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 Author Thread: FUNNY OR SICK BUMPER STICKERS YOU HAVE SEEN
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 206 (view)
 
FUNNY OR SICK BUMPER STICKERS YOU HAVE SEEN
Posted: 9/27/2007 12:00:22 AM
"I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look"

"Smile like a Doughnut"
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Pain
Posted: 8/20/2006 9:40:43 PM
Like anything else... The line is drawn individually with each person and can vary quite widely. It also varies with giving and recieving. The level of pain I like to recieve is very different than the level of pain I am comfortible giving. Make sense?

Each person is different and each situation is different as well. The key is open communication with your partner. It's better to find out the limits durring a conversation, than to make a mistake assuming you know the limits in the bedroom.

Johnny Chopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Favorite Shirts with Words
Posted: 8/15/2006 11:44:57 PM
Trouble Finds Me

Unwrap Me

One by one the girls steal my underware at night

I pimp your Mom/Dad/Grandmother/Grandfather

Smile Like a Doughnut

The money's on the dresser honey, I'm done with you

I (heart) Hot Moms

I (heart) my penis

...A few of my favorites

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 70 (view)
 
ladder piercing/ Prince Albert
Posted: 7/17/2006 2:54:02 AM
Alright, I have a prince Albert... Rather than check you on why your dong it I will strictly answer your question based on my own personal experience. Take it for what it is worth, one man's opinion and experience.

The initial piercing...
Make sure you are prepaired. To start the piercer will use a cotton swap to lube the inside of your penis with whatever his preferred lube is. Vasiline was used on me, and yes it was rather uncomfortible. This is nessecery as the tube that is inserted next is very uncomfortible. You see for a Prince Albert, you will be pierced from the outside in. Thus the need for the hollow tube. The needle is passed through the shaft of the penis and it to the tube to prevent unnessecery damage to the urethria. Once the needle is in, the jewlery itself is then insert through you new hole and out the old "natural" hole. At this point the inital pain , which can only be discribed as a quick pinch and pop, is over. Breathe deep just before the actual penitration and exhail durring. Screaming is optional.

The weeks of healing after...
Again make sure you are prepaired. The first thing you'll notice is an increassingly uncomfortible throbbing. No, not the same as your used too. You will bleed, a lot. Keep in mind how the p e n i s works, blood restrictions in the organ create an errection. Thus, again you will bleed. The uncomfortible throbbing will in most cases, negate any thoughts of sex for the first few days. The next thing you will notice as far as pain and/or discomfort is the first time you urinate after beeing pierced, you will certainly question the worth of the piercing. It's a burning sensation that can best be descriped the way Eddie Murphy explained VD in his stand up routine RAW. "When I pee, fire shot out my d i c k. I gots to go outside to pee so I's don't burn down the house". Keep in mind that it is going to be a new experience for you, friendly advise... SIT DOWN! This will make unwrapping the little burrito easier as well. Again you'll bleed a lot so wrap it to avoid clotting to your underroo's. I found it very easy to use TP to wrap with for the first day or two. Plus it's easy to just soak it a little and remove any pieces that stick to the clotting. Another piece of advice wash your hands before you handle youself in the restroom. Your own urine is sterile, sterile is good for cleaning. This may sound a little gross however rest assured that and infection in a Prince Albert piercing would be much more gross. When you urinate let the first few seconds of the stream breakdown the clotting and using your kegels, start and stop your stream to allow the "dripple" to coat the jewlery. Hear is the gross part, get urine on your fingers and ever so gently work the jewlery back and forth through the piercing. Keep in mind that there will be clotting on the outside and the inside. Again allow me to stress the importance of GENTLY. After about the first week the throbbing with subside and the burning will decrease to the point of being bearible. The most important thing I found was to allow AMPLE time to hear before attempting to reap the benifits. I waited 2 weeks and then my (ex) wife and I attempted to engauge in testing. I got aroused and noticed a deffinate addition to my sensation. now I'm one that enjoys a little pain, so at first it was great. Then she moved left as I went right, the results... I teared up in pain and swore off sex for another 2 weeks as I ripped myself a bit.

In conclusion...
How much did it hurt? Let's set the bar here. 1 being the slight grazing of a infant and 10 being a swift corner kick from David Beckhem to the nuts.

The piercing itself = 5-6
The Throbbing = 7
The peeing and cleaning process = 8-9
Having s e x before being healed completly = 10+

How quickly it healed? on average from my knowledge it should take 4-6 weeks to be fully functional again. Even so, think of it like a new car, take it easy for the first few miles as there is a breakin period.

A chance of perminant numbness? Personally I've never heard that myself. However I'm not a piercer nor am I a doctor. I noticed no loss of feeling, however with any genital piercing I would imagine there are plenty of horror stories out there.

A question you neglected to ask... Was it worth it? The prince albert is a piercing for the guy. The reason for the piercing is to stimulate the urethria as an addition to any type of other p e n i l e stimulation. Much like a woman stimulating the c l i t o r i s durring intercourse. On another note some women notice it, some don't. However the feeling I get from my 4 gauge PA is worth the temporary pain and discomfort of the piercing process. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if needed.

Please excuss any spelling errors as it is really late here and I should be in bed...

Hope this helps,

Johnny Chopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
what is sexy and what is not
Posted: 7/5/2006 10:02:53 PM
Shiloh,

Gotta agree with Wrecks, to each their own. What floats my boat may very well capsize Wrecks ship? (i may have just confussed myself)

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
question for the men
Posted: 7/5/2006 10:00:04 PM
I'll take both please. Big turn on on both accounts... Why you ask???


I have no clue... It just is.


JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
how do we make you smile
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:57:48 PM
Shiloh44,

I was once told durring a breakup dinner that I smile to much... Talk about killing the moment. Smile to frown in 1/2 a second flat. Years ago and I have since got my smile back.

:)
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
SIngle moms...
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:46:03 PM
I have a T-Shirt that I gets quite a bit of attention that deal with this exact subject. the shirt states "I (heart meaning Love) Hot Moms". While most people find this amussing I'm seriously advertising. i find mother very attractive as the for the most part have an amazingly nuturing personality and are usually patient women. Would I date them? I prefer them! Stipulations? Yes, as I would eventually like to have at least one of my own I prefer mothers with 2 children max and usually younger ages are better as the age gap could be less of an issue for the children as they grow. Of course all of this is my personal opinion and in no way fact. Just my preferance. That being said, I discount no one. As you never know where you'll find what you're looking for.

Hope this helps, and on a personal note - in regards to my t-shirt, You qualify! ;)

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Phone calls and no talk
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:10:32 PM
I'm gonna give you the benifit of the doubt in that you're not lumping all guys together. Not all men suffer from "Communication Defficiency". Some can actually progress a conversation through to a logical and meaningful end where both parties are satisfied and maybe just maybe even had a pleasurible experience. This skill usually transends past phone calls to coffee shop, dinner, and the ever popular "would you like to come in" conversations.

J.M.O.
JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
A question about tools......
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:00:59 PM
My Ex used to ask how to use the tools I had in the garage, I took it as a compliment. I enjoyed given a quick lesson, then watching her get the hang of it and start reallt enjoying it herself. It was a ego boost for me, and also doubled as spending quality time together doing something I liked while she was learning something usefull. The same happened in the kitchen a lot, only the rolls were reversed. I can now make one hell of a breakfast quiche. lol

Just my opinion...

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
what do men find romantic?
Posted: 7/5/2006 8:52:41 PM
Romance is not dead, and there are men out there that recognize romance. Believe it or not Some even crave it just as much as women. Me personally, I love getting flowers. I got flowers once while I was in school to become Harley Davidson certified Technician. Now I 'm a stout bald tattooed guy, but I still welled up a bit and got loads of crap from the guys in school. I didn't care though, I'm sure it was a funny thing to see a guy like me strap a 1/2 dz. roses to my handle bars and take off into the sunset. What they couldn't see as I left was the hugh s h i t e a t i n g grin on my face as I left.

Ladies if your inclined to be romantic to your man, do it. The reaction may not always be what your hoping for, but you can't change that part of YOU and continue to be happy in the relationship. Been there, done that.

One more thing, check out a book called "The Five Love Languages" - It's interesting.

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
what were you doing 25 years ago?
Posted: 7/5/2006 7:47:17 PM
WOW - Good memories here, Check it out.

25 years ago... I remember stealing hub caps out of the back of a flatbed that was loaded with 'em. Somebody parked it across the street from my Grandma's house all summer long. I'd load up my red wagon with 'em and then stroll down to the end of the block and sell them to the Gas Station owner for a quarter each. Then I'd hit the Asain convienance store and get a baby can of soda and play Pac-Man. Did it everyday for a month or so... Years later I found out it was the gas station owners truck. lol - he knew exactly what I was doing. Pretty cool of him to keep given me money for his own hub caps.

This all happened in Hawthorne California, I was five.

Johnny B.
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Tattoo's and Piercings ........ Turn off or Turn on?
Posted: 6/18/2006 8:37:43 PM
RogueAngel -

I think Tattoos and Piercings are very sexy on women in most cases. There are some ink locations and piercings I personally don't care for. Sleeves on women = turn on for me. But not a must. Tattoos up the front of the neck, on the face or around the belly button are turn offs. Tongue Piercing = cool, but that lip thing... not real appealing to me.

Ultimately, I think it's, like all else, personal preferace. I understand guys can be classified into a couple of groups, but when it comes down to it. We're still all individuals with unique tastes.

Johnny
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Would like to have my profile reviewed - Thanks in advance.
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:28:22 AM
Back to the top...



JohnnChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Erectile Dysfunction
Posted: 6/14/2006 11:20:02 PM
I say have him try a c o c k r i n g, they're inexpensive and have worked for me and some of my friends. I had a bit of trouble a few years ago but change in diet and exercise resolved the issue. Imagine it like the tube used the "pop" the viens before you give blood...

just my opinion.

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Psychology/Physiology: spanking
Posted: 6/14/2006 9:25:45 PM
Hezron,

Not to break away from the original question being focused toward the ladies but (no pun intended) spankings can be an enjoyable experience for men as well. I enjoy giving up that control to a woman that I am intimate with. Key word there being "INTIMATE" as not all the women that have found themselves in my bed have gotten to "smack that a$$" - Intimacy is very important along with extremely open communication without fear of ridicule. On a more personal note, having been violently abused as a child, both physically and sexually, I found over time that the level of intimacy needed for such an endeavor (me spanking and being spanked for pleasure) helped heal and created a very strong bond between that woman and I.

Hope that makes sense! Now having been "opened up" to a whole new world of sexual and sensuality, I have to agree with an earlier post...

Don't knock it till you try it...

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Brutally honest reviews avilable here......libel actions accepted
Posted: 6/14/2006 7:33:43 PM
Mr. Snowman,

After reading you reviews of others profile I find my self amussed and nervious to ask... Yet at the same time, like turning ones head to horrific car accident, I can't stop my fingers from typing. Please review my profile...


Thank You,

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Would like to have my profile reviewed - Thanks in advance.
Posted: 6/14/2006 3:50:48 PM
Martin,

Thank you sir. I appreciate the observations. I'll be editing tonight. Do you think I should pull the apology completely?

Thanks again.

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 137 (view)
 
I'll review profiles...no promises that I'll be gentle
Posted: 6/14/2006 2:55:13 PM
Aggieamy07,

Please take the time to review my profile. I just want to make sure I'm heading in the right direction or get some direction. A woman's touch is oh so vital, on the profile.

Thanks

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 84 (view)
 
LET ME REVIEW YOU!!!
Posted: 6/14/2006 2:51:41 PM
King,

Hit me man. Review away.

Thanks,
JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 562 (view)
 
Do you want a ruthless review?
Posted: 6/14/2006 2:50:00 PM
Ruthless,

I take one please. Appreciate your time.

Thanks

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Would like to have my profile reviewed - Thanks in advance.
Posted: 6/14/2006 2:48:36 PM
Get back up top you...

Thanks for the veiws, how 'bout some REviews?

;)

Thanks
JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Would like to have my profile reviewed - Thanks in advance.
Posted: 6/13/2006 8:34:17 PM
Good point. And thanks for the compliment.

Thanks.
JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Would like to have my profile reviewed - Thanks in advance.
Posted: 6/13/2006 8:26:16 PM
Just wanna make sure I'm heading in the right direction. Constructive critisism welcomed.


Thanks in advance.

JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
what catches your eye?
Posted: 6/13/2006 3:33:37 AM
Great question... and a lot of great responses. I would say for me, it the way a woman presents herself to the everyday world. You can usually tell if she is comfortible in her own skin. She dressess flattering to her body type and is just very well put together. She walks with gracefull confidence and a carefree purpose. She smiles even though she doesn't realize anyones looking. Her eyes pierce my soul, and that smile mends the whole.

As I type this, I can vividly see her walking down the way from her car to the local Starbucks entry. It seems in slow motion, and that song "She's so High" plays in my mind. Yet I can't see her face.


JohnnyChopper
 johnnychopper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Why do we find the bad boys irresistable??
Posted: 6/13/2006 1:43:35 AM
First post to the Forums so cut me some slack.

Bad Boys get the girls while Good Boys get passed by... Why?

Growing up I loved chick flicks and wanted a "Movie" kinda love. Where everything worked out in under a 120 mins. Had my heart broke many times. Like bones when the heart brakes it becomes stronger but at a cost. The signs of broken bones are always there in an x-ray as the bones deformed from the fracture. Same as the heart, for the most part you learn from each relationship and then steer away from the same signs the next time.

Fast forward a few years and many broken hearts later... I join a band playing guitar and singing. Now I not the Good Boy, I'm the guy in the band that sings about love. Did a little heart breaking myself, which I still don't feel right about.

Fast forward a few more years... Now I'm in the Marine Corps. a man in uniform. Not just any uniform but a uniform that is know around the world. So now I'm actually converting to the dark side of being a Bad Boy. After the Marines I worked with a state police Narc team. So the hardening of the heart starts and the inner bad boy manifests.

Now through all of this I'm taking turns breaking hearts and in turn having my heart broken. The cycle continues to this day. Like one guy already said - Bad Boy or not when it comes to the woman I fall for... anything they want or need, if in my power they get it. That inner good boy makes sure of it. I've lost everything due to a broken heart, ended up homeless for a while. Hustled pool for food money, and then meet a women and built a small empire. Lost it all again over a broken heart again.

I guess what I'm getting at is... you really can't classify men into just two categories "Bad Boys" and "Good Guys" as some like me and a couple others who have posted here find ourselves smack dab in the middle. We're shunned by the "Good Girls" and pursued by the "Naughty" - So the stereotypical cycle continues. Ultimately over the past few years I personally have been getting to know me, the real me. Realizing that my tattoos, piercings, riding habits, musical interests don't define me. They compliment me. In turn the same is true for women, "Good" vs.. "Naughty" - Don't we all have both sides within us? The light fighting the dark, the battle between good and evil within? I personally think that my goal is to find someone that understand the battle within through the experience of their own battle and therefore can not only relate, but offer companionship in love through the journey.

I hope I made some kind of sense as it's almost 2 am and I tend to ramble in the wee hours of the morning. :)

To the "Good Girls" -
Stay sweet and I wish you the best of luck in what you're searching for.

To the "Naughty" ones -
Thanks for the good times and the lessons learned over the bad times.

To the ones caught in the middle -
I can be reached via email... Hey, go with what works right?

JohnnyChopper
 
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