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Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Really need a few women to rate my profile Posted: 7/24/2006 4:16:17 PM
Thanks! And yeah, I didn't like that part about what I 'prefer' either. But some people say that you should just put down a list of things you are looking for and others say you should leave things open in case you miss something important. I tend to agree with the second choice and so I took that part down.

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

SOCAL meet and greet!!! Posted: 7/24/2006 2:46:50 PM
Sounds like a great idea. I'd love to come if I can. San Diego too far or can we be worked in too?

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Really need a few women to rate my profile Posted: 7/24/2006 12:06:15 PM
Alright, I really changed my profile a lot. So far, it hasn't produced any different results, but I think its a lot better than it was before. A picture of just me and a lot better description of who I am and what I'm looking for. So I suppose I'm asking if anyone would look it over again because I should probably see if I did it better this time. Aside from not having a really good picture of me, which I'm still working on.

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Why do women think we only want sex? Posted: 7/23/2006 8:52:27 PM
Well, I do have to comment here. While I'm sure a lot of the women out there are getting a lot of guys who are only hitting them up for sex, perhaps there are some things. Some of us have written quite a few messages to women on this site and never even had a response yet (yeah, I'd be one of them). This kinda makes us wonder if all the women are responding to men who either 1) Say the things they want to hear initially or 2) Are hot. Again...I don't want to say some or even many of you women are doing these things, but you have to wonder. There's just a lot of guys who aren't exactly bad looking or lying who are getting overlooked. And if there are so many guys than girls on this site, I don't know how 95% of us could be sex driven maniacs who want to get into a girls apartment on the first date. Or at the very least, how if most of the profiles of girls I read say 'I want a down-to-earth nice guy who will be there for me' and they have those guys contact them, but they don't reply to them because they don't ALSO have the looks or the specific 'flair' in their initial message. I think its just possible that some of those women might be finding those kind of men often because well...they go for them. Sub-conciously, conciously or just because they haven't found the 'good' one out of the group of guys who have the specific things they like (where the majority of guys who have those things want sex). Especially where I live, in Southern California, I really have to say that it is the more forceful and somewhat rude guys who look good that get the girls. Not just over the avg looking guys, but sometimes even just having good looks alone doesn't help here. I don't know what it is, but especially in my age group, a large percentage of women are going for the guys who are rude, especially to them. .....hope I explained that right. And hope it made some sense...

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Why do women think we only want sex? Posted: 7/22/2006 10:49:45 PM
You DO realize there are multiple women who just put 'SEX' in caps in their list of interests and many others who hint that they would want it on a first date if 'chemistry was right' (and I would gather they find that chemistry more often than not).

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

So Cal - Laguna Beach, August 19th Posted: 7/22/2006 10:41:31 PM
Hmm...I might be up for the idea, depending on what my schedule is when we get near that date. So....count me in! Kinda, lol.

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Really need a few women to rate my profile Posted: 7/20/2006 1:18:29 PM
Thanks. Those are a few ideas I thought it might be. I'll work on one of them when I get back in a bit but the picture one is gonna take time. Anybody else have any other suggestions?

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Really need a few women to rate my profile Posted: 7/20/2006 12:29:38 PM
Just wondering if some women could rate my profile. Be as harsh as you want because well, I haven't been getting any replies or messages in any way after being on here for a while and sending out more than a few messages. So I don't have anything to go on how I should change it. I suspect my profile either has something in it that is sending up some flag I didn't mean to or it lacks something that catches most girls eye. Again, do your worst! And if you want to have a rating in return, go ahead and tell me and I'll be happy to. Thanks!

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 536 (view)

Why are you single? Posted: 4/17/2006 12:44:48 AM
Why are you single? Um...cuz I'm not seeing anyone? Mostly because I made that lovely transition from being in school to suddenly not. And most people in that time suddenly find that a lot of their friends forget to contact them. So yeah, just a lack of options. Hopefully being here will change that!

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 518 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 4/16/2006 11:07:59 PM
I sent a few messages to people without images who's profiles were good. I'll get back to you if they respond.

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Honesty Posted: 4/16/2006 4:22:34 PM
I think you're confusing honesty and being an open book. Ah, I see what you're saying. That answers part of it. But there's still the whole matter of some girls saying they want honesty in a guy, yet go off and date (and continue dating) guys who are quite the opposite.

Secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Honesty Posted: 4/16/2006 3:36:11 PM
Here's a question for you. I think more than half the women who's profile I read all use the same phrase in it. 'I'm looking for a guy who's honest/an honest guy/someone who will be honest with me'. Now...my question is simple. What do you exactly mean by honest. Because, I can see two possibilities of what you mean. You either want a guy who just tells you everything and is completly open. Or you just want a guy who tells you how he's feeling about himself but not so much about everything else. Its been my experience that a guy who tells you everything and doesn't keep secrets is seen as having no flair, too open and not 'mysterious' anymore. The kind of guy you go for advice but not a relationship. Dispite what a lot of girls have said to me, they seem to go for the mysterious over the secure. So, in the case of myself, I'm really honest about myself, to a default. Read my profile and you'll see I just tell you everything I think someone should know, right down to what kind of person I am and a lot of what I'm looking for in a woman. And there's the dilemma. Am I telling too much? Should some of it be saved for a date or even later in a relationship? How about we get some ladies opinions. And I ask if I should just pass up when a girl says 'honesty' and read it more like 'I want a guy who I can't quite figure out, but I can trust JUST enough.'

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 196 (view)

WHY ARE MEN SO MEAN Posted: 4/15/2006 9:53:55 PM
Some men are mean as a coping mechanism. Some men are mean because they had a rough life (although that's no excuse to stay mean). Some men are mean simply because they're unable to openly express their feelings (IE show anger out of fear they might crack and show how much they like you). Some men are mean because doing so has attracted girls and kept them around (oh I've seen it girls, some of you follow them around as if they were Brad Pitt himself) And lastly, some men are just mean. PS: All of those go for some Women too. Along with multiple other causes seperate for Women.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

Why do guys do this ? Posted: 4/15/2006 9:45:22 PM
Why do guys do this ? Why do girls who are in relationships with other guys and know I at one time liked them call me up at random times during the night and ask me why their boyfriend got mad at them and did something I would totally never see myself ever doing to ANYBODY, let alone the girl I loved? I donno!? I've been asking the same questions! And what I've found is people don't think under extreme emotinal pressure. Even less when they're drunk. Even less when its about a relationship! So hey, I can only assume that it get's even worse when its someone you once were in a relationship with has no one else he can talk to and needs some support.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA Posted: 4/15/2006 9:15:30 PM
Hmm, if we can get more people, I'm all for coming to one.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 100 (view)

do you believe prayer can save a relationship?? Posted: 4/15/2006 9:04:40 PM
Prayer doesn't save a relationship. Your actions and their actions saves a relationship. If you prayed, but something didn't change, its because of what you both felt. Praying more might help you to accept the changes, but it won't have magically changed the outcome of what did or didn't happen in your relationship.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Appealing or Repulsive-- talk to me Posted: 4/15/2006 6:41:14 PM
I don't quite understand the question either. But I think I do partially. I don't know if never having been with someone makes you less likely to be able to get into a relationship, but I think it does. Just because of the fact that I'm in the same boat. Multiple get togethers and near-misses, but never an actual relationship. And basically what I think it does is it gives you a kind of different view of how relationships work and begin. Basically, we view things differently than the ones who have gotten into a relationship and realize how to do it. But yes, I don't know what, but there seems to be this invisible boundary that once people cross and finally get into a relationship, for most its a lot easier to get into another one right after. I donno if others see that, but I see that with all my friends and people when I was in school, etc. Just keep trying! There's pleanty of us in the same boat. Edit: And Red is also right. That's definitely the truth. Even myself, who is looking for someone to be with, finds myself looking towardsthose who aren't looking. I really don't know what it is...and I'm trying to fix it (why I came here and such). I think that's why some people complain that all the girls/guys they always like are always getting into relationships. Because you're going for the same ones the other guys/gals are.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 146 (view)

ARE VIRGINS MORE ATTRACTIVE Posted: 4/15/2006 6:34:38 PM
Personally, and I'm speaking VERY personally, there's good and bad sides to both. The way I see it, I want to be with someone at least in a long relationship before anything like that even happens. If she ends up having had sex before, then so be it. Experience, yay! But this bring up the possibility that she might not enjoy the act as much with me as she did the person(s) she had it with before. At least I'll know and hopefully if the latter is involved, we can work it out or she'll be able to tell me soon after if she's in it for sex or for other things. On the other hand, if she's a virgin, then both her and I can be totally new to the act. We can experiment and learn together, and won't be bound by comparing our partner to past partners. But of course, the drawback to that is one of us won't be experienced to help the other. And it can lead to one or both of us not being satisfied and wanting to find someone else. But you see, I'm BIAS. I'm a virgin. Perhaps I don't know fully how it goes, so take my views as you will. Sorry if that was a bit explicit for some of you guys.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Meeting New people.......Introductions? Question for the ladies..... Posted: 4/15/2006 4:55:37 PM
Cool. That's what I'm doing. I'll keep it up.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 195 (view)

Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women. Posted: 4/15/2006 4:13:00 PM
Yeah? I've actually never gone to a bar because I don't have a group to go with and thought it would be akward to just be there by myself. That nad I've heard that most times girls there are in groups and don't want guys randomly striking up conversations with them.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

question about an old girl friend(help) Posted: 4/15/2006 3:42:59 PM
I think it could be she's either bored or possibly a little scared about the prospect of marriage. She might be calling you for a very unknown reason. She might be even trying to sort out if she wants to get married yet and looking for an excuse not to, but trying to have someone else find an excuse not to. Or there could be needs like some others were mentioning.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 193 (view)

Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women. Posted: 4/15/2006 3:38:56 PM
What's up with the title of this thread. It should simply be 'Dating, sucks for guys, good for women!' Well, maybe except for the women who don't use their advantage. But I know some don't want to. Just realize ladies, you have the advantage if you want to take it! ...I just made a bunch of guys angry.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

Destined to be alone:))) Posted: 4/15/2006 3:20:52 PM
I had the destined to be alone feeling. That's why I'm here! But I think its just mostly coming from being out of school and not being around many people. So I'm hoping its just a feeling and I will find people.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

The Woman's Perspective Posted: 4/15/2006 3:11:16 PM
Haha, I was wondering if anyone was going to think that. Yeah, its my sister. I'll go add that to my profile. Thanks.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 168 (view)

Living together before marriage a bad idea? Posted: 4/15/2006 3:08:57 PM
It hasn't been my experience, and I think living together could work as long as it should work ANYWAY, but nearly all my friends have broken up with all the people they go and live with. The ones that are still together with people over 2 years are people who don't live with their SO. One pair have been together for 5-6 years and see each other nearly every day. But they just don't live together. So, donno what to tell you.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

What Do Men Prefer????? Posted: 4/15/2006 3:04:02 PM
Heh, well, gotta say Brunette. Although I was really attracted to someone who was blonde once. And no, not 'Blonde' (she was quite smart and not at all a ditz). But I'm probably less attracted to Blondes because of where I live. Same with super-skinny girls (which more often than you think, go hand-in-hand)..

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

Are you attracted to younger or older than yourself? Posted: 4/15/2006 2:59:34 PM
Well, I don't really think it matters much for me since I'm 21. I just tend to look for what's even avaliable! Younger is not much of an problem for me though since the youngest I can go is just 3 years younger than me. I'm mostly just looking for someone my age though. Someone between 18 and 23 or 24.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Whats the point........they dont read it anyways..... Posted: 4/15/2006 2:53:17 PM
Well, there are guys who read the profile you know. I've only been here a short while, but I've read the profile of every girl I looked at, a definitely every girl I contacted. And admit it, a lot of girls have a similar profile. How many profilesdid I read with the words 'princess' or 'just want to have fun' or 'go to the beach' in it? not really a complaint, but sometimes to get people to read your whole profile, you gotta spice it up and make it different from the others. Donno about yours yet. Gonna go look at it after I write this (which is stupid, shoulda read it first ). But even having read the profiles and clearly messaged people with commonalities we share from their profile, haven't gotten any responses yet (not complaining just saying). So in a way, I'd say just be happy you're having people send you stuff. And if you have room to complain that so many guys are sending you worthless messages....then you must be getting a lot of messages! Also there's the possibility you have been getting guys who message you having read your profile but you either didn't notice or are so paranoid that guys aren't reading your profile that you're deleting certain messages that clearly show they are. And perhaps some guys are reading your profile, but don't knowwhat to say and hope you message them back. I can see how after a guy is on tis site for a while and sends oh 20 good indavidual messages and no one responds, he might just want to take a break and start sending out a 'Hi, do you even want to respond to me? I'll talk to you if you do' message. I donno... Just a thought.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

The Woman's Perspective Posted: 4/15/2006 2:23:49 PM
Thanks. Still trying to find a friend with a digital camera. Anybody else? I gotta have something bsides my lack of images that needs a little bit of reworking. Anybody?

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Oh Gawd My Heart ( be nice) Posted: 4/15/2006 3:01:07 AM
Oddly, that sounds exactly like the situation my best friend and his girlfriend are in. Except he's the culprit. And eventhough he's my best friend, I've given up trying to mediate the problem and I'm THIS close to telling his girlfriend to let him go. Which she won't because she loves him too much. I really hope he either has a dramatic change in character or she realizes she can't take being nearly dumped by him once a month as a control mechanism and because he doesn't understand relationships...

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Meeting New people.......Introductions? Question for the ladies..... Posted: 4/15/2006 2:15:46 AM
This is also something I wanted to ask. I'm not really shy and I really want to just get out there and talk to the women on this site. But I'm at a loss to how to go about it. I've sent a few some messages saying who I am, why I liked their profile and I would be happy if they contacted me back. But so far, haven't had any answers. I assume you probably ave to send a lot of messages to get responces, but just to be sure I wanted to ask something. So my question is this. I don't want to try to play the game and use tricks to get people interested in me from my opening message. But at the same time, I would like to know if any such tricks exist. So that if they do, and I already am sending some people good messages, that I can just know its probably something else. Perhaps some people can share what things they have done in the past that has gotten responces and what triggered them to respond to others. It would greatly help me, and I'm guessing many others as well.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

The Woman's Perspective Posted: 4/15/2006 1:41:35 AM
Hi. I recently let two people look at my profile, but they were both guys. And of course, I can't call a profile aimed towards women complete when I only have a guys perspective on it, especially since its not for them. So is there any women out there who could take a quick gander at my profile and help me with a few pointers? Is it too long? Do I sound positive and keep from sounding over bearing? Does my description of my interests feel offensive or give you the information you actually want to hear? And most important, does it sound like I'm talking about myself too much? The one thing I know I need to change though is needing more pictures, which I'm still working on getting. Other than that, please be critical. Thanks for any help you can give however. Probably will go a long way in helping me use this site.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Mixed signals Posted: 4/14/2006 3:30:35 PM
If it was me, next time she got naked and such I'd just ask her flat out why she was doing it and if she liked you. I don't think you should do that in all honesty because the direct approach hasn't worked well for me in similar situations to that. But its just how my character is and, especially since she changes the subject when you do other things, it might get her to at least talk to you about it. But really, take it by ear. That's just one possible thing to do.

secondary125

Joined: 4/14/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

This one is for guys Posted: 4/14/2006 1:21:21 PM
What did your father tell you about how to be a man? What did he tell you about women? He told me absolutely nothing. That's why I'm having to learn it all by viewing other peoples actions and my own trial and error. But I mean I'm not angry at him because its just his personality. He's just the kind of guy who was extremly active when he was my age and got married when he was 22. Part of me thinks he just doesn't know what to tell me.

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