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 Author Thread: Realizing ALOT!
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Realizing ALOT!
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:53:33 AM

So through the dating on this site, I am realizing that I have alot of insecurities.

My first suggestion: Stop dating through this site. If you're getting burned here, and now you're feeling insecure about yourself, perhaps on line hook-ups aren't for you. After all, there are just as many, if not more people on here looking to get laid rather than looking for love. You're just attracting those types for some reason.

Second suggestion: Stop putting out so easily... not just sex, but your emotional vulnerability as well. I know it sounds crazy, but look at each date as getting to know someone, having fun, and making a new friend rather than a possible long term partner. My guess is you're giving up more than you should far too soon in the hopes that it "seals the deal". Like my grandmother always says "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Meant to be alone
Posted: 11/21/2009 3:08:17 AM

I've always heard that "there is someone for everyone"..but then I think about MY love life..if that's what you can call it..I swear I'm seriously about to go to my local pet store to start my 50 cat collection..lol.

I was thinking this about myself lately, but not in a "feel sorry for myself, wish I had someone" way. I've had 2 LTR's and now that I've been single a while, I like it. I have no urge to meet anyone, and it's not because of any baggage I've carried over from my failed attempts. I am just the happisest, most content that I've ever been in my life and for once I'm just concentrating on myself, and my children and it feels great. I'm not "alone" but perhaps I was meant to be single. If so, I'm ok with that. I don't see anything wrong with feeling that way either if you're happy.

I do have 3 cats though, and 2 dogs so....hmmm lol
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 11/17/2009 6:49:07 PM
Not ready for me = I'm busy raising my kids on my own and working, and trying to buy my first home etc etc etc... I just don't have the patience or time for anyone or anything else.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Complicated Girl Question
Posted: 11/17/2009 3:13:49 PM
Either she's with someone else when you text, not necessarily another guy, but "busy" at the time, or she's not showing much respect for your feelings, or another possibility is her phone service. Some people have crappy phone services to say the least. A female friend of mine sometimes wouldn't even get the texts I had sent. One time while we were out together, I texted her just to see how long it took, and it was a good 20 minutes before she got it, and she was sitting right next to me. Perhaps her phone plan doesn't allow unlimited texts...etc

I guess you wont know unless you ask her, and not a bunch of strangers on line. Also, is it possible that you are a compulsive texter? I knew someone who would text constantly. It was quite annoying.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Guilty until proven innocent
Posted: 11/15/2009 4:54:31 PM
lol @ bueto and aresenic...

Yes, 19 years and yes, there was something wrong with me for staying that long, and then I guess you could say I grew a backbone and left. That was 7 years ago, BUT this thread wasn't about me and my past relationship per se. I only mentioned it to show why I had formed that opinion about the subject to which I posted. I already did enough self analyzing in the past to realize how F'd up that realtionship was, and explaining further about that isn't what my topic was about.

*goes back to the main topic to quote and clarify*

I got this idea from a previous topic and would like to get some viewpoints from other POF'ers.


By previous topic, I meant another thread by a different OP, which gave me the idea for discussion. Since I had some experiences with that OP's related circumstances, I felt knowledgeable enough to proceed.
Soooooo.... I'm guessing that those two particular posters don't agree with me theory then. lol point taken.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Guilty until proven innocent
Posted: 11/15/2009 1:05:54 PM
rickeyes58:
Well , it's like Grampa Rick used to say:
It's the guilty dog , that barks first !

lol well, more or less that's how I feel about it too. I like the way you worded it better though.

bueto regalis:
For starters, I would not have a significant other like that.

That's one of the reasons he's an ex now, but unfortunately you don't get to know someones true self until you've been with them for a while.

You're making broad assumptions of others, based on one disfunctional relationship that you had??

Well, I guess I am bias because of my past experience, but I have no other basis to form my opinion on than that. I'm sure it's possible to be controlling, overbearing, and suspicious of someone who hasn't given them a reason to feel that way, and not be the actual cheater. I just wonder what makes some people react in that way.

Technically, by believing that they are hiding something, before you actually have any evidence, you're doing exactly the same thing that you are angry at them for doing.

Actually, in my case, I didn't think that at first, and then I found out about the infidelity. I forgave him, and then the pattern would start again. Over time I began to think this way, and my lack of trust for him was all but destroyed. I don't plan to think this way with someone else in the future, but I also wont waste a great amount of time with someone who has these types of issues.

touchdown bundy:
Wow, 19 years with someone like that? I wouldn't be able to stand 19 days of that crap. I never understand why someone would "think" that their mate is cheating on them, and not dump them immediately.


Yeah, I can't believe the time span either, but it is what it is. I think they know the SO is innocent, but try to deflect any suspicions for themselves by doing this, or perhaps they are hoping the SO is guilty of something...anything, just so they can feel better about what they are doing.

1kindmanforu:
WHY you stuck with the constant paranoia and suspicion for NINETEEN YEARS is beyond me. THAT's the real issue you need to look at

I totally agree with you on that, and it's a long story that I wont get into. I think after seven years of being pretty much single, I have come to terms with my past issues. I've done a lot of soul searching and self analyzing along the way, and I am finally at a point in my life where I honestly feel at peace and happy.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Guilty until proven innocent
Posted: 11/15/2009 10:03:42 AM
I got this idea from a previous topic and would like to get some viewpoints from other POF'ers.

Do you believe that when your SO is overly suspicious, overly jealous, and accusatory of you with infidelity that they themselves might be the one that's guilty and hiding something? Now this is assuming that this is unwarranted, and you are made to feel forced into proving your innocence, even when you've given no just cause for trust issues. They take it upon themselves to snoop through your things and demand proof that their suspicions are unfounded, and usually even when that proof is presented, they still find some way to not believe your innocent.

From my past experiences with a person like this, which lasted 19 years, it proved to be the case that he had been the one who had cheated several times, which is why I tend to believe that if they unjustly accuse, then they must be hiding something themselves.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
cell phones and cheating
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:48:06 AM
^^ I don't agree with snooping, and believe in the old saying that "two wrongs don't make it right", but I do agree with the perspective that usually when the individual projects so much jealousy and suspicion if it isn't warranted, that they themselves may be guilty of something.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
bf has bad time management
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:42:23 AM
From the OP's profile:

My fiance knows about my sexuality and is very accepting of it, however, he will not be a part of my relationships with women. In the future, I just want a woman who will be with me exclusively and is single.


So basically you also want a female you can dominate. After viewing you profile, and reading your comments here, I can't help but wonder what your fiance is basing his "love" for you on.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
bf has bad time management
Posted: 11/14/2009 11:54:51 PM
Whoa! You scare me even in a post.

One word comes to mind...
overbearing

defined....
1. Domineering in manner; arrogant: an overbearing person
2. Overwhelming in power or significance; predominant.

My prediction is that eventually he will get tired of being screamed at and move on to greener pastures.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Nose & Ear Hair
Posted: 11/14/2009 10:44:55 PM
Initially I'm physically attracted to someone before it progresses into anything more than that. If a guy had excessive hair growing out his nose, ears, and who knows where else, I don't think I would "initially" be attracted to him, so no... I probably wouldn't get to know him better simply because the unkempt hairs were a turnoff to begin with.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
cell phones and cheating
Posted: 11/14/2009 10:32:11 PM
It's an invasion of privacy, and that old line "if you've got nothing to hide, there shouldn't be a problem" is bullsh*t. It's a form of control.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Picture Review
Posted: 11/13/2009 12:07:37 AM
I see nothing wrong in the "looks" department.

I'd be more partial to the "Go Dodgers" pic as your main... but that's just me. Your about me section is good too. Perhaps you're just lucking out with all the snobby POF females so far. lol Their loss though, not yours.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
A quick review please
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:59:38 PM
It's short, but to the point. Perhaps adding a bit of your own kind of humor to it might help. Adding something to your "about me" section that will peak their interest, or make them LOL and feel compelled to comment to you might help.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:48:07 PM
I like it... I come and go as I please, I don't have to "consult" with someone else with my decision making, I have full control of the remote, and if I am sexually frustrated, that's nothing that a fresh pair of batteries wont cure.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
am i being used?
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:43:47 PM
My guess is the "job" she was offered in Spain wasn't the lucrative type you're thinking about. lol

I wish someone could help me understand why people like this OP fall for this kind of crapola. I've heard of being desparate, but this sort of stuff is ridiculous... and stupid.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
To pursue or not to pursue…
Posted: 11/12/2009 6:46:40 AM
Well, the situation isn't fair to you or the guy she's seeing currently. She's the one holding the cards at this point. Hmmm... who will she pick? I think it's silly and a bit self degrading to wait around hoping to be "picked". Another thing to consider is when/if she ends it with him, and starts seeing you, it seems highly probable that she will do the same to you with the next guy. For me I go by one strict rule. Be completely unattached before even toying with the idea of seeing someone else.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Breaking up and reading POF comments from the loser
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:43:48 PM
I think it shows that you have moved on emotionally. Although it angered you to see the internet bashing, a voice inside you said "WTF do I care, I'm done with him anyway". Bickering back and forth with him in that way would just extend the relationship, dysfunctional as it may be. I'm pretty sure that was his intention... to get your attention, even if it was in a negative way. You didn't buy into it. Good for you!
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
Posted: 11/8/2009 11:15:26 PM

I was raised in a family who were respectful of others and in public wouldn't think of insulting the waiter or waitress or clerk at the store...


Your retorts here would seem to prove otherwise.


In the past I've been co-dependent with an alcoholic, abusers (physically and mentally), and seem to have a penchant for finding men with a terrible, explosive temper.


If you're this easily agitated by strangers on line, then perhaps you and this man are a good match.


I can be just as innocently precocious and just as hot and sweaty in a one on one encounter as she, but the beauty of it is, I won't be hunting a man down to support an unwanted pregnancy for 18 yrs....plus....

I in my happiness and satisfaction with my status regarding health, appearance, enjoyment of life, anticipation, spontaneousness, and sensuousness, challenge her and others like her shut the Frick up and let it be. Let others be....

There are many, many gorgeous, sexy women of age who are happy, and above you sexually, mentally, sensuously, physically, and spiritually ....

I've already had 4 mates. I loved them all. Now I'm free. I have nothing to lose and no clocks are ticking. Yes, I'm proud of my body and what a great body it is! It responds just as wonderfully at my age as it did when I was 20, so chill out and give it up.


It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself of all that more than anyone else.

"Me thinks the lady doth protest too much..."
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Should I just let it go??
Posted: 11/8/2009 10:36:11 PM
It sounds like you fell in love, and he led you to believe the feeling was mutual. Now that it's went as far as it will for him, he's dumping you.

Move on... seems like he's hiding something, and most likely it's another woman.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
New Feature: Profile Skins / Backgrounds Are Now Available
Posted: 11/8/2009 3:17:38 PM
I don't know if it will work for everyone, but rather than having to go through all that stuff to change resolutions, I simply hit ctrl - until I can see the skins, and then ctrl+ to get my screen back to where I want it. In my opinion though, it's rather useless to have these skins. When you change the resolution to view the skin, you need a magnifying glass to read the profile. The solid colors you can see with a normal resolution are ok I suppose, but POF should probably shave off about half of those points they require since it's not what people had hoped it would be.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 44 (view)
 
TwinFlame Vs Soulmates
Posted: 11/8/2009 12:07:56 AM
I'm one of those people who doesn't believe in the whole "soulmate" theory. You either find someone you're compatible with, or you don't.

As for the twin flame thing? Well, as the last poster described it, I can't buy that one either. I believe there might be someone else out there that might resemble you, but that's about it for me.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Profile Review?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:12:26 PM
I think it was very entertaining. I like your pic's, and the "punny" way you write... but I'm an incessant punner as well so that might be why. lol

Give it some time... four days isn't that long in POFland.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 42 (view)
 
seriously need some help on helping my friend of 30 years
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:37:14 PM
It's not going to be easy, but my suggestion is to leave him and heal herself, and do it soon. I don't say this as just an opinion.
I myself went through 19 years of similar treatment with my first ex. I don't know what was worse, the hateful, cutting insults, or the silent treatments that could last months at a time. During those silent periods, he would cheat, or attempt to and later justify it as thinking our relationship was over anyway so why not? There were many other forms of abusive treatment in our relationship, but I always found some excuse not to leave. I think fear held me there. I was afraid of change, afraid he was right that no one else would ever want me, afraid of having to support my kids and myself alone, and afraid of the threats he would make about what would happen if I ever did leave... and the list goes on. I got to the point where I felt I was on the verge of a breakdown, and I saw that I wasn't the only one suffering, my children were too. That's when I called my family for help. All those years they didn't know how bad it was for me. I was too ashamed to tell them how he treated me. They came and helped me pack up and get out of there, and they saw his true colors that day. Without their strength and support that day and afterward, I don't know if I could have made it out. For nearly 2 months afterward I was an emotional wreck, but slowly I came out of it and started to finally live life and enjoy my children as a parent should. He wasn't lying when he threatened to try and make my life a living hell if I left him... he tried, and has failed. Even after 7 years he still tries to use his old controlling tactics on me when it comes to the kids, but I am so much stronger now that it's almost laughable. I still wonder how I ever allowed him to beat me so far down that I could barely get back up. I don't know at what point in our relationship that I lost my sense of self, but luckily I regained it.

I wish your friend the best, my heart goes out to her.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
help! F*** friends/buddies and/or on/off relationships... what does he really want from me?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:51:50 PM
If you expected the reactions/opinions, isn't that already giving you the answers you were looking for to begin with? You don't need a bunch of strangers on line to tell you what you already knew.

If you don't mind being used in this way, then continue. If you think your worth a bit more than that, then move on.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:40:28 PM

I don't think you should NOT date until you get a couple of years of professional mental health help, not only to break your cycle of abusive relationships and your part in them, but to protect your children & grandchildren from the type of men you bring home! Seriously, you seem to think this is funny, but if you must continue trying to attract these losers, please keep them away from your innocent bystander family member.


I'll drink to that daynadaze lol
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
help! F*** friends/buddies and/or on/off relationships... what does he really want from me?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:37:04 PM


thanks your advice but i wouldn't call this an obsession.


You're 22...which is why you might be in a bit of denial about that. When you're my age you'll look back on this relationship and probably be kicking your own a*s for quite a while about it. ahhh to be young again. lol
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:30:45 PM
ummm... you're still considering being with him because....????

Oh, let me guess... you love him.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
help! F*** friends/buddies and/or on/off relationships... what does he really want from me?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:25:18 PM
It sounds like just another case of not buying the cow since the milk comes free.

If he hasn't made a legitimate attempt at commitment with you, other than the occasional fling, I wouldn't waste another 7 years hoping he will come around. Perhaps you're confusing obsession with love... you being the one obsessed with him.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 438 (view)
 
Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:17:28 PM
hmmmm... he could be funny at times. That's about all I can think of.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Jesus is stealing my girlfriends!
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:42:22 PM
Perhaps when they were screaming "OH GOD!!!" in the bedroom he heard them....busted!
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Do I have trouble with committing?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:13:07 PM
9 out of 10 people on POF will most likely tell you that you have issues to resolve before even considering dating, seek therapy, or something to that effect.

There's nothing wrong with being single, and why do you think that dating=committing? Why do you think you have to go from one LTR to another right out of the gate?
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 135 (view)
 
Wouldn't it be great...
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:04:28 PM
...if there were more threads like these on POF?

...if those that think they know everything would stop annoying those of us that really do?

...if the word redundant was omitted from the POF vocabulary? lol
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
So what should I do?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:35:44 PM
Emotional friend? so that's what they're calling it these days. lol

My guess is she's not going to own up to what that "other" relationship really is. It sounds like she wants to keep you around just in case the other relationship doesn't work out, or until she's done "being a kid". The problem is, she's not a kid, and if she wanted to play grown up games by getting married, then she should do the grown up thing and end it. If she wont, then maybe you should think about being the adult in the relationship.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Interesting concept
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:23:10 PM
pffft! of course no one on POF can relate to that... what a silly idea!

lol
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Ex coming back?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:48:51 PM
Ugh, I still have nightmares of being back with my ex, so my opinion is probably influenced by that, but I would say a second go at it is NOT a good idea. Stranger things can happen though, so maybe it would work out for you. I wouldn't bet on it as a sure thing though.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 60 (view)
 
My wife wants no passion. Help!!
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:34:22 PM
In a way, this reminds me of my grandparents situation, except totally opposite. After 20 years of marriage my grandfather was critically injured in a coal mining accident which left him paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of his life. He was hospitalized nearly a year before he was well enough to go home, and my grandmother stuck by him through it all. She even took classes in order to care for him at home herself, which she did for the better part of the next 20+ years until he passed away from congenital heart failure in 1999. Even though he had to remain in his own hospital bed the remainder of his life, every night my grandmother would climb into his bed next to him and snuggle up to watch the 10 o'clock news. That's just one example of how they stayed close in that type of situation. Not a day went by, according to my grandmother, that they didn't tell each other they loved each other. The day he passed away, he had just called her from the hospital to say good morning, and began having a bad coughing spell and could barely talk. She told him to hang up until it calmed down. He was able to choke out an "I love you" before his line cut off. 20 minutes later she got a call from the hospital telling her she needed to get there right away. They didn't want to tell her over the phone that he was gone. When she got there, they broke the news to her, and told her that when they found him, he was leaning over the bed rail with his hand still on the phone, and he had already passed. My grandmother always says that even though she still grieves for him even today, she feels blessed to have had that opportunity to say good bye. I like to retell that story when I can because to me that's what true, unconditional love is all about. It's a rarity in this day and age.

I know that doesn't help your situation OP, but your wife has stuck by you all this time when she could have just walked away. That's saying something at least. If you're miserable, I'm sure she is too. What you have to figure out is do you want to live the rest of your life feeling like that?
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
All Advise needed
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:55:02 PM
Well OP, it sounds like a case of "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" It's up to you if you decide to be used in such a way, but I think it's sad that you don't put more value on yourself than that.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 4341 (view)
 
DAILY QUOTES
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:19:43 AM
Flo waitressing at Mel's Diner on the sitcom Alice...

"Mel... KISS MY GRITS!"

whatevertheheckthatmeans..... lol
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 4340 (view)
 
DAILY QUOTES
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:16:58 AM
Roseanne answering DJ's question about if he was an "accident":

"No DJ, you were a surprise. An accident is something that you wouldn't do over again if you had the chance. A surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted until you got it."

also Roseanne....

"I figure by the time my husband comes home at night, if those kids are still alive, I've done my job."
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Students Rights.... advice or opinions needed
Posted: 10/27/2009 11:29:00 PM
SaharaM, to answer your questions, the way I understand it is that this semesters Phys Ed class, which is entitled Wellness counts as .5 credit. Being a late register, this wasn't his class of choice, but the only class with available room. According to his gym teacher a "no dress" counts as a zero, and I think he said 3 of those and it's a fail for the quarter. Next semester he has advanced weight training, which is a course of choice, and counts for the other .5 credit he will need for graduation requirements. I don't foresee a problem there, and his other grades are fine, as is his attendance.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Students Rights.... advice or opinions needed
Posted: 10/27/2009 11:09:16 PM
Just for the record, I didn't mean to minimize the importance of physical fitness with any of my comments. I simply feel that requiring 4 credits of it to graduate is a bit much. Everyone has their own opinions though on which academics have greater value. Lets face it, for whatever reasons there are many youths that wont have the opportunity to get into college directly out of high school, or at all. That's why I feel the last year or two of high school should be more focused on getting our youths headed on a path toward their careers of choice, not holding them back with classes they have no interest in at this point.

Just to update on my son's situation, he served the detention and is going to class prepared and participating. So far my son says the gym teacher has been laying off of him as compared to before. I had a meeting with the Dean and his counselor, and both agreed that as long as my son continues to put in this type of effort, there should be no reason his grade shouldn't improve before semesters end. They also assured me they would be monitoring his grading in this class closely, and if things don't improve, then proper actions will be taken.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Students Rights.... advice or opinions needed
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:19:13 PM
Thanks Sahara, I'm very proud of him for what he has accomplished. He still has about 7 weeks to go in this course. It will count for .5 credit. Now that he has had a couple days to digest all this, I asked him if he had decided what he was going to do, and he said he is "going to see how things go tomorrow". Knowing my son, that means he is going to bite the bullet and put forth the effort, but if this teacher continues to ride him without justification it may be the straw that breaks the camels back.

Also thanks Margo, you gave some very helpful suggestions as well, and I plan to implement those suggestions as soon as possible.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Here is my theory on why I am the ONLY one he has ever been faithful to
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:26:10 PM

Maybe that is what happened why she is confident he didn't cheat on her. He is at her dosposal.

The people we meet online never cease to amaze me hahaha


Well wild1-1, you know what they say... "Ignorance is bliss"

I'm thinking the OP might be looking for the answer to this simply to validate herself, thinking "there must be something special about me, something worth offering a partner". We all get over failed relationships in our own way, and some never do.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 84 (view)
 
How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:19:02 PM
Normally I get a few a day, but there are days there aren't any. It would be easier to say per month, and that's probably about 20 I would say. Since I'm not here for dating, I answer all my mail politely unless it's offensive, striking up conversations most of the time. Those that are here for some "game" usually don't answer back once they find out I have children. They will just read/delete... isn't that odd? lol

Anyway, as for your situation OP, perhaps after talking to you on the phone she realized you weren't someone she wanted to meet up with after all.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Here is my theory on why I am the ONLY one he has ever been faithful to
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:05:39 PM
I tend to agree with the majority here... he most likely cheated on you as well, but for whatever reason, you believe he didn't. Given his track record, I'm thinking the only way you can be 100% sure he didn't cheat with you is if you had him tied up in the basement, heavily sedated him, or stapled to your a*s for the duration of your relationship. Unless you were able to monitor his every waking moment, I'd say you're a bit delusional.

Let's assume that you're right though. Perhaps he was experiencing a lengthy case of impotency and when the "little guy" finally woke up, he was outtathere!
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Students Rights.... advice or opinions needed
Posted: 10/25/2009 6:57:50 PM
Thanks for the input everyone. My son, being an official adult now, has some decisions to make. I can only guide him as best I can, and I agree that at least he is learning a life lesson, if nothing else from this class. From my sons details and reactions I have to believe he is being honest about the situation. I feel he did keep his cool as long as he could. I myself probably would have given in to the agitation a lot quicker. lol

I plan to consult with the Dean and Counselor again, just to be sure the situation is monitored. As for those that inquired "is gym really that important?" Unfortunately at this school, yes. Graduation requires 4 credits in Phys Ed. Subjects such as Math, which may be a heck of a lot more useful in life, only requires 3 credits. This boggles my mind, but it is what it is.

A comment that this teacher made to me over the phone was how he was tired of these kids who don't want to be there getting dumped in his class and having to deal with them. I felt that was inappropriate to say. I understand how that may be frustrating, but if that's the profession you chose for yourself, then you have to take the good with the bad. I don't feel that venting that at me, or taking it out on my son shows good work ethics.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Students Rights.... advice or opinions needed
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:32:00 AM
I've been asking just about anyone about the issue my oldest son has been having with one of his teachers. Since I know there are many well informed individuals here on POF, I may as well try for some input here too.

My 18 year old son is a Senior in the Chicago Public School system. In the past he didn't put forth much effort, and midway through his Junior year he just stopped going to school despite my efforts to prevent it. Eventually he realized that was a huge mistake, and we got him back in school. He took extra courses and summer school to catch up, and amazingly turned himself completely around. He hasn't missed a day of school after that unless he was too ill to go, and brought his grades up to A's and B's, even getting on the Deans honorable mention list. Finally, this year we were all looking forward to his graduation. This is where the problem begins.

His gym teacher has been giving him and a few other "non-jock" types a hard time since the school year began. Twice he had forgotten to bring his gym attire, and recieved a 0 for that, which despite all his other efforts, brought his grade down to a D at midterms. Knowing he had to bring that up, he was careful to be prepared to participate each day. He would check on line often to see if his grade had yet been updated, but it hadn't. In the mean time, this teacher continued to ride him about not doing good enough, or about his appearance (he has a few tat's and he is an aspiring tattoo artist) etc. Foolishly, he didn't tell me about this teachers attitude, thinking he cold handle the situation himself. He did go to the Dean to complain, and basically was told to "just ignore it and do his best". The next day he asked the gym teacher if he would be updating the grades soon, and he told him "he would when he felt like it." Now my son was getting increasingly annoyed with this teacher, but continued with the class, and the teacher continued to ride him even more. Earlier this week, the teacher told him to go sit out, as he was getting an F anyway. Defiantly my son decided not to sit. He was sent to the Dean, and just given a warning. That's when he decided to tell me the situation. The next morning, being yesterday, I called the Dean, his counselor, and the teacher. The teacher was very rude to me, and didn't have a good word to say about my son. I told him I felt disrespected myself , and he changed his tone, and said he would talk to my son and give him the opportunity to make up the grade. The Dean and his counselor were shocked to hear of the situation as my son has been a model student since he returned to school last year, and they stated they would look into the matter. Then, the counselor called me back telling me my son and this teacher had an altercation, where as my son supposedly swore at him, and he received a detention. She told me that she feels bad for my son, but the only thing he can do is serve the detention and try to make up the grade after school, and keep putting up with this teacher until the semester is over. She told me she told him to "just hang in there" and they would monitor his grading closely. When my son got home, he told me this guy took him aside and razzed him about getting his mother involved, and he was getting the grade he deserved regardless. Fed up, my son told him he needed this grade to graduate, and the teacher just laughed and said something like "yeah, I know". My son then retorted that this was "bullsh*t!" and boom... the detention. I don't approve of the swearing, but I can see why he did. My son told me he is not going to serve the detention, and doesn't care if he gets suspended, as that would show he feels he is in the wrong. He feels he shouldn't have to do make up work either, since he has already been doing his part, and says he will not go back to this teachers class again.

I'm at a loss as to what to do, or what advice to give my son. After all his hard work, I don't want this to ruin everything, but I also don't want to have my son just put up with this type of treatment. I would like to raise my children to stand up for what they believe in and not just conform. Any input or advice would be appreciated.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 92 (view)
 
How hard is it for men to not cheat?
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:54:31 AM

I'm sorry, but whoever requested that this be deleted because it is a "troll post, seeking attention" is a moron. Everyone that posts anything is "seeking attention," as we do in fact make posts to get responses to them, don't we? It seems like the touchiest, most difficult to please people in the world belong to this website.


touche'!

OT: It has the same degree of difficulty as it does for women. I think it all depends on a persons character. We all can be tempted from time to time, it's giving in to temptation or having the willpower to resist it that defines us.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Any Virgins or those practicing Celibacy
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:45:26 AM
If you're looking for a virgin in your age range, good luck with that. lol As for celibacy, I wouldn't buy a car without a test drive either, if you see what I mean.



Sex may not be everything, but after a certain period of time there's nothing wrong with giving in to your natural urges. I think that intimacy and closeness are vital for a healthy, loving relationship to grow.
 
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