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ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 78 (view)

MY EX SET ME UP Posted: 11/16/2009 4:32:45 PM
This is an old tread but .... In 1986 I married a gal with two little girls. One had just turned 5 the other one was 7. When the older one was around 13 - her bio dad was trying to stir up chit. He called the in-laws (her mother's parents) and said I had ........ what ever to her. The in-laws contacted their daughter (my wife) and told her. My wife knew what he was doing and got the girl - her parents and herself all together. (I knew nothing about it at all). They ask the girl. My wife (ex) said the girl said ....... "WHAT ........ dad (me) has never touched me." ------------------- I spent all those years making sure NOTHING ever got started on that stuff. That was right at the time Rosanne Barr and 50 other people (including her dork husband Tom Arnold) had been molested as kids by their dad. Which later turned out to be total bullchit - in some cases done (concocted) by the shrink. I tried to never be alone with either of them. That included trying to wiggle out of taking them to soccer and everything else and that guy tried to get the pOOp started. All these years later - I am still "dad" to both of those girls now 28/30 years old - college educated - married.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 21 (view)

What do guys think DATING means?!! Posted: 11/16/2009 2:52:42 PM
Blame the girls. After being married most of my life - and then not. I started "dating". It was NOTHING BUT casual sex. I just stopped and starting - "maybe I will just run into *her someday" ------------ I came to the conclusion that (these days) girls went right for the sex because guys expected it. Guys expected it because the girls were doing it.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 10 (view)

Just asking if there is some sort of holiday phenomenon that you get more email around this time? Posted: 11/15/2009 10:41:39 PM
I usually go on ignore around this time of year. I only have two people that are "kind of" in my life - my two step-daughters. Both of them have in-laws that have "the family". What is left their mom snatches up. BUT ...... there is always the "drop off". One or both of them swing by my house with a T-Day dinner when they are on the way to one of their in-laws. After six years of this alone on holidays (and almost all days) .......... I still don't like it much. But I am use to it. ------------ I don't chase the girlies around but if I did - I think the beginning of spring would be when I cranked up the efforts. The holidays mostly remind me of winter. Winter is NOT my favorite time of the year. I mostly hibernate and hope for an early spring. BUT ...... for those still in the chase ..... I wish you all the best.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 15 (view)

Any Meaning Behind This -? Posted: 11/15/2009 8:28:54 PM
It is science. If they "sniff" correctly - it creates a vacuum and ....... umm sucks you closer. The end result is better bOOb squish.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

Is this a real possibility? Posted: 11/15/2009 11:25:30 AM
"or am I still wearing rose colored glasses?" ............ yes I don't think someone would split because "oh wow I might be liking him/her". I do think some might use that as some kind of "it is not you - it is me" hogwash. Generally - people do not back away from (what they consider) a good thing. They back out of things they are not all that interested in.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

how to get over it! Posted: 11/15/2009 9:44:08 AM
- Spend at least 30 minutes each day, being grateful for the things, that are in your life now. (kids job family pets) go somewhere and pick up a small “grateful rock” - put it in your change purse (mine sits on my desk) when you see it it reminds you of all the things in your life to be grateful for. - Realize the focus is on NOW - not yesterday (stop trying to live in the past - your life is right now) - Reframe all negative thoughts into positive thoughts (this is very important and works) change “why am I so sad/mad/hurt” to “what all can I do to improve my outlook” “why am I so fat/skinny/ugly/mad” to “what all can I do to look more like I want to look” - Read uplifting information (lots of ebooks available) - Do something productive - it gives you feelings of accomplishment. - Don’t pick at the scab - Spend the time (that you don’t waste thinking about them) on improving yourself / your thinking - Get a hobby that you think is fun. ------------------------------------------ Spending time thinking about him/them = they win. Forgetting all about it and focusing on you and yours = you win. Take the high road. ----------------------------------------- I got so busy, I did not have time to think negative. I also stopped rationalizing. For 20 years she gave me condescending looks / words / actions. OP personally I got very deep into reconstructing my self confidence - self pride - self worth - self esteem. WE ALL NEED TO REMEMBER THIS .............. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. : Eleanor Roosevelt (stop giving people your consent - it is as simple as that)

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

Dumbest Messages Posted: 11/14/2009 10:16:13 PM
I got one a few months back. "you jerk" I had no idea who she was. I am older than dirt and by her age I am just a pup. So ...... this REALLY old gal sent me that message.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

Why so many broken promises, broken hearts, broken homes? Posted: 11/14/2009 8:40:31 PM
So ....... how did anyone make it in life before the personal computer? - the need for one was created How did any family make it on only one income? - big business "created" the need for the two income family. If that had never happened a new Chevy would cost is 8-9k vs 28.k I don't know that the "no fault" is the actual culprit. It does make it easier for people to do the rationalizing to split. I think the stress of daily life causes most of the divorces. Not all by far, but most. "you ain't chit - unless you have one of these - your neighbor has one" The need was created so the cows (us) would get it. Stress - money - more stress - less money ......... often it gets blamed on the other person, even if it is not money related. "your car is 6 six years old - do you really want your co-workers to see that?" ....... create the need. I bet many many people assume life will be soooo much better if they dump him/her. I also bet many find out that did not make things all wonderful at all. If there was a way to get HONEST stories after the dump vs exaggerated flaws in the ex, that *could slow the divorce numbers some. I even ask my ex (three years after she dumped me - married 17 years) "are you happy now" .............. "no" She just changed her rut. Still has the stress like always. Just before my dad died - for no reason he said ...... "I should have stayed with your mom" and he meant it. That was 30 years after he took off with a hottie. There are certainly logical reasons for getting out of a marriage but ..... I also bet much of it is rationalization. Since most are reluctant to admit it (that they exaggerated - to help them rationalize) we seldom read here "I should have stayed".

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 15 (view)

Having a younger child Posted: 11/14/2009 12:40:25 PM
OP the right guy may see it as an opportunity. First marriage 16 years no kids - both to busy spending all the money I made. Second marriage spanned 20 years - I got two girls (at the time were 5 & 7). Twenty three years later (mom took off but) I still have two daughters. They are now 28 & 30 and a heck of a lot closer than many people and their bio kids. The young one just called me 30 minutes ago - she is coming over Wednesday. I also got two son-in-laws and two (oh my cute) little grand daughters. I am still dad to them both and have been for a long time. It could be the right opportunity for the right guy.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 11 (view)

Why do guys chase after girls that are not available? Posted: 11/14/2009 8:17:07 AM
Op you are going to "target zones" - and you know it.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

Why guys are in low maintenance but have big debts? Posted: 11/13/2009 11:23:08 AM
Walk around the world .... wow lol.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

Why guys are in low maintenance but have big debts? Posted: 11/13/2009 11:03:43 AM
All I know is ....... I am sure glad I changed my ways 20 years ago. At one time I was in the upper 2% of money earners in the world. I spent money like it was ......... umm free. I never kept a car / boat / motorcycle over a year. I had more toys than anyone could ever use. My wife at the time got her diamonds and so on. I got a big fat wake up call when Saddam invaded Kuwait. Every business deal I had working just STOPPED. Months of work (self employed) just stopped. The companies I was dealing with did not know "what is next" and just froze everything. I made a total u-turn and started liking the stuff I already had. Shredded every single credit card and have had none since. I learned then things could change FAST. I've kept a low profile ever since and boy ........ good thing I did too. The exporting of American manufacturing all but killed my entire industry over the last couple of years (actually longer). THEN ........ then the world got crashed and it is far far far from over. People blamed it on the mortgages - that is not what started it but ........ what brought it to the news. So OP ......... I can also claim low maintenance but ....... also very little debt (owe under 25k on my house that is it). I can't afford a fancy girlfriend these days but ..... can take care of myself lol. ------- I see most people took "maintenance" the other direction - I took it as the OP was taking it.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

The Ex Posted: 11/13/2009 10:10:30 AM
Personally - I don't think people change all that much. I don't think I've changed much over the last many years. I don't think anyone I know has changed much. I don't know your guy OP but - I've lived a long time and never have seen anyone change much. I think a person that has reached around 20 years old - is pretty much the person they are always going to be. There no doubt are some exceptions but - I would guess exceptions are very rare.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

single mom's pressured into lesbian sex Posted: 11/13/2009 9:06:58 AM
OP ...... just because us guys like doing the same thing to females that lesbians do ......... Don't really make us a lesbian so ...... stop worrying about being a closet lesbian.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 45 (view)

She dumped me so why does she still want to see me? Posted: 11/13/2009 8:53:06 AM
My wife of seventeen years (ex) did the same thing and I let her do it for three years. In her case she still wanted the sex. I have no idea why - she is good looking and I am sure has no problem getting all the sex she wants. It took me three long years to finally face the facts. I finally killed the contact. OP just let her go. If she won't go on her own - just kill it off. --------------- I talked to her a year ago. She would still be up for dating me (sex). I passed. I'm not interested in being some gal's B.O.B that don't require batteries.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Her Best Friend Posted: 11/13/2009 5:23:32 AM
"a woman you met on here didn't click" "didn't click" Why would either side care what the other one did? ------------- If the first gal WAS interested but the guy was not interested. Sure she could feel a bit miffed but - she would need to understand real life. If she took the high road - and her friend and the guy did click ...... she should bite her lip and wish them well.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 14 (view)

He has a dysfunction and she has the hots for other men. Posted: 11/12/2009 5:04:35 PM
Us guys would need naked pictures of her ....... You know - to give you more accurate advice to ....... umm give to her.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

Hmmm what to make of this.....(guy at work) Posted: 11/12/2009 1:16:13 PM
No help for you op .... other than the all important eye to eye (keep doing that - if he don't "get it" - that is his problem). BUT ..... This reminds me to chew my daughter out. Well step-daughter (I have two step daughters). The younger one (27) is a full blown nurse and moving up the ladder fast at the hospital she works at. She has the gaul to tell me "you would not like any of them dad". She is around a zillion nurses and has never "fixed me up". I like nurses - they know that life is too short for bullchit lol. The other one (30) has never fixed me up either. I think they are both wondering what their mom would think. ---------- OP -------- just keep up the eye contact. That works and has always worked even back in the 1800s when I was a kid.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

Can you go from good time girl to long time girl? Posted: 11/12/2009 10:37:36 AM
Unless there is a good reason for the sex ... to me it is a big negative. That is the number 1 reason I stopped trying to date. Too much and too easy sex (these days) for no good reason. Two of the girls I had not even touched - no hungs - no kisses - no nothing and they STILL led the date right to the sex. WHY? Flip side. A gal that knew us both - got me and my ex-wife talking on the phone. Our first date - we went to a nice dance club. We spent a couple of hours ... umm dancing (rubbing around on each other) and started getting heated up. We ended up doing the scene from 9 1/2 weeks. Cloths were strewn from the car to the front door of my place. There was a reason we had sex. We were both heated up so dang much - if we had not of .... there is a good chance we would have bursted into flames. That was more logical - there was a reason. Twenty years later - I ran into all this crap these days - sex for no good reason. -------- OP .... was there a good reason for the sex? Were you both on fire? Or ..... sex just for the heck of it? ------- "Can you go from good time girl to long time girl?" Not very likely (unless there was a VERY good reason for the sex)

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

Should I Call The Ex? Posted: 11/11/2009 7:49:26 PM
The blunt version of "no". As lonely as I am (gave up dating - too much casual sex - yeah I know). As horny as I might be. I keep my fingers off the telephone. AND ........... I know FOR SURE she would be up for it. She told me she would. ----------------- OP do you really need the 5,000 reason NOT to call her?

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 15 (view)

Tell him how I feel or shut my pie hole? Posted: 11/11/2009 7:30:06 PM
Op if you were a guy - I would say "ARE YOU NUTS?". But since you are female - I will say .... ARE YOU NUTS? Back off buddy (buddy-ette) - what is up with your self-destructive tendencies? Oh I forgot ...... you're not even sure ..... blah blah blah (and the world IS flat). YES you are sure and you are headed for a train wreck. ----------- I personally would never (never ever) hang around a gal - that I wanted for a girlfriend as ..... JUST a friend. But then again - I seldom stick needles in my eyes either. ------------- OP stop bullchitting yourself and back away.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

The betrayal of my ex haunts me.... Posted: 11/11/2009 1:26:43 PM
You have to let it go Charlie. When my long time wife (now ex) unexpectedly took off ..... I was in the same boat. I dove head first into rebuilding my self confidence / pride / esteem / feelings of worth. I went at it very deep. To the tune of months and it did help. There are many e-books available. I made databases of quotes that changed every 30 seconds. Databases of thoughts (used for screen savers) that changed and many other things. There is a great deal of logic to help rebuilding our ..... self There are some others - good ideas from the likes of ....... Brian Tracy Anthony Robbins Caroline Myss (esp good for females) Dale Carnegie Deepak Chopra Denis Waitley James Allen (a man thinketh) Jim Rohn Joseph Campbell Paul McKeena Paul Scheele Robert Kiyosaki SCWL (some good subliminals) Waitley also has some good ones Stephen Covey You can find a nice selection of quotes at Brainy Quotes http://www.brainyquote.com

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 13 (view)

EX'S... wtf man??? Why is this so flippin hard? Posted: 11/11/2009 8:58:15 AM
OP if you were a little older ...... I would ask you her name because .......... She sounds like my ex-wife. After being married seventeen years she up and split. THEN went all buddy buddy - would come over and we would end up in bed. I finally stopped picking up the phone, when she called. Six years later ...... it would be the EXACT SAME THING. ------------ Your problem is the same problem I have. She still likes me but wants to be ........... 1. She want to live where she grew up - she moved 2 blocks from her parents - sisters - her work place and thinks my house is in bum-f@ck. 2. She wants to keep her options open. ------------ OP - you are going to have to be the one that KILLS ALL CONTACT. As tempting as it is .......... I keep my fingers off the phone. I don't want a fwb ........ period - her or anyone else. ---------- Oh yeah ... don't buy into the "I love you" chit ........... mine still says the same thing too.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 6 (view)

you tell me....... Posted: 11/11/2009 8:32:33 AM
Just because a guy has a girlfriend (or wife even) - that does not make him blind. The same goes for gals. Years ago me and my wife were on vacation with another couple. A famous male movie star was on the same flight (island hop in Hawaii). When we landed BOTH WIVES - knocked everyone out of the way getting to the guy. Both wives were good looking females and the male actor (was not blind) and helped them get everyone else out of their way (to him). The entire crowd was pushed back by security ....... except both of our wives. ----- If that guy had ask either of them (or both of them) up to his room ....... THEY BOTH WOULD HAVE WENT. All that was right in the face of me and the other guy. Who is kidding who .... it is not just guys.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 18 (view)

Do i move on and settle for 2nd best? Posted: 11/11/2009 8:23:39 AM
OP I think you should start backing your mind out. But don't think of things like 2nd best. That entire think - would be (or is) being unfair to whomever. If you have some guy in second place - wish him well and let him go also. Clear your mind of guy 1 - leave guy 2 alone so he can be #1 to some gal. Get them all out of your nOOdle ........ then start again. -------------- You are talking about settling for #2. ANY FORM of settling is being unfair to the other person. You either go in at 100% or stay out.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 20 (view)

Red Flags Or Blown Out Of Proportion Posted: 11/10/2009 7:52:14 PM
He is not being considerate and ....... It will just get worse. (know it all comes to mind)

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

I can get addicted to you what is he saying? Posted: 11/10/2009 7:47:40 PM
That is just his way of saying he likes you ..... more than like but skating the other L word. He could be fishing (oh POF) or phishing for you to say something similar (similar meaning). Either way - he is just telling you something positive from his side.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

Getting on really well, then nothing! Posted: 11/10/2009 2:28:43 PM
It happens all the time. Back when I was "trying" .... it happened all the time. Most will agree - it happens very often.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 12 (view)

Nice guys vs. Players. How do I tell the difference? Posted: 11/10/2009 8:25:42 AM
OP regarding pictures ...... One picture that gives the guys an idea of your face. One picture that you would give your aunt, that shows a full body shot. ---------- If that is not good enough for some guy - he can go pizz up a rope.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

How to ask the right questions.... What do i do now? Posted: 11/10/2009 8:18:28 AM
I would say ..... If either side has to wonder - it is not a true two way match. ---------- Even as old as I am - I never ever wondered, I always knew where I stood with a gal. I also knew it very fast. I was married most of my life but even before that ........ If it is a real two way match - both sides know what is at stake. Both sides drop any bullchit. Both sides make sure the other person knows ..... they are "in". ---------- OP from what you said, to me it is not a full on two way match. It is lopsided. Lopsided is no fun. Lopsided is not lasting. He is sort of - kind of - settling >>> for now. --------- "How to ask the right questions" You don't need to ask any questions. The answer is in his actions.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

Rejected me, but is insisting on friendship... Posted: 11/9/2009 9:07:16 PM
If it was me - I would wish her well (and mean it) and kill all contact. I've never ever understood why in the world, would a guy hang around a gal, as a friend - when he wanted more. That just has to be self-destructive. Guys should know better ... NO she is not going to EVER actually want more. She may cave and bOink you once or twice but ..... she will never ever be more ------ ever. ------ If it is not a real two way match - right off the bat - it is not real. Someone has settled. The one that settled will always feel they have the upper hand. Who wants to be in a lop-sided relationship?

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

Has anyone gotten counseling.. Posted: 11/9/2009 6:14:59 PM
Sometimes I get too windy. So I will try a short version. 1. Kill all contact with him. My ex-wife (married 17 years) took off then acted like buddy buddy. She would come over and we would end up in bed. KILL ALL CONTACT WITH HIM 2. There are many many self-esteem / pride / confidence e-books to be had. I dove head first into ....... 2a Stop thinking about her and started thinking about me (yourself). YOU ARE NOW THE IMPORTANT PERSON OF THE TWO - HE IS GONE 3. Your life is NOW - stop trying to live in the past or the future - your life is right now.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 20 (view)

What Makes You Want More Than Sex From A Woman -? Posted: 11/9/2009 11:55:06 AM
>>> LIKE The boy/girl stuff is a must. Not saying fast/early sex but the "oh my" factor. But like is the keeper. Really liking someone as a fellow human (other gender but still fellow human). Like is a total must have for anything lasting. My ex- took off (after 17 years) but two things she can not totally forget. 1. she likes me - always did always will 2. she likes sex with me - always did always will She would be my fwb if I was up for it - but I am not. Like is the big deal. Both of her two daughters still "like" me (and I them) still call me dad (and mean it) all these years later. OP the magic word is like. The boy/girl "oh my" has to be there but if like - ongoing - real - no rationalization is not there - it will crash and burn sooner or later.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

How do I move from a one-night-stand girl? Posted: 11/8/2009 7:32:52 PM
Just STOP it. Respect yourself and others will start respecting you. You're not alone OP. After being married most of my life - I ran smack dap into "todays bullchit". It seemed everyone was screwing everyone else. It was just sick. I started to think gals do that because guys expect it. Guys expect it because gals KEEP DOING IT. Someone has to stop the spiral. I just stopped trying to date - it was nothing but sex. OP - you can just stop it. If a guy gets pushy - tell him to buzz off and mean it. girls girls girls ........ sex will NOT make a guy more interested - sex will not help the potential relationship along. If the guy is not all that interested - sex will not make him more interested. Just stop it. Look for a guy that is interested in YOU (not only your "stuff"). I was NOT impressed with gals that got me naked right off the bat ....... at all.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 28 (view)

lonley Posted: 11/8/2009 12:29:22 PM
This made me laugh ComicFan (Msg: 8) I went with the new Playstation 3 lol. I had 40 years of a female in my life .......... now video games lol. (hey some of the chicks in Midnight Club or the Grand Theft Auto games .......... oh baby lol) ----------- I've been trying to "eject" one of those video game gals from my PS3. So far no luck but ...... I did get one ejected from my PSP. She jumped right out - landed on the carpet - started running around on the floor (she was only about two inches tall) .............. sadly ........... the cat got her lol.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 7 (view)

Do you often feel alienated wherever you go? Posted: 11/8/2009 12:08:08 PM
It must be a "guy thing" I also started making my own pizza (when I got dumped). I was getting very good at making thin crust. THEN ..... duh I found out how simple it was to use the large tortillas. I felt cheated lol - why go to all that trouble making my own thin crust. I did that for a bit and just stopped it all together. But I did stay very creative on my cooking. THEN ...... I even got off of that kick and currently in a total cooking rut. Same ole same ole. ----------- "feel alienated wherever you go?" At first I went to some clubs and ....... that was the same old crap. Gals with 50 layers of makeup (or so young I felt silly gawking at them) and guys with wigs trying to impress the gals with 50 layers of makeup. Mostly the gals (with all the makeup) were asking the guys (with the wigs) for their financial statements before yes or no to a dance. I got sick of that real quick. I also got sick of all the fast and yucky sex out there these days. THEN I started taking my motorcycle out and "people watching". Yes mostly girl watching and ......... while I liked seeing the *happy couples - I still felt totally alone in the world. I still feel totally alone in the world but ......... I got use to it and don't really mind it much anymore.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 81 (view)

How do you get over someone? Posted: 11/8/2009 11:53:44 AM
A few things I did when my wife of 17 years - up and split. 1. got rid of everything of hers including all the dishes and flat ware - replaced with MY STUFF. 2. got rid of every single thing she had "decorated with" 3. got myself into the study of self esteem - self confidence I did a great deal of work regarding the self - pride/esteem/confidence. There is much much logical information available. Lots of ebooks and so on. I got very very deep into it. I made pictures of the thoughts that changed right on my desktop. I actually used a separate computer (laptop) sitting beside this desk computer and the pictures/messages changed every 60 seconds. Here is a few people - there are others Brian Tracy Anthony Robbins Caroline Myss (esp good for females) Dale Carnegie Deepak Chopra Denis Waitley James Allen (a man thinketh) Jim Rohn Joseph Campbell Paul McKeena Paul Scheele Robert Kiyosaki SCWL (some good subliminals) Waitley also has some good ones Stephen Covey You can find a nice selection of quotes at Brainy Quotes http://www.brainyquote.com ----- There is also an entire "think" regarding Let it go Just type "let it go" into google

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

getting to know a guy in class Posted: 11/7/2009 11:00:56 PM
Ask him to go down the the malt shop with you. Or check out that new coffee shop or or or. "Hey Jim - I've been wanting a malt for about a week now. How about going over to ......... sometime - my treat" Then just stop talking and look him right in the eyes. You will be able to tell a good deal by his answer and demeanor.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 13 (view)

How do you let a guy know you are interested? Posted: 11/7/2009 10:48:30 PM
What she said ^^^ Also look at him right in the eyes. Or "I'm thinking is about time for a nice kiss" As soon as he gets over the shock ....... you'll be all set for a smooch.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 17 (view)

Is he married??? Posted: 11/7/2009 10:43:56 PM
reverse lookup the home number here ..... http://anywho.com/ It may or may not tell you something. If you also see Linda .......... Just for kicks ask him his sister's name. Personally why would someone care of the sister gets anal? What in the world would his sister matter in HIS life. Sounds phishy or POF-ey or actually more along the BS line.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 16 (view)

On the Cusp! Posted: 11/7/2009 4:27:19 PM
"either you like me or you don't" I like to think of that a bit different. It is none of my business, what others think of me. ------------------------- I also carry that thinking and have for years to - "it is none of my business what others think/do about anything". That is why I don't get in pizzing matches on the internet or much of anywhere else. Unless someone tries to make it my business - I just mostly ignore what others think/do. It is just none of my business.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 1387 (view)

So you want a second chance? Posted: 11/7/2009 9:05:50 AM
Relationships should (and need to) be equal. Both sides need to be totally - counting their blessings to have the other in their life. It is 11:00 am on Saturday. I could pick up the phone and have my ex-wife out on a "date" ...... if not today, within 2 or 3 days at the most. We would just end up in bed. Since I have no interest in a FWB .... I don't pick up the phone. She just up and dumped me six years ago - total shock. Both of her daughters that we had just raised (adults by then) were also totally shocked. After being married to her for 17 years and three more years of >>> bed (she would just come over). I finally stopped picking up the phone when she called. (read the first line again) She would always feel she had the upper hand. The main thought in this thread is ... KILL THE CONTACT. Personally I will never (never ever) be lonely enough to knowingly be in a lop sided relationship ........... never. If they did it once ..................

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 10 (view)

Any advice? Posted: 11/6/2009 10:03:18 PM
If I was interested in a gal, a gal that started the "friends jabber" ......... I would wish her well (and mean it) and never get around her again. ----------- Trying to be friends with someone you would like more - is totally self destructive. Why do that to yourself. -------- My advice OP .......... wish her well and forget her.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 47 (view)

Friend vs. Lover? Posted: 11/6/2009 2:36:54 PM
Some will dispute what I think. They will dispute it because there have been cases where two friends became a couple but .... From minute one - a potential boy/girl match is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Totally different than a potential friendship match. Sorrry kids - the "friendship" part comes after "oh my - I want THAT". I am not talking about fast (early) sex. If it is a match the sex will happen and it makes no difference when. I am talking about boy/girl thinking. Viewing each other as a potential boy/girl match NOT a friend match. Yes - you better like each other soon, very soon and BECOME friends ..... but that is after the boy/girl thinking/desires. ------------- Attempt to prove me wrong all you want. The boy/girl relationship (potential) is first. Everything else (friends you better be) comes after. ------------- Personally I have never been surprised. If I was after her "stuff" - I knew it from the first minute. If I was after her and her stuff - I also knew that from the first minute.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 20 (view)

Shaving or trimming your privates at our age? Posted: 11/4/2009 8:01:31 AM
I say - leave it to the young ones. The first bald beaver I saw (on a 40 something gal) - I said to myself ....... 1. how silly 2. I guess she is ready for action - at all times - with all guys. Besides - I found out how to find it years ago. That was long before the shave it days so ........ I need the hair for navigational purposes.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

is it wrong to want revenge?? Posted: 11/3/2009 7:35:29 PM
Spending time plotting revenge - he wins. Forgetting all about it and living your life - you win. Take the high road.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

The Love of My Life is Gone Forever Posted: 11/3/2009 7:29:39 PM
I never EVER read anything that long (here on POF) but .... I read the entire thing. I think I read it all because it was written well. 1. People do strange things sometimes. My wife of 17 years dumped me right out of the blue. 2. Yes OP - you do seem like you could be an azzhat. Trying to box her in - trip her up, while in heated discussions what in the world do you think that was doing? It was reinforcing your azzhat-ness over and over and over. Dealing with a loved on is NO TIME for your WIN AT ALL COST. There is no winner in an argument.

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 4 (view)

Is it possible to die from loneliness? Or from a broken heart? Posted: 11/3/2009 7:10:51 PM
WHAT ......... OP you look cute as a button. Just pick up that bottom lip and smile. I was married most of my life and ...... well - will no doubt be totally alone from here on out. BUT YOU ........ you are a youngin and have lots of time to find your guy. Go look in the mirror. Pretend you are talking to some guy and say "you lucky dog".

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 14 (view)

What's wrong with me? Posted: 11/2/2009 1:15:29 PM
OP .... just stop trying to figure out "what is wrong with me". I doubt there is all that much *wrong. There is no more wrong with YOU than with any of us. Just be the most logical being you can be ....... yourself. We are not mean to "line up" line for line with everyone. The sooner we accept that the better. Your special guy is out there. If you two bump into each other - you still won't line up perfect but both of you will kind of dig the differences. Just drop the "what is wrong with me" .......... too much of that makes us all nutz. Like yourself and others will join in. -------- On a hobby site (forums) I visit. Some guy ask "does it make me a nerd if I" ........ My reply was "what is wrong with being a nerd?"

ron9

Joined: 8/10/2004

Msg: 105 (view)

Promiscuity ~~ Pros and Cons Posted: 11/1/2009 1:51:01 PM
Well this is an old thread but ..... I am against it. It is so ...... umm loose out there (these days) that I stopped dating - right after I started. It was just too difficult to ignore the eager females I encountered. There was just no reason for sex and it seemed like it was some kind of mission to them. Like sex was just part of the date - any date any guy. ----------------- That was all peachy when I was a kid. The deal was "heat them up" - listen to the "but I am not that kind of a girl" - saying I realize that and going right back to the heat up job at hand. Not anymore - for me at least. ----------------- BUT ........ If Diane Lane wanted to do me .......... yes I would no doubt cave in.

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