When someone points out that you're old.. chat & forums.

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tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 240 (view)

When someone points out that you're old.. Posted: 7/4/2008 10:00:23 PM
Once a student of mine was trying to figure out how old I was, when his classmate said," Ms. B's not old only her hair is! lol

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Been Divorced along time.. will this inhibit me meeting a man for LTR? Posted: 7/4/2008 9:57:40 PM
Next time any guy asks why you never remarried or why you have been divorced so long...tell him that you don't mate well in captivity!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Love and hate - are they opposites? Posted: 2/27/2008 5:50:56 AM
Yes, hate and love are part and parcel of the same emotion. You won't hate a person unless you have loved them at some point. Only someone you love can cause you so much pain that it evokes a hate response. Some people will take either emotion because it shows that on some level they are being acknowledged. The worst thing you can do to someone is to ignore someone, show that they are of no worth. You then remove yourself from that vicious circle of the love-hate thing. So though the emotions seem like total opposites, they truly aren't.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

is it really about looks or the heart of the person that counts Posted: 12/28/2007 1:38:49 PM
I wish the answer to your question could be so easy!By our human nature we are attracted to a certain look, it varies by person. I have tried to get past that for the life of me, but alas it is futile. I met a great man who was wonderful in every way and I tried to give the relationship time in hopes that his physical appearance would grow on me. Not that he was an unattractive man, but I guess he just didn't do it for me. I was very sad to have to leave the relationship, cause I truly enjoyed his company and miss the friendship, but it wouldn't have been fair to either one of us if I would have continued knowing I could never take it to the next level.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Is there still hope? Posted: 12/23/2007 3:59:26 PM
One of the reasons this breakup is so difficult for you, is that as you said, she was your first girlfriend. She was also older and probably introduced you to all sorts of experiences that you might have never had before. Our first loves are always the hardest to get other. But trust me it gets easier. Use what you have learned from this relationship to make your next one more successful. Don't be so intimidated by women. Until your heart has been broken you haven't really lived. Love is a gamble sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

How do single parents meet that special someone? Posted: 8/11/2007 10:11:51 AM
First of all the guy wants to date you not your children. You should not be introducing anyone to your children right away. It has been advised by professionals to date for at least 6months before involving your children. I know this sounds like a long time, but you need to know the person well before bringing them into your family life. Most men may be a little leery about dating a woman with children because many women try to make it an instant family. I raised both my children with the aid of family after my divorce. I didnot encounter too many difficulties in dating. My kids were well behaved and weren't difficult to be around. I had long term relationships that included my children. But I felt the need to weed out the trash that weren't worthy of that type of involvement. That can only come about when you take time to know someone. You will find a great guy eventually don't feel the need to rush it.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

Why all the hostility toward openly married guys here? Posted: 8/11/2007 9:59:18 AM
whatever the issues are in your marriage, it is still your marriage and needs to be worked on. You don't involve a third party and hope that that will fix whatever ails your comitted relationship. I think that is very selfish on your part due to the fact that you are not considering the feelings of the person who becomes the third party. Many people on this sight are looking for a long term comitted relationship. This cannot be had with someone like yourself. Maybe you will find someone who is willing to go into a relationship with you, but what might happen is that feelings will start to evolve between the two of you and you might be forced to make a choice. Why go thru all that mess! Resolve your issues within your marriage first, it might end in divorce who knows, but at least there will be closure and perhaps a fresh start. Good luck!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

What part of a man's body do you find the most attractive? Posted: 7/28/2007 9:19:14 PM
His eyes, his voice (if that could be considered a body part!) then I look at his hands. All three that I mentioned are very expressive parts of the body and reveal alot about the person.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Passion: an intense emotion. Does it diminish with age? Posted: 7/28/2007 9:12:50 PM
I don't feel that passion diminishes with age. I think that more important, deeper passions take the place of superficial ones.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

How important is your Faith... Posted: 7/28/2007 9:05:38 PM
This is one of the more interesting posts that I have seen in awhile. I used to think that a persons view on religion was not important in a relationship, but now I realize how wrong I was in assuning that. As I get older and seek a deeper relationship , it has become increasingly important to me. I want someone I can connect with on every level, including spiritually. It is hard to find that connection. But i have faith that it will all come together for me eventually.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

@#&!X!@ Posted: 7/25/2007 7:48:24 PM
I agree with those who consider cursing a turn off. I don't like to be around people who constantly curse, its tacky and unnecessary. It looks bad on a man and worse on a woman.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Very strange question for the ladies tonight. :] Posted: 7/25/2007 7:42:45 PM
Why? Do u live there?

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

When women look at men's profiles ... Posted: 7/25/2007 7:29:32 PM
You cannot go by favorites lists. I have found myself on lists of people I have never chatted with or seen! People sometimes see your pic and like what they see and add u to their favorites list. Don't assume that a person has communicated with everyone who has added them to their lists. I never let that deter me when I what to contact someone. It doesn't mean that they are already in a relationship. Happy fishing.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

Looking For Answers Posted: 7/21/2007 7:31:46 PM
Not to sound mean, but I thought one got smarter as one got older!!! First of all what happened to using protection! She got pregnant, but its lucky you didn't get anything!! I don't understand how people just meet and have unprotected sex! The babies may not even be yours. I would wait until they are born and have the dna test done. Be careful before you be sorry!!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Something that I've always wanted to know Posted: 7/21/2007 7:26:41 PM
I also do it for me! I also have never made it a habit to do the makeup thing. I want to look as natural as possible, this way no one gets scared when they see me in the morning!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Dating frustrations Posted: 7/21/2007 7:15:23 PM
All of the circumstances you describe can be controlled by you! Every woman deserves to be treated on a first date. It doesn't have to be expensive, since you are just getting a feel for each other, but that doesn't mean coming to his place and plopping on his couch either. If a guy is broke he shouldn't initiate a first date! If he stands u up, there should be no second chance! There is rarely a second chance to make a first impression and everyone knows that. If these persons who are asking u out have all these issues u mentioned, just move on to the next date. They weren't worth the time to begin with! You have to respect and love yourself first and know u are worthy of better choices. Move forward and good luck,the right one is out there waiting!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 103 (view)

Help me I'm almost 50..... Posted: 7/2/2007 5:45:36 AM
I'll be 51 in July! I can't believe i'm at that halfway point to 100! I don't feel 50 and certainly don't look it. You have one body and one life. Take care of it and enjoy this life for as long as u can. Don't worry about age, a woman's beauty is timeless... it just moves from the face to the heart!!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Do clothes make the woman? Posted: 4/17/2007 8:36:47 PM
No clothes don't make the woman, but it has been known to make a "so,so" looking woman look much more attractive. You would be surprised at what a difference the right outfit makes. Why do u think they have so many "Make Over shows"! Also u should have asked what he was going to wear for your date. I often ask what the guy is wearing so I can get an idea as to what type of evening it will be, then dress accordingly. First impressions go along way. Remember you may not get a second chance to make that first impression!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

you're missing the most important question Posted: 12/27/2006 1:02:25 PM
Interesting thread! I don't find it odd that there would be many insecure people on an internet site. One can hide behind the site and either not reveal alot about themselves or make up a persona and run with it. I think that is why many people never connect or want to chat forever and never meet.On a free site you would probably find even more people of that nature. Just a matter of sorting out insecurities and finding who's real out there.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

OK - wanna pick ur brains.... Posted: 12/27/2006 12:51:19 PM
She's looking for a sugar daddy! And if you have no problems with that, then go ahead. But in return for what ever she gives you, remember, she will expect alot. As the saying goes... a fool and his money will soon be parted!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

What's Going On In This Man's Head???? Posted: 12/23/2006 6:41:39 PM
You need to set boundaries between you and him. You are allowing this to continue and it could become dangeruous. He will continue to try to controll you and your life if you allow this to happen. I understand that you have children together, but it is not good for them to see how the two of you interact. Set times and days when he can see the children, if possible meet him somewhere to drop off the children so he is not spending time at your place. But before you even do all this, go to court and establish some sort of legal documentation that he must adhere to. Good luck!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Out alone? Posted: 12/23/2006 6:23:53 PM
Join some club activity, meet other women who are single and cultivate a group of friends you can hang out with! If you are looking for male companionship, then get to know a couple of guys from the internet. I've met some interesting people that way. I don't like going to bars either, but I have many other interests.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

How do you interpret your date not being able to make eye contact? Posted: 12/23/2006 5:54:05 PM
No eye contact, no interest! Most people, if interested will eventually have eye contact. Also since you haven't heard from him, assume he is not interested. I had this happen to me at one date that I went on. I thought it very rude that the person couldn't even look at me! Even if I feel that this will be only one date, I have the couresty to give my date my full attention, unless he's acting like a complete jerk! The date I had, gave the waitress more eye contact than me! He too called me one time after the date, but that was it. I don't think that I would have gone out with him again anyway. If someone goes out of their way to meet you, I think you should at least take the time to make them feel comfortable. I wouldn't worry about your date, there will be a next one that will probably go much better. keep fishing!!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

what do you say when the gift is too much?? Posted: 12/23/2006 5:41:30 PM
There really is no problem here. The solution is very simple, thank him and return the gift! This happened to me once and I knew that I couldn't possibly accept the gift, it would be wrong and send the wrong signals. I nicely told him that the gift was lovely but I couldn't accept such an expensive gift. To keep a gift that is given when you feel that the relationship is not going in the direction of a romance is very unfair to the person who gave it to you. He might initally be upset, but he will respect you later.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Living in the closet... Posted: 12/12/2006 7:58:24 PM
My question to u is why do u continue to live in the closet? U say u are worrried about your family disowning you, but u have disowned yourself. Your depression and misery are hinged upon your inability to accept who you are. U cannot force yourself to live a lie, its not healthy. Your preception of how others may view you if they were to find out, may be unfounded. I'm sure that if they knew the reason for your misery, they would rather accept and love you for who u are than see you torture yourself like u are currently doing. Sometimes coming out is the hardest thing to do, but it can be the most liberating thing you will do.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 137 (view)

The REALISM of Southern Charm........... Posted: 12/12/2006 7:38:06 PM
This southern hospitality thing and it's charm is sooo over rated!!! They never say what they mean, they take toooo long to react to everything, by the time u find out(if u find out!) if they are interested, you could count how many times u yawned or caught yourself nodding out! Many times they smile in your face and talk about ya behaind your back! Give me honesty, the ability to communicate clearly and up front any day. oops! did I just give away the fact that i"m a yankee!!!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Do you like to talk first, or meet right away? Posted: 10/22/2006 12:32:31 PM
I will email for a couple of days, if there is anyinterest in the conversation, then I like to hear the voice that goes with the conversation, if we survive that phase then i like to meet at a public place to see if there is any chemistry. I don't like to email for long periods of time, it's boring and starts to make me suspious that somehting is being hidden. A first meeting need not be costly.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

How do YOU handle rejection? Posted: 10/22/2006 12:24:37 PM
some people are thin skinned and have low selfesteem therefore they can't hadle rejection. In life there will always be some rejection, but you have to know how to make lemonade when throw some lemons!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Im realy upset! Posted: 10/22/2006 12:20:16 PM
I agree with the other people who have said that you should not introduce your children to your dates until you, yourself have gotten to know the person much better. Children should be spared knowing someone, that later on turns out not to be serious relationship material.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

ingredients for a good relationship Posted: 10/22/2006 12:16:21 PM
Sugar spice hot sauce. knead the dough and watch it rise! Just joking! Trust, communication, friendship, laughter,honesty, self knowledge.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Oh Well Posted: 10/22/2006 12:12:22 PM
What the heck is going on here!!!! Why is everyone wallowing is self pity! It's over, for better or worse, lessons learned, move on etc....

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Touching lives ......whether big or small Posted: 10/17/2006 7:53:18 PM
As a teacher, I have often wondered if I had made a difference in any of the children's lives that I have come across year after year. Sometimes it can be thankless job. Well when I first moved to NC, I recieved a letter that had been postmarked over and over, following a trail of my three different addresses that I had resided in since NYC. I curiously opened it and the letter was from a former student of mine that I had taught when she was about 7 or 8 years old. I teach exceptional children, and at the time she was labeled emotionally disturbed. I felt she was wrongly placed and worked with her mother to find the proper setting for her. At the time she was the cutest thing, very shy, smart, some odd behaviors. I hadn't had any contact with the family after that year, so I was very shocked and pleasantly surprised to recieve the letter. It was beautifully written and she had enclosed a graduation picture of herself. She was now in High School. She gave a phone number and asked if I would call, which I did. She has blossomed into a lovely young lady and a far cry from what I had in my class back then. I tell you that that letter was meant to find me, to reassure me that I have been doing the right things and my work is not in vain. As I recall this, it still brings tears to my eyes!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Hey.... what just happened here?? Posted: 10/10/2006 3:59:23 PM
Why is the world did u even pay for his food! And worst yet still keep on seeing him! Tones are set in the beginning of relationships, if we allow people to do stupid things and get away with them, then the whole relationship will stay that way, it never gets better. u figure that someone will always put their best foot forward when u first start dating, so if this is how he is acting right up front, you know he's trouble.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

What's in a voice? Posted: 10/9/2006 6:31:44 PM
The voice is the cincher for sure! After chatting for a while, I can't wait to hear what the person sounds like. I am very much into voices. If the voice sounds ok then I am more intrigued in meeting the person face to face. Pesonality, voice, style, all count. These are things that can compensate for looks or lack of them. A man can be extremely sexy without being handsome.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

fist kiss on the first date Posted: 10/3/2006 6:54:01 PM
The thing with the first kiss on the first date is, that u have to be in tune enough to know when its a good idea or not! Sometimes u can pick up a good vibe from your date and just can't wait to see what the kiss would be like, other times u are hoping that it won't get that far! I've had some first kisses that could set your soul on fire, not to mention heating up some other places! And then their have been first kisses that should have been avoided all together.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Strike, strike, STRIKE! Posted: 9/16/2006 9:06:29 PM
What u consider strikes are really assets! At 35 hopefully u know where u are going and what u want out of life. Your sexuality should be peaking. Having a child is probably the best thing in your life! Children tend to ground us and make us realize our priorities. Life is never fair, u just have to know how to swing with the punches. Rethink what u have, many people would probably love to be in your shoes! It's not hopeless, you are in the prime of your life!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

any secrets to firming up the girls? Posted: 9/16/2006 8:53:09 PM
It takes about 3 months before your body begins to get really toned up. Don't give up, keep the workout going. But once u stop they will go back to the way they were. I used to date a guy who worked for Ballys and he had originally told me this, and from what I could see he was right!

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Women best relationships? friends first or passion first? Posted: 9/16/2006 8:44:25 PM
I don't know why this is, but most of my long term relationships have been passion first. There seems to be an immediate attraction on both sides and the chemistry just kicks in! I don't know if it is like this for most people, but when I am friends with a man, it just seems to stay that way.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Ladies what drives you wild with desire? Posted: 9/16/2006 8:36:06 PM
The way he looks at me from across the room, how he slowly walks towards me, takes my face in his hands ...closes his eyes and kisses me hard on the mouth. Lifts me up carries me across the room.... by the time we get there I'm ready...

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Why no follow thru??? Posted: 9/16/2006 8:22:40 PM
He stopped because he got caught chatting on the internet! I am willing to bet that he was either married or had a significant other and that is why you got cut off. People don't normally cut u off in the middle of a conversation unless it was for a good reason. Take it as a warning.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 119 (view)

Men paying for the sitter ? Posted: 9/16/2006 8:14:18 PM
I would never expect a man to pay for a sitter. My children are my responsiblitiy! But once a man did ask me out and offered to pay for the sitter. I thought that that was a rare offer and found it a nice gesture, but would not allow it.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

How to deal with anger towards the other woman Posted: 9/14/2006 8:46:45 PM
For the life of me I will never understand the idea of a woman's rage against the "other" woman. There is no one to blame but the man!! It was totally up to him to partake in the relationship. No one can make someone do something unless they are a willing partyThe same goes for a woman who cheats. We are in control of our own actions, place the anger where it belongs.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Would you risk your heart again Posted: 9/14/2006 8:42:03 PM
2 quotes for u........ The open hearted and open-minded people are the strong ones... They have the most power because they give instead of take. They give and gain while the takers lose. and It is better to break ones heart than to do nothing with it.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one? Posted: 9/14/2006 8:36:16 PM
I think everyone is guilty of at least one undying love. There is always that one love we can never get over, even if that person was not right for us or caused us alot of pain. The difficult part is understanding why! Why still feel love for someone we know is not right for us? Does anyone have the answer for that question?

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 74 (view)

How long would you wait? Posted: 9/14/2006 8:24:38 PM
He already gave u the best advice when he told u not to wait on him. You are young and should not tie yourself to someone who is experiencing these types of problems. If you feel that u still want to see him when he gets out, that's up to you. By then your feelings might change or you might meet someone else along the way. Either way, continue to live your life, don't put it on hold for anyone.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Battle of the sexes....for lack of a better subject line Posted: 9/14/2006 7:57:02 PM
There needs to be some pursuit involved in the courting process of a relatiosnhip otherwise the person will not know if the opposite sex is interested! If it is too much effort then where is the romance, fun etc.. Once it is established that the person is interested one feels comfortable enough to retaliate the affections. Lack of interest could be translated into no interest! Now on the opposite end of things, someone should not be expected to go thru alot of drama to get somone's attention, that's just playing head games. At our age that's not necessary.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 82 (view)

If you want to be loved, be lovable. Posted: 9/14/2006 7:38:48 PM
People will seek out love and companionship even if they are bitter. It's seems to be a human need, even for those who are not ready for a new relationship. They still want some sort of validation that they are worthy of affection or love. But fail to realize that they must first love themselves before they are capable of receiving love from another. They look for others to supply a happiness that one can only find within themselves. Instead of taking time to heal and look within they project their angers and fears on others. So they will attract the wrong people and continue to get hurt. It's a vicious circle they are creating for themselves.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 135 (view)

Mens Underwear Posted: 9/10/2006 7:42:40 PM
Thongs and bikinis on men are just gross!!! Stick to boxers annd briefs, please!!! I remember having an experience once with a guy many years ago. We were going to be intimate for the first time and when he took off his pants he had on tiger striped bikini under wear. I thought i would burst out laughing, he looked so dam GAY!! I had to really try to put that picture out of my mind, but I couldnot ever be intimate with him again.

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

STINKIE.....PU!! Posted: 9/10/2006 7:25:43 PM
What if it's not her perfume?

tberry49

Joined: 4/11/2006

Msg: 99 (view)

Unconditional Love Posted: 9/5/2006 8:14:01 PM
I don't believe that unconditional love exists between lovers. I believe that that is reserved for family and even then it's questionable with some folks.

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