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Thread: Wrong guys, maybe better forum? lol

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

Wrong guys, maybe better forum? lol Posted: 12/18/2009 4:06:06 PM
[ quote] OK, so when I post an upbeat, optimistic thread, it gets INSTANTLY deleted for "pity party" reasons, but THIS is allowed to stand? If this is still up in 12 hours, we know the mods are sexist. No they're not; they always delete mine for the exact same reason, even if my posts are not even about myself. They must hate us for some reason besides our sex!

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Playing hard to get or uninterested. Posted: 12/15/2009 9:17:50 PM
Sounds like she just likes the attention more than she actually wants to date you. Or else she's just playing very silly, confusing games that would just turn me off, frankly.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl... Posted: 12/15/2009 7:06:00 PM
I don't think me being with another woman and him being with another woman are the same thing. I think him being with another MAN would be the same thing. With heterosexual hook-ups outside the relationship, I think that brings up a lot of insecurity issues for people because they compare themselves to the person. With the opposite sex, it's just a totally different desire that he could never be suspected to fulfill. Then again, he might have a desire to be with a black woman, for example, that I could never be suspected to fulfill, but that still wouldn't make it okay in my eyes. In fact, I wouldn't be okay with him hooking up with another male or female. If he hooked up with another guy, I'd think he's just really gay and doesn't even know it yet. With a girl, it seems more like I can genuinely be interested in both. What's up with that... is there something to that, or am I just a product of social norms conditioning me to believe b.s.? I guess the bottom line is that if I wouldn't be okay with him hooking up with a man or a woman, I should be expected to do the same. It's weird because when I'm in love, I have no desire to hook up with another man at all. I barely even look at them. But I still have just as strong a desire to be with another woman. It's not a constant thought and I don't feel unsatisfied at all, in fact last night he ravaged me in a way that I have never been before and fulfilled some fantasies for me! But I do still fantasize about women from time to time, in fact I can't masturbate without a woman in the picture. It's all very confusing.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 37 (view)

Virgin for a stupid reason. Posted: 12/15/2009 4:24:35 PM
I was JUST going to say, do you have OCD? Common OCD symptoms come in the form of irrational fears like that, be it fears that they are going to hit someone with their car, hurt an animal, etc. A lot of them relate to medical stuff and diseases. Sounds like it's an obsessional fear if you're a virgin because of it. Maybe you can date someone for awhile and refrain from having sex, and then ask her to get tested. Most women are on the pill too and the chances of her getting pregnant on the pill are practically zero. I bet you could learn to relax in a committed relationship, and I'm sure many women would be flattered and delighted and refreshed to wait for you to have sex, considering most guys want it immediately.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl... Posted: 12/15/2009 4:20:19 PM
Can someone PLEASE TELL ME why my post is "trolling" or "attention seeking?" Please explain this to me. My posts ALWAYS get deleted for this and I don't understand why my posts are trolling or attention seeking at all. I have valid questions. I think I have a personal enemy.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

i've been treated like garbage, need some help Posted: 12/15/2009 4:19:00 PM
"She was only doing cocaine sometimes"? That's more than too much, especially if she was stealing money. Coke's different from a little beer or weed every once in awhile... I'm curious, did you tell her why you left or did you just leave without a word? She might be getting guys to send you harassing messages because she needs closure and is trying to get your attention. I would just tell her that you found out from an undisclosed, trustworthy source that she was cheating, and you can't handle the addictions anymore. I would not mention that you stole her passwords... she will just turn that all around on you.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 263 (view)

Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people? Posted: 12/15/2009 3:54:48 PM
What ya don't know, don't hurt ya. That's b.s. Sometimes, what you don't know can hurt you.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 261 (view)

Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people? Posted: 12/15/2009 3:47:49 PM
yes, I would be really upset. It almost seems like "gateway sex" - I bet if a guy did that, he'd be much more likely to eventually cheat in real life, having been desensitized to the whole idea. Just a theory

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 56 (view)

I love large breasts, am I wrong for asking? Posted: 12/15/2009 3:41:53 PM
That's true highflyingadored... now OP, I haven't even looked at your profile and for all I know you could be Johnny Depp, but it really annoys me when unattractive to average guys who are bald and out of shape and pushing 50 have all these high standards. I saw one of this exact description the other day who was looking to only date a woman who has black hair and blue eyes only, is in good shape, under 30, and has large breasts, oh and she must have long hair. It's like... you should be grateful for whatever you get Bubba... I don't know if they're deluded or maybe they're just rich so they can "afford" to be very choosey with women... I also don't get why men have these long lists of physical characteristics they're looking for and then throw in some personality traits they want, almost as an afterthought. The way I look at it, if you're in a serious relationship with someone, you are going to be spending a ton of time with that person... how can personality and how much fun you have together NOT be the MOST important thing by far when it comes to being in a relationship with them? Some hot person that you don't really like is going to get old REAL fast. Why don't people get these things?

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

First kiss what date? Posted: 12/15/2009 3:35:23 PM
That's true callmeken. I think divorce is a common side effect of people's obsession with perfection these days. When relationships get ordinary or boring or calm, a common side effect of real intimacy, people just think "ohhp no spark, we must not be right for each other". The dumbazzes don't realize that that happens in EVERY relationship, that kind of excitement ALWAYS fades, and they're just chasing something that won't last with anyone. It's sad, really. and stupid.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 59 (view)

When is keeping your a$$ in line not controlling? Posted: 12/15/2009 3:28:09 PM
You're just missing him because you were excited about him and probably projected a future with him and he filled up an empty space in your life. It's normal to miss people, even when they're bad for us. It is NOT a sign that you should be with him though, it just means you should start dating other people or get closer to friends and family right now. Trust me, he has all the red flags of an abusive controller and everyone here can't be wrong... don't give in! Just replace that hole with someone who isn't crazy.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 54 (view)

I love large breasts, am I wrong for asking? Posted: 12/15/2009 3:25:32 PM
Hey man, you didn't call him a man-whore for liking big breasts, why are women who like big peckers sluts??? Sounds like someone is a little jealous... OP, I wouldn't put that in my profile. It makes you look shallow. I never write/respond to guys who have lists of physical characteristics they prefer in their profile. This one guy had this long list of what he DIDN'T want - no blondes, no freckles, no fat here or no fat there. Yet he didn't say anything about what sort of personality he wanted in a woman, so I just assumed he was a superficial feck. HOWEVER... if you really need a woman with big breasts, then you might as well say so once you start talking to a woman. I think it's fine if that's what you prefer. If she stops talking to you because she's offended and doesn't have huge boobs, well, you weren't going to pursue anything with her anyway, right? If she does have huge boobs, she will probably be flattered. Make sure you tell her why though - if you stop talking to her after seeing her picture, tell her you just prefer huge boobs and it's not that you don't think she's attractive overall or something. I wouldn't really be offended if a guy said that to me, I'd just think well, he has a type and I ain't it. Better than just seeing my pic and bouncing

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl... Posted: 12/15/2009 3:17:21 PM
Oh, anything from kissing to sex... anything sexual

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

if your girlfriend wanted to hook up with a girl... Posted: 12/15/2009 2:58:18 PM
Please do not somehow twist this to be a "pity"or attention-seeking" post, which for some reason all my threads get deleted for and I don't know why... so, would you care guys? Assuming that it was all in the open and no deceit whatsoever was going on of course, would you still be jealous if your girlfriend hooked up with a girl? Would you be jealous, but less jealous than with another guy? or would you just not even care and think it's a totally different deal than her being with another man? They say that men are more jealous creatures because of paternity uncertainty, from an evolutionary perspective, but I don't think so. I am much more jealous than my boyfriend, who wouldn't care if I hooked up with a woman. Wondering what the general consensus is. Oh, and this situation DOES NOT include you. I am referring to hooking up with a woman when you are not around, neither to participate nor to watch. Not into that.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 352 (view)

BBW...Why is it so hard to be full figured?? Posted: 12/14/2009 2:21:14 AM
It's one thing to talk about how some fat people are unhealthy and in denial about the cause of their excess weight, but to say that you enjoy talking about fat people "to get a cheap laugh, because they're an easy target" just plain makes you a bad person, and at least unimaginative. It's especially easy for people without pictures to get cheap laughs at others' appearances when you know there is no similar risk of disapproval. I have never seen so much widespread discrimination as I have towards fat people, especially fat women. People always talk about "fat chicks" like they're less quality people, not worthy of being taken seriously, or just a laughing matter. People seem to be more willing to accept that alcoholics may be quality people with a problem for which they need help, but fat people just need to "get out of the fridge". Like it's an easy, one-time choice for them. People who are morbidly obese are just straight up addicted to food. Food floods the brain with neurotransmitters just like any other drug. When people say they have a "medical condition," they're usually just addicted to food. I'm not saying that all this isn't a problem and that morbidly obese people should just pretend to be happy with their bodies which are very unhealthy, I just find the extreme ANGER that people have towards fat people strange. They make jokes about how they will just eventually be bedridden and die. Yeah, because they have a serious problem and are probably in terrible pain. No need to accept their death with glee. And it's only towards fat people that people have this particular, open hostility. It's probably some rejected part of your own psyche that you hate; otherwise you wouldn't have such an EXTREME, almost obsessive anger and defensiveness towards the issue. It's kind of like that study of a group of half homophobic straight men and half non-homophobic straight men. Upon being shown gay porn, only the homophobic "straight" men got aroused. I feel like people that hate fat people used to be fat or are terrified of getting fat or have really fat parents or something.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 60 (view)

Dating the same sex because your heart was broken Posted: 12/11/2009 2:39:35 PM
Yes I did this!!!! I was convinced all men were liars, cheaters, etc. I had always been physically attracted to women so I convinced myself that I was just really a lesbian. It turned out badly because I ended up dating an actual lesbian, as in she had never been with a guy, while I wasn't even sure if I was gay or not. I ended up really hurting her actually and now she hates me and refuses to speak to me. But it was all the more confusing because the things I didn't like about guys actually really didn't happen with her - she always called when she said she would, always wanted to see me and talk to me, etc. But then I ended up playing the role of "the guy," being the one always just out of reach.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Is he a racist or just sarcastic and rude? Posted: 12/5/2009 10:18:37 PM
Also, if someone says they "just don't like the species," they are clearly extremely racist, not just sarcastic and rude. For one they are flat out saying they don't like a whole group of people, and secondly they are referring to black men as another "species". I wish you could flag these people down and let everyone know who to avoid. People like this make me incredibly angry.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 29 (view)

Is he a racist or just sarcastic and rude? Posted: 12/5/2009 10:14:16 PM
I'm shocked at the amount of people who are racist, publicly, on their profiles, racist. I mention in my profile that I hate Reagan, and some guy messages me today saying "you are probably a left trend liberal and you should really learn what a good democracy is ACTUALLY made of". Then I looked at his profile and it said "I am a walking contradiction. I am conservative, yet not religious and pro-Palestinian, which is a nicer way of saying I don't want or like Jews." The fact that someone thinks that way and actually publicly declares it is beyond me. At least he won't have luck here, not with a woman of value anyway.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

My GF is Juiced what can I do Posted: 12/5/2009 5:16:43 PM
Is it possible that you're just so over-sexed that you're mistaking lust for love? Ding ding ding!

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 68 (view)

The guilt and shame that women are placing on men... Posted: 12/5/2009 2:31:05 PM
"men only think with their weanie" if it weren't for the fact that I am a heterosexual, hot-as-lava-blooded latino, who loves being in bed with what I deem to be an attractive female I would NEVER get near them!!! Oh the irony. Haha! Landra I love your posts! You are strong, confident, and smart as a whip!

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

I don't know if he is serious or just bored with what he has now Posted: 12/5/2009 2:20:30 PM
If he is telling his girlfriend he loves you when he's with her, why wouldn't he do the same to you when he gets bored with that relationship?

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 53 (view)

How to give a good blow job? Posted: 12/5/2009 2:17:44 PM
Well guys, I did it!!! My boyfriend came in my mouth today! I never thought I'd be so excited about saying that... anyway, I think the most helpful tip was the suction one. I used more suction than before and used my hand simultaneously and he got off in about 5 minutes!

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

How to give a good blow job? Posted: 12/4/2009 1:40:15 PM
Well, I talked to him about it. He said he does like me giving him head, the teeth are only an occasional problem, and the only reason he hasn't come is because I usually get horny and just would rather have sex. Then today he tried to get me to go down on him. But we had sex instead cause I really, REALLY wanted to. Then it lasted for 45 seconds but that's another story. Anyway, thanks for the tips still! I will just have to practice and learn to refrain from getting on top of him before he's finished... I never even realized, but I do always do that, but it's also because I can't get into it if I feel like he's not enjoying it, so I'd rather just have sex cause we both enjoy that obviously

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 66 (view)

Would you care if you saw your boyfriend's porn? Posted: 12/4/2009 1:34:28 PM
Thanks everyone. I do feel a bit better now. It still bothers me that he believes the ONLY WAY he can masturbate is to porn. If he doesn't have porn, he won't even masturbate. I told him I thought that was sort of strange, and he said "I don't think guys can masturbate just laying in bed." I beg to differ... it just kind of shows a lack of imagination more than anything. However, after having sex with him today, I think I want him to watch porn, as it lasted under a minute. 3:17 to 3:17. Not that I watch the clock during sex but I happened to see it and then looked to see how long it had been and yes, it was maybe 45 seconds. Very frustrating!!! I feel bad talking to him about it because he gets really embarrassed, poor guy. But it does leave me very unsatisfied... I told him he should masturbate before I come over, and he said then he'd have to lie to me about watching porn. Oh well, I'll take that over 45 second sex!

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

How to give a good blow job? Posted: 12/3/2009 10:53:14 PM
Wow, thanks for all the tips! Everyone keeps saying "ask him," but I'm telling you, I have. He won't. He says it's fine, but I know it's not, cause he has never so much as touched my head or moaned. And then I always stop after a few minutes, cause I get really turned off when he's obviously not enjoying himself. I don't get it, I got my last bf off in 5 minutes with a blow job. Not this one, and I think he's embarrassed to talk about it. He is a little bit bigger, and I DO have a really small mouth. In fact I constantly have little sores on the inside of my cheeks cause my teeth naturally scrape them. Maybe that's the problem. I have to make that granny face to not use my teeth with him. I'll have to get real creative here or just forget it, I guess.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 61 (view)

Brits are ugly and so say all of them............! Posted: 12/3/2009 10:27:22 PM
I used to live in Europe and well, I was kinda slutty at that time. I made it a personal goal to "taste the rainbow" and try to at least kiss people from all different countries. The Brit wasn't the hottest guy in the world, but he was the funniest, and the best in bed!!!! I was sad when we had to part, he made me happy... oh Dominic where are you??? He also had an enormous penis. I don't give a rat's ass about penis size, but he was this skinny, average height dude with an enormous penis.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

How to give a good blow job? Posted: 12/1/2009 7:09:24 PM
I was gonna post on the guys page, then figured there are probably some women here who have been told they are masters at blow jobs, so y'all can answer too. :) Okay, I have gotten guys off before with my mouth, but never with my new bf, and he will never answer me when I ask him what he likes and how I can improve. All he has ever told me is "watch the teeth please!" I tend to have trouble with my teeth scraping. I have noticed that to avoid this, I have to tuck my lips under my teeth, but then I look like Grandma. I also don't really know if I'm supposed to be using suction to make it tighter. I feel like that would be better, but I dunno if I could keep it up, no pun intended. It all makes me kind of exhausted, especially when I feel like he's not even diggin' it that much. So I guess, give me blow job tips, addressing my specific problem areas if you would like!

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 113 (view)

Oral - what do women like and how? Posted: 12/1/2009 7:04:56 PM
I find that the majority of guys aren't that good at oral. Maybe 2 or 3 ever made me go "Wow!" But most can improve vastly with experimentation and a little guidance. They probably do things that their old gf liked and I don't. Of course, I'm no one to point fingers, so to speak. I've been told by more than one person that my teeth get in the way of my bj performance. In fact, I'm going to start a new thread on that presently.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 53 (view)

Would you care if you saw your boyfriend's porn? Posted: 12/1/2009 6:40:40 PM
After a few days rest and contemplation, I don't really care anymore. He told me he looked at porn when we first met and it never bothered me, I think it was just the shock of actually SEEING what he looked at, then the comparisons in my head began, etc. Although I think the porn industry is messed up and I won't get into that, I can see that the issue is mostly due to my own feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. And no, I don't really masturbate when he's not around. Not for any reason other than I'm just not that horny. When I'm not in a relationship, I masturbate more, but when I am getting laid regularly, I don't really need to masturbate, and my sexuality is all wrapped up in one person. I guess it's not right to compare my own sexuality to his, and that's creating my bias. Also, I don't understand why people say "it's either porn or he'll cheat". Guys don't HAVE to look at porn and they don't HAVE to cheat. I guess if he didn't look at porn, he would just masturbate fantasizing about other women he actually knows, which is actually worse now that I think about it. So I guess porn isn't so bad after all.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Would you care if you saw your boyfriend's porn? Posted: 11/29/2009 11:41:08 PM
I really don't buy all that "guys are just visual creatures" crap. I mean, I know it's true, but I think the real issue here is that I know he just finds the women in porn more attractive than me and would rather have sex with them than me. Sure he likes me and likes having sex with me, but I obviously am not enough for him sexually/attractiveness-wise or he wouldn't still have porn. We have sex twice a day and he still looks at porn, so obviously I am not meeting his needs. Meanwhile, I don't even think about other men sexually, at all. Not because I think it's "immoral," just naturally when I am really into someone, my sexual cravings for other people dissipate. It really makes me sad. I wish I could be like the majority of women on here and have an open mind about it and even participate in it with my boyfriend, that would be so much easier, but I can't help my feelings. He also mentioned one time that there was some girl at a party that propositioned him for bathroom sex. He said she was bleached-blonde, lots of make-up, "gorgeous". He wanted to but then said no when she started talking cause she was really annoying. So I guess there's a disconnect between what he apparently finds attractive - fakey, like the girls in the porn - and who he actually wants to be with (me). I don't think I can satisfy him in both ways, because I will never be...porn-starish. I'm just not. I can only have sex at this point with someone I really care about.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Would you care if you saw your boyfriend's porn? Posted: 11/29/2009 10:15:18 PM
CZMyles, yes I do feel jealous and threatened, but I don't believe that "he wouldn't watch porn if he really loved me/was right for me," but I do kind of believe "he wouldn't watch porn if I was enough for him sexually/more attractive". I realize it's kind of irrational, but it's how I feel. I know most men would if they could, and that's what bothers me. If I could, I wouldn't, in fact it would make me disgusted with humanity. I wish I could be more light-hearted about it all and say "oh, boys will be boys!' but for some reason I have strong feelings of jealousy, disgust, and anger. I kind of wish I was a lesbian. I actually tried that. Oddly enough, didn't work.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 78 (view)

upper hand in a relationship. what is your opinion Posted: 11/29/2009 9:56:06 PM
The person who is less dependent on the other person has more control in a relationship naturally. The person who has more control in the relationship is the one who has more and higher quality options outside the relationship. This is what I learned in my psych class, and I think there's definitely something to it. Usually, people are with others in their same "league," so this can be very subtle. However, I've noticed certain types of people tend to date "under" them, so maybe it's a way of maintaining dominance, thus eliminating fear of being hurt. By "under them," I mean less attractive, intelligent, less charming. Not the same thing as overall value as a human being.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 93 (view)

High maintenance woman Posted: 11/29/2009 9:11:49 PM
Cinsav, it sounds like your "high-maintenance" woman/women are women with borderline personality disorder!

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 88 (view)

rape/molestation victims and dating..... Posted: 11/29/2009 8:52:19 PM
Then there are certain individuals, who have had some unfortunate experiences, and yet, I suspect that these individuals, would very likely have been difficult individuals to deal with, even if the the rape, molestation or abuse had not happened. Unfortunately, now these people believe that they can pull out the "I have been abused" card for every bad decison or misfortune that comes their way. The biggest problem with this mind set, is that the card becomes rather old, when it is over played. Perhaps an individual in this situation, should come up with a better set of playing cards. For example, being honest and true to yourself. Kohavah This really got me fired up. I definitely understand that some people are chronic victims and blame all their actions on being so wronged by the world. HOWEVER, to say that most people that get raped are individuals that would have been "difficult individuals to deal with" anyway is really curious to me. What do you mean by that? In what way are they "difficult individuals"? That's classic blame-the-victim judgment and I find it quite unwarranted and insensitive. I do understand what you mean about people who play the victim card. I never pull out "I was raped" as an excuse for anything. I know how uncomfortable that would make people feel and it doesn't really affect most of my behavior now anyway, I don't think. To other people who have been through this, I have noticed that the only thing that has changed about my personality since that happened is that I have nightmares and I am just more needy in a relationship. I feel like I need more reassurance and feel kind of empty after sex unless we spoon for a decade. Does anyone else deal with that? I feel like talking to my partner about it would be pretty awkward - "hey, I was raped so I get sad after sex sometimes. Will you spoon me for longer?" Probably he would say okay, but be secretly weirded out. Understandable.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Would you care if you saw your boyfriend's porn? Posted: 11/29/2009 8:37:31 PM
Well, I do trust that he won't ACTUALLY cheat, I think I'm just worried that he secretly wants to. He's a good guy and I would be very surprised if he cheated on me. I just hate thinking that I'm not "enough". Though when we're together, which is a few times a week, we always have sex, at least every day. I don't know how much more sex he could be having. I guess it's my own self-esteem, not feeling "good enough," but there is always better and more and more, so how could anyone ever be enough? I think I believe that men secretly are not ever satisfied with monogamy. I guess I'm equating the quality of our relationship to sex when I shouldn't. We've gotten closer lately emotionally and I shouldn't mess that up with this silliness.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Would you care if you saw your boyfriend's porn? Posted: 11/29/2009 8:08:02 PM
My BF and I were watching a movie, and when it was over I tried the back button, thinking it was a file of just regular movies, but I accidentally saw a video called "Best Threesome Ever" and saw what the girls looked like in the freeze frame. (I only am giving this background to make it clear that I wasn't snooping. I did that in a past relationship - bad news). I know he watches/has watched porn and I never really cared much/thought about it, but for some reason when I actually saw what he looks at, I felt nauseous and my heart started beating super fast. I said "ohhhhh ewww your porn!" and he said "i could have told you where the movies were!" Then I went outside, chain smoked and came back. He said "Are you upset by that? Don't be, it's old and I just downloaded a bunch of stuff and haven't watched it in forever". I guess I'm just surprised that I care so much. I think what bothered me the most is the fact that it was a threesome - I am really anti-threesome, not for other people, but definitely when I'm in a relationship. I'm very territorial and the thought of "sharing" my partner makes me sick, literally. Also, I know that that's something I can never give him, so I'm worried that he'll be forever wanting something he can't get from me and it will lead him to cheat. He made a joke about a threesome once awhile ago (actually about him and a guy that looked like him, oddly) and I told him then how I felt about it and he said that's fine, no threesomes. Haven't talked about it since. Now I feel like I'm denying him something he obviously fantasizes about. Am I overreacting? I realize I am making this personal and it could mean absolutely nothing, but for some reason I'm upset and that surprises me. I got over it today and we had good sex, then I got home and realize I'm not over it and it's bothering me.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

I can only come in one position, and even then, it's not mind-blowing Posted: 11/29/2009 7:59:12 PM
Thanks everyone so much for the help! Wow! I am learning a lot and also getting turned on reading about this stuff! Phew! I thought I couldn't get horny anymore... Well, the good news is that I DID have a mind-blowing orgasm today! I mean, it was interminable! Yes, it was on top, but he really doesn't seem to care. The more I enjoy myself, the more he does. I figured out what the problem was partially, and that was - NOT ENOUGH FOREPLAY!!! We just rolled around for an hour today before we actually had sex and it was awesome. He is very good at, well, dealing with my errogenous zones (i.e. nipples and neck!) and he went down on me too and then it was much better sex. I don't wanna knock on my partner at all, but he is a few years younger than me and not very experienced sexually. He has never had a LTR so he's had a lot of first and only time romps. He really does make me feel good and the only thing that bothers me about this is that, unless we just did it an hour ago, he comes REALLY fast... like within a couple minutes. If we have sex for the first time in a couple days, it's pretty much impossible for him to last over five minutes. He tries to pull out and slow me down and cool off but he really isn't very good at controlling it. I always just say "it's okay sweetie" cause he gets kind of embarrassed and starts apologizing, but truthfully, it is a little frustrating.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 347 (view)

Guys that want no strings attached Posted: 11/28/2009 3:28:12 AM
The only time sex without love is ugly is if there is a lack of communication or manipulation. It's very ugly when Tina really likes Chad, and Chad knows this and has sex with Tina, knowing full well that it's not going anywhere. Chad's excuse might be "well she never told me she had feelings for me," but I do think people in this situation are usually subtly aware of the dynamics and should be more responsible with communication and stating their intentions. That goes for Tina too, technically. I tend to think women probably don't ask a lot because they might be afraid of the answer, and are secretly hoping that after sex, he will change his mind. Men don't talk because they are afraid of not getting the sex. It can be reversed, as always. If both people know that it's just sex, that's fine. It just gets tricky because there are brain chemicals released after orgasm that bond you to a person, oxytocin I believe it is, the same chemical released during breast-feeding. So people SAY "this is just sex", but it can change. I tend to think that whoever the person is that knows she is liked more than she likes the other person has more of the responsibility to speak up. It can be either sex. I admit it's totally biased, but I just think it's wrong that people abuse the power they subtly know they have in a relationship. I was leading on men too, not with sex but in continuing to talk to them and "be their friend" after I had a boyfriend. I genuinely believed that I could be friends with a guy, knowing that he liked me, or at least had liked me or wanted to have sex with me or something, whilst having a boyfriend. I was shocked to learn that they actually had no intention of being my friend, they had an intention of changing my mind and convincing me over time to dump my boyfriend. Now I know this, and I only have male friends that have no interest in me sexually, are in a relationship, etc. That was when I learned to be more assertive.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 272 (view)

IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN? Posted: 11/28/2009 2:59:31 AM
I met my boyfriend by stealing his name from the roll in my college class and facebook messaging him. That's not chasing, that's borderline stalking. If he rejected me, it would be humiliating, and boy did I search for an "unsend" option. Then, we started hanging out and now we've been together for a couple months. I think it all just comes down to whether or not you like each other and there is mutual attraction. I don't think it has anything to do with who initiated it if the feeling is mutual.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 376 (view)

Do women like men who like Feet? Posted: 11/28/2009 2:51:52 AM
French pedi's, a clear coat, or natural looks best if a lady has really nice natural nails. French pedi's look best with a thin painted stripe of off white or egg shell white, not beaming pure white or too thick or caked on looking. I think a lot of guys don't like French pedi's because they weren't done right. I didn't think anyone really noticed/thought about people's fingernails this much. Not even women. I certainly don't give a shit, but to each his own. I wonder if feet fetishists are that way by nature or nurture or both.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 92 (view)

Silent Sex Posted: 11/28/2009 1:37:54 AM
Yeah, I worry that guys don't get that the women are lying, and not on their backs. Getting pounded 100 mph by a fourteen inch penis is not pleasurable to a vagina, I don't care what anyone says.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

I can only come in one position, and even then, it's not mind-blowing Posted: 11/28/2009 1:36:23 AM
Sorry, I talk too much. My problem is that that is the ONLY position that I like, and I don't want to be sexually boring.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 55 (view)

Kissing....... Posted: 11/28/2009 12:28:40 AM
I always say this about the GUYS!!! I love kissing so much! Of course, a bad kiss is REALLY bad, but when you have good kissing chemistry, man, I can do it for hours. In relationships, I've noticed that couples always stop these make-out sessions eventually, as they get used to kissing each other, which is really sad. I also hate it when a boyfriend stops kissing during sex. My current boyfriend always kisses me during sex still and that's very important to me! Not the whole time of course, but a lot of people don't even think about it, kissing is just the precursor to getting their rocks off and becomes unimportant after the clothes come off. So sad!

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 62 (view)

stop dating now! Posted: 11/28/2009 12:25:28 AM
Is this a joke? God. This reminds me of Nietzsche and why he described us as just cogs in a wheel.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 90 (view)

Silent Sex Posted: 11/28/2009 12:22:01 AM
Can it be like a fake it til you make it sort of situation? I'm not promoting you not be yourself, but could you try to let out a little sigh or moan every once in awhile? I don't like it when people are silent simply because I worry they aren't enjoying themselves enough. It doesn't have to be showy or loud or anything. I feel like porn is ruining sex, because people see that and think sex is supposed to be like that and don't realize that the girls are faking it, every minute of it

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 76 (view)

rape/molestation victims and dating..... Posted: 11/28/2009 12:11:12 AM
I was raped by a stranger in July. My boyfriend knows, but we've never really talked about it, and it does seem to make him uncomfortable. It does affect our sex life just in that I'm hypersensitive to any signs that I'm being taken advantage of, sometimes feel really empty and depressed afterwards, and basically have to be held and coddled afterwards to feel "okay". It has only been four months so I don't know if it's even "sunk in" yet, as I rarely think about it except in my sleep (nightmares). I do think people shy away from people with this issue and I would only tell someone I really trust. As far as which is worse, family member or stranger, I can't really say because I have never been molested by a family member. A stranger was scary in that I didn't know if he was going to kill me or not too, but incest comes with a whole other set of serious messed up problems.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

I can only come in one position, and even then, it's not mind-blowing Posted: 11/28/2009 12:01:39 AM
I can never come in any sexual position except on top. I've only been dating my boyfriend a couple months, and I feel like I'm already getting sexually boring. We may start out in other positions, but I always eventually just roll him on over... we both know it's coming, so to speak. He says no, he loves it, he can last longer when I'm on top, etc. but I dunno, I feel like we're starting to have our moves down pat and that's that. But whenever I try to spice it up, really no other positions feel that great. It's ok, but just kinda eh, and definitely no orgasmic possibilities. Especially doggy style, that just hurts for me. It's not like we have jack rabbit sex either, and it's not just my boyfriend, it's everyone I've been with, I think I have a tilted cervix, says the OBGYN... as far as the BIG O, the kind that makes us women shake like we're having a seizure and it almost feels like electricity is shooting down your legs into your feet... or maybe that's just me... anyway, I've only ever had this with myself, never during sex. Sex is always nice and I love feeling close to my man, but purely on a physical level, masturbation is much better. Does anyone have this similar problem and have any tips? I guess by "similar problem" I mean orgasms only on top which apparently is a "tilted cervix" problem. I also mean only laying down on top either, not that ninety degrees business, that's not good either. The penis doesn't even go in and out in a way that probably feels great this way, the way I like it. So, the only way I can come is probably the least good feeling thing for my boyfriend. I can't believe I'm posting this on a public forum! My name is Rebecca by the way...Smith! And I'm Scandinavian... Oh, and I can come during oral, but without giving away my actual number, I would say only 5% of guys ever really know what they're doing down there. I did it once when I thought I was a lesbian for a minute, and it's hard and I had no idea what I was doing either so I'm not judging. I don't really know how to give tips to make it better, because I'm not sure exactly what the good ones were doing, I just know they were doing it in a way that made me come! I'm all about communication, I just really don't even know HOW to make this problem better, hence my post! Good-bye.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 182 (view)

Guys that want no strings attached Posted: 11/26/2009 2:07:33 AM
Ya know what, this is all turning into a big power struggle and it's getting quite tedious and I admit I'm getting worked up and tedious and it's 5 in the morning. We might as well all be on the playground and throw sticks at each other and say girls rule boys drool. I think everyone has just been hurt and so we like to put all men and all women in the same category and keep them there. Maybe if we saw each other as being on the same side, we wouldn't end up single and bitter. Sorry if that's too koombaya but I do think this thread is just about power.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 181 (view)

Guys that want no strings attached Posted: 11/26/2009 2:00:25 AM
The way men withhold when they are pissed is worse - they do have sex, but only until they get off - if they are resentful of you, they will start saying "sorry baby, I came" when they were perfectly capable of controlling it before. Okay, one man did this. So now we're ****ing about "women who use their pvssy for what they want in dating and relationships," but think about all the social conditioning that goes into that... think of what women are taught about where their worth lies, ESPECIALLY in this culture? Women are always sexualized everywhere you look, then we're blamed for "doing it to ourselves" and "using our pvssy to get what we want". We're damned if we do, damned if we don't. Also, why is it always assumed that a woman is exchanging sex for something other than sex? We're horny too, and sometimes we just want sex because it feels good. When we put out it doesn't mean we want money or commitment or whatever. Sometimes a penis is just a penis.

digmusic

Joined: 9/18/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

What should i do? Posted: 11/26/2009 1:11:32 AM
Sounds like you might have to stick it out for another 6 months, especially if it's a legal contract. Maybe by the time the lease is up, she will have a better idea that you are not interested anymore, if you play your cards right and cool down more and more. You have 6 months to slowly give her the hint that you are not interested, then it will make it a bit easier for you to leave. Okay, no, don't do that. That's messed up. So many guys do this to make themselves not feel like a bad guy, meanwhile the woman is well aware of the fact that his feelings have changed and he just won't admit it, so she goes round and round in her head and wonders what she did wrong and hopes against hope that things will change and she can make it better because he says that nothing is wrong. Do not lead her along for six months so you won't look like the bad guy. That's what would MAKE you the bad guy. It's not all about what would be "easier for YOU". God! Selfish, selfish people everywhere! Be honest NOW.

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