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 Author Thread: An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 502 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/24/2009 7:13:50 AM
^^^^ Yeah, it's amazing what happens when you actually pay attention to other people instead of going with knee-jerk reactions.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 500 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/24/2009 6:54:07 AM

Can't the CS receiver put in a fair share?


Why are you making the assumption that they aren't? Not only do most CP's put the bulk of their income into food, shelter, etc for the children and themselves, but they're also doing the bulk of the non-financial.

How often does an NCP have to miss out on hours at work because of a sick child? How many sleepless nights do they have with the children? How many activities do they have to organize? How much extra housework do they have? How many have had to drop out of post-secondary education as a direct result of lack of child care or lack of money? I could keep going with this, but I'm sure you get the point.

As long as NCP's want to split the financial at exactly half and ignore the rest of the responsibility, they're doing themselves and their children a huge disservice.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Finding relief in reading the forums.
Posted: 11/24/2009 6:09:39 AM
To tell the truth, most of the time when I finish a round of forum reading I come away with a sense of relief. As crappy as some of my days have been, there's always someone here going through much worse... or I come away with it feeling better about myself.

"I might be alone, but at least I'm not stupid enough to put up with that!".


I have to say, though, that I didn't realize how deep and widespread the mistrust and downright hatred of either sex was until I started here. I had no idea how many bitter people there were, or how there are people who would analyze/write others off over the simplest crap.

There's also the pure entertainment....

"He didn't order me a second drink! Does this mean that he's a sociopath with bodies buried in his basement?"

"She didn't call me back after I felt her up in the parking lot and made out with the waitress in front of her! Frigid biotch doesn't know what she's missing out on!"

I need another hobby....
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 497 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/24/2009 4:50:17 AM

I have given my take on the reform of the child support system often in this thread. It is also not my fault your your not able to understand/ or keep up. I will also reitterate that there are FAR more parents DIRECTLY involved with the court system and children of divorce who are unobjectively affected but the unemotional number crunchers.


Oh.. you got me..

Actually no. I see your points quite well, I just disagree with them because they are more about the parent than the child. I have yet to see anyone who thinks that they should pay less child support make a viable claim as to why their child should have to make do with less so that they can have more in their wallet.

As for the unemotional number cruncher bit, you really ought to stop making stupid assumptions. That's why I have so little in my profile; because when I make a point that someone else can't refute they resort to attacking me instead of what I've written. I also have to question the intelligence of someone taking a quote meant for someone else and trying to make some sort of point against that, as if I really give a crap what you think of me.

I mean, I could say something like "Well neener, neener, I'm more DIRECTLY involved in the impact warring parents make on children than someone living across the country who cuts a check once a month" but then you'd come back with "well, the person cutting the check is more DIRECTLY involves than a cyborg from the planet Zerblot".

It's got to end somewhere.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 165 (view)
 
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/24/2009 4:37:02 AM

Nothing is more crushing than finding out a child isn't yours years after you've bonded with him/her. Also, mandatory DNA testing discourages irresponsible behaviour and will remove the fraud part we see from the equation.


At the end of all that, to that child you are still their father. To me, there is nothing more crushing than falling in love with a guy, being engaged, standing by him through some major issues, getting pregnant and having him look up and say "I want a DNA test". Knowing that most likely the person you've picked to have a child with will turn on you the minute that something major happens in your relationship.... that there will never REALLY be an "us"... it will be a "him" and "you" as long as you keep proving yourself. And wondering if bringing a child into that is really the right thing to do, since most likely the relationship will not survive.

There's no way around it... asking for a DNA test is an accusation. You are being told that you are not trusted by the one person you shouldn't have to jump through hoops to prove yourself to. And having it on a widespread scale is accusing all women. I have a huge problem with discrimination and this would make it government sanctioned.

It boggles the mind that anyone would think that I be shouldn't be offended by having to prove myself because of the parts are was born with. If a specific man wants to find out if a specific woman carrying a specific baby is a cheater they have the options.

But mandatory, f*ck no.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/23/2009 9:37:07 AM

Sorry, you are required by law to carry that proof on you whenever you drive.... no one said it has to be shown everytime you drive...
Likewise. Getting a DNA test is getting proof, it would be like passing your driver's Test....no one said it has to be shown except when you need to.


Since we're going to stretch into analogies that barely fit, I'll play along. I could argue that simply being in a relationship is "carrying your license". And since you only have to show it whenever you "need to" (when your ability to drive is called into question) then the current system of DNA testing being available only when there is a question of paternity....



I didn't see you taking umbrage at the fact that the DNA test would also be for men. And that they would be treated as being a "cuckold" for needing to get a DNA test to determine paternity and that they in fact fathered the child...
So to me that means you feel that as a vaj owner you deserve special treatment.... so, there are reasons too why men might not want to be tested... some men may not want their spouse tested because they may be too embarrassed to have it known that their spouse had an affair... or the child may be the result of an accident during a 3some...or he may not want it known that his spouse has been raped or any number of possibilities... Yet, you only focussed on your being treated as a "cheating wh*re" so that speaks to me that you want to enjoy certain "privileges"....


This is so far out onto left field that I'm literally flabbergasted.

I will say though, that you are so focused on NOT being taken advantage of, that you want the "privilege" of pushing your inability to trust on every female who gets pregnant by forcing them by law to prove themselves to be trustworthy.

See how that works?


If my date wanted a backround check on me i'd be cool with it. If there was a criminal record search done pre marriage i'd be cool with that too.


No, not your date. The police/government. For every single man who dates, on every single date. Since so many women are being abused/murdered by men they want to make sure that they keep tabs on you. If you're not a murderer, then you should have no problem being treated like one "just in case".
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/23/2009 9:17:59 AM

You get treated like you can't be trusted every time you drive a car... you have to provide PROOF of a driver's licence, insurance etc... of being sober..


WTF? Where do you live where you have provide proof of these things every time you drive a car? I've only been pulled over once since I started driving, and not for something I did.



So you're saying that as a person with a vaj, you should be priveleged?


Holy sh*t, talk about jumping to conclusions! How is taking umbrage at the fact that I'd be treated as a cheating wh*re simply for being impregnated in any way saying that I should enjoy certain "privileges"?

If we're going to start segregating and making up arbitrary rules based on sex why stop there? I propose that every man who goes out on a date register a plan and proof that they have no domestic violence on their record with the police. Since 4-10% of men beat up, abuse and/or murder women it shouldn't bother you to do that right?
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:57:42 AM
My point was that it is inherently unfair to make assumptions about an entire group based on the actions of a few. Let alone make legislation surrounding the concept.

The definition of trust is " firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing". If you have to "verify" then you don't really trust them do you?
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:52:28 AM
^^^^

Being treated like I can't be trusted simply because I have a vagina.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:49:29 AM

I guess my question is if there is nothing to hide why not do it?


Well, since some men cheat, I'm sure you wouldn't mind being checked for vaginal fluids and a lie detector test whenever you're late coming home from work. Or being subjected to body cavity searches at the airport because some people smuggle drugs. Or being subjected to random visits from CPS simply because you're male and everyone knows that males aren't as good at parenting as women? And so on, and so on?
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 478 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:37:44 AM

The issue that we are dealing with involves PARENTS!!!! Not people who want to pass judgment just for the sake of. If you are not a parent who is involved with Child Support payments how can you fully understand or have any input on how it is dealt with and how it needs to change?


OMG! I'ma be all DRAMATIC too!!!!

Did you ever bother to step outside your own little world and realize that there are many, many childless people who are directly involved in the court/child support system?


There are parents who are not very smart, just as there are non-parents who have no common sense, so that comment is invalid.


Oh well, since you said it's invalid because you don't like it.. it must be true.




Please, entertain me by telling me what you think the Child Support System should change to make it better on all of us dealing with it. I am very interested in hearing from a person with no children therefore not understanding of the situation what so ever has to say about the issues we deal with on daily bases.


I will type this very slowly....

I have already given my take on the child support system earlier in the thread. It's not my fault that you're unwilling/unable to keep up. I'll also reiterate that there are many childless people directly involved with the court system and children of divorce who are able to look at it objectively instead of being emotional.


Outline to me how the process should be from start to end. I will be waiting for your almighty information. If you want to put yourself higher then the rest of us with your lack of knowledge of the system, be my guest. I would love to see how you would handle my child support case.


Um, no. I have better things to do than to kowtow to some egocentric stranger on the internet. And to tell the truth, I really don't give a sh*t about your child support case.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:23:10 AM
It's a horrible idea.

It might be fine for those waiting for their turn on the Jerry Springer show, but I have a huge problem with the assumption that because I have a uterus I need to prove my child's paternity. Most rational people don't think that 52% of the population can't really be trusted.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 475 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:18:45 AM

You are free to share your opinion here as we all are but those who dont have children and post on a single parents thread with no actual real life stake in this will find your comments will carry less weight with those of us it does.


Ah, the "I know better than you because I popped out a kid or two" defense. There are parents in the world with no more common sense than a turnip. Being fertile does not mean that one ceases to be stupid.


Ther is something wrong here v_c, did you forget you were using you alias. You are talking about yourself.



^^^^^ wasnt going to say anything but figured someone else would..LOL.


Oh look, I'm surrounded by geniuses. Who else would have guessed that two posters with different writing styles and who disagree with each other would be the exact same person?!?!?

/ facepalm
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 465 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/22/2009 10:52:01 AM

Notatowniegirl I can see how others may see your posts as those of a troll as your profile is quite bare when it comes to information ( a tactic often used by those who look to stir the pot rather than offer useful advice). While I not passing judgement, I would offer a suggestion.. If your truly here to find folks to "hang out with" as your profile states .. you would have a much better chance if you chose to fill in the blanks rather than choosing " prefer not to say". More often than not when folks look at profiles, the ones who "prefer not to say" are more often than not often the ones who never get asked. Just a piece of advice to use as you will.


You're assuming that I'm here for anything but the forums and that my profile isn't set up that way on purpose. There is no option for forums only, and I put as little in my profile as I can so that people who don' t like what I have to say can't scour it for anything they can use for an off-topic attack. Of course, I get "called" on that as if it has anything to do with anything really.

Like she did... and like I see on basically every thread I'm on in these forums. I'm not here to get dragged into personal crap. I'm here to give my opinion and if people don't like it it's just too bad for them.

So.. what does my profile have to do with the fact that the child support system is there because the $60 dollar guy and his ilk exist?


Many of the posters on this thread understand, that those of us who voice our discontent with the system is not due to the fact that we are trying to get out of paying .. We do indeed recognise our obligation as parents and fulfill it.. Our problem with the system is that has many shortcomings and needs to be changed.


Changed to what? Accommodate people who think that 60 dollars is a reasonable amount of money to spend on a child? Or people who wouldn't pay the bare minimum if they didn't face severe consequences? Or people who would bicker about everything from numbers of pairs of underwear to the type and amount of food they eat?

I can understand the frustration of those who feel like they don't have "power" over their own money, but I think too many of them overlook the real costs of raising a child and give no weight to the non-monetary part of raising children. Most of them aren't even close to being realistic...

I think what bothers me most about the child support complainers who are paying the base amount is that I don't get the feeling that they want what's best for their children... they want to get away with doing the least they can (most times out of spite). The kids deserve better than that.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 461 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/21/2009 9:43:59 AM

I don't think there is anything wrong with my reading comprehension... it is more about the presentation, and possibly missed quotation marks?


Coupled with my earlier post, I think reading comprehension is the problem. Quotations would only be appropriate if it were, in fact, a direct quote. Which it wasn't.

But hey, if you feel a need to score "points" of some sort to feel better, go right ahead. Claim the victory.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 458 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/20/2009 7:55:01 PM

Do you even have kids?... your profile reads like that of an internet troll.


No, I don't have children.

However, since I wrote

"The 60 dollar amount I used was based on a thread I read here last year by a man who insisted that it was possible to feed and clothe a child on 60 dollars a month if you shopped sales, got staples only and shopped for clothes at the goodwill."

And then "Since it can be done, that's all that any NCP should have to pay for any child." most people would realize that that would be HIS conclusion and not mine. I have 2 words for you... reading comprehension.

The person who originally wrote that was a disgruntled child support payer who was livid at the fact that his ex had a new boyfriend and wanted to contribute the bare minimum so that none of it got spent on anything but what he (that's HE and not ME) deemed absolutely necessary.


A the comment thats all a NCP should contribute is $60 a month, go get a life, obviously you don't live in the real world.


I see you're the "jump on the bandwagon of the poster before you" type of person.... /sigh.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 450 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/20/2009 5:49:49 PM

First off, braces would be considered an extraordinary expense by just about any government as far as I know. They definitely are here in Canada, and are therefore not considered part of basic CS. A lot of court orders and separation agreements would have a clause in it about the division of these costs.


I know that, but that doesn't meant that people won't complain about it. Or that they won't underemploy themselves or hide income to get out of paying it.


If a person is only paying $60 a month as you say in your example they would be in a very low income bracket.


The 60 dollar amount I used was based on a thread I read here last year by a man who insisted that it was possible to feed and clothe a child on 60 dollars a month if you shopped sales, got staples only and shopped for clothes at the goodwill. Since it can be done, that's all that any NCP should have to pay for any child.


I do agree that the receipt idea wouldn't work though. I would like to see a substantial increase in accountability of expenses though; however it could be done.


I would support that to a certain point. When it gets into quibbling about every single thing though, the "power" has to go to the CP, since they're the ones responsible for the children day to day. The court system is complicated enough without bogging down the courts or creating another government office to oversee childish idiots.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 442 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/20/2009 6:22:39 AM

Child support sounds so confusing, why not save reciepts when one buys stuff for their kids then go half on it?


I don't think it's confusing at all. It's supposed to be comparable to what the payor would have spent on the child if the family were still intact in order to minimize the effect the breakup would have on them. It takes into account the payor's income only, so that it's as even as possible.Obviously, it's not perfect; but I can't see any other system that would work that wouldn't cost more than it's worth to oversee.

The problem with going halves on anything is that there will always be people who will create a fuss and argue simply because they want to make things as hard as they possibly can for the ex and ignore the effects on the children. I've seen NCP's deny their children braces for severe overbites simply because the feel that their 140 dollars a month should cover half of everything a child needs. Or refuse to buy anything for them for Christmas or their birthday because they already get "enough". Or insist that 60 dollars per month is more than enough to cover a child's food and clothing.

There are too many variables and too many vindictive, hateful people to make this work. Imagine the paperwork for people like this who would argue over every single receipt.

"I gave him 60 dollars for food your honour, but he has a wife now so how do I know that the food from that particular 60 dollars went to feed my child and not her?"

" I think she purposely bought fruits and veggies instead of mac and cheese so that the grocery bill would be higher. There's no need to pay 5 dollars for a bag of apples... You can get 5 bags of fries for that!".
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Althetic Child, wants to be in soccor, but shared visitation makes that impossible, suggestions?
Posted: 11/20/2009 3:38:40 AM

Custodial parents have no say about what goes on during tht non custodial parents time.


While this may be true, it takes a special kind of childish, immature, selfish pr*ck to deny their child something that they want because they want to make a "statement" or can't be bothered.


They only get the kids 4 days a month. Dont widdle down your ex's already limited parenting time by scheduling activities without thier consent.


Well, I for one think that participating in a child's activity with them isn't "widdle"ing down any time. I'm sure she's not going to consider it lost time to see her dad cheering her on from the sidelines. As a matter of fact, she'd probably remember it for the rest of her life. And the fact that he was willing to let go of his feelings for her mother, and make something happen for HER.


You dont get all that child support for nothing, they are entiltled to have uninterrupted time alone with thier children.


I see you take the view that child support is some sort of payment for having child. I would stay away from any man who didn't see child support as anything more than providing their share of the child's needs. The reason being that I don't care to associate with people who whine, complain and have to be badgered into doing the right thing.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
A different angle - Social Assistance Programs
Posted: 11/18/2009 1:40:19 PM
My thoughts are that it's up to you if you want to pay or not... and it's a good thing that she gave you the option to save the money. The rest I'm just going to chalk up to "I don't like my ex so I'm going to look for anything I can to make her look bad".

Interesting contrast.. today I was talking to a single mother who had to take time off work to go home and get her assistance card after their father brought them to the dentist because he refused outright to pay the 26 dollars for the checkups. She actually heard him ranting on and on to the receptionist that his ex was a welfare whore and that he wasn't going to pay for something if she could get it for free. Dude clears 50k a year and has never paid child support either.

I've come to the conclusion that men are really freakin' complicated.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 275 (view)
 
Obama drops the ball...again.
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:25:13 AM

Your premise is very flawed. I am not referring to someone who attacks the President for constructive criticism about issues in general.


Weren't you the dude calling him the "kenyan experiment" a couple of pages back? How in the world is that constructive?


I attack Obama because each day those in Afghanistan are not afforded the military might needed to finish the job, it harms the chances for our success and this in turn puts our heroes in risk for further casualties.


Are you suggesting that the only way to "finish the job" in Afghanistan is to send more and more troops? How is sending troops into battle zones "safer" than keeping them at home? And exactly what is the "job" that they're trying to "finish" and how is throwing more money and human life at it going to accomplish that?
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 273 (view)
 
Obama drops the ball...again.
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:11:10 AM

The military serves at the behest of the President....NOT the people. They serve at the behest of the President, and not the people. These people volunteered to serve. When you denounce their Commander-in-Chief, you attack them personally. End of story....they were/are fully aware tha right or wrong, morally, or unjust, they could be called into harm's way at a moment's notice.


Then you really should stop denouncing Obama. Unless you're a hypocrite.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 218 (view)
 
Obama drops the ball...again.
Posted: 11/13/2009 5:23:41 AM

Obama is waiting to see what is politically correct before he decides on Afghanistan.


Politically correct.. or right? Jesus people, it's a complex decision. You all make it seem like he should just make up his mind. I'd love to see some of you in real life.. up in people's faces.

"It's been 3 weeks... are you going to marry her or what?"
" You've been at this open house 15 whole minutes now; should we start drawing up the papers or are you just going to get the f*ck out of here?"
"This surgery might save your life or it might kill ya. You've got 30 seconds.... GO!"

And if someone says they need to think about it, you call them morons, indecisive, teleprompter readers.... it'd be funny if there weren't so many of you.


No doubt he was left a tough job from Bush after his failures...but when you run for president...you know you have a tough job ahead of you. You have to make TOUGH DECISIONS. Bush 100% made a lot of errors and mistakes, but he atleast did what he thought was right, not what was politically correct. The longer Obama plays these stupid games, the more danger our troops are in.


I appears to me that you confuse making tough decisions with making fast decisions. Considering all the facets to your problem in Afghanistan, you should be grateful that he's just not throwing more money and people at the problem and keeping his fingers crossed that it works out. If you'd prefer the latter, then the troops really aren't a consideration for you.

Yeah, this doing what you THINK is right before you have all the facts has been working out great for you so far.


What exactly is Obama weighing in his decision here? The leader said we need more troops, I'm pretty sure he is more qualified than Obama.....it has been THREE MONTHS since they first said we need more troops....WTF is taking so long to decide? Like I said....Obama def has tough decisions to make...but that's what he was elected for, to ACTUALLY MAKE A DECISION.


He's made plenty of decisions since he got into office , even in the face of those who would block those decisions from becoming reality because they can't seem to see past junior high school style "us vs. them" tactics. Obama's biggest fault is that he's too naive when it comes to partisanship. His detractors will do anything to smear him... even if the most they've got in their arsenal is that his wife shows too much above the elbow or that he snuck out back for a smoke.

And you wonder why Americans have such a bad reputation in the rest of the world. It's because so many of you are like children with ADHD when it comes to politics.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 185 (view)
 
Obama drops the ball...again.
Posted: 11/12/2009 3:09:32 AM

Why is the teleprompter such a big deal?


'Cause that's all that people like her have. Teleprompters, jack*sses, birth certificates that are fake only in their own mind... best ignored and left on the sidelines if you want intelligent discourse about real issues.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Condoning Atheism.
Posted: 11/11/2009 4:23:44 AM

I'll pass. You're too inflamed for a civil discussion.


Of course you will. You don't have a leg to stand on... it's perfectly normal in that situation to "pass" and blame the other person than to defend the indefensible. I find that a lot with devout people; they don't like having to take responsibility for their own behaviors. If the questions get too hard, they can always fall back on "irrefutable arguments", like it's "god's will" or "god is testing me".

"It's not my fault, your honour, that I got drunk and ran over that 4 year old. It was a trial god has handed to me..."

I find it cowardly, but whatever.

As for my being inflamed, I'd suggest you look up the meaning of the word. And that of the word civil.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Gurgle gurgle what?
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:50:42 PM
This didn't come from my kid, but from my friend's daughter. I was on the phone with her the other night when her 2 year old came out of her bedroom and said "Oh mommy.... duhty (dirty) c0cks!". Apparently her mother was in shock and didn't respond because she repeated "duhty c0cks" a couple more times, then stalked away in disgust. I said "Omg, is she really saying what I think she's saying!" and her mother said "I think so.. " in a dazed voice.

Seconds later she returned; I heard a sharp intake of breath and peals of laughter. It took her a full 5 minutes to slow down the laughter enough to gasp "Dirty socks.... she was saying dirty socks!". Right after I heard "YEAH MOMMY! YUCKY DUHTY C0CKS!" That's right about where I lost it.

She had spilled her apple juice, and wanted to let her mother know she'd taken her socks off because they were wet.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Plan B for a teenager
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:23:15 PM

Oh please tell us! I am a parent of a daughter and I want as much knowledge as possible on this subject.


Sadly, it can take mere minutes at that age. I know a woman (girl then) whose boyfriend got really turned on while dancing. They went to the bedroom, and before I could make my way through the crowd and back with a beer she was coming out. Apparently he was a no-foreplay, put-the-head-in-and-pop kinda guy. :(
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Plan B for a teenager
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:13:15 AM
Yes, I would (with her consent of course)... then I'd have a huge talk with her about every single birth control option and let her decide. Depo Provera would be a good choice; I'm not sure if they'll insert an IUD in someone still developing.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
RCC- A force for good in the world?
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:50:25 AM

Hypothesis - Is the Roman Catholic Church a force of good in the world?


No, I don't believe it is.... while the premise behind the institution and the majority of people who follow this religion are good ... the corruption is astounding and outweighs everything else.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Condoning Atheism.
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:52:22 AM

Seriously?


Seriously.


Teaching children to turn the other cheek might be a step above teaching them to murder. But if you disagree, that's okay too.


I wonder how Jesus would feel about his followers being so snide...

My point was that children who are only taught "one special way" feel that since they are so "right" that "everyone else" must adapt/adjust to them. It is pure ego to insist that they have some sort of superiority over others simply because they "feel" they are right... and it's something much, much darker when they use it to harass/push behavior onto others. The OP isn't calling these people to harass them about their beliefs... but they're certainly not extending the same respect to her are they?


No. It isn't.

When you truly and earnestly seek the God of the Bible, He will reveal Himself to you. That is what I implied and meant. And it is true. You have not sought with your whole heart, or you would know it to be true, too.


And you don't see any arrogance here? I supposed that's because you just KNOW that you're right.... right? If "feelings" must be taken as "proof" then I have to give just as much credence to anything people come up with from their imaginations as long as they earnestly believe. Flying spaghetti monster, all-knowing pink unicorn.... if we just let ourselves "believe" then it's automatically "true" right?

There have been millions of schizophrenics who believe whole-heartedly that the hallucinations they see/hear are true. Just out of curiosity, why do you think they're considered to be mentally ill, but if a person claims that they have been "touched by god" they are considered not only normal, but somehow enlightened?


That's a rather odd assessment given you do not know me from Adam. (You are also wholly incorrect, but that's beside the point.) Sounds like you've been hurt by a church or by "church people." I am sorry that happened, whatever it was. But God didn't do that to you, and neither did I.


My background, quite frankly, is none of your business and has nothing to do with this conversation. I'll be checking back, so if you want to address my assertion that teaching children myopic world view based on the mores of just one religion leads to coercion/bullying (as seen in the OP's case), societal division and (in extreme cases) violence I'll certainly debate with you. If you think that "I just KNOW" will stand up to thousands of years of history, give'er.


Anyway, we shall all learn one day -- when our time comes to leave this world -- what is in the hereafter. Nobody has absolute proof of anything. It is left up to each of us to "prove" to ourselves what is real. I've just never met an atheist who claimed to have proven to him/herself there is definitely no God. But zillions of believers have proven it to themselves that He is real.


So, you've never met a rabid athiest who has proven it to himself with certainty that there is no god... yet you know "zillions" who require no more than conviction to pass laws, infringe on others rights... and harass a single parent for choosing to encourage her child to think critically because the child came to a conclusion different than their own?

So exactly who are all these horrible atheists who want to stop christians from "practising their religion" that I keep hearing about ... in contrast to those christians who want atheists to stop telling their children that god doesn't exist?
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:10:27 AM

Why do people do it? My two are same father oldest is 11 yrs old and my 6 month old.


For many different reasons, and most too complex to get into here. I have some experience with single mothers with multiple children and I can tell you that the vast majority of the women I deal with do NOT fit this stereotype. Most with 2 children or more have them with one or 2 fathers. I can only think of 5-6 at most who have gone beyond that.

In my hometown, there was a woman we nicknamed "the Mink" because of her adventures in baby making. She had a total of 13 children while married to her husband before he finally left her. Through DNA testing, he discovered that only her second child (and their first "together") was his. She is only sure of the parentage of 2 of her children... the rest could belong to any of hundreds of sexual partners. In her case, she was somewhat unattractive and used the only commodity she thought she had for attention. It was literally the only way she knew to feel attractive... after all, they wouldn't sleep with her unless she was "beautiful" right? She also became addicted to drugs and alcohol... often hiding her pregnancies so that she could continue without censure. She swears to this day that she had no idea she was pregnant on her last 7 children until so advanced in the pregnancy that she often delivered weeks after "finding out".

In contrast to this, I know many single mothers who take very good care of their children and don't date for a decade after the breakup. However, this isn't as "shocking" and doesn't make for good material for people with an axe to grind.

As horrific as this is, it doesn't happen nearly as much as Maury Povich and conservative talking heads would have you believe. It's a shame that the extreme overshadows the norm... single, working mothers who know who the father (and possibly even the second father). It's also a shame that people are so quick to latch onto the stereotypes and then fling them at all single mothers as if they are a single entity with similar behaviors/motives.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Open mic night...
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:23:02 AM
Oooh.. are we all just guessing here? There are a million different explanations but maybe

-He really, really had to scratch his balls and the bathroom line was too long,
-He though she was hot and pitched a tent he didn't want you to see.
-He had one of those hard boogers that scratches the inside of your nose and didn't have a tissue so he wanted some booger/finger alone time.
- He saw a hot chick through the window and wanted to give her his number before she disappeared
- He was uncomfortable with being constantly psychoanalysed by the person he came with.

OR
- He wanted a smoke.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 130 (view)
 
Obama drops the ball...again.
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:12:23 AM

You know...I think far fewer people than Obama's staunch supporters truly believe, even consider these factors when they're examining the actions instead. Until and unless someone brings it up claiming these are the real reasons people don't like him...as an excuse for the real reasons - they don't agree with his policies. Plain and simple. When you are elected to lead a number of people where the majority don't agree with your policies, dissent is always going to happen. Most of the 20-something supporters during the election could care less that he's President now because they haven't seen the instant gratification they thought they were going to get.


The problem with this is that most of the people with real objections to Obama's policies are being drowned out/dismissed because of the stupidity of the outspoken stupids. Yeah, I call them the stupids. The people who pepper any objection to Obama with insults and talking points taken directly from infotainment sources like Fox. People who can't form any sort of coherent, substantive argument.... the bulk of their objections are simply regurgitated talking points and "reasons" that SOUND good to them because they don't have the intelligence to actually think about what's being said critically.

The blubbering idiots on camera throwing up trite comments like "He's a moosleeem!", or "He's gonna only work for the knee-grows!" "He's gonna take away my Gawd-given right to be overcharged by health care corporations who are leeching my money but that's okay because I don't want no Mexikeens going to the 'mergency room!"

Then you have the people who say things like "He's the worst president evah cause he called Kanye a jackass!" or "Michelle Obama is a trashy ho cause she showed her arms!". If that's the worst they have on him, then he's doing pretty well in my book.

It's gotten to the point where there's so much negativity bombarding them about the President that they're going to dismiss everything as being the whining of a bunch of sore losers. Tell me, if someone came to you for months complaining about how bad your new neighbour is with more and more wildly fantastic accusations as time goes by (and there's never any evidence that it's true), would you keep giving what they say the same consideration you did in the beginning?
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Condoning Atheism.
Posted: 11/10/2009 6:40:24 AM
"Condoning" atheism is only wrong to those with strident beliefs who cannot mind their own business. Too many people with religious leanings do not understand that THEIR beliefs are exactly that and will try and push them on everyone else through death and beyond. Tell them that you are the parent, you will raise her as you see fit and that it isn't up for discussion... if that fails tell them to f*ck off and mind their own business. Crude, sure, but being nice to pushy people will be seen as an invitation to keep trying. Stand your ground.


I learned long ago not to attempt to battle against your mindset. Having studied multiple religions, including all those mentioned (though not much in-depth study of Judaism), it is my considered opinion that a child needs a solid foundation upon which to build a worldview -- and one that is based on something that is real and verifiable to the true seeker.


It is my considered opinion that children fare much better when subjected to MANY different world viewpoints and encouraged to discuss, evaluate and believe according to what makes the most sense to THEM. Indoctrinating children in just one belief set and teaching them to view everything else through it is what leads to division, discrimination, violence, etc.

Exactly how is what you're proposing any different than a muslim extremist teaching their child that fanatic Islam is the only true path and that anyone who doesn't adhere must be killed? Or the parent who teaches that homosexuality is wrong and advocates kidnapping, murder, etc in order to "fix" them? Or the christian extremists who defile soldier funerals by disrupting what should be a sacred event for the grieving families? Or the catholic sects who allow their children to be smothered during an exorcism because they don't "believe" in mental illness?

What, exactly, is teaching children to assume that the world should fit into THEIR ideals and mores going to do except cause them to act in such a way that pushes those beliefs on anyone else? Including their own children?

And "real and verifiable to the true seeker"? Is this that old "well, if you knew as much as "I" do" smug superiority thing? How exactly does that type of arrogance mesh with the teaching of humility by Christ?

You're no better than those people trying to push their beliefs on a child that is not their own, and bullying another human being into doing what they want for their own selfish reasons.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Official disclosure of alien life is here...
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:09:03 AM

I hear the Aliens are going to announce their presence on the Oprah Winfrey show. As they make their descent the studio will fill with smoke and beams of light while the audience jumps and cheers. Oprah will be running up and down the isles screaming "You get an anal probe! You get an anal probe! And you get an anal probe!"


Ahahahahhahahahahhahahahhaha.....

I keep flashing back to scenes from Mars Attacks, and I can't get Tom Jones' music out of my head. Thanks OP.. thanks a lot.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Malware, Ubuntu, and hard drives... oh my!
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:20:43 PM
Full format, using one of the wiping tools on the ultimate boot cd. I can't remember which one, my first choice was DBAN but I couldn't get it to load.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Novels that are dramatically different from the films
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:04:00 PM
Demi Moore's version of The Scarlett Letter, the DaVinci Code (I knew I wouldn't like it as soon as I heard Tom Hanks was cast; Colm Feore would have been perfect), Queen of the Damned, Eragon, The Count of Monte Cristo with Guy Pearce, White Oleander, The Cat in the Hat, Ella Enchanted....

So many bad movie adaptations, so little time....
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Malware, Ubuntu, and hard drives... oh my!
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:47:38 PM
k.. did a format of my hard drive, tried to reinstall but it didn't work. It loaded the setup files, restarted and I got the blue screen again right after the splash screen. Looks like I have a long day of trying to mess with the hardware some more ahead of me...

*kicks rocks*
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 115 (view)
 
What's your Halloween costume this year?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:42:40 PM
I'll be dressing in Felicia Day's outfit from the video "Do you Want to Date My Avatar?". It's all ready for tomorrow... all I need is to be back to normal (freakin' flu) by tomorrow night.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Malware, Ubuntu, and hard drives... oh my!
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:51:32 PM

password for which? the bios?


Sorry I wasn't more clear... the admin password for windows recovery console. I think I may be locked out because I've hit the max number of boot attempts. I tried using Offline NT Password and Registry Editor but while it claims that SAM is loaded, after I attempt to edit the password it says it's not... sigh...

I'm not so sure that it's a virus anymore. The boot is still hanging at the drivers mup.sys thing. I checked out the boot order for XP and the next one is agp440.sys. Which would explain the video problems... I think it's clashing with the ATI drivers I installed the first time I had the system up and running. At least I hope, because a good wipe and fresh install just might work.

Thanks for the replies guys, I really appreciate it. Hopefully I can get this figured out before all my shiny new parts get here.... with my luck it'll happen again.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Malware, Ubuntu, and hard drives... oh my!
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:11:31 PM
I reset the BIOS, and now I can't use recovery because there's a password.... sigh.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Malware, Ubuntu, and hard drives... oh my!
Posted: 10/29/2009 6:51:52 PM

shutdown your pc, unplug ALL wires to your tower. take the cover off, remove the small battery which is on your mainboard. leave it sit for about a 1/2 hour. put your battery back in, start it up. tap delete to get into your bios setup, set bios to optimized defaults, save and exit. before you save and exit be sure your boot order is set at cdrom, floppy [if any], then hdd. btw is your video card an addon or is it onboard?


I haven't messed with much on the mb before so I'll read up on it and do it tomorrow .. ty. My video card is an addon.


What OS is it?


Windows XP. I probably should have made the jump to Vista, but I heard too many horror stories.


Possibly a driver issue, can you start in safe mode?


I couldn't start into safe mode. Any attempt to start windows at all caused the reset. That's why I opted for the second clean install. After formatting, I got as far as the first reboot during install and when it started up again, I got the Fatal Error message (STOP: c000021a , 0xC000026c (in case it helps narrow the problem down)). I used an ultimate boot cd to do a scan of my hard drive, which showed no errors... it was the same with memtest.

Maybe a good swift kick to the side of the case would do the trick... if not, at least I'll feel better.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Malware, Ubuntu, and hard drives... oh my!
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:47:12 AM
Well, that was short-lived.

Yesterday I got my hard drive up and working, installed windows, installed/updated all my drivers, installed a game and it was working perfectly except for slight problems with my video card. It was late by the time I was done so I just powered down and went to bed.

Today I tried to start up and it was going into startup over and over. That was my original problem after the infection (after a couple of reboots) and why I went with the other hard drive.

I disabled the restart and got the BSOD (blue screen of death). It's getting as far as mup.sys then nothing. I ran recovery from my windows install disk, and CHKDSK first gave me a 'no problems warning', then got to 75% and gave me the unrecoverable errors message. I then tried a fresh install (which seemed to be working) but at the first restart I got the BSOD again.

I'm going to be checking out the hardware a bit at a time (starting with RAM) in case a hardware failure brought this on and not the malware, but what are the chances that I have a boot virus? Does anyone know any linux friendly programs I can use for hardware/virus scans?
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Malware, Ubuntu, and hard drives... oh my!
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:06:42 PM
Yay... I got it fixed. The problem was a faulty power cable. It's working like a charm.


Copy them to a flash drive or email them to yourself, your/her antivirus should detect a virus if it it's up-to-date (you can zip it up if you want and just scan the zip file)


I tried talking to her about doing that but she was talking to her husband and (as usual) she heard a couple of words and went nuts. He told her what the options were and she picked up "ghost" and is convinced that that is the way it MUST be done because her husband knows what he's talking about. Sigh.


Do you know the make/model of the adapter?


http://www.vantecusa.com/front/product/view_detail/383


However, as far as the photos....viruses and malware do not infect .jpg files by themselves...there's nothing advantageous about doing it. With that being said, if you can get Ubuntu to boot on your system, copying the files to another location will be just fine. Your friend is a little too anal..scared..and don't know how things work. Tell her she's more likely to get infected by malicious advertisements posing as legit services than from the JPGS on your hard drive (slashdot just had an article about hackers posing as legit companies purchasing ad space so they can in turn, distribute malicious advertisements)


I know that, and you know that, but she's not hearing any of it :(

The funny thing is, my ISP partnered with Yahoo for email, so there's an outgoing virus scan, and there's also automatic scanning on her end. 3 months ago, her husband called from his work site and asked me to go over and check on the computer because the power supply was on the fritz. I headed over there with my backup and a fan... she stopped me when I was about to open the case because she was afraid that my "fooling around in there" would mess something up and she or the kids would get electrocuted by mistake. She ended up getting a in-home repair guy to come do it because "he went to school for it" . Pfft.


If your friend is making you wait till her husband gets home, then that's no friend. In this case, I'd attempt to back them up, but if it fails, then you just need to remind your friend not to rely on you to keep HER data and she should of a) kept her own backups and b) accepted the files when you offered them to her. You've got stuff to do, you can't sit around without a computer for a week.


I've been friends with her husband since grade school and put up with her for his sake. Have you ever had a buddy come up and ask you to be nice to his GF because he really likes her and he knows you'll probably only tolerate her at best? It's like that.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 98 (view)
 
An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:58:28 AM

How could a child's basic needs be 150 dollars higher than an adult? Is the kid wearing a different outfit everyday, steak and caviar on the menu?
I think your idea of what a basic need is a tad skewed. Just sayin'


I don't have kids, but I'm sure that an infant's needs could easily be 150 higher than an adult. There's the cost of formula, diapers, medications, more clothes washed more frequently (which means more detergent and electricity), more cleaning supplies, the hot water necessary to sterilize bottles... This is all in addition to the upfront cost for necessities like cribs, car seats, etc. that are most likely paid out by the CP in the months immediately proceeding the birth and just after.

Older children tend to grow out of clothing so quickly it would astound you. My niece has gone up 2 full sizes since September. All of the pants her mother bought for school are now a couple of inches over her ankles. She's also eating like a fiend... she eats more food than her mother does. She snacks so much that my sister has been buying fruits and veggies like they're going out of style.( For her, the snacking is a necessity as well, since she's very underweight for her age and height.) My sister could easily walk/bike long distances but now HAS to use her car to get her daughter to school/appointments.

I mean, TECHNICALLY you could just give your child enough to keep them alive, but why would someone bring a child into the world knowing that they'd be deprived of pretty much everything they see around them? Most loving parents want their children to have the best that they can afford to provide. I know I wouldn't be buying myself a BMW if my children were living on food stamps in a one-bedroom government-subsidized apartment... no matter how much I hated their father's guts. If there weren't so many people willing to do exactly that, child support wouldn't have to be legislated and there would be no griping over being "forced" to do what the parent should have been doing all along.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 276 (view)
 
World of Warcraft
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:49:26 AM
I play, and I'm a total Hordie. My main is a blood elf priest, but I have an undead mage and DK at 80, and a rogue at 76.

I'm now on an achievement points/battlegrounds kick, and she'll be hitting the 6k mark in the next couple of days. I'm also refusing to play any WSG right now, after getting supremely pissed at missing the Ironman/Quick cap achieves by half the length of our tunnel. For the same reason, I now have an intense dislike of alliance locks wearing Deadly Gladiator gear who are most likely played by that fat guy from the South Park WoW episode...
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 168 (view)
 
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:22:53 AM
I would have just told him to knock it off while at work because you never know who'll be offended. Bring up the fact that if I customer hears it, you could lose business and you can't have that. Or that she might get offended and consider it a hostile work environment and you'd rather not have to get involved with any of that. This way, your ass is covered and you're not coming from a position of moral superiority.

I once worked at a place where all workers were women and the boss was a man. We were constantly joking around about a certain delivery guy. Once, as he was walking away, I said "Oh my my my.... I'd like to tie him up and lick his nipples until they bleed!". The boss overheard, laughed and told me to keep those sorts of comments to myself unless I was absolutely sure they couldn't be heard by anyone who might take offense. He was right too.. on the job we are supposed to be professional, and the employees are a reflection of the business.

Besides, if that delivery guy had heard and taken offense, his company could have refused to deliver, or they could have replaced him with lesser eye candy. That would have been practically tragic.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Malware, Ubuntu, and hard drives... oh my!
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:02:25 PM
It has just the one HDD (at a time). I was running windows on the original, it got so corrupted within a couple of reboots that I can't even get it to load in safe mode. I have to switch them out because the mobo has 2 IDE slots ... the new HDD needs one and my DVD-rom is running off the other. I'm running Ubuntu from CD. :(

Forgot to add, if anyone has any other ideas to get those files off my original hard drive in a "safe", "guaranteed" non-virus sending way that will be acceptable to the type of person who would have 200 pictures of her cat and over 450 of her children in 3 months please let me know.

*Off to take more medicine and to try and get some sleep so that she's not this cranky tomorrow*
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Malware, Ubuntu, and hard drives... oh my!
Posted: 10/27/2009 6:20:04 PM
^^^^

Yep, not showing up at all.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Malware, Ubuntu, and hard drives... oh my!
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:32:04 PM
Long post warning, but it'll narrow down the advice given so I'd rather just get it out of the way.

I have a system that's getting fairly outdated for what I need, so I'm just waiting on parts to be shipped here for my new system (it's going to take a couple of weeks at least to get it all). I was using this system right up until a few days ago, when my neighbour's 14 year old asked to use it for a school project. Apparently, that project is on porn and he ended up giving "me" a virus (Security Tool people, you should just die now).

I can't do a clean OS install because a friend of mine took some pictures of her kids from her SD card and put it on my hard drive before deleting them. I tried using Ubuntu, but for some reason Nautilus shuts down every time I try to open a burning program. I started emailing them to her, but she's a big baby and refuses to accept them this way... she is deathly afraid of her computer catching my virus. She wants me to wait for her husband to get home a week from now so that he can take them off "safely". *grumbles under her breath*.

Not wanting to start something up (like severe maiming), I decide just to use the brand new SATA HDD I have for future backup in this system for the time being. Problem is, the mobo has IDE slots only. Instead of buying a new one, I bought a connector that will convert SATA to IDE. I, however, can't get the computer to recognize the hard drive at all.

Does anyone have any experience with these adaptors? This version connects directly to the mobo and has room for two SATA connections, and they're clearly marked "master" and "slave" so I assumed it would be pretty much idiot proof. If so, is the problem most likely the connector or the (previously unused) hard drive itself? It didn't come with any instructions and the manufacturers' downloadable user manual is next to useless. As a matter of fact, it's just a "schematic" of the adaptor itself with two arrows pointing to "master" and "slave"

Sorry for the rant btw, but I'm working on 3 hours sleep, cold medicine and I can't play any of my games :(
 
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