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Thread: One for the widows/widowers

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 96 (view)

One for the widows/widowers Posted: 11/12/2009 4:53:21 PM
i couldnt have said it any better... gloria.. you have hit the nail right on the head!!!!! any man worth his salt is going to appreciate the woman right in front of him.. because she has been there and back.. and there again... i feel that you will know in your deepest part of your heart when youre ready to take the steps you need to go on with your life.... the old adage comes to mind.. one day at a time.. for if you rush into something before youre ready to handle it.. it will leave you feeling desolated and cut off from everyone.. and then it will seem like forever to get you back on the way again.. so take whatever time you need to adjust and set your own pace.. if men today cant understand where youre coming from or what you expect.. then gloria is right.. throw him back in.. the lily pond and wait for the right frog to jump on your lily pad... hang in there,,hon.. youll make it .. i am rooting for you.. angel

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 95 (view)

One for the widows/widowers Posted: 11/12/2009 4:47:55 PM
i just want to say to you.. honey bea.. that you have a very wise attitude... i have dated widowers.. and like you said.. some men just arent ready to accept that thier life must go on.. im sure in the back of everyones mind that have been in this situation. that they have secondary thoughts that they might be cheating on their dead spouses.. but you must realize that your spouse that has passed on wouldnt want you to grieve forever.. they must have found you vibrant and passionate.. qualities that i am sure that they want you to share with someone else.. since they are no longer there to do it with you.. its not about sex.. i know its in the mindsets of some.. but honestly.. there is more to a relationship besides that.. no one takes the time to get to know any one 's character anymore.. its a real shame because as individuals ,, we have so much more to offer to a prospective new partner if one would only take the time and effort to pursue it all... i am divorced,, but have found some lovely men who had been widowed for some time that are still struggling to find themselves .. after losing their respective loved ones.. so my ad vice to you is simply this.. dont hold yourself to high expectations.. but do allow yourself to be adventureous and to explore all the opportunities that could lead to a longer lasting relationship.. somewhere down the road to sharing many memories with someone.. do hang in there.. and the same rings true for widows alike everywhere... i didnt mean to exclude you from the whole analogy of this.. you are human.. and as such.. everyone makes mistakes.. dating nowadays is nothing like it used to be back in the day... we were used to men courting us and meeting our families.. but in this day and age.. things move at such a momentuous pace that no one takes the time to smell the roses anymore... it is all assumed and no one should take anything for granted... i know i dont.. i just count my blessings and keep on putting myself out there.. eventually.. ill find that special someone and you will too... in me ,, you have a friend and confidante .. i am rachel

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 708 (view)

People who think you are hot V2. Posted: 12/10/2008 7:43:21 PM
i think that you are very intense.... brooding to a degree... quiet .. romantic.. adventurous.. and sexy...

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 220 (view)

Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married? Posted: 3/29/2008 8:31:46 AM
i have gone out with several men who are over the age of 35 and never been married.. some past 45 as well.. i thoroughly agree with everything that you have said in your post.. most men are afraid of committment.. i have had some that want ed long term committments.. but when it actually came right down to it.. they couldnt bring themselves to really support it.. they used this site for sexual purposes only... that doesnt make for many women to want to put themselves out there.. but i dont let it deter me.. im looking for a man who really wants to be with someone through it all... good and bad.. someone i can count on to be there to support me as well as i would him for what ever time the good lord gives us to be together.. there is nothing wrong with that concept... just a way of thinking... sure most of us have had bad relationships where trust was an issue.. and honesty was over rated.. but the die hards in all of us want to keep on believing that there is good in everyone... i believe there is someone for everyone.. so ill keep searching.. and so will you and everyone else... look me up if you want.. im a good hearted lady.. who gives over 110 percent to any relationship i encounter.... hopefully, one day .. ill find mister right who wants to be there for all time with or without a marriage certificate.. life is what we make of it.. it involves risk taking.. it involves being alive and glad of it.. it involves being appreciated and appreciating all that is around you....

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Question for women 40-50 looking for a long term relationship? Posted: 12/10/2007 3:51:16 PM
i totally agree with the lady whos 52=== those women were looking for an outlet for thier frustrations... i too had a similiar experience with someone from in here.. he talked to me non stop for 4 months.. had me believing even after meeting him... having dinner with my family... had my kids calling him dad.. and grandkids his and mine calling me grandma and mine calling him poppie...wrote me beautiful love letters telling me i was his soul mate... nothing would stop us from communicating our feelings or dreams or fears... well, something happened... he just stopped calling , emailing,,, wouldnt return my calls ,, or anyone elses,,, said finally he had to work some things out for himself... which i gave him that time to do so,,, but i never found out what it was that he needed to figure out for himself... so i have moved on .... but to get to your questions.... here goes.... i think that from my personal observations that you need to discern right up front ..... go o the core of the conversation and ask point blank what the women youre talkng to are out for... do they really want a long term committment or a short term? what do they want out of a relationship? what was their longest relationship? ask them how they parted..... was it mutual or did things esclate to the point that they couldnt resolve their differences? what was it that attracted you to the other person in the first place? how soon before you became totally into each other did you decide to become intimate? did you wait for awhile or was it just physical attraction that made you jump the gun so to speak? just for the record,,, i answer anyone that emails me in here,,, i do set up a meeting almost immediately...in a public restauant for breakfast or coffee..... talk about whats important to me in a relationship.... i am a very assertive lady that knows what she wants... i post that in my profile... im not looking for a one night stand.. i want a man to romance and court me the way that they did a long time ago when it meant a bit of respect for me and himself.... i know that most men nowadays want that quickie time and for me that means they are selfish.... and yes ,, there are a good deal of men that use this site for just that purpose.... but for the most part.. they all want girls that are skinny... they dont look beneath the surface for the goodness that a lot of women have to offer a man .... im not the greatest looking woman in the world... but i have a heart of gold and a lot of love to give to the right man who sees that in me... and i have a lot of respect for myself as well... i know what i want.. i state that up front.. and lets face it... most people in here misrepresent themselves to others.... but mostly to themselves... sooner or later,, they will have to grow up and recognize that in themselves... or one would like to hope that they would... i know i tend to go on and on about this... but you do have to go on looking.... but if youd like to discuss this more with me... please feel free to look me up and lets meet to see if you and i can agree with each otherrs views..... im rachel id be honored to meet you .. anytime... just say the word.... not all of us ladies are mean and rude.... some of us are quite nice.... take my word for it or just come meet me.... thanks for letting give you my point of view....

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Excuse me everyone, can you please review my profile? Posted: 11/2/2007 6:25:32 AM
1...... most women want honesty... some men will provide it upon request... 2...... speaking for myself,,, i appreciate honesty,, communication is a must,,, laughter and being able to laugh at ones self,,, 3......vibrant--- a fresh new way to start the day with a lot of energy to face anything life throws at you... 4.......im not desperate--- just want to find someone who really wants to take the time to find out if there is a possibility of a relationship and is willing to go that extra mile for someone... 5.....i think that the emails and phone calls should come first before that first date.. that allows you to find out something more about the other person besides ht ,, wt,, color of eyes and hair, etc... 6......last butnot least--- you should take things slow and easy--- after all ,, who wants to rush into anything serious before you have a chance to be friends first,,, that is so important in this day and age--- most people rush in where angels fear to tread and then they usually get hurt... or taken advantage of,,, and then they are right back where they started.... at square one... life is more than just sex between two people... there is a whole new world out there.... get out and enjoy it with someone special that might be a lasting factor in your life if you both give it a chance....

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Please review my profile Posted: 6/7/2007 9:19:27 AM
look for the positive--- maybe you need to refresh what it is youre looking for so far,, it all looks good to me--- nothing wrong with the pics just lose the hat --- be yourself and be honest really honest nothing turns women off more than liars and dishonesty... or trying to be someone youre not--okay?

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Please review my profile Posted: 6/7/2007 9:16:26 AM
first off lose the picture with the hat--- secondly widen your profile horizons with the age thing--- most women find it offensive thirdly the rest of your profile is awesome-- make sure its all true or someone will think that that youre too good to be true and not pay attention to replying to it.. other than that----- youre hot!!!!which im sure that you alreadyknow that right? too bad youre so young i could go for you .. although i have been with younger men in the past .. most dont have the stamina to keep up with this older lady.... i have a high energy level and am very passionate about life and love and lovers hope you appreciate the input that i have generated here to you and that it helps you get the woman///women youre looking for.... should you just need a friend to chat with and bounce ideas off of look for me or put me on your favorites list good luck

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 317 (view)

As a guy, I find it offensive... Posted: 6/7/2007 7:29:36 AM
i find that honesty is overrated these days---i myself have a job that brings smiles to ev eryone i meet for the most part--- when i tell men what i do for a living ,,, sometimes theyll ask why or insinuate something sexual about it ,, but for the most part, they act interested... i make good money and i have a lot of fun,, get to travel and meet people of all cultures, and really enjoy something that im good at--- making memories for kids of all ages to hand down to their kids and grandkids.... but then a lot of people men and women alike dont like their jobs..... when i ask a man about his, im trying to find out if he really has a feel for his job or if hes just passing time till he finds himself... i really dont care about how much money he does or doesnt make-- i try to base my feelings on whether or not he wants to pursue a friendship or even something more lasting in a relationship===i try to analyze if he has character which for the odd reasons or two-- men seem to want to hide --- why cant everyone just be themselves to see if they will be liked or not? i am very upfront and personal about me--- i feel if a man doesnt like me the way i am then they need to keep on searching for someone thats fake and will feed their ego... i am a very realistic woman-- im full figured working on myself and wanting to look better for me--- i have a lot to offer a man who wants a committment somewhere down the road----but im not in any hurry to rush into one either...real love takes time to build on and i have time to wait--- although i dont know Gods plan for me,,, i want to make sure its for real and going to last ....so i live for today and if i make it to tomorrow,,, then its all okay!!!!! thanks for letting me set things straight ,, at least from my end....

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

LADIES IS THSI ENOUGH INFO? Posted: 2/22/2007 9:57:20 AM
first of all, rick--let me say that for most of us ladies out here --- yes you have some things that you ve posted are ok, but if you really want to have a good response, i feel that you should include that fact if youre romantic, affectionate, fun loving, etc.... tell what you expect from the relationship and what ypes of food that you like to eat---so if youre setting up a restaurant date, then the lady knows what tickles your fancy and she can adjust herself accordingly--- if you get the chance to read my profile, it may give you a clue as to how most women think--- im not saying that i speak for all of them , but its been my experience in here along with other places that women like to know quite a bit about your personalities before they embark on a date face to face......... the other thing is that some women for whatever reasons dont like posting their pictures-- i think that if a man really wants to know what a woman looks like, theyll wait till the date to find out----some of the pictures posted in here with the men are outdated or something they picked out of a magazine-- but for the most part--pictures dont do anyone justice--- i for discreationary reasons and a computer crashing, dont have mine in here either, just in case you were going to say wheres your picture/ lets talk again soon hugssssss

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 90 (view)

Slim, Slender, Average, Athletic, Fit....now what??? Posted: 2/4/2007 11:51:54 PM
i for one would like to say to all the women out here on this site---that if youre upfront and honest with the men that you talk to===then whatever yoru weight is is what youre happier with-- i too am a full figured woman and i tell that to anyone i talk to in here or anywhere else---i have been on this site for well over a year and i can tell you from personal experience that i dont have a picture posted in here for a variety of reasons---none of which are my weight== most men as a rule want a barbie tyoe of woman little do they realize that those kind of women are very shallow minded and only care about being eye candy for men who want fluff on their arms----i take it very seriously when i tell a man about me in general----i know that they arent all they say they are either--- i have had several nice men take me out and do some very nice dinners and theater events that they have taken me too===others i have met for coffee and once they see me im sure that im not what they envisoned===but i have found that being personable and honest about my size has made me a challenge to most men--- i am very proud of myself i started on this workout and healthy diet regimen a year ago=== i have lost over 65 pounds and 5 inches off my body---i still have a loong way to go but in the next two years i plan on being where i was before i started having kids--- most of the men i have been with have accepted me the way i am because they look past the heavier part of me---i make them laugh, forget their troubles for a while , im a good listener, and im very sensual and loving and it takes the edge off when they are overworked and under appreciated at home---therefore, iwant to sayto those women out there who aretrying to deal with their weight==takeheed and be confident about who you are and what your goals are and believe it or not,most men will eventually come to their senses and realize what a gold mine that they have right in front of them in order to be a happy camper=== im having the time of my life meeting new guys every day--yes , i still give out my number and for themost part , i get several calls back even after they know that im heavy ...but im also confident that one day , soon , i will find my prince charming who will sweep me off my feet and want me to be the one who makes him happy to be with me when hes had a hard day and knowing that ill be the one who will make him smile and feel like a million bucks ---

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

What would you say is the number one reason a women would reject a guy for? Posted: 1/16/2007 10:57:47 AM
let me start off by saying this-----most men put so much stock in a picture that they fail to see the beauty of the person behind it----that is why most women reject men---- a picture is worth a thousand words--but if any man was really honest with themselves, theyd realize that any one can put anyones picture on here and its not really theirs... i myself do not post for that reason--- i tell them what i look like.. i dont have any reason to lie about it and if they dont want to meet me for that reason.....be honest enough to say so----i expect honesty as well..... then i give a phone number to see if theyd actually call ----most of them do and its been very gratifying to meet them after 2 phone calls---if they dont take the time to get to know me, then they are not worth meeting and then i dont waste myprecious time---or theirs---i know what im looking for and what i want out of life and it goes without saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder..., that is the only way ill meet someone and if neither of us likes what we see , then we go our separate ways and no one gets hurt---so give some of us a chance ---i make it a point to meet everyone i talk to if theyre in driving distance of where im at---i feel its worth the effort to make a new friend but thats me... im a very friendly person----ill be back in ny in the month of may and id like to meet you---if youre willing---you can check me out if you want//// my profile is in here and on several other dating sites---im very popular and l like to know its because i gave them a chance to show me the real them-----looking forward to any response to my post---- :

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Found someone.. Posted: 1/14/2007 11:30:33 PM
im so glad that you found someone to make you happy----you deserve to be that after what youve been through--- let me know if it works out or not--as your friend, ill be curious but wish you the best--- i hope that all goes well with you at your meeting with this girl---

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 139 (view)

does anyone ever reply to mail Posted: 12/29/2006 7:44:29 PM
i answer all my emails it takes me over an hour a day but i make sure that everyone that emails me gets some kind of answer some i take longer to write because i like what they have to say and others get a short quick note that i hope will become a longer one later on if they decide that they want to meet and go from there,,,,, i think that its important to acknowledge those that take the time to write out of their busy day and to let them know i like the profiles so that they ll write back if they are interested in pursuing a friendship or other relationship otherwise its rude if you dont and if you dont want to answer them then why bother being in here at all? i myself am on 6 dating sites and i usually dont have a lot of time but i do manage to answer all those that do email me and im glad to do so

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

When do us good guys get the woman? Posted: 12/29/2006 7:30:25 PM
surely not you griff i know from personal experience that youre one of the good guys funny nice a lot of fun on a date knowledgeable about the area and all its finer points and definitely sexy i wont let you be bitter youre a great man thank you and to all you other bitter men out there let go of the past and it will free you to be a better man and make you a lifelong partner for someone that s looking for a good man to be there no matter what-----start out as friends first then the relationship will last longer......

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

When do us good guys get the woman? Posted: 12/29/2006 7:25:45 PM
when you wake up and smell the coffee fellows look beyond the surface of what women look like and explore their hidden talents and dont laugh at their dreams if you really want a good woman, then stop looking at the pretty faces with no brains and look deeper into your soul and heart to see what is right in front of you---- a woman who gives a damn about what you want and how she can make you happy rather than a piece of eye candy that doesnt care about anyone but herself and how she can use you to get what she wants and then dump you for someone better looking and with more money----- more than what you can give her look for the one who is not so perfect and then youll have found more than enough to make you happy

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

When do us good guys get the woman? Posted: 12/29/2006 7:20:44 PM
i agree with you as well if most men would take the time to look beneath the surface and stop playing around with the girls who are little miss petite with nothing under that pretty face but fluff and no substance then they find the one they were meant to be with but guys being the ones with the eyes for the one in the candy shop just want eye candy on their arms dont care if they look anywhere else till she dumps them for another one just as good looking as they were men helllllllooooooooooo wake up out there theres more to life than just a pretty face the rest of us ladies that are looking for you good men out there need for you to get your eyes back in your heads and look closer at the one (s) you passed up in order to go out with the barbie dolls those are the real women in this world-----you better grab them before they disappear to those bad boys out there and then you will have lost out on a really good person who could/would have made you happy lets face it boys would you really want a woman to treat you like a dog or do you want someone that will make you feel fulfilled and whole as a man someone to come home to every night that really gives a damn about whether you had a bad day or not hmmmmmmmmmmmmm lets see yes no which one do you think is the right answer , guys? happy new year all

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

When do us good guys get the woman? Posted: 12/29/2006 7:01:07 PM
i agree with GRIFF======= in most respects ladies, you need to broaden your horizons just a bit and lower your expectations, because if you're looking for MR RIGHT to be on a pedestal, most men just wont measure up no matter what your expectations are...... most guys simply want the same as most women : someone to care about them and not be afraid to say so....yes, i know that it's a touch and come look and see situation in here , but if you don't become more open minded and laid back (no i don't mean laying on your back,) i simply mean be more easygoing about life in general, then no, you'll never know if the man or men you're passing up is going to be THE ONE FOR YOU! the good ones are usually taken by all the barbie dolls in the world and like the guys,, yes, us ladies, at least most of us take pride in our appearance... but ,you'll find out as time goes by that everyone gains some unwanted weight and men lose their hair (no offense to all you baldies out there who like their heads shaved) , but at some point in time, we're all a little vain about our looks and anyone who says differently is lying mostly to themselves..... but if you truly believe that you're a good person, before you know it , there he or she is right under your nose and then you are all set to find out if you can get past all the crap and really settle down to knowing what your partner really wants.... stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and just go for it... you'll never know if you don't take the risks more than once.... speaking for myself, no i haven't found MR RIGHT yet, but i'm sure having a lot of fun trying in here..i have met several really nice guys , went out with some, talked on the phone with some , widened my circle of friends, and have been happy with everyone i've come into contact with ---i've been on here for over a year . i wish the best of luck to all you guys out there that haven't met me yet,, and like i said, just keep on trying... read my profile if you want.. contact me .. i'll give you a shot and see where it goes ... warning all of you ahead of time that i'm very forward and confident in my own skin---full figured and proud of it.. if you don't like whats' in this cookies' jar,,, keep on looking ... you'll find it if you look hard enough past the initial surface and get to the heart of what really matters the most to you-----thanks for letting me get this off my chest good luck all

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 177 (view)

30 yr old guys what's with the attraction to 50 yr woman Posted: 12/23/2006 11:00:42 AM
you seem to have hit the nail right on the head of matters at hand----\\ yes, most of us over the age of 40 do appreciate men, especially younger ones for the simple reason is that most of them have more stamina in keeping up with us older gals who like longer sex sessions---i for one am having the time of my life being able to explore and taking journeys down paths never before open to me when i was younger... looking back on all this , i would venture a guess as to say you're only as old as you feel i think that older women are like fine wine the more it ages the better the sparkle and taste becomes..my daughter who is in her early 30s says i have more action than she'll ever see in her lifetime--perhaps it because i see most people at face value and i dont go after a man because of what he looks like....i like to read the profiles and see what they want from sex and life and if it appeals to me then i go for it!!!!!!!! i know a lot of them spout chemistry and as a rule there has to be some but you cant predict what they'll feel like until you take a chance and meet them in person...which by the way is a good idea in a local restaruant---no one holds a gun to your head to stay if you dont want to and if you don't hit it off sexually or otherwise at least you got out of the house and off the couch---and you may have made a new friend.... i , myself have found that for the most part, men and women alike just want someone to hold them once in a while to let them feel wanted---what is so wrong with that? everyone wants to feel loved and wanted at some point in their lives---and again , some people aren't really honest about their pictures or their profiles , but, if you don't take a chance then it's possible that you may pass up an opportunity to have found a real person for a lover or maybe something more permanent down the road-----.anyone else want to comment on this i'd be very much interested in your viewpoint! .

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 173 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here. Posted: 11/9/2006 8:22:08 PM
hi gregg---how are you im half italian and id like to be friends with you aswell---im i n saratoga springs area im rachel just moved here from missouri and would like to get together some time soon just holler if you want to get together---okay? :

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 172 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here. Posted: 11/9/2006 8:18:47 PM
hello tony im new to the new york area im currently in saratoga springs area and am looking to meet AND make new friends to go out with and have a conversation with---im a full figured gal and one half italian....im very outgoing and easy to get along with have several interests...am interested in the history of a city and go to great lengths to research it ... like the theater, concerts, walks in the park, spontaneous, romantic , etc....answer back if anyone likes these things and more---im very laid back and very easy going----i like to laugh i also have a full time job and the hours also make it hard to make friends locally--- my name is rachel

Joined: 4/18/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

nyc party for pof Posted: 10/19/2006 9:51:06 AM
i think that a nyc party for all members who want one is a super good idea! what better way for everyone to finally meet and get together---lets do a masquerade theme for the holidays with everyone dressing up---sounds like a cool idea an all white or all black dress theme goes well too---let me know what anyone thinks--- im new to the area and i think thats a swell idea for all concerned----

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