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 Author Thread: I have 2kids by 2 men.but listen 2 mystory and tell me if I still look bad
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
I have 2kids by 2 men.but listen 2 mystory and tell me if I still look bad
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:06:12 PM
I think your being over critical of yourself. My first wife had 2 kids from different ex husbands. Those that will criticize you for having 2 children by two different dads aren’t worth listening too. I personally see a bigger problem in a woman that has no ex’s, never wanted children, and has gone through her entire life without trying to live it. To me, that is a bigger red flag. Any man that can’t understand you have had two children, is too immature for you anyway, and doesn’t deserve you. Life is really short, and you have tried to live it and made two marks along the way that will out live you into the future. Children do that for us, it is almost like giving parents an immortal legacy. Whatever amount of time any of us have left, is best spent living the rest of it with someone you love, and not chastising someone for a life you lived before them. Don’t beat up on yourself.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What's up with this...
Posted: 7/18/2008 6:39:00 AM
I think some women are attracted to that type of thing. I hope I’m about to give a good analogy. Some women purposely seek out men that are in positions of power, such as Politicians or Policemen. While others will seek out men of fame, such as movie stars, firemen or your local hero. Then again, there are women that seek out the rebel, the bad boy type. The list is endless. There are women that find attraction in a guy that is popular with the women. Visit a bar and watch. I think a way of understanding this, is that some women are groupies, not all, just some. In fact I think the percentage is quite low, but they do seem to find each other.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why change in friend's behavior?
Posted: 7/16/2008 8:00:59 PM
He may be fighting fire with fire. I'm willing to bet that his new girl friend has guy friends that she does the same thing with, or are ex lovers of hers. He is probably having a problem with how she acts around them. Have you been with him and his new g/f yet. If you have the chance of being with him, his g/f and his g/f friends, it may explain a lot.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Married but Separated?
Posted: 7/9/2008 9:03:57 AM
To answer your question; Yes, I would date a woman that was separated with your specific type of situation. I have put on my running shoes though when it turns out that they are still living together or like one example; They lived across the street from one another in a mobile home park. If the situation is too weird, no thanks! I’ll pass.

Not sure how your laws are in your State. In California there is Court facilitators that will help you with the filing if you represent your self as in “In pro per” is what it is called. As far as the custody and child support issues. There are facilitators or counselors for that also in the family Court. The only fees are the small court filing fees and the process serving to your ex. If you have no arguments over a home or property, and there can be a mutual agreement on child visitation and custody. Your divorce would be a slam dunk! Child support is set by State guide lines depending on what both you and him make. It should be similar where you are.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
do men wait for women to take the lead?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:50:20 AM
Here is where I have to say that sometimes I wait for the cue as you put it. While other times I will try and lead the relationship where I want it to go. You have to be flexible. Each woman and each relationship is different. If your always waiting for the vibe from the other as to what they want, it may never happen. There is a vast number of reasons that a person may not indicate they want you. I still follow the philosophy of; You will never get anything you want in life unless you go after it, or if fate takes over! Personally, I feel the strongest bond is when a woman gives you those cues you mentioned. I have had too many woman just go along with an exclusive relationship because it seemed like a good idea at the time. At this point in my life, I’m relying mostly on fate.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
condoms
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:26:52 AM
Patarey-msg 9, I have to say that a woman that knows how to interact during sex with use of a condom does make the experience much more enjoyable. I will add that while use of a condom will help prevent most STD’s, it is not full proof. Unfortunately, the STD’s that are not curable are the one’s that can still be contracted even though a condom was used. I think the term Safe Sex is a contradiction in terms. Prior testing, condoms, and monogamy or exclusiveness are all necessary in an attempt to reduce your chances of getting something.

Is it possible they are being manipulative or is this a real problem many men face? How would you remedy this? different brand? size?
I feel manipulation is a small part of it. It is most likely sensitivity, and the ability of the two people to not allow the use of a condom to interfere with the moment, but make it part of the experience. When I read what Patarey had said about using her mouth to place a condom on. Wow, reminds me of some past relationships when the woman was so good at it, I didn’t even know I had a condom on. I’m not kidding. Don’t leave all the responsibility of the condom up to the man. It takes two to tango, and one has to lead the dance.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Am I missing something here?
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:09:08 AM
OP-First, it’s not just bad luck. You have the necessary equipment to land any guy you want. However, I admire that you want it to be something meaningful that is right for you. Some men and women need human contact more than others. You may just be one of those that until the right guy comes along, your content with how things are. I would hope that just because your still a virgin, that you don’t run out and experiment with the first guy that comes along. Your first time should always be special, because everyone will remember their first time for the rest of their life.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What Is His Deal?
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:22:53 AM
OP-Don’t take offense. You’re a booty call plain and simple. He is damaged goods. He was hurt by someone that tore up his heart. He may never be able to love again. The real question is; What do you want in your future, boy friend, husband? That’s what is really important.
Can men really have sex with women repeatedly for two years and not feel anything?
Answer, yes. So can women. If there is a wall around your heart, you will never be open for love until the wall comes down. You need to ask yourself if 2 years has been a long enough time to knock a few bricks down off that wall, or if you want to even continue trying. I will say this. It’s going to be impossible for you to find what you want with someone else, unless you end everything with him.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
When She Stands You Up...
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:05:18 AM
Depends what degree of being stood up you mean. If it’s just a cancellation, no problem. Even if the cancellation means never seeing this person again, I take it as it wasn’t meant to be. I would rather be canceled on than try and make something work that has no chance, because they met someone else. That would be just a waste of time. I can respect someone changing their mind or finding someone else. Having a date or a male friend make plans with you and then never show or call. Their out of my life. I don’t hang with inconsiderate people like that. When they finally call days later or something trying to explain. I say wtf, have a nice life. As far as how it makes me feel inside. Cancellations are just a disappointment. Being actually stood up pisses me off, we are so done here!
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
A quick question.....
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:06:27 PM
I was laughing so hard I forgot to answer your post. I don’t think that once you open an email, you can make it look like it was never opened on POF. You also can’t delete any forum POST either.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
A quick question.....
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:01:56 PM
Rent the movie Fatal Attraction It will calm you down. I just can't imagin what he is going to think after coming back from a jog. Finding a disturbing email and a forum post about this. Now I know why I frequent the forums instead of TV. There is a lot more amusement.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 120 (view)
 
Add One And Keep Going - This Ought To Be Fun
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:22:49 AM
Night Gallery
D!ck Van Dyke Show
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Do you think she is out of your league?
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:17:08 AM
To answer your new slant on this by removing the word “league”. Sometimes it’s just a bad time for me to be considering dating anyone. Then again, it all comes back to something that makes me shy away from even contacting her in the first place. Weather or not you call it league or deal breaker. It’s something that turns me away, at least at first. To me some women come across as unapproachable, or too high maintenance! So I just pass.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Do you think she is out of your league?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:39:27 AM
Yes. Let me explain. Internet is much different than in real life. There are no signals to pick up on. Here is just one example. I may find a woman that I would want to contact, but I don’t because she doesn’t smoke. I feel that most non smokers don’t like someone that smokes, so I pass her by. Another intimidating thing is this favorites thing. Some of you women are on hundreds of guys favorites list. That’s just a little too much competition for my liking. I have a vast number of reasons that I pass on even emailing a woman. I have found better luck when she contacts me first. There is a lot out there to give discouragement in even making contact. Some women just are not serious about finding someone through the net, and it is a waste of time anyway. I don’t take the internet thing too serious. If I find someone or she finds me, great!
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Meeting someone in person for the 1st time......
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:40:20 PM
Holy crap! It’s only been two days! Give the guy some time. I find it funny that men and women will never understand each other. We think differently, and have a different understanding on things. He may just want to give you some time. It’s a guy thing. After a good date like that, a guy has to give a girl some space. It makes you think about us and the great time we had. The last thing I would want to do is pester you after a good time. I would give you a couple of days. Besides, you did say you were going to still date others. The next date has a better chance of going well because you have missed each other.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Why do guys drop off the face of the earth?
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:26:34 PM
I have to agree with the others, it’s just rude. However it isn’t gender specific. Some people it is just their way. You can make all the excuses in world to justify it for them, but it is still inconsiderate. I was recently contacted by an ex girl friend that fell off the radar. Back then she ignored my phone calls blah blah blah. This recent email gave me her explanation. She said that because of a civil litigation she was just too busy. What ever. I gave her email the same treatment, I ignored it. I too wish I knew what the red flags are that will expose if a person is like this. At least then I could avoid them. I have experienced this a number of times myself, and I no longer seek any closure I just move on.
 hiheelsareok
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
When you see a woman you like, what do you do?
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:51:51 PM
I beat my fist against my chest like a gorilla, then let out a scream like Tarzan. This usually gets their attention. I have only had the Police called on me twice. I am still single, I’m thinking about changing my tactic.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Complicated friend issues
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:38:17 PM
I always put the blindfold on, jump in with both feet and if I hit rock in the pond…….,well I always seem to survive it. But that leap and fall was always something to remember! If your afraid to ever jump in, you will never get wet!
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What should I have done? Spontaneous encounter.
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:54:54 PM
When I think a woman is flirting like that I ask her if she is flirting or just being nice. If she has the courage to say she was flirting, I ask her out. You could do the same. If she says “No, just being nice.” I say “Dam, wishful thinking”
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Getting Beaten Up in Bars
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:20:29 PM
Crayonzz msg 56
The way Bars keep under aged persons from entering is done different depending on location, and Country. In California U.S.A. there is the Alcohol Beverage Control, (ABC). They actually send under cover agents that are under age to attempt to enter various bars. This is to catch those Bars that are lax on enforcing under aged drinking. They also have their inspectors. The fines are quite high and Clubs risk loosing their liquor licenses. The ABC does recruit 18,19 and 20 year olds from various sources for this under cover work. Legal age of drinking is 21 here. Usually it is from Colleges and what is called Police Explorer Academies. I think the fear of a Bar loosing it’s ability to conduct business, is better than some stupid sign!
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Main Profile Photos
Posted: 6/14/2008 4:45:01 PM
I have seen clearer pictures of big foot and UFO’s than some of the stuff on POF. So OP, ya WTF? I bet you won't get any replys from people with bad photos on this thread!
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
What do you think of dating mature women that have never married and have no kids-turn on or turn off?
Posted: 6/14/2008 4:37:00 PM
It wouldn’t make a difference to me as far as dating, but would make me wonder if she is truly going to go long term at some point. I think this is better understood by what I’m looking for. I personally want to find my life partner. I know what your really asking, is this a red flag? Well if she has commitment problems, yes. If she just never wanted to have children, or a marriage, or decided to pursue a career instead. It wouldn’t bother me.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Help me understand
Posted: 6/13/2008 11:45:45 PM
10 years of History there. I saw something like this in my brother. Any chance he has depression or is diabetic. He almost sounds suicidal. He is pushing you away and says he wants you to find someone else. He may still love you and because of that doesn’t want to hurt you with another infidelity he did. I think that’s a stretch though. When you said he was no longer interested in anything like he use to. Were you referring in you, or other things as well? As far as the key. I like what the other poster said, mail it back or throw it away. He either changed the locks, trusts you, or is in the dumps about something and doesn’t care about anything. It is a head game of his, but it might be a medical thing like depression.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Getting Beaten Up in Bars
Posted: 6/13/2008 2:02:03 PM
I have been a bouncer and to this day still have friends that are doormen or bouncers. From my experience in San Diego and Los Angeles clubs, I never met a bouncer that always went looking for a fight. At certain clubs there are dress codes. Usually when people are dressed nice, it is unlikely they will get into a brawl. Not to mention that some clubs wish to maintain a certain standard. As far as instructions from management as to who to throw out; it is anyone causing trouble or not following the rules. Alcohol gives those few A$$holes liquid courage to even take on a guy my size. Some after intoxicated feel they can take their drinks outside, or do that grinding dance to a female that doesn’t want it. Have I kicked the crap out of some clubbers? Hell ya and they deserved the beating they got! When they are told to leave and not come back and choose to escalate the situation, I’m no longer nice about it. Give bouncers a break. We deal with drunks that feel urinating in public is acceptable because the bathroom is full. I was never once told by upper management to screen out men or to keep a certain ratio of men to women entering the club. In fact men drink more and spend more on drinks. They are usually the ones buying the drinks for women. I never heard of denying entry to someone ugly either. After a few drinks, everyone is good looking.

Guys have said that they were NOT simply told that they couldn't come in -- they were clobbered. And simply because the bouncers COULD.
The only time that I have done this is when someone is denied entry and then tried to enter through a back door or through me. Some people you just can’t get the message across without a beating. To defend my actions. This guy was already drunk and had vomit on his shirt. He wasn’t dress nice and had an attitude. After being stopped by me at the front door, he tried the back door. The bouncer there stopped him also. He then tried to crawl in through a bathroom window of the girls room. After pulling him out of the window frame, he then wanted to fight, so that’s what he got. Needless to say after giving this little sh!t a beating he didn’t come back. Problem solved.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
So confused has anyone ever had this?
Posted: 6/13/2008 10:22:18 AM
Bullielover62 msg-? The OP is 45 years old and he thinks he's in love. That’s what he stated in his Post. I'm willing to give him the credit that is how he feels. He is all grown up! Who are we to judge weather this is true love or not with the limited knowledge of his relationship and feelings. You say;
Because after such a short time, honey, that's not love. Not in love.... Two months.... c'mon hon.... you don't know shit about this women yet.... what you know is what you're feeling!!! Take that and explain that.... and keep LOVE out of the equation until such time as it's real.
Ok then, please explain to me the time limit of how long it takes to fall in love. How many days or months does it take? This way every will know what amount of time it takes and they can follow it. What discoveries must be found bullielover? What criteria must be met? How much time must pass? Please tell the World!

I will admit that I didn’t truly understand love until my children were born. I found that even though my kids would draw on the walls or do other things to make you angry, you never stop having that feeling for them. You want to be with them and part of their life. You want to protect them, and provide for them. You would even put your own life at risk to protect them. Love is a feeling. And when you have those feelings in a romantic way for someone, to me that is love. Besides, the OP wasn’t looking for criticism on his feelings, he was asking advice as what to do about how he feels. Follow what ever advice you want OP. Consider this. If she happens to tell you that she loves you first, that sealed envelope will erase any doubt in her mind that your return love is genuine.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
So confused has anyone ever had this?
Posted: 6/13/2008 6:57:52 AM
Dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t! If you use the L word now she could run. If you don’t fully express your feelings, that L word may never be returned back to you from her. Play it safe and go slow like she wants it for now. Keep the relationship heading in that direction. One thing I did in the past is write everything down in a letter and mail it back to yourself with the post mark. Explain in this letter how you feel and why the delay in telling her. As your relationship progresses and the two of you are talking about a permanent future with one another, or are discussing about falling in love with each other, when the moment is appropriate tell her. Then you can always hand her this sealed envelope expressing everything in writing about how you have felt all along. This letter will add a lot of sincerity to when you do start using the L word to each other in the future. Good luck!
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Hot then cold...is this normal?
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:32:43 PM
This is perfectly normal behavior. Men do not ever cheat on their girl friends or wives. He has a dual personality, and when it takes over he doesn’t know you. Until the personality that you know as him takes back over, you won’t see him. He will ignore you and can’t be found. Happy now? This is a solid explanation. He picked you because he knew you would put up with this sh!t. Look at yourself, you have been putting up with it. You will talk to him about it, and everything will be just fine for a while. Then his other personality takes over again. This is the evil personality. This will go on for some time until your such a wreck you finally end it. Then your so untrusting and screwed up from this guy, the next guy that comes into your life doesn’t even have a chance with you. And that guy will have only one personality. Believe what you want. I can’t fathom that you were actually asking if this was normal. Good luck with it!
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Trust???
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:15:51 PM
I have forgotten who it was that said; He that cheats on their significant other must either remain a liar about it for all time. Or admit their infidelity and spend the rest of their time asking for forgiveness, in an attempt to mend a broken trust.

If someone out there happens know whom it is I just quoted, let me know. I can't remember.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
the blues
Posted: 6/12/2008 4:55:56 PM
Spending money like it's going out of style always works for me. You get a lot of exercise that way too, going up and down those isles. Then don't forget old faithful! Chocolate! When I was married, sex always seemed to bring me out of it also. Dam! I feel really depressed right now. Anyone have a chocolate bar?
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
~Laughing At The Movies
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:08:46 AM
At least the movie was funny. I think the word uptight describes your date. I sure wish you named the movie, I haven’t seen a good funny one in a long time.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
sex with the devil
Posted: 6/11/2008 9:02:18 AM
That wasn’t the Devil you slept with. Sometimes a woman likes it nasty! It helps them release during sex. You see this a lot in the prim and proper type girls a lot more often. Once in the bedroom, a woman sometimes likes to be treated like a whore and called a b!tch. There daily life is usually reserved, and when in the bedroom they release and let go. You passed on a good thing. Woman like that store up a lot of passion that is only released during sex.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Do you confirm your dates identity?
Posted: 6/11/2008 8:26:05 AM
I so have to comment on this. I use to be a PI. Background checks is what I did for attorneys. Information contained in the various data bases is flawed! There is missing information and also data that doesn’t belong there. Even NCIC used by law enforcement is filled with inaccurate information. For anyone that really cares, conducting your own background is actually more efficient and accurate than if you were to pay most PI‘s to do it for you. Relying on an online database search only is ridicules! Some U.S. States still don’t keep records by computer, and still use the filing method. Here is how to do your own background check.

Do an online check to what is there. Use only as a guide line, and do not trust any information there.
Do a credit header check. This will give you some locations for the past 7 to 10 years of this person.
From the check use the first 3 numbers of their SSN# to see which U.S. State issued it. This will also give you an idea what State this person has lived in, in the past. There is a look up table to determine what State issued the SSN#.

Now, this is where the term gumshoe comes in. Go to the local Courts from the various locations this person has resided in, and run a check at the actual Court and look at any of the files that come up. This part is actualy free! Believe it or not the clerks are also very helpful in this. This is the only accurate way of checking into the background of someone. I have scene so many Attorney’s make a complete A$$ out of themselves in Court by relying on information solely from the internet.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
from hugging to kissing
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:19:27 AM
Laughinglibra and wolftx have some good ideas. I think out right asking to kiss kind of takes some of the romance out of it though. Next time you hug, don’t let go. Look up into his eyes and start moving in closer towards his mouth. Nature takes it’s own course after that.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What are good signs following sex?
Posted: 6/10/2008 12:53:43 PM
First thing that comes to mind is a second date, oops! I mean another date. When I dated my ex wife the next day I sent roses to her work. Seems old fashion maybe, but if you new the circumstances you would agree that it was appropriate. I personally want her to think about me and know I’m interested. Some guys follow the what is it, 72 hour rule? The last thing I want a woman to think is that it was a one night stand. At the very least a phone call.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
creating sexual chemistry
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:36:19 AM
I totally disagree about sexual chemistry being there or not from the beginning. For me, it just hasn’t been discovered yet until the kissing starts. Or what you thought was some sexual chemistry is totally lost after that first kiss or sexual encounter. Chemistry is something that is discovered between two people, not made. As far as the aphrodisiac method of getting a woman into the mood with you. Boulder dash! About the only thing that comes close to a fake aphrodisiac is alcohol intoxication. My opinion is that true chemistry can only be found between two people when it really exists! Any feelings between two people that think there is chemistry between them before any sexual contact are mistaking that for lust.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
WELL i met someone on here!!!
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:14:02 AM
OP-I agree that your post makes little sense. Maybe your entire problem, what ever it is has do with, is proper and understandable communication. If your communication skills are anything like this post you made, it needs serious work.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Does he want me?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:40:10 PM
If he hasn’t even asked for your phone number after a month of emails, something is wrong. My crystal ball has a dead battery right now, but my guess is; He is married, involved right now, using someone else’s photographs, or is just slow. Take your pick! What is really important is what you want. You say you want to meet him. So, is there something wrong with all the emailing back and forth that you can’t tell him that? Ask him to meet up.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
He contacts you again......
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:14:38 PM
What! You mean you don’t see it? It’s right there in front of you. What he did to you, was done to him. Now he is a little lost, thinking about the greener pasture he left you for, and found out it wasn’t so greener after all. So he is reflecting. I should have kept her, meaning you. I recommend letting him keep reflecting. He will leave you again as soon as there is another greener pasture.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Buying him a drink?
Posted: 6/6/2008 5:54:12 PM

Do you guys feel that it is too aggressive for a woman to buy you a drink to break the ice? Does it send him the wrong message?


Hmmmm, Do you think when a guy buys you a drink it sends the wrong message? Is there some type of double standard because you’re a woman? Granted there are those that feel buying a women a drink is some sort of an investment and expect getting a return, but not always. It’s usually just a jester. In fact when ever I had sent a drink to a woman, she usually bought the next round. Woman’s lib, 21st Century and all that. Think about it.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Do you pursue?
Posted: 6/6/2008 4:17:53 PM
Men, do you know what it is to pursue a woman? Or are women so busy desperately chasing you, that you no longer feel the need?

Women are constantly chasing us guys, we have to beat them back with sticks! In fact they are always ringing our doorbells at the most inconvenient times, no wait! That’s those damm missionaries this time. Seriously though, the next day I’m either tired or hung over. As far as pursuing a woman as in romance. Yes. If your referring to being an annoying pest and trying to occupy her every moment, No. I don’t think men have to chase women once you have been dating. If you like each other, both of you are trying to be with the other.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is this love? Can't believe it
Posted: 6/6/2008 6:41:48 AM
Nice to see there is a lot of positive advice on this one! OP sounds like you have a fear of being hurt emotionally. Granted, you have been hurt in the past, but who hasn’t. Look at yourself 20 years from now. Your sitting in an easy chair looking back on your life and the relationships you have had with men.
That one was commitment phobic.
That one was a creep.
That one disappeared.
That one hurt me.
That one I was afraid of getting hurt, 10 year age gap, so I passed on it. Boy that was stupid of me.
Pain will heal! Girls dig scars! Glory and Love last forever!
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
does this turn you on?
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:33:03 AM
Complicated answer OP. Yes and No at least for me. Let me explain briefly. When I was about 22 I had a FWB thing with two lesbians. At first it was that satisfied fantasy, but shortly turned into me realizing I was just a sex toy for the two of them to play with. There was something far more special between the two of them.
Women interact differently with other women anyway as compared to how men interact with other men. I think all heterosexual men would agree that if it was two men grinding away on the dance floor, they would be repulsed and couldn’t even stomach watching it. Viewing two women being physically close in a provocative way arouses most men. I think it is some type of biological engineering of men. I don’t think that this would be the type of woman to introduce to your mother, but it is still sexually arousing.
Look at the differences on how women greet other women, and men greet other men. Women will hug and even kiss each other on the cheek. Men shank hands or gently punch each other in the shoulder to say hi. We are very different in our interactions with the same sex. So my answer is; arousing yes, but I would not want to date either one of them. Been there done that.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Car Question
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:48:15 PM
I do this for a living. I’m an ASE Certified Tech. There is no way to diagnose you car problem from a symptom. However, from the symptom you described and type of vehicle it sounds like an intermittent problem with the fuel pump, throttle positioning sensor (TPS), or it could even be low on transmission fluid. If there are no trouble codes or check engine light on, this is going to be a tuff trouble shoot. It may take a couple of return visits to the mechanic until they can duplicate the problem during a test drive, with test equipment connected. This doesn’t sound tune up related at all, save your money on that.. If you have a habit of always having your fuel tank low on gas,(below ¼ fuel)this over heats the fuel pump and will cause intermittent failures, resulting in this symptom. You didn’t say if you intended on taking it to the dealer or private shop. If your taking it to a private shop, request that an ASE Certified tech diagnose your vehicle. If he is Master Certified, even better. Good luck with it.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Best friend possibly jealous?
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:18:28 AM
I think the reasons for these episodes you have with your friend are not what you think, it is an ego competition between you whether you realize it or not. Look and the egos of men and women. They are very much different. A woman’s ego is usually about her beauty and ability to attract men. A mans ego is about the conquest and achievement in life. Men at that young age are bragging about everything from penis size, to the number of women they have slept with. Your friend is a virgin. You have Mark in your life. You are desired by Mark, and any reference to it is a reminder of that to your friend. Him verbalizing complements about other women is his attempt on diminishing your success with Mark. Your friends feeling inadequate about his lack of previous lovers and conquests. He is jealous, but not of Mark in your life. He is jealous of your success with Mark as a potential mate. You can put this to the test. Next time feed his ego when he mentions other women. Say something along the lines of; “I bet you could make her really happy.” His comments about other women will diminish after he has some type of recognition in this area from you. Sorry about the pyco babble.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
is he the one?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:29:30 PM
Just from some of the differences you listed, it doesn't sound that he is in the 99% of the perfect mate for you.
how come some people are short and some are tall. He just couldn't get that people are different. (and no, he wasn't kidding!)

If someone said that to me, I would have trouble getting past it. Are you kidding! Is 100% really a must? I mean if you have to ask this stuff in a forum you have doubts. Thats more than 1%.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Did I ask him out?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:59:01 AM
I had to add one more thing OP. He may be hesitant also because you work together. Try this, it will work and also save face. During your tennis game let him get 2 points ahead of you 30 love if I remember right on scoring. Signal to meet him at the net. Ask him straight out, “So are you ever going to ask me out.” Then go back to play. If he asks you out, mission accomplished. I can hear the theme song to mission impossible playing as write this. If he starts to ask what that was all about, say nothing and continue play. Give him enough time and opportunity to actually ask you out. This will force him to either ask you out or tell you he’s not interested. You can always say it was to throw off his game so you could win. Clever huh? Good luck!
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Did I ask him out?
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:08:20 AM
He’s probably wondering the same thing. Careful, you might enter the friend zone. If you like him make your intensions and feelings known. Him being shy is tuff. So is if he is naive. The tennis comment probably got his hopes up. Hint, that noise he made. If he doesn’t actually ask you out, it’s not a date, as in I like you type date, as in I want to kiss you type date. Realize he may not be reading your signals right. It happen to me once and I was oblivious to her signals. She basically said, “are you going to ask me out or not?” and then started to walk away. She didn’t get very far before I asked her. Sometimes us guys are just stupid on wheather a woman likes us or not.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
So, hes rich, funny and handsome....why is he on here??
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:31:37 PM
I got to jump in here again. Msg 20 wasn't enough! I smell more BS. Look, I use to rub elbows with ritch people. They don't discuss their money or assets, not even to impress women. They don't have too. There are only a few exceptions. Those that got their money through Lottery winnings, Inheritance, or they stole it. Snakewhisperer you have a nice python, but your gulible!
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
made mistake of lifetime
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:57:16 PM
Sorry about the pain you must feel. You lost a wife, best friend turned traitor, and what you think may have been your soul mate. As far as meeting with her and telling her your feelings, your not a fool. You have some closer. If you didn’t try, it would have haunted you for the rest of your life. At least with time, you will heal.
 hiheelsareOk
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Getting the number
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:20:18 PM
I don’t quite get what the hang up is over the phone number, and yes the pun was intended. Here is the answer to your question OP. If men rely on giving you their number and waiting for you to call them. When you do call, we strike up a conversation and then have to think up something at the last minute as what to do for the date. Besides, most men like the pursuit. It is that basic instinct that dates back to the caveman. We hunt. We provide. We go out and get what we want. And when it is you that we want, we will call you and ask you out. After some time, if things work out while we are dating each other. We make you ours, we have you, we take you. Ugg ugg! Was the caveman in me showing up in that last sentence there. The best thing a woman can do for their man is to let him be the caveman once in a while. It makes us feel like men. So if you like the guy and want to date him, give up your number.
 
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