Did i mention the sex was amaising??? chat & forums.

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Thread: Did i mention the sex was amaising???

Joined: 3/18/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

Did i mention the sex was amaising??? Posted: 3/22/2006 5:36:48 PM
wow. i guess he doesn't have to make any excuses. you've made them all for him. i think it's completely obvious. you had sex with him although he was in a supposedly commited relationship. you continued to have sex with him after he got back together with his wife. you continued to have sex with him after he started having sex with someone else. he isn't calling you. he says he cares about you, but is afraid of getting hurt. that may be true. in fact it probably is. compulsive cheaters are insecure and can't handle commiting to one person because they risk vulnerability. apparently he doesn't have to worry about that. he has you. except he doesn't even want you. i know this because he is not calling you. and that's what people do when they like you. there are things he likes about you. he likes that you have sex with him. he likes that you inflate his ego. but he likes you at a distance. because he sees what i'm sure is quite apparent to everyone else. you want a relationship with him. you can deny this till you're blue in the face. it won't hurt me. but understand this: there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting someone to love you. in fact, it's absolutely human. my sister got me this funny book once called "how to make your man behave in 28 days or less using the secrets of a professional dog trainer." i'm not a man-hater, the book was obviously a joke, but it still made some great points. picture this: your dog (man) is running way from you. what do you do? (think about a dog, now.) if you chase him, he will just run farther. heres the plan: stay where you are, look like you're having fun. have fun. maybe wave one of his favorite toys in the air (figuratively speaking). and he'll come running back. and then YOU can decide if you really want him. don't expect him to love you, though. with this guy, i guarantee you the dog games will never end. p.s. the best thing that could happen is while you're having fun, you'll get over him. maybe meet someone else who has less issues. who calls you.

Joined: 3/18/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

is this relationship doomed? Posted: 3/22/2006 4:43:57 PM
if you have to ask yourself, the answer is usually yes. there are so many "great boyfriends, but" aren't there? if you're in a relationship with someone who is adamant about not wanting to change or says "this is who i am, you'll have to accept me," it isn't much of a relationship. it's fine to be who you are, except when you are hurting yourself or someone else. if you care about someone, but continue to do things which keep the relationship from moving forward, you are sending a very strong message: either "i'm not ready" or "you're not the one" i had a boyfriend like yours. he use to come over my house high. he knew it upset me. he always seemed to think i wouldn't notice. of course, his eyes were glazed and he was in another world and it was completely obvious. i only asked that he not do it when he was coming to see me. it really bothered me. as did many other things. he was "a great boyfriend, but." but...he wasn't a great boyfriend. but...i dated him for 2 1/2 years anyway. and that sends an even stronger message. that what's important to me is not that important. to him. or to me. because no matter how much we yell or complain, every time we accept him back we are accepting his behavior. respect yourself and move on. set a good example for your kids to follow. "My thought is that if he really wanted this relationship, he would quit the dope." see, you know this all already.

Joined: 3/18/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

Online Dating Guide for Men: Part Deux Posted: 3/22/2006 4:02:17 PM
forgot one: do not post a picture of yourself with our ex quit obviously cut out. this does not send a good message. take a new picture. and get over what ever she did to you, please. (the worst i ever saw was where a guy had actually "rubbed out" his ex from the picture using digital imaging. and he even explained what he did. very eerie,)

Joined: 3/18/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Online Dating Guide for Men: Part Deux Posted: 3/22/2006 3:55:22 PM
nice post. i'd like to add my own what not to do on a dating site list. (i may add to this.) what not to do on a dating site: say you want to find someone who "doesn't cheat" specifically state you have unresolved issues ("my ex cheated, so now you'll have to earn my trust." or worse, "i've learned not to trust anyone") display a picture of you with your ex display a picture of you before you gained weight display a picture more than two years old try to make your profile match someone's profile you like (be who you are, dammit!) say "we have so much in common" for no apparent reason talk about communication being important because you think that's what we want to hear take it personally (or get mad) if someone doesn't email you back or take an interest in you ask someone "why" they're not interested in you mispell every other word (try to make a good impression...it shows) forget to take your psych medication before you go online contact someone who wants a serious relationship when you just want an intimate encounter be unrealistic (if you're 52, overweight, and underemployed, don't be shocked if a young, athletic, professional is not smitten with you) have an aversion to communicating online (where do you think you are? it makes no sense) come across as overly negative or pessimistic about relationships or life in general. communicate "poor me" if you want to find the right person, be the right person. if you want to be liked, be likeable. be patient. if you're lonely, find other things to do. read a book. get a hobby. learn. grow. become a better person while you're waiting. if you're waiting for someone else to come in and change your life, that could be why your single. think about it. maybe it is you. maybe not. like yourself anyway. either way. and inevitably others will, too.

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