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Thread: Has anyone had a good relationship with someone on POF?

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 177 (view)

Has anyone had a good relationship with someone on POF? Posted: 7/22/2012 9:19:16 PM
A lot of fun with various people, I gave many people a try that I didn't think I should but no one was close to a relationship. I got to experience things I never had and made some friends but there are just so many people here that I think it's a numbers game and you could lose out on some quality people because you get bogged down with crap. In other words, I think there are some serious missed opportunities here thanks to sleazy ass^ole%. The converse is also true. Men start to think women get a million messages but they are really looking for a slight modicum of wanting a connection. Best of luck, it's numbers.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

does it really matter what i ask? Posted: 7/22/2012 8:37:04 PM
Like many above, I get a ton of messages saying "how are u", only to find out they havent read my profile. Now I am not dating now but I would generally only respond to those who actually looked at my profile and could comment on it. Try starting a convo with a reaction to something in the profile. I think you'll get results there.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

What Does It Take!?! Posted: 7/22/2012 8:31:48 PM
I say it's a numbers game and I stand by that. Your best match may look at your profile, not be in the mood for a guy into hockey and move on despite your great qualities. Keep trying. Women are bombarded with crap and get tired of weeding through crap. Make yourself special in the message as well as the profile. For example, the Wild sucks but what was your greatest hockey experience? Sorry. What is in their profile that you could comment on? "You went to Sturgis in 1990? I always wanted to go but just recently became a Harley owner". Just an example. Beef up the resume and focus on her in the interview.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Kiss greeting post first kiss Posted: 7/20/2012 4:45:38 PM
You're on the right track! A little mystery is a great thing. Hope it works out for you.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

Does this site really work? Posted: 7/20/2012 4:42:57 PM
I haven't read all the responses so I'm sorry if I'm repeating. I haven't met my soul mate here but I have met some great people and for whatever reason didn't work out. I went on many dates with fun people and experienced things I never have before. I went diving, fished in a decked out shanty , rode a Harley, drove the General Lee, dined above a city, ended up in a St. Pat's Day parade, and saw things I didn't know existed. Better...I made some really great friends. I just opened my mind and gave interesting people a shot. After a while I met someone on another site. It can work but really, it's a numbers game. So many people are here for a hookup only that it makes others feel like they need to hookup only but just keep at it. Best of Luck!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Kiss greeting post first kiss Posted: 7/20/2012 4:30:03 PM
Hug greeting. Kiss later if it goes well. Good luck!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

she wants to bring her friend and her boyfriend on first date Posted: 6/4/2012 6:49:29 PM
No. Maybe future dates bringing others but first date no way. Tell her that you wouldnt be uncomfortable with her texting etc all through the date but no joiners. Meet in a public place to help her alleviate her anxiety but you're trying to get a one on one, not you and her friends opinion and the other guys opinion.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Can i get some advice from girls that are clued in to the game? I'm looking to improve my profile. Posted: 5/10/2012 11:07:46 PM
Tell a story for God sake. For example, you like deep philosophical conversations. Period. Satre? Yeats? Freud? Dr Seuss? Your profile tells nothing about who you are but says a lot about what a bunch of people say you should put on a profile. You're an aspiring musician...who do you like to listen to? When you go on a date, could you envision taking her to a pub like in New Orleans to appreciate undiscovered artists? A street musician with his case open? I mean, do you want to go on a date? What do you want to find in her?

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Worst/Best Message? Posted: 5/10/2012 10:51:54 PM
Easy. The worst solicit sex on the first message. The best are the ones that respond to something in my profile. I've always tried to keep it short but when a guy could tell me about his experience at a RHCP concert, it was on! Even the fact that he knew what RHCP meant was interesting. Read the profile, find some commonalities and respond to them.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Long distance Posted: 5/10/2012 10:26:20 PM
You definitely need a lot of communication as to what the goals for both parties are. In my case, what is day to day life going to be like. I moved here a very active and fit healthy person and found him to be very sedentary except when friends wanted to go out. He's so much more active now but people don't normally change for a SO this much. I had to take a pay cut also. It took me biting my tongue a lot to not bring that up. call me petty, whatever but I'm a risk/reward person. The risk turned around and the reward is better after 3 years but I had serious questions in the beginning. If you can make a lateral move and it's really no big deal to move away from your home, go for it. But go with eyes wide open. Don't be resentful when he asks you to buy the new sofa and...."Whaaaaa...I just moved across the country for you, the least you can do is buy the sofa!" Stuff like that is bound to happen. He needs to take the extra steps. I would also suggest finding your own place for a while so you don't feel like a caged animal. If your goal is to get married, move in together, whatever, you still need to establish you independence. Make your own friends also. Keep your pad until you feel comfortable. You will not feel comfortable leaving your home into this guy's home. As well as you think you know him, you need a place to retreat to until you are fully aware of yourself in a new town, a new situation. To look for red flags; when you visit him, go out with his friends. Pay attention to who his friends are and how he communicates with them. Planning things with you or without you as the above poster alluded to is very telling.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Long distance Posted: 5/10/2012 9:35:23 PM
I just wrote a post pro and con to the LDR thing but now they are voting to delete it. I am in a LDR, after a year of dating and we are 3 years into it. I would call it a success but with pitfalls you don't get with close relationships. Inbox me if you are wanting to talk more. Best of luck. Looks like the thread may be deleted.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Can't talk dirty Posted: 4/12/2012 5:27:58 PM
If you do it, he will love it. Tell him what to do and what feels good to you, I promise there will be a positive outcome. Not only for him, for you but also for both of you. Jump!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

Is this a gender issue? Posted: 12/31/2011 6:58:38 PM
A friend should be supportive of a friend but realize there is more than just that side of the story. You have no idea what is going on between them, really. 'S' has created a situation where social interactions will be strained between his gf and his friends and such interactions will definitely dwindle now that the friend 'C' has contacted the gf. I think that's the larger issue than the gender thing although I will admit men and women are socialized very differently. If 'C' doesn't want to be totally written off to 'S', she will make nice with 'M', realize 'S' has flaws, be a sounding board to him and let him figure it out himself. No one should interfere in this manner, just be a friend.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 75 (view)

Yes I know that age is just supposed to be a number ... Posted: 12/7/2011 7:26:16 PM
There is someone waiting to get to know you whether you're 18 or 80. I don't care what the grey situation is, your future better half is ruminating about the same things. Is it easier when you're in your 20's? When you jump into something crazy that makes half sense as opposed to now when you do what you want for yourself? We all have thoughts of 'what if'. I wish I would have bought Microsoft stock...lol but it's time to take it by the balls now, move foward and grow yourself individually so you can bring that to the table when meeting a loser or a potential mate. If you can be happy with who you are now, at 40, 50, 60 whatever you will find something...whether it's a travel partner or a soul mate. Don't dwell and get out for your own happiness. The rest will find you.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Running out of things to talk about... Posted: 11/21/2011 9:32:06 PM
Just let it flow, this person may or may not be what you're looking for. You're pretty young so you likely aren't going to ask her what she thinks of the collapse of the Spanish markets but maybe you could ask her about things that interst you. Music, movies, tv, jobs, personal aspirations, something you've always wondered like what do dreams mean? Are they something that happens when you've been thinking about stuff too much or do they lead you to pursue something? Something like that...lol...maybe not so heavy. Has she ever been to such and such place? Has she ever seen such and such band live? Meeting will be much different. You will have so many ways to gauge if it's clicking. Relax.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Stay in her mind Posted: 11/21/2011 9:20:21 PM
Do you want it to progress? If so, let her know. Text her and see "Hi, how are you? Had a great time with you" goes. Then come back here for more wing.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Why do women do this? Posted: 11/21/2011 9:16:05 PM
1. The shoes will still fit if she gains a couple pounds 2. Because hearing 'Hey, you wore the same dress as I did...we're twins!' is a total drag. We go to a lot of trouble to light up the room. We could wear sweatpants and flip flops but it just wouldn't have the same affect, yes? Don't you want to be with someone that has nice, unique style?

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 107 (view)

Should i be insulted? Would you be? Posted: 9/6/2011 10:50:54 PM
You should not be insulted. She was being honest and I would feel the same way. Hard times are upon us all but when you ask for a loan from someone you've only been dating 6 months, she may be wondering if you are with her as a means of financial support. Whether you can support yourself or not, asking for this loan certainly would make me question a future. Personally, I can't believe you aren't asking if maybe you shouldn't have borrowed the money! Instead, you're on the fence of being insulted by her backing off. I'm sure you're a great guy and all but geez!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Review my Profile? Posted: 3/5/2010 11:35:20 PM
Nice start, I think when you get to the first date and start joking around about the girl taking you out...it's all lost. No matter how great you are, a girl wants to be asked out and treated like a lady in an old fashioned way. Believe me, this goes a long way. Other than that, some of the shows are lost on me as I'm in the US. Best of luck to you!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Profile revamp Posted: 3/5/2010 11:30:01 PM
I like the profile. Honest, Rubik's Cube stuff...lol...Yeah! Keep it real! You have great photos, the big thing I'm thinking of is that you're looking for friends? Huh? I'm just looking for friends too but I'm not doing a profile review. You're looking for a hottie, right? That would be a bone of contention for me. Otherwise, you seem like an interesting person with a lot of experiences, why not add more about that?

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

What am I doing wrong? Posted: 3/5/2010 11:23:04 PM
I admit I didn't read all the responses but the first date stuff...if it's a joke, this isn't the place right now. If it's for real..O M G! Do you really expect someone to respond???? I'm thinking troll right now so I wont even waste anymore keypad time. If something changes, I'll be all over it! Best of luck!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Bucket List Posted: 2/9/2010 8:21:21 PM
"YOU are the ones requesting it. WE just carry it around because it's attached" LOL! Touche!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

he disapeared and reapeared 2000miles away.... Posted: 2/8/2010 8:39:03 PM
Leave him alone and don't even worry about the reasons behind any of this. He blocked you. That's enough to back off. Let it be and move on.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Bucket List Posted: 2/8/2010 8:08:05 PM
Just some random ideas of things I want to do before I die: Learn to enjoy 40 minutes on a treadmill while watching a very skinny, middle-aged bald man work an exercise ball on the floor in front of me. Ignore Facebook friend requests from imaginary people Find one of the 43 chargers for my cell phone For one day, impress all my friends with my command of 1920’s vernacular using terms as “the bees knees” and “cat’s meow” Do something on Valentine’s Day besides getting drunk with my single, bitter friends at a pseudo-biker bar singing “Freebird” breaking into a wild chair dance when it goes from a slow, searing ballad to a hard rockin’ guitar rip, getting winded when I realize the song is longer and more boring than most Pink Floyd songs. Correct everyone that says “Valentimes Day” instead of Valentines Day Beat anyone who asks me “So whaddja do on Valentimes Day?” Own a “Staff” Tshirt Actually become a New Kids on the Block groupie instead of fantasizing about it Decide if it truly is ironic to have a black fly in my Chardonnay Build a blanket fort in my living room then invite a friend over and challenge him to a duel Try a Crumpet Install rollbars in my Corolla Grow a penis for just one day to see what all the hubbub is about Spend three months exercising and dieting, getting my body into optimum shape, and then spend the next three months eating frozen Pepperidge Farm cakes and napping on the porch, getting my body back to normal. Lose all my money gambling in Las Vegas. Wait, I've already done that Meet the Pope. Or somebody on the Pope's first string team, the Cardinals. Or at least the Cardinal's waterboy Dirty Dance. But this time not because I accidentally lost control of a tube top in the Eighties

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 95 (view)

If you like it then you should have put a ring on it. Posted: 2/4/2010 2:00:42 AM
Where is OP? Some people still believe in that old fashioned institution. It's a value similar to what schools to send the kids to, and if sports are important to the kids' well being. Marriage ties us together, makes a stronger commitment. Another argument is that it binds us to suffocation. The original question is a one of fundamental value. If one wants marriage and the other doesn't, isn't it the same as if one wants kids and the other doesn't? I have to disagree with the fairytale analogy though, I think it's more of a tradition; similar to Thanksgiving but not Santa. We do it because we like the Turkey but not because we pretend there's a fat guy coming down the chimmney.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

should I be resentful over the little things? Posted: 2/4/2010 1:35:37 AM
HA! CHW...when we hit 40, we take what we can get...LOL! Thanks though!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Be my SUPERHERO of the day and RATE MY PROFILE! :) Posted: 2/4/2010 1:27:55 AM
Well... Your profile name is beerwagon....sigh I like the unorthodoxed profile but it really tells me nothing about you. Why not try answering some of the questions, then leave some of them open? The pics are ok but I would want to hear about you more. What do you want in a woman? Aspirations? What would you do on a date? Tell me more about your interests. Humor goes a long way. Talk about New Orleans, why do you like it? Chicory coffee? Do you climb? Hike? Yosemite? Why is that special? Paint a picture in words about you. Sometimes it helps to have a friend describe you. Good luck!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 57 (view)

When do I let go??? Posted: 2/4/2010 1:16:47 AM
You will end up resenting him. Maybe tomorrow, maybe 20 years from now but either way, if you allow this, I guarantee, this won't end up good. Better to realize this now while you obviously have a doubt than 20 years from now. You will click better with someone who will allow you to have friends...male or female. You need to have your own life and you will still 'click' with someone else...believe this! The amazing in him will fall to the wayside when you're sheltered and isolated. Time to deal with this or let go. Best of luck!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

should I be resentful over the little things? Posted: 2/4/2010 1:05:52 AM
Awwww...honey...you need to pick the battles. If this were your best friend, would you be pissed about the steak thing? You probably wouldn't even think about it. Give it some slack and accept some things. Do not expect perfection and do NOT allow yourself to be walked over but realize he may be accepting of your shortfalls more readily. Sometimes, we have to put meaning into every little action when it's just surface thinking and not deep thinking...not generalizing men here but it's early in the relationshp. Give it some time and space, relax, enjoy the bragging, waiting. Sounds like a good thing! I have not read all the responses but I see you're young...when you're old like me, you know what's important and what to let go. Look at your 'little things' also. Best wishes!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Okay...let me have it! Posted: 1/16/2010 9:44:34 PM
I really liked your profile. This is something I would have no problem responding to because you have great pics which shows a variety of interests and your profile has some interesting anecdotes ( I LOVE Belgian wheat beer!) You have a lot of good, specific things women can easily engage you in an opening email. I guess if I were forced to make a suggestion, you seem to be witty, use it more in the profile. Good job and best of luck!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

when is too much, too much? Posted: 1/16/2010 9:38:20 PM
Very interesting profile. If you contacted me, I know I'd have many things to respond with. Personally, I like a creative list with some wit and it tells us something about you. Here's my problem (or yours...) I can't get past PETITES ONLY If that's what you want and cannot imagine a woman having all the qualities you search for if it didn't come in that package, it's your perrogative but...if I were looking at a potential date, I wouldn't get beyond that. Your idea of petite and a womans idea of petite may be entirley different. By putting it at the top of the list, it comes off as being paramount and a petite woman (or any woman) could see it as superficial or even insulting. Next, you need more pics. Good pics. Smiling, doing an activity, showing us you can have a good time. Best of luck!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

running out of ideas... Posted: 1/10/2010 5:06:21 PM
You have an 'eclectic' taste in music. I liked all the pics except for the main profile pic. Consider changing? The 'about you' section is funny. Maybe consider that as an opening paragraph somehow. I was always a sucker for humor. They say if you can make someone laugh, you can make them do anything. Get rid of slim tall brunettes. You never know what a really awesome girl is going to look like and you're not only limiting yourself but also forcing women to fit into your ideal. Many women have different ideas of slim, tall, brunette that you may. Open it up...you never know what could happen! Good luck!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Profile Review Posted: 1/10/2010 4:35:58 PM
I agree with the above poster. Your profile tells me about the kind of person you are and I'd want to know that before contacting you. The profile is very positive and you seem to have a wide range of interests. Humor is always good imo, maybe you could incorporate more humor? Just a suggestion. I also agree that you need better pics, I liked the 2nd one better than the first...you look too techie. Maybe not a bad thing for some but I think you can do better. I also like the fact that what you're looking for isn't so specific. Women (ok...me) tend to try and fit into what you want, figure we aren't what you want, bail. Best of luck!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

review my profile please? Posted: 1/4/2010 8:59:52 PM
I liked your profile and I was going to hit you with the separated thing right off. Personally, I would be more apt to give you a chance if you addressed that in the profile but keep it light, short, and definitely positive. "Things don't work out sometimes...amicable divorce going on...ready to move on" you get the drift but make it clear there is NO drama. If you do get a convo going with someone, this will likely be a topic. They'll appreciate you being up front. Good luck!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Request Profile Review Posted: 1/4/2010 8:50:58 PM
I think your pics are great! Very interesting and you look like you can have fun. The profile is nice and intelligent, I wouldn't have anything to add here. Intro notes...you seem smart enough to know to read the profile of the woman and make a comment on a point of interest or commonality. Keep it short, I always liked to see a sense of humor and a positive attitude...who doesn't?? Best of luck!!!!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Profile review please~hopefully not a repeat? Posted: 1/4/2010 8:43:52 PM
I also wanted to comment on this, hopefully someone can add to it; "hate nebulous maybes and meaningless mind games" To me, this is a sad fact of online dating. It's a given. I hate it, everyone hates it but when you state this in a profile, it makes you sound jaded. If you can approach the POF experience by not taking things personally and maintaining a positive attitude, you'll stay sane! Good luck to you!

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Profile review please~hopefully not a repeat? Posted: 1/4/2010 8:39:27 PM
I'm reading your profile wondering if you have time away from gaming for dating! Lose the last pic. It's scary. You say you like to read, do you really need a pic of it? Minions? Ultimate power? I know you say you like dark stuff but unless you're trying to attract Elvira, I'd go a little easy on that. Grammar and punctuation needs a bit cleaning up. Personally, I like the fact that you're a landscaper and you describe it intelligently.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Could use some feedback Posted: 1/4/2010 8:01:02 PM
I agree...it seems most men cook better than me these days, go with it! Awesome profile pic and nice text but the car thing...maybe you prefer to live off the grid a little as opposed to being broke??? Maybe instead of saying "nerdy" for the girl you're looking for, how about describing nerdy and see how that works? Just a suggestion.

mccrackin15

Joined: 12/30/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Any advice on my profile Posted: 1/4/2010 7:54:13 PM
One bit of advice thrown my way in the past is to post a full body shot. On the text, consider taking out the indecisive part (signals flake) and maybe break up the text into a couple paragraphs. I'm new to the forums but old to the online dating scene. Hope it helps, good luck!

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