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idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 1399 (view)

What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart?? Posted: 9/27/2009 11:04:17 AM
Suicide is not selfish, it is the release from unbeable pain that the person cannot believe will ever end. It is an answer to what seems an endless existence that simply cannot be tolerated by some of the sweetest souls, those with the most giving hearts and those who are most sensitive. Do not pass judgment unless you personally have experienced that pain and simply cannot believe it will ever end. There can be many factors that play into the decision that not another soul knows about. I speak from experience of nearly losing the most important person in my life and of losing two I dearly loved. Be a bit more giving and loving and forgiving of those among us who are sensitive souls...

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'? Posted: 9/23/2009 5:35:29 PM
I would rather be happy with the right person I tend to see this question in different terms i.e. can you be happy if you are not with the right person? My experience and ego tell me that you cannot be happy with the person who is not right for you. But there are so many gray areas between being right and being happy that I find the whole question to be rather silly. You can be right about many, many things and not be happy and you can be happy while being wrong about many, many things. The question is philosophically rather ridicules don't ya think? In terms of relationships, there has to be compromise if you are with the right person. If you are with the wrong person, it really doesn't matter because no matter what you do, say, give, take, it simply won't work if you are not compatible with that person. I speak from personal experience, of course because I'm usually right Of course I am, that's why I ended up with the wrong person!

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Trying something new Posted: 9/2/2009 9:06:48 AM
Just for fun, I checked out your profile to see if you had made changes and good for you, you did. I tried to message you but was told you were not accepting mail from ppl my age and MY GENDER. You better check your settings, as I am definitely female

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

I am confused, please tell me why Posted: 9/1/2009 5:53:03 PM
Roses and ordering dinner for her = roses are overboard on a 1st date, maybe one daisy would be a nice gesture. Ordering for her, oh oh, I'm sure she has a mind of her own, all women do. But yes, too much too soon. Next time, keep yourself in check by doing something nice like dinner and then some place where you can have fun and talk but make yourself a deadline - home by 1 or 2 a.m. Roses after you both agree and feel that you want something exclusive - after you get to know the girl much better. Good luck, you have a lot of fun times ahead, don't be so hard on yourself.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Trying something new Posted: 8/30/2009 9:49:32 AM
What denim said - waaaaaay too many restrictions, good grief, the woman of your dreams might actually be farther away then 75 miles and be a couple of years older than you - you need to be open to more possibilities. And same about the pictures, get a good clear pic or two, (although mine aren't that clear either). Leave in the wine, the foot rub - that can go into an e-mail as you are getting acquainted although some women might really like to read that part, just my take on things - from someone who is older than you (and most everyone else in the world). Good luck.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Requesting your valuable insight and help Posted: 8/30/2009 9:38:20 AM
What you have written is just great, wouldn't change it, however, I think the problem may be your pics; they are not very flattering. While showing your athleticism and love of sport, they seem to make you look older than your stated age and are not taken in situations that flatter your looks. As someone who is not photogenic myself, that is what I perceived when I looked at your profile ~ good luck.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 714 (view)

Whats with women that invite their dogs into the bedroom to sleep? Posted: 8/7/2009 6:37:22 PM
PPl who don't love animals, have pets they are attached to will never understand the bond that develops between a human and dogs especially, that's ok, it is your loss but also your choice. I agree that some of the stories on here are absolutely over the top when it comes to the pet being in control. A well trained dog will not scratch the door down, have to be fed at the table between the "owner" and guest - ew ick. My dog gets a few human treats but knows which rules apply. I don't think dogs should be in the bed or the room during a romantic interlude, that would creep me out too. As to beastialty, oh gawd, get a life, sicko!

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 701 (view)

Whats with women that invite their dogs into the bedroom to sleep? Posted: 7/31/2009 8:12:51 AM
My dog sleeps with me because it is MY bed and I decide who sleeps in it.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Can I get an honest answer please Posted: 7/15/2009 11:26:29 AM
You definitely need better pics, as in SMILE, be in a fun looking place doing something fun-- look like you draw people to you because you are a real honest good guy who wants a real honest relationship. But along with that, add what kinds of fun things you would like to share with a woman and what kinds of qualities you would like to see both of you share as well as activities. And don't get too down on not getting responses, trust me at my age, I never hear from anyone who interests me, so I just come in and lend my "intelligent ideas" on forums and tell other people what to do with their profile - cause I'm obviously an expert at drawing men to me Do let us know when you update your pics and profile and don't feel alone in not getting lots of responses, lots of us don't - have a good day!

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Can I get an honest answer please Posted: 7/15/2009 3:45:34 AM
Be inclusive about what she likes to do, while explaining how you have fun indicate you want to know her likes and dislikes and hope to combine the two or compromise on your differences - women really do want to be with someone who likes to have fun and make them laugh. Maybe tease her about something like "I hope you're not into bungy jumping, hang gliding or maybe other extreme sports, but if you are, maybe you'll have to chain me up and take me with you - just don't forget the blindfold"! Glad to not see the tat -whatever it was. I also agree with a better hair cut, and some pics of you doing something fun with friends - maybe a pic at the mall - ha ha. Good luck...

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

profile review please Posted: 7/14/2009 2:29:35 PM
A quick review told me what you like to do but almost nothing about your qualities. Are you loyal, honest, etc? And, more importantly, you don't list the qualities you seek in a woman - what kind of woman do you want, what does she enjoy doing? Let them know you are interested in knowing what they like so you can both learn to like the same things or already share the same interests. Women want to know what you appreciate about them and if you could easily communicate about those things with her. They also want to know that having fun with them would be a high priority for you. Also you twice listed: you are buying a house and have lots of friends. Good luck.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Looking for a review Posted: 7/14/2009 2:13:51 PM
It is sounding better, maybe a bit too long still and I would like to see you add more of what she would like - something like - would sure like to know what kinds of music you like and who would you want to see - we could trade off on concerts if our tastes aren't a complete match...something like that. Women want their needs and wants to be recognized - a real failure on many men's parts. And glad to hear about the hair being shorter. It is hard to write about yourself, isn't it

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Looking for a review Posted: 7/14/2009 2:57:19 AM
Ok, way too much info on skiing, no need to mention all the places or prices or passes- just how much you enjoy and what type and that you would hope to find someone who would join you. No need to list your motorcycles just that you have them and would like to find someone who would want to ride with you or would be understanding that you love to ride. Be inclusive- add something about wanting to know what she enjoys and that you hope you can combine your activities, wants, ideas. Women don't like being told what to do...Personally, I would suggest a less shaggy look, get a new cut, lose the beard- at least for a while- it will all grow back if you don't like the new you. Good luck

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

I think my profle needs a tune up Posted: 7/14/2009 2:43:03 AM
You're welcome. It's looking better, but have you considered saying something such as "I would like to find someone who would enjoy the same activities I do which are....(the things you listed) and want to share in the activities you like. Be inclusive, not telling her what she will be doing and add some teases about what you are afraid she might want you to do: skydiving, bungy jumping, heliskiing- you know things most people might be scared of, teasing is a great way to add humor. I missed the separated part first time, you need to specify when you think the divorce will be final, separated men do not make for ltrs. As to the weight, I'm glad you are working on it, for your health's sake as well as being attractive to women. Weight distributes itself eveywhere - been there and know how it feels...so keep up the good work...

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

I think my profle needs a tune up Posted: 7/13/2009 8:45:44 PM
Yes, I agree. First of all the words "a whore in private" are misogynistic and a total turn off to most women - there will be plenty of time for sex talk as you become acquainted. Your profile is too long and you talk too much about you, you you. I would just throw a few of your accomplishments into the body of your profile but very briefly. The politics, religion section, same thing - a quick mention that you are liberal, conservative, whatever, you are not writing a thesis, you are writing a profile to attract someone to you because they want to get to know you, have fun with you, find out about you and yes, I like profiles with quite a bit of info, but yours is too much and too serious. Also, being perfectly honest, are you considering ways to lose weight, if so mention that you are working on it. Good luck.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Please Give Me Your Thoughts Posted: 7/13/2009 8:34:51 PM
Yes, separated elephant 1st and when is divorce to be final? You come across as stiff and formal - what do you like to do for fun, what makes you laugh, do you openly express your feelings...those are the things I like to read about - knowing someone is serious about a relationship but that the person wants to have fun is just as important at least to me - good luck.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 141 (view)

Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control? Posted: 7/4/2009 3:06:29 PM
"My boyfriend and I both work...but he does financially much better than i do. His hours are shorter but his residence is paid for. He doesnt pay for much..i pay for my movies, diners, CIGGARETTES!, groceries, clothing, gas, rent...he pays his cell bill thats it." OP, you have a lot more issues going on than whether or not he should help pay for your BC, he is a selfish, uncaring user and you are letting him do it!! Get rid of the jerk and find someone better or go it alone, you don't need a cheap, uncaring piece of sh*t like that in your life. There are guys who help out in many ways in a real relationship, sounds to me like he just cares about getting laid! And no, I am NOT suggesting men pay for everything, that is ridicules, but he should be helping you in SOME ways and paying for more than his cell phone if he really cares about you and the situation you are in -develop some backbone and send him packing. And for gawd's sake, don't trust in condoms to do the job, they are very untrustworthy for BC.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 93 (view)

Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control? Posted: 7/2/2009 3:53:29 PM
What about all the people on here who believe it is the woman's responsibility (and I am moslty among them, if he buys the condoms to prevent stds) contact your congress people and demand that birth control be covered under everyone's insurance. I find it disgusting that viagra is covered but not birth control. How sexist is that - the pill to get it up and impregnate someone is covered by insurance, but the pill or device to stop a woman from becoming pregnant isn't! And, if there are financial difficulties arising, then yes, I think the man should help with the cost of bc, if the relationship is based on equality in other areas, I can see two sides to this issue and as others have suggested, it should be brought up for discussion between the couple. But if it is a "you must pay to play" issue, no, don't agree with that idea at all.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control? Posted: 7/2/2009 7:59:34 AM
She should pay for her birth control and HE should pay for the condoms, since birth control methods (the pill and other methods) normally do NOT prevent stds. That is the main reason to use condoms, they aren't that reliable for birth control.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

The Wound Posted: 6/29/2009 5:46:26 PM
I really would like some serious feedback on my poem...but am enjoying the humor too! It is difficult to read humor, sarcasm, teasing in this format, isn't it cindiloowho ?

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

The Wound Posted: 6/29/2009 10:24:22 AM
Yep, that's me a cougar dating guys half my age who expect me to pay for my own lunch even....but on the serious side, your response probably comes from the fact that you are Half my age and cannot phathom feelings expressed at my stage in life. Anway, yes, writing is like being naked in front of the world...now somebody throw me a towel, a blankie, something, please!

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

The Wound Posted: 6/28/2009 10:41:04 PM
ok, pickle, at least I'm not sour and shaped like a ....oh never mind...your comment was funny, but my poem is quite serious, although I do write fluff stuff too...and as for the sour cream and cheese, not on my diet, but thanks for the offer and that is not a banana, it is a pickle I swear....

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

The Wound Posted: 6/28/2009 9:41:12 PM
For as long as my memory takes me into my past, it has been there. I've never been certain as to what it should be called; sometimes I call it the yearning, tonight as I contemplate it, the wound seems more appropriate. It has never been filled, healed, completed or even in a state of remission it seems. It is as though there is a gaping hole next to, beside, even inside my heart. It is a physical pain and I have tried to fill it by loving, by drinking, traveling, thinking, writing, growing a garden, watching a sunset, playing in the surf, touching a baby whale in San Ignacio Lagoon, snorkeling with stingrays and sharks, talking to counselors, educators, friends, strangers, loving animals... And yet the wound is never healed, the yearning is never satisfied, the need is never satiated, the longing is never gone, the promise is never kept, the glory is never felt, the honor is never bestowed, the wanting is never over, the hole is never filled, the loneliness is never gone, the completion is always just out of reach. I feel unwhole, incomplete, only partial, unknowing, frustrated, angry, upset and I want to cry but don't what about or why. Does everyone else feel this way, or is it just me who seems so unfulfilled, so empty, so desparately wanting to know what it is I cannot find and why. I want to fill it, goddamn it, I want to fill it 'til it overflows into my gut and flows out some heretofore unknown orifice and fills me and covers me with a wrap that is warm, golden and, most of all, happy.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

I seriously have terrible trouble APPROACHING women. Posted: 5/26/2009 9:12:41 PM
Are you trying to approach women who are "out of your league" or do you try with just someone cute who attracts you? You are a cute guy, but looks only get people so far...you need to learn the fine art of conversation. It's how people communicate with each other, can be about anything, the weather, the drinks, the music, what sports do you like...ask questions that need a complete answer, not just a yes or no. Don't say "do you like the music", say "what kind of music do you like"? Do you have a friend you could practice with - maybe you could practice until you find yourself asking questions or making remarks that won't get a yes or no answer. Many of us were shy or still are, so don't give up hope at your age - good luck!

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

am i too arrogant Posted: 5/22/2009 10:38:33 AM
I think you don't even know the meaning of the word arrogant; perhaps you should actually obtain a "graduate degree" or even a degree. Your self-description and your inability to spell and use appropriate grammar are a real give away...nothing to be arrogant about I'm afraid....

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 84 (view)

Shallow superficial seniors. Posted: 5/21/2009 9:53:03 AM
^^^^^ Actually there are theories and studies that show there may be a genetic predisposition to some personality disorders such as psycho or sociopathic behaviors. You may want to read the book "Evil Genes" by Barbara Oakley which shows the MRI imaging of criminals brains shows unusual activity in areas of the brain. This activity does not appear in "normal" people's brains. I can't get into specifics here, it is a complicated theory with diagrams, etc. but very interesting about how some people have no conscience and some do.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 71 (view)

Shallow superficial seniors. Posted: 5/19/2009 5:54:10 PM
Re: msg 70, that has been one of my thoughts, why not relocate if you can OP? But when I think of my experiences where I live, it is pretty much the same, just on a smaller less public scale I think. Same criteria posted in profiles, a woman 20 or more years younger and all that other superficial crap. I've gotten to the point, that it almost makes me laugh, especially when I actually meet one of them and they remind of Jabba the Hut from Star Wars - good luck fellas with your fantasy size 4's etc, especially the master fisher on here

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Shallow superficial seniors. Posted: 5/14/2009 5:46:53 PM
^^^^^^^ and he certainly caught some large financial fish as well as some pretty female fish to fry...err... another word starting with an "f". Now if you don't have the bait much less the boat or your line and your rod are not stout enough to handle the large game fish, perhaps your gear is better suited to the smaller fish so go fishing in shallow water. Hello, did someone miss "the fish to fry...err...another word starting with "f"." Duh, I don't believe the poster was talking about the word frolic or frenchtoast, and if talking about your line and your rod being stout enough isn't a sexual innuendo, then I guess I am just rather stupid or unaware, but I really don't think it is me with the problem. That post was mysogynistic bull about how to catch and have sex with women

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Shallow superficial seniors. Posted: 5/14/2009 8:48:58 AM
Anna Nicole Smith had the hots for that old billionaire, sure she did...the hots for his money, let's get real folks. Yes, there are sugar daddies looking for women who want sugar daddies and sometimes they find each other and leave the rest of us alone, thank gawd! There are exceptions, I'm sure, where both sexes do fall in love with someone of a different age group, but the OP is talking about her real life existence where the men around her want some young bimbo to parade around as their "trophy". "Look what my money bought me..."

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Shallow superficial seniors. Posted: 5/13/2009 7:18:20 PM
I don't meet that many men - most bore me to tears before I ever reach that stage, but I have to agree with OP, that I see sooo many profiles where older men list an age range from 35-55 and they often over 60 - give me a break! They don't seem to be looking for character qualities; they are looking for arm candy. And of the few that I have met - they are almost always totally out of shape physically. I honestly can't imagine why they think any woman, let alone a much younger one would find them attractive at all. I think they believe women just want a sugar daddy and so they think of themselves as filling the bill. And then they sit and brag about the young woman they took on a cruise, bought this and that for. And I just sit there and think, yeah, "a fool and his money are soon parted." As for me, unless a man has intelligence, is compassionate, has good character qualities, I don't want to mingle in the same city, let alone together at dinner, having coffee, whatever...But I also believe this kind of personality type comes in all age groups because they have a personality disorder often times and simply lack any empathy, sympathy or ability to truly feel anything. They can become the dangerous among us; they have no conscience.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

What do guys mean when they say "cuddle"? Posted: 4/30/2009 5:50:49 PM
Having read many profiles, it seems to me that lots of men say something similar to "I like to "cuddle" in front of the fireplace, while watching a movie or fill in the blank..." I understand physical touching, of course, but am curious as to what most men really mean when they say "cuddle"? I just don't particularly care for the word and would like some male perspective on this please. Thanks

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 102 (view)

Favorite romantic movie scene Posted: 4/28/2009 7:33:09 PM
Three scenes come to mind: Robert Redford washing Meryl's hair in "Out of Africa" OMG, the bathtub scene and dancing in the kitchen scene in "Bridges of Madison County" and the street scene when Kate and Hubbel see each other after all those years - the love is palpable-reaches right through the screen...WOW, I need to go take a cold shower~~~~~~~~ bye y'all

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 74 (view)

Suddenly Finding Myself Unattracted To Men My Own Age Posted: 4/28/2009 7:25:26 PM
As previously stated, many older men are the ones "afraid of aging" and are on the hunt for the youngster to show off on their arm. I've seen it over and over and some of my friends have experienced it. But, in society's eyes, that is perfectly ok. So, what is the problem that a woman might want someone younger because she wants to have fun, enjoy activities, be child like instead of with some old codger who thinks "fun" is staying home "cuddling" (if I read that word one more time I will puke) in front of the tv. Life is way toooo short to spend it waiting for someone to understand the need to go and do. If the OP can find younger men who want to go out, more power to her, it is all about personal choice and I, for one, know exactly how she feels as I feel the same way! Here's to excitement, fun and living life to it's fullest Good luck OP

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Suddenly Finding Myself Unattracted To Men My Own Age Posted: 4/25/2009 5:59:51 PM
My, my soooo defensive for someone who was "kind of joking". Sounds as if someone is jealous of women who find younger men attractive because they have some energy and are still interested in life. Some of us are not ready for the rocking chair yet! And by the way, it is spelled "pedophile" and looking for someone a few years younger than oneself does not classify a person as a pedophile, might want to look the word up now that it has been spelled correctly

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Suddenly Finding Myself Unattracted To Men My Own Age Posted: 4/17/2009 11:37:22 PM
Oh my, can I relate to this topic! Men my age (a total generalization I admit) do not appeal to me at all most of the time. I feel that I have more interests in life than they do, i.e. I like to do things, travel, read, be involved in the world etc. So many men I meet that are my age are into the psychologist Jung's stages of life, they are settling and accepting old age and act it, embrace it, forget there is so much joy and life yet to be had. My advice in case you are interested: date younger men whom you find attractive, lively, interested in being alive (if you can find them). I have gone out with three men recently who were in my age range, it is by no means anything but a generalization but they were overweight, (and bragging about his 7 year old son!), just separated and horny, (yep, his actual words) and someone I have known for many years who has decided to practically give up on life because of heart problems. If you can find younger men who interest you and keep you feeling alive, by all means go for it! Men do it all the time and no one thinks anything about it! It is not about just being horny, it is about wanting a fulfilling relationship and to be with someone who values the time that is left and does not want to waste it on boring activities like watching tv or staying home and doing nothing day in and day out - barf! And hi Ms. moonbeam

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 152 (view)

How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head? Posted: 1/10/2009 10:50:20 AM
I think there have been some really great suggestions here, but we are all individuals and what may work for one (writing about it for example - which is something I do) may not work for someone else. But if we try many of the suggestions and try really hard to keep active so that other thoughts and conversations are distracting us, it just may help. My worst time is when I am alone and the thoughts all come racing into my head and then my heart just hurts so bad...but I am overcoming it and moving forward each and every day. Good luck to everyone in moving on. Some can take the relationship with them forever and use it as a good thing, but for some, if the relationship was abusive, it needs to be let go or it will kill any chance of a healthy relationship in the future. JMO

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 143 (view)

How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head? Posted: 1/8/2009 8:00:24 AM
There is a type of hypno therapy called neurolinguistic programming (nlp) which can alleviate the pain associated with specific incidents. It can work wonders, depending on the situation. But for something that is extremely complex and involves years and years and multiple facets, it probably won't work. I highly recommend it for short-term relationships that don't span many years, I don't know why or how it works, but it just eliminates the pain when you think of that situation and that person, it truly is miraculous! And it only takes one session with a good nlp therapist- after a session or two of explanation. For some reason, even when we know we are better off without a "poison" person in our life, it still doesn't over rule the heart

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 136 (view)

How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head? Posted: 1/6/2009 3:15:36 PM
am still sleeping with him he dont like the thought of me being with some one but he does like the idea that you will continue to be used by him...you need to stop the game for your sake and your kids sake and please get on with your life. I know how extremely painful life is but you need to love yourself and your kids and let that be your center, not someone who doesn't value you...

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 113 (view)

How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head? Posted: 1/2/2009 10:28:02 AM
Msg 110, WHY are you still living together? Even if its economics, there are other ppl to room with, for heavens sake, get her out of your environment...that is just rubbing salt into the wound imo.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 109 (view)

How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head? Posted: 12/31/2008 6:44:11 PM
Someone told me to think this thought: "he is not looking for compassion and love, he is looking for a victim and you chose not to be his victim." I find this very empowering when I think it, say it (substituting I for you, of course) It may not apply to all ppl who are hurting so badly, but it does apply to many who get trashed by a manipulator...Happy New Year and good luck moving on and beyond the pain. Stay busy as you can and absolutely do not contact him/her - that just gives them power over you again and sets you back on any progress you have made. And good to see you again Lilwmn

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 95 (view)

Am I Being Played? Posted: 12/21/2008 10:43:31 AM
Fungirl, I am sorry for the pain you are in and I sure hope you take time to contemplate your failed divorce (no, not blaming you, it takes two) and what you did in this last situation (I wouldn't call it a relationship). You are still very young and there are lots of men your age to be found...I see them when I'm out 'n about and wish I were your age Best of luck to you in the future with a different attitude about yourself and what you really want.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Hello...Idaho Posted: 12/19/2008 9:32:01 PM
4th generation Idahoan here, and happy to live in the most beautiful state, our mtns, lakes, canyons are hardly surpassed anywhere...so much to do, including wonderful nightlige in the Boise area. Oh, about those ridicules tree huggers, who have ruined the farm land, uh, excuse me, its the developers who have ruined the farmland, duh!! A 4th generation liberal tree hugger, environmentalist, feminist - well you get the idea...so much for the red neck view

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

Am I Being Played? Posted: 12/19/2008 6:59:02 PM
Hello, this is not about an adult man and woman just "having sex", it is about the fact that she wants more than just a booty call and has feelings for the guy who has "kicked her in the shins". But, yes, she allowed and apparently continues to allow him to disrespect her...so game plan changes are now in order, I seriously doubt that will work. She has already allowed him to set the rules and she plays by them. It is a sad situation but only she has the power to stop the game.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Am I Being Played? Posted: 12/16/2008 10:40:57 PM
LOL, what a great generality, she is at her sexual peak because she is 41, so she is using him. ..they are both using each other and sexual peaks can happen at any time in one's life, I speak from experience. But the point is, she needs to get her self-respect back and stop calling this guy who disrespects her by letting her make all the moves, he is not ready for a relationship. period. and I don't think she is either.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Am I Being Played? Posted: 12/16/2008 6:36:29 PM
OP, he probably cares for you as much as he capable in the situation, but it is not love and never will be. I would never, ever be the one to always call and set up a pattern of behavior where he KNOWS you are available whenever he wants you. I'm sorry you have feelings for him, but as stated before, you both need to be divorced and do a lot of introspection about your failed relationships before either of you jump into another one. I think you are confusing lust with what you are really looking for. And I think you need to let time pass before you even consider another ltr leading to something peremanent. Good luck to you, I hope you quit calling him and you will see that you are just a convenience at this point in time. And as to the drugs, HA! been down that road, you know it as soon as you are around them for any length of time. JMO

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 92 (view)

How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head? Posted: 12/14/2008 9:54:21 AM
Mostly for big - your restrictions won't let me message you- and for everyone else who keeps letting the abusive ones back into your life. You have got to stop letting her/him back in. Some of us have done the same thing - with me it started after 30 years of no contact with an apology from him. And like all those years ago, I chased him until he caught me. We supposedly tried getting back together (make that I tried) and then he went back to the lifestyle he swore he was tired of living. I had said no more a long, long time ago, but the apology was totally out of character for him, so I "thought" I saw a changed person. His only changes are superficial - he is still a user, a sadist who gets pleasure from hurting others and that is what you are dealing with. The only way to get at least some peace and perspective is to say NO, you are not being allowed back into my life. S/he knows what she is doing to you and s/he is enjoying it, people like my ex and yours are sadistic and they have no conscience and enjoy hurting others - especially the ones that love them. I am in pain from my last experience, but it is that - the last experience with him- never, ever again! We are worth so much more than the nothingness and pain s/he has to offer. And I have no explanation at all as to why love for someone so not worth it continues for a lifetime, but it can - that doesn't mean you have to let that person keep abusing your love, you need to love yourself more than you love them and some of us will be lucky and find the one who will love us in return for who we are...I do agree that counseling is an option to help us find out why we allow ourselves to be abused.

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 89 (view)

How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head? Posted: 12/13/2008 6:06:41 PM
Ah, yes, the battle of mind over heart - when your head KNOWS your heart is crazy, stupid, insane for caring for that someone who keeps breaking your heart. But as to the obsessive thoughts, gawd, wish I had an answer. I've tried just about everything from Native American sage cleansing, to prayer to the saint who is said to have cast the devil into Hell to, well, you name it, I've tried it. Unfortunately, this was my first love and will be my last I fear. Do try to keep busy with lots of conversation with others, I find that is the only time he is not prancing around in my head and heart. But he's been there for more than forty years, just not as bad as now since I was with him for a while again. As to the judgmental one who claims we who are flawed should not be on here, my goodness, to be so perfect, WOW, I'm impressed - Not!

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

the nice guy. Posted: 12/10/2008 6:02:41 PM
Oh yeah, just what every nice guy (or woman) wants- a married person who is willing to fall in love while still married - uh, the term adultery comes to mind as well as a few others that don't fit into the category of characteristics "nice" people want in a so...but there are lots of hobbies/organizations/singles groups where you can meet other people who are Not married and looking

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 175 (view)

Anyone got back with their EX before?? Posted: 12/5/2008 6:59:06 PM
Been there rather recently - the first time should have been the last time, but my feelings overruled my head and boy am I paying the price - just like the first time. It had been many, many years and he had changed in some ways, but the other ways he changed were that he became a far worse creature than even I would have imagined. Unfortunately, I did not learn the facts until I was already drawn back into the web...stupid, stupid stupid! If you feel you were at fault, you need to look at the things you could not tolerate and ask if you can tolerate them now, because people change in small ways, but they stay the same in most ways because their character and personality are developed early in life. My advice, don't try it!

idahosun

Joined: 4/26/2006

Msg: 1009 (view)

Women who smoke are far more promiscuous. Posted: 12/4/2008 6:07:24 PM
OMG, the things people dream up to write about on here - and I do mean dream up. When I was a smoker I was not promiscuous and now that I've stopped...well, hmmmm, maybe I should start again and become a legend of promiscuity in my own mind - good grief people, get real

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