Marriage is spelled stupid, no matter how you look at it! chat & forums.

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Thread: Marriage is spelled stupid, no matter how you look at it!

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Marriage is spelled stupid, no matter how you look at it! Posted: 2/9/2009 2:32:18 PM
There's nothing wrong with marriage in my eyes. I want to get married one day, when everything is right between my girlfriend and myself. That means, I want to live together for a certain amount of time, clear up our feelings on the definition of marriage, learn who each other is before making such a big commitment. She can learn how I live and vice versa. But, I think marriage is a beautiful tradition. BUT, it obviously is not for everyone. However, OP, I think your boyfriend thought maybe you had changed your mind over time. Maybe he thought you felt like the time was right. If you don't want to get married right now, clearly tell him that. Say, "Can we wait on this?" Say, "I'm not sure if I want to jump into marriage at the moment." Be honest, but be considerate of the other person's feelings. If my girlfriend of 2 years told me straight out, "No"... I would probably leave too. It would really hurt to hear such a cold rejection from the woman who supposedly "loves" me.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

When would you ask if you could phone? Posted: 2/2/2009 1:30:34 AM
It doesn't matter to me as long as she is comfortable.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Best way to hook a guy? Posted: 2/2/2009 1:28:48 AM
You could call them. But you might try to show them that you're not interested in just having one date. By that, I mean, some guys like to chase girls. Obviously, some guys don't. If they don't want to put up a chase, they probably don't want anything more than sex. Guys are pigs sometimes.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Any advice? Posted: 2/2/2009 1:24:08 AM
Anyone have any advice for a 26-year-old guy who wants to date a woman twice his age? If it helps, she has two teenage daughters. We've talked several times and we get along great. She's beautiful. She's successful and mature.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 124 (view)

Can a smoker get a date with a non smoker? Posted: 1/30/2009 3:43:18 AM
Cajun, don't listen to these childish, hateful non-smokers. To you non-smokers: I don't want to breathe your exhaust fumes. So, stop driving your diesel or unleaded gasoline cars. PLEASE. Did you know that your tires will throw up lethal amounts of tire dust as you're driving? Wake up to reality, folks. Household dust is bad for your lungs. We're breathing s*it in general. Next time you drive toward a major city, look up into the sky. When it's brown, that's bad. And I guarantee to you that it's not smokers causing it. But you'll say nothing negative against car exhaust because you're doing it yourself. It's funny how the world turns. lol

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

guy says he's interested but doesn't follow thru Posted: 1/30/2009 12:54:39 AM
Weird guys. I don't know any other way to say it. I mean, why wouldn't a guy want to meet a beautiful woman like yourself?

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Just needing alittle advice.. Posted: 1/30/2009 12:52:00 AM
I don't like how we're so co-dependent on appliances like the TV or game systems or computer or even the damn cell phones either. Unfortunately, you can't change it. All you can do is look around for a guy who isn't so obsessed about such things. One my friends had a husband who didn't lift a finger to help her around the house. But the jerk sure as hell could play video games.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

I am confusing sex w friendship Posted: 1/29/2009 12:44:19 AM
He could be nervous about making that first move or he just wants to be friends. I don't know. I'd have to meet the guy and ask him myself, because he sounds crazy to me.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Guys, opinions on female multiple orgasms...... Posted: 1/28/2009 2:15:43 AM
Um, if I can actually make a woman have multiple orgasms... I really don't even need to have sexual intercourse. I'd be as happy as a clam. It's such an ego boost to have her moan, scream or shake, rattle and roll just once... if a guy can actually do it multiple times, OH BOY!

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Interested or not and just to nice not to come out and say not? Posted: 1/28/2009 2:08:08 AM
Being comfortable with who I am, I can say that I know the impulse to write, "If you're not interested, let me know." I was in that mindset in the dating world for some time. But, honestly, the ladies never responded to me again if I wrote that. Now, if a girl wrote that line to me, it wouldnt bother me. In fact, it would show just how in touch with your emotions you are. I think that's a really sexy quality for a girl to have. You still may be a bit too sensitive and a bit too worried. Give it time. Even if it doesn't work with THAT guy, there are plenty of other fish in the sea; hence, the name of this site.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

You've just gotta be the best friend you can be Posted: 1/28/2009 1:58:12 AM
Sooner or later, your honesty will pay off. All you've gotta do is be a good friend to her. She may open her eyes one day. I've encountered these issues before. Truthfully, it is frustrating when they change their minds just when they're starting to get to know you. It makes you wonder, "What's wrong with me?" But, there's nothing wrong with a guy who wants to give a girl time. That makes him the ultimate romantic. Any other guy who is capable of doing that is pretty awesome in my book. Anyway, I'm looking for a best friend on this site... for starters. Muhahaha.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

OK so guy asks for my number, how do I not blow it? Posted: 1/27/2009 5:24:29 PM
Personally, "cheesy" is not even part of my vocab. It's incredibly sexy when a woman clearly states that she wants a guy to talk to her. And yeah, I'd like the girls I'm interested in to be available.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Why are some guys still hooked on their ex's? Posted: 1/27/2009 5:20:28 PM
I don't know about ex-wives. I can't personally get over my ex-girlfriend. She took my heart. Now, she don't even want to talk to me.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 199 (view)

WHY DO MEN WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU, BUT NOT DATE YOU? Posted: 1/27/2009 4:47:13 PM
That's the world is now. No one knows how to commit to a relationship. Deal with it. It does suck. But, as everyone on these dumb boards have been trying to tell me. You need wake up and see how things really are. Maybe you'd be happier if you went to the other side. I hear its the latest craze to choose to be gay. You might find someone who is a lot more respectful to you and your needs than any man can provide. These boards are really pissing me off. I don't even know why I'm posting here. I know that who ever sent me that threatening email after my first post is SICK.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Ladies, I think we men want purpose or to be needed Posted: 1/27/2009 2:37:22 PM
Wow. Yep. I am an alien. lol. I'm standing up for men's right. We have very little rights nowadays. Mr. Provocative, I'm looking out for you and all other good guys out there.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Ladies, I think we men want purpose or to be needed Posted: 1/27/2009 3:40:33 AM
jim, not all guys are shallow and insensitive ***holes. I know that. It's great that you're finding the right women to appreciate you for you. Some of us aren't that lucky.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Ladies, I think we men want purpose or to be needed Posted: 1/27/2009 3:38:39 AM
Ok. Well, I'm talking about a man's family. This to me should be our first priority, our family. Your dream job would mean more than your child?? Not me. My wife would mean one hell of a lot more than my dream job. I would hope the same goes for her.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Do women want to get rid of romance? Posted: 1/27/2009 3:21:01 AM
Did you ever stop to think that some of us like to do these things for you? It's the thought that you are THAT special to him that counts. Right? That's my two cents.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Ladies, I think we men want purpose or to be needed Posted: 1/27/2009 3:18:51 AM
Just FYI. Men crave purpose. For all the future mothers of boys out there, teach them how to find purpose in relationships. We get so lost when we get into relationships now. All that makes it a sexual relationship with a woman is really just sex nowadays. Look at what's happening. Men are getting into relationships for sex and sex alone. The purpose of being the husband and provider is a joke now. So, they may laze around in front of a TV while you ladies, who think they can do everything... literally do everything. We can't be romantic lovers. That can be insulting. We can't insist on bringing home the bacon. Boy, that's an old concept huh? lol. We can't be men. There are times when I wonder if women are only after our balls in relationships. The anti-feminist/feminist fight is over. You won. Don't make things harder on guys. You might end up making things worse on yourselves. My mother, a major tomboy taught me the right way to treat women. Has it paid off? Not really. I either scare them away or I insult them. They don't like romantics. They seem to want equals. Some of these equal relationships last only so long. The guy refuses to change. He's set in his ways. He wants to sit home and play video games. She wants change. If a guy can actually listen and pay attention and care about his girlfriend's needs, he can make the change and become all the better for it. Face it, guys. Playing video games, losing touch with family and friends, it's no way to live. lol Anyway, cause and effect. You do something. That may be why we do this.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Do women want to get rid of romance? Posted: 1/27/2009 2:54:43 AM
A man has commonly always been the person to take a woman out and show her a nice, romantic time. This is a tradition that guys like myself continue. Although, some of the women I've met aren't receptive to my romantic charms, a few of them have adored it. I'm talking about guys bringing a girl flowers. I'm talking about guys reserving reservations at top notch restaurants and dressing their best. I'm talking about candles and romantic, "corny" music. This is a tradition that has either turned into a joke or an insult or some depraved way of getting a girl into bed. Ladies, do you feel like a man is robbing you of something or insulting if he tries to give you a romantic time? And that means, he has no intention of using that romance for sex. He's treating you like a lady. Does that insult you? Do women want to get rid of romance or what? The alternative is an ***hole who sits on his ass, plays video games and perhaps beats his girlfriend because he does not respect that woman as a "lady". That's my view.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

what to say? Posted: 1/27/2009 2:37:03 AM
Ladies will talk about farts, screwing that hot chick from work, zits, bowel movements and picking noses?? Yes!! Where have I been all this time! lol

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

When to know to call it Quits Posted: 1/27/2009 2:21:40 AM
I feel like this is sexist. Just because one man only wants sex does not mean all men just want sex. Yes, I love sex. I admit it. I do have another head other than the little one. The problem with these insensitive sex addicts is that they have no idea how to carry on a relationship. They weren't taught by their parents or told by their friends. The rest of the good guys in the world get the shaft because A: Those type of idiotic men are out there and B: Because women are too worried that next relationship will be as bad as the last one. News flash: Some of us guys have gotten the shaft a lot. Being rejected can be very healthy for a guy. Then again, it can make a guy into a total ***hole. However, some of us rose above, learned to be better men, learned to respect ourselves more. And we have also learned that it hurts when your heart gets broken. Treat others the way you want to be treat right? Well, that's something these insensitive, cheating dirtbags have never figured out. Now... in a relationship, some people call it quits far too quickly. Look at my last relationship. She really didn't even give it a chance. I think she was scared to see where it would lead. We had a fight and took a weak off from each other. In that time, I grew as a man and a boyfriend. I don't think she grew in any way. She was comfortable being single. A man and a woman should try to grow together in a relationship. Even if that means they scream and yell at each other once in a while. It really is better for both of them to talk their problems out. And that's what I think the OP should try to do. Approach him about these things that are making you worry so much. Did I miss the point of this post?

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 110 (view)

not Will you marry me? Posted: 1/27/2009 2:05:50 AM
I will be very proud... and very nervous to get down on one knee in front of her at her favorite restaurant or whatever and say the cliche words, "Will you marry me?" My father and his girlfriend refuse to get married. They've been together for 18 years. Neither of them believe their relationship amounts to something written on a piece of paper. I respect anyone that doesn't want to get married. But I do not condone killing this lovely and wonderful tradition for everyone else wants it. Like myself. In fact, maybe I won't say, "Will you marry me?" Maybe I will hand her the ring or put the ring on her finger in a very stylish way and tell her that "I would be honored if you would be my wife." Who knows what I'll come up with when the times comes. I knew how hard it will be for me if she says, "No, because it's a form of ownership." Damn. That would hurt. Because... she didn't understand me or our relationship.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

Men givers vs. Women givers Posted: 1/27/2009 1:52:29 AM
Emotional support is an amazing thing to give and receive in a relationship. If your spouse or bf/gf can not give that to you, the entire relationships suddenly feels very hollow. Good post, Sea Bound.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Are guys and girls really all that different? Posted: 1/27/2009 1:27:45 AM
I think men and women are very different at times. He wants to retain power. She wants to retain freedom. This is true for a lot of guys and girls I've seen and heard of. However, I am a man who wants the tenderness and affection a woman can provide. I certainly can't get that from a buddy. Nor do I even want it from my buddy. My girlfriend may or may not want the security of having a masculine person in the relationship. I will play this role... a role that we've been playing since the damn of time. But, I will respect her as an equal, despite some glaring things that make us different. Men have puberty once and it's really free coasting after that. Women have puberty once and then, a monthly visitor that kind of screws up their week or weeks. Men pee standing up. Women squat. Physically, we really couldn't be anymore different. It's hard though. Why do they say that "women are the weaker sex"? Why do they say that all men want is sex? Is it all true? For some people, maybe. For me, I'm neutral. I love sex. Some women love sex too. I'm weaker in one area, where a woman is much stronger in that area or other areas. I couldn't bear the pain of child birth for example. Talk about brave.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Is it a bad thing if a guy wants to be her knight? Posted: 1/25/2009 4:21:28 AM
Is it such a bad thing if a guy wants to be the knight in shining armor on a date or in a relationship?? I've been grappling with this for some time. One time I went on a date, this girl refused to let me get the door for her. I guess I was taking away her independence or something. I didn't see it that way then and I don't now.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Dating guidelines and behaviour Posted: 1/25/2009 4:06:42 AM
The fact that we men have to struggle so much to get a first date proves how different men and women really are. I certainly wouldn't care if a woman came up to me for sex. I don't care how she asks me out. I would give her my cell number, no matter what. And, honest to God, I would not flirt with other women clearly enough to be seen or called "flirting". The fact that we need to use special words in order to talk to you or your sister makes things all the more clear. Seriously, I'm very respectful and polite, but the whole equality thing is almost two-faced in nature.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

What is so physically attractive about guys, ladies? Posted: 1/25/2009 3:57:23 AM
To me, I think guys are kind of ugly. I guess, I would be worried if I didn't think that. But one of the things that has always bothered me is trying to figure out why women are attracted to guys. And what parts of men are so attractive? Men will always look at several things on women. I'm sure you know what they are. And in our defense, I'm sure there are a few lesbians out there who look at the same stuff.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 95 (view)

not Will you marry me? Posted: 1/25/2009 3:46:10 AM
There's a lot of talk about "equal partnership" on this thread. But, my question is... will she take his name or vice versa? Or does this even affect the "equal partnership"? Btw, OP, I love the idea of marriage. I really wish these traditions wouldn't be ransacked by bored idealists. Because to me, in spite the fact that I hope she takes my name, marriage has two best friends declaring that they will be together for the rest of their lives.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

not Will you marry me? Posted: 1/25/2009 3:44:39 AM
There's a lot of talk about "equal partnership" on this thread. But, my question is... will she take his name or vice versa? Or does this even affect the "equal partnership"? Btw, OP, I love the idea of marriage. I really wish these traditions wouldn't be ransacked by bored idealists. Because to me, in spite the fact that I hope she takes my name, marriage has two best friends declaring that they will be together for the rest of their lives.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

First date rules Posted: 1/25/2009 3:35:13 AM
With others on the first date, any chance of intimacy may be left to the second date.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 121 (view)

Why meet right away....Lets get to know each other first. Posted: 1/25/2009 3:33:06 AM
I'm all for getting to know someone first... by any means. The only concern I have is that we get too comfortable with texting or emailing or IMing and we kind of lose the ability to speak to others in person.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Would this bother you? Posted: 1/25/2009 3:25:26 AM
No way. He's not a very secure male if he's bothered by that at all.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

who recovers faster after a breakup men or women? Posted: 1/25/2009 3:09:02 AM
My ex seemed to have moved on very fast after our break-up. She didn't even give me a proper "goodbye". It doesn't really change anything. There are men and women who will take longer.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 231 (view)

Do you believe a woman when she says ... Posted: 1/24/2009 1:54:38 PM
Interesting thread. OP, this is touchy stuff actually. You had to have expect some offended ladies posting here. But, I think the OP does know that there are women love the sports listed, including boxing. Here's the opposing argument. How many women out there today understand their own feminine roles? Or even apply any femine personality to a relationship? I'm not being sexist here. It's an observation. Enjoying sports is one thing. Foregoing your feminity to fit in with men or be equals is another. I've encountered my share of women or girls who prefer to dress in loose men's clothing. I understand the reason for it. It is comfort to wear bigger clothes that hides the human form. But I don't understand why they think a man would be aroused by this. Maybe it's just the fact that chivalry or just the concept of complimenting a woman on how she looks has been thrown out the window. Or, maybe the ladies just don't care if they attract a guy or not. It makes no difference. I'm not aroused by a woman who wears the clothes on a date that my buddy or I would wear. I'm sure I'm gonna get a backlash as sure as the OP did. But, I just wanted to voice my thoughts and feelings on this.

LukeMM23

Joined: 4/2/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Men givers vs. Women givers Posted: 1/24/2009 1:26:45 PM
This is a great forum. I think more people should read the points of view expressed here. I'm a giver. I have been all my life. It stems from taking care of my mother. Finding someone to accept me for who I am hasn't been easy. So many people seem to expect the worst of others. Maybe giving and or receiving is a trust issue. Maybe you can't trust that the person giving doesn't expect something in return. Maybe the person giving can't trust that the person receiving will accept their gift or help. So, either the giver changes into a neutral kind of personality in which he or she doesn't really care anymore. Or, the receiver changes to trust the giver enough to accept his or her help... and maybe, one day, start giving to the giver in return. There's a lot of "maybes" here. lol Honestly, all I can say is that I've had to train myself not to jump on any horse to help my dates or girlfriends too quickly. It can be overwhelming for the receiver. But, I know that if I'm asked, I'll be there to help as fast as possible. Sometimes, it's hard to fight my first impulse, but I do it for the sake of the relationship. And that could apply for a relationship between a giver / giver or giver /taker. Don't rush things. However, to the OP or any man or woman concerned about this issue, don't be taken advantage of. Don't suppress who you are because the other person is not willing to compromise enough to allow you to breath. Receiving is a great thing, especially if your first inclination is to give back. If your partner is taking advantage of that giving nature and not giving back, you approach that issue with him or her. If he or she doesn't change that about themselves, it's time to move on. You could be miserable in either case, whether you're trying to be yourself and trying to give to the person you love and he or she refuses it... OR that person is obviously using you and taking advantage of your help. Just think about your happiness in the long run.

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