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Thread: Is it reasonable to expect that a man and woman in a relationship ought to have the same sex drive?

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Is it reasonable to expect that a man and woman in a relationship ought to have the same sex drive? Posted: 10/13/2008 12:02:24 AM
since sex drives can vary due to outside forces(stress,children,honeymoon stage ending,eating of wedding cake i'm told..lol etc) what you start out a relationship with will rarely stay. however,both partners should be open enough to communicate

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

She's/He's been on PoF for 2 years..! It that a red-herring? Run or Stay? Posted: 10/5/2008 7:20:16 PM
well,i've ben on awhile myself,but i didn't spend the entire 2+ years active on here. use it more for the forums .

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 74 (view)

Foreplay Posted: 9/27/2008 11:59:34 PM
yes,but you have to speak up and let it be known

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Slobby look is attractive? Posted: 9/9/2008 7:47:57 PM
hmm,that is interesting,have to pay less attention when i am about to run out...lol. makes sense i guess,guys want a real woman,not the club chick every night and you looked more approachable

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

What do you NOT like about sex? Posted: 9/9/2008 4:58:24 PM
not into anal,no matter how many times you tell me it won't hurt,you'll be gentle,you'll make it fabulous,no!!! nothing involving body waste,feet or other people.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

Okay girls...need input.... Posted: 9/4/2008 5:45:50 AM
it is a pain when you hit the peak and 'no ones around' as i say. toys do not cut it,and steady relationships i've had the guy had a much lower libido then me. tried fwb but the schedules,life,etc meant i was never getting it anyway,sigh. i think i need one next door..lol

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 405 (view)

The Kinky Test Posted: 9/3/2008 11:05:44 PM
481 ,guess i lean to the vanilla although it said definitewly a kinky player

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

Why do men only get visitation??? Posted: 9/3/2008 12:56:39 PM
when i went to court i asked for him to have exactly the same visitation as he had been content with for a year. i asked for sole custody,offered to settle out of court for joint custody with me having primary care and $200 a month instead of the $300+ the tables came up with for cs. he couldn't be bothered to answer the court papers and barely showed up for court and was surprised he had a order of default against him. still doesn't take his scheduled time of 27 hours every other week ,too many dates,cancelled his after christmas visit with her for a trip to a out of state casino with a lady friend. i'm tired of trying to make him do what he should want to do,never denied him a visit even if it was my weekend(which he did once to make up for not having her for a month)i feel for the men who have exes who keep their children away,i wish my daughter had a dad who put her before anything.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 67 (view)

mythbuster needed... Posted: 9/3/2008 12:15:13 PM
your meeting the wrong women who are not openminded to other races is my guess. or shes been burned so many times she subconsciously ends up with the same type of toxic guys and cannot handle a real guy. the stereotype thing is played out,i think most of us know the theory of the huge black member is not true. i primarily date black men,just what i'm attracted more to and i am hit on by more black men and i have found the full spectrum from nerds to thugs.just have to keep trying and hoping you meet the one,just like anyone from any race,culture,etc.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 332 (view)

worse thing anybody said to you before they broke your heart. Posted: 8/30/2008 11:29:47 PM
'i want to be with you,only you,marry me,have my child',and we can guess how it ends. the other one was the first time my last bf told me i didn't realize how much he loved me and couldn't imagine living without me. walked out the door and never heard from him again,he avoided phone calls and emails and after a week i gave up

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

how do you tell if a guy is married? Posted: 8/30/2008 11:25:14 PM
he sounds at least like hes dating others. just be careful and try to find out. lots of websites out there to find data on for free or small fees,some even list known associates,such as family and roommates.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies? Posted: 8/30/2008 10:59:17 PM
you know,this is more common then i thought,even as a female. one of my friends was telling me he keeps meeting women who claim they are single,no f buddies,but they admit to sex 2-4 times a month. they have 'friends who help them out'. new way of putting it,but both ladies swear they do not have fbuddies.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

What is with the line You deserve better than me Posted: 8/27/2008 12:11:24 PM
had that line used on me twice,in both instances i am much better with them! i'd just prefer honesty,ie,we will not work out for such a reason,i do not feel the same thing,something that doesn't make you sit there and think 'ok,what did i do that wasn't enough?'. either way,neither one who used it are 'nice' in my eyes,more along the lines of cowardly.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Only child... guilt? Posted: 8/11/2008 12:35:15 AM
sometimes. i would like another child,but my lil girl is almost 8,i'm 31 and just haven't met anyone i could see myself having a child with.i've also heard the comment that i'd be 'starting over' my childrearing years . i did get lucky in that my lil one has a cousin the same age and my best friends children are 8-11 and are like cousins. she doesn;t want any siblings after hanging out with her friends with little sisters/brothers...lol.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

How would sudden wealth change your dating style. Posted: 8/10/2008 1:20:04 PM
hmm,its a nice fantasy but i never thought about how my dating would change. now marriage to someone after becoming obscenely rich,that could be a hard one. i can imagine worrying if they loved you or your bank/investment accounts would be the main problem

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 184 (view)

the sleep issue Posted: 8/7/2008 11:30:48 PM
i sleep better alone since i toss and turn and always worried about keeping someone awake. love to cuddle,i just can't do it when i'm trying to go to sleep

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Would You Even Know? Posted: 8/6/2008 7:46:13 AM
i used to say i hope he shows up gift wrapped so i'd know. i'd like to think i'm more mature now and would notice and realize which one was the real one. i have met very few guys i could see myself growing old with

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Anyone here wanting schoold to start TOMORROW!!! Posted: 8/5/2008 11:49:35 AM
no,shes not driving me crazy right now..lol,last month was a different story. her dad gets her for 8 days starting sat,then we have a week before school starts when she gets home.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Dating a deaf person... Posted: 8/5/2008 11:35:55 AM
wishing you luck! its hard for everyone out here ,especially with anything that sets you aside from the so called norm

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

What happens when you can no longer have children? Posted: 8/5/2008 1:40:36 AM
good advice given,hoe you find someone who works out for you! i'm considering tying my tubes at 35 myself. it does seem like most guys i talk with either do not want them or are done because of choosing the wrong partners and wary.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 213 (view)

Monogomy is it important anymore? Posted: 8/5/2008 1:24:23 AM
it is to me as well. i want a connection with someone and steady sex,not different guys,risks etc.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

is she cheating? Posted: 8/4/2008 10:16:46 AM
it depends,i can understand the whole trust thing. i have male friends who come by soemtimes and hang out,watch a movie. however if i was in a relationship i probably wouldn't be hanging out at 2am etc with them. i'm a firm believer in not doing what i wouldn't want someone else doing,and knowing my man was hanging out with a female friend late at night,snuggling etc wouldn't be cool in my book

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Good way to Propose? Posted: 8/3/2008 4:37:42 PM
congrats! love all the romance and thought that went into it

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 179 (view)

Saw My Wedding ring On My X Husbands New Girlfriend! Posted: 8/2/2008 2:14:46 AM
classic. i left my engagement ring with my ex when i moved,and made a point of reminding him. he told he he was saving it for the next girl,even when i told him it was in poor taste,he still claimed it would be fine. i like the advice its her problem now,be glad its no longer yours!

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

Dating 3 girls....yikes Posted: 8/1/2008 4:04:11 PM
yikes is right,i never was coordinated enough for juggling. your 22,i hope the ex tells you something that allows you to be free. you seem to be hanging on to her for the hope,memories,and the future what ifs . the other girls are more like buddies then dating. as long as they know it,are cool with being a hang out buddy with no hope of relationship or future,then your ok. hope they have several other hangout buddies as well.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Who uses Intermitten Reinforcement in dating and online dating? Posted: 8/1/2008 3:55:27 PM
hmm,i recognize this game and now have another name for it besides hot and cold. love the mitten comment..lol.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Not sure how to deal with this?? Posted: 8/1/2008 9:14:31 AM
this happened when my daughter was 2 in walmart,her father and i were still together and she knew her daddy. poor kid was so surprised when she got close and realized she burst into tears. so i wouldn't worry too much,make sure he has pics and do the best you can since the ex doesn't seem to want to do more.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

How bad is it to show up at the door unannounced? Posted: 7/31/2008 12:23:42 AM
yeah,i prefer a call first. pretty much the only people who can just drop in are my dad or my best friend,anyone else would probably get the look and a 'why didn't you call first?'.breaking this off over this,if it became a habit yeah,but sounds like it was too soon and you didn;t like he was weirded by it.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Single male bias? Posted: 7/30/2008 9:25:46 PM
i have tried dating single dads(both custodial and non custodial) and neither worked for me but i think it was the choice of men,not their parenting that was a factor. the no custodial and i didn't work out because although when he has his son every other weekend hes great,the rest of the time he wantsto spend drinking and partying,not my style.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

How wrong is this? Posted: 7/30/2008 6:51:35 PM
yeah,i wouldn't be comfortable with that myself,thats what air mattresses or springing for a separate room are for. not much you probably can do now,but hope she picked a good guy and maybe mention it to the ex that you are not comfortable with that sort of situation(i'm amazed she is myself)

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

how to deal with loving someone that doesnt love you back Posted: 7/30/2008 3:58:49 PM
been there,you have to let go and move on for your own self respect. i spent a year hoping someone would come around,he could talk the talk,but never could back it up. its hard and you will miss them but i almost guarantee once you cut them out of your life,you will feel free

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Married for 2 Years and she wants 1 Year away to be free and Independant Posted: 7/30/2008 8:46:48 AM
can't add anymore to the good advice you've been given. just wishing you well and hope you listen to them. i agree with forumbuddy,she has no idea what she wants,just that its not you

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

Why do men say that they are interested when they don't act like it? Posted: 7/28/2008 12:02:44 PM
not a fan of those who cannot say what they mean and be honest. i actually asked one guy why he even bothered to waste my time with calling,iming,saying all the wonderful things if he was going to stand me up twice. he got upset when i told him there wouldn't be a third time since i was not into feeling like a fool. his reply was on the lines of 'you just can't appreciate my music career,and sometimes plans change'.i just laughed and told myself its good i found out early on how he was.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Girls who can only orgasm once... Posted: 7/28/2008 11:36:01 AM
everyone deserves a orgasm,not a multi myself and can understand the sensitivity. it actually hurts to keep touching after,but will try the tricks mentioned whenever i find a new partner.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 160 (view)

Strangest Compliment Posted: 7/28/2008 12:00:06 AM
this was actually told to me by 2 different guys,that i have alot of spiritual energy and light up a room

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 131 (view)

Any women willing to admit having had great sex with a married man? Posted: 7/26/2008 3:25:20 PM
i did,i didn't know he was married at the time.i was 21, we were hanging out,his friend knew mine,etc. hung out together for 5 weeks,3 weeks after we became intimate one of his friends slipped up and mentioned something in front of me. that was the end of that,i felt guilty for awhile . it was great sex,great pseudo relationship but i'm not sharing

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

My Magical Date Posted: 7/23/2008 8:49:38 AM
slow down,and see where it goes. hope it works out!

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

What non-parenting weekends are for... Posted: 7/22/2008 11:26:09 PM
sleep in,clean,watch movies,go out with friends occasionally. its nice to just relax and not have to be 'on' all the time. usually end up missing her,but shes only gone for 29 hours ever other weekend,i might go nuts when she leaves for 10 days next month(although i'm betting shes home in 4,xmas break was supposed to be a week and she was home in less then 4 days because he couldn't handle it)

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 53 (view)

Why am I jealous? Posted: 7/12/2008 12:13:42 AM
i would be upset,too. cool things off,i know you think shes great but i think its disrespectful to act like that with a ex

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 161 (view)

What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship? Posted: 7/12/2008 12:10:20 AM
i asked him to come to bed instead of chatting to his female 'friends' online,on my computer.then i explained he needed to go home before my daughter came home since it wasn't yet time for him to meet my daughter or ex,and he blew up and walked out. oh well,i moved on and from what i heard hes left 2 other girls in a similiar way.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Difficult situation- what should I do? Posted: 7/12/2008 12:02:57 AM
just be honest,like others said. tell her your flattered but sorry,no. and avoid being alone with her just in case.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Honestly ladies. Why do you fake it? And... Posted: 7/12/2008 12:00:21 AM
i faked when i was with someone who felt bad if he didn't give me several orgasms a time. so usually the 1st and 3rd would be theatrical and the 2nd and 4th real.it excited him,and he tried harder,so it didn't bother me.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 297 (view)

Caucasian Women + Indian Guys Posted: 7/11/2008 11:47:11 PM
no problems in my book,i find EI men attractive

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

Am I wrong Posted: 7/11/2008 11:36:44 PM
sounds to me like hes hiding more then just his job. oh well,you never met,chalk it up and move on

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 272 (view)

Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel? Posted: 7/11/2008 11:33:39 PM
its happened,not a good feeling. you think over what it could have been,then you move on. what i ahte is the one who drop you,then try to contact again 'like nothing ever happened' and feign hurt when you won't forgive them

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Have we become a disposable commodity? Posted: 7/11/2008 10:28:24 PM
i agree we have.just seems like there isn't alot of 'working things out'. its time to get the new model and throw out the old one if it doesn't make you happy,gets moody,gains a few pounds,looks around,etc.

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 236 (view)

Just eat me already! Posted: 7/11/2008 10:12:02 PM
wow,all i can say is if you love it,and do not get it,you will miss it! btdt,i know if a man is not in tune with me sexually he isn't the man for me. i tried it once and it was so frustrating,all my fantasies were of that.try to talk,work it out,but if its a 'no oral,we can't' then at least you tried

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 215 (view)

If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here? Posted: 7/10/2008 9:51:13 PM
i wouldn't be comfortable with it personally

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Spanking - What's the deal? Posted: 7/10/2008 9:39:37 PM
if its done right and something you work into it,it can feel good. gradual is best

sunshyne1977

Joined: 5/8/2006

Msg: 100 (view)

Do you ever get bored with dating, sex, and everything else? Posted: 7/10/2008 8:31:02 AM
For me, it's disillusionment. I would love the longterm, committed relationship with a man I can hero worship a little. Unfortunately, I'm tired of being misled and undervalued. Maybe time to take a break for a long while. Im with you on this one Nutt! Im bored with the empty meaningless situations I get myself into (Notice I said 'myself', Im not blaming anyone else). Im holding out for the real thing now....Well at least for something more than just sex! ^^^^^^exactly! as i always tell men,i want a man who says what he wants and means what he says. self imposed break for me,i just couldn't take it anymore. seems like every guy i met said the right things,then it turned into them only wanting a booty call but packaging it up pretty to get it. sex is great,wonderful,but its so much better when you have something real beyond 'friends' behind it. so i stay alone and feel lonely but its better then the constant disappointment

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