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 Author Thread: I'm I doing it wrong?
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
I'm I doing it wrong?
Posted: 10/11/2012 10:51:42 AM
Are you sending messages? Keep them short and ask a question so she has something to say when she writes back. Delete the picture with your nephews. When women select that you must have a photo in order to write they see all your public pics before reading your message. Without the caption I'd assume those are your kids and many women aren't going to take the time to find out otherwise; they'll just delete your message and move on to the next.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Years on dating sites and not a single reply.
Posted: 10/11/2012 8:55:04 AM
Azure,

This dating site can be brutal and your profile isn’t doing you any favors. However, don’t listen to the nay-sayers above, a few tweaks and you’ll not only be getting responses but messages from women you haven’t contacted as well. The only reason Chrismac does better in real life is because he wears a shirt in real life.

Pictures are key. Crop your main picture to a thumbnail that shows only your face. It’s a good picture of you but hard to pick out what you look like when your entire body is fit into the small thumbnail. Then get more pictures, many more! Get pictures of you on walks, get pictures of you singing karaoke, get pictures of you cooking, get pictures of you pressing flowers. Come-on man, looking at a menu doesn’t make you intriguing!

Change dating to long-term. Dating implies you’re not going to take the relationship seriously. Long term doesn’t mean you expect to marry her, just that you’re looking to find a single person to spend quality time with.

Your profile should state the truth, and only the truth, but you don’t need to state the whole truth. Get rid of anything negative. Everyone has faults but when you state them in a profile you come across as dwelling on them.
Sadly, work takes up all my time. In my free time I play games
You loose everybody right here. If work takes all your time then when are you going to spend time with a special someone? OMG – don’t follow that with “playing games”! Games has its own context in the dating world. Now I think you’re online just to screw with women which make a lot of sense when you don’t have time for a GF because of work.

Without going into as much detail, look for and delete the following words (and the sentence they’re in of course): Homebound, lame, dislike, little patience, and loner.

You want women want to get a quick impression of who you are so they can respond to your message. Long lists of movies, shows, and games only slows them down. Even then I would say your profile is too long (although there are plenty who like long profiles). The purpose of the profile is NOT to tell about yourself (contrary to what everyone else says). It works when the profile is a bit of a tease; tweak her interest; don’t bore her with details.

Finally, get rid of the last line. Few women are going to contact you and encouraging them isn’t going to make it happen; sounds needy. You’re the man, you do the initial contacting. Don’t use the phrase one-on-one - you will want to meet in a public place. She knows your not going to bring your friends along (if you do I promise it will be a very short date).

Add something for a first date. Don’t be too specific or she’ll think you do the same thing on all your first dates but don’t be too vague either or she’ll think you’re expecting her to sleep with you on the first date. Tough balance. Read what others have written there for guidelines.

Good luck!
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
My profile is awesome.
Posted: 10/10/2012 6:06:41 PM
Tim, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your profile is not awesome. Sorry. You are off to a decent start though. First, you should delete your photos and reload recent ones. POF no longer tags photos so I immediately know all those pictures are at least a year old. In your about me section you should get rid of everything already mentioned. If it's in your interest list you don't need to list it again unless you are going to expand on it. Leave in the spiders and snakes. Sounds like a deal breaker if she's afraid of them and your job is not to get her panties wet; it's to tell her who you are. Write in paragraphs. Right now your profile is choppy. I think you have a lot of good things to say but try to organize them into paragraphs and make it entertaining to read. Here's something to think about:

You send messages for two purposes. The first is so she looks at your main picture (the thumbnail version that shows up next to the message). The purpose of the main picture is to get her to look at your profile. The purpose of the profile is to make her more curious about you. The second purpose of the message is to make it easy for her to write back.

So, the ingredients of an awesome profile are a good, clear, headshot main profile picture; a profile that says enough but only enough about you to make people want to know more; and a first message with simple questions.

Good luck,
Eric
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Screw it why not.. Im gamed..lmao
Posted: 10/10/2012 1:02:55 PM
Charlie –

Talk more about yourself and less about who you are looking for. Don’t say your looking for a “cute” woman; it sounds superficial. Instead of saying you looking for a “fun” person, describe what “fun” means to you.

Take it easy on the “shift” key. You have many random and incorrect capitalizations. “I have a great, no make that awesome, job” Needs to be punctuated like that. I had to read that sentence 4 times to figure out what you meant to say due to the lack of commas and extra capitals. Although my real recommendation is to loose that line completely if your not going to be more open about what it is that you do. Speaking of being more open; say rather you have kids or not. The coy thing isn’t going to work for anyone.

If age isn’t important there is no need to mention it. Some would think a 37 y/o dating a 25 y/o is creepy and mentioning being open to that age difference might scare off some women closer to your age. Honestly, I don’t think you need to be concerned about 24 year old women filling up your inbox.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Profile review for a Left Brainer
Posted: 10/10/2012 9:34:56 AM
The best profile advice I’ve received was to change my main picture to a clear close up head shot – no hat, no sunglasses – from the shoulders up. That made all the difference for me. You should do the same. Your main picture is good but not as a main picture. Your other picture can be cropped to just a head shot as a main. However, unless you are racing desk chairs around your shop I don’t understand the caption with the background.

There are no truths, only popular opinions. If *Many* people confuse confidence and self assurance as arrogant and brash/self-centered; you are the latter. Not a good start. Start where you say “I am comfortable…” but don’t start the second sentence with “And”. If you want grammatical correctness your business is “… not doing too badly.”

“Be confident in who you are….” Some might give you a hard time about that paragraph; I don’t care one way or another but it’s odd to sequitor into that then back to “There you go, short and to the point. This is ME !” for just that line. Move that line to before the previous paragraph.

“My name is Mike and I approve this message” – that’s funny, I like it for at least a couple more months.

Get rid of everything after that. It’s a dating site, women know they can write to you; don’t beg. If you really need them to have a picture just make it part of who can write to you. Honestly, unless your inbox is flooded to the point you can’t keep up why would you restrict who can write to you? If the profile is interesting you can always ask for a picture later.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong or is it just me they don't like?
Posted: 8/30/2012 9:00:40 AM
You aren't going to get many responses with a status of "separated". When your divorce is finalized you'll see a much better return rate. However, to help you hit the ground running when that day occurs here is some advice. Get rid of the picture in the mirror. Women have many options on this site and have the luxury to choose a random reason to not respond to a profile. A self-portrait mirror picture is a common one of those random reasons. Your about me section starts off terribly. Your first line is negative – delete it; your second line is generic – delete it; your next paragraph is odd then insulting – delete it. “If you got this far read below” is now unnecessary because we got rid of everything above but even if we hadn’t, what else do you think she’d do? The rest goes on to read like the majority of profiles. No blunders but no passion, no spark, no reason to pick you over the 100s of other guys who have written; but at least it’s a start. If you’re highly proactive, that could get a few responses (after the aforementioned changes).

First Date:

“If a miracle happened and I actually got a date” Is God awful. Show some confidence, act like you’re going to know what to do and how to behave on a date. (Likewise get rid of the line about having been out of the dating scene for a while. Don’t over do it, because you’ll sound like a player, but give some indication that you know how to plan a date and how to be good company on a date.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I'd like an honest review, please.
Posted: 8/29/2012 9:04:28 PM
Hey Tyler,

A few thoughts. First, I noticed all your pictures are you in a group of people. When I see that on a woman's profile it screams insecurity to me and I steer away. The main picture is questionable if someone was cropped out, it looks like that’s the case.

Are you getting a lot of messages from women who don’t have a degree or completed a trade school? If your inbox is flooded with them you need to change your profile so it doesn’t attract that type; if not than there is no need to bring it up. Either way there is no need for that part.

Same thought on your restrictions on who can write. You know you’re under no obligation to date someone just because the write, right? Ease up a little.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Profile review please!
Posted: 8/29/2012 5:01:37 PM
Hi Happy,

Your pictures are alright. Your main picture should be a close up of your face. It’s too bad the one that is is so grainy. It will be worth your effort to have someone get a nice close up of your face for you main picture.

Who do you think will write to you after reading your first sentence? Livingston guys think you’re going to move away and Humble guys know you aren’t yet local. You have several options but chose one place (perhaps Cleveland) and let the details rest for now. They’ll be time to explain your situation in person before you go bringing the guy to your home.

The second paragraph needs to go as well. I know absolutely nothing about you before reading this paragraph then all of a sudden you are talking about how you don’t want to marry me! Change your intent from “long term” to “dating” would be one thing you could do. But regardless, this paragraph needs to go. I never bring up the marriage thought until at least the third date (sarcasm). If a guy helped you carry your groceries to your car then asked for your phone number would you tell him you didn’t want to get married? That’s about the comfort level you should be at when writing your about me section. Tell the things you would tell the guy who carried your groceries to make him interested.

The next paragraph is mostly already listed in your interests so no need to repeat here.

“My biggest goal in life…” YEAH – now you’ve started the about me section! (for anybody who is still reading). Depending on how religious you are, you may or may not want to keep the God comment. As a non-religious person, I would shy away from you for that mention (I’m happy to discuss religion but when God, Jesus, Allah, and the like show up in a profile I assume the person is too set in their ways to have an honest discussion). If you’ll only date a Christian than by all means leave it there. The sentiment behind it is good.

First date – again, too much explaining. Just go with “Something casual and low key…” There is no need to explain how you differentiate between a first meeting and a first date.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Profile Review ps.
Posted: 8/29/2012 3:14:36 PM
Your pictures are decent, but more is always better. For Ethnicity you might want to choose Black or Mixed; at least I was surprised to see Caucasian from viewing your pictures. The about me is fine; however, you have one sentence to fix:


I could eat out of a plastic spoon just as good as a golden one and believe if you have the opportunity to turn your “plastic” situation into a golden one then… I’m all in and all for it.

There are some grammatical errors in this sentence. First, “good” should be “well”; second, you change tenses. “Could” is past tense (“can” is present) while “have” and “I’m” is present (“had” and “I’d be” are past). Either tense is fine but chose one and stick with it.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Please, can I have some guys give me feedback on my profile
Posted: 8/17/2012 11:32:48 AM
Definitely get new pictures. As mentioned the blinding light in the background is a problem but it's easy to fix... spin the chair around and take the picture with that light facing you not the camera.

Regarding your profile, it was OK but you have way too many little comments in ( ). They are cute but get old quickly and disrupt the flow to the reader. Once or twice it alright; either delete the rest or make a full, independent sentence from what you are trying to get across.

The last paragraph is completely unnecessary, just delete it.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
So... What do you think of my pics, profile, and personality?
Posted: 8/13/2012 9:35:54 PM
Hi there Travis J. Williams,

I know you are new so first let me tell you not to expect too much action on here. If one in twenty women respond to your initial message you are doing fine; just as a heads-up.

Regarding your profile:
Your pictures are the most important part. Your main picture is good, the guitar pictures are good. I would recommend you lose the picture of the snake… I know its part of who you are, I know you need a woman comfortable with snakes. That does not mean you need to confront her with a snake right away; you’re losing more than your gaining with that picture. All of your pictures look candid. Try to get one (or more) of you being natural and outside.

More interests would be helpful. Why is guitar not on this list?

Paragraph by paragraph:


I am ready to find that special someone that I can share everything with, and who can share everything with me. I want to be there for someone else, and know there's someone there for me.
Good, keep it but don’t start with it. This is about who you are foremost and what you’re looking for secondary.


As a follower of chivalry I do believe in being a gentleman above all else, unless the situation calls for less tact, or a more fun-filled personality. I do however believe that ALL women should be treated with respect at ALL times!!!
Chivalry is an excellent word to use, I use it as well. Be more subtle, casual, about it. Make the idea that you are chivalrous come out as natural and should be the expectation not the exception.


I enjoy anime and tv, I am going to be a high school science teacher in a couple more years and eventually move to a junior collage or university. I am very intelligent and fun to be around. I have finished my Associates and will be transferring to university to finish of my Bachelors and teaching degree in a couple years. I want to teach at a local, small high school and work on my Bachelors in Chemistry, my Masters in Bio and possibly move up to the Junior College or University Level. And i love almost all forms of music except for rap.
Watch your paragraphs; what does anime, tv, future plans, and taste of music all have to do with one another? Having plans are good, but reduce it to a short sentence. That will be enough; otherwise you come across a guy with dreams not plans.


I have a few ATVs that my friends and relatives enjoy riding out on my families property. I enjoy my job, learning new things, and meeting new people. I sing and play rhythm acoustic guitar in my church, and I love life.
Do you have many families or does the property belong to your family? I believe you mean “…family’s property.”. Why is ATVs not on your interest list?


I believe there is nothing that can happen to a person in their day-to-day life that can "ruin" the rest of their day. If you want to have a bad day, you will; if you're positive, you'll be able to bounce back from a bad situation, or even turn it around.
Good. In fact start with this - except get rid of the “I believe” Open your profile: “There is nothing that can happen…” That is a positive, confident statement which will garnish attention.


I hope to find someone with whom I can share, and who would like to share with me.
Does this make you unique? I really don’t think so. It’s not bad just fit it in somewhere else, it does not deserve its own paragraph.


If you have ANY questions for me, just ask; I have nothing to hide. :P
under normal circumstances I would say delete this but it flows nicely into your next paragraph, I’m undecided.


As an example of my openness and honesty, I've never been in a relationship before, I've never kissed any girl (outside of family on the cheek),
leave the kissing (or lack thereof) part out. Women like good kissers and lack of experience will be a turnoff. Date and practice; no girl wants to be your practice kisser. Move in with confidence; if you’re a natural than go with it, if you need practice that’s OK (you can even ask what she liked). “Sorry, that felt a little awkward; what were you expecting me to do?” might throw her off guard enough to give an honest answer. Remember for next time or next woman.


and... I'm a 20 year old virgin. Think any of that embarrasses me, NOPE. Think I'll hold anything back if you ask, NOPE.
Leave the virgin part in. Again experience is good but you’re only 20 and not an outlier (I wouldn’t think). Make sure to build it as commitment to solid relationship as opposed to no opportunity.


And, if you think any of what you've read is wrong, or a lie... I'm sorry that you feel that way. :'(
Never end a profile with negative words… wrong, lie, sorry - ARRGH. Just leave this out. And while we’re at it, don’t instruct her to “write to me if you want to know more.” She knows she has that option. Just sign off. Leave her hanging just a little, so she wants to write.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Please review my Profile!!!
Posted: 8/7/2012 8:54:09 PM
Firefly,

I encourage grammar lessons so kudos for pointing out common mistakes. On that note, adverbs generally end with 'ly. "... one day *really* soon." is correct. Thanks for doing your part.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
please review my profile
Posted: 8/7/2012 10:55:03 AM
First change your main picture to the one of you in the tie. Then get rid of the picture of your brother’s car. Few women are going to car what kind of car you drive and none are going to care what car your brother drives. Your profile is about you - not your brother or his car.

Your “About Me” section is a rambling mess. I don’t mean to be rude or condescending, but I don’t think even a grammar check can help you with it. Do you know anybody with a decent grasp of sentence structure? Have them help you. Then we can get into details.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Could use a look over
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:34:30 PM
Lelly,

You should have your eyes open in your main photo. Get rid of any picture which has a woman in it; it doesn't matter if she's your sister, mom, daughter, or whatever. The picture of you as a kid is alright but not when you have so few others. Get six good recent ones of you with your eyes open, shirt on (just a heads up), being active, then if you must you may include a photo from many years ago.

Personal pet-peeves: women your age are women or ladies, not girls. I've never read a profile looking for a "boy" seems women want a "man" so you should want a "lady".


If I have piqued our interest or if you would like to know anything more fee free to ask.

I don’t have this line on my profile and amazingly the women seem to know what to do anyway. If that surprises you then keep this.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Young lady I was talking to sundenly hides her profile .
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:15:18 PM
First let me say I often think it's ridiculous for guys to answer questions when the forum is clearly "Ask a girl". However, I see that you've had zero responses in over an hour despite 50+ views so maybe something from the wrong gender is still better than nothing.

Matthew, the experience you just described, I'm sorry to say, not unusual. I see that you are relatively new here. You should expect this from one out of every 15 - 20 women you start a conversation with. There are too many reasons why she might have quit messaging you to list here; none of them your fault. It happens; move on. If it starts happening with one out of three women that you start a conversation with, then come back and provide specifics so the kind folks here can try to figure out where you *are* going wrong. I would recommend you leave her completely alone for a month. If you are still not seeing anyone and you see she is still getting online then you can message her again. But even then only one time; if she doesn't respond chalk it up as her loss.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
PLEASE HELP!
Posted: 8/6/2012 2:48:49 AM
You need pictures (plural intended) of just you, especially your main picture.



Well hi there. Just like almost everyone else here Im not too sure about nline dating but ill give it a shot.
You should drop this for many reasons but the only one you need is this says absolutely nothing about you. But while we’re here I’ll give you some pointers:
-Im is not a word
-nline I give you as a typo but you should spell check everything you write
-ill means sick

First impressions count. This is not how you want to start.



I love music, my family and my faith. Those are the three most important things to me.
“The three most important things to me are music, family, and faith.”


I am looking to settle down.
Sounds like you are going to rush things


She has to love dogs kids and music.
Talk to her, not about her. “You should love dog’s kids and music” (note the punctuation; I think it’s still wrong but I couldn’t tell what you meant especially given you’ve missed so many apostrophes before. Maybe you want commas?)


I love to sing. I can go out to the karaok:e bar and have a blast. I like intimate parties with friends, big blowouts or nights in one on one.
one obvious typo; “nights in” is OK; one on one is understood but becomes creepy when it’s emphasized by mentioning.


I'm eclectic. We can talk about sports one day and then faith the next. I love outdoor activity like fishing or camping as much as I enjoy a musical. We can take in a baseball game or go out for a fancy dinner and dancing.
Activities are included in your interest list. Only mention them again if you are going to elaborate, which you should do on one or two.



Really just ask me if I haven't said something you were looking for I'm pretty sure I can find interest in it.
“I have many diverse interests and can easily find common ground with nearly anyone.”


I am genuine. I am not here for a one night stand, hookup or just one date if that's what you think of me, move on...
Conjures up negative thoughts; leave this out.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Pretty please :)
Posted: 8/6/2012 1:27:44 AM
I didn't intend to make a game out of finding sentences with missing words. LUCK found one of them. The other is this:


Recently started walking to and from work, helps burn that little bit more and ...

You need to state what you are burning that little bit more of.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Dating with disabilities...
Posted: 8/2/2012 4:16:43 PM
I dated a woman in a wheelchair whom I met on this site. She was upfront in her profile which I believe is the correct thing to do. As stated, it is not the most important aspect so don't lead with it, but mention it. Your settings prevent me from messaging you, but if you message me I'll try to put you in touch with her. She can probably give you good advice.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Pretty please :)
Posted: 8/2/2012 3:45:03 PM
Not having as much luck this time around? It hasn't even been a week; be patient. Getting rid of the two pictures with a bathroom as the background can only help. Your profile is good although there were a couple sentences which appeared to be missing words. No major fouls just keep tweaking it every now and again.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Review and Rewrite please
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:40:46 AM
Your profile doesn't make you stand out from the hundreds of profiles women read on a regular basis. After reading your profile women are not going to see your picture pop up and think "Oh, yeah; that's the guy who said he is kind and caring." Talk about your passions.

In terms of the first date… I would recommend you start with a correctly spelled word. Beyond that, read some other people’s ideas and put the best parts of what you’ve read into you own words.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Brutally honest Profile Critique required
Posted: 8/2/2012 9:16:16 AM
Not to bad overall. You should post more pictures, get some of you being outside and active. From the pictures you do have I’d think your body type would be athletic.

You don’t need to start with “Hi there”; just jump in.


I'm looking to meet a like minded woman who is on the same page as I am in terms of dating and finding a quality relationship.
This is painstaking obvious – under what circumstance would this not be true? I’d get rid of it but if you are going to say this it belongs at the end. Until I’ve read your profile I don’t know what qualifies someone as a “like minded woman...”


Hope you are as well..:)
same as above; of course you do, no need to say it


I have a great career
Than why are you coy about it above?


If this sounds like you and you like what you see, feel free to say Hello.
What is this a dating site or something? Women don’t need the instructions, they are all well aware of their options.


PS: With the "Meet Me" feature, if you come across someone you'd like to actually meet, does it not make sense to say Hi or drop a note as well? Just my 2 cents worth..:)
Yes for men, not necessarily for women. Chivalry involves you making first communication; “Meet Me” is an invitation to do so (but is still not a guarantee of getting a response).

The best first meets continue on and become a first date. I wouldn’t emphasize a huge distinction. How about “Let’s meet for a cold drink and discuss a proper first date” – not those exact words but that idea.

You’ve been on for six weeks, be patient. Write lots of messages, expect few responses.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Need profile help
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:48:29 AM
Do absolutely everything Jay_Cee said with the exception of keeping any shirtless picture. Maybe you’ve already removed the one he said to keep but leaning on a walking stick and wearing a ball cap does make it clear to me that you are swimming; in fact I don’t even think you are swimming. Working with what you have, use the picture of you not standing still as you main photo, it shows the best smile; crop a thumbnail to show only your face. Since you have hopefully deleted four of seven pictures you need to get more pictures. Although none of the three you have left are inherently bad, you shouldn’t have three of you in the same shirt and same background, get rid of one or both; keeping the one mentioned earlier. Get a friend to take pictures of you outside, wearing a shirt, and doing something fun.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Please Review My Profile
Posted: 8/1/2012 8:32:53 PM
Hi Sleepy,

Your main picture should be a close up of your face and not have anyone else in it. I see you in there but the focus of your main picture is of a bearded guy – not what guys are looking for so most will not look at your profile. I’d go so far as to remove the picture with your grandfather; your profile is about you and nobody else. You also need to include a full body picture.

The body of your profile is alright but nothing wowed me or peaked my interest. Guys are going to decide to message you based on your pictures; then they will use the body of your profile to find a conversation piece. Currently you do not offer an easy way to strike up a conversation. Include something in your profile that will make it easy to ask you a question.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What do guys like to see?
Posted: 7/27/2012 9:46:11 AM
Hi April,

You main picture should be a clear (more so than what you have- current one is washed out) close up of your face that only shows you. It should be from your shoulders up (shoulders gives a guy a reasonable idea of body type). Your second should be a full length body shot outside standing comfortably. Then get some pictures of you with or doing the things you've included in your interest list - motorcycles, muscle cars, ATV, rafting, would all be good.

Don't take a picture of you sitting in a car (I see lots of these and don't understand why). Don't post more than one picture of you with a group, to me this shows insecurity.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Please take a look at my profile
Posted: 7/26/2012 12:25:56 PM
Why does a self-proclaimed grammar snob caption a picture "Me and Deb..."?
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Please Review My Profile
Posted: 7/26/2012 11:35:37 AM
Hi Kingpt,

Brace yourself, it's not good...

First you need better pictures. Look through the other profile reviews to get recommendations. Campfires does a nice job explaining what to do and not do.

Your About Me section is lousy. Here’s what I read:

You’re best attribute is that you are a huge fan of Slash (at least that is what you start with). Then you tell me about a bunch of interests that I already know about because of your interest list above but you don’t elaborate on any of them. Then you’re homophobic, then you have a collection of movies but interestingly didn’t list movies in your interests, then you feel you’ve said a lot even though you really haven’t said anything. Finally you borderline beg for someone to write to you.

Try reading some other profiles, especially ones that have been through the review process (nobody will think you’re gay if you read guys’ profiles) and pick out bits that you like. Tell about who you are, what makes you unique, what you like to do, why you like to do that, and the type of girl you are looking for.

Good luck.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Finding single guys offline.
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:29:04 PM
Volunteer: You're going to meet a higher caliber guy helping out at a soup kitchen or building a habitat house than you are at the local pub.

Meetups: find a group getting together to do something you'd like to learn more about. Guys will be falling over themselves to teach you the ropes

Ask for help: There is a basic human need to feel needed. I can make an instant friend out of anyone by asking them to do some mundane favor for me.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What do you people think of my crappy profile
Posted: 7/25/2012 7:22:23 PM
Hi Matt,

Enough of the bickering. Say "Thanks for the advice" and use only as much of it as you want. This is supposed to be about your profile, right? Here is my two cents...

Get rid of the self-portrait in the mirror. Women will quit looking at your profile right there, they have many profiles to view and don't need much of an excuse to move on, so don't give them any. Get your step mom to take more pictures of you but don't caption any of them with who took them. Get pictures of you being active.

Your profile has way too much negativity to it. Get rid of all uses off the word "ass"; take out anything which talks about who you are not, what you wouldn't do, etc. Focus only on the positive and affirmative. Get off your marijuana soap box. Your profile is not the place. Then, for crying out loud, run your profile though a grammar and spell check! It’s terrible and shows nothing but laziness. You have the makings of a good profile but the aforementioned items mask the potential.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Would love some feedback
Posted: 7/25/2012 1:53:40 PM
What you say is good, the way you say it could be improved upon. 12 of your first 16 sentences begin with "I" and you use several more in the middle of sentences. Try to combine some of your paragraphs so you have fewer longer ones.

I dislike reading through lists; rather they are in bullet form or separated by commas. You list off many music bands followed immediately by movie directors. That’s where you lost me and I started skimming. You can’t claim to not watch a lot of TV then list off five favorite shows.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Could you please Review My Profile?
Posted: 7/25/2012 1:28:47 PM
You need different pictures. First and foremost, as cute as your daughter is, she does not belong in your profile pictures at all. Of second importance, remove the self in the mirror on a cell phone. Those are immediate musts! Further; personally, I would not post the picture of you straddling the fence or in bed. Both of these can seem sexually suggestive; better to error on the side of caution. Finally, I don't see value to the picture of you in the car. Now pick only one of the two remaining because they are effectively the same. You have a very extensive list of interests. Can you incorporate any of that into a picture of yourself?
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Making my profile say Wow.
Posted: 7/25/2012 11:20:59 AM
Hi Shyanna,

From the top: I don’t know how others distinguish ‘a few extra pounds’ from ‘BBW’ but the way I distinguish, you are BBW. To me ‘extra’ is something to get rid of while beautiful is something to be proud of. Listing yourself as ‘few extra pounds’ means you’d like to lose weight. The statement “Please don’t ask me to change” say’s I’m beautiful the way I am; therefore you’re BBW. I’d curious what others have to say on this.

As addressed before you need full body pictures. That clarifies as lot regarding body type. Also they should be outdoors. You stated many hobbies, all of them outdoor activities, yet none of your pictures are of you doing anything. I have never understood why people post pictures of themselves in a car and I really don’t understand it for somebody who does not own a car. Each picture should show something unique about you. You have 4 pictures all effectively identical. The same picture posted four times would tell as much about you.

Your profession is cashier but later you say customer service. Maybe they mean the same thing but be consistent.

Your about me section does not wow me.


My hobbies are riding horse ,swimming ,4 wheeling and just been outside enjoying life.
Put these in the list of interests, not here.


Right Now, I have a job at Wal Mart working with Customer Service.
already stated above in profession, no need to restate


Right Now, I don' have a car
ditto


because the bus system is cheaper on me to get to and from work
How about: “I find the bus to be more convenient than owning a car.” If you feel the need to say anything at all about it.


I am a bigger women and Please don't ask me to change how I look because that just a big turn off. I want someone that will love me for me .
Focus on the positive and demonstrate you’re comfortable with your weight, don’t say it directly. Personally, I’m thin and comfortable so I’d never think to say “Please don’t ask me to gain weight.” Suggesting that other’s might ask you to change does not demonstrate being comfortable.



Hope to hear from you soon.

Obvious; this is a dating site, right? No need to say it.

I know mostly I’ve told you what to remove without giving any tips on what you should say. Frankly, that’s because nothing in your profile stood out as something I would encourage you to focus on. Read other’s profiles and note what you like and can relate to. Then string your notes together in your own words.
 Gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Insulted for NOT replying?
Posted: 7/25/2012 9:19:48 AM
There is no need to block someone for sending you one (at least somewhat appropriate) message; this is a dating site, guys are supposed to send you messages. I'm as offended when I get blocked as you are to receive insults for not replying. Skypirate is only partially right. They get no direct notification of being blocked but the original message is removed from their sent messages list, which can make it difficult for them to know if they’ve written you already. If your not interested just don’t reply; don’t block them until a second message.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Looking for some tips :)
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:29:43 AM
Hi Rusty,

Overall a pretty good profile. The first two paragraphs are good but then it peters out and you seem to be just going down the list of things POF told you to talk about. It isn't bad, just see if you can be more enthusiastic (or you can leave it out, I don't mention anything about music). The 'craziest thing' at the end is good but it's good for a few sentences. What did you think of that experience, would you go again, does it make you want to do other crazy stuff, would you encourage others to go,...? Don't answer all those questions or it will drag. Anybody can go skydiving - it's your reaction to it that will show your character.

The last line from “That’s basically me…” should go.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
A Little Advice?
Posted: 7/20/2012 8:04:18 AM
Hi Ben,
There are a few ways to tweak your profile but if you're not getting any responses it might be your messages. Do a forum search for username: " You go first " and find a posting where she gives first message advice.

Tweaking your profile: Main profile picture is OK. Try to find one where you can zoom in on just your face, the current one is a little grainy and/or blurry. Your eyes look closed in the thumbnail. Of your current pictures it's the best your got so leave it until you get new pictures. From looking at your other pictures I think it would be more accurate to describe your body type as athletic. Finally, copy and paste your About Me into something with a grammar and spell check. There are a few mistakes which stand out.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Any constructive critisim will be welome!
Posted: 7/20/2012 7:32:26 AM
Hi Greg,

The first thing a woman sees is your main picture. This is true if she’s searching proactively or gets a message from you. She can’t see you if you’re wearing a hat or sunglasses… you’re wearing both. Dangling a helpless creature by a hook in its mouth for that much longer so you can get a picture doesn’t exactly bring out your caring side either. Use the one of you with the dog as your main. Crop the picture to eliminate most of the background, then crop a thumbnail of just your face. Now the women will see that and say … “Hey, he’s cute” click on the thumbnail and say “Aw, puppy!” See the difference between that scenario and a dangling fish? Try to make each picture say something unique about you.

If you’re retired put that in your profession… “retired from education” might what you want to say.

“Difficult”; “very tired of”; “trappings”; are all negative words. Get rid of them and the subject matter they’re used with. “Unlike most guys” – are you sure? How do you know? Don’t try to differentiate yourself by guessing. State what you want and let her decide if that makes you different.


Anywhere we can both feel comfortable, safe and be able to communicate


Show it, don’t say it.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Would YOU date me if you read this?
Posted: 7/19/2012 9:45:28 PM
You cut one paragraph, which was a good one to cut, but still paragraphs 1,3,5 start with a negative thought.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Would YOU date me if you read this?
Posted: 7/19/2012 9:29:10 PM
You don't realize it but your profile has a lot of negativity to it. Look at all your references to what you are not and what you don't want. Right now your first, third, fourth, and sixth paragraph begin with or focus on a negative topic. Your profile should only focus on the positive. Lose the last line now that you have pictures posted.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Needing some help
Posted: 7/19/2012 12:02:23 PM
Hi Annie,

You appear to be a great 'catch' for the right guy. From your post it seems that you are initially attracting the right guys but not getting the initial response to lead to a date. If this is the case, it's not your profile, that is only good for the initial contact, which you are getting.

Without knowing specifics I can only offer some reasons I've stopped communications with women.

1) She doesn't appear interested in keeping the conversation going. When you write do you give detailed answers to the guy's questions and ask one or more of your own? If messages aren't 3 to 4 paragraphs long in as many messages it's usually a sign that we actually have little in common.

2) She is negative. The first few messages is not the time to complain about anything... work, life, other POF experiences, etc. I know life is tough; I'm looking for someone to show me happy times not remind me of my stresses.

3) She is demanding. "How is your day?" is a far lighter question than "What are you doing?" Until you've met a few times the details of his activities are not your business. I had one lady send me a text "Heeeellllllooooo" when it took me more than 45 minutes to respond to an earlier text. We had not yet met in person. I called her and told her it wasn't working out for me. That's an extreme example but pay attention to how you're coming across.

4) Write back sooner rather than later. I know if you’ve been online and it’s disheartening if you don’t write back. Don’t play the wait a couple days game.

5) Once in a while you’ll run into an attention seeker who is not at all what their profile claims. They just want some attention but when it come to a point where they are going to get caught by meeting in person they quit writing. I think this last group is rare but I’m sure it exists.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Profile review needed
Posted: 7/19/2012 9:07:45 AM
More pictures of just you will help. Keep the one you have as a full body picture is borderline necessary. You can remove everything in "About Me" that shows up in your interest list. You also don't need to say "Looking forward to hearing from you." Write more about you. Quality guys are going to read that looking for a connection which they can ask a question about. The more you have the easier it is for them to write.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Honest Review please
Posted: 7/19/2012 8:44:26 AM
The most important thing you can do is change your main picture. See what shows up next to your posts? The first decision women make (to open a message or look at a profile) is based solely on that picture. Yours has two people in it. Identifying yourself in the caption is too late. You will be ignored in messages sent and by women searching "Meet Me" options because women don't want to have to guess who they are writing to. Your main picture must (for success) be a picture which is only you.

Start your profile where you say "I have a good sense of humor…” Everything before that is worthless fill.


i also believe i can be quite spontaneous with things as sometimes the best things …

Shows zero confidence. “I am very spontaneous because the best things…” –that shows confidence.

Check your capitalization. There are several instances where words should be capitalized but are not. Friends and Family should not be capitalized.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What do you think
Posted: 7/19/2012 6:44:44 AM
Your main picture should not be of a group. It’s best to give women a quick idea of what you look like, it’s the first impression before they look at your profile or open your message. Any self picture in the mirror is enough to cause some women to not respond. Start over on your pictures.

Get rid of the first and last lines in your profile. They don’t say anything about you. Check for spelling and grammar. (You shouldn’t end a sentence with “for”; it’s a preposition.)
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
i Can Take it, let me have it!!
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:14:17 PM
Take your "nice long messages" and put that in your profile. This way you don't have to type it each time and women proactively searching can find something interesting about you. Then make your initial messages short.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
New to all this....
Posted: 7/18/2012 7:28:25 PM
Spend some time looking at other profiles (even other guys') and reading this forum. Pay special attention to comments on pictures. Piece together a profile a little bit at a time. You have a ways to go before you're ready for a personal review.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Honest Review please
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:52:35 PM
Alright, let’s start with the pictures. Your main picture should be a close up of your face. Your current one is too far away; your second picture (of you holding…is it a Foster’s) would be your best one but crop only your face for the thumbnail. Try to get more shots of you being active and fewer shots of you as part of a group.

For better or worse you caught me with time on my hands and in one of my moods… brace yourself and take this with a grain of salt. This is all intended to be constructive:


So how do i write a profile that makes me stand out from the thousands of others that are on here? i suppose i can give it a go...

This doesn’t make you stand out. Just start it already. Introductions are unnecessary as we all know exactly why you are writing.


Well probably unlike (on a rough count based on nothing but ficticious facts sourced from myself) 85% of guys on here i'm not looking for a fling or something of that variety that makes many women cringe.

Your rough fictitious guess work is only going to make women cringe. If you were one of the 85% would you announce it? No. So announcing that you are not does nothing for you.


So about me...

Finally, but since your profile now starts here you, again, don’t need to introduce it, that’s been done for you with an automatic heading.


My friends would probably say i'm funny with a good sense of humour, forgive me for the word "Banter" (i hate that word) but it's always good to never take things so serious all the time as life is too serious as it is!

Who cares what your friends say? And even less what they would “probably” say. How would *you* describe yourself?

Why did you go out of your way to include a word you hate?


i enjoy experiencing culture, things such as going to the theatre, comedy clubs, museums etc...

These should be in your list of interests.


I love going to music festivals,

Also belongs in interests


I'm a fan of all kinds of music, i would say i am more into indie and rock (kings of leon, muse, foo fighters, the black keys, kasabian, ed sheeran, lana del rey, temper trap etc...)

Two or three examples should be plenty



I Value Relationships such as Family & Friends, i fully believe in loyalty and trust, two main things that if you have, will make anything work without problems.

Take it from a guy 12 years your senior… all relationships have problems; these are however a good foundation to deal with problems, not prevent them.


i get to encounter all sorts of people (within the BBC) who have problems and yes, there are plenty of them.

Everybody has problems. Knowing the private problems of famous people shouldn’t be used to lift yourself higher.



If you would like to know more then feel free to get in touch

Yes, this is a dating site after all. Based on nothing but fictitious facts sourced from myself, I would say 99.9% of women know their options if they would like to know more.



p.s forgive my pictures, i know i'm not really looking in the camera in any of the

I’m not going to forgive you your pictures. You knew what you were posting. If you think they are not right, post different ones.


It depends on the person but something we both would enjoy, not too intimate that would make them nervous but not like the Cinema where you wont even speak to the other person.

Who is them? You should take only one woman out at a time. I’d think there would be an extensive list of what not to do on a first date so why is Cinema the only one mentioned? Stick with what you would do and leave out what you would not.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
200ish emails...no dates
Posted: 7/15/2012 10:42:12 AM
A few easy fixes and you’ll be off to the races. Delete the self image of you in the bathroom mirror; many women will stop and move on to the next profile right there (now you’ll get 1 in 100 to respond). The dog picture only benefits those who have a dog, get a dog or get rid of the picture (now you’ll get one in 80 to respond).


I also make a killer shrimp scampi? That's right! Shrimp scampi!! lol. Are you impressed yet? No? Wait I'm not done yet..


But then you are done… or at least you quit writing about it. This is confusing (a fix and you’ll get 1 in 75 to respond)


let's just get some coffee already.

Sounds like you’re rushing and will push for a first date before she’s ready. (delete and you’ll get 1 in 65 to respond)

Add a first date which shows you are creative and will tailor the date to the lady (just don’t say it directly using those words). Now you’re at 1 in 50 responses. Like I said – off to the races!
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Can I get a review please
Posted: 7/15/2012 10:21:53 AM
Using the picture of you in the tie as a main image will dramatically improve the number of times your profile is viewed. Add at least one more paragraph about yourself. realy is spelled really. You are unlikely to get a woman on the back of your motorcycle or to your home or in a hot tub on a first date. Suggesting these activities makes you seem like you do not understand the types of concerns a woman has when meeting a guy for the first time.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
2013 pages ,I better get a profile review please!
Posted: 7/15/2012 10:09:45 AM
You have seven pictures and only one shows your face. Women are here to date you; not your dog, your car, the grand canyon, or the rest. One or two extras to show personality is fine but show yourself in the majority of your pictures.

Remove references to POF; we are all here. Remove LOL, it’s immature at any age. Remove any line which comes across as asking to be written to. eg What’s your story? Save the questions for your personalized messages.
 gramh
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Profile Review
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:38:36 AM
Your pictures are good although there is no need for the one of you in the car. Replace it with one of you without sunglasses OR a hat and rotate it in as one of your main images. Generally speaking you should not wear a hat in your main picture but it’s not egregious in your case.



This is my first time doing this, so I hope I don't screw up too bad.

Remove: unnecessary, doesn’t say anything about why someone would want to date you



I am coming out of a long relationship and would like to meet someone fun and see where it goes.

Your separated status is going to make online dating difficult. This line may help but don’t start with it, save it for near the end. (other reviewers may say remove it; your call)



I travel all over FL and Ga for work, so if you are an hour away, that is no big deal for me. I am used to it.

Remove: unnecessary. If it would be a problem put 'must live within 75 miles' as a restriction. Lacking the restriction makes any distance is fair game a given.



If you send me 96837656 text messages per day asking where I am, what I am doing, or who I am with, it will not work out. I have a professional job and a life and no reason not to tell you the truth about what is going on or where I am.

Also, please don't ask for naked pictures of me. I just figured out how to take self pictures of my face!

Oh, all my pictures are recent.

Any other questions, feel free to shoot me a message!

Remove all this. Just trust me, I’m not going to pick apart why. Send me a message if you really want the detailed reasons.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Please review
Posted: 7/15/2012 8:16:51 AM
Looks good now (picture correction pending). Happy fishing.
 GrAmH
Joined: 12/30/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Please review
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:52:37 AM
Oh, Campfires beat me to it.
 
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