerable amount of time in the university library while I worked on my MA, looking at social science research on human mate selection. One old friend, a woman who is like a sister to me, told me that I had nothing to offer but affection, and women can get that from their dog or cat. Harsh, but she was right.

I did have things to offer, but none had any value to women. I am unable to change some of the things that are wrong with me, and the others I am unwilling to change. I would have to become a completely different person, abandoning my work, my hobbies, my ethical and moral beliefs, and my basic way of life. I couldn't live with myself if I threw away all that made my life worth living. I can live without women; I cannot live without the things I would have to give up for them.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
How can you date when you are SO bitter?
Posted: 3/28/2013 3:00:51 PM
I don't date, anyone, ever. Not bitterness though; simply a recognition that I have less than nothing to offer. For the same reason I do not go shopping on days when I have no money, I don't try to date when I can offer nothing that women value in men. Waste of time, better spent on things I can succeed at.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/23/2013 7:36:53 PM
I've had a lot of women ask me the same thing over the years. It didn't offend me because its not something I see a reason to get offended over. There are bigger issues in my life than some silly question on a date.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 130 (view)
 
Forgotten wallet leads to disaster
Posted: 3/7/2013 6:29:05 PM

No man really forgets his wallet. You wanted her to pay as she has more money and really you are getting sex for free with a wealthier woman, how long was that going to last????....It was not an honest mistake and she knows it. She is over you and really she can do better and she will.


How long do you last with such a nasty personality?

I've forgotten my wallet several times over the years when going out to eat, because I often don't pay attention to little things; I'll change my pants and forget to move my stuff from the pockets of the old to the new. I've never had a woman have to pay for my meal, because I have my Visa card's number and expiry memorized. I eat out a lot, and the managers and staff of the restaurants I eat at all know me well, so they let me punch in my card number to pay if I forget my card!

I haven't gone on a date with anyone in many years, but it used to amaze women on the few occasions when it happened on dates that i had my card numbers memorized, lol.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Over 30 Women & Cuddly Cat pictures
Posted: 3/6/2013 5:43:39 PM
I love cats, and have a "Cuddly cat photo" on my profile. Far worse to me is the women who have little barking rat dogs that they think are children. Yuck.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Change your Personality???
Posted: 2/26/2013 2:08:38 PM
I asked myself that same question, once I realized that I had absolutely nothing to offer women. Should I change who I am? I didn't even have to think about it; the answer was a resolute NO. I would have had to give up everything that I am and everything that I have spent my life achieving to become acceptable to women, and women just are not worth that. The price was just too high.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 3737 (view)
 
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/7/2013 2:27:01 PM

Mosaic laws forbid adultery. So you say that is your area of expertise? Interesting. I guess you totally forgot about Exodus. FYI, Mosaic laws are in the Torah.


Adultery was defined differently in ancient Israel than it is in modern societies. Back then, adultery was a man sleeping with a woman who belonged to another man, and for women it was sleeping with any man who did not have legal ownership over her (as wife, concubine, or slave). Thus, sex with slaves or concubines was not an adulterous act for a man, even if he were married. Also note that men would have multiple wives then.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 2/3/2013 4:45:21 PM

At least I don't put 'Bacholer's Degree' on my profile...like every second person does.


Hate to get your hamster spinning, but have you considered that he puts "Bachelor's Degree" because he HAS a Bachelor's Degree? If "Every second person" has a Bachelor's Degree, its not a bad thing. It means they're educated. You should try it. You might learn something.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Recently Had A Bad Date
Posted: 1/29/2013 11:52:09 PM
I am laughing at the cat comment because I pay attention to how my cats act the first time a date comes over. My one would never come out when a man I dated for 7 months came over. He would joke she had no legs. Well, the next man I was involved with she loved. I dated him longer, and felt they are both a good judge of character.lol


My grandpa's cat tried to warn me about my son's mother, when I first began dating her.

The cat, Molly, was born at grandpa's house when I was 15. This little gray kitten was so awesome, she loved me, and I wanted to take her home. My parents wouldn't let me have her because she was really mean to my mom, so for the rest of the cat's life (she lived to be 19!), I visited frequently, and would bring her food at grandpa's house.

When she grew up, she continued to be super lovable to me, but she was absolutely evil to other animals. She used to kill rattlesnakes, and would bring the heads back! Grandpa's redneck neighbor had a pitbull he used for dog fights (he went to prison for it). It was a mean one! One day, Molly walked over to his yard, climbed a fence post on the dog's pen, and jumped on his back and clawed his face apart. Just for the fun of it. When she got done, she slipped through the fence, stopped to look back at the now very angry dog, and said "Rrreoow!" then walked away! When grandpa got a dog, she jumped on top of the dog's cage, reached in, and clawed his face up while he was locked in the cage! She killed more than 6000 mice, moles, chipmunks, rabbits, and snakes during her lifetime.

Despite being so mean to other animals, she was nice to most people. She continued to hate my mother, because my mom is the sort of person who has to f--k with animals, poking at them and teasing them. My son's mother was not like that, she loves cats. Still, Molly hated her on sight! Every time we would visit my grandparents, that cat would attack this woman! When she wasn't attacking, she would sit across the room and GLARE at the girl! The woman turned out to be completely psycho. I should have listened to the evil cat.

Molly is my big orange kitty's aunt. His mother was Molly's sister. Molly and her sister were tiny, dainty little cats, not huge like Simba.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Graduate Degree ?
Posted: 1/26/2013 11:36:27 AM

She went to school for hairdressing, she Graduated, got a degree for it. So yeah what's to complain about? she's handling her business.


The problem is a little thing called "Reality." The cold hard fact is that a beauty school diploma is NOT a graduate degree. A Masters Degree is. This woman is either lying, or she doesn't know what she's talking about. Do you want to date someone who is either dishonest or stupid? I don't.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Graduate Degree ?
Posted: 1/25/2013 11:11:25 PM

I don't know what that is. When you graduate you get a degree, usually a 4 year batcheor's degree but some places offer a 2 year associate's degree. If you pursue further education you can get a post-graduate degree. You either have a degree or a post-graduate degree. To the best of my knowledge there is no such thing as a graduate degree. Nor is there such a thing as an undergraduate degree. It may interst you to know that before the 2008 financial crisis 17% of servers (aka waiters and waitresses) in the USA had degrees. It's no doubt higher now. Keep that in mind next time you order a latte. :)


Graduate Degree does not mean you graduated from college. It means you graduated from "Graduate School", meaning you have a masters degree. A Bachelors degree is an Undergraduate Degree, and a Doctorate Degree is a Post-Graduate Degree.

I think a lot of the hairdressers who list 'graduate degree' are simply confused as you were, thinking that it meant you graduated from some sort of post-high-school course.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:07:11 PM
I'm surprised a woman is like that. Most women are so enthralled by music that it rules their existence. I would love to meet a woman who wasn't. I went to a concert in high school with a friend and was so f--king bored that I'd have put a gun to my head to escape it if I'd had one. Not anything I have even the slightest interest in ever doing again. I still regret the hours of my life I wasted at that concert 20 years ago.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Have you become so Jaded that you think you will never marry?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:49:23 PM

ilovehistory...OMG..that cat is gorgeous. lol Is it a maincoon?


He looks like one, but his mother was a small shorthaired tortoiseshell cat. Maybe his father was a Maincoon? He was born at my parents house when I was in high school. My mom got tired of our female cat following her around the house whining and acting horny, so she threw the cat outside, and kitty came back pregnant! So, no one knows what kind of cat was my cat's father.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Have you become so Jaded that you think you will never marry?
Posted: 1/22/2013 3:13:55 PM
A man would be a damned fool to marry today. My attorney told me that marriage in the US is basically a license to steal given to women by the state. The lawyer is a young woman!

I've seen it happen to so many decent men, woman starts ****ing some loser badboy, divorces her husband and the courts reward her dishonorable behaviour by giving her his home, car, half his pension, and years of child support for kids she no longer has to let him have a real relationship with. No thanks.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 873 (view)
 
What makes a woman over 40 sexy?
Posted: 1/19/2013 2:22:33 PM
Same thing that makes young women sexy: a gigantic butt, thick thighs, and big breasts!
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Photos of my child on Facebook
Posted: 1/8/2013 6:14:31 PM
Hate it to break it to you, but your childrens' father has the right to photograph his children and post those photos of his facebook page, as does his current wife. There isn't a thing you can legally or morally do about it; its none of your business. If you think this guy is such an awful person, you shouldn't have had children with him. It really is that simple.

I have custody of my son. If his mother put photos of him on her Facebook page, I wouldn't give a damn. I might ask her for a copy if they were especially cute photos, but aside from that, its none of my concern. Likewise, its none of hers if I have photos of him on my Facebook. I actually have a lot of photos of him on my WEBSITE. Oh horror of horrors, photos of a child on the internet!
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 77 (view)
 
What has your dating experience been like in your 30's?
Posted: 1/6/2013 10:22:42 PM
Same as it was in my twenties. Rejected by every single woman I have ever asked out, while I have had a number of women ask me out who were all looking to exploit me in some way. none really wanted me. After 20 years of this, I finally had to accept that I have nothing to offer anyone, and I decided to concentrate on my art career and my son.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 254 (view)
 
SIngle dads with kids full time.
Posted: 1/2/2013 5:31:10 PM
A man raising his kids, caring for them fulltime instead of walking away from their lives or just seeing them every other weekend, is extremely unattractive to most women. Such men are 'too nice', thus boring.

Look at all the women who 'love' men who are deadbeat dads. One idiot woman I know has 4 kids with 4 different losers. When she was pregnant for her 4th kid, I asked her where the kid's father was. She told me he was IN JAIL. The reason why made me fall on the floor laughing! He was IN JAIL for...get this...NON-PAYMENT OF CHILD SUPPORT on kids he had with other women before her!!!!!!!
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 162 (view)
 
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/27/2012 11:27:08 PM

My ex-wife was bi-polar.

I won't go into details, but NO WAY IN HELL WOULD I GO OUT WITH SOMEONE THAT WAS BI-POLAR.


I agree 100%. My son's mother is bipolar, and over the years her condition got worse and worse. I left her because I couldn't stand her mood swings, paranoia, constant accusations that I cheated on her everytime a waitress was nice to me, etc.

On top of that, she was a terrible mother to our son, who she used as a pawn to hurt me by constantly refusing to let him see me. I finally got custody of him four years ago after the state of Indiana locked her up in a mental hospital for over a year. When she got out, she married a bipolar man she met in the psych hospital, then tried to get custody of our son back. The judge said no way! After that, she started drifting out of his life, and after she had a baby with her new husband, she walked away from my son completely.

My advice to anyone considering dating a mentally ill person is simple. DO NOT DO IT.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
dating in college at age 28?
Posted: 10/24/2012 8:36:48 PM
I earned my bachelors in Fine Arts when I was young, and couldn't get a date with anyone at all back then. I went back to school in my mid thirties for my masters degree in History, which I finished back in May of this year. I did not even try to date, as I have absolutely nothing to offer women. Had I wanted to, there were a lot of women my age back in school but most were married.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 44 (view)
 
When Do You Tell Them Your Real Name
Posted: 8/24/2012 11:23:36 PM
My name is not a secret. I'm a professional artist, and the women I have talked to here have always wanted to see my work, so I give them a link to my portfolio website. It has my name and bio. Like I said, my name is not a secret. My work has been exhibited in the local art museum and numerous galleries around here, and a local TV news program did a story on me several yrs ago, so I am fairly well known anyway. Would be silly to try and hide who I am.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 42 (view)
 
A weird experience, your views please...
Posted: 8/14/2012 7:06:18 PM
It was a "Shit Test". She didn't want you to buy her the flowers, she wanted to see if you would do what she said, and when you did she lost respect for you because you demonstrated that you were too nice.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 40 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/13/2012 5:27:53 PM

Yeah that Adolph Hitler, he had an inner beauty that you could really appreciate once you got to know him.


You do realize that Hitler, odious though he might be, had literally MILLIONS of followers willing to commit horrific crimes in his name, and many willing to die for him. He also had a girlfriend (Eva Braun) throughout the Nazi period; a girlfriend who married him right before they committed suicide together. She saw in inner beauty in him, incomprehensible though that is, and even today there are millions of racists, anti-semites, and German ultra-nationalists who revere him.

I find it fascinating that one of the world's largest Neo-Nazi movements today is in Russia, a country that lost 25 MILLION people fighting the Nazis. Hitler described the Russian people as 'vermin', and planned to have Moscow turned into a gigantic artificial lake in order to wipe out forever the fact that the center of modern Russian culture had ever existed. Still, an awful lot of Russians love the guy!
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/12/2012 10:33:19 PM
I have found that looks do not matter as much as people think. People certainly want someone they think is good looking, that is true, but what most do not realize is that people do not all follow the same 'standards' of beauty in the opposite sex. An example: Many women complain that men only want skinny women, but I know for a fact that I like BIG girls. Many other men do too. Another example: I have very long hair. A lot of women tell me to get a haircut, while others tell me my hair is sexy.

What I think is far worse than people choosing based on looks is the fact that most all women find decent, hardworking, men to be 'boring' and unworthy, while these same women screw every worthless scumbag 'badboy' they can find, This is not merely unfair to the decent men they reject, but to society as a whole. Taxpayers (decent, reliable men and women) have to pay for the intellectually inferior children these women give birth to from these loser men. We pay by supporting the kids via welfare, and we often pay again when they grow up to join the ranks of our enormous prison population.

Women often say they 'can't help it', they they're genetically programmed to like such men. Fine, but it does not speak well to your demands for equality if you're unable to evolve and adjust to the needs of modern civilization. We do not live in caves anymore, and you are not animals. Right?
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 156 (view)
 
Do men act more considerate to you when you are thinner?
Posted: 8/10/2012 8:34:30 PM
I'm way nicer to big women, especially if she has a huge ass.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What constitutes cheating?
Posted: 8/6/2012 4:44:28 PM
Who are the women? Lifelong friends, or women he's meeting on dating sites? Just talking to women is not cheating but if its flirting, not genuine friendship, then its cheating.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 831 (view)
 
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2012 6:30:11 PM
Unfortunately, I agree with you. This pertains to everyone regardless of parental status. It's true about the cost of living. An independent study in NJ illustrated by you have to make around 40K to cover basic cost of living there.

Government working hard for us huh. I agree with the minimum wage thing. 10 bucks can't even cover basic costs in most states, but it's better then the 7 dollars it is now.


Very true. Santa Fe has some of the highest housing costs in the country, especially when you consider that it is really a small town, not a major city. Santa Fe only has about 60,000 people, same as little Indiana towns like Muncie and Kokomo. I lived out there for a few years, before returning to Indiana because of my son. I am back in my hometown, a city of 250,000. In Santa Fe, one bedroom apartments started at $800 a month, and that was in the Barrio (that's Spanish for the bad high-crime section of town). In Fort Wayne, Indiana a one bedroom apartment in a nice complex is $400 a month, and you won't have to worry about gang shootings or drug dealers. (If you like gangs and drugs, Ft. Wayne has an area full of those things and rents are even cheaper there!).

$10 an hour is not enough in Santa Fe. Even in Fort Wayne a single person with no children would not really be able to make it on that. The city government here concedes that an individual here needs $11 an hour to survive. Add $10,000 a year for every other person in the household. Single parent with one kid needs a little over $30,000 in Ft. Wayne, and keep in mind that among cities, Ft. Wayne has nearly the lowest cost of living! New Jersey is much worse; your $20 an hour figure is probably spot-on.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 829 (view)
 
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2012 5:43:03 PM

My question if anyone knows the statistics is how many single parents are able to dig their way out in time? how many continue to use the system? and what can we do to support them so this is possible for more of them?


Likely very few. Not because they're lazy or bad people, or whatever, but because there really are not many good jobs left in this country. The IRS says that almost 50% of fulltime workers in the USA make so little that they are exempt from paying federal income tax.

The Federal government has a 'poverty line' set an an income level they claim is the upper level of poverty. The problem is, its a lie. The Federal Poverty Line is set artificially low to hide the true extent of poverty. Going by that falsified number, the government can claim poverty is only about 10% of the US population.

The Federal Tax Code is more realistic, exempting people from paying taxes due to poverty at much higher income levels that reflect the real cost of living, and going by that, the real poverty rate is about 45% in the United States. That's across the whole population, not just among single parents.

You want people off welfare? Push politicians for a realistic minimum wage that allows working people with fulltime jobs to support themselves and their families. The Minimum wage in Santa Fe, New Mexico was raised to $10 an hour several years ago, despite constant threats and screeching from business interests that they'd just fire all their workers. Well guess what, they didn't fire anyone. Unemployment actually dropped in Santa Fe after the wage was increased because people could afford to spend more money and it brought more customers to businesses, who then needed more workers.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Prepaid singles trip and a brand new relationship two months before.
Posted: 8/3/2012 2:06:50 AM

It has nothing to do with insecurity, geez, that's the favorite word of the very single crowd around here. It's gonna be wierd for him, period. He is obviously opening up to you which is a vulnerable period for anyone with feelings and the thought of you leaving the country for a singles trip is off putting at the very least. Understandable.

What I know of singles vacation clubs is that the popular ones are set up to get very sexy. Lots of group activity designed to get your hormones pumping etc... Encouraging casual sex is a constant theme, maybe yours is more conservative. I don't know of any that are and I am in the vacation business and have heard many stories and they are pretty wild. If it's one of the Hedonism resorts you may as well bring several boxes of condoms, don't trust the ones made in asia...

What else did he do for you to consider him jealous and controlling besides ask you not to go?


This is the only intelligent response the OP's question got. Seriously, people; this woman is going on a SINGLES TRIP. That means a trip to hook up with men. Would you want someone you're seeing going on one without you? Its a free country, and this woman is free to slut it up all she wants, but don't expect any decent man to stay around while you do it, and don't come whining that men don't respect you when you will not act respectable.

I understand most people cannot see past the tips of their own noses, but do try and think how you would feel if you were in that man's shoes.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 789 (view)
 
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 7/4/2012 4:31:27 PM

Ummmm, so you knocked up some cuckoo chick that is crazy to the point where she cant care for your son, but you talk about women choosing the wrong guys? Come on dude.........i respect completely that you are a good Dad & care for your child, but the judging on your part is, well, rather silly.
If I met someone like you in real life, say at a PTA meeting or something, I would respect you as a fellow parent, & as a single parent, maybe even try to strike up a friendship seeing as we have something in common, but you would just look at me & assume "dumb broad who sleeps with losers"? (i am a widow, but you wouldnt know that if you saw me with my kids, you might just assume i am one of those Maury Povich show type single mother).


She was able to care for him until a few yrs ago. If she'd been like that when I met her, I'd have never dated her.

Every day, I see women by the hundreds with men who are absolutely worthless. Guys with their pants hanging off their asses, guys who don't even have a car, who have zero education and even less ambition. You're damn right that I condemn them. Lie with dogs, get fleas.

Hell, even my mother admitted to me that most women of my generation are idiots and whores. After years of not working for a living (housewife), she got a job and has suffered serious culture shock from listening to her (mostly younger) co-workers talk about their personal lives, lol.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 781 (view)
 
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:47:41 AM
^^^ Ummm.....you have a kid yourself, no? So you must be guilty of these very same things, yes?


Nope. I never ran away from my son. I have custody of him, and take care of him myself. His mother is mentally ill, she cannot help how she is. When I met her, she was a middle class university student, a talented writer and artist, and a historian like me. Someone with a bright and respectable future. Mental illness took away her ability to fulfill her potential. No one chooses to be mentally ill. She was a highly intelligent, talented woman. I still have a couple of her landscape photographs on my walls, and a number of them reside in private collections...sold from gallery and museum exhibits that her work was included in many years ago, in happier times.

The worthless men that most women chase are the exact opposite. They are scumbags because they choose to be scumbags. The women know they're worthless, and screw them anyway, because they're attracted to their personalities. The fact that these men have no education, no intelligence, nothing in life that means anything to them beyond getting laid and getting drunk/high just makes them all the more attractive to women.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 778 (view)
 
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 7/2/2012 9:47:43 PM

Sigh.. and old fashioned man would be a gentleman and would not put a woman down for the choices she's made in her life.


Why not? Decent men, who have lived their lives intelligently, do not want some idiot who has popped out a bunch of kids with losers.


All these women are having kids because some young stud who called himself old-fashioned came along and told them how wonderful and great they are and how wonderful and great everything will be and much of a good man and a gentlemen he is... then vanished when $hit got real. or some other story along those lines.


Surely you don't actually believe that? The truth is, 99% of single moms fell for a loser. They knew he was a loser from day one, but they found it attractive. Decent men, responsible, morally upright men, are BORING. So, these idiots chase and f--k the lowest, scummiest, most worthless badboy they can find. Then, she cries and stomps her feet when, big surprise, the guy splits after she gets pregnant. Gee, you'd never have seen that coming!

These women get exactly what they deserve. Actions have consequences.

Bed.
Made.
Lie in it.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Always learning
Posted: 7/2/2012 9:34:07 PM

At twenty five if you had it all figured out I would consider you delusional. I personally hope to always be learning.


You wouldn't believe how many people there are where I live who have absolutely no desire to ever learn anything, ever. These people don't think they have it all figured out; they know they don't know a lot, and they are happy and PROUD to be ignorant. I finished my masters degree in history in May. It took me a few yrs to do it since I only took a couple of classes at a time. I was constantly told be everyone that I met that I was an 'idiot' for wasting time and money learning about history.

I have great respect for those who feel that learning is important, and never-ending. I'm done with formal education, but will never stop reading and studying. I read a book a week, sometimes more.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Putting some Legalese in the footers of profiles
Posted: 6/26/2012 2:06:09 PM
None of you posted the truth, so far as the law is concerned, about pictures posted online and the rights of the subjects, photographers, and potential users of the images.

I am a professional photographer and graphic artist. My income comes 100% from licensing the use of my work to businesses. In the USA, copyright on photos belong to the photographer. That means the person who took the picture, not the subject, unless it is a self-portrait. No © symbol or notice is needed to protect that copyright, it is automatic and lasts the lifetime of the photographer plus a long number of years after he/she dies (75 years, if I remember correctly).

The POF terms of service give POF the right to use the photo by displaying it on the POF website on your profile and the right to use it in POF advertising. You also give them the right to allow other users of the site to download it onto their computers (necessary for them to SEE the photo. All pics you view online, on any website, get downloaded to your computer, where they're stored in your browser's cache folder for a time.)

Can you really do anything about it if someone takes your photo off the site? The answer is, "it depends." An individual who thinks you're hot and copies to his computer's PICS folder is violating your copyright, but the cost of suing him/her is high, and the rewards when you win low, since the courts award damages based on the the economic loss the photographer suffered. Keep in mind, also, that only the photographer, not the subject can sue for copyright infringement unless you took the photo yourself or the photographer sold you full ownership of the copyright (just giving you a CD of images is NOT giving you the copyright).

If the photo is taken and used commercially (for example, a business uses it in an ad for their company, or a publisher uses it to illustrate a book or a magazine article), then suing for Copyright infringement is more realistic, because there was economic loss to the photographer, who would have been paid for use of the image.

If you didn't take the photo and someone uses it commercially, you do have the right to sue for using your likeness without permission. This is not the same as copyright, and generally speaking newspapers and news magazines are exempt from the requirement to have signed permission forms (model release) from people in the photos they publish. But, advertisements and business websites DO need your permission to the your likeness.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Why the hate for Video Games?
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:46:33 AM
I went to my daughter's art exhibition yesterday (her stuff was awesome and out-shone a lot of the work done by those graduating from the course she wants to do over the next two years - sorry, I just had to get that in somewhere on these forums...)

Anyhow, the exhibition covered a number of courses (various arts, photography, fashion) and included techno stuff that I'm too stupid to understand. One course was obviously the kind of stuff of video game graphics and it was really quite impressive (once I got over the shock of this particular studio smelling decidedly 18 year old bloke like) to see stuff moving about on screens that these young folk had created. I'm kinda thinking it takes intelligence and talent to do that. There was one student chatting to someone about having achieved something he'd never done before for his final project with much smug and excitable grinning. It was good to see.

In my (A level) college days the nerdy computer blokes were considered uncool and lacking in social skills and admittedly, they did seem to blink painfully on the rare occasions they came out into the daylight. Its said that maybe as much as 1% of the population have autistic spectrum traits to varying degrees and I reckon anyone who writes in machine code has got to be a little on the Aspergic side. Without machine code, we wouldn't be able to communicate as we are, so we're reliant upon these nerdy, possibly socially awkward people (who are probably earning shed loads) for the life that we choose to lead. It seems to be a little churlish to then criticise their life-style choices and talents under the circumstances.


Congratulations to your daughter on her exhibit. The kind of 3D computer-modeling used for modern games does take a lot of talent and knowledge. My son has taught himself some of that, and done some cool stuff, and he's just 15. Its beyond my capabilities (I'm a photographer, mainly, but I also do php and coldfusion coding and web design as well).

When you look in the studios where students are creating this, remember that 99.99999% of those who actually play the games regularly do NOT have that talent, education, etc. There is a difference between creating the games, and playing them. One takes far more talent and knowledge than the other.

You didn't mention what kind of art your daughter does, or what she wants to do with it after school. If she wants to get into video game design, either in the graphics end of it, or the programming, she will be joining a very male dominated field. A lot of female artists are becoming interested in computer graphics, and that is leading many of them to video game companies for jobs. It will be interesting to see how this influx of young women into this industry that has been dominate by men for 30+ years now will affect how video games are played, how they look, and what 'story' underlies them. As someone else mentioned, games now tend toward violence; I wonder if that will soften in the future?
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Why the hate for Video Games?
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:39:58 AM

How about sharing your life with somebody? One could very well feel that you're unambitious being stuck in the inertia that is your (loveless) life. It would explain your bleak outlook on life.


No inertia in my life. To me, a go-nowhere life belongs to those who spend their lives working 40-50 hours a week making someone smarter than them rich. Today, I didn't go to work. Haven't done so for a decade. Gracias a Dios! My son and I have a good life, and I'm able to spend more time with him than my dad could with me, because he worked too much to satisfy my mother's insatiable greed. I'm able to make a good living, doing something I truly love, and am not working long hours making someone else rich. That is called Freedom. That's the greatest achievement of all.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Why the hate for Video Games?
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:19:00 AM

Well, I think Artists are out of their minds and should be shot on sheer principle. Does that make us even?


Nope, just makes you a bigger fool. I may well be out of my mind, but I am accomplishing something lasting with my life.


And do you know what it ultimately is going to amount to? NOTHING. Like most of us, 99.9% of us, it will amount to strictly and absolutely nothing. When you die, you die, no matter what you accomplish. How many people made history? So stop being so caught up in how great you are and how other people suck. Have a beer and a blunt :-P

So, is it a crime to have fun before dying? Or do you really have to bleed life dry and live un the fast lane until you go pipi in a tube?
Regardless, last I checked, your as single as I am, bro. I wouldnt go around yelling at people I dont know that they are wasting their lives, unless I`d like someone to pop my teeth out with a 2X4...


Typical imbecile. Threatening violence because he can't argue on facts. Go ahead, thug, pop out my teeth.

I've already made history. My work is in collections around the world. When I die, I'll be remembered. You'll still be a violent, ignorant thug. But, hey, beat up enough respectable people, and you may get your picture in the newspaper once or twice before they send you to prison.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:23:29 PM

If u ever will learn other language as well as my English is then u can correct my spelling n yes I want certain qualities in man it's called being in same page n wanting same stuff n just cone ting on many levels what is a point of being with someone I'm not into


I can speak English, Castillian (Spanish), and Russian. Interestingly, I can spell correctly in all three! Your profile says you have an associates degree, but here you say you have two degrees. In what? Abelian is right, what do you have to offer the 'superman' you seek?
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Why the hate for Video Games?
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:20:47 AM
There is no greater waste of time. Time is your life. You only get so many years to do something, to accomplish something real and tangible with your life. I see people sitting for hours in front of the TV or computer gaming, while the life of the real world passes them by. I have too much I need to accomplish in life, to waste it like that. Gamers are simply not ambitious people. Wastes of life.

To be fair to them, I feel the same about people who waste their lives watching television, or going out drinking all the time, or smoking weed, or letting their lives revolve around music or other corporate culture bullshit.

I'm an artist, my work has been exhibited all over the country and is in private collections around the world. I just finished my masters degree in history. I couldn't have done half of what I've done if I'd wasted my life playing video games. I have a 15 year old son. I know gamers who have kids, and every one is a horrid parent because all they want to do is play those damned games, and they ignore the most precious thing they have, their children.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Is not wanting kids an obstacle for 30 something women?
Posted: 6/15/2012 7:35:02 PM
There are men who also don't want kids.

There are also men who already have kids who are now in their 30s and do not want any more. If you don't object to being with a guy who has kids, but just don't want any of your own, then you'll find a lot of men in that situation.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
What dose it mean when a girl says this?
Posted: 6/10/2012 4:09:44 PM
I wonder what happened to the OP? Did she dump him?

If so, here's my guess. She found someone else. She might not have been looking for someone else, but someone else came along and captivated her. Women can drop their feelings for a man in a split second if someone she perceives as 'better' comes along and shows her some interest. That's just the way it is.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What should I think of this girl, she comes to see me 6 hours, but wont kiss or touch me
Posted: 6/3/2012 10:42:48 PM
Since no one (except abelian) has told you the truth, I will. I've been there, done that. Several times. I seem to attract women who want to date me, but won't touch me. Here's the thing. She's not shy, she's not scared, she's not taking it slow. She will NEVER touch you, even if you date her for a year.

Why? Because she is repulsed by you, but using you to entertain her till she finds someone better. Most likely, she is in love with some man she cannot have (he's taken, or he just doesn't want her), and she is pining away for him, but wants someone to entertain her while she waits for HIM to come back. She will never, ever touch you, because that would, in her mind, be cheating on HIM. Several women have admitted this to me.

She is using you, and she is screwed up mentally. Get rid of her. Maybe you can do better, maybe you are like me and cannot. Doesn't matter. Being alone is better than dating someone for months (and that is what will happen if you allow it) who avoids touching you as if you carry the black death.

Evaluate your life and what you really have to offer. If you have nothing or very little to offer, then stop wasting your time chasing women, you cannot have one, and you are wasting your life. Direct your life to something that you can succeed at, and find happiness in that.

If you are someone women can find attractive, then ditch this one and find one who wants you.

I can guarantee you, this girl you are seeing WILL kiss and touch and even have sex with HIM if he comes for her. You are NOT him.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 3686 (view)
 
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/31/2012 2:29:31 AM
The tradition of showing the bloody bedsheets after a newly married couple has sex the first time to show the girl was a virgin is still very much alive and well in some parts of Africa and in several countries in the Islamic world (Afghanistan, Pakistan, some parts of Central Asia, Yemen, Saudi Arabia). In Muslim countries, this is mainly done in the lower classes, not the wealthy or the educated classes. Still, it is practiced by a lot of people. In some countries, the groom's mother will wait by the bedroom door and go in the get the sheet as soon as the couple finishes that first sex act! If she didn't bleed, she is seen as a whore and is often divorced immediately, and in some of these countries, her father and/or brothers will kill her for dishonoring the family. Many men actually hide a piece of raw meat in the bedroom to stain the sheet with if the bride doesn't bleed, because he wants the woman even if she doesn't bleed! Some men in nomadic societies have been known to cut themselves on the leg or upper arm (a place covered by clothes so no one knows he did it) to get some blood to smear on the blanket for the same reason.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/30/2012 5:05:45 PM

I have had my son since he was 2 1/2. He's 13 now. The egg donor bailed when he was diagnosed with cancer. He's recovered now.


Your son's mother left because the child got cancer???!! What a f--cking ****! I'm glad he is healthy now.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Never a Religious Man around?
Posted: 5/29/2012 8:48:50 PM
Because we're intelligent enough not to believe in mindless superstition. There is no such thing as God. He was invented in ancient times by illiterate bedouin because they were afraid of nature, which they did not understand and could not control. This is the 21st Century. We're supposed to be civilized and know better than to believe in such silliness.
 
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