How Many RED flags did you ignore before you got wise? chat & forums.

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Thread: How Many RED flags did you ignore before you got wise?

msmidwest

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

How Many RED flags did you ignore before you got wise? Posted: 7/10/2007 7:55:59 PM
Sometimes red flags aren't as obvious but if you think about it ARE red flags.... For instance.... if you meet a man at a bar and he asks if you want a drink and you tell him no thank you ... does he respect you for not wanting to drink or does he insist on getting you a drink and buys you one anways??? That might not be a red flag because you can justify or try to justify it by saying, she really didn't mean no, she was just being polite etc etc... but later down the road, is he going to justify your no again??? Also .... In the beginning of the relationship, he is so into you and wants to see you all the time, he wants you to go everywhere with him and always have you by his side. Maybe you think it's so sweet and you just can't believe how into you this guy is and it's so wonderful.... but that is a great red flag of a controlling person... just in the beginning of a relationship it's seen as so romantic and sweet. Just some signs that red flags in the beginning of a relationship are overlooked and when you look back they can be so obvious. It's easy to brush things off in the beginning. Red flags aren't always big warning signs like abusive pasts etc etc. Red flags can be very very subtle.

msmidwest

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Girls having guy friends Posted: 7/5/2007 4:36:30 PM
Ok .... what's the deal.... Every guy I meet at first says that it's cool with them that I have guy friends... "ya ya of course, its cool". But THEN when I actually go and hang out with them, of course he could come if he wanted, it's a big deal... and he gets all jealous. Can guys not handle the fact that a girl has guy friends? Is it wrong that I have guy friends? What's everyones thoughts.

msmidwest

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 22 (view)

Move Over! This Is My Side Of The Bed! Posted: 4/10/2007 6:32:19 PM
Well if you read my huge novel on my page this was an issue with me and the ex. I spread out but I'm 5'3 he was 6' ... I'm sure he could push me over a little I dont' wake up for anything so it wouldn't bother me. AND I snore and YES my puppy sleeps with me NO EXCEPTIONS so ..... he made me sleep on the couch. I'll NEVER do that again.

msmidwest

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 26 (view)

What would you do if you were in this situation??? Posted: 4/10/2007 6:29:45 PM
Well everyone on here is very helpful!

msmidwest

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 17 (view)

What would you do if you were in this situation??? Posted: 4/10/2007 11:15:02 AM
well if this is for a friend .... what was your advice to her??? cuz as a friend I would tell her that he is not trustworthy, bring it up to his face and let him go.

msmidwest

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 3 (view)

why do you only get to see each other on the weekend? Posted: 4/10/2007 11:12:15 AM
I just broke up with my bf. many reasons for it but I do say this .... sounds like you have some insecurities ... for one, you are letting a dog get in the middle of your relationship. My BF said I gave the dog more attention than I gave him and that it got in the way of our relationship.... but the dog can be a means of bringing us together. How about all going for a walk? going to the park? playing together? Its up to you how you handle that....... I wasn't going to change my likes and my passion for animals for someone who thought it was in the way.

msmidwest

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Break up --- how to get the guy to move on? Posted: 4/10/2007 8:33:27 AM
You all help a lot -- reinstating my own feelings that I just need to cut it off. He holds me responsible for his happiness and says I need to fix it and make it right. I told him he needs to start taking responsibility especially at 30. He is very verbally abusive but of course says that is nonsense and that what he says is normal in an argument and nothing wrong with it. He says everyone he talks to can't believe I'm doing this to him. At times he makes me feel like I am crazy.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Break up --- how to get the guy to move on? Posted: 4/10/2007 8:15:08 AM
I broke up with my BF last week. I broke up with him in January and he begged me back so I finally gave in. Of course, he was the same and I couldn't take it. So I finally left. Now he's crying everyday begging me back, in tears at work, bawling at night. Then he goes where he gets mad and tells me just to leave. I know its normal to be angry and upset but I can't handle him. I can't handle the stress. I couldn't handle him when we were living together, I can't take it anymore apart either. He swears it can be "rectified" and that it will be different, but I can't risk it. I feel bad that he hurts like this but I can't do anything about it. What do I do?! Have you guys been through this with someone???

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 19 (view)

Friend going for your ex Posted: 8/2/2006 6:16:43 AM
Well its kinda a long drawn out situation. I guess this friend of mine has had a thing for him since before I met him, but I didn't know this. While we were together he told me and also told me he feels bad cuz he could never date her. Well, me and him had our problems cuz I'm moving in a year probably and he said he didn't think he could be with me knowing I was leaving. So he was always standoffish. So I told him I was seeing someone else and we ended it. Right away, he started talking to this friend. So I have a feeling he's just leading her on but maybe he does really like her, who knows. But, I think there are still unresolved feelings between us because he told me he wants to be with me but that its hard if I move and I still kinda have a thing for him...... DATING LIFE CAN SUCK!

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Friend going for your ex Posted: 8/1/2006 6:15:51 PM
UGH, does it aggrevate anyone else when a "friend" of yours all of a sudden has a thing for your ex? Or should you just be ok with it since it obviously isn't working between the two of you, maybe it could with them. I just think that even if a friend of mine has a thing for a guy, he is off limits to me.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 77 (view)

Why Men Love Bitches Posted: 7/26/2006 11:00:54 AM
MSG 77 (rainbowfissh) nope, I started this thread, I've enjoyed reading the replies also!! lol but I have to say that you really gave me the best info on it!

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 47 (view)

Why Men Love Bitches Posted: 7/25/2006 11:34:23 AM
Well it's been very interesting reading everyones replies!! I read a few inserts of the book online and it does seem like a very interesting book ..... it isn't about how to be the typical **** you run into at the store or elsewhere, it's about women who don't let others walk all over her, take advantage, and all of that. I went to the book store today to buy it ... I went to the self help / relationship section, looked at the book and then thought... is reading this really going to make me change my ways with men? Am I really giong to stop being the sweet girl who tries too hard at times and gets taken advantage of sometimes? Soooo needless to stay I put the book down and bought a book about outragous stories of medical cases -- (a woman who swallowed a toothbrush). So my question now to those who have read it .... after reading the book did you actually change some of your dating habits??

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Why Men Love Bitches Posted: 7/24/2006 8:20:36 PM
So ladies... who has read this book? What did you think? Guys... how do you feel/think about it?

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

Too Young? Posted: 6/27/2006 8:10:42 PM
Honestly..... I dated a 21 year old when I was 15 but because of that I have to tell your buddy that it is a MISTAKE .... ya, I was mature too but even tho I was mature, my mind was still in High School shit and his wasn't. You are at different points in your life that even tho you might think you are at the "same level" look at the differences in your lives right now......

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 12 (view)

How to get the guy? Posted: 6/27/2006 7:41:57 PM
You look like a very sweet and caring girl who will do anything for anyone and will take the shirt off your back for another person. Don't let people take advantage of that. Guy's see this and try to get away with whatever they can. It is amazing and the chemistry is unbelievable..... to you and him or just you???? And my guess is that the second things don't work out with this new girl he will immediately want to have more with you.... don't let a guy toss around a great thing. Stand up for who you are :)

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

CONFUSION!!!! Posted: 6/27/2006 6:56:28 PM
Ok.... I know I'm not good at doing what people say I should, but hearing people's advice helps me make up my mind !!! Here's the situation...tell me what you think? I've been seeing a guy for 2 months...I met him the day I broke up with my ex and he had just broken up 2 weeks prior. SO I told him I was pretty much on the rebound and he probably was too. He said he understood and he wanted to get to know me but also wanted to take things REALLY slow. Well its been 2 months and still no signs of committment. He calls me a few times a week just to chat and see how I'm doing. He has introduced me to his father. He has made me breakfast when I stayed the night. He gets upset when I don't respond to his text messages, he has told me that I'm growing on him... but ..... there are times that he doesn't call me back and just ignores my texts or takes a day to respond to a simple text. What is this supposed to mean?? Am I just analyzing too much? Or does he obviously not want any more from me and I should look else where?

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

When to bring it up [Exclusive Dating] Posted: 4/30/2006 7:16:57 PM
Ok, I have a question for ya'll. How long of seeing each other, or how many dates do you think you should go on with someone before you bring up the topic about being a couple or where things stand??

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Colorado ... American Flag Posted: 4/5/2006 8:32:24 AM
It really pisses me off that the high school has banned the US flag. I know they banned the other countries flags as well, but the American flag should NEVER EVER be banned from any place anywhere in the United States. This is insane and I don't understand where this country is going. If our flag offends someone.... then go somewhere else!!

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 56 (view)

is it ok to be picky? Posted: 4/4/2006 11:55:30 AM
I also am picky. I always say that I'm picky but I also hope that the guy is picky as well. I don't want a guy who will just settle for any girl. But I guess it also depends on what you are being picky about.... if you are being picky about every detail on a guy/girls looks... I don't think that is something to be picky on. But I think it's definately good to be picky in the personality, how he/she treats you, lifestyle, etc.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 49 (view)

Favorite ice cream Posted: 1/18/2006 8:51:39 PM
Cotton Candy from Maggie Moos.... yummmm :)

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 379 (view)

Class action against Yahoo Personals and Match.com for fraud Posted: 11/21/2005 6:06:15 PM
I don't think people can expect much from a computer dating site. Think of this.... the person you are talking to in IM's could be talking to 20 people at the same time and act like their full attention is on you or be watching tv, be talking on the phone, etc. , you can't tell emotions (sure they have these emoticons/smileys but does that portray the real emotion?), you can't see body language which sometimes says more than words themselves, you can't be 100% sure in any online situation that the person is who they say they are..... so I really don't see POF as a place to find a TRUE LOVE, more of a place to chat. For those that are sueing paid sites, maybe they should save their money from more online dating subscriptions and get out of the house and meet some people another way. This business is similar to all those "dieting" fads and similar trends that go around. You know they aren't guaranteed or probably not even legit, so why waste your time.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 21 (view)

How do you deal with an ex who wont let go? Posted: 10/28/2005 12:40:13 PM
I had an ex who I broke up with and he called me everyday for about 6 months, even tho I moved to Florida and he was still in Kansas. I finally changed my number because no matter what I did he had in his head that it could work. If I talked to him in any way what so ever, he saw it as a chance. However, you cannot do that because of your son. I think the best thing you can do is just tell him that the only reason you still have any ties to him is for your child. Everytime he brings something up that has to do with you and him, change the subject or talk about why you are even talking to him. Eventually you might be able to have normal conversations with him, but until he realizes this, you have to keep reminding him and only speak to him when it is absolutely necessary.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 14 (view)

Married getting divorced Posted: 8/13/2005 9:01:15 AM
hey yall....... thanks for the advice and input... I got rid of him.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Married getting divorced Posted: 8/12/2005 12:08:10 PM
Ok..... I met a guy who I really really like. I'm compelely falling for him. And anyone who knows me knows that I do not fall for guys, I've been into the single life of having fun lately. He has told me many times how much he likes me, so I don't question that..... but I just don't think he's ready for what I want. I want to be with him and him only. BUT.... he is 22, has a 5 month old son, just moved back to Florida and is going through a divorce. He was married 4 years but the marriage ended about a year ago and they are just now filing the papers. I just dont know what to think of it all or what I should do. I really really want to be with him, and we do spend time together but I don't know, I get confused cuz I know he probably isn't ready for a relationship. Anyone have any advice? I've had some people say stay away and some tell me to just take it slow, be there for him, and see where it takes us. I just don't know.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

Love or party? Posted: 7/17/2005 7:56:13 PM
I have been single for a little over a year now, I have dated a lot but it never lasts for very long at all. I'd like to meet someone to be with, but now I have met someone and can't decide if I want to be with him or stay single. It's so much fun being single, going out and partying and everything....but then again... it's nice to be in a relationship and not do that crap. UHHHHH decisions decisions!!! Is anyone else overly confused like me?! lol

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 13 (view)

Girls Night Out Posted: 3/13/2005 8:45:08 AM
oh... you all live far away :(

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

What if you can't talk to the one you love? Posted: 3/8/2005 6:07:16 PM
What happens if you fall in love with someone who speaks very little of your language? You can barely communicate to each other by speaking to each other..... would you try to continue that relationship?

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 21 (view)

What is a 50/50 relationship? Posted: 3/6/2005 6:28:31 PM
it should be 100/100 not 50/50

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 71 (view)

South Florida???? Posted: 2/24/2005 6:39:46 PM
Well the reasoning is I've been on this site for a long time and never find anyone so why not just make some friends out of it.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 69 (view)

South Florida???? Posted: 2/24/2005 4:38:03 PM
Same here, I have a date this weekend and I really like the guy, so maybe I'll bring him, but we still need to get this finalized lol come on someone set the date and place and lets make it happen.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 35 (view)

When to call??? Posted: 2/24/2005 4:35:39 PM
Ok OK thank you evreyone for all the help..... and you really did help. I finally called him and we have a date this weekend :)

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 29 (view)

When to call??? Posted: 2/24/2005 10:31:02 AM
aww thank you :) maybe i will get up the guts to call tonight and see if he'd like to get together saturday and write our paper..... i'm such a chicken.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 23 (view)

Um, a little help? Posted: 2/23/2005 7:45:47 PM
Hey Miss I completely feel you on this, I have posts somewhere on this site about this SAME EXACT thing! Mine finally is leaving me alone.... how?? I had to just ignore him.... he left text messages and voicemails but I just deleted them and didn't reply. Now he is moving on. He cannot be friends with me because he thinks if we are friends that we can be more. Its sad and hard to have to be that way and just cut it off without explaining yourself , but its the only way that worked for me, I tried eveyrthing.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 12 (view)

When to call??? Posted: 2/23/2005 7:42:16 PM
well i have to call before a week, our paper is due in a week and he wants to write it together.... so can't go by ur rule jivin :)

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

When to call??? Posted: 2/23/2005 7:23:20 PM
good point frank and gg. no games, no thinking into it, if I want to call, i guess i should call :)

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 129 (view)

WHO WOULD HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST DATE? Posted: 2/23/2005 7:21:59 PM
haha thats cute gg :) I have before, but I don't think it's a good idea.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 1 (view)

When to call??? Posted: 2/23/2005 7:12:19 PM
Ok.... a guy gives a girl his number.... should she call the next day or should she wait? if so how long??

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 65 (view)

South Florida???? Posted: 2/21/2005 8:11:29 PM
I"MMMM BACCKKKK! lol It feels so good to be back :) Ok, Hollywood park for the BBQ sounds great any park is good, I've been here since august but dont know the parks so Hollywood one off of Sheridan sounds good. Did we decide on the date yet?

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 54 (view)

South Florida???? Posted: 2/17/2005 9:21:48 AM
well i dont know the areas so well, i will find the name of the park up in ft lauderdale off of sample or cypress creek, we will have a bbq trhere, i'm leaving for costa rica in a couple hours so i'll check this again monday night!! take care everyone!

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 52 (view)

South Florida???? Posted: 2/16/2005 6:47:20 AM
How about the park ( i forget the name its huge ) off of Sample or Cypress Creek its up in Ft. Lauderdale. I dont really know of many parks around here. A BBQ would be fun I think. Any one else have ideas??? Any other girls joining me???

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 48 (view)

South Florida???? Posted: 2/15/2005 6:17:25 PM
I think that area sounds good also, I don't anyone to miss me but I have a very tight schedule with school, work, and church. How do those days a few posts up sound for everyone??? We also need a location within the area??

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 2 (view)

what's the deal with people from kansas Posted: 2/15/2005 2:37:59 PM
sorry eccentric i just moved away from there

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 45 (view)

March 18 or 25th South FLorida Posted: 2/15/2005 2:35:32 PM
It looks like a lot of south floridians.... we could hold one down here and also there could be one in tampa at erin's place. we could plan on in a month from now ( that way Im 21 also lol) but also so we have time to see if others come along and to invite others , make arrangements. So how does March 18th or 25th sound maybe in Ft. Lauderdale or West Palm Beach or even a little farther north or west. Just throwing out a couple dates and places.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 8 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here. Posted: 2/15/2005 5:19:29 AM
Hey!! I'm living in Florida, but I grew up in Missouri and still go back there. From a little town south of Kansas City called Harrisonville. I also have family in Ozark and Springfield. So it would also be cool to get in touch with some people back home, who knows I might be moving back there when I'm done with school. Kisses, Jackie

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 5 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here. Posted: 2/14/2005 9:22:33 PM
Hey There! My name is explained in my profile for those of you who get it mixed up, it means florida shy girl! I've been here awhile and love getting to know people, would like to find that one guy who I really click with but it just isn't happening yet. Check out the get together posted here

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 38 (view)

South Florida???? Posted: 2/14/2005 9:19:57 PM
UPDATE: Ok, I tallied the people into 4 areas: South 8 Tampa 6 Orlando 5 North 2 I'm leaving for Costa rica this week and won't be back til Monday, so I won't have any way to a computer until Monday. I'll check it a couple more times before I leave :) Hope we get this all figured out.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 25 (view)

South Florida???? Posted: 2/12/2005 9:12:06 PM
^^^^^^ NOT why we are having a get together.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 21 (view)

South Florida???? Posted: 2/8/2005 5:22:51 PM
well i have a very busy schedule and cannot usually stay over and then have to drive a long ways.... it doesn't seem like we'd have that many there. I think there are about 10 people total that are in florida that have responded. And yes, it seems to be almost all guys.

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 15 (view)

South Florida???? Posted: 2/7/2005 6:38:13 AM
come on people, lets get this bigger lol!

flshygrl

Joined: 8/15/2004

Msg: 13 (view)

Crush Posted: 2/7/2005 6:37:14 AM
What a great story... i loved it :) but i also loved the quote.... You do notice that the past tense of crush is "crushed"! Such an appropriate word! and that is why i won't talk to him!!! but i did find out that he goes to this class at my church that i for some reason quit giong to , so i'm just gonna have to start going again! lol as soon as i stopped going to it he started going.....we seem to always miss each other in those ways.... not sure why....

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