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Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

relationship people/solo people Posted: 7/20/2009 5:16:47 PM
I think l am pretty middle ground. l am just as happy with being in a relationship as l am happy when l am single. l have had three long term relationships, but do not choose to rush into the next one. l enjoy my time being single but will not push away people who come along who might be good with me. l have not found the one l will be with forever as of yet but l am sure that will come with time.....You are right though, l find that sooo many people are either in massive serial monogomist mode or permanently single mode and not open to trying the other side at all. l have run into people who want good times only, but then have run into people who want marriage and 2.1 kids yesterday like whoooa! Whatever happened to enjoying someone's company and letting it progress from there?

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 120 (view)

havng piercing and dressing like a teenager in your forties, is that ok? Posted: 6/4/2009 2:51:31 PM
I have a huge tattoo (not full body mind you) and piercing fetish and it doesn't look like l am going to grow out of it anytime soon l have a labret (between the chin and lip), my tongue, ears, and the girls done and l am absolutely in love with them and really do not see me removing them in the next ten years. l am not trying to be younger just simply love the way they look and have always been one to like adornments. Now that my piercings are finished l will be moving onto starting the five tattoos l want. To each their own and of course as always it is a matter of preference, but l like the metal and l like the ink.....but yet l still am conservative to a point as well. Too much and it is not quite for me either.....Does that make me a hypocrite? lol

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Could Not tonight honey, I have a headache soon become an obsolete phrase? Posted: 6/4/2009 2:31:19 PM
Having an orgasm cures a tension headache but will not cure a full on migraine....However if l orgasm before the migraine kicks in full time then sometimes it does do the trick and l can avoid a potential "day loss". I get cluster migraines and have learned much of what triggers them (chocolate is a HUGE no-go if you suffer from migraines boooo) and what the symptoms are so l can for the most part nip it before it hits that stage, it is when l wake up with a full blown one or am out and don't have anything at hand to catch it in time well then it is a cold dark room with ice packs for the neck and forhead and l generally can call the day done. They suck a$$ bigtime so anything l can do to try to avoid them l am sooo game

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Men Shaving... Posted: 6/4/2009 1:53:17 PM
I LOVE a shaved man!!! The silky soft feel of the skin covering the rock hard steel underneath is one of the most erotic experiences ever! Also being one who likes to ahem play there is nothing better than running my tongue along the soft feel of freshly shaved skin. If the man is trimmed closely l am okay with that too but it still doesn't feel as nice orally as the bare smooth flesh. Many people who don't do it regularly find the problem with wetness, ingrown hairs and the itchiness but once you begin the ritual of keeping it that way those problems go away for the most part. l couldn't imagine growing it back in, l shave daily and it is just part of my daily routine. Whether it is truly more hygienic or not it sure does make me feel cleaner and fresher and it smells great. At first l went through all the same things, ingrown hairs and itchiness and extra wetness but once my girl got adjusted to life with no hair she came to appreciate it, l get ingrown hairs rarely and never itch at all anymore, the wetness went away once my girl figured out it didn't need to lubricate the hair because it was gone. lt is all about personal preference and l prefer without, nothing better than smooth skin on smooth skin yummy!!!

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

BEFORE the first date: a short Rant Posted: 6/2/2009 12:49:20 AM
Yes l have totally experienced this and it does make things difficult. But now l basically give back what l receive, if l get a message that only says "hi", then that is exactly what they get back, if the next one is just as retarded then l don't bother again. They usually get the benefit of the doubt when it comes to the initial contact simply because the men on here are so used to not being read or responded to that they are unwilling to put in a huge amount of effort for the first contact.....l will give them that but if l say hi back then they better get ready to show me what they got or l will lose interest fast!

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

69 only Posted: 6/2/2009 12:41:46 AM
A relationship has to be mutual understanding and yeah l find it pretty selfish if it is expected that he gets head and you don't always get yours. If you are willing to give him head and not receive then there has to be times when this is reciprocated, l know exactly what you mean by "hard to moan with a full mouth". l don't much care for 69 because when l am going down on my man l am concentrating on what pleasure l am giving him but lose that for myself if it is being done to me at the same time. I definitely have a wayyy more pleasurable orgasm when l am receiving oral and can relax and enjoy rather than trying to split between enjoying and giving pleasure at the same time. But then that is just me. For the poster who talks about the bf not liking giving oral....well thats where the relationship thing comes in, if he wants it done to him then by all means it should be done back. Why is it that it is assumed that we girls just "love" to give oral? We don't all like it. l like the pleasure l am giving my man, not the act itself. Having a guys d:ck in my mouth doesn't do anything for me beyond making me horny because l am giving him pleasure and it is him blowing that gets me going, not the act of doing it...JMO

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

The myth of a woman's so called sexual peak. Posted: 6/2/2009 12:27:44 AM
I really thought this had to be a myth until l hit 25, since then every year that passes my libido rises more and more. I swear l thought there was no way l could enjoy it more than l did in my twenties but l get proved wrong as every year passes. If this is what a guy goes through l feel bad for them because l swear if it doesn't even out l am going to die!!!

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

That's all in the past Posted: 6/1/2009 11:58:47 PM
I believe that "the past is the past" because not one single person will ever be the same in the years to come. Things you might have done long ago, many would not do now as they have gained insight, experience, and knowledge. I also know that along the way everyone will end up in different stages in their lives and different places and so there are different frames of mind. l certainly know that things l have done ten years ago....heck even five years ago are things that although l am happy for the memories and wisdom gained from it, are things l would most likely never do again. In terms of who l am today....well l guess no, the past isn't the past, because everything l have done and gone through defines the person l am today and because l like who l have become so far, l have no regrets. I have a friend who went through a pretty bad stage in her life, she lost her firstborn and unfortunately didn't deal with it as she should have so for a time became pretty self-destructive. She cheated, she let some of her closest people down, she put a very nice man through the wringer and destroyed something that could have been really good for her. In the end she woke up and realized what she was doing to herself and the people around her and grew from it. She has made amends where she could and has learned from these things. Should she be judged?...l don't think so, the person she became at that stage of her life was not the girl l knew and loved and certainly is not the girl she is today. Sorry but unless the person is still acting the same, or making the same mistakes today, then the past truly is just that....the past....JMO

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Comfort Zone Posted: 6/1/2009 11:43:52 PM
I have been attempting to step outside of my comfort zone for a few years now, but because it is unfamiliar territory l am not sure how well it is really going . One thing though.....even though nothing has worked in my favor to this point, l DO find that each new venture l have taken on has been better than the last one so l must be on the right track. l just keep holding to the hope that eventually the better and better will somehow soon become the "best" and l will finally find the right fit....oh well, wish me luck HAHAHA

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 97 (view)

Guys: Tgirls hot or not?? Posted: 5/19/2009 9:01:45 PM
Since l am a girl l can not answer for a guy but l CAN answer in the opposite and no l can honestly say l would not have shock or indignation if l found out my "hot guy" was missing parts but boy would l be dissappointed!!! And l have every right to be!!! It is a lie plain and simple and why should anyone be okay with that? I have known quite a few gay/lesbian/transgendered individuals in my lifetime and they were warm wonderful people who gave me many good memories but l can also tell you that if one of my lesbian friends (l mean the ones who truly did not like men) took a "woman" home to have a night of hot sex and SURPRISE! it was a man, they would be uber p:ssed!!! They would also turn them away and be "disgusted" by this person.....not because of what they are but because of the deception they pulled. It is no different from a heterosexual person trying to convince a homosexual that they should just do it anyways because it is PC.....Sorry l call bullchit!!! l am tired of the ranting about acceptance and yet more and more homosexual people seem to be trying to push that their preferred way of living is more "correct" than being heterosexual when it isn't more right, it is just different! Why is it we have to be all good about a woman wanting to screw women and a man wanting to screw men but when a heterosexual person stands up and says sorry l just don't swing that way they are accused of being politically incorrect?

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

My theory on why people call other people sluts Posted: 5/19/2009 7:57:01 PM
I have been guilty of calling a woman a slut before but for me it was in use for someone who was completely out of control in her behaviour (only my opinion of course and completely subjective blah blah blah). lf a girl sleeps around it is her perogative, if a beautiful girl wants to flaunt what she has then by all means (l can be envious without being jealous, meaning l can appreciate and wish to have what she has without letting it affect me as a person and want to lash out at her for something she cannot control) but when a woman does something like allow a man to finger her in the bar for all to see then she might fall into my personal "slut" definition. Do as you please with your life but if you allow for yourself to do things where everyone gets to be a party to whether they want to or not you open yourself to whatever name calling comes with it....Not saying it is right just saying thats what happens......of course that is just my opinion and every one will have their reasons why they do or do not feel the way they do, this is just mine

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Dating single women with children. Posted: 5/19/2009 7:34:18 PM
You are not mean or selfish in the least and for the love of gawd do NOT attempt to go outside how you feel on this subject. l dated a man who did not want children (did not know it at the time) and it was a disaster from the word go. He had two children from a previous relationship and when we got right into the conversation about them he referred to them when they were born as "red, wrinkly alien things" and it shocked me to the core!!! I asked him why he would turn around and not only date a woman with children but actively pursue one when he felt this way and he had no answer. lt could never work out because his views on parenting were completely and totally out in left field due to his feelings about children themselves so it is best for all parties involved to just stay away from that situation. It is most unfair to the children as well and they are innocent bystanders who do not deserve to have to be involved in it

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

Leaving The Bathroom Door Open Posted: 5/19/2009 7:16:21 PM
Awww dammit!!! The one stupid time l didn't read it all the way through!!! Thanks Rock, can always count on you to point it out

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 74 (view)

Leaving The Bathroom Door Open Posted: 5/19/2009 6:32:05 PM
Didn't read all the posts but read enough to see people actually telling the OP that he needs to relax.....l TOTALLY disagree.....yes couples share but everyone needs to have respect and privacy if they so wish. You don't expect your friends to go with the door open nor do you expect your family to (mom, dad, kids) so why should anyone expect their s/o to do so? l do not want to see my man sitting on the pot and would expect that he respect my privacy as well. l am a "wierd" one when it comes to the bathroom thing myself. Not as severe as this gentleman but almost. Yeah sorry but when with my man l would like to keep some of the mystery. One of the biggest things that people forget when in a relationship is that there still needs to be some sort of decorum. Yeah we all know that people poo, fart, scratch things etc., but really do we need to see it? Not really. My ex used to torture me about going to the bathroom and it was truly humiliating and uncomfortable and in the end it almost gave me health problems because l began to wait till he was out of the house in order to use my own bathroom. Sad yes, an issue yes, but putting that aside why would you want to humiliate and exacerbate the situation even further for someone you love? We all have quirks so why not let it be if it isn't harming anyone?...JMO

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

Moral Dilemma - What to do? Posted: 5/17/2009 10:10:41 PM
The fact that she continuously feels the need to check up on him despite not catching him doing anything just reeks of insecurity and some deep rooted trust issues. l think she should leave him, NOT because of the incidences mentioned within, but because she seems to not be able to look at what her actions are going to cause and by continuing to look over his shoulder and trying to find something going on she may as well end it now before she pushes him away, which will happen eventually anyways. How awful it must be to have to walk on eggshells constantly for him and it must be awful to just always be looking for something or some reason to accuse him of wrong doing. What a big waste of energy and emotional output! Being that he has told this woman on fb that he has got a girlfriend and having said all that he should be saying he has done his part and be dammed what she is doing. Yeah maybe he should just remove her from his friends but to be finding something wrong and to keep being mistrustful is just a pain in the a$$ for all involved, including herself. She needs to end it and take care of some of her issues before she engages in the next relationship....JMO

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Piercings Posted: 5/17/2009 4:26:20 PM
I love my piercings and have had nothing but a positive response to them. l personally wouldn't think it would enhance pleasure, l know that a guy with his tongue done doesn't add anything orally but l like the look of it so it doesn't matter. The nipple rings definitely increased sensitivity and even months later it has not calmed down as my friend said it would so l don't know. With my tongue ring l had increased saliva until my mouth finally figured out it wasn't food in there and now it is back to normal, but it hasn't decreased it at all.

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Warning women about piercings? yes or no Posted: 5/17/2009 3:53:38 PM
Love piercings and tats, it is a huge turn on for me and many men refuse to get it because the thought of impaling there "boy" makes them squeamish.....Too bad too because it was a very pleasurable experience for me as well. l think it would be more in the way it was presented than the actual stating it. "hey baby you should see my penis l got some hardware for you winkwink" might not be first date material but if you casually ask through the date if she has any tats or piercings, whatever her answer is she will no doubt ask you the same. At that point there is nothing wrong with being diplomatic and saying "well yes l do have one but it is in a bit of a more sensitive area" and then let the convo go from there. Some people have said this isn't first date material but l disagree as seeing some of the responses on here have made me realize that this is a big thing for some people so it is a "why waste anyones time" type of situation. l would love to be surprised with it but apparently there are those out there who would not be as appreciative

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

if not interested best to... Posted: 5/17/2009 3:09:32 PM
For me it all depends on what the message l received contained. If it was a genuine message then l will respond with a curteous and polite thanks but no thanks message, but if it was a "nice t:ts wanna chat" email then no they don't deserve the time of a response. There have been occasions where l read the message but didn't have time to respond and then just never got back to it (my bad) but for the most part l try to be polite and give them a response, l just think it is the right thing to do. l have had many men reply back nasty but on the other hand l have also received some very nice "thanks for responding and letting me know it was appreciated" messages and that makes it worthwhile to put in that effort for another human being. Besides the nasty emails l get shocked me at first but have now become very humorous and l use them to get a giggle with my galpals

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Do we women really need an orgasm? Posted: 5/12/2009 5:25:24 PM
"I pity men who work so hard just to get that special moment." Why? We work to give them their pleasure, what's wrong with us wanting to have some effort put into us? If it takes you hours to cum well maybe l might digress a bit, but to pity a man because he put in time and effort to give me pleasure in return? Appreciation yeah of course, but pity if it takes a little time? l don't need to orgasm every time l have sex but l will expect it sometimes if l am in a loving relationship. Also what do you mean do women NEED to orgasm? Do men NEED to orgasm? No but if you ever walked away or stopped it before he was finished what do you think would happen then? "Was watching a documentary this past weekend regarding sex and sexuality and orgasm is necessary for getting pregnant. According to them at least. " OMDG!!!! If having an orgasm was required to get pregnant then l would never have kids......As it stands l have had two kids and having an orgasm had no part in getting me pregnant as l never orgasmed with their father. wipes tears oh that gave me the giggle of the day!

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Sleeping over and snoring - kickem out the bed? Posted: 5/8/2009 10:53:43 PM
Yep this is a brutal and very embarassing thing (ahem for a friend of mine of course ) and there isn't a damned thing that can be done about it in some cases. If this is a really big issue then as the person who snores, l wouldn't even attempt to sleep over. l would conclude the fun, have a nice snuggle then go back to my own bed where l could sleep comfortably and not have to worry about it......what many people do not understand is that for some this is a truly uncomfortable situation. l have been invited over to sleep by mates in the past and have actually gotten into fights with them because they would get angry thinking l didn't care about them and even trying to explain just how bad it was they still insisted on having a sleepover which resulted in nose pinching, rolling over, being shaken, poked and whatnot. l am embarassed, and feel bad for keeping the other person up and in the end the result was me staying awake for the remainder of the night in the dark staring into nothing while my mate got a good sleep. They would wake up all happy they got sleep and had me to share the night with them, never knowing that ten minutes previously l was contemplating how much l wanted to kill them in their oh so peaceful sleep as l struggled to keep my eyes open l just go home to my own bed....saves hard feelings on my end and ensures everyone gets a good nights rest....including me

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Spontaneous sex vs planned sex Posted: 5/8/2009 10:05:49 PM
l like a good mix of both within a relationship.... The spontaneous sex happens wherever and whenever, it is usually quick, happens between other obligations and just serves to keep things lively and passionate The planned sex though is for the intimacy part of being a couple. lt is when you plan for what you are going to do to your mate, how you will tease them, play with them, and eventually get them off with a big bang that leaves you both breathless and sated. l find the spontaneous and planned sex to be equal and to serve different places within the relationship, both are satisfying in terms of what they achieve and l feel boh are necessary to keep a relationship solid. lf it was always planned then it might become routine and boring whereas if it is always spontaneous, then one partner or the other might become resentful of the lack of time and effort put into the sexual portion of the relationship.....JMO

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Has your relationship ever generated HATERS? Posted: 5/8/2009 9:48:40 PM
Hahaha, well truth be told l have this situation with my best friend.....but it works both ways and it sucks. l just thank gawd that the both of us are able to talk about it and recognize it for what it tuly is and so it does not get in the way of our friendship because we really do want each other to be happy and have a good run of it. It is the b;tch side of us that sometimes rears its ugly head saying "l don't have anyone yet so l don't want you to either". Not a pretty side but it is the human side of us.

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

That's just what people do. Posted: 5/5/2009 1:29:40 PM
Ahhh it's funny this is being brought up in a thread as l just used this phrase the other day....not for myself but for someone else. If someone else uses this turn of phrase in reference to themselves then l have a problem with it as l feel they are using it to fall back on in order for people to forgive them. However, l have used this phrase for people in my life who have honestly made mistakes and have used it to comfort them. l think the big difference for me there is the fact that these people were NOT making excuses and were truly sorry/repentent for the mistake they made.....ln that situation l am okay with telling them to let it go because as humans we do make mistakes. l just had a meeting at my daughters school where the previous week a teacher lost his temper when she nailed him in the face with a basketball. Words were exchanged and the teacher had physical contact with my daughter which due to another situation had an extreme and adverse ramification........I was raging mom-mode angry and my first reaction was to rip his head off. However, l know this teacher quite well having been in the system with him for five years now and l know his character. Yes l am well aware of everything that could go through a persons mind while reading this but it was a very big battle in my head as to what l was going to do about it. This teacher is a favorite among the students and to be honest is one of those teachers that make a mark (positively) in most of his students lives, he is an asset to the school and genuinely cares. But with this one act of losing control he screwed up royally. l went into the meeting with extremely mixed feelings but upon seeing him sitting there surrounded by his colleagues looking very defeated and very scared of how this was going to go, things changed. He was in tears and felt absolutely horrible for what he had done, it truly was a mistake and it truly was a situation where he had been human. He took all responsibility for what he did, he is taking his lumps from the district for this and took his lumps from me and my daughter as well. He did not shy away, he stood up for his action and made no excuses.....So in turn l told him "we all make mistakes, we are human and if l claimed to be perfect in the raising of my daughter l would be a liar......l am human and make mistakes. l think it is in how you deal with it.....lf you shrug your shoulders at something you have done and say "hey, l am human and l make mistakes" and then expect everyone to get over it because you made that statement then no, it is not acceptable. But if you made an honest mistake, did what you could to rectify what you did and take the consequences, then yes certain times you can say, "l am human and made a mistake, and will use this in the future to never make that mistake again" well.....lt is the people who continue to do the same things over and over again and then shrug and use that statement that l say pfffft to.....JMO

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

If you found out he used an escort Posted: 5/5/2009 1:04:56 PM
Like one poster said on here....it would only be a deal breaker if he used it while we were together. The past is the past and l am happy to leave it there for the most part (things like bestiality and pedophilism<---is that a word? lol...are the line crossers) and besides the past is what makes the person l know and care about today. l know many people who have been escorts/prostitutes, and also know many who have used them, including members of my own family who really didn't need to use them. l think a lot more people would be surprised to know the things in the pasts of people they know and love. Just most people don't talk about it because it is sooo taboo. l only know of the people in my life because they know l am not judgemental when it comes to such matters and know that their secret is safe with me. There are many reasons why a person would use such a service and not all of it has to do with lack of morals or standards. It doesn't change who the person is and if someone is going to all of a sudden dislike a PERSON because of one ACT, then that is sad. l get the risk of std thing, however l used to frequent a bar where there were a great many regulars who all knew each other, none of them were prostitutes but yet there was a point where there was an outbreak of the clap within the circle (not me PHEW lol) and it was a shocker to find out just how bad the situation was and got before anyone knew about it.......trust me there are just as many risks out there among even the people you know for std's than there are from buying it on the street.

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Tattoos and Chivalry?? Posted: 5/5/2009 12:40:06 PM
To the poster who said that tattoos and piercings are just for attention, sorry but l totally disagree. They may be for show but not necessarily for attention. You buy hats and shoes and sunglasses because you like them and wear them because they feel good to you. No different for the piercings and tats. My piercings are no different than putting on my rings in the morning, they make me feel good and be damned to anyone who doesn't like them, they are for me not for them.......mind you l have piercings that yes are for attention but if anyone is seeing them l am naked and they better be paying attention to me!!! Chivalry is not dead....... Carrying heavy bags out of a store, a gentleman sees me coming and stops turns around and comes back to open the door for me. Ran out of gas in front of someones house awhile back and a guy sitting on his steps asks if l needed help and even offers to put five bucks worth of gas in my car just to help me get to where l was going. A child at my kids school got away from mom and a guy runs, grabs the child before he hits the street and gentleman promptly delivers him back to the safety of mom. A mean old geezer steals a paycart from my daughter and hurts her when he does it, and a perfect stranger runs out of the store to try to kick the snot out of him for me. l could go on and on.....no chivalry is not dead and for the person who says that and that women killed it, well l feel bad for you because these small acts of kindness are things that can make my day at the best of times and l try to return that favor as much as l can to show the gentlemen of this world that l appreciate it!!!

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

It's better to love and lost, then to have never loved at all Posted: 4/30/2009 2:48:50 AM
Cookiee monster-l could not have described so absolutely and completely the exact thing that l have been through as well as you have put this into words.......annnnd ironically enough this post could not have come at a more coincidental time for me... "To have found that special someone and then lost it. That person who made you feel complete and when gone you feel nothing but emptiness and heartbreak. All your life you'll just be comparing everyone to that person and that might not be the best thing." l feel as though l have lived the last eighteen years of my life with this....... When l was young l met a man who as he walked away turned to his sister and looked her straight in the eyes and said "that girl is going to be mine" and from that day on l was. For over two years of my life he completed me, he helped me gain confidence, and to acquire the self esteem that my family had worked very hard to destroy. He was a man that l handed my heart and my soul over to and so did he. We loved hard and we loved with an intensity that l have never again had with another in my life. Sadly circumstances separated us that was beyond our power to control and poof he was gone.....only through the death of a few of my loved ones (family) have l ever felt grief such as that! After some years l moved on, l had a family and after the father of my kids and l split, l still kept moving forward through life....however every so often l would wonder about him and l would wonder if l would ever see him again and if he was happy. Up till three days ago l thought l was passed wondering about the what-if's and had thought l was over feeling so passionately about this brief moment in my life. Then all of a sudden l found him and went to see him........l walked through the door and there he was, our eyes locked and WOW!!! 18yrs of my life rolled away. He has aged and isn't the man he used to be but seeing him EVERYTHING came back as though it had never gone away. This man who l had not thought of in at least four years still gave me butterflies right down to my toes! He was pretty shook up seeing me and it had some affect on him as well. l am left feeling very at odds with this because the memories are so vivid in regards to him and the pain of so much as well as the joy l felt over these times has been brought back full hilt.......lt is going to be interesting to see where this goes in terms of creating a friendship between us. l am still not sure about the statement "it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" because it has been 18yrs and from the moment l saw him those three days ago, l realized that it was still with me all these years and wonder if in some way it has colored everything when it has come to the relationships l had after and the pain l had felt and for as long as it lasted, nope not sure l can agree at all. Maybe with this reunion l can finally put those "demons" to rest and truly move on to something just as worthwhile and special, but up till now, l guess l really hadn't done it as well as l had convinced myself l had.......

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

Burn out effect of online dating Posted: 4/29/2009 7:49:44 PM
Lmfao AVER- yup totally have had that happen to me.....met a guy who stated l am attractive and blah blah blah, but yet had no pic. I met him anyways since l am not out for looks, but the guy was all about how he was "relieved" l looked like my pics and how he was sooo happy he didn't have to ditch me or pretend it wasn't him and walk on by me. Now l found this very offensive since he wasn't all that. l asked him if he had done this before and he said straight out that yes he had. Was a very daunting thing to hear and earned him a no go for any future dates simply because his attitude stunk!!!

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

a young girl interest in a older male Posted: 4/29/2009 12:03:46 AM
Well she hasn't come back with an answer to the fact that she posted she was in a relationship a week ago.......However having said that l disagree with a lot of the posters here about the negative aspect of the age difference. The father of my kids was 33 when we got together and l was 19. I had my first child with him when l was 20. All in all we had almost nine years together and two kids, our reasons for splitting up had nothing to do with our age difference. I would have stayed with him for the rest of my life if he had been willing to work with me on it. The next ex was also 14 years older than me and l was the first one he had dated so young, again, not the age difference that was an issue and it was the same issue he had with all the women his own age he had dated in the past.

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

So when do you tell someone that you're no good in bed? Posted: 4/28/2009 11:25:11 PM
Although you have been to counselling l am curious as to what kind of counselling you went to. If you went to just a regular therapist you might want to consider going to someone a bit more specialized as a regular therapist is only generically (crap don't think thats the right spelling) trained in all areas so they only have sort of bandaid training in the heavier traumas such as yours. I would personally try to seek out a counsellor for either sexual abuse, because that is what happened no matter what you may think because you were married, or a counsellor who specializes in PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), because this trauma has bled through into how you are functioning today. I personally would go to the latter as opposed to the former because they can actually deal with both issues. In the meantime take the dating thing slow and casual so as to not further damage yourself. Dating is brutal to begin with never mind being handicapped with some pretty big issues such as this one......I wish you all the luck in the world girl! You are cute as a button and no one in the world deserves this kind of treatment. As many others have said, it was him not you!!!....JMO

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

Burn out effect of online dating Posted: 4/28/2009 7:04:30 PM
Yup, going through it right now which is why l have stopped dating. Not fair to me or the guys when it has become more work to go and meet people than it is to just stay in my jammies and watch movies or read a good book. It isn't too bad though because l have an awesome set of kids and great group of friends to keep me occupied until l am ready to tighten the bootstraps and step back up again. There is one poster here who talks about the whole "why worry about being in a monogomous relationship" thing and why not just have a bunch of good sex while you are looking for Mr. Right.....well there comes a point where that just isn't good enough anymore and also you get pretty bored of and burnt out with that situation when that becomes the standard line from people. Used to (seem) to be that it was 1 in every 4 guys who would make this statement and now it appears to be 3 of every 4 guys who offer this up. yawn getting tired of being offered sex "free and clear" when l have stated l so obviously want something different from that.....and the lies to try to get it are getting tiresome......."no hun l really do want a relationship hump and that girl for me is you humphump" yeahhhh rightttt. Where is the off button on the freak magnet l have on my forehead?

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Has anyone ever questioned the abuse. Posted: 4/28/2009 6:34:23 PM
I went from a psychologically abusive household into a very psychologically abusive relationship. I stayed for nine years because the home life made me believe l was only good enough for what l got and that if l wasn't me, l wouldn't be going through it. Nine years l believed l deserved it and it was okay. When l finally left him it was life altering. l stayed single for four years to find out who l truly was and to heal up from the years of abuse. I struggle every once in awhile but for the most part l am a much better person and not slogged down from the crap in my past. I will never again fall into that trap and will always be grateful for the awakening and healing l underwent......not all are as lucky as me though and l know many of my friends still struggle almost daily from the damages of the abuse and still question themselves about the situations they were in.

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

skittish about callng Posted: 4/27/2009 4:05:03 AM
If you aren't comfortable with the phone thing then just don't do it. l tend to avoid the phone because l think l talked myself sick on it when l was younger l dunno lol. I prefer messaging, texting and then talking face-to-face. I have however talked on the phone also but l usually go with my instincts on it. l have talked to some on the first night of contact and then there have been others where we didn't physically talk until two months later when we met. I guess it depends on my mood at the time

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Heterosexual Woman wanting female bosom budies ? Posted: 4/27/2009 3:32:03 AM
HAHAHA no 1-that was awesome!!! Well l gotta say that l have gotten drunk and played with my friend a bit before but it was never beyond boob play and kissing and it was simply drunken retardedness. Me and my girl have always joked that if we could swing that way me and her would be married (is that legal here yet? HAHAHA) but there is nothing sexual between us and l do not feel so inclined towards any woman and never have. I don't knock it for anyone else but it isn't my thing. However having said that, l hug my friends, kiss them on the cheeks, maybe a quick lip peck when drunken stupidity kicks in and we all "love each other man" but l dont see this as anything bad when we have known each other for 10+ years, had kids together, gone through failed relationships together, watched our kids grow together etc. etc. We have just all put in the years, time and effort to the friendship that we have gained a comfort with each other.....mind you l have never spooned with one of my friends and aside from a massage on the neck to make me or them feel better when particularly stressed out, ummm, never had that happen or seen it done. Yes l do realize many women feel more accepting of things with each other. We go to the bathroom with each other and it isn't uncommon to see girls go into the same stall to talk while they pee, also l have felt up several sets of boobs, but it was because they were freshly done and they were showing me the difference between silicone and saline lol, l dunno, l just think chicks are not as hung up about some shit as men are. When l was checking out the boob jobs it really was nothing sexual it was just seeing what it was. l find it funny however that a guy would ask why a girl or baby can have physical contact with boobs and the woman won't get turned on but a man does and they do....l mean geesh l have seen dudes being weiners and slap each other on the arse or give a cup just to be an idiot and get a laugh and the guy receiving doesn't all of a sudden start sporting a huge woody. Women who are attracted to men will get turned on if a man starts to play with them (if it is a relationship or an interest to the girl) but if she is not into women she won't get turned on by that kind of thing. Same as if a man was cupped by a woman it would ellicit a different type of reaction....l dunno thought that would be obvious? *Ohhh whoops just saw you were a virgin, that explains a lot more........if you are looking for a bosom buddy for yourself you may have to look in your church (if you have one) or find another virgin such as yourself but people are sexual beings and l do not think you are going to find many in your age group who are going to not be turned on by these things. I don't know but your reply to that one post really sounds as though you find sex in general almost distasteful.....l wish you luck anyways

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

High Maintenance versus Being Realistic Posted: 4/27/2009 12:18:49 AM
"A "Realistic" woman is someone who is selfless, humble, goal oriented, smart, is not needy, can go a day without worrying about being th center of attention, honest, caregiver, compassionate, and more." Excuse me if l read this wrong in your post but can you explain to me how the above would or could be a bad thing in a person?

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

How proud and how private is too much? Posted: 4/26/2009 4:41:32 PM
I am very private when it comes to my home as well, especially when it comes to someone l am only casually seeing. l have kids and so no one knows where l live until we know where it is going. The last guy l was seeing never did know where l lived and he still doesn't to this day. l have had many negative responses to this as l have been accused of being paranoid, of having a husband/boyfriend at home, of making them out to be monsters when l didn't know them, but despite this l stick to my guns. l have had two stalkers in my life and it has taught me that being safe is first and foremost and l am just not willing to risk my daughters safety for the sake of appeasing somebody's sense of feelings....JMO

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Dropped like a hot potato Posted: 4/26/2009 3:36:14 PM
"What I can't seem to fathom is why so many people think, "oh well, just don't worry about it...!" and no one is supposed to care about how many many people on here don't care! It's just not a healthy way to relate to people, writing and flirting with dozens at a time and never choosing someone for longer than a few dates. This site is definitely for the newly divorced (one to two years) because this is what they've dreamed of all during their marriage--non stop attention from the opposite sex appreciating them in all their glory, but so shallow-minded they can't stick with anything" I have developed the "oh well don't worry about it" attitude because l had to. lf l got insulted over every person who stopped messaging me, stood me up, decided l wasn't the one for them, was married, found someone better than me, or was incompatible, l would be screwed!!! When dealing with on line dating you come to see that you have so many people at the tip of your fingers that you have to adopt a "who cares" attitude or you will become bitter and jaded VERY quick.....lol oh wait, reading my profile l have become that. I think we all want to find the one for us, but we have to put on a thick skin and do a lot of weeding before that happens.

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Religion and dating Posted: 4/26/2009 3:20:35 PM
I have dated men of many different religions and none of it has worked out and it is truly sad. l have always had a deep respect for religion and its roots and try to learn as much as l can about all that is out there. l believe in God but do not believe in organized religion and l have not been in a church (outside of events held in one such as weddings/funerals) since l was a little girl. My relationships did not last because the men l was with were not respectful of my beliefs. I was with a muslim gentleman who had discussed this with me and l told him simply that although l did not believe in his religion l could respect it to the fullest. I have read out of the Quran and feel that the muslim religion as it is supposed to be has many great values that if put into proper form is a wonderful ideology, however as it stands the muslim relgion put into practice is not how l believe it was meant. This gentleman stayed with me and it was wonderful for a few months but he could not get over the fact that l would not convert for him. l had stayed respectful of him and his beliefs but in the end it was too much for him and he went his seperate way. I know l can be respectful of someone elses beliefs and values and have put it into practice time and again, it has been the other person who could not get past it. My girls are both in a Catholic school but l have told them that l put them in it for many reasons not just the relgious factor. I chose a Catholic school because l wanted them to learn from someone better equipped than l about God. Ultimately l have told them that what they choose to believe and practice is completely up to them. My one daughter has chosen a Catholic junior high but l am not sure where my other daughter will choose to go. l want my children to have a respect for religion and other peoples beliefs and l want them to understand that although we do not go to church l do believe in a higher power than ourselves but l have also taught them that it is their decision as to what they do with it.

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

blocking Posted: 4/24/2009 7:54:39 PM
I have only ever had to block one person and it was because l kept getting messages along the lines of.... "you're fat, l bet your c**t is loose and sloppy" and they kept coming even though l wouldn't respond and even began to unread/delete the messages. WOW psychosis really doesn't have a boundary sometimes!!!

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 232 (view)

why do alot of the guys at this site have a problem with dogs? Posted: 4/24/2009 7:43:51 PM
Ohhh Deja Vu!!! At least this post hasn't gotten as heated as the one before this one was revitalized lol...... I have no dogs as of yet but in my family they are a huge part, when the family gets together the dog's all get their visit as well....We have Rudy and Dukie the short-legged weiners, one cantankerous Tessie an old lab who really wants nothing to do with the festivities, and Reggie our beloved doofus mastiff/boxer cross. These guys are a huge part of the family and yes are treated with the same love an respect as our other family counterparts.......My sister-in-law had a bday party for Reggie with a cake and everything, it was freaking hilarious, almost as much because we all showed up, sung happy bday and everything.......trust me it was done tongue-in-cheek and was really just to get us all together for an outing but it was funny as heck and we had a blast, our Reggie loved it as well!!! When l found myself single after almost nine years l was left with two kids, two cats, two sugar-gliders, four degus, three hamsters, four hedgehogs, two chinchillas, finches, fish, two budgies, a dove, a lop-eared rabbit, a four and a half foot iguana, a chinese water dragon, and a sickly leopard gecko........ Yup, definitely need an animal lover to be in my life!!! I don't have a problem with someone who does not have a love for animals but l won't be judged for having the love either, just will date someone who has the same feelings as me on this subject is all.

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Would you knowingly date a person that had commited a criminal offense? Posted: 4/24/2009 7:02:46 PM
I dated a man for over a year and didn't find out until halfway through that he spent a lot of time in jail for being busted for one of the largest cocaine busts in my city. It didn't really faze or surprise me but we split up for different reasons than his criminal history......shrugs, l don't think l would have a problem finding something in my exes past if it was not something 1-violent, or 2-something they were still doing.

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

When is enough photos ENOUGH? Posted: 4/24/2009 5:14:55 AM
Annie-l hear exactly what you are saying!!! I have added men to my facebook where l have over a hundred pics of me with full body shots, different angles, different lighting, close up, far away, good pics and even bad pics and yet have still been asked for more? I am like what exactly is it your looking for besides a pic without clothing cause thats not going to happen! And why is it they want the pics sent to their computer? l can understand if it is a thumbnail and hard to see but when you have access to pics that you can view fullsized then what is the purpose of having it sent to you?

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 112 (view)

What are women really looking for? Posted: 4/24/2009 4:53:33 AM
I will buy my own dang coffee thanks!!!.....oh wait wrong thread Holy he// batman!!! How did we go from "what do women want" to the entitled princesses thing geesh! As a woman the first and foremost thing l want is the damn finger pointing gender war thing to stop!!! I find more and more the men l meet are coming into our meets with such a crap attitude expecting me to be like "all the other women" they've met that it ends up turning me off. I am sooo tired of it. What do l want? l want to meet someone who has no more expectations of me than to get to know who l am and see if we would like to do it again (another date l mean)...why does everything have to be so bloody well all or nothing? For every one of the threads posted about "what do women want" there is another one posted about "what do men want".....why the heck is it we can't figure this out?

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

It Drains the life out of me Posted: 4/24/2009 4:10:34 AM
I am not multiorgasmic and it is not often a man will get me off so when it is done right and happens (and nope not after hours and hours of romping yawn boringgg) it is super intense and l am ready for naptime once l come down thanks.

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

How to Pickup Women Posted: 4/20/2009 9:34:21 PM
I would just be happy with a guy not asking me to screw them when l first meet them or assuming thats what we were meeting for!!!

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

A sticky icky situation... Posted: 4/20/2009 9:19:23 PM
K whoa that was the wierdest thing ever!!! l wonder if the OP is going to come back and explain this one to us all hmmmm........and stuff like this is exactly why other posts get deleted

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up........... Posted: 4/20/2009 6:57:04 PM
I have been stood up more than once and although the thought of the revenge that would be is somewhat appealing lol, l just rather not give the loser a second thought...... The best poetic justice for me was when l was stood up and so called a buddy of mine to go out instead (why waste the sitter right?) and when we went to a different bar my so-called date was there and went into fits when he saw me there with another guy!!! He actually approached me and tried to give me some excuse as to what happened to which l put up my hand and said "it is obvious what happened, and if you can't tell l am busy having a great night thank you and good bye". He even had the guts to phone me a few times after that saying he was sorry and could l give him a second chance?....pfffft click

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Body piercings on men? Ladies whats your feelings? Posted: 4/17/2009 9:18:39 PM
"Do not like them... and I wouldnt date a man that is covered with them either." Not sure if l would date a man who was "covered" in them, but eyebrows, tongue, labret, nipples, PA, testicle piercings, all of them are very hot piercings on some people. If I was braver l would consider getting a hood piercing but l will go through only so much pain before l say enough

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Body piercings on men? Ladies whats your feelings? Posted: 4/17/2009 8:19:44 PM
I absolutely love body piercings and tattoos on men.....the only one l am not so sure about is the belly button piercing......l dunno why but it does not look right to me. The best is finding a piercing down below....mmmm like Christmas The nipple rings on a man though are super hot and l love to play with them!!!

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Baby Posted: 4/17/2009 4:46:57 PM
I do not know all the story here but l know l respect both Mandakay and Deerdog a lot in these forums so l will not comment on the exchanges between them. I live in Canada though and l do know that most of the guys who call me "baby" here are nine times out of ten meaning it in a sexual way or a bit more on the derogatory end of things. I am more inclined to not take sweetie or hun as an insult before baby. But l also take in the source of where it is coming from before l ever take offense....JMO

Just_Another_Gurl

Joined: 3/27/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Baby Posted: 4/16/2009 5:30:16 PM
Lol, l am in a place where "baby" is an affectionate term for someone we are interested in. If l was called baby by a stranger l might be wondering where it came from. I have been called sweetie which is a generic term and even hun, but baby has always been only from a SO.

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