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verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Power struggles Posted: 11/3/2006 5:12:54 PM
I think I agree with the OP. It's a control issue. If a woman can't just gracefully accept your number and call you, it's better to let her be on her way. You've already shown interest by giving her your number. If she's insisting on more than that right off the bat, she's got issues.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

What Would U Do? Or How Would U Feel? Posted: 11/3/2006 4:50:57 PM
You used this forum to put her down. THAT is not acceptable. Yeah, really. So, just shut up, already. OP-- I was there just a few weeks ago! I felt insulted, b/c he basically called me a liar and a slut. When I told him that his actions were making it clear that he was the untrustworthy one, he did a bunch of backpedalling. I haven't spoken to him since and I know he's an ***hole. Just be thankful that you didn't waste more time on him.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

What are your first date killers? What's a big no-no? Posted: 10/31/2006 4:34:23 PM
Being an ass to the servers will get you nowhere. Talking about the people at the tables around us is another big no-no. Not respecting my personal space is another no-no. This is why dating is best reserved for the 4th or 5th meeting. Show me your classless side when I can laugh instead of just being apalled.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Political correctness: preference versus being superficial Posted: 10/31/2006 4:27:24 PM
The fact is that it's a preferance. The judgment call is that it's shallow. Should we all judge the judgmental ones, now?

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Girls don't fight fair!! Posted: 10/31/2006 4:23:59 PM
If you can't handle some tears, I'd say you're the one with the problem. Not the "girl".

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Is Self-Deprecation Off-Putting? Posted: 10/26/2006 6:16:48 PM
An occasional jab at one's self is OK but if after several times I could see it being a turn off. It's not seen as being humble to most but a sign of insecurity. Quiet confidence - very sexy. Whatever you do, be proud of your accomplishments but don't gloat about it. In the same way, don't over-emphasize your faults or failures. It's all about being balanced. I completely agree. I wonder about men when most of their jokes are self-deprecating.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Does this theory sound plausable? Posted: 10/26/2006 6:09:59 PM
There are lots of immature, never-been-married folks out there. The more I think about it, the more I think your theory sounds nice, but isn't accurate. The choice to grow and mature is available to everyone, regardless of how young they were when they got married.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

What would you do if a woman you know condoned drug dealing ? Posted: 10/26/2006 6:04:16 PM
I'm assuming you don't condone drug dealing and that's why you're asking. I'm also assuming that by "condone", you mean "participate in some way". I'll answer from those assumptions: If you really don't condone it yourself, this isn't a question. You cut her off and go on with your life. By being with her, you are condoning it, since you know she condones it. Live according to your values. If you don't, who will?

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Does this theory sound plausable? Posted: 10/26/2006 6:01:43 PM
verboten I don't have issues to work out. I've just read the same thing over and over and over in the threads. I said if you're dealing with them. Not just meeting them, but actively participating in something with them. And, not just you...anyone. I think, for the most part, ppl get what they're looking for.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Does this theory sound plausable? Posted: 10/26/2006 5:50:56 PM
I don't know about your theory. I see ppl talking about those things, but I just figure ppl like to complain. You see what you're looking for. If you're dealing with "people like this", I imagine you've got some issues to work out your own self. When crazy's coming, cross the street. Cheers!

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Where am I going wrong? Posted: 10/26/2006 5:48:43 PM
My thoughts: If you keep having the same "major conversations" and he still has no clue what's bothering you, you need to leave him alone. He is not paying attention to you, he's just looking to get his needs met. I had to learn that lesson the hard way. Maybe you will, too. Good luck, either way.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Honesty...good or bad? Posted: 10/26/2006 5:43:33 PM
Whether or not it's intimidating is only something the person you're dealing with can answer. I value complete honesty when I've asked a question. However, simply volunteering every honest thought you have about me might cut our relations short. Even if you're complimenting me all the time. I don't hang around other ppl so that I can be the constant topic of conversation.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Single Moms with young children dating men with no children Posted: 10/26/2006 5:43:03 PM
I've never understood why "my kids come first" even needs to be said. Seems to me it's best to just assume that's the situation and take it from there. I don't really care if a man I date has kids or not, but I don't want to meet his kids. If he tried to introduce us (thankfully, that's never happened) w/in the first 4 months of knowing each other, that would probably be the end of whatever we've got going on. I have found men to be quite curious and respectful of the kids issue, but I never make dates for when my kids are home, so I haven't dealt with the babysitter issue.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Confused with this whole dating lark. Posted: 10/26/2006 5:23:53 PM
I've never understood why us "older folk" don't like going to clubs, etc. If it was never your thing, I get it. But, to suddenly find it distasteful? I don't understand that. You can meet the love of your life at any venue. By limiting your opportunities, you limit your opportunities. I'm pretty sure that what's meant to be, will be. No matter where you are.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Dating with children, Why children and dating need to remain seperate Posted: 10/26/2006 5:16:54 PM
I have no idea why that's so hard for men to understand. Maybe you're meeting those needy guys who want to think you're going to be together forever after you've only known each other for about 5 hours. Instead of wondering why they can't understand, be grateful you get to get rid of them before you're actually attached to them emotionally.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

The Bastard Trap Posted: 10/26/2006 5:14:23 PM
I couldn't even finish reading all that! I can't bear to think about ppl like that, let alone date them.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

For The Guys- Would you seriously date an ex-prostitute? Posted: 10/26/2006 5:06:42 PM
Your comment is contradicting itself.... penis is a muscle as well. And what's wrong if a guy has a smaller penis or a bigger one for that matter? You obviously missed my point. And, you obviously don't know how to use "contradiction" properly.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

The rules in YOUR world Posted: 10/26/2006 12:26:31 PM
The person you were talking to sounds passive-aggressive. Why bring "the whole world" into a private discussion btn. 2 ppl? No need to even defend yourself against that sort of mentality. Just say

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

missing him...is this love? Posted: 10/26/2006 11:02:13 AM
You are the victim of the 'Woman Trap'. Once you have sex with a male, you are bonded. Oh, god! If only this were true! insert barf icon here You're infatuated. No big deal. Don't overthink the situation. It is what it is. Have fun!

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Experience is it an issue? Posted: 10/23/2006 9:49:11 AM
I think all women should just band together and collectively decide to never answer this question, again. Of course, it's a good way to weed out the sexist pigs.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Do you like to talk first, or meet right away? Posted: 10/23/2006 9:44:40 AM
Email, talk on phone, meet. Preferably within 2 weeks. It doesn't take me long to figure out if someone's worth my energy or not.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Would you go on a second date with someone that seems to like to give orders? Posted: 10/23/2006 9:29:12 AM
Well...it depends. I like a man who knows what he wants and thinks he can make me do things. It makes for great sexual energy. If he just starts off trying to make decisions for me, I'll assume he's inconsiderate. But, power play can be fun...so if we already have a good feel for one another and he turns all our time together into some sort of foreplay by ordering my meals for me, telling me how to sit, etc., I will get really, really turned on. And, I have no issues with that, whatsoever.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 70 (view)

What Happened to being Asked Out on Real Dates? Posted: 10/23/2006 9:17:26 AM
I guess I can't relate to this issue, at all. IMO, a "real date" should be saved for when you've been around the person enough to establish that you actually like him or her. I can't stand going out on a "real date" with someone I barely know. It's awkward and annoying. I don't like all the chit chat that seems to go with it. Getting to know someone is something best handled in small spurts, IMO. It's definitely not something I like to do for hours at a single time.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

For The Guys- Would you seriously date an ex-prostitute? Posted: 10/23/2006 8:26:40 AM
People can have sex with one person and end up with a disease. And, the vagina is a muscle. Who says "she might be too loose" anymore? Probably only men who are too small. Ee gads.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

he doesnt want sex before marriage! Posted: 10/23/2006 8:22:14 AM
If she really likes him, she should ask him for a deadline of some sort. Marriage sounds like it's far away. They should revisit the issue in 3 months or something and talk about how comfy he is and see if they can go back to having sex.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Oral Sex NOT INtimate ??? Posted: 10/23/2006 8:15:47 AM
I don't know. Oral sex is waaaay less intimate to me than mouth-kissing with tongue. It doesn't give me the major turn-on kissing and breastplay does. However, the trust factor is the same for all sexual acts, in my world.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Once a cheater always a cheater. True or False? Posted: 10/19/2006 4:44:20 PM
It depends on the level of personal growth and whether or not that person wants to continue cheating or not. I don't think cheating a few times makes one a cheater, per se. IMO, "cheater" implies a way of life and/or mentality, not just something one does or has done on occassion. Just like loads of ppl lie, but that doesn't make them all liars, in some broad, general sense.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

question Posted: 10/17/2006 6:12:16 PM
I like anal, so I don't care why they want to do it. But, I want to know why so many are opposed to having it done to them.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

How Important is body language? Posted: 10/17/2006 6:02:56 PM
Do you have Asperger's? Just wondering. I'm bad at body language. Not giving it, but reading it from others. Mostly b/c I'm not looking for it. The only time I look for body language to tell me something is when I feel like the words coming out the person's mouth are lies. And, if I lose trust, I won't care what any of your language is.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 110 (view)

Can ugly guys get good looking girls? Posted: 10/17/2006 5:58:26 PM
I think it's the vibe that you don't consider them physically attractive that makes them insecure. If a woman is with you, she likes something about you. If it pisses you off that your looks aren't part of what she likes, that's your issue...not hers. No one can make another person anything...including insecure.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

So what do you go out to do by yourself? Posted: 10/17/2006 5:50:44 PM
Club. Bookstore. Library. Drag show. If I want to stay by myself, I only do the middle two.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Dorothy and the Scarecrow Posted: 10/17/2006 5:47:11 PM
Uncalled for? OMG...it's Halloween. I say, with that sort of mentality, you're lucky you have someone and you should just do whatever she wants.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Why Can't Men Find Men Attractive Without Judgement? Posted: 10/17/2006 5:41:55 PM
You can have charisma and be ugly.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

why are women afraid of men with some baggage? Posted: 10/17/2006 4:50:48 PM
Really! If you refer to your kids as "baggage", I wouldn't want to deal with you, either. And, I have kids of my own! I love kids. Baggage...not so much.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

I Have A Theory...Question for tha Ladies! Posted: 10/17/2006 4:49:15 PM
I thought men liked to hunt. shrug I know I liked to be tied up! But, that's not why I'm here.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

an internet meet gone wrong somewhat Posted: 10/17/2006 11:51:09 AM
Of course, she wants to be with you! You're practically begging her to rob you! And, what theif doesn't like an easy mark? If you're going to mess around with her, b/c the lust is so great, do it in a hotel and leave your personal belongings locked in your car.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

Little white lies....fibs....exagerations....can they break your relationship???? Posted: 10/17/2006 11:43:13 AM
Liars suck. And, if they'll lie about small crap, they'll lie about big crap. Definitely. Of course, it's sometimes hard to know you're being lied to. You get all and years later, you find out he lies all the time. Sucketh.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 261 (view)

Plentyoffish, Now with Flowers. Posted: 10/17/2006 11:36:45 AM
I wonder if they'll send dead flowers?!? Might as well. Then, we can make potpourri!

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

How many dates have you had of the Internet and still remain single? Posted: 10/17/2006 11:23:43 AM
No dates from here, but 1 from another. But, I like being single.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Why is it? Posted: 10/17/2006 11:17:41 AM
It's called passive-aggressiveness. And, immaturity. And, victim mentality. Avoid it like the plague, b/c it is a disease. They do it once, they'll do it, again, until they finally grow up. Which could take years, if it ever happens.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 187 (view)

When it comes to the opposite sex, what is your weakness? Posted: 10/17/2006 4:49:37 AM
Apparently, my weakness is penis. I'm working on remedying that.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

The Scorpion or the Swan Posted: 10/17/2006 4:48:31 AM
I'm the water . . . I'll drown 'em both if they don't get along. Hey! I was going to be the water! Seriously, the answer to this changes from moment to moment. Sometimes I go against my better judgment, like the swan did. But, mostly, I just do what I do. If it results in ppl getting stung, that's not really my issue. Just like it's not someone else's issue if I get stung. Such is life.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Why Can't Men Find Men Attractive Without Judgement? Posted: 10/16/2006 8:27:14 PM
It's called homophobia. I love it when men comment on other men's looks. It's cute.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

what if a guy wants to move in right off the bat after meeting you Posted: 10/16/2006 8:09:49 PM
Him moving in might lead to marriage, so she's in line with her profile. I'm sitting here hoping this was a joke and she's laughing her butt off somewhere.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

shoplifting the pooty-tang? Posted: 10/16/2006 7:52:55 PM
Hmmm...I think the harshness is unnecessary. I can imagine a situation like this and feeling uncomfortable b/c a friend said he had feelings for me that I don't share. It would be weird. I get it. I think you should let her make the first step toward reconciliation, if that's what she wants. If you really want to let her know you have no hard feelings and miss her friendship, send her a funny "missing you" card. If you're mostly feeling badly b/c she's a single mom, get over it. If you're mostly feeling badly b/c you may have broken her heart and your ex's heart, that's called wallowing in self pity and you should stop.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 53 (view)

Is Sexiness Going Out Of Style For Women? Posted: 10/16/2006 7:32:53 PM
Sometimes slutty is sexy. Insecurity is a ****. Dating uglier chicks b/c you don't want to be cheated on? Better hope they don't read this thread.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 70 (view)

What does my children come first mean to you? Posted: 10/16/2006 7:24:23 PM
Yelling at people doesn't prove you're firm. It proves that you have trouble controlling yourself. But, if that's working for ya, rock on.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Questions RE: Players Posted: 10/16/2006 7:10:44 PM
Sometimes, players come back for more. Depends on what he wants. Not all players are looking for a one night stand.

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 60 (view)

What does my children come first mean to you? Posted: 10/16/2006 12:13:36 PM
Some of you need to stop dating single moms who feel guilty about the divorce or however the relationship with their kid's dad ended. And, if yelling at a kid when he's doing something wrong is the first thing that pops into your mind, learn how to view kids as people before meeting any. If don't go around yelling at adults, learn to use your inside voice with the kiddies, too. :)

verboten

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

Friends with benfits possible with out emotion... Posted: 10/16/2006 12:03:39 PM
Friends with benefits is a good way to go, IMO. Better than a boyfriend, b/c you don't care enough about what they think to get too emotional when things get heated btn. the two of you. You get pissed at your FWB, you just tell him to go home. He calls a few days later and you both know what he wants. Life is easy. And, you have as many as you can handle. They usually want to hang around your house, sometimes, eating your food. So, if this bothers you, only have one or two. Since you're actually friends, there will be some expectation of doing something together besides the sex. I think Non-friends with benefits is the best way to go, though. AKA F*kbuddies. Sometimes ppl confuse FWBs with FBs, but they're 2 different animals. There's no real talking and never any hanging out with an FB. They come for the sex, they leave after the sex. If they call and want sex, you have no problem saying "no" and hanging up. I don't think having more than one of these at a time is too good, though. I don't trust an FB to be honest about anything*. That's why the only question you ever ask an FB is, "Are you coming over?" A bit more can be expected from an FWB.

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