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 Author Thread: pee
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
pee
Posted: 11/22/2009 7:28:18 PM
Sadly, my ex did this once. He was so drunk..he got up out of bed, walked to the corner of the room, and started peeing. I was furious. I got all up in his face about it though, and he looked at me like he didn't even know who I was. The next morning he scrubbed the carpet in the corner.

We broke up shortly afterward; I knew he had a drinking problem, but turned a blind eye for the most part because he was my kids Dad. I finally realized that it was going to get a lot worse before it got better, if it ever did, and decided I didn't want to be there when he hit rock bottom.

I wouldn't hang around to long with these fellows Opie. It is a pretty clear sign of someone who drinks to the point of blacking out, and unless you dream of being with an alcoholic and cleaning up their messes, I would cut your losses and move on.

And no, it isn't normal.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 105 (view)
 
The other side of WTF was he thinking?
Posted: 11/21/2009 2:25:16 PM


Um, I guess I was unclear (or the Canadian publik skools system is even worse than the American one!): the lady very clearly told me that she was dissapointed that I had NOT gone further, i.e.: taken her right there in the bushes. She was UPSET that I had not made a pass at her. Is that just about as clear as a crisp, cold Canadian morn?


Wow..you realize you are making yourself look like an utter ass, right? And why so defensive darlin'? Hitting a little to close to home, is it?


: I was not the one in need of luck on THAT date, Toots. I was not particularly interested in expending the effort, frankly, though, as I noted, had she made her intentions/desires more evident, I would likely have given in the old college try!


The only women that could possibly be even mildly attracted to a man of your caliber are ones who suffer from very low self-esteem, which explains your fondness for girls half your age. They tend to get suckered in by snake oil salesman very easily. Someone your own age though? Not so much.


As is the wont of feminists, Canadian, American--dun't matter!--your female-ness demands that you make assumptions. Of COURSE the sistah was not in the wrong...so it hasta be the guy!


I don't consider myself to be a feminist in the least. But you toots are certainly coming across as a chauvinistic pig who thinks he has the biggest and best equipment on the playground. Any woman with even a tiny bit of experience knows that if a guy brags about his equipment, nine times out of ten he's got nothing to brag about.


Knock it off with the 'toots' stuff - it makes you sound like a moron. The rest of it - who cares? I just find it interesting that you're reacting with such anger to a bunch of people in a forum. None of this is personal, so don't take it that way.

Oh, and the Canadian school system is fine. Don't talk about things you obviously know nothing about, it's ignorant and presumptuous. I was on your side until the 'toots' and bashing the Canadian education system bs.


This is some advice you should listen to.

Good luck in the pond Opie, methinks you are going to need it.




 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 100 (view)
 
The other side of WTF was he thinking?
Posted: 11/21/2009 11:41:27 AM

To the "men " in here demanding my retreat: reach down between your legs and do a quick check. Yeah...sorry 'bout that! It's okay, tho...I gots more'n enuff for all of us!

To the "women" with the same, though much more vitriolic reaction: I am a man. I know your feminist/post-feminist notions tell you that maleness is pathological and to be avoided like H1N1 (note the hyper-popularity of the TV show "Mad Men" right now, tho!), but I make no aplogies for my gender nor my "failure" to act like the very model of modern feminized American male--a cowed wussy. Moreover, I find that those younger women "forumologist" finds it so terribly difficult to believe I am dating, don't care for the late-1960s-early 1990s version of American "men" modeled after simpering "feminist" men who carry their wives purses and let her do all the driving. Too bad for you gals!


Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is not. Funny how the most arrogant men I have met in my life (or experienced in forums such as this) are those who have the least reason to be. Present company included.

~Feed the soul. Starve the ego.~

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 94 (view)
 
The other side of WTF was he thinking?
Posted: 11/20/2009 6:04:55 PM

There are various communication styles and levels. OP has a style that isn't quite as direct or overt that some of the readers may be used to. OP quotes the female, then he substitutes his own words (paraphrases?) the female in the next line. Thoughtfully read through, it is fairly clear what he is saying. Its great to challenge others and disagree or debate, but, there were a lot of invalidating and attacking type of comments from several readers, which, OP fell for the bait and responded aggressively as well - and of course it went downhill from there. POF is a free site, you get what you pay for. There are a lot of folks out there who want to argue and antagonize and invalidate. The thing is, even if you slam someone here and it looks cute or makes you feel righteous, to any decent person its quite transparent - and a poor reflection upon yourself.


Beautifully said excelsiur.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Is the number of acceptable places to approach women offline shrinking?
Posted: 11/16/2009 7:49:07 PM

Honestly, I don't know what you're talking about. Last week I saw a girl I thought was cute on the treadmill at the gym (wearing headphones) and I just went up to her talked to her for a couple minutes and walked away with her number. I went out with a girl I met at walmart on the make up isle. Bars obviously are easy places to talk to girls. You're gonna get rejected, sure, but that's normal. Just be confident and go make her feel good. If you approach 10 girls and 3 of them respond to you positively you're doing pretty well. You have every right to go after what you want in life...or at least ask nicely for it. I will talk to any girl anywhere. Since most guys are not man enough to step up to the plate, i don't have a lot of competition...and I do well enough...no one bats 100% but at least take a swing. She wants you to.


Confidence is very sexy. This post tells me he is a confident man, and if he sees something/someone he likes/wants, he goes after it. Kudos GG2W. Loved your profile too, I have weakness for sarcasm..bet you get a lot of angry emails from women who think you're being serious.

If a woman likes you, you can pretty much approach her anywhere, and she will be receptive. If, however, she's completely uninterested, no matter where/how you approach her, you will get shot down.

Common sense.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
The other side of WTF was he thinking?
Posted: 11/16/2009 6:49:22 PM
Oh boy..this thread is fun!! But..where to begin? Hmm..well, let me say that I too gleaned from the O.P that the lady in question bluntly stated in her email the following day that she wanted to do the Opie and was disappointed cuz he dropped the ball..but, I am very good at reading between the lines.

I also noticed this:


Turns out she is not exactly what I am looking for, but attractive enough.


And this:


Don't get me wrong, had SHE sent the right signals, sure. . . I'd have had her in the sack poste haste!


Again, this:


Turns out she is not exactly what I am looking for , but attractive enough.


*shakes head

Opie, opie, opie, you realize this negates your gentlemanly act..you openly admit that even though she wasn't what you were looking for , you would have had her in the sack poste haste . What's up with that?

And this:


I've found something very odd: younger women (and I mean women HALF my age) don't seem to act like this. If they want to get laid, they pretty much let you know it up front. If that's ALL they want, they let you know THAT, too!

Which is great. So, after a few similar experiences with "women" my own age that are just too damned strange for my tastes, and while I feel a little funny about dating women not much older than my kids, oh, well.


*I* interpret this as you trying to justify wanting to date girls half your age. (I use the term "date" loosely). Hey, if that's what you want, and they are willing, go for it. No justification needed.

I am 40-years-old. I am approached by young men all the time, half my age. When I ask them why they are interested in older women, they all say it's because older women are both more comfortable with their sexuality, and don't beat around the bush or play games; if they want to get laid, they are upfront about it. Interesting, you say the exact same thing, but you are switching the age groups.

This gives me pause for thought..I am not saying you are lying; certainly this could very well be your experience.

Now, I must say Opie, that you are coming across as being quite bitter and angry towards women in your age group. This is not the first time I have seen men bash older women..but I do wonder why. Stereotyping a whole group based on one or two is always a mistake. And unfair. And name calling..well, that's just juvenile.

JMO
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
She doesn't know about his other dating profile
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:23:15 PM

The ones telling you its not your business I think say it because they wouldnt want anyone go telling anyone else if they had any secrets for someone.
Those telling you to tell imagine they would want to know if they were the other woman.
I would of wanted to know.



You should totally tell his girlfriend what this two-timing chump is doing. The people that disagree have a thing against snitching. Fair enough, that's why they're single after all


Tell her WHAT?!? That he still has a profile that you think he logs into every "3 weeks or so" on some dating site? That he still talks to you occasionally and refused your friend request (oh yeah, he wants you baaaad) on facebook?

If some random chick approached me with this kind of info about a guy I was dating, I would think she was a jealous little b*tch and was trying to come between us. Seriously. Opie, you are FAR too old for this sh*t, grow up and move on already.


Yeah, it's looking like I've struck some kind of nerve with a few folks here with my post concerning this man's second profile and his girlfriend not knowing about it. I think a few posters here have done the same thing, which is why they've gotten so defensive about it and accused me of being the snoop. Never mind that I was the one that ended the relationship and suggested friendship with him and he's the one continuing to initiate contact with me and view my profile.


Obsessive much? I love when people come to the forums asking for advice/feedback on a situation, and then bash those that don't respond the way they want, or pat them on the back. If all you're looking for is someone to agree with you 100% and help justify your actions/behavior, perhaps you should get a cat. They're great listeners, and very non-judgmental. Otherwise, perhaps you should think about what most of the poster's are telling you, and take it into consideration.

Just a thought.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
hairdressers
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:07:50 PM

Sorry, but I've tried many hairdressers (hair-cutting-wise, that is) and have never found one that did a good job. It seems you can describe anything you want to a hairdresser, but she has her own artistic vision in her head and that just can't be overcome.


Same experience here, for the most part. The last stylist (as they prefer to be called now) I saw was absolutely horrible..she had NO clue how to cut hair like mine. She was making me look like a goddamn tree..thank god the owner of the salon showed up and had one of her top stylists fix it..cause I definitely would have sued the salon. I was very clear when I set up the appointment that I needed a seasoned stylist, yet they put me with a hack.

The best stylists I have ever had have all been MEN. Some were gay, some were straight. But all of them were very good at what they did. Interesting, hmmm?

As for the whole dating/single thing..most stylists I have encountered have been either married or in an LTR. Guess it depends on geography too. Never gave it much thought, tis just another profession. With any job you will encounter groups that seem to be chronically single; I think it's wise to base your judgments on individuals rather than an entire group.



 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Creepy
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:52:42 PM

I don't think I've ever heard of anyone who was so easily rendered "incredulous" by something so remarkably benign. I can only imagine what might have happened if he had stuck around.
Alleged Creep: So, shall we order?
You: ***hole! (Throw drink in AC's face).
(Later)
AC: Care to order dessert?
You: (Douse AC with gasoline; ignite)

Also, this is not "creepy". If he showed up with a sack of quicklime and repeatedly asked if you were sure nobody knew who you were on a date with, that would be creepy. If he suggested you two meet for a candlelit dinner immediately next to the ballpit at Chuck E. Cheese's, that would be creepy. If he returned a pair of your panties that he looted from the laundromat while your back was turned, that would be creepy. This is, at worst, garden variety rudeness.



You sound like quite a catch! Why bother with compromise and negotiation in a budding relationship when you can play the part of an unyielding adolescent who never outgrew her princess complex instead?


I think I love you...


OT: Yeah, not creepy. Annoying? For sure. Inconvenient? Yup. But like others have said, and even you , you knew what you were in for (he warned you ahead of time) and yet you decided to meet him anyway. As such, you own the blame on this one darlin'.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:02:18 AM
I receive a fair number of emails here..but it's either feast or famine. One day I may get ten, and then only get one or two per day for a week or more.

I do not reply to most of them. Why? A lot of men don't respond well to rejection..and I just got sick of being insulted. No reply = not interested, clearly.

Last week I had a fellow write to me, no pic on his profile, user name I didn't recognize. He mentioned in his email that he had written me a number of times and I had never responded. I wrote back, and asked him why he would write to me more than once if I had never responded to him. He was in effect calling me shallow, and yet, he kept writing to me. WTF?!

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from a fellow who intrigued me..and we have been in contact ever since. We haven't met yet (distance/schedules), but on paper we get along very well. Remains to be seen if it will go anywhere.

I would love to meet someone and be able to hide my profile for good (would stay for the forums, of course). I am tired of this whole online dating scene, and the lack of follow through. I have been guilty of this as well, no doubt. But, I do not read the emails in my inbox for "entertainment" and sit back and wait for the next batch. Very few of them contain anything remotely interesting, usually it's a "would you like to chat", and I NEVER respond to those. Give me something to chat about, or don't bother.

JMO

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:18:18 AM
I am a smoker.

*shrugs*

I am almost exclusively contacted by non-smokers. It states on my profile that I smoke. I do not, nor would I ever, lie about it. Now that being said, the last 3 guys I met didn't smoke, and so I didn't smoke when I was with them. At all. Out of respect for them.

Did they ask me to do this? Nope. Was the subject ever brought up? Nope. My ex-boyfriend was an ex-smoker..he didn't care if I smoked around him. He even insisted I smoke in his house, though I was there a number of times before I did. I would NEVER smoke in anyone's house without express permission..and if they didn't smoke, I would either wait until I left, or smoke outside. No big deal.

I love how no one bats an eye when someone bashes a smoker..someone in this thread said smoking is worse than being addicted to heroin. Really? You think so? Because I don't. I would never in a million years use heroin..it is an illegal drug, it is highly addictive (yes, smoking is as well, but NOT to the same degree at all), and obviously when people use, they get high, thus changing who they are to a certain extent. When a "junkie" doesn't get their fix they can be dangerous and unpredictable, and the withdrawal symptoms can be incapacitating..this is not true of a smoker. Yes, they may be ****y, but have you ever heard of a smoker robbing someone, or prostituting themselves just to get a cigarette? I don't think so.

Smoking is a terrible habit, no doubt. So is eating to much fatty foods and being obese. So is drinking a lot of alcohol. And on and on and on. Bottom line is, if you don't like it, stay away from it. Not rocket science.

The lady in question shouldn't have lied. That to me, is the real issue here. If it's deal breaker for you Opie, then break the deal.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 101 (view)
 
My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:13:25 PM

no that's completely wrong it's how a woman respects and loves the man. sex is important but....if she's a good woman it wouldn't matter if he married her and she was in a wheelchair he would not even consider cheating on her or having sex with someone else. a guy is a guy he's just happy to get sex. good sex, bad sex, whatever sex so it ain't about that and if any of you guys say...oh yes it was your full of...sh#t. it's about the woman and if she respects you and you respect her. you wouldn't even consider it. just another excuse.


Now this, this is the best response I think I've read from the male point of view. Very well said inncsearching, and kudos to you for being so "evolved".

And now for a step back in time:


I will admit, if a lady cannot satisfy me in the bedroom and can't give me very enjoyable sex to the point where when in the heat of passion she makes me feel big time euphoria, then I will leave her.


Mhm. And are you giving as good as you are requesting?


I worked hard to get into the shape and to look the way I look, and I expect the same from her. I like nice beautiful womanly curves, a healthy broad sexy chest, you know, someone who has alittle meet in the RIGHT places. I would love her to have long dark hair, and any coloured eyes. As for skinn colour, I would prefer slightly darker then white, like the Meditterenean/Hispanic, Italian, Middle Eastern mixed kind of looks.


And this has what to do with the subject of this thread exactly? Put your preferences in your profile please, not in an open forum, unless the thread is specifically asking for that type of feedback. Thanks.


I have ALOT to offer, and I'm not being **** or arrogant , just confident and very happy with how I developed and grew over the years. I privide a great 5 star plus body and look, and so should she!!!!


Um..yes, you are being c*cky AND arrogant. Beauty is subjective, and in the eye of the beholder. You may think you have a *ahem* "5 star plus" body and look, but I'll wager ya that a lot of women (and men) don't agree. Because we all have different preferences, and like different body types. But again, this has nothing to do with the subject at hand. It's about bad sex and cheating, not appearance.

Husbands cheat. Wives cheat. It is mainly due to a lack of respect, a lack of nurturing in the relationship, and a breakdown in communication. Some people just aren't meant to be together.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Dealing with the crazies
Posted: 10/26/2009 3:31:19 PM

Kiss my ass!


Bare it and we'll share it Opie.

Seriously, that the best ya got?


I never at any point implied that I said she cheated on me; what she did was TANTAMOUNT to cheating. For those of you that didn't make it out of middle school, I said what she did was similar to cheating; maybe leading me on would've been a better choice of words.



From Merriam Webster:


Main Entry: tan·ta·mount
Pronunciation: \ˈtan-tə-ˌmau̇nt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: obsolete tantamount, noun, equivalent, from Anglo-French tant amunter to amount to as much
Date: 1641

: equivalent in value, significance, or effect


Shall I post the definition of equivalent Opie, or can you look it up yourself?

So what she did was tantamount to cheating, or, equivalent , meaning the SAME. Your words Opie. Perhaps YOU should consider the meaning behind your words before you create sentences with them. Just a thought.

Oh, and yeah, there are sharks in these here waters. Best watch yourself, I've seen many a fish filleted for much less.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Dealing with the crazies
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:26:16 PM
Gah..where to begin? Really Opie, really? She's crazy?


We hadn't met in person, but her "intuition" said we were meant to be together. I was also having personal issues with an ex that had just hurt me real bad, and I didn't want to drag her into it, so I tried to break it off with her, but she said she wasn't going to give up on me.



Not even 24 hours later she texts me and says we should be friends (come to find out she met someone else). I wrote her a very negative letter about how what she did to me was tantamount to cheating (she bragged about always being faithful. I mainly wrote this letter hoping she would leave me alone).


Oh my f*cking god..you never met in person, but she cheated on you? WHAT?!


I agree to meet with her in person.


Because she's super crazy and I am afraid she is a stalker and I just want her to leave me alone and anyway she cheated on me and so I cannot trust her and...

Holy crap Opie, read your own words. Get thee to a psychiatric hospital, poste haste!!

*shakes head*
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
A toast to all you wonderful, single, available men...
Posted: 10/26/2009 10:11:44 AM
Oh wow..this one has me flabbergasted. I mean really, truly flabbergasted.


When I date ladies, and it happens alot, I will admit, I only see them as one night stand material, because I just feel there is not much underneath the skin and the outside beauty to keep me interested. So to my shame, I will admit, that I do and most likely will do some one stands even this week, with ladies I just find physically attractive, and well thats it


Darlin'..sounds like there isn't much "underneath" your skin either.


Many of them, just appear to be miserable, bitter, whiny, ungrateful son of a guns, and you wish that they maybe (and I mena this in a gentle loving way), you wish that maybe they would just kind of fall on their head and that when they got up, that would somehow miraculously smarten them up and bring them back to reality and awaken their conscience and heart.


Perhaps we can all wish the same for you? Perhaps it would smarten you up and bring you back to reality?


I know everything thats going on, and I am seriously very good in analyzing people, and I can read them very well, maybe too well.


Heal thyself!! If you are so terribly insightful, and know everything that is going on, you should be able to change your own ways, dontcha think? Ah, but the flesh, the flesh is weak.


I HATE doing that, I mean I certainly don't do it THAT much, but I do it sometimes admittedly, and again, I am NOT proud of it at all, but when I do it, it's because many of them have no substance .


Hello pot? This is the kettle. You're black.




OT: I am soooo excited that yet another woman has chosen to spew the drivel from "He's just not that into you". *GAGS*

Tell me Opie, are you getting paid to promote that crap? It's called common sense . Shocking revelation that a man who is MARRIED or otherwise attached isn't emotionally available..guess I better stop pining for them now. Thanks Opie, sooo much for opening my eyes.

Ooooohhhh, here's another totally overused catch phrase:

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/24/2009 12:08:01 PM
Lol, too funny. I actually thought at first the Opie was the girl..my apologies.

Opie, she's a tease if she became angry when you reacted to all of her not-so-subtle hints. Or..you did something wrong. Could be the way you kiss (if you kissed her), or perhaps you were too rough, or went for the "kill" too soon..it is hard to say without more information. If all you did was try kissing her and she became upset, then she's definitely a flake and doesn't know what she wants.

And what is with the points thing?
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:26:08 PM

Don't add any man you intend/want/hope to date to MyFaceSpaceBook until you're actually in a committed relationship.


I agree with this completely. My ex and I had a lot of trouble with the whole facebook drama thing..mostly on his end. He would vent in his status about me which I considered completely unacceptable. One day he thought my status was directed at him (it was a random comment directed at no one) and by the time I got home from work he had trashed me all over his page and mine. Soooo not cool.

After we broke up we remained fb friends..until I made a silly comment on his status one day and he removed me. Sigh, he never did get my humor.

I now add no one that I'm even remotely interested in dating. I even waited 2 years to add my best friend from work, who also happens to be my assistant manager. I added him now because I am leaving the company (in 2 days). Before that, it was a conflict of interest, in both our eyes.

Relax, try to be patient, I know it's hard when you really like someone, you just want things to hurry up and happen, but if you push, you'll lose. So stay of his fb page, keep yourself busy, and let things happen naturally.

Good luck Opie.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 79 (view)
 
My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad
Posted: 10/20/2009 5:20:25 PM
In my last relationship it was my boyfriend who had the low sex drive. In the beginning, the sex was amazing, and mutually satisfying for both of us. Over time, the frequency decreased, and so did the quality. Before I knew it, it was 6+ weeks between, and then a 20 minute session of vanilla sex.

When I tried to approach him about the subject, he would become belligerent, and accused me of putting far too much importance on sex. He said that sex was something you should treasure, and thus you should hold off and allow the passion to build, in order for it to be "special".

I tried to accept this, and focus on other things, and not think about it too much..but it was very, very difficult. I have a very high sex drive and very much wanted to have sex with him as often as possible..but he would shoot me down more often than not. So you see, it happens to women too. I knew the relationship was over when I started looking elsewhere..I never cheated, but the thought crossed my mind more than once..and I had sooo many offers, it was difficult to resist..and I realized that I had no ties to this man, no reasons to suffer in a relationship where I was feeling very dissatisfied..and for the record, the decline of our sex life led to other problems in the relationship, not vice-versa.

Oh, and the length of our relationship? A mere eight months. Sigh.

Cheating/bad sex/low libido's are NOT gender specific. It can go either way.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Wonky Email Issues
Posted: 10/19/2009 6:23:27 PM
Cowboy..I think I need to clarify what I wrote in the original post.

I have a number of emails in my inbox..at least 4 pages worth. Now 7 of them were unread, and all from different users. They were not however, all received on the same day.

I was able to open 3 of these successfully, merely by clicking on the email. The other 4 showed no content whatsoever when I opened them, not even a user name or subject line. I was able to access 3 of them through my contact history, but I cannot find the 4th user anywhere in my history. So, as of today it still says I have "1 New Message". Keep in mind that I have exchanged at least a dozen emails (likely more) with other users since this has transpired, as well as received first contact emails that I was able to read with no problems whatsoever.

The one fellow whose email shows as empty of content is a separate, but related issue. When I went back in my inbox to read his message, it was empty. So, I went to my sent messages and clicked on the email I sent him..and again, completely empty. I have randomly checked emails received from other users, and have found none that seem to follow this pattern.

Now, if you are suggesting that I delete all 4 pages of emails in my inbox in order to reset a glitch the system is experiencing..well, I am unwilling to do that. I have some wonderful emails that I would like to hold on to..and yes, I know they auto delete eventually, but for now I prefer to keep them (bit of a hoarder in me perhaps). And for the record, the email that is still sitting in my inbox is from a user I have never corresponded with before, and as such never was able to read his message. ( I also checked to see if I had contacted him first, in my contact history, and he isn't there)

I am curious to know if others are experiencing the same problem, or if it is an isolated event.

Thanks for your help at any rate, I do appreciate you taking the time out to offer me suggestions.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Suggestion/comment for POF
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:39:24 PM
Just disappointed that now, There are some quality women here that I'd like to throw my hat into the ring for... and I cant because 3 years ago I decided to say hi to someone that your site might find as being unscrupulous...


Darlin', it isn't the site that finds these people unscrupulous, it is the quality women you so long to now contact. Every person on this site has the option of blocking those who regularly contact IE'S.


Some STD's do not have a shelf life, or expire - consequently neither does this flag.


Beautifully put trapped!
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:56:25 PM

Did anyone say meow?


Oh look, another guy with an original response!!




Woman cheat because their monogamous partner is not making them feel desired or desirable. They are no longer feeling protected.
Men cheat because their monogamous partner is not making them feel desired or desireable. They are no longer feeling nutured.
When ^^^ this occurs, bad sex follows.. for ^^ this to occur it is the fault of both people.. the cheater and the cheated on both then become casualities of a disfunctional partnership, unless they strive to correct the "un" parts in their relationship. Infidelity often is the result.


Well put, and very valid points made.


Wishes Granted, what topic on this whole site itsn't redundant?


Agreed. Every topic has been done, but with new blood comes new perspectives, and it's always interesting, and often educational to experience the same situations thru a different set of eyes.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:12:05 PM
Interesting theory Opie, but of course, it is penned from the male point of view. As such, it is incomplete, and one-sided.

In my longest relationship, he cheated on me. When? Well, in the time period after I had our 2 children and was unable to have intercourse, and was of course both mentally and physically exhausted. Was he there for me? Did he try to help out, to give me some "down time"? Nope.

Our sex life declined because our relationship declined. Period. I began to detest him, to resent him, and it got to the point that the thought of him touching me made me nauseous. I know he resented me, trust me, he was very vocal about it. But he never listened to what I had to say. He became increasingly emotionally and physically abusive, and yet he expected me to be "good to go" at a moments notice. Can't imagine why I wasn't.

Sorry darlin', but your theory doesn't wash. In some cases, sure, it could be valid. But across the board? Nope.

Nice try though. Oh, and if your theory has held to be true with the women you've been seeing/sleeping with, I suggest you look at the common denominator in all of those situations. That would be YOU .

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Wonky Email Issues
Posted: 10/18/2009 11:07:49 AM


That said, if clicking the messages in the history changed the status of one of the four messages, see what happens if you do that also for the other three. Perhaps it will clear the glitch.


So, I attempted to do this. Worked with 2 of them, but the 3rd is nowhere to be found in contact history. I went to the very beginning, and nothing (thought perhaps he had written to me previously).

So, now it says "1 new message", but again, when I click on it, empty.

Thank-you Balled Eagle, for your help and suggestions, it is much appreciated and I have been remiss in not thanking you sooner.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Wonky Email Issues
Posted: 10/18/2009 9:39:07 AM
Just a little more info: When I originally attempted to read these emails (yesterday), I had 7 in my inbox. I was able to read 3 of them just fine, but not the other 4. When I went into the message history and clicked on the one, once I returned to my inbox it told me I only had 3 new emails now.

I am guessing by the lack of a mod answer that they have no clue what's going on with this. The strangest thing is that the email from the one particular user, whom I replied to, both show up with no content in my inbox and my sent messages, but are in our message history. Just his though.

If a mod has any clue as to what is going on, I would very much appreciate a reply. Thanks guys!
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Wonky Email Issues
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:18:09 PM
See, that's just it, today alone I've sent/received at least 10 emails from other users. That's what doesn't make sense.

I didn't check the message history though, I shall do that now.

*Edit: Messages are in the message history. And the plot thickens...
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Wonky Email Issues
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:01:53 PM

Has the profile of the correspondent been closed/deleted?


Nope. Their user name is still there, and so is their profile. The fellow I actually replied to, I have on my favorites. At first I thought maybe he had blocked me or something, but he still shows up both in my inbox and my favorites.

Tis a conundrum, for sure.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Wonky Email Issues
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:11:32 PM
I looked, but couldn't find anyone with the same issue I am having. If I missed it, my apologies, point me in the right direction.

I currently have 4 emails sitting in my inbox. I clicked on all 4. They show as empty emails, no user name, no content whatsoever. When I return to my inbox, they still show up as unread.

This happened with an email exchange I had with a fellow as well. My message to him is empty, as is his to me (already read). I have had a number of exchanges with other users in between these ones with NO issues whatsoever, so I suspect the problem isn't on my end. Any ideas/suggestions?

Thanks in advance!!
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
He can't afford to date you!
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:34:04 PM
MEN!! Take note. This is a thread started by a man. Saying that some men cannot afford to date some women. Sweet, isn't it? Kinda puts a new spin on all the damn golddigger threads around here.

Opie, I gotta say, you look absolutely amazing for your age. Kudos. You look better than most 40-year old men I know..

As for your friend's problem, sounds like she is stereotyping men, as are you somewhat. Just because a guy works out at the "Y" doesn't mean he's poor. She's a professional and works out there, right?

And I'm sure there are some very nice, fun, attractive available doctors and lawyers out there. Somewhere. Maybe?
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
She brought a friend to our date..
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:46:21 PM

If you notice the obvious thing is that your date told YOU it was ok to leave and not her girlfriend so.....


This is what jumped out at me as well. I understand why you agreed to the friend coming along, even though you weren't happy about it. You wanted to see her, figured this was the only way to ensure you would, and so agreed. Completely understandable when you really like someone.

But, the fact that she told you it was ok for you to leave..well, it speaks volumes darlin'. If she really wanted to be with you, she would have gone out of her way to pay attention to you, or at the very least pull you aside, apologize, and ask that you bear with it because she was really enjoying being out with you.

Then again, you're young, presumably she is as well, maybe she felt more pressure from her friend to make her the center of her attention, rather than you, and she caved in to it. Who knows?

I would move on, if she really likes you, she will contact you, and then you can decide where to go from there.

Good luck Opie.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Would anybody have done the same?
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:15:54 PM

Would anybody have done the same?


Not a bloody chance in hell. Seriously, what you did, you did out of spite. You were hurt, and felt betrayed, and wanted him to suffer the way you were suffering. I mean, why should he have his cake and get to eat it too?

What you two were doing is commonly referred to as "sexting". I am on the fence as to whether or not I think he was cheating..you two weren't actually intimate since he began dating this woman, correct? You just engaged in phone play/word play.

I dunno. A little low, sure. But cheating? Every time someone (be it man or woman) views pornography while in a committed relationship, is that cheating as well? If they read erotica, and perhaps self pleasure whilst doing so..again, cheating? Of course not. So, in my opinion, I don't really think this qualifies either.

Bottom line: you way over stepped your bounds by contacting her, and then being upset by his reaction..well, that's just silly. How did you think he would react? Run back to you? Yeah, not bloody likely.

But, you can sleep well at night knowing you "did the right thing" and caused this poor woman, who's "been through so much" even more pain. Kudos to you Opie.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
My Nightmare Date (long read!!)
Posted: 10/14/2009 5:21:44 PM

And she said "JEWISH!! HEAHH! HEAHH!" She's starting to remind me of the Chicken Lady from Kids in the Hall.


OMG!! I freaking love the chicken lady!! Did she shed feathers too? Cause that would be absolutely awesome.

Funny story Opie. I can definitely commiserate with not knowing how to extricate yourself from the situation. Even though she was socially inept, embarrassing as hell, and obviously had no clue how to act in a public venue, you stuck it out rather than risk hurting her feelings..assuming she had feelings..

Thanks for sharing your experience Opie. It was a very entertaining read, and quite well written. Now get out there and have more nightmare dates and then come back and share them with us, k?
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 88 (view)
 
Broken Up With For The Strangest Reasons
Posted: 10/13/2009 6:43:24 PM



*leaves room to clean up vomit*
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Broken Up With For The Strangest Reasons
Posted: 10/13/2009 6:33:33 PM
Enough. Really. I swear, if you write ONE MORE TIME what a "good guy" you are, and how messed up it is that she broke up with YOU (Mr. Good Guy), I'm going to projectile vomit.

You know, my ex thinks he's the greatest guy in the world. Owns his own home, has a really good job, nice car, all the toys, never been married, no kids. And guess what? He's an egotistical ***hole. Nothing I did was good enough for him..ever. I am a single mother of two, I work two jobs, and I never asked him for a damn thing..except to be there for support when I was having a bad day.

Within a few months he was criticizing everything I did..and always said "don't take it personally, it's constructive criticism". And "you need to read beyond the words", whatever the f*ck that means.

Guess what darlin'? The fact that you keep reiterating in every post about what a good guy you are tells me you are anything but, and you are suffering from a guilty conscience. Or, perhaps you are like my ex, and constantly told her how great you are..and she just couldn't bear to listen to it anymore.

~Feed The Soul. Starve The Ego. ~
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
the drunken phone call
Posted: 10/11/2009 2:12:26 PM
I used to..now I don't get out of bed for anybody. ;^)

IF it's an emergency, I know my phone will ring repeatedly, and only then will I will walk ALL the way upstairs to see who it is..I have an ex that drunk dials me on occasion, and I hate missing his calls, because he's a blast to talk to when he's drunk!! But, alas, I always seem to miss them. :(

Talking about disrespect, I have a story. The last guy I dated (8 months), I called him at 3 a.m. one night, and it WAS an emergency. He told me to call someone else, no way he was coming over and risking not making work in the morning. And yes, I had to go to the hospital. The next morning, he plastered a bunch of shit all over facebook about how "he didn't sign up for this" and other crap.

Now that, in my opinion, is disrespectful. And also another reason why he is now an ex.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Broken Up With For The Strangest Reasons
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:12:34 PM

Well...as far the sex goes we never actually had sex.We did pretty much everything else but she is the type to wait a bit to have sex.


So let me get this straight..you dated for 3 months and never had sex? Darlin'..I think I found your answer. Unless she is a virgin, the lady in question just wasn't that attracted to you. Everything else clicked..but she just couldn't overcome the lack of chemistry. This is my interpretation, for what it's worth.

You don't mention her age I don't think..but you do mention she dated "deadbeats". Did they happen to be "hot" deadbeats? Was it sheer physical attraction that drew her into those relationships? Perhaps she was trying to break the mold with you..and it backfired.

I could very well be wrong, of course. You have no photo posted, so none of us can see what you look like. For all I know you are drop dead gorgeous. Even so, it sounds like you two just didn't have the chemistry needed to cement the relationship, but, not wanting to hurt your feelings in THAT area, she chose to list more shallow, materialistic reasons for ending it.

JMO
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Honesty
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:54:05 PM
Tough question Opie. I asked a similar one a couple of years back..but mine pertained to events that had happened previously , not ongoing "complications" as you put it. In my case, it was things that had occurred in a previous relationship that may or may not cause someone to view me differently..and, at that time, I think I really hadn't yet dealt with the full affects they had on me.

It is so very dependent on what you are referring to. If you are already involved but trying to extricate yourself, well naturally you shouldn't be looking to get involved with someone new until you are free and clear. Other than that..I think you should wait until you at least meet the person, and decide if you want to pursue it any further. Being honest is admirable, but you don't need to disclose all your skeletons before you even know if you want to pursue a relationship with the person.

You come across as being quite articulate and intelligent to me, and as such I am confident that you possess the ability to read people and know if they are very close-minded, or easygoing and non-judgmental. Take your time, get to know them a bit more, and then decide if it's worth your time to take them into your confidence. Just as they are trusting you to be honest, you should expect a level of trust from them when sharing your intimate details.

A little advice? Drop some of the restrictions on your profile, often people from the forums will want to offer private feedback, and with your restrictions a lot of us are unable to.

One more thing..change your main pic to the last one on your profile, you look very attractive in that one, no obvious mirror/cell phone shot, and your smile is amazing!! Good luck Opie, I hope it all works out for you!
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 303 (view)
 
The shaving craze
Posted: 9/28/2009 7:46:13 PM
So shaving is a "fashion trend" is it? Hmmm..I don't know about other women, but I don't often (read: ever) see anyone's **** but my own..and I like it bare. It is, for me , cleaner, more comfortable, and not only makes me feel more attractive, it also enhances sex. And, for the record, I have never, ever had a man complain about it. Quite the opposite in fact, I have received very flattering compliments..but I digress.

It doesn't matter if I am sexually active or not, I maintain it for myself, and my own pleasure. Even one day's growth makes me feel out of sorts..but, it's just personal preference. Every one has their own likes and dislikes, that's what keeps life interesting, isn't it?

Have fun!!

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 225 (view)
 
sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 9/27/2009 9:16:24 PM
I just turned 40 a month ago. My sex drive increased DRAMATICALLY at the age of 37. It keeps going up..I haven't had a lot of luck finding a partner who can keep up..and since then, all of my partners have been in their early to mid thirties. Well, there is one guy..but he lives 2 hours from me, so not convenient.

I am frequently contacted by much younger men, but have yet to wander down that path..tho some days I am sorely tempted.

~shrugs~

I just want a partner who is as into it as I am, and who isn't intimidated by my hunger..rather he embraces it and revels in it. Too much to ask for? I hope not.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 128 (view)
 
She threw my car into park...
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:35:34 PM
Jesus, tough room!! Y'all are accusing the Opie of fabricating this story because "blah blah blah (list reason of choice here) ". The fact is NONE of you were there. He told us about a bad dating experience. Why oh why does everyone always have to rip the Opie to shreds? In the 3+ years I've had a profile on here, I've started 3 threads. Why? Well, for this very reason. You go looking for advice, or just want to share an experience, and people jump all over you. Absolutely disgusting.

OT: Shitty experience you had Opie. I can imagine that at the time, when you're in the situation, it's difficult to react..who expects such behavior from a grown woman? And to those who said they would have just thrown her out of the car..I don't think most of you would. Would she have deserved it? Certainly. But most of are raised to be civil, even in situations such as this.

And to the dude patting himself on the back..a little premature darlin'. The only one I see trying to garner attention in this thread is YOU. The Opie did indeed identify the make/model and year of his car, as others have pointed out. You just made yourself look like an ass.

For the record? The last 2 vehicles I have owned, you can easily remove the key from the ignition when it is in operating mode. Both vehicles were late '90's models.

Glad to hear you've suffered no ill effects Opie, nor did your car. A new tranny is a painful touch. Good luck in the future darlin'.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Stepping out of your COMFORT ZONE or your routine.
Posted: 9/15/2009 4:47:20 PM
I have a plan..to step out of my comfort zone. You see, I am a single mother of 2, and I also have 2 jobs, one full time, one part time. Guess what I do in my downtime? I don't have downtime. I cook, I clean, I get things ready for the next day..and occasionally, I peruse the forums.

I just found out that KISS is coming to my city in November. I intend to attend. The last big concert I attended was Rod Stewart..in 1988. How horrible is that?

I am going with a girl from work, and I am going to have a fabulous time!! I don't much care if I meet someone there or not..I care more about getting out, and LIVING again. I've been existing for far to long.

On a side note, my part time job actually affords me the opportunity to meet new people, as I work in an Arts and Convention center, and so I am present at many different events, with people from all walks of life. Just this past Saturday I worked the Mayor's Gala, which was quite an experience!! Taking this job was a step outside my comfort zone, as I am constantly plunged into different roles at a moments notice. I love it!! And I get paid!

There is definitely something to be said for taking risks..and it sure keeps life interesting.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 87 (view)
 
10 things I hate about you.
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:16:27 AM
I'll play along, maybe finally putting it in writing will cut any final ties..

1. I hate how you made me feel like I was "less than", and I let you
2.I hate the way you looked at me when we were together, like I was the most beautiful woman in the world
3. I hate how you said nothing could ever make you cut me from your life..and 5 days later you did just that
4. I hate how bloody egotistical you are, and how much you constantly brag about yourself
5. I hate how much it hurt when you weren't there for me the night I had to go to hospital
6. I hate the fact that I wanted you sexually, and you made me feel like I was shallow because of it
7. I hate that I let you come back into my life and allowed myself to question my choices
8. I hate that I still care what you think
9. I hate knowing that I burned the bridge this time..even though I am proud that I finally stood up for myself with you
10. I hate having to once again let you go..and questioning whether or not I can. You are poison for me, and never appreciated who I am, only what you could "mold" me into.

Yeah, I don't feel better. Sigh, oh well, it was worth a try.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Deal-Breakers! How soon is too soon?
Posted: 8/22/2009 4:53:36 PM
When I met my last bf we discussed sex..he told me he had I high sex drive, I said the same. Guess who didn't tell the truth?

Every guy I have corresponded with since being single again I have brought up the sex subject with..before we've even met. I am very open, and very honest about it. None of them have misunderstood and thought I was looking solely for sex..because I initiate an open, honest dialogue with them.

Those that aren't willing to discuss it..well, then they're not someone I would be interested in pursuing anything with. I'm an adult, they're adults, and we should be able to discuss these things without anyone getting uncomfortable.

If a guy were to make such a statement: 'I would never even consider that!" then I would likely move on. I prefer to be around those who are open and easygoing..makes things a lot more fun.

And, I agree with the other poster who mentioned asking a guy if he would submit to anal being a completely different thing altogether..anal is enjoyable for both the man and the woman when done correctly . A woman posing this question in the way the 2 poster's here have is clearly implying that it is a degrading act that no one would willingly submit too..at least that's how I interpreted their words. This is simply not true. Of course, I can only speak for myself.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Hilarioiusly bad communication blunders/misunderstandings
Posted: 8/21/2009 8:21:16 PM
Ah, this happened just today at work..

A unit manager, the assistant manager and I were discussing one of the other unit managers (we have a LOT of managers! ). He has a problem with excess mucous..he is constantly snorting, and hawking and..omg, it's soooo f*cking disgusting.

So, I go on to explain how very much mucous grosses me out..and end my sentence by saying "I find bodily secretions disgusting".

I look a the unit manager (female) and she's laughing so hard she has tears streaming down her face..the assistant manager (male) is chuckling behind me..I'm completely puzzled, I have NO idea what's so funny..after a minute the light bulb goes on..and I looked at her and laughed a little..I said, oh yeah bodily secretions ..assistant manager pipes up "I'm guessing she's a spitter"

Unit manager says "I was thinking more of a dodger" and she ducks and weaves as she says it..

Sigh. It was funny..but I was really embarrassed and of course made it worse by trying to clarify which bodily secretions I meant..

TGIF.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/16/2009 8:18:41 PM
^^^^^darlin'..the OP was written by a man about dating a girl 19 years younger..so now what say you? Is he old enough to be her father?

Sheesh. Reading comprehension in these forums is questionable at best...

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Hugs: Harmless or Meaningful
Posted: 8/16/2009 4:41:17 PM
Many months ago I received an email from a fellow POFer. At the time my status was "not single/not looking", and so we merely became "email buddies". He sent me a picture of himself, and it was him hugging a girl who was holding a sign that said "free hugs". I'm sure you've heard of this, where random people stand on street corners holding these signs, and hug anyone who's willing.

It became somewhat of a standing joke between us, and we would discuss when we were going to meet so I could get my free hug. We even went so far as to describe what kind of hug it might be..all in good fun. Sometime later I noticed his profile was deleted..it made me sad, but I hoped that it meant he had met someone wonderful and was happy.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago..I'm single again..I receive an email, not from him, but from a friend of his who has a profile on here. Passing along a message for him..I was flattered. I contacted him at the email address his friend gave me, and we began chatting again. Still, the free hug issue came up..

Yesterday we finally met in person. Within 30 seconds, we were hugging each other. It was..well, arguably the best hug I've ever gotten. Well worth the wait..

During the course of our meet we hugged a few more times, with each subsequent hug becoming more and more intense..so for us, I can honestly say the hugs were very meaningful.

As for your situation Opie, only you can say for certain. How did you feel during the hug? Was it a long hug, a quick hug, the kind of hug one gives their brother? Or was it a full contact hug, with numerous body parts connecting? Did it have meaning for you, or merely make you uncomfortable? You are the best judge of whether or not the hug was harmless or meaningful.




 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Worst Date. Ever.
Posted: 8/16/2009 1:44:21 PM

But.. to give you all an update the sex crimes united Still hasnt went to his home to retrieve all my belongings after we chatting when they keep asking me THE SAME ole question so that they cam make the arrest i gave them His name and phone number


Why on earth would the sex crimes unit be involved? You went to his home willingly, you shared his bed willingly, at no time did you mention being held against your will..

Honestly, I would expect a 44-year-old women to be smarter than this..I am sorry you lost your belongings, but at least you didn't lose your life. In the future maybe slow it down a bit, and wait to have sleepovers until after the first date/meet? Just a suggestion..

On topic: Opie, great story, and like have others have said, you handled yourself with grace and dignity. One poster had said he would have beat the guy down in the same situation..good for you for being above Neanderthal reactions. The person in question should not have misled you, but for anyone to retaliate with violence..well, that would make the situation so much worse, and definitely wouldn't make him/her be more upfront in the future.

Good luck with your future meets Opie, I hope you find what you are looking for.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 70 (view)
 
My First Date With Patricia (im 59 she's 53)
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:07:05 PM
Hello again Opie!! I am sorry to hear things didn't progress further with Patricia, but happy to hear you had fun while it lasted. I requested that the post by ninna be deleted as it contains your phone number, so hopefully the mods will get on it quickly.

Good luck in the future Opie!! Oh, and no more standing anyone up, m'kay! Be a good boy now..

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/15/2009 11:17:14 AM
Due to the fact I have a terrible migraine today I will keep this post short. I just wanted to comment on your subsequent replies 8soldierfalcon8.

I am impressed with your well thought out answers, and with the fact that you didn't automatically bash me because I singled you out. I have experienced that in these waters, and it's tiresome and doesn't contribute in any way to the topic of discussion.

You have very valid points. When I was younger and dated older it was because the men were more stable, intelligent, and mature. They knew what they wanted (for the most part) and didn't play childish games. They also carried themselves with a quiet confidence which, to me, is very, very sexy and attractive.

I find myself contacted on a daily basis by younger men now. Early twenties mostly..and yes, I know what most of them are looking for, no delusions here. My last relationship was with a fellow 7 years younger. My kids Dad is 6 years younger than me. I am almost exclusively attracted to men in their thirties now..I could try to explain why, but my head hurts too damn much now.

Every young guy that contacts me I pose the same question to: "Why are you interested in older women?" Every one has told me the same thing, that older women know what they want, don't play games, and (generally speaking) are more confident and self-assured.

~shrugs~

Is what it is. If the Opie decides to date this girl, I wish him well. She could well be a very mature, intelligent, and confident 22-year-old. It could be the best relationship of their lives. Let's just wish him well, and stop perceiving that he has some inadequacies he's trying to make up for.

It would be nice if he would come back and update us though..

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:58:18 PM
I am wondering why the Opie hasn't come back to give us some insight/update/comment on his thread..I find it annoying when one posts a question to the forum fishies and then never returns..

Now, I have a few comments. First off, 8soldierfalcon8. Darlin', what's the deal? This isn't the first thread I've seen you in openly insulting/bashing older women. Why the hatred for the older ladies darlin'? Did you have an unpleasant experience with one, or do older women just turn you off that much? I do have a question about something you said in particular:


The really messed up thing about that is that the older man dating a younger woman thing can lead to marriage. It's about a committed relationship.



Cougars just get sex.


Do you have the stats to back up this claim you make? Seriously..younger women and older men lead to commitment and marriage, whereas the most an older woman ((read: cougar )) can hope for is sex, but only for a little while..of course, I added the last part. Interesting theory..I'm sure no young women use older men for sex, cause sex with a 22-year-old inexperienced guy is soooo freakin' awesome (for argument's sake, I chose this age, nothing else). Believe it or not, I was not always a dried up old cougar, and when I was in my twenties dated exclusively older men. When I think back now, well, being pursued by 24 year olds when I was 16 is definitely creepy..but, I was terribly flattered at the time.

~shrugs~

With age comes wisdom, and knowledge, and experience, good and bad. But, there is definitely something about the fresh-faced optimism of youth, the untouched purity, the innocence and excitement they radiate..come back and tell us what you're up to Opie, inquiring minds want to know.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
The General Lee... on a Date...
Posted: 8/13/2009 4:25:20 PM
I would think it was totally cheesy..and totally cool!! I love muscle cars..first car I ever drove was a 1970 Ford Mustang fastback..351 Cleveland, awesome car!! Ever since, I've had a weakness for Detroit steel.

I also fondly remember being 9 years old and lying on the floor in front of the TV on Friday night, 10pm, watching the Dukes of Hazzard..was a very special thing to get to stay up that late and watch that show. I had the biggest crush on Bo..and pretty sure I wanted to be Daisy..

Yup, gotta say it would totally rock, and I would be totally impressed!
 
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