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 Author Thread: The Cancer that keeps on giving
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
The Cancer that keeps on giving
Posted: 3/9/2010 7:50:44 AM

Well, given that most people would probably avoid a person with Cancer as soon as they saw it in the profile, I think if I were the one with Cancer I'd prefer to try and get to that third or fourth date knowing there's a risk the person would dump me.


First, it's a basic right to avoid someone with ANY condition they dislike, being a health concern or the wrong color of hair. Trying to hide or change something about yourself does not mean it is not still a factor.

What is being overlooked more & more on this & possibly all other dating sites is that you can not force anyone to have a healthy, happy relationship with you. An illness can be hidden just as grey hair can be hidden with dye, but that doesn't mean it's not there & won't be revealed later.

That doesn't mean it needs to be on the op's profile, granted, but you could also look at it this way. If it's on the profile & that person is ignored because of it, would waiting have made things any different? Obviously no one has been willing to stick around so far. Why not weed out those people to begin with? Or are we ALL so desperate to get a date with anyone that we're willing to sacrifice ourselves to the fallacy of Happily Ever After No Matter What?

How about a support group? meetup.com? Foundations & fundraisers? There are less deceitful ways to meet people that know of his condition & will still be willing to get to know the person with it. Waiting until there's an emotional connection & hoping they are attached or desperate enough to stay with you anyway is a self-serving deception.

The only reason I can see people agreeing it's ok is that they don't want to be seen as cruel or cold themselves when they would secretly run like a rabbit from a wolf, no matter what they say here. But no one's ever accused me of being politically correct. LOL
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Do you respond to people who obviously didn't read your profile?
Posted: 3/8/2010 7:08:26 AM
I will reply to the first message someone sends me 100% of the time because it would be rude not to. If the 2nd or 3rd message does not improve, I simply delete. The obligation of manners only carries so far.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
The Cancer that keeps on giving
Posted: 3/8/2010 6:54:51 AM
I'm afraid I'm with musing on this one, ANY incurable ailment is a big issue & often a big life alteration. Granted it's personal but at the same time, it's an important factor that any potential mates should be allowed to take into consideration. Cancer does not just affect you, it affects everyone connected to you. To hide this information until there is a connection between you, however slight, is deceitful & in a way, rather cruel. There are ways of finding a partner without such deceit & omission.

No one can force you to be more forthcoming, of course, but keep going as you are & you'll likely keep getting friend zoned & rejected. They say insanity is repeating the same action & expecting different results.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
So tired
Posted: 3/6/2010 11:45:40 AM
Guy42, has it become your personal mission in life to spread your own brand of cheer & good will to every post on this forum? Almost every post I read (almost all of which I leave commentless) I seem to find one of your posts just dripping with pessimism. And don't bother with the "I'm just a realist." line, there's a difference between realistic & pessimistic.

Anyway, to add my own unneeded advice, online & off, dating is essentially a game of kissing frogs. Regardless of where you meet people, be it on a dating website or at work or a grocery store, there will be a never-ending stream of frogs promising to be princes. Most of them are just lonely frogs.

However, don't take it personally. I promise it's not just you that this sort of thing happens to. (this entire forum should be evidence of that). And a bit of advice you may or may not find helpful, do you NEED someone else or do you WANT someone? If you have a fear of being alone or are desperate for companionship, this is about the same as holding up a flashing neon sign that says "Easy prey! Come use me!" If, however, you are complete in & of yourself but just desire the company & fulfillment of a mate, you will be more selective & harder to take advantage of. Which is likely why most of your disappearing prospects disappear. They find you are not the easy prey they're looking for & you have saved yourself a lot more trouble than if you'd been holding up that neon sign.

But, either way, don't get discouraged. Your perfect mate may not be in this particular pond or he just hasn't found you yet. Take heart, & keep fishing. (but make sure to wear protective lipgloss LOL)
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Is testing someone's commitment wrong?
Posted: 3/6/2010 11:19:01 AM
Since all of my other thoughts have already been said & I'm not much into parroting, I want to say simply that the words "emotional abuse" are being overused here. Just because her SO told her two times, as far as I can gather from this story he has only said anything nasty about her looks twice, is NOT emotional abuse. It's RUDE but it's not abuse. And he calls her to mention the women he passed up sleeping with for her sake is also RUDE, but again not ABUSE! To apply it to such a weak standard is really a disgusting misuse of the word & bordering offensive.

Emotional abuse is constant put downs, jokes, insults, & other non-physical actions to make the other person feel bad about themselves. Emotional abuse is cheating & saying something along the lines of "I HAVE to sleep around because you're too disgusting/inadequate/ugly/annoying/worthless/or any other along those lines."

It is NOT getting drunk & saying "Damn hun, but you're fat/ugly/etc." From what I've read, the op is not being abused. Although she is on the path to becoming an abuser. Don't be so quick to throw the man under the bus just because of his gender & the fact that he acted rudely (NOT abusively) a few times in what is otherwise described as an ok relationship.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Furry People..the ones wearing animal costumes
Posted: 2/24/2010 11:42:36 AM
First things first. Furries & fursuit wearers are NOT cultists. They may be IN various usually unrelated cults, but furriness is more cliquish than cultish. Just because it's not something YOU are into, does not mean you need to be insulting & mocking. That irks the hell out of me.

Furries are anthromorphic animals. People who CALL themselves furries, with or without the suit, are people who feel more connected to animals than people & OFTEN feel that they ARE animals born in human bodies, similar to someone feeling they were born the wrong gender. They may incorporate animal tendencies into thier daily behavior but not always. Majority of them tend to keep their habits & interests a secret for fear of just this sort of mocking misunderstanding.

Leatherdogs or BDSM puppy play are VERY different from furries. First of all, a leather dogs, & if you really want to get into it, ponygirls, are more a fetish than feeling like an actual horse or dog & usually, though not always, are only considered a sexual interest.

While not a costume wearer I can see the reason for those that do. It helps them to get more in touch with the animal(s) they feel connected to & while there is such a thing as yiffing in a fursuit (yiff piles, snuggle piles, etc) it's uncommon that any ACTUAL sex takes place IN or ON the fursuit.

Keep in mind that there are more furries than most people realise. Most of them don't make a spectacle of themselves, they do not (in most cases) practice or even believe in beastiality, and they look & act relatively normal around most people.

Furries are everywhere. Those that wear the fursuits simply have the strength of their convictions, so to speak.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Any serious men here?
Posted: 2/24/2010 9:04:42 AM
Geez Guy42, you come across a little bitter. Are you always one to look on the bright side or are you talking from personal experience?

That said, dating sites tend to be for the desperate, disinterested, or the horndogs. Now & then you get someone who's serious & actually thinks they have a good chance of meeting the perfect mate, but it doesn't last long until they become as disillusioned & annoyed as everyone else.

But you might get lucky (no pun intended). Just don't rush into anything. If they aren't willing to wait a bit, then they aren't worth getting upset over. Have a good time for a while & if nothing comes of it, shrug & move on. People are so easily discouraged. What's the old saying, nothing worth doing is easy?

Just my two pence.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
I can get over the Girl but I Miss My Dog!
Posted: 2/24/2010 8:48:02 AM
OMG SO ADORABLE!! I especially love her baby picture. What's her name? And I agree, you need to move to a more dog-friendly place so she can at least visit. LOL
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
is waiting till marriage for sex dead?
Posted: 2/23/2010 8:22:02 PM
That's actually more a catholic than christian thing. While I understand the question, the two subjects are really irrelevant. You can be a christian & not a virgin at the same time.

While it is considered the "right thing" there is ACTUALLY no rule in general Christianity about being a virgin before being married. I'm leaving out Catholicism & Jehovah's witnesses of course. The policy came from OLD laws before women had rights & could be killed for sleeping, before OR after marriage.

Then again, I say all this as a NON christian.

Edit to add:

All religions encourage virginity prior to marriage.

No they don't.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
I can get over the Girl but I Miss My Dog!
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:42:23 PM
Sounds like a country song joke.

But I know how you feel. My dogs are my babies. Sadly, it's hard to get your "parental rights" since dogs are still seen as personal property. The best way to help yourself feel a LITTLE better is just remember that sometimes parents & their children must go their separate paths. You do what you can while you have them with you.

Like the guy with the rottie (I love rotties) I have had ex's that said "It's me or the dog." I'll let you take a guess who stayed.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 183 (view)
 
Deodorant, perfume and cologne: Do we really need 'em?
Posted: 2/23/2010 4:36:05 PM
I sweat like a man. Runs in my family. So if I plan to go out in public I HAVE to use b.o.e. (deodorant) but I have an odd tendency of smelling people. I don't mean I walk up & start sniffing like a bloodhound, I mean that when I am within a few feet of people I can smell their scent. I typically don't trust people I can't smell. At times it freaks me out if they have no scent at all. I have always assumed this was typical until told recently it's not.

The body's natural scents do not often offend me, in fact I love to smell freshly scrubbed skin. perfume/cologne on the other hand, often irritate my nose. If you bathe in the stuff, I will avoid you like black plague. But overall, even the smell of sweat doesn't often bother me. That doesn't mean I stick my nose in someone's armpit & inhale though LOL
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Does she like me?
Posted: 1/21/2010 12:49:22 AM
I agree, it sounds like the mutual friend is trying to make things easier & give you every opportunity & it doesn't sound like you've taken a one of them yet. Go ahead & ask her out. What's the worst that happens? She says no, awkward 5 minutes, you laugh it off.

Now what's the best that could happen? I'll let you answer that one.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 406 (view)
 
Fitness and attraction
Posted: 1/19/2010 10:44:47 AM

Damn ... 20 lbs. is NOTHING compared to the mammoths I get messages from ... That's being a little on the shallow side in my opinion.

Good thing you're not shallow at all.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 68 (view)
 
sticking to your own 'kind'
Posted: 11/29/2009 3:10:45 PM
I really should drop this & leave things alone, these types of subjects tend to excite people & make them snap at anything like a mad dog, but...


So I call bull shit.

Just say you don’t like when you see white women with black men.
Or black men with white women.
Or any other type of racial mixed.
And that’s it. If you are really that dam concerned about children, then join CASA. Or any agency that actually works to the welfare of children. But you won’t… because you know your concern about mixed children is utter BS.


Thems fightin words. LOL

I am easily irritated by this kind of ignorance & stupidity. Not to say that YOU are ignorant &/or stupid, I do not know any of you personally & so would not make such judgements, but comment itself is like putting words in my mouth & I do so hate that.

So, now then. Since you wish to assume you understand myself & my motives & have proved yourself to be so laughably wrong, let me set the record straight. I am a german/jewish/irish/italian/french/canadian/african/native american. I was born dark. Black hair, dark skin, they didn't quite know what to make of me. I grew up looking like a native american indian. Now I have gotten lighter & mostly look like any other floridian. My last boyfriend/SO was a mexican, born & raised. Oh, but maybe I shouldn't mention that part since I'm against mixed couples. Meh, whatever. Maybe he doesn't count.
One of my cousins is VERY pale, blond hair, blue eyes, typical beauty queen type. She had 3 children by a black man. He was very nice, we all liked him, saddly they broke up. Their mixed kids were teased terribly until they reached high school. Some people called them oreos. Some people called them mutts. Some of the names I don't dare even mention. And they don't live in a segregated area. They don't live in "the deep south" either, but they have spent most of their lives being teased about their mixed heritage. I have a friend who had a hispanic mother & a mixed-race father (black/white) He used to endure some nasty name calling, so did his dad before him.
So before you go imposing YOUR perspective on me, PLEASE take a moment & consider that maybe I'm telling the truth? Perhaps, strange as this may seem, I might have actually had some EXPERIENCE with this issue rather than just saying "Well I think you're full of it because I've never had that problem!" Such a narrow narrow view! Just because YOU haven't had that problem it must not exist? There's more to life than what you can see out of your little window.
I will readily admit that it's not a problem EVERYWHERE just as I'll admit that famine is not a problem everywhere. But just because I have food in MY grocery store, & in MY cabinets, doesn't mean there's no one starving elsewhere. Just because I have a home & I don't see any homeless people lining my streets & parks doesn't mean they aren't somewhere else.
But what do I know, apparently I'm blatantly racist because I see the consequences of people's actions & ask them to think beyond their narrow little worlds. How dare I! Shame on me for caring if kids get picked on, attacked, ignored & dare I say get prejudiced against because they're PARENTS were a mixed couple! Wow, how awful am I!
If this were a game of BS, you'd be stuck picking up all the cards on the table. But since it's a forum post, I'll probably have even MORE mad dogs snapping at me over my comments after they scan a few words & skim through everything. For all this talk over wanting a more tolerant world, we sure are fast to attack those who are still different from us. As they say, looks aren't everything.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 62 (view)
 
sticking to your own 'kind'
Posted: 11/25/2009 1:35:00 PM
Us? Passive aggressive? And just how did you come to that conclusion?
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 58 (view)
 
sticking to your own 'kind'
Posted: 11/25/2009 12:08:04 PM
I admit I haven't read all posts here. I got bored after the "biblical racist".

I am of the agreement that the internet did absolutely nothing for or against interracial dating. Not a damn thing.

Personally, I think interracial marriages are a bad idea SOLELY for the sake of any offspring. With luck, this will change some time in the future, but right no, especially in the US, we like to "label" things, as if we'd all forget who & what we were if we weren't properly named & labeled like a can of peaches. So for the children of, say, a black & white couple, they do not yet have a proper label. Sure we can call them things like "mutts" "mixed" "best of both worlds" whatever, but none of these terms are, to my knowledge, considered politically correct. I have heard horror stories among my own family & close friends about growing up as a mixed child. A lot of adults especially of older generations, look down upon children of mixed heritage. They pass this on to thier own children, who have a tendency to pick on the "half breeds". If people feel like mixing, I am in no way against that. Have international orgies for all that it affects me. But until we get around to getting rid of the label maker, such interracial couples should think very long & hard before bearing any offspring. Society is not as tolerant as the pretty picture we all like to paint.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
web cam - oops
Posted: 11/24/2009 5:29:41 PM
Someone's been watching too much American Pie
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 234 (view)
 
why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 11/24/2009 4:24:40 PM

But OP: let me use reverse psychology on you: will YOU date an honest, hard working, decent 5' 0 , 300 lbs man ? (be honest...lot's of guys are watching)


I have dated that man. He was 5'2, 328 lbs. Know why I dumped him? It had nothing to do with his weight or looks. He was a jerk. You don't have to be skinny to act like an ***hole.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 11/24/2009 1:29:57 PM
I personally do not plan to get married. My beliefs do not acknowledge marriage. Not AGAINST it, simply do not acknowledge it. However...


In the end we are animals...we were NEVER meant to mate for life..

Some animals do mate for life. Granted, almost all of them have shorter lives than we do, but not ALL animals pick a new partner every season.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 70 (view)
 
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 7:46:33 AM
I used to have trouble with the letting go, moving on bit. Saddly, there is no easy answer. No magic pill or silver bullet. Some people simply distract themselves by keeping busy or dating a multitude of other people, some focus on the negativity, some simply wait it out until things fade. Most people can not simply sever the emotional connection without cutting out all of thier emotions but that's not healthy either.

But since you asked how we handle it individually, I personally, do not dwell. I don't have the time or energy to be depressed, so I look back occasionally & focus on the good things, but since all things must come to an end, rather than be sad it's over I am glad I had those moments of happiness. I TRY not to feel bitter, even if the breakup was a nasty one, because that helps no one & hurts me. That is how I get over someone. It took me a long time & a lot of experiences to get to that point.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Is being yourself really good advice?
Posted: 11/17/2009 3:30:24 PM
My honest opinion is, it depends on your motives. If you're just looking for "tail" then yeah, you might have better luck acting, but if you want a relationship with someone, you should always act like yourself, because if they don't like the way you are now, imagine pretending to be someone else & then suddenly springing your real personality on them. Yeah, not a pretty picture.

But then again, I'm one of those "What you see is what you get." types.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Has your Adult ADD ruined/sabotaged relationships?
Posted: 11/17/2009 9:31:40 AM
I have ADD, though I don't think I have hyperactivity but who knows. I have nearly no memory, I buny-hop subjects when talking, I'm easily distracted, & I have a multitude of fun & confusing habits that throw people off course. I don't trust medications. I was on several different kinds as a kid & all they did was make me sick & make my problems worse.

I warn everyone I have it, so no one is theoretically caught by complete surprise, but in all honesty, no one can handle me for long term. I like to think that somewhere is a person who's willing to accept my random nature. Some people have even found it fun for a while. But most people want to fall into ruts & patterns & there's not much I hate more than a rut. So I think, in that way alone, it has contributed to a few of my ex's, but I don't think it has ever been the sole factor in any of my breakups. Thankfully, my add also keeps me amused, so I'm never bored & almost never boring to be around.

Unfortunatly it DOES lead to the fun conflict of needing constant change yet constant stability in all things. And since that sounds confusing even to me, I'll use one of my first jobs as an example. I was once a cashier at K-mart. It was one of my all time favorite jobs, & I was good at it. I had the stability I needed (knowing what was expected of me & always performing the same tasks) while getting the change I needed. (always meeting new people, seeing different merchandise, getting to read the sales ads before the customers did). I am probably one of the only people who can say that being a simple, minimum wage cashier was a fun & rewarding job.

I don't see my add as an afliction, I see it as a part of who I am & an asset, albeit a bit of an inconvenient one at times. I don't think, at this point, I would want to be "normal", even if someone said "I can zap you with this ray & ALL your conditions will be gone with no lingering side effects." But then again, no one's ever said that to me. LOL
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Are we all here for the same reasons ???
Posted: 11/8/2009 3:07:32 PM
I came to pof because a close friend advised me to try it. And since I'm losing no money by being here, it doesn't bother me to do so. I like to think there's a possibility I may actually come across someone worth meeting, but if it doesn't happen, it's no huge problem.

I don't post pictures for my own reasons, none of which has to do with not liking the way I like (personally I think I'm pretty) nor do I need my ego boosted, although it would be nice. But I have a dog already who worships me, so that's enough. LOL

I do agree with this statement however:

Everyone would loved to be loved by the right person & for the right reasons but this site seems to be all about the visual side. Who looks good, fit, hot whatever.


And I'm really sick of hearing about how humans are visual animals & blah blah blah. We've stepped out of the jungle but we jump back into it looking for excuses for our behavior. Oh well. I'm not looking for a hairless monkey. Enough of those in my neighborhood. I like to think I don't have too many issues that would scare anyone away but I'd be lying if I said I was perfect.

It takes a very special kind of person to deal with me long term, & with luck, I may find that person here, I may find them elsewhere. But if nothing else, the forums are a good source of amusement.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
23 year old woman without children, and I'm weird?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:43:47 AM
If that's weird than I must be getting pretty far up the strange ladder, I'm 28 & have no children, never plan to have children, never WANT to have children. I really don't even like kids. How weird am I?

The comment is LIKELY because most women can't wait to have children & dream of the big, happy family. Single women with children is actually almost the norm these days, so of course they would find you unusual in your breaking the stereotype, but that's still pretty rude to comment with "Hm, that's weird."
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Did you settle?
Posted: 10/18/2009 10:08:49 AM

It's an interesting phenomenon and seems to have something (a lot maybe?) to do with age. He doesn't seem to have any interest in me as an individual or my life and interests, only how well I might fit into his life, and he has no intention or desire to adapt himself in any way to me. I always give someone who appears, initially, to be interesting & potentially compatible a chance, but it does sometimes go this way, and I am left wondering why he contacted me in the first place.


The term "arm candy" comes to mind. Like someone else said, THEY already have thier lives figured out. They just need to find the, pardon the expression, barbie doll to live in thier little dream house. He/she should have no opinions save what they are assigned. They should have no interests outside of those of thier partner. And they should be good looking enough that they can be shown off at parties & to friends.

THAT is definetly settling.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
non traditional ways of masturbating
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:40:42 AM
The vacuum is old news & an old joke.

The most unusual way I personally have heasd about was a news story about a guy so in love with his car that he was using the tailpipe for an enterence.

Otherwise, I once had an ex that liked to masterbate with a rabbit fur pelt. He just wrapped the pelt around & went to it.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Did you settle?
Posted: 10/16/2009 7:55:04 AM
I actually settled several times, back in what I refer to as my "stupid years".

I won't bore anyone with intimate details, but I was young, inexperienced, & highly insecure to the point where if I was with someone I should hold onto them no matter what because I might not find anyone else. As most women are undoubtedly aware, this attracts any number of unsavory characters ready & able to take advantage of your insecurity.

The first was mentally abusive & cheated on me with his supposed ex who was never more than 30 feet from him at any point in time & in constant competition with me. What finally convinced me it wasn't meant to be? Strangely enough, when I was about to go visit my parents (I was living with him at the time), he kicked me out because he said he was afraid of me & that I might smother him with a pillow & then run off to my parents house. To this day I have no idea where that came from.

The next tried to be too controlling, followed me everywhere, constantly asking me what I was doing, would not even let me go to another room of the house by myself & was always treating my possessions like his own. Coming on the heels of my last relationship, I was less than happy. When I told him I wanted more space to myself, he tried to kill me, obviously failing.

And then I was with someone who was great at first, but a little emotionally distant & said he would be allowed to love me if I would join his church & convert to his religion. No, I didn't do it. That was the straw that broke the poor, tortured camel's back & snapped me out of my phase. I decided then & there that I needed & deserved someone better than the losers that I was attracting.

While I will give almost anyone a chance, I refuse to settle for someone I find unworthy. And I am willing to wait. If there is someone out there that's meant for me, then eventually I will find them. And I don't want to find myself tied to an incompatible partner when I do.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Is being clingy a personality type or a flaw to be corrected?
Posted: 10/16/2009 7:25:18 AM
I was ina relationship very much like this once. He SAID he loved me all the time, & CLAIMED he was the romantic type, but most of the time I simply felt neglected. I tried bringing the issue to his attention but he just shrugged it off. We started fighting, almost always over minor things as we began making each other miserable & finally I decided enough was enough & I left him.

If you can make it work, that's great! But I have a similar clingy/affectionate type personality that demands closeness to a partner. Just being in the same room as someone does not work. Little shows of affection are more important than words. You can say "I love you" until your tongue falls out & it will still not be as important as an unasked for hug to the clingy type. Especially in the beginning of a new relationship.

More often than not, however, it will not work out.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 121 (view)
 
What do you think about people who have psychics' readings?
Posted: 9/28/2009 9:09:16 AM
I do tarot readings for people. Yes, I charge. I used to do it for free & people would pester me constantly for free readings for the most ridiculous stuff. "What color should I dye my hair?" "What outfit should I wear tomorrow?" "Does he like my new shoes?" I wouldn't even do a serious reading for these, I'd toss out a few cards & give a random answer.

Now that I charge for readings, I find I get a TON of relationship questions. I warn every querant that I AM NOT a psychic. I don't see the future in a crystal ball & I'm not going to amaze you with things I should never know. In fact, a GOOD tarot reader will not tell you what decision to make when you ask a question. They should provide you with information so that you can make a better choice. You get a lot of questions like "Is he/she cheating on me?" "Are we right for each other?" "What does he/she think about me?"

People are very uncertain & want to feel more confident that they are making the right choices. That's why they go to psychics & diviners, to try & get the information they need, or to have someone to blame if they make the wrong choice. And then you have people who want someone else to do it for them.

I don't nessecarily see that as a terrible thing, but there are a ton of frauds that will prey on willing victems. I guess you just have to be careful is all. I don't look down on the people who go to them. Just those that keep going back when the fraud has been exposed.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Dating a Gemini
Posted: 9/27/2009 6:36:14 PM

Much of astrology is based on coincidence. There are flakes in every sign. Having said that, Gemini women are fun. And Libra women are superficial. There![/quote

Wow, someone sounds a little bitter. I personally, have not met many superficial/shallow libras. But other than my love of logic & learning, I'm not a close match to my astrologic sign anyway, so I don't put much stock in it.

My father's a gemini, for what it's worth. Talk about a hair-trigger temper, & then suddenly everything is fine again. Oh well.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Loners vs. lonely
Posted: 9/27/2009 5:32:14 PM
I am definetly a loner. While people are NICE to have around at times, for the most part I can do without them. This is not due to abuse/phobias/etc, I'm simply comfortale with my own company. (And the ever-present voises in my head. Say Hi everybody! LMAO) On the other hand, when I'm in a close relationship with someone, I can be rather clingy & want a lot of thier attention. If they are too aloof, or I feel too neglected, we won't last long, & I go back to being a comfortable loner agan.

I AM an author in progress however. Could there be a connection there? LOL
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Age? How important is it?
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:21:52 PM
In my personal experience, anyone under the age of 25 (remember this is just MY experience, there are exceptions) is not yet mature enough for a serious relationship. They are still immature & not sure what they want, whether they think they do or not. 25 to 32, people have a better grasp of what they want & more confiddence that they'll find it. 33 forward, that confidence starts slipping & they begin wondering if they are going to spend thier lives alone & should they just settle for the best of all previously unacceptable possibilities, although some still hold out hope for that special version of perfection. At 50 & up, it's mostly "any port in a storm".
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
New profile but now not getting messages?!
Posted: 9/24/2009 3:15:47 PM
Try going back to the "big-headed" & "arrogant" type of profile since it was working? Or, try yet another new angle. Just a quick suggestion that may or may not be helpful.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 44 (view)
 
What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months?
Posted: 9/24/2009 12:56:32 PM

Good Lord man, there's enough dis-functionality there for my mom to knit a sweater!


I'm sorry but this just really cracked me up!

What it sounds like is it didn't work with "Mr. Right" so rather than be alone (why are people so afraid to be on thier own?) she's going back to "Mr. Right Now" until the next Mr Right comes along. Don't fall for it. I had an ex try this on me once.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 8:20:19 AM
I think it would be worse to be rejected for your personality. If someone looks at you & says you're too ugly to date, you can feel relieved! hat person is shallow & superficial. They are easily swayed by unimportant matters. But if it's your personality, you must really suck. LOL
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Have you ever risked it when the pic just didn't do it for you?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:49:03 AM
I guess I'm of a dying breed that feels how a person looks is near the bottom of the list next to "how many brush strokes do they use to brush thier hair" & "Do they really floss after EVERY meal?"

As has been stated so many times elsewhere I really hate to repeat it, looks can change. And what if something happens & you become blind? Then you're really in trouble. But aside from that, physical attraction at first is only a big deal if your planning on sleeping with the person 20 minutes after handshakes are exchanged. Or am I being too cynical?

But aside from the unlikely event of losing your sight altogether, I personally base very little on a person's physical appearance. You can grab a hobo off the street & dress him up to look like Fabio but that doesn't mean he's going to be a romantic hero. Granted, that's why you talk first but still. Something I've noticed is that after I get to know someone, my attraction for them can change. There was one guy I thought was absolutly to die for, but then as I got to know him, I found out he was someone I wouldn't associate with if you paid me to walk him across the street! I suddenly found he was no longer the slightest bit attractive to me.
One of my ex's (He's my ex only because he moved away) was not someone I would ordinarily even find "cute" but he was a real sweetheart, very affectionate, & very attentive. I quickly found that I began to see him as very physically desirable, despite my first indication.

But, as I stated, I guess I am of a swiftly disappearing type who never takes things at (pardon the bad pun) face value.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 340 (view)
 
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:33:09 AM
People seem to be quick to fight over this issue. Truth be told I find it amusing. It's like you people are afraid obeseity is an illness you can catch just by associating with someone. I hate to break it to you, but you can't. So holding up that holy cross of "YOU MUST DIET & EXERCISE YOU SINNER!" isn't really going to save you from some looming evil.

So NOT counting the people who get depressed over thier weight, NOT counting people that have existing or developing illnesses (diabetes, heart concerns, cancer, etc), & NOT counting Sumo wrestlers, what is your problem with people who are bigger than you & just don't mind? Are there not ENOUGH skinny men/women out there for you that you need some converts? Are you really afraid we're hogging up all the resources?

I was raised that people are generally different. They have different thoughts, different opinions (those smart enough to come up with thier own & not just parrot everyone else), different likes & dislikes. I, for example, do not like peppers. Almost everyone in my family loves peppers, especially bell. No big deal. I like strawberry jelly, my mother was always a fan of grape. NOTHING wrong with that. So, if you don't like anyone over a certain size, DON'T DATE THEM! Easiest thing in the world. There are people that like bigger men/women & there are people who like not so big. Granted, there are tons of people not happy with thier weight, but I doubt they'll be thanking you later for your rude remarks & constant preaching of the "lifestyle" routine. And I'm surprised some of you are coming across as unhappy as you are. You did the good deed, you lost your excess weight, & your on the fast track to wealth, fame, & never sleeping alone. So what are you so upset about?

But enough of playing devil's advocate, please continue to argue amongst yourselves. The original poster does not seem inclined to continue & your parroting of each other has gotten old. Come get me if anything exciting happens.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 327 (view)
 
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:41:00 PM

That's EXACTLY HOW NOT TO DO IT...... Congrats!
And yes, I am certified....
A good body is 80% kitchen, 20% exercise.....

good luck though...you look like--' you think' you already know everything....


How not to do WHAT? What exactly am I trying to accomplish in your esteemed opinion? I eat so little because I'm not that hungry. Am I supposed to stuff myself like a pig at the food trough when my body is telling me a grilled cheese would fill me up? Sorry, but your post didn't make much sense.

I am one of the first to admit I don't know everything. Not even close. But I DO know what works for me.

For some reason when a woman is happy not being thin she's percieved as being in denial or full of herself. If you don't like my type, there's plenty of other fish for ya.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 321 (view)
 
BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured??
Posted: 9/23/2009 12:37:06 PM
I did not read all 14-15-whatever pages of comments so I appologise if this has been mentioned before, but I really get tired of the first comment when someone mentions they are over 90 pounds is to say "Well start exercising & watch your diet!" Thank you Jenny Craig! Now if I can borrow your soap box please?

Seriously, I am one of those people who think (to steal the popular phrasing) full figured people, both male & female, look better than twigs. I don't like hugging a person & being afraid of getting stabbed by a misplaced collarbone, or being afraid of thier ribcage imploding. I don't like looking at someone & thinking they've just come from back from a vacation with the Donner party. Just not me. And for the record, I eat one, usually small meal a day, a sandwhich & bowl of soup, or a plate of goulash, I walk all the time & I am constantly swimming. I don't have a thyroid condition & my metabolism is normal. I drink water & tea, on rare occasions I will have a single can of soda. That equates to about once every 3-4 months. On holidays & my birthday I do splurge a bit more. I am not nor care to be a size 2. I hapen to think there's nothing wrong with that. Tell me to go to the gym & I'll tell you where you can put the membership card. So on that note, can we try something a little more inventive?

And unless you're just wanting a one night stand or bit of fun, take it from someone who IS bi, women are just as much a pain in the rear as men are. If not more so at times. There are pros & cons to both & it's mostly on an indiviual basis.
If all your looking for from another female is a sexual fantasy then please, ignore the above.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 179 (view)
 
Stalkers? How many have you gotten from POF?
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:35:58 AM
I never understood the point of staulking. All that time & energy to pester someone that obviously prefers you be out of thier general area. And for what gain? If they haven't fallen for your charms yet, scaring & annoying them is SURE to do the trick!

Actually I had a staulker once. Made threats against me & everything. One of those fun types. Surprisingly enough, after all the legal means were no help, a few well timed comments about being low on dog food seemed to do the trick. I had two big dogs at the time & niether of them fond of him. Ah good times.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Am I over reacting
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:09:08 AM
It does sound like a bit of an over-reaction if everything else went well. Saddly, the age of chivalry has long since passed away, mostly coming from women's liberation, but also people just arn't taught these habits anymore.
While it's fun to have fantasies of a man throwing his coat over a mud puddle or coming home with a bouquet, the lack of such should never be a deal breaker. Try a subtle hint next time to get across your preference.
 Rabidwolfie
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
animal antics
Posted: 9/22/2009 10:32:48 PM

lol! mostly jackasses! a few pigs, snakes and dogs, but mostly jackasses. lol!


I hope the dogs at least were ok! Call me obsessive, but I do hate when women say a man is a dog, because it's always negative! Sure, a mutt will mount amost anything, but aside from that, dogs tend to be loyal, protective, curious & playful animals. And if you train them right they won't hump your leg. LOL

Still looking for my dog, but I've certainly had enough fleas. They cling to you, never letting you go somewhere without them & often make you want to start stratching, & not to mention they suck you dry of paitience & resources. Is there a human version of Advantage? LMAO
 
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