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brokenheartednj

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

short men Posted: 8/1/2006 4:41:54 PM
If you believe Randy Newman like donewaiting, then you'd have to lie, wouldn't you?

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

should I be worried???? Posted: 6/10/2006 3:48:35 PM
That's a big no even if he has a normal name and is all over google and the phone book. I generally don't "exist" in the same manner where I am now, and I've been here over a year. Don't have much of a public profile, no home phone, and my cell isn't listed.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

a couple support quotes i found to help me Posted: 6/8/2006 4:55:20 PM
It can be a semi-cheer-up or somewhat-ironic understanding for me, but: "We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass." - Garrison Keillor

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Oh what to do , what to do...? Posted: 5/25/2006 11:15:11 AM
What does "u are not in a place in your life to be in a serious relationship" entail? I guess it you're still wanting to play the field, then he's really not mr right, he might just feel a little like it...

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Looks. (warning, not optismistic) Posted: 5/15/2006 4:36:38 AM
I really thought that my personality and intelligence would carry me a long way. So yah, it took me till I'm 22 to realize that looks are the only thing that matter. That may very well be true for the women you're going after, but not the entire population. If you add in "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", you'll find that "looks don't matter" holds more water. I'm intelligent, have a lackluster personality until you really get to know me, and I'm not much of a looker. Nearly married a woman, though not perfect supermodel specs, was more beautiful than anyone I've met before, outside and in. Maybe changing who you're going after would help your prospect? Oh, and no woman I know goes for the turned cap, homeboy look or whatever you'd like to call that pic ;)

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Maybe opposites do attract? Posted: 5/14/2006 8:15:42 PM
depends on the people. Opposites can attract, but they generally don't last. EHarmony wouldnt' be making the big bucks if commonality didn't lead to good relationships I'd be pretty sure that it's something more than you two having too much in common that caused the switch. Maybe he's scared? You did all the chatting beforehand, and that night, etc, if being too much alike was a problem for him, I doubt it would have gotten that far...

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

Why don't tall men choose to date tall women? Posted: 5/10/2006 6:29:33 AM
My 6'4" sis found a 6'4" guy and they're very happily married I'd probably be uncomfortable at first around someone my height or taller, but I'd get over it easily. I think I'd end up with back problems if I married someone too much shorter than me. When you're bent over so far to kiss them that you can't still hug and be close, it's kinda annoying too.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 95 (view)

Looking at a womans breasts... Posted: 4/29/2006 6:03:55 PM
I hate it when they've got some tshirt on with a slogan right there, then get mad when you go to read it 'cause they think you're looking at what's underneath :)

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Heart or dreams? Posted: 4/29/2006 1:56:35 PM
I'm in love with my crazy ex :) You've got your heart and your subconscious down, what's your conscious mind say? Do you still love her, would you want her back, do you think she's worthy of coming back to you, would you be able to accept it if she gets mad and leaves again? We're all a little crazy, some more than others, good love can give you a couple more notches on the craziness scale. I'm assuming she's no longer mad and wants to come back, or are you contemplating wooing her back?

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

What's Worse: Having Loved & Lost, or Never Having Been Loved At All? Posted: 4/29/2006 8:29:35 AM
I think it depends on how it ends. Right now, I personally think that ignorance was bliss. We were good together, we still are, just can't be together right now, and maybe never again, so it's agonizing... Maybe with time things will get better and I'll appreciate it more, but single was much more acceptable when I didn't know what it was like to spend all my time with my soulmate... I wouldn't give up our time together and our experiences for anything though.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

Is it true girls dont like guys that are virgins?? Posted: 4/29/2006 7:41:28 AM
I would guess that it really depends what you're looking for. The ladies with all the experience that are looking mainly for sex would probably rather have experience on the guy's end too. If you're looking for that special someone, not just to get laid, it shouldn't be an issue...

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

I feel as I am being punished.. Posted: 4/28/2006 8:54:55 PM
what is it you think you're being punished for? I doubt you are...

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Dating on a budget... Posted: 4/28/2006 4:53:19 PM
If the girl can't deal with the "cheap" dates, she's not worth it :) If you're worried about her thinking you don't like her, you can try explaining the situation to her

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

HELP Posted: 4/28/2006 4:50:28 PM
I depend on that kind of contact to try and get my girl back. I love her completely, and she loves me, but she does her best to lie to herself in order to stay in her current situation, but all the flys away when we talk. I may be being led on, but I really don't see why, she wasn't much of a b****, and she was the one that made the mistake that's keeping us apart... Maybe try a different route to work? Or get dark sunglasses and don't look at anyones faces. If he starts the contact, request that he doesn't as you're trying to get over him.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Why? Posted: 4/28/2006 7:59:54 AM
If you were on again off again, my assumption would have been that given the choice between working at it and leaving, she may as well just go off again... Sucks that she took everything, but as far as trusting them again, give it time, and do as 1littleflick said...

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

sex in parents bed room alright or nasty Posted: 4/28/2006 7:29:08 AM
I've got a friend who bought the house he grew up in from his parents. He's been able to block it from his mind, but you can still freak him out if you bring it up at the wrong moment :)

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Nightmares.... Posted: 4/27/2006 7:37:26 AM
I've been getting a couple nightmares, but more sad good dreams - where they're really nice and happy, but it makes you depressed when you wake up knowing that it's not in the cards...

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

What has your bf/gf given you that was domesticated in its meaning Posted: 4/25/2006 12:28:56 PM
I got in trouble for giving her a learn to knit kit for Christmas, even though she brought up wanting to learn how to knit 4-5 times in the months previous. Couple that with a nice cookbook based around her allergic/dietary needs, and I may as well not have given her anything else... Oh, and due to her jealousy, she interpreted the DVD set from her favorite show, Desperate Housewives, to be offensive and actually meant for myself wanting to look at all the ladies on there. She hates hearts and stuffed animals, and when I try to peek when she's with her friends pointing things out in a catalog, she hides it. Friggin crazy woman, why do I love her so lol.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

i think i might have been wrong...i wanna die again Posted: 4/25/2006 11:04:44 AM
It would seem like some therapy would be good for that too, and for you in general, but dunno. Also realize that if he's a true ***hole, being that he knows about your paranoia, etc, he could use it against you in such a situation. On the other hand, you're putting your trust on something his friend heard from a fourth party... Back on the first hand, I glanced back at your previous threads, and you painted a much different picture... Tread lightly. And seriously, counseling isn't just for depression or utter whackjobs, it can help, it sounds like you need it.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Weird Posted: 4/25/2006 11:02:04 AM
I'm guessing the mods deleted the topic? possibly redundant? There are a couple threads I just can't post in. I hit the reply, click post, it reloads the page but my post isn't there.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

i think i might have been wrong...i wanna die again Posted: 4/25/2006 10:21:20 AM
I'm assuming that if they're giving you meds that you're in therapy as well? I'd work on getting yourself straightened out before you screw yourself up even more by going back to him. There are women who will lie about such things; usually the guy did something to them, or a friend, or is the object of their desire for them to start such rumors though.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

How Young is too young? Posted: 4/25/2006 7:25:53 AM
I was happier than I could have imagined with someone 11yrs older. Her previous range was 1 year younger to 4 years older, surprised the heck out of her how good we were together. It's all a maturity thing I think, if you give a 24 yr old +5 yrs and a 34 yr old -5 years, there's really not much difference.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Anyone known he/she was the one early on? Posted: 4/25/2006 7:22:04 AM
yeah, nearly day one. How'd it go? Well, she got scared and married an ***hole ex rather than someone as young as me; she's halfway looking to get out, so it may end up turning around.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 79 (view)

3 months Married and now getting a divorce Posted: 4/25/2006 5:42:43 AM
what i cant understand is how he can expect to go BACK in time when life the way it was wont be the same now that it was different...and good...because anyone who knows us says they've never seen him happier than he was with me. Same with my girl. She's sure trying, but even though "he" appears to have "changed", I don't believe it's an act that will stick. if noone's suggested it yet in here, you could try jarbarian's second chances post.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 115 (view)

What have you learned from having your heart broken? Posted: 4/24/2006 1:58:22 PM
that "'tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all" can feel like total BS at times. I wouldn't give up the experiences for anything, but I have to say ignorance is bliss - I was happier being single when I didn't know what I was missing.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Met someone here and it went bad! Posted: 4/24/2006 10:37:01 AM
If it's not a 24/7 kind of ailment, people can often hide it well by only making contact at the good times. My ex is good at that; some of her friends don't really know that much is wrong with her. Yes they may know the "label" of the disease, but she doesn't go out on the bad days, so it's not like you'd see it unless they allow you to see them on a day to day basis regardless, and even then you can time things to fake it.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

3 months Married and now getting a divorce Posted: 4/24/2006 10:15:23 AM
if you are pregnant, he MUST accept the responsibility if he is the sperm donor. He SHOULD accept the responsibility, there's little that anyone MUST do. You can make life hard on someone who doesn't want to deal, but in the end there are plenty of people who get around it, and marriage isn't anything that must happen in such circumstances. OP, you guys were together for 8+ months, married for 3; 2 weeks isn't enough. Maybe 2 weeks is enough to get through the brunt of the shock of it all, but it's unlikely for the average person to hit their comfort zone again in anywhere near that time; you obviously havent :) It's all a balancing act IMHO on what's best to do when in wierd situations like this. Contact could bring him around, but he might just end up cracking again later on; contact too soon could push him away completely, etc. I'd give up on initiating for at least a couple more weeks; yes you're married, yes it hurts, but it's not the time to screw things up. You know him better than anyone on here, so filter everything you get through yourself; everyone's different and while something may have worked perfect for one couple it could be disasterous for another.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

3 months Married and now getting a divorce Posted: 4/22/2006 5:23:47 PM
My gf and I were on our way to getting married, but she got spooked and married her ex. Today was their 1 month anniversary. Thursday night she was all set to have me hire last minute movers and get her the hell out of there Friday morning. Over the previous weeks she's been back and forth, remembering how good it was with me, but trying hard to keep her word and make things work with him. So, in my eyes two weeks is nothing. I don't know him but it sounds like he's figured out what he's done and is spooked. You've been hot and heavy for 8 months, this may be the first time he's had a clear thought in that time. Sucks that he couldn't have had it 3 months ago. I don't know what to tell you other than try and give him time. You can try to keep a line of communication available, but harrasing him won't do you any good.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 659 (view)

Why are you single? Posted: 4/22/2006 10:59:46 AM
Because it's too hard for me to be an ***hole and directly break up my soulmate's marriage.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Don't know what to do:( Posted: 4/22/2006 10:52:05 AM
I think something's wrong with the water up in Canada :) I thought it was just the guys but now parents putting down their own kids... I guess it happens down here too, but I mean really, the number of cute ladies up there who get their self esteem issues validated is amazing...

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 190 (view)

How many 5' women are scared of a 6' over 200lb man? Posted: 4/22/2006 10:42:20 AM
My 6'2" uncle married someone ~5', they're very happy, a friend of the family is 6'7", heavy, and married someone around 5'2", very happy. I wouldn't knock it, but there'd probably have to be a large attraction there to keep it up. When you have to bend over so far to kiss someone that you have trouble still being able to reach out and hug eachother it can get akward after a while.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Women who talk about their biological clock on the 1st date... Posted: 4/22/2006 10:15:10 AM
More power to her. It might be a bit forward, but if that's really what you want, why waste time with someone who has no desire to be a part of that. Up to the guy to decide if he want's to keep at it or not.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Why do I keep geting my heart BROKEN???? Posted: 4/22/2006 10:08:22 AM
ouch, wish I had any idea how to help you with your family issues. They're probably compounding the issues with your love life...

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

over 30 and still living at home Posted: 4/22/2006 10:01:09 AM
my ex gf, 35, just married her ex bf, 38, not exactly living at home, but his mom lives upstairs. And she told me I was crazy for wanting to rent for a bit before buying a house... I guess owning it but having to rent out half to your mother/mother-in-law beats waiting a couple years and having your own place to yourselves. They only share the laundry room and utilities, but still lol.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Why do I keep geting my heart BROKEN???? Posted: 4/22/2006 9:33:42 AM
You need to communicate with your parents that it is not ok to give your number out. I guess it may be hard since they're still doing it after he cheated on you with their other daughter, but get serious with them about it. If they can't respect your wishes and help you get on with your life by not talking to him and getting over him, maybe you'll have to make a schedule to check in with them. See how that is for them. Get a calling card so that they don't have the caller id...

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

If there was one thing she could say to me Posted: 4/22/2006 7:15:50 AM
First thing to do - punctuation. Use complete sentences and not run-ons. I hope you're not writing like that in your letter(s) to her :) Are there kids involved? If she's been married to the guy for a long time you can't expect anything to happen over night. Getting out of a marriage is really hard, really scary and really painful. You're her friend, so if you want to keep that up you have to be there for her, whether it's to help her out of it, or help her/them get into counseling to make things work. If you can't handle doing the second part, then the "friend" side of things is waning for you, which is understandable, but means that you might be thinking and doing things that don't have her best interest at heart. I'm fully with you on the up and downs of it. I got a sobbing call for an escape plan Thursday evening. He went back to being his old self, and it took throwing things, him getting physical pinning her down, and her again attempting to walk out the door for him to agree to work on meeting her most basic need that day. Got a call to stand down but be ready an hour or so later. Got a call the next day that things had cooled down a bit. I know I'm being used as a pawn in their games right now, but I still hope that in the end I'll reach the other side of the board and get promoted :) I've been told by many to take myself out of the equation when I talk to her if I want to be her friend. Now there's too sides to that, you can think that either she doesn't have the equivalent of me out there, or she does but I have no loyalty to him. I choose to think at the second option most of the time since it's closer to the truth in our situation. It's soooo easy for me to just say "come with me and we'll make everything work", because I know how we were together, I know how we solved problem, and 99% of the problems they have we don't/didn't. Your situation is markably different as you haven't been together, you don't have that history to fall back to; I wouldn't trust her fate to what you've got as far as what you've said here, so I'd fall to it just being her and him... Regardless, but especially since there's no being certain that you two would live happily ever after, she has to decide to end things on her own, for her sake, with no weight given to the greener pastures, ie you. If she ends it for you, and things don't work, you'll have broken up her marriage that she may have been able to make work.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 143 (view)

Can you sleep when you are cuddling? Posted: 4/21/2006 6:39:57 PM
We'd take naps together like that. If she'd wake up and my arm had moved or I'd rolled to my back I'd get yanked back into place :) It sucks sleeping without cuddling, body pillows just don't do it justice.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

What's worse? Posted: 4/21/2006 2:13:17 PM
Well, not having experienced, I would think on average being cheated on would be worse. If you were cheating on someone you probably don't care enough about them in the first place to where getting caught would hurt you...

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Probably more out there like me... single all their life... Posted: 4/21/2006 11:37:49 AM
"all their life" when you're 20 isn't that bad :) If the bars aren't your scene, find some other hobby/interest and hope some girls like it too. Just gotta meet the right people in the right situation. Your female friends think you're a nice guy, have a lot of good qualities, and are generally objective, so they can ask you for some advice and reep some good from it. Yes, being "nice" sucks. I've been "nice", "cute", "great", yada, yada, yada to a lot of people, getting past that to someone they'd want to spend their time with is another beast entirely :)

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

If there was one thing she could say to me Posted: 4/20/2006 1:05:36 PM
Heh, I'm in a situation where my gf got scared into marrying her ex while still in love with me and me wanting to marry her. It's sad that it's like that, but I do get a kick out of it when I hear that she calls him my name and how furious he gets. We were roomies before we even started "dating", and I still live there until it sells. They'll get into it if she even mentions the word "roomate". I don't wish their marriage on anyone, but I won't deny that he's getting what he deserves for such a selfish di move. Really, if he messed up my car, got into a fight with me, etc, it would only push her back to me, so I halfway welcome it. I've got so much dirt on him as far as their relationship versus ours that it's not even funny; if I wanted to be a di back and thought it wouldn't totally ruin my chances at getting her back, it would be sooo hilarious to see what he would do. Read jarbarians post about second chances, even though it's not quite that situation. You can hope for a while that she'll come around, but realize that it's probably not meant to be right now.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

She wanted to be engaged and had a timeline Posted: 4/20/2006 12:23:47 PM
So do I let her go or let her know that I want the same thing as her? If you truly do still want to marry her, no matter what, then you should let her know and explain yourself. I'd be weary about her sudden flight, she may well do it again in the thick of it while you're married. Regardless of what I told mine I guess she didn't get it. When I stopped her from getting married the first two times she responded with a "I didn't think that was still a possibility" even though I made it very clear that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and marry her. We had a small fight on a Sunday, she was about to run out and "keep her options open" since I hadn't popped the question yet. I got angry and tossed the ring on the bed, told her I bought it for her, I want to marry her, but do what you have to do. She gave it back to me, we made up, she told me that evening that it wasn't a 'no' just that she didn't want it done in anger. She was annoyed the next nights at one thing or another, so I decided that if there was a good night I'd give it to her the next day, or do it Saturday. Well Saturday she had plans with her friends, said she'd be home early evening, so I made up a nice dinner and all, I guess the ex got to her while she was out and popped the question and she accepted, ended up seeing a movie not feeling comfortable seeing me after what she did. I guess the third time's the charm, she got the letter she had been anticipating about losing insurance, I think he did something to her phone 'cause she couldn't call me, and he scared her into marrying him and they were down tieing the knot at the same time I was looking at counselors for us and planning out budgets from the discussion we'd had the day before. Gotta love fickle women. I'm still holding some hope that she'll realize that while she'll survive with him, the hurt of breaking it off won't hold a candle to how happy we would be for eternity. [end rant] What was your "finally working towards a wedding" when you weren't even engaged yet?

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

what's wrong with me, why can't I be loved? Posted: 4/19/2006 6:20:31 PM
There are some people out there like you're looking for. I've been told I have to work on the romantic and wooing part, but I want to learn and try to do my best :) What jesiebunnies said it true. They say a definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result :) Having been in the most wonderful relationship with a woman who thought I was too nice for her and not her type, so much so that she had all but written off my generation and wouldn't have even thought to "date" me if it wasn't for our situation, I've learned that what you think your "type" is may be nothing close to what you actually want, need, and will make you eternally happy. I'd have to agree with alone2soon as well. Not saying that there aren't any good non-religious people out there, or that there aren't any really bad people out there who think they're religious, but I've found that someone who truly is "Christian" in general has a better chance of meeting your fairy tale criteria.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Advice for breaking up a long term relationship? Posted: 4/19/2006 5:47:11 PM
AREALEANGEL- THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING! I can't believe that you are 48 years old? Where on earth did you learn that this is an appropriate way to treat someone? Let alone someone that you care about? I'd guess from years of being dumped on like that. How old is she? Maybe her parents need to give her a swift kick to get her act together? No job, no license, and somewhat sedentary, doesn't sound like a positive outlook to me. It's not wrong for wanting someone who's more like you, shares more interests, whether it be chess or running. I'm generally not interested in getting out and excersizing, I would enjoy it when I'd go to the gym or whatnot with my gf, but I never really got enough "results" to cause me to do it on my own, it just wasn't fun for me. But, you're asking for advice on how to break it up, not stay together or get her to exercise more, or for reasons for the way she is. You're both her first boyfriend and her first love, you've gotta be gentle if you still care for her. I guess waiting till after would be a good idea if you think it would stress her out or cause her troubles. I wouldn't go all out for her birthday though. Don't overcompensate for the future breakup, it will just be an even starker difference and cause more pain - it was done to me. I'd have a nice long conversation about what you're thinking and your reasoning, give her time to respond. Don't lie to her; if she finds out it will make it worse. My train of thought has derailed, sorry if none of that made sense.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

She wanted to be engaged and had a timeline Posted: 4/19/2006 10:37:36 AM
Consider yourself lucky, mine got scared and ran off and married her ex. If you do truly want to spend the rest of your life with her, go for it, fight for her; otherwise if you're still wishy washy after 4 years it's probably best to let her go. There is the possibility that she just wants a nice shiny ring to show off, but I don't see how after a year or so, especially if you were living together, how you wouldn't be sure of it or not.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

When a man is angry Posted: 4/16/2006 6:14:51 PM
I've been told I get angry like a chihuahua, rather than be outwardly agressive, I retreat or get quiet/moody/etc. Helped her keep herself in check rather than have things explode out of control. Not necessarily a good way to deal, but it's how I grew up.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

what is so wrong with being alone? Posted: 4/16/2006 6:07:33 PM
I don't see anything strictly wrong with being alone, I just found being together much much better, so by contrast it's not so good

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Define Third Wheel Posted: 4/16/2006 5:55:55 PM
generally a single person hanging out with a couple

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Ex's Birthday Posted: 4/16/2006 2:29:17 PM
Never really interested in "having fun". I guess it was my upbringing. I found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, going back just feels unacceptable to me. She had to go and say something that validated my fears of cutting off contact, so it's really hard for me. I get the thing about allowing myself to be second best, which is why I try fighting for #1 in my own way. I guess it depends on the woman, it's feeling like damned if I do, damned if I don't, so do what makes me feel better for now.

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

Kissing The Ears Posted: 4/16/2006 2:20:21 PM
Licking, slobbering, etc is a no no, but nice light kissing, nibbling on the lobe is nice, as is nuzzling with the nose, warm breath. Of course our faces being so close regardless is always nice for me :)

BrokenHeartedNJ

Joined: 3/25/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

Are lookers (guys or chicks who are checking out others, while in a relationship), more or less li Posted: 4/16/2006 1:43:42 PM
I'd get in trouble for it even though I wasn't even doing any evaluation beauty-wise. I've got the always looking over my shoulder type of personality or whatever. I subconsiously try to get the lay of the room, and notice when people are moving around me. I think it's just being cautious, know if someone is trying to get my attention or is about to slam their car into me or trip and spill something on me. When I wasn't in a relationship I would sometimes actually have a thought about someone I saw in that type of glance, but when we were together the guys and the gals would get the same "attention" if you could call it that. That, and when I'm tired or bored and have a blank stare out into space, my brain will end up following things it sees moving, I'd get jolted and berated for checking someone out and not even realize that I had been, someone walked in front of the car and I guess I watched them, I couldn't have even told you one thing about what they looked like other than I assumed it was a woman since she got mad. I guess when it's sort of a tick, I see something coming at me out of the corner of my eye and jerk my head to look at it then come back, it looks like I'm checking them out rather than paying full attention. I guess it's hard for me to drone in completely all the time when it's really busy around me. Sometimes thought of actually looking so that I'd deserve the reaction, but I know that if they didn't really care for me they wouldn't get that jealous about it, so it was a bit comforting, and there was no need or desire to look at all.

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