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secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

levels of working world Posted: 11/25/2006 7:37:10 PM
Trust me wpg I know exactly what the OP was referring to.....with my university education I don't need it explained to me but thanks just the same. Just remember when you get the lawyer job you are going after to thank the men and women who built the building the law firm is in for doing the physical labor to allow you to earn that 6 figure paycheque in such a finely built building. And just an FYI, there are plenty of "laborers" who earn well over what a university graduate earns. rcuhljr my father owns his own business, he is not the typical definition of what is classified as laborer....he was a business man just very hands on. But again I say thanks just the same, I'm not about to get in a back and forth over this...I had a few minutes and thought I would comment. Every point is valid, and we live in a country where it's not only allowed but encouraged...so have at it.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

levels of working world Posted: 11/25/2006 4:46:17 PM
An average job?????????....and what is so average about a waiter/tow truck driver/oil delivery man/garbage man?.......when you don't feel like cooking for yourself and want to be tended to who does the tending?...waiter and waitress......when you are stuck on the side of a dark lonely scary road who do you call to come?....tow truck driver........who is gonna keep your behind warm this winter....oil delivery man.......who ensures you don't have your own landfill in the backyard.....garbage man......please someone tell me what is so average about people who tend to every day needs by everyone in this self absorbed world. That construction guy that people put down as low income or dare I say it "blue collar" is the reason high paid lawyers have sky scrapers to practice law in.....after all let's be frank here.....The White House didn't fall from the clouds someone sweated and pained to build it so "highly educated/well to do" men can sit and make decisions "every day Joe" has to deal with. Would I date someone as was stated "a level down from me"......well wouldn't I just be the most arrogant I could ever be to think I am on a level above anyone else. I don't need any man to bring money to the table...my table has been taking care of for the last 14 years on my own, after university and even during then. My father was a laborer does that mean he is a level below what I am now??????????? Hardly I got where I am from the sweat of his brow!!!!!!!!!!

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

POF Christmas Party Nov 25th 7PM - 2AM Posted: 10/14/2006 6:32:09 AM
While I won't be attending, live in Cape Breton, I have to say every event I read of you all is very well planned and everyone seems very nice. It's a suggestion and put it on the head of a pin(for what's its worth) but instead of gifts for each other, why not have donate a new toy/clothes for Christmas for a child. Also any old winter clothing you have that your kids have outgrown, that you have outgrown would also be a good thing to have a donation box for. But like I said, head of a pin opinion.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

The Judge vs The Under-age Prostitute Posted: 10/6/2006 3:38:16 AM
What my problem with this is, if that poor child(and yes make no mistake she is a child, I have a 14 year old daughter and they are still children) was not a prostitute and he was not a judge but a man next door who sexually assaulted her, I dare say everyone would be up in arms screaming "pedophile" "child molester" (which he falls under both catagories as being) "send him to jail with the criminals to deal with". Insert the word "prostitute" and suddenly its "how can she be sexually assaulted"....easily the second she didn't want to do something he wanted and he went ahead and did it....sexual assault! That man is a pervert and a scumbag and I do hope he gets exactly what is coming to him, I just wonder when, and I do hope if, he gets sent to jail and gets a night time visit are they gonna call it a "violent assault" or "sexual assault". But what will probably happen is he'll start with the "she enticed me" and " I didn't know she was underage" or the most used "I had a miserable childhood"--well who the hell had a pristine childhood I wanna know. Just flat out aggravates the hell outta me that he will get away with it for the simple fact that poor child, who was probably kicked out of her house, or left because she thought the street was a better spot to fall than home. If she was Joe Smoe's daughter who was at home every night and on the debate team at school I am willing to bet there would be a different song sung.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Meeting someone in another country and stranded at the airport? Posted: 9/4/2006 11:54:37 AM
So you are thinking on going to meet this friend but have yet to mention it to him?.....Get your girlfriends together, plan the trip to Europe, mention it to him that you are all going and would he like to put a face(in the flesh) to the name. Myself, I couldn't do it, I read the horror stories and they stick in my head moreso than the success ones. I had been talking to a guy from the USA for about 3 years or so and he always brought up meeting..I would politely say "yeah that would be nice..blah blah blah" but my gut always said, hold off there girlie......turns out my gut instinct was right. Now he is a distant memory fond at times but distant nonetheless. Plan the trip with your friends and ask him to join you once you get there. IF you find all is not golden when you see him...then you haven't lost anything; either way you said yourself you were just entriqued with him as a friend so what do you have to lose. the mother in me is going to leave one thing left to say....safe safe safe....did I mention the word safe!

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

approaching someone in a bar. Posted: 8/31/2006 7:39:34 PM
Do not offer her a beer..or just send a drink over to her.....nine times out of ten you will creep her out and never get to talk to her. I like the suggestion of just going over and saying something casual, if she's a decent friendly enough gal when you ask her which one is better later on in the evening she may just ask you which one you got and why. I always preferred the guys who came up and just talked about anything and everything...even if it was just how bad the music was that night, or how busy the place is. I dated a guy for a year(one of us moved away) and it all started over a slice of pizza on a corner.....I wanted to get one and my friends wouldn't go with me and he had one and he offered me some of it....I didn't take any mind you but he turned out to be one of my fondest memories. One more thing....BE YOURSELF, if you change to impress her and she likes that, you are stuck with never being yourself as long as she is in your life. Personally I'm all about the goofy guys who can laugh at themselves.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

How Many? Posted: 8/31/2006 7:30:25 PM
Life is too short to be bitter. I wish he would have known what he was missing out on. All I ever wanted for him was all the best and for a speedy recovery from drugs that consumed his life to the point where he saw no other way to live. His depression was either brought on by the drug use or the drug use was brought on by depression. He was a great guy, friend to just about anyone he met, including me for years, and then all to suddenly he changed overnight. All I ever asked of him was to WANT to be around my child

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

How Many? Posted: 8/31/2006 7:25:16 PM
I didn't have to make this decision...he made it for us. Would I have let him in her life if he ever asked?...the fact that I went after him time and time again to get involved with her should speak the answer. There are reasons he shouldn't have been around her; those are neither here nor there. The fact remains that some parents, and yes some women do not want anything to do with their children just the same as some men do, for whatever reason just flat out can't be bothered....can a person figure out their thinking? not unless you are on the same wavelength of them. I have to so say though the whole "he's a great dad but..." bit makes me wonder exactly what the point is there! If he is so great why would he be kept away and if he was so rotten why would someone consider him a great father? I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't ever have wanted her father to be involved in her life...at the same time I"d be lying if I were to say I would have wanted him in her life in the drug induced/alcoholic state he was in. As for the last comment....most parents--and I am saying parents because some women bail just as easily as a man does--you can't judge how a person will react to parenting on the day you meet them....most people aren't fortunate enough to see into the future until they are watching the person they created a child with walking away without a backwards glance. Kids do not need both parents...they are both needed for conception and even that can be done in a clinic but yet a male and female are still needed. Some parents flat out do not deserve the pleasure. or are you saying that for instance my child is for the worse because she was raised by myself--no need to reply I have heard all the answers in either direction and until they live in my house and look in my mirror I take their opinions and to with them what I feel fit...same as I would expect someone to do of mine that I know nothing of their lives.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Should i take him back? Posted: 8/6/2006 9:42:15 AM
If you have to ask yourself that question you usually already know the answer, which if it were me would be a big flippin' Noooooooo

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Moving out then x girlfriend got all hissy and fuzzy. Posted: 8/6/2006 9:37:22 AM
People become ex'es for a reason.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Does she want me ? Posted: 8/6/2006 9:34:59 AM
you must have posted that second to last commen as I was typing....that does change things a little....can she take her little one to Canada if she decides to stay here?...is your moving there an option at all?

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

What does it take to make a long distance relationship work? Posted: 8/6/2006 9:32:51 AM
I can sum it up in one word....Trust..it has to be on both parts

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 125 (view)

Ladies do you like it when a man tells you what to do? Posted: 8/6/2006 9:25:46 AM
As for the advice he gave his friend to improve his sex life I'm sure it was nothing more than "switch hands" As for the original post, be serious...unless the man is lying there with one breath left in his body and the sunglasses are the only thing that is going to save him, sorry pal I'm in a conversation and you remember where the car was parked just as clearly as I do.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

have times really changed?? Posted: 8/6/2006 9:17:42 AM
Acting like someone a woman is attracted to but isn't you will last for the initial meeting but unless you are willing to completely keep the lie up(and yes its a lie) the real person is going to come out...same is true for women who try to change themselves to catch someone's eye.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Does she want me ? Posted: 8/6/2006 9:13:59 AM
Depends on if you are ok with being told you are nothing serious. She has a decision to make about where she is going to live but you have a decision to make on how long you are willing to wait for her to tell you where you two stand. just my opinion here and all of course but if you describe her as having serious problems shouldn't that be a red flag to yourself.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

A womans Opinion Please....... Posted: 8/6/2006 9:11:11 AM
I looked at your profile and I think you look nice exactly how you are. Not a fan of sideburns(although my father's back in the day were kinda cute) and I really don't like long hair on a guy, especially if the bugger ends up with nicer looking hair than me

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

girls and Volkswagens.... Posted: 8/6/2006 9:08:46 AM
I couldn't drive them they remind of toy cars....wayyy too tiny for me..I like things a little bigger what I want to drive is a Tracker what I am driving is a Sunfire what my daughter wants me to drive and drive herself in a few years is a big a&& Dodge Ram extendacab(dont even know what they are actually called) in silver with black interior.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

manners/respect Posted: 8/6/2006 9:04:24 AM
Manners are fastly becoming extinct in this world if you look close enough. It takes two seconds to hold a door for someone coming in behind you, a please and thank you should never be thought about they should just be automatic.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

How can I help a lady 'friend' get over her last jerk boyfriend..? Posted: 8/6/2006 8:57:07 AM
She still has a lot of anger and hurt from the last guy, if I were you I wouldn't step in the line of that by offering a date in the actual sense of it all.....suggest a dinner get together, catch a movie, anything casual, but I agree with the previous post, be there for her as a friend but don't sit around waiting for the magic day she'll be over him. My only advice, as a woman, is don't offer anything that puts that guy down, even if she asks, when she is past her hate(anger whatever it is directed at this guy) and ready to move on she is gonna remember things you said and get tossed back in your face--guilty of that to one guy and felt bad for it ever since Be her friend that's what she needs now more than a guy thinking on how to become her boyfriend later...Imho

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

WHATS AN EXCON TO DO Posted: 7/31/2006 7:16:28 AM
I would be honest with any potential date you had, same as you have to be with an employer however I wouldn't spit it out in the first 5 seconds of meeting her, myself that would have me saying "excuse me" and leaving....I don't mean it as to judge you it would just scare the bejeesus out of me at first. Let's not all forget we all have a past, some of it is good, some of it not so good, some we would rather never have to tell anyone about. It was one act a long time ago. its already ruled 25 years of your life, don't let it run the rest of it.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

why would you run and tell Posted: 7/31/2006 6:59:45 AM
he is obviously a boy trapped inside a man's body

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 148 (view)

Spray me, degrade me? Posted: 7/31/2006 6:52:37 AM
I'm just gonna sum it up in one sentence.......Ummmmmmmmmm nope!

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 84 (view)

Very long hair on a woman is very femine and sexy, but few women have long hair Posted: 7/31/2006 6:41:17 AM
My hair was long just about my entire life until I turned 20 with the exception of one bad bad bad haircut where I got the notion to go short and make it easier on me....well I never had such misery in my life, I was not a fussy girl so to have to gel hairspray and curl and recurl and spray and spray some more was torture to me, I let it grow up....then I did it again in university--I never learn lol My hair is short now but just because I don't like to wait til my hair grows out past that "awful stage" so I always go and get it cut again, I'm going to try to let it grow this time, for the simple fact of I like low maintainence hair care and short sure doesn't fit that bill......I miss my throw it in a pony days

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

Man I need serious help Posted: 7/22/2006 11:18:40 PM
You are wasting your talents, call a soap opera and become their head writer, it was entertaining just the same

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Video Games..You Tell Me.. Posted: 7/14/2006 3:19:54 PM
If you said they just got into the video games its probably the novelty of them all....my daughter went through that, and wouldn't walk out the door regardless of the weather until I outright threatened to toss it in the trash til her and her friend got out for awhile, it evidentually wore itself out and they found other things to play with......she said she just wanted to beat her day's before best. as for the nightmares they could be from the games, I work in retail and we aren't allowed to sell the mature games if we knowingly know they are young children. sit and talk to him about it, and perhaps even suggest going and renting games more their ages. I wouldn't worry too much about the time they spend playing them, the newness and the thrill of them will wear out its welcome soon enough.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Why do ladies never admit they have had 1 nite stands? Posted: 7/13/2006 7:33:00 PM
wayyyyyyyyyy back in university I had the total amount of 2 one night stands, with only one resulting in sex, so maybe it was only 1 one night stand and the other one I'll call it "he followed me home and i didn't know what to do with him...so I went to sleep" lol I wasn't very good at the casual sex thing then and I certainly haven't gotten any better with age. Truth be told, the only ones that know about it are my roommates and only because they were with me.....I'm not a "tell it in detail gal"....I'm not ashamed of them (or it depending on your view of one nighters) I'm just a believer in "none of the public's business what goes on in my bedroom"

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

what do ladies really want Posted: 7/9/2006 5:27:41 PM
I think it takes a truly talented lady to nipple swing..which I laughed at I have an odd sense of humor at things I can get the image going in my mind as for the hat I like it, and if you like it and it makes you part of who you are keep it I can't speak for all ladies so I'll speak for myself what I look for in either a friend or a boyfriend is the same thing........the ability to be themselves ....Jekyll/Hyde belongs in the novels and if I am not mistaken( and I most likely am, I'm secure enough in my absentmindedness to admit it) he didn't have a lady or if he did I believe he killed her....I read alot so they tend to blend at times. have the shamelessness of being able to laugh at yourself if you trip when walking/mess up a story you are telling and for heaven's sake sharing of embarrassing childhood and adult stories is a major major plus in my book......then I don't feel so weird when I share mine be comfortable in your skin, its permanent oh and the smarts to know not to repeat that I sang badly I might add to the songs on the radio on the way home from a night out of drinking will put a guy right in my good pages of my book its bad enough the taxi driver was sober and will remember.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Best way to spark conversation when messaging on POF Posted: 7/9/2006 5:18:08 PM
One guy emailed me about a sunset picture I had(in another POF id I had) he thought it was closer to where he lived and that sparked a couple of months conversation of just back and forth about day to day life.....I've emailed a guy after a response I read on the forums and we still talk back and forth

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Hey girls here is a seriuos question Posted: 7/9/2006 5:13:23 PM
Make arrangements to sell the house and move out both of you until that happens....worse comes to worse rent the house and split the difference after the mortage is paid. I really don't see a woman being ok with going to her date's house and have a conversation with his recent Ex.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

PDA Whats the Problem?? Posted: 7/9/2006 5:09:56 PM
I don't like PDA's and for the reason someone stated, staking a claim on me....I have one ex boyfriend try to put his arm around me in public or go to kiss me anytime another guy walked by or heaven forbid said hello to me....do I think I am all that and a bag of Doritos.....good lord no! he had a problem and that is why he is referred to as an ex...i asked him to stop and he didn't think I was serious. Hand holding, hand on the small of a back going through a room, kiss on the cheek leaving what have you is one thing...but I don't want to be groped in the middle of the street...

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Why Do You Rule Out Separated Men?! Posted: 7/9/2006 5:04:46 PM
A married man in the process of getting a divorce is just that a married man until that I is dotted. I have told a guy "sorry" when he asked for my number after telling me he is separated from his wife for about 3 months. It's not a baggage deal or anything like that....to me(and I know I am in a minority in my thinking) you are cheating with him on his wife because until that paper is signed it is still a marriage and I wouldn't want it done to me so I would never do it to another woman. If you said it can be over in 6 months and don't want to wait that long for the company of a woman why not do just that....have the company of a woman, go for a casual dinner, take in a movie, go antique shopping/browsing, meet at the boardwalk/beach and go for a stroll....it doesn't have to be dating, maybe you would find some women who are comfortable with that

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

is a 16yr age difference an issue?? Posted: 7/9/2006 4:53:52 PM
I was going to write this speech about why I had this opinion but I think I'll just shorten it to Yes there is an issue.....we aren't talking about an age difference here that could be and often times is a parent/child age difference. whatever works for you both but I know for sure some 36 year old man came to my door with my 19 year old daughter there would be some major issues going on.....but take it with the worth of the head of a pin it counts in the scheme of things in life

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Best way to spark conversation when messaging on POF Posted: 7/9/2006 4:48:22 PM
What Adam said was dead on but I want to go one step further and say don't say anything you wouldn't want some random guy saying to a female relative of yours....wouldn't want your sister to be accosted with "hey sexy, what size are those and can I see for proof" you shouldn't use them on someone else's sister either I always tend to like the funny emails, even ones making fun of our ever changing weather are always right up there with me above all else be yourself and I'm with the spell out the words

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Would u date a single fulltime father..? Posted: 6/18/2006 10:47:03 AM
Yes being a fulltime all the time single mother I would expect a person I was dating to understand my child comes first and will continue to do so so why would I say no to a guy just because of the fact his life mirrors mine.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Fathers Day/Family Day! Posted: 6/18/2006 10:35:18 AM
sorry bout that I read it wrong that should have said lilneenee98 could have written my parenting story

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Fathers Day/Family Day! Posted: 6/18/2006 10:32:49 AM
mybosy you could have written my parent story with you response I have been raising my daughter alone since day one..I didn't badmouth her father then and I wouldnt now either, without him I wouldn't have her, it's his issue to deal with every morning he looked in the morning, not mine....sadly later on she learned he wasn't going to a part of her life and he wanted it that way but we soldiered on as we always did, the two of us. As for father's day we buy something for my father.....we used to go to the movies when she was younger and in her childlike wisdom she thought it was so was great men got to get off work and go to the movies with their kids but "what are the mama's doing all by themselves being bored" lol when she got older and in school it would bother her, but she always said what was made in school was for her Papa cuz she was her father. Paternity is a biological distinction but parenting comes right from the heart not a shared DNA chain.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

She just came out and said it. Posted: 5/30/2006 7:16:42 AM
she sounds like a very open gal...hats off to 'er and not all Canadian women are as free about sex talk as most...but my friends are sure they will change that in me

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Soul Mate Rhetoric Posted: 5/14/2006 7:13:51 AM
**And yes, I'm willing to accept many flaws. That's one of the enjoyable parts of being human. To realize how we are able to overcome those flaws is a wonderful thing. Just certain ones are harder to deal with than others.** That's what I mean, I had a friend who swore up and down this guy was her "soul mate......but" he drank too much/he cheated on her/he was emotionally abusive to her/ blah blah blah ( I stopped listening after the first year, got tired of the record being stuck). She stuck it out for 3 years because she was determined he would change, they would be together forever; it was meant to be. Flaws I was talking about are, they snore......they suck their teeth, they hum off key and you have to keep your laugh in at times, stuff like that........that guy's flaws were the "harder to deal with ones" but she was determined because of this soul mate junk she fed herself. I agree some are deal breakers others are simply just 's/he drives me to distraction when they do ".

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Soul Mate Rhetoric Posted: 5/13/2006 11:43:31 PM
I don't believe in soul mates, that theory is thought up and broadcasted on Hollywood and the television screen, people need to realize.......Tom Cruise's character said "you complete me"...because some guy/gal wrote it for him to say.......Renee really didn't complete him Men and women need to stop racing around with the checklist of what they won't settle for...and realize you aren't suppose to "settle" you are suppose to want the person, flaws and all....we are a package deal you can't cut the pieces off you don't like

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books. Posted: 5/13/2006 11:29:44 PM
I know as a woman I do close the book.....I reopened one a few times that I should have burned but whatever ya live ya learn ya buy Luvs(literally). Why men do it?...not real sure but I had an ex who thought he could call me every name in the book and then "start up back where we left off"......to which I replied "where was that...you calling me a slt or a whoe". I do think that every relationship is suppose to teach ya something and you take it with you when you go on.....so why if something wasn't right the first time around, would someone want to revisit that?

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

A different approach to parenting Posted: 4/21/2006 9:58:41 AM
I think a healthy dose of both ways of parenting is good for both the parent and the child. We all need to know there are boundaries and rules and consequences. I understand when you said she would just take off to a friend's house when things didn't go her way. You said she is at her mom's now and allowed to go and come as she pleases, for the most part.....I would still keep the rules at your own home, perhaps bent a little for the age apprioprate. I had a friend who was allowed to run as she pleased and I was the one with the curfew....she always tells me I was lucky as a teenager because for the simple fact that I knew my parents cared where I was when I walked out the door, who I was with and when I was coming home. Like someone said...she'll appreciate it in the long run.

secret_charmer

Joined: 3/22/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

teenagers and the internet Posted: 4/21/2006 9:54:48 AM
I have a 14 year old daughter and I am a firm believer in privacy until it is proven that the trust level we share has been broken. Have I read her conversations on messenger?...you bet I have....Would I do it again?..if the need arises yes I would....she knows this.. I have told her over and over again I would never just go into her private affairs without a good reason.....that kind of conversations is a good reason. She doesn't believe me when I tell her adults can pose as children/teenagers on the net....til I did it....wasn't all that proud that I had to do it that way..she went to my sister's and I went into the same chat room she was in(which she wasnt allowed to go in) and started talking to her in a private chat.....about 20 minutes into it..she didn't tell me anything personal about herself, I asked vague general questions and got nothing in response, so I said something to the effect of hurry up we are gonna be late for shopping......that was a wake up to her she said I sounded like a 15 year old boy. We see it on the television on a daily basis what can happen to a child when they get mixed up with a perv online.....we watch every talk show about it, do I want to scare her?...no I want her aware that a molester isn't just someone who hides at parks and amusement parks lerking in the shadow...the sad part of the internet is they are allowed into our homes without any knowledge from us.

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