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ktownchicka

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 76 (view)

Success, then utter disgusting failure Posted: 11/24/2009 7:40:47 PM
I guess it could be worse...you could've crawled into bed to catch some more z's once she left....

ktownchicka

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Success, then utter disgusting failure Posted: 11/23/2009 9:36:39 PM
Uhhhhh tell her that it isn't because she POOPED the bed...it's because she LEFT you to deal with it. How rude! And nasty. I don't care if she has self esteem issues...and has an avoidant personality....or how hot she is! She pooped your bed! And you had to clean it up!

ktownchicka

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Success, then utter disgusting failure Posted: 11/23/2009 9:33:52 PM
Why would you give her another chance if she was rude enough to leave it there??? I don't care how embarassed she was! There is a good exit strategy for everything...and leaving and pretending it didn't happen, while he is forced to wash the stains from his sheets is NOT a good one. And she wants another date? Absurdity.

ktownchicka

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Success, then utter disgusting failure Posted: 11/23/2009 9:23:08 PM
Uhhhhh I would say no, and just explain that you don't like the idea that your bed will be pooped in everytime she comes over. Maybe she is into the "Scat play" and thought she'd leave you a "gift"? Maybe you were being rude by not thanking her.... Sometimes you just gotta know when you're not compatible with someone. It's too bad she had left by the time you found it...I would've rubbed her nose in it and said "No! Bad...you don't poop in my bed!".... I mean if it was an accident she could've at least taken the sheets with her? Just shoved them in her purse or something and then hightailed it out of there....but, no...wow....if it was an accident, wouldn't she at least have TRIED to clean it up, or been really embarassed and apologized and then picked you up some new sheets and blamed it on her IBS? Like...so many other ways that could've been handled... I recommend no second date....

ktownchicka

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

two different body temps and sleeping Posted: 11/23/2009 9:05:07 PM
Hey! Here is a question I feel qualified to answer...I work in the furniture/bedding/mattress biz and what we recommend in a situation such as this is WOOL! I know it sounds ridiculous, but wool naturally draws moisture away from your body and dissipates it back into the environment, storing as much as 30% of its own weight, as opposed to cotton (only 8%) and synthetics (less than 5%). And because wool is so good at wicking away the moisture it allows your body to regulate its own temperature more efficiently, and allows partners to maintain their ideal body temperatures. So you both won't overheat and you will still be warm enough to not wake up shivering...try a wool topper or wool duvet with a breathable cover. Wool is also super good for you as it reduces tossing and turning up to 75% (it has been proven in studies done by a company called Natura that babies sleep better and cry less when sleeping on wool), and it prevents mildew and dust mites and other allergens from building up inside it because of its ability to get rid of the sweat you have during the night (and trust me, we can shed up to a pint of sweat in one night!)---so it is a good way to go too if either of you have allergies. Just my two cents...wool topper or wool duvet!

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Shoulder Separations (AC Joint) Posted: 11/19/2009 7:37:34 PM
Has anyone ever had a shoulder separation...where the AC joint gets separated and results in either a partial or complete tearing of the acromioclavicular ligament and other surrounding ligaments/tendons?? I sustained a 3rd degree separation while wrestling about 2 years ago, and still experience pain daily with lots of grinding, popping, and I have a very pronounced "step deformity".... If anyone with a similar injury can let me know how long ago they sustained it, what kind of rehab they did, and how their shoulder feels now it would be much appreciated. Wondering if this in normal for this injury or if I should consider doing surgery (even though it isn't normally recommended for a 3rd degree)??? Any advice or comments are greatly appreciated!

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 172 (view)

If you could change one day in your past, what... Posted: 11/19/2009 4:06:35 PM
I wouldn't change anything except for one night when I was 14 and got drunk with friends, and instead of calling my parents (who I lied to to go drinking with friends), I decided to spend the night at a friend of a friend of a friend's... Next time I would know that being grounded would have less of a lasting affect on me than what happened that night...One of those things where you wish you had known what you do now, back then....

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 81 (view)

The other side of WTF was he thinking? Posted: 11/18/2009 11:10:17 PM
ForumFilly...thank you for your post, you definitely put what I was thinking into better words.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 50 (view)

Is being yourself really good advice? Posted: 11/18/2009 12:52:27 AM
What is the allure of George Clooney? The only part I like about him is his eyebrows...

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 69 (view)

The other side of WTF was he thinking? Posted: 11/18/2009 12:38:26 AM
Have to say the OP was pretty easy to understand. Apparently some people want several long paragraphs, with many details, or else the full conversation, typed word for word? Next day, she emails me to tell me how things "did not work out." Huh? Seems I should have taken her home for sex. It was her BIRTHDAY, after all! When I was 19 or 20, "dating" was picking a girl up in a bar and taking her home for sex. That's all. I thought, given that this lady was closer to my age, that I was supposed to be a "gentleman." This "rejection" apparently really infuriated (hurt) her. Apparently, though SHE never made a "move," never in any way overtly indicated she even wanted so much as peck on the cheek, I was somehow just supposed to know that she wanted me to rip her clothes off and take her like the hero of a cheap romance novel, right there in the bushes? He says "she emails me....seems I should have taken her home for sex. It was her BIRTHDAY after all!"....now, don't tell me he found this out in their earlier correspondence, it definitely sounds like something a pouting, sexually frusterated woman would say. "The rejection apparently really infuriated (hurt) her...SHE never made a "move"....I was somehow just supposed to know that she wanted me to rip her clothes off, etc, etc"..... I figured all of this was the "gist" of the email she sent him, or any exchange of email after that point. Sometimes it is good to read between the lines before coming down so hard on the man. He must be frustrated that what he thought was a clear and easy to understand post, was actually wildly misinterpreted. And if someone uses the word VITRIOLIC in their post one more time...argh!....like, can we not come up with an alternative word? I have a few "go to" words for those looking to be a little more original: antagonistic, biting, harsh, scathing, acerbic, cutting, acrimonious...the list goes on.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Tell me if I'm correct... Posted: 11/16/2009 3:36:08 PM
Well that was entertaining. Only 3 kinds of men...well sheet. You are speaking for men and women. I am not saying there are only 3 kinds of men...just 3 "General" ways of thinking, and if a woman wants to save herself time and heartache, she will learn how to read a man and know what he is looking for, whether it be JUST sex, a possible connection (but not ruling out the sexual aspect), or a deeper connection. People are individuals....so no, you cannot classify everyone into 3 "types". But I am saying, as a general rule of thumb, guys will either want just sex, sex or a connection, or a connection. Sounds about right to me? How am I speaking for men and woman? I am a woman, and I am trying to get a MAN'S opinion on a subject, to see if it is a valid way to read a man's actions...??? Speak for yourself not the rest of us. I am speaking for myself...and I am pretty sure I didn't say ALL or MOST women...I said TOO many...and I am using that because of how many threads have been started where women didn't see that a guy only wanted sex, or why all of these women seem to post all of the time, wondering why "all men want sex"....Not ALL men want sex (right away). And not ALL women get involved too deeply, too soon. But A LOT do. Save your catiness for the Ask a Girl forums...you obviously have nothing useful to contribute to this thread. I'd rather have my question answered then start some useless confrontation. Maybe you should actually read what has been written before responding.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Tell me if I'm correct... Posted: 11/16/2009 3:18:26 PM
After reading yet ANOTHER forum topic relating to women wanting to know why guys only seem to want sex, and why they just "whip it out" on a first date, or why all the sexual messages...I have come to the conclusion that there are three different kinds of men, and as women it is our jobs to be able to gauge and then filter through the kinds we don't want...for the one we do. And we should stop complaining, because it is our own fault for not being able to read each individual man.... Three types of men: 1) Men who want just sex. That's it...they aren't looking for a deep, meaningful connection...they basically just want some. (These are the ones who send smutty texts or messages...so there are clues that this is the kind of guy you are talking to). 2) The men who are open to a "connection", but don't mind settling for a casual sexual relationship, or if a date doesn't bode well for a relationship, they will still be up for a one-night stand, or FWB because they still want to "feel" while waiting for the right person to come along. (This one is a little harder to detect, as some men will say what a woman wants to hear, in order to get something out of it...a good rule of thumb to follow here is not to have sex on the first date or so....if they disappear or don't want to meet again, you have your answer.) 3) The men who are tired of the game playing, and casual sex. The ones who want to "settle down" with the right woman....are more discerning in their sexual partners, and don't think highly of a woman who "puts herself out there" too early.... (they want a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed). (There may be some sexual talk...but not right off the bat...there may be talk of a sexual nature, but not ALL OF THE TIME...he will express interest in other parts of you...like your mind and heart, taking time to find your interests etc.) NOTE ABOUT PLAYERS: Men are made for hunting....they know which ones are the weakest prey (ie. lowest self esteem, most accepting of poor treatment, ones who are naive enough to believe the basis for a good relationship starts with sex right away....etc)...and they go off of that. Not saying ALL men go off of that...but the one's who just want sex do. So guys, is this accurate or not? Is it a good way to look at it when you are trying to decide what a guy wants, and whether you are on the same page? I think too many women get involved too deeply too soon because they let their feelings get in the way of reading a man's subtle body language and clues...

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Mooching off Posted: 11/11/2009 6:39:46 PM
Wow that sucks! You did the right thing ending it, changing the locks, etc. I hope you got your laptop and car back! Now you know what red flags to look out for. You did nothing wrong, except be a little too trusting of someone you didn't know well enough. She sounds like a gold digger, to a T. You did NOT overreact. I recommend you don't have anything more to do with her. Women like that can only be trouble (no matter how good the sex is).

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 214 (view)

If you found out he used an escort Posted: 11/11/2009 6:33:42 PM
Gymuse....so I think there are two different issues here. I can put up with a guy who has been to an escort. Safer than picking up a chick at a bar (they actually promote safe sex), etc, etc. BUT, I would NEVER put up with a guy cheating on me...with another woman, man, escort, or anything! We all have our weak days, which is fine when you are single....but if you give in to the weakness, whilst in a committed relationship.....then, you are done (in my books, however, it seems like more and more women...and men, are taking back their SO's after being cheated on). As well, shouldn't the counselling have come BEFORE the cheating if he loved you? I think a man who loves you would've recognized his inability to cope with his sexual urges, and done something about it before coming to the point of cheating. As well, you have many more opportunities to turn back when seeing an escort...as you are finding a number, as you are calling to set up an appointment, as you are driving to the place, as you are waiting at the door, as you are entering her room, as you are negotiating rates, as she is fellating you, as you are taking off your clothes, etc, etc..... I think cheating with an escort is a more CONSCIOUS decision, than getting tipsy at a bar and then banging some chick back at her house....because up until the point of doing it, you can still convince yourself that it is all innocent fun, and you are just going to "hang out", and what is one kiss? But an escort, you know what you are going there for. So I think that cheating that way is far worse. Because it is premeditated.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 205 (view)

If you found out he used an escort Posted: 11/10/2009 6:19:56 PM
I think prostitutes have their place in society, and if men want to use their service, so be it. There are much worse things a guy can do. And I think that it's a lot more widespread than most people believe.... Food for thought In the UK: Dr Helen Ward, lead author of the report, points to growing divorce rates, sex tourism like stag holidays and the increasing availability of commercial sex through such means as the internet. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4488254.stm

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 194 (view)

If you found out he used an escort Posted: 11/9/2009 2:38:36 PM
I don't think a man who has been with an escort is an automatic dealbreaker.... If it was recent, I would definitely have my doubts...and probably just be friends. But if it happened a year or more ago, and he was lonely, etc. Who am I to judge? I think it is naive for ladies to think that only a small percentage of men do this. I have many guy friends, and probably about 80% have been to an escort at least ONCE. Whether their buddy bought it for them as a birthday present, or whether they were just focused on their business and needed a release (escorts prevent you having to go through the motions, it is guaranteed, and you get it WHEN you want it...no strings attached...I can see why the idea seems like a pretty good one). Or for married men, who don't want the unnecessary drama involved with an affair (worrying about the girl on the side telling, etc....which normally doesn't happen, unless you are in politics? And they can fit it into their lunch break, so no having to sneak out and account for whereabouts). However, I would demand STD tests for both of us (this should be a given in any new relationship), and for quite some time I would use a condom. Even if he had said he used one with the escorts...because really, you can't be too careful. Although, I feel it is almost safer to be frequenting escorts (the upscale ones, who demand condoms for vaginal/anal sex) than to be picking up chicks in bars. Most of those girls are easy to convince out of a condom....and you can bet they are picking up guys almost every night they go out.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag? Posted: 11/9/2009 2:21:56 PM
Damassteel: Since when is being scared to death of STD's a bad thing? Haha. I wasn't saying younger women are more "uninhibited" I am just saying they are fairly new to sex (most of them), so may be more inclined to want more...although I know most women do peak at an older age. I definitely wasn't insinuating that younger women are better in bed...because for the most part, older women who have a healthy view of sex ARE better. Why? Because they are usually more comfortable with their bodies, and don't think sex is something they just need to show up for....they work harder. I'm sure with the right younger girl, sex could be just like it was in high school....:S (all fumbly and awkward with your continual protestations that no, her ass in not too big, and please move your hand from across your stomach...I don't care if you have a roll...).

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag? Posted: 11/9/2009 1:38:06 PM
My age range is listed as between 25-40, and I am 21. I have found on this website, through trial and error, that I have very LITTLE in common with anyone my age. And that conversation only flows freely with someone who seems to be on my same level, intellectually. HOWEVER, I also find it to be a bit of a red flag when someone's age requirements are for many years younger but no older...It makes me think that the person is shallow and looking more for the "trophy girlfriend" or a tight bod, then someone who they really are compatible with. As you get older, you should be discerning enough to realize that you will be more "on the level" with someone your age or close to it (because of years of experiences), and just have an open-mind when it comes to the young'uns because some of them will be just as mature and intellectual as women your age (exception, not the rule). Maybe though, a man will list the younger age preferences due to him being a Liberal thinker? Maybe he has met too many women his own age who were ultra conservative in their thinking, so he figures if he heads towards the younger end of the spectrum, he will find someone more like-minded, as I am sure this new generation proves to be much more liberal thinking than the last (IMHO). OR maybe he has dated women his age, and found they were too uptight sexually (I am not saying older women are too uptight, I am just saying that the younger women nowadays seem to be a lot more open with their sexuality-due to a variety of factors, but that is for another discussion). Or maybe some men don't seem to think that the older women have as great an interest in sex (older women have already experienced a lot in life, and men may feel that now they want more of a companionate love than a sexual affair/relationship), and if it is still important to an older man (once again this depends on a variety of factors) he wants someone who is still interested in it (and I am only assuming here that men would more equate a high level of sexuality to a younger woman, than an older one---not saying it is true, just saying that men may feel that an older women's priorities have changed with getting older, and that most of the mainstream sexual images are of teens or young, sexy stars...even though most people continue to have sex well into their 70's and 80's....). *Do not take offense to this post...I am merely throwing out some ideas as to why a man may prefer younger and not same age or older....I'm sure some of the time it is due to shallowness, but maybe others it is due to bad dating experiences and so now he has made a change in requirements to find a more like-minded woman?*

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 193 (view)

WHATS THE WORST DATE YOU HAD ON POF Posted: 11/8/2009 2:50:31 PM
Awww DIVISION77....I would've called you back.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 236 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/6/2009 8:15:30 PM
Thank you to almost everyone for their posts...especially ladyc4 and verityone. And to Belle Lass... A wise man once told me..."Crazy people don't know they're crazy." So I am sorry for my "personal attack", as I seemed to think all I was doing was simply enlightening you. I see that was a mistake now, and that nothing any of us says will get through to you. I am sorry for assuming that most people's mistakes (ie. your generalizations, etc.) can be corrected with rational thoughts and overwhelming logic. I see that I was wrong in attempting to reach out to an untouchable. As for the original reason for this thread....sex vs. love: I believe both can exist simultaneously or alone... I think at least a few of us have heard of the Triangular Theory of Love? The wikipedia site actually shows a graph that either checks one, two or all three of intimacy, passion, and/or commitment. Example: Friendship checks just Intimacy, Infatuation checks just passion, Empty love just checks commitment....and so on and so forth... (feel free to take a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love ). What I am trying to get at here, is that sometimes we only have one or two of the boxes checked....like in a FWB relationship (aka "romantic love") where we would have Intimacy and Passion, but no commitment. But what I think most of us aim for in the end, IF we meet the right person, and our situation in life seems to fit having that person in our life, is the Consummate love (where all three boxes are checked). But this is difficult to find and maintain...it is something you have to work at.....and passion can sizzle out years later relegating the relationship to Companionate Love. SO, I think love and sex can happen all at once, but it is infinitely harder and much more work to get to the Love it is we speak of. I think most of us just want to be close to someone, or share in ecstasy, or feel like we have someone who is there for us when we need them...so we take what we can get...whether it is Friendship or romance or companionship....and settling for any of these does not make us less than those who have the LOVE-love...it just makes us human. And who's to say (this is a rhetorical question for a certain somebody who probably has their fingers tapping in anticipation to answer this with a poorly thought out response that will only further contribute to how foolish they look) that if you work on yourself so you are ready and open to accepting that right person into your life, that you have to go about it a certain way? If the passion in there....why can't intimacy and commitment both follow suite? There is no RIGHT way.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 182 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/5/2009 8:50:23 PM
I am pretty sure I am not being overly sensitive nor am I slow to understand. You said... *Take some time and read some scientific studies done on this. It is readily available. There is enough Lit. on this that I can fill three pages on POF forums...and...yawn....if you are so interested, then look it up. I've done my time doing that when I had questions about female/male sexuality. Google and google and....then go to the local library and read the books. Please... Think of it as a challenge. * Don't patronize me. * It has been proven that women are emotionally connected with sex. * I asked proven by whom or what? Then I said it was a g-e-n-e-r-a-l-i-z-a-t-i-o-n, as it obviously does not apply to me, and as far as I can see two other women agree with me on the matter...so how proven can it really be, especially since I am the one who has to search out your faulty information (how hard would it be to list at least one source?) . If you had just corrected yourself and said "Yeah, you're right about that...it is proven that MOST or a GREAT DEAL OF women are emotionally connected with sex." But instead you attempt to call me out on what I wrote, when I was really only seeking clarification. I guess when someone points out your flawed perspective you attempt to denigrate them. Maybe you should take a second here to review everything you have written on this subject, and maybe you will see the faulty logic, assumptive declarations, and countless generalizations you have made. Please don't assume that because you are 46 you have access to the collective consciousness of women....all I know is that A LOT of people don't agree on different things, and this is one of them. To say otherwise makes you seem pompous and narrow-minded. Maybe you should give your head a shake....some women!

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 178 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/5/2009 7:42:30 PM
Belle Lass....I find you to be quite ignorant. What I asked was... Like every time they have sex? And then I said.... I can't say I am always emotionally connected with sex...heck, sometimes it is a purely physical phenomenon. Maybe I just wasn't a part of this proof...wherever it is you got it from.... So, to reiterate: women like me must not have participated in the study as I find I can separate physical and emotional...or combine them if I so choose. It is not an EVERYTIME thing for me. So, that is probably why I asked if it was every time or just most of the time or some of the time! I am sure there are studies...but I wanted you to maybe point me in the direction of the one that says ALL women are alike and have the same emotional reactions to sex. I think you have issues where you seem to feel that you are superior to everyone. Usually people are only like that to mask their insecurities. I am not a feminist at all. I will have arguments about this until I turn red! I feel it went out of control and destroyed an essential part of our social structure. Wow...this explains a lot.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 173 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/5/2009 7:17:51 PM
Also of note: It has been proven that women are emotionally connected with sex. Like every time they have sex? And this is proven by whom? You? Case studies? A poll of a hundred or so women? Let's not generalize here. I can't say I am always emotionally connected with sex...heck, sometimes it is a purely physical phenomenon. Maybe I just wasn't a part of this proof...wherever it is you got it from....

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 141 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/4/2009 10:21:50 PM
To walk through life fearlessly puts oneself and other's in danger. Fear keeps us grounded. Fear keeps me from being stupid. Yup... fear and a dose of common sense which is unfortunately not so common. Truly... I fear a fearless person. Fear holds us back from taking risks. Without risk there in no reward. I find fear to be a limiting emotion. I think it forces us to set boundaries for ourselves, and leads to a life of mediocrity. Sometimes you just have to take chances, and do away with fear. And yes, that includes taking chances on people too! Obviously, while including your powers of deductive reasoning (common sense doesn't exist anymore). Make smart choices, not based on debilitating emotions (apathy, grief, fear, hatred, shame, blame, regret, resentment, anger, hostility) but on the good ones like: interest, enthusiasm, laughter, empathy, action, curiosity, etc. FEAR is NOT a good thing.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

To wait or not to wait Posted: 11/4/2009 4:09:07 PM
I think you are too invested in some person you barely know. You have a Master's degree, so I assume you are intelligent enough to be able to read the signs a guy is interested or not. If he was interested, he would make it a point to keep in contact with you. He hasn't....so move on. Don't waste another second on a guy who can't decide whether he has the time or energy to invest in pursuing you. You're too good for that. And really, stop overthinking it. Some guys just like the ego stroke of having a woman who is interested in them. Wait for a guy who makes it VERY clear he is interested. That's my two cents.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 128 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/4/2009 2:39:40 PM
Movie......dinner.........anal sex under the moonlight. Wow, DIVISION77....you are SO romantic! Once again though, you gave me a good chuckle. I learned somewhere that women like to "talk" about feelings, while men like to "show" feelings...and what better way to do that than through sex...although women seem to think that these feelings always mean "Hey I really like/love you..and I want a long term relationship where I will always be loyal to you forever." When really men can be expressing even just the most basic feelings such as "You're hot and you make me horny" or "I love my best friend so I am taking one for the team so he can have your hot friend"...it's women's job to gauge what a man is thinking by the things he says, does, and doesn't do....and then decide whether she can accept that as the reason he wants to have sex. I would say most of the time the feelings he is looking to "express" are not I love you...they go from each end of the spectrum though. Women seem to think that just because a guy can or wants to have sex with them, that they MUST like/love them...so then they invest too much emotionally and end up being let down when he doesn't call back and then they become jaded and meet someone who ACTUALLY likes them, but then they mess it up by withholding sex because they never learned to "Read the signs!"... Any men want to point out some signs that he DOESN'T like/love you, and has some other predominant feeling he is looking to express?

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 135 (view)

Jesus is stealing my girlfriends! Posted: 11/4/2009 1:27:16 AM
I was raised Mormon, and I have to say...if they were inactive mormons, maybe they just liked you TOO much and didn't feel like sharing you with all of the other women in the Celestial kingdom. Because EVERYONE knows that there are more righteous women then there are men. And black people are considered descendants of Cain (the guy who killed his brother Abel in the Bible) so couldn't hold the priesthood until 1978. And they baptize for the dead (yeah, they will baptize YOU once you pass away)....Religion scares me.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Frustration.Confusion.Help? Posted: 11/4/2009 12:41:19 AM
Most people say I am mature for my age. I guess its true; certain events in my life, and choices I have made have caused me to mature a bit more.. Yeeeeeaaaah. What happened to this? It's written right on your profile. If it was true, you wouldn't even be considering this. You barely know the guy, and had a failed attempt with him, where you foolishly moved to a different city to be with him after only a short amount of time...and now you are considering hooking back up with him IF he moves here. He is probably just lonely and scared in a new province, and he hates his job...and you are starting to look like the better option, even though he didn't care about you enough to decline a job OFFER! When you had MOVED to be with him! Give your head a shake. Move on.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 91 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/4/2009 12:34:58 AM
DIVISION77 your post was good, however, I had taken a sip of water at the exact moment of coming to it, and basically ended up spitting it all over my keyboard.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Frustration.Confusion.Help? Posted: 11/3/2009 10:13:30 PM
Just for clarification purposes, how long had you known him before moving to be with him?

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help? Posted: 11/3/2009 10:11:58 PM
I'm pretty sure the whole "stringing you along, waiting to see if something better comes along" thing doesn't apply here. Like really. I am pretty sure that would be stupid. I think maybe he wants to wait until he has steady income to ask you-ask you out...maybe he is just biding his time right now, keeping your interest up at least....until he can afford to take you out and buy you things and basically treat you like the freaking hot sexy lady you are. Maybe he also doesn't want to have to discuss his job situation as well, because most women want men with jobs....so if he keeps it casual for now, he doesn't have to worry about looking like a fool in front of you. Which would suck. Like big time...

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Care for you vs Care about you Posted: 11/3/2009 9:40:27 PM
Wow, and things were awkward? He should be happy someone so sexy cares for him and not just about him! :)

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 85 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/3/2009 9:36:52 PM
And again, there you go with unfounded speculation posing as righteous intuition again. Do you mean righteous indignation? I also find it a little naive that women would believe a 37 year old man who says he has NEVER had sex with someone he didn't love....Maybe he REALLY liked her and thought there was potential...But really, 37....and only ever had sex with women he loved. Are you just saying you love these women because you figure you should because you've had sex with them, and that is the line you fed them, so you have said it so much that you have convinced yourself? I can totally see why OnlyThis would find that so hard to believe. Maybe if he had been 19-22 or so? But 37, c'mon let's get real here people!

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Anything worse than poor hygiene on a date? Posted: 11/3/2009 9:01:59 PM
7andrea2: Omg! That would suck! Already into things and you realize that? Ew. Poor guy. I can't believe he went back...even months later! Do some people just have no sensory self-awareness? Like, when I have BO from working out, I KNOW asap and remedy it with a shower or a stick of deodorant...or do they know and just shrug it off?? Wow.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

When do you tell? Posted: 11/3/2009 2:16:42 PM
I am very glad to hear you are in good spirits and keeping a positive outlook. I have read a few books on the subject of fighting cancer with diet (juicing and certain teas that help aid in the fight against) and it can be done! Don't ever give up! That said, I think you could mention something about how you are very committed to your new lifestyle (diet, healthy living, etc) and hope to meet someone with that same positive outlook with a focus on health and wellness? Then, if it comes up, it comes up...and if you start getting serious about someone, I would reveal the info to them, but not make it out to be more than it is. You are just in a battle right now, but you are taking steps to come out on top. I think it is ludicrous to ask you NOT to join a dating site...as if this makes you undateable? I don't think so...if anything your positivity and determination will endear you to the right man. I think you have the right mindset about this, and if it is a "dealbreaker" for someone, so be it...move on. You don't need negativity in your life right now.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Would you keep texting a women if you weren't interested? Guys help? Posted: 11/3/2009 1:39:55 PM
I think you should try dating someone older? Younger guys really don't understand women enough, so maybe it is just an age thing? He is intimidated by you...but obviously likes you. He is probably just a little unsure of how to go about things...most guys don't figure out the game until they are in their early 30's...sometimes even later.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

When do you tell? Posted: 11/3/2009 1:34:36 PM
Are you currently getting treatments or is it in remission? And I am very sorry to hear this. I guess when you decide to reveal it, also has to do with how serious it is? Does the prognosis look good?

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Anything worse than poor hygiene on a date? Posted: 11/3/2009 1:28:26 PM
Ew....ew ew! I read that and I was thoroughly disgusted, as I have been in the same experience before...and I hightailed it out of there ASAP! Nothing will kill the mood faster than poor hygiene. And I give her props for taking the time to let him know how to properly clean it. I wouldn't have wasted another second...I would be too busy choking back the urge to vomit. Oh my...that smell! It is something you will never forget if you have been unlucky enough to experience it. Obviously it goes both ways....men and women can have poor hygiene...but, how can you not tell???? Don't you know whether you're not up to specifications? And wouldn't you at least excuse yourself to freshen up or....I dunno. I am disgusted right now. I have to stop typing.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

Sex versus love Posted: 11/3/2009 12:26:30 PM
Wow, everyone is giving OnlyThis such a hard time....he is just trying to enlighten everyone! Sure, maybe there are a couple of men out there who really NEED love to have sex, and enjoy it...but that is a small percentage of the population. I think men can enjoy sex without love, but that it is maybe just more fulfilling when you care about the person you are sticking it to. I think the main thing that OnlyThis was trying to communicate, is that NuDig's way of thinking is more the exception than the rule. And I have to agree. I have known enough men to fully believe that...ALTHOUGH, there are men out there who I have known who are very religious and so would only have sex within the confines of marriage. But overall, this is true...for most people. And I think it's pretty lame that sex is considered a functional/mechanical act, unless there is love. I don't think I believe that for one minute? Maybe it is the person you choose to have sex with, and the chemistry between the two of you...because without love, there still can be passion.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

more sex Posted: 10/25/2009 11:33:17 PM
I think it is more the quality of the sex she gives him (frequency does play a part though). Do a man right and not only will he be more likely not to stray, but he will put up with a lot more of the nagging too. I have tested this theory out, and my research confirms it. Haha.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 219 (view)

what do men consider overweight? Posted: 10/25/2009 11:25:16 PM
I mean overweight to the point of 5'2-5'4 200-plus pounds Holy, I am almost there! 5'4, 178lbs....I feel big.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 209 (view)

what do men consider overweight? Posted: 10/25/2009 8:08:59 PM
I would have to agree that BMI is the WORST judge of what you are...apparently, I am right on the cusp of Overweight and Obese (almost 30 BMI). But, I have been a competitive wrestler, and have lifted weights almost my entire life. I am curvy (36-27-44, but I have a clearly defined waist and no overhanging fat anywhere on my body...I also don't have the luxury of being the typical pear shape, as my measurements would say....as I have wide shoulders and huge arms for a girl (not floppy huge arms...like muscular arms). So, I KNOW it is inaccurate for me...as well, I took a second to find some GOLD medal Olympians and their BMI's... Shawn Crawford (USA) Sprinting (200m) (Overweight: 177cm, 81kg, athlete BMI=26) Mark Lewis-Francis (GB) Sprinting (100m Relay) (Overweight: 183cm, 89kg, athlete BMI=26) Matthew Pinsent (GB) Rowing (Coxless four) (Overweight: 196cm, 108kg, athlete BMI=28) James Cracknell (GB) Rowing (Coxless four) (Overweight: 192cm, 100kg, athlete BMI=27) Steve Williams (GB) Rowing (Coxless four) (Overweight: 189cm, 96kg, athlete BMI=27) David Cal (Spain) Canoeing (C-1 1000m) (Overweight: 183cm, 91kg, athlete BMI=27) Khadjimourat Gatsalov (Russia) Wrestling (84-96kg) (Overweight: 180cm, 96kg, athlete BMI=30) Artur Taymazov (Uzebekistan) Wrestling (96-120kg) (Obese: 189cm, 112kg, athlete BMI=31) Ryan Bayley (Austria) Cycling (Sprint) (Overweight: 181cm, 84kg, athlete BMI=26) Odlanier Solis Fonte (Cuba) Boxing (81-91kg) (Overweight: 180cm, 91kg, athlete BMI=28) Alexander Povetkin (Russia) Boxing (over 91kg) (Overweight: 188cm, 91kg, athlete BMI=26) Ihar Makarau (Belarus) Judo (90-100kg) (Obese: 180cm, 100kg, athlete BMI=31) Yuriy Bilonog (Ukraine) Shot put (Obese: 200cm, 135kg, athlete BMI=34) So, I think Body type is according to your own perception...BMI is the worst way to judge it.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Lesbian Attraction? Posted: 10/25/2009 5:42:46 PM
I think what I find sexiest in women is when they are comfortable in expressing the masculine side of themselves. For instance, a woman who is still feminine, but does a job like carpentry or welding or construction. Or a good looking woman who lifts weights and isn't afraid to put on some muscle...or a really very pretty woman who has a deep, raspy voice. I think I just like someone with balance...who can be both feminine and masculine at the same time and be comfortable doing both? Someone who is open to being sweet, sexy, and compassionate...but also strong, firm, and in control....and have the two cross over. Do not tell me that the image of a really fine woman building something or fixing a car does not turn you on? Or is it just me?

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Have any other women experienced this? Posted: 10/25/2009 5:19:47 PM
Wow...it sounds like everyone else has it good? I recently dated this guy who not only just talked non stop about himself, when I would try to tell him something about myself, he would INTERRUPT me to continue talking about himself. I put up with it the first time I saw him, chalking it up to nerves, and don't we all deserve a second chance? But then when it turned out to just be the way he was, so I jokingly said something like "Wow, I almost know your whole life story now...", and that didn't shut him up, so I said "Gee it is good to know you're taking an interest in ME". And so he got the point, apologized...and CONTINUED talking about himself. I never saw him after that...and now I am almost afraid to date another guy. If I have to put up with being someone's buddy therapist for hours, with no expressed interest in me...I will probably just cut my losses and become a cat lady. That is BY FAR one of the biggest turn-offs...right up there with poor hygiene.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

whats with the I'm tired Posted: 10/22/2009 9:27:49 PM
He may be lazy or he could also have porn d*ck...that's what happened with my friend's bf, she found out the reason he never wanted to do it was because he had subscribed to a fetish porn site and no longer had an interest in real flesh-on-flesh sex. And she was HOT (not saying you aren't OP)... But yeah, I would turn him down the next time he wants it, and then say something like "Well, you never want to do it when I want it...so I have to wait for YOU to be in the mood? It's a two way street...and it's not just men that can get frusterated." And then maybe explain that repeated rejection when YOU are totally ready to go, really doesn't work in his favor when he wants it...why would you wanna please him if he can't even take 10 min for a quickie (or 5 or less, whatever you prefer?). If it has only happened once or twice though, you're jumping the gun a little...it is normal for someone to just be tired and not want to put the work in...but if it has happened three times or more I would probably say something. If it is just a casual relationship you have....you MUST say something, do not continue to let him dictate the rules of your meet ups, and always have it be on HIS time. It is about mutual giving and taking and if he isn't willing to do that...move on! And really when he says he is too tired, have you ever tired just going down on him anyways...or my favorite is "Oh come on....just the tip?" hahaha.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 247 (view)

A real woman Posted: 10/22/2009 7:27:56 PM
A real woman is with a real man? That is a horrible thing to say. So lesbians aren't women? Silly!

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

same age dating Posted: 10/22/2009 7:25:32 PM
I've dated only men older than me...I am 21 and I ideally like to land within the 30-32 year old range. Even then I still seem to find guys that don't "get it". You'd think the extra 10 or so years would help.... But, I do like the idea of a man being older than me. I guess it is almost to the point of fetish? Haha. Maybe it's because the guys my age are still at the point of partying and drinking every night...where I am from at least. And plus, older men are so much more confident and experienced. And better lovers too!

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 64 (view)

What do we like about men/women? Posted: 10/22/2009 3:16:25 PM
What I like about men... -That mesmerized look they give you when you are in the beginning stages of intimacy, their lusty eyes as their hands explore your body...it gives me shivers thinking about it. -Their strong, firm hands.... -The way a confident man presents and holds himself...nothing is sexier than confidence (and there is a big difference between confidence and****ness). -When a man speaks to you like you are his equal...and does not automatically think that he is more intelligent than you. As well, when a man compliments your mind instead of your body...even though you know he thinks you are sexy. -When a man open's up and shares the deeper side of himself...trusting you utterly and completely....that connection where he loses his inhibitions and insecurities and let's you peer into a corner of his soul. -How sexy their butt looks in a nice fitting pair of jeans...where you just wanna go up behind him and squeeze it...grrrr...;) -The calm, controlled, sensual manner in which they explore your body...John Mayer's song "Your body is a Wonderland", comes to mind. Kind of almost the same relaxed way they drive a stick shift...yes, I find it highly sexy...especially when he is all relaxed behind the wheel, leaning back into his seat and steering with one knee and then occasionally changing gears...I dunno why that turns me on?

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Rip me apart! profile review please Posted: 10/21/2009 1:16:03 AM
First off, I would replace your picture with another one where you have shaved even more, and are wearing a black collared shirt (or golf shirt or something?)...but in black, as I think it will work better with your eyebrows and hair...it will give you a more "mysterious" edge. In my opinion. We always have to work with what we have...and plus, you look geeky in the shirt you are wearing in the pic now. And I think most women would appreciate if you showed at least from the waist up? Just from your belt up...so they can get a better idea of your size, and height...cause some women will like the idea that you are 6'2....so use that. Go for the tall, dark, and handsome pitch. And from the other pic remove the caption "This is me at my job." Sounds a little immature? It actually made me roll my eyes...if you can't think of something else just keep it blank. There's a lot of men in the world, but only a few are good listeners and don't treat a woman like a sex object. I'm one of them. I'm told that I'm a good-listener and warm-hearted. I like to help others in need. I do my best to think through my problems if they come up. I want to share the good times and bad times together. I am educated man with a college degree. I would just start over. Maybe say something instead like: " As much as I enjoy my life as it is now, I am always looking to add to it. I enjoy meeting new people and I like to think I am a good listener-and not just because it minimizes the chance I can put my foot in my mouth, but because I am genuinely interested in people (maybe because I spend most of my day working at a computer, so it always feels great to meet someone outside of the Matrix...wait no, I swear I am not that big of a geek...but really, did Keanu not rock that movie?). " I dunno....add a little humor to it? Don't sound so robotic and disorganized in your description of yourself. If you can at least get a woman to smile to herself when she reads it, she will be more apt to return your messages or contact you. As well, I would remove "Video Games" from your interests...not because you shouldn't like them, or because you should be embarassed...but because that is not something a woman wants to think about. It would be like putting "porn" in your interests. We know guys do it, but we'd rather not think it's something you do for hours a day (even if you do). Or you could just keep it, or upgrade it to something worse like WoW (I know you know what that means). But really, take that off...you don't have to lie about it, just don't advertise it.

Blisssout

Joined: 10/12/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

Dating Women Posted: 10/20/2009 11:31:27 PM
LeftofNormal...your post made me smile :)

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