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 Author Thread: Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 182 (view)
 
Nobody's Perfect - What's Wrong with YOU?
Posted: 2/26/2011 3:45:57 AM
Your right, nobody is perfect. I can't stand it when I hear someone say "no excess baggage," everyone has "excess baggage" or they would not be here trying to find someone new. These people think they are above everyone else when actually they do not take the time out to really get to know the other person. Who knows their excess baggage might have been dumped into their laps. First people need to stop judging someone, get to know them first before making decisions.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 85 (view)
 
What stops a man from cheating?
Posted: 2/26/2011 3:38:51 AM
I believe anyone who cheats is not being honest and respectful in their relationship. My ex told me everyday that he loved me and the day I caught him cheating I was in shock. I never knew he was not happy, no communication. He wasn't honest with himself in the first place, what he did to me he also did to his first wife. To answer your question: Integrity
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 84 (view)
 
What stops a man from cheating?
Posted: 2/26/2011 3:32:49 AM
Remember President Clinton, did he cheat? YES, it wasn't with his wife so it is considered cheating.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 287 (view)
 
A real woman
Posted: 2/26/2011 3:26:59 AM
A real woman would accept the way she looked without having to have botox, boob job, whatever. Some men want their fanticies fullfilled, is that a relationship? To me, it is a turn off. I think women that are not satisfied with their looks have a low self esteem. Everyone including men we all can work on ourselves by making improvements by eating better, exercising, and respecting one another.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 234 (view)
 
Looks will fade, then what?
Posted: 2/26/2011 3:18:13 AM
You might be surprised at what you find if you look beyond the physical beauty. As the saying goes you can't judge a book by its cover. I used to have a nice figure but after kids it spread out some but it has not interfered with me meeting people. Just think there might be someone judging you too.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 37 (view)
 
What Am I Doing Wrong?????
Posted: 12/30/2010 3:13:45 PM
I have noticed that there are a lot of negative people on this site. I am on another dating site Tags, free and have not problems dating.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Arrange a date then disappear??
Posted: 12/19/2010 4:29:30 PM
I have had this happen to me too. I met him once and after that I would occasionally hear from him then he would disappear then come back. I decided to move on and this man gets in contact with me again. I have no idea why he does this but I guess it is a game with him. I also found out a few things that he neglected to tell me. He is on my facebook and I noticed he responded to one of his female friends and when I saw her name she is why I am divorced from my husband. I caught my husband cheating with this female almost to the day three years ago. I've decided to move on I don't want anything more to do with him since she is in the picture. Just my luck, I live in a large city and of all the people it would have to be her.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 261 (view)
 
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 11/21/2010 10:43:25 AM
Hey Doofus, if it is ok for you to have been around the block, what about those females you had sex with? You didn't think about that, did you? Double Standards. If a man hold high regards for the woman's sex life maybe he should look at his own first. When I meet a judgemental man I then look at his history and question if he is worth it or not. If she is faithful to you while in a relationship, what is the problem? Will you be faithful to her in the end?
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 75 (view)
 
When do I let go???
Posted: 11/21/2010 10:21:27 AM
I would leave, he is too controlling. My first husband constantly called checking up with me (luckily this was before cell phones, if I had a cell phone then it would be turned off) when I was at my parent's or one of his family's house he would call constantly. If I went shopping he made me take all three of the kids with me all under the age of four. This is a man that had cheated on me while I was pregnant.

Last year I was dating a man that was jealous of my male friends I have been friends with for a couple of years since my divorce. It was ok for him to continue to have female friends and I knew this would not work out.

It doesn't sound like you two are clicking completely, if you were, there would be TRUST in the relationship.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 64 (view)
 
2 alcoholics in a relationship.... what happens?
Posted: 11/15/2010 1:20:23 PM
I forgot to add that when someone drinks a lot that a lot of cheating goes on.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 63 (view)
 
2 alcoholics in a relationship.... what happens?
Posted: 11/15/2010 1:18:23 PM
If two people were both alcoholics, from my experience living with one, I would say there would be a lot of verbal and physical abuse, bills not being paid, cars wrecked or no longer having a car. Nothing in the refrigerator to eat because all of the money is going for alcohol. Lack of cleanliness and depending how much they drank sometimes a bath wouldn't help the odor because the alcohol would seep though their pores. The house would be trashed with the remains of the bottles of alcohol, filthy living conditions.
Yes, I do know of a couple that managed to stay together, my exes grandparents they would argue a lot when drinking excessively.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 136 (view)
 
Have you ever asked out a guy? How often do you do that?
Posted: 11/15/2010 1:05:05 PM
Of course I have. I am also another fossil (from another response) and I have found if I don't ask nothing will happen. I used to belong to another dating site where we had dances, I asked many men to the dances. You have to put yourself out there and like another person said, if the man does not respond, it is time to move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea, problem is catching the right one.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 149 (view)
 
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 11/9/2010 10:18:34 PM
It depends...One man I talked to last year we talked for two months before meeting, reason why, I was sick with the flu for a month. I ended up becoming bored with him.
Another man I had been talking to a man since July occasionally and then in September chatting and met and started dating at the end of September and found out last week he was a recovering alcoholic and started back drinking. Too bad, I really liked him.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 188 (view)
 
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 11/9/2010 10:04:32 PM
If she really cared for you, she would have accepted your child. Too bad she is narrow minded.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 41 (view)
 
how do you feel about your age.
Posted: 11/9/2010 9:59:54 PM
I live is scrubs, jeans and tops. I rarely wear a dress and heals. What changes with me is my hairstyle going from long to short and now I am letting my hair grow out again.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Friending an ex on facebook
Posted: 11/9/2010 9:54:05 PM
I also have trust issues with my both exes when we were married and I have ex #1 as a friend. We have been divorced over 17 years and he is finally sober and knew he messed up. I also have both families and extended family and I have probably pissed off ex #2 by being friends with his sisters, daughter and his ex #1. The key word is friends. She is in love with you and not with her ex. One guy I dated, he was upset I was friends with both of my exes families, he shouldn't have, I am not in love with my exes now but still care for family members. Being jealous is not good unless you actually have proof.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 128 (view)
 
Why do guys expect intimacy so suddenly?
Posted: 11/4/2010 10:45:06 PM
I am in my fifties and this is happening more often. I went out with this one guy and we never held hands, kissed, or even touched one another but he thinks since we met I should allow him to see my boobs. He says it is a man's thing to want sex first in order to see if it is worth it or not to have a relationship. Needless to say, we never made it to any kind of relationship, WHEW, THANK-GOODNESS.
Another guy I just met grabbed me and kissed me right off the bat then critizes me because I am 50 pounds over weight and if I wanted to be with him I should lose the weight. He asked me out for a second date and as he was driving I found out he had other plans of just having sex. I am not with him either.
I am at the point of giving up meeting a decent, respectable man that will treat me with respect and I have settled in the past, and I will not settle again.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Instant turn offs, legitimate gripe or just nitpicking
Posted: 11/4/2010 10:27:26 PM
One thing I put down on mine is age restrictions about 45 through 60 but I still have received 20/30 somethings. I still consider them and try to get to know them but most fizzle out except for one. This young man is my daughter's age, age 32 nice looking and we have been talking to one another for about 3 months, never met in person. I asked him why and his response was because he found me attractive. I don't know, I am old enough to be his mother.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Chances a relationship can work that started as an affair?
Posted: 11/4/2010 9:37:07 PM
I wouldn't want to take a chance of him cheating on me. Been through men cheating, painful.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 324 (view)
 
Would you marry a bisexual woman/man?
Posted: 11/4/2010 9:33:32 PM
No, I would not marry a bi-sexual man.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Six months all down the drain?
Posted: 11/4/2010 1:34:24 PM
You can't change someone only yourself. Start by becoming your own best friend getting to know yourself, learning to love yourself so you can love someone in the future. When a relationship ends try to take what you have learned to improve on your next relationship.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 1075 (view)
 
What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 11/4/2010 1:12:34 PM
This happens to all of us to both men and women. I was in a relationship recently and believed he was truely interested in me we talked every night and I took my profile off but he continued to keep his active. He started going through a disappearring act saying he was sick the first time. The second time we were to go to a dinner together and I could not get ahold of him so I figured he was no longer interested in me and found someone else. This guy in his profile stated he was honest, to me, he was not honest and could have told me he was not interested instead of me wondering if he is ok or whatever?
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 113 (view)
 
Dumped again I cant take much more.
Posted: 11/4/2010 9:42:33 AM
This happens to a lot of us. What I usually do is have one moping day then move on leaving everything in the past. In fact, I am doing so now. I went out with this man a few times and had a good time with him on Halloween (or so I thought) and he was supposed to go to a dinner with me last night and I could not get a hold of him, no response with IM, email, phone, or text so I figured he wasn't man enough to let me know he was not interested, so I am picking of the pieces and moving on again. Don't let this get you down, take it as a learning experience.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 93 (view)
 
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 10/28/2010 2:39:22 PM
One guy in particular I met the first year I was divorced and found him disgusting talking about my tits. The second time a year later we had forgotten about our previous dating and I was still disgusted with him. This year we talked on line not knowing it was him again and found him interesting on line until we met and the same topic came up about my tits and when was he going to see them. He has never seen them and he will never will. His physical appearance is something of a disappointment dirty eye-glasses, stains on his shirt, loud, extremely over weight and smells, his teeth are disgusting. Needless to say I have never kissed or hugged, I kept my distance. I pissed him off and now he considers me a physco bit--. I don't care, he could be a perv.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Are you buying into the hype?
Posted: 10/28/2010 2:26:58 PM
As you can see I have no picture meaning that I took my picture off and taking a break from searching on this site. I have met someone on another site but enjoy the forum to vent about the topic.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 39 (view)
 
No relationship for 6 years & no job
Posted: 10/28/2010 2:15:58 PM
I agree finish getting your education but it does no harm to to continue socializing.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 38 (view)
 
No relationship for 6 years & no job
Posted: 10/28/2010 2:13:55 PM
I have met a few men that were unemployed and all but one are now gainfully employed. The man I am seeing we started talking a little back in July, at that time I didn't know he was unemployed due to layoffs until we were steadily talking. I would remain friends with him even if he was not employed. It was not his fault that he was laid off, if he had been fired that would be another story. As for not dating for six years, it is up to each individual as to when they think they are ready to be out in the dating field.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 38 (view)
 
was this true love?
Posted: 10/28/2010 1:57:26 PM
True love is when someone cares for each other they work out their problems together. True love is when people do not put down the other or stray from the relationship.
True love is RESPECT for one another and being HONEST.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 39 (view)
 
So is he just sleeping around/cheating on me?
Posted: 10/28/2010 1:42:53 PM
I wouldn't get totally invested in the relationship yet. First of all did you have sex right away? If you did shame on you another notch on his belt. I would wait until you knew him better before jumping into bed with him and especially long distance maybe longer. If he really cares for you he would wait. I have had some men say it is a man's thing to want sex on the first date to see if it is worth it. Well, for women it is worth waiting to see if the man is really worth it. If a man wants sex on the first date it is like FWB. It is up to you on how you want to be treated. I have had guys that said the same thing wanting me off the market but if they are not why should I? This guy needs to be up front with you if not send him to the curb.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 71 (view)
 
WHY DO MEN LIE TO GET A WOMAN TO FALL IN LOVE
Posted: 10/27/2010 8:33:23 AM
My opinion is their idea of relationship is only sexual and once they get what they want they disappear. I think it is a conquest to see how many women they can have sex with and telling the women anything to get what they want. I love it when a man says he wants honesty and he isn't.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Is Allowing another Woman in the Bedroom a Good thing if your Man Asked ?
Posted: 10/27/2010 8:24:10 AM
For me the answer is NO. It would be a huge slap in the face. How would a man like it if we wanted another Man in the Bedroom?
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 219 (view)
 
Do FWB relationships ever lead to something deeper?
Posted: 10/27/2010 8:21:23 AM
I have had FWB and it was great. I moved on when I found someone wanting a relationship but learned that the FWB was in love with me but couldn't commit to a relationship. I have met many men that say they want a relationship but actually wanting FWB only.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 63 (view)
 
drama kings, FILFERs and burdens
Posted: 10/9/2010 9:42:23 AM
I have no desire to be a man's conquest - in other words a notch added to his belt to just have sex. I put down serious relationship and I think many men see this as an opportunity to have a sexual relationship, not me. I have found very few decent men that are looking for the same type of relationship I am. I want the whole package.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 62 (view)
 
drama kings, FILFERs and burdens
Posted: 10/9/2010 9:36:45 AM
I just met this man about two weeks ago and had our first meet and greet. I learned he is in a complicated relationship (meaning he is separated) - Red Flag. He continued to call and told me that if I wanted to be with him I would have to lose weight? - Red Flag. He is the one that contacted me? Yesterday I received a phone call that he needed his badges sewn onto his uniforms (he is in the military). I told him I haven't sewn in years and mentioned to him to find a seamtress or tailor that would do the job. I had made plans to go out with my sister and he got mad about that saying he was heading towards my place. (he knew the area but not my address) I told him I didn't know you were coming over (I really don't think it would have been a date but a quickie) I don't think so. I dumped him over the phone and have no regrets. We would have clashed. I would classify him as a Drama King.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 150 (view)
 
Her busy Schedule
Posted: 9/11/2010 10:22:41 AM
I work the night shift and go to college but I make time for people. Do they make time for me? NO. I work 7 nights on and 7 nights off and it seems to me I only get asked out on the nights I have to work which is not fair to me. When I am off I am rarely asked out so I keep busy doing my own thing, I refuse to sit back and wait for any man.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Your baseline to define romantic love
Posted: 9/11/2010 10:11:40 AM
Good for you ReBluez, I understand why you asked the question unlike browneyesboo. I have often wondered about what others thought about relationships. There are many different answers for relationships I have found out.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Your baseline to define romantic love
Posted: 9/11/2010 10:02:05 AM
I know what my idea of romantic love would be: Caring for someone you love by protecting them, making sure their needs are met emotionally and physically. Showing and speaking endearments. Spending quality time together. Laughing and crying together. Able to communicate in a reasonable manner.

Recently I went out with this guy and the whole time we have never held hands, hugged, kissed, or touched one another but his idea of romance was for me to show him my breasts. His heigene was something else and I didn't want him to touch me in the first place. Needless to say I did not, I was totally disgusted with him. His text messages were no better and I stopped answering him. He then asked why? Why? I listed the reasons why and so far I have not heard back from him, probably won't either, no love loss there. This would have to be the second worst dates I have ever been on.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 36 (view)
 
why are men not upfront about liking you or not liking you
Posted: 9/11/2010 9:28:16 AM
I have learned never to get my hopes up about meeting someone. Yes, I would love to find someone but there are no gaurantees. With my experience I have been told I am sexy, I don't have any pictures displaying my body parts like many women do. It seems many men say they want a relationship but their idea of relationship is only sexual, mine is much more like really getting to know someone's personality. I think men are only out for the conquest of how many women they can bed. It seems that men are always looking for the greener pastures then realize what they had was what they really want but by that time I have moved on with my life. I don't know how many times I think I have found the right guy but then he moves to another then after a while he wants me back. By that time I feel rejected and I don't want nothing more to do with him.
My motto is when it takes a man too long to decide "You snooze, you loose".
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 35 (view)
 
why are men not upfront about liking you or not liking you
Posted: 9/11/2010 9:05:03 AM
I have the same problem. I go out with a man like last week we went out to eat and then talked for 5 hours. He still sends me emails saying he is interested but that is it. If the man is really interested he better not wait too long, I move on thinking he is not really interested. Maybe the reason is I did not put out on the first date.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 457 (view)
 
Dating within' your League
Posted: 7/7/2010 5:16:26 PM
Talk to as many women as possible, who knows, you might find that special someone.
I tried dating a man recently and I guess he thought I was out of his league (lawyer type) oh well. I continue to talk to as many men as possible until I find one that I click with. There will be a lot of dry spells but there will be times when you might have to squeeze them in.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Getting back with the Ex
Posted: 7/7/2010 5:07:35 PM
My ex husband and I have been divorced 17 years because he was an alcoholic. Now, he has stopped drinking and wants to date me again. I feel he is living in the past because of the questions he has asked me. I feel his life stopped about the time his heavy drinking began. I am now friends with him but I can't say that I am in love with him or want to continue where we left off.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 142 (view)
 
I am getting tired of meeting women with low self-esteem!!!
Posted: 7/7/2010 5:02:27 PM
Men expect women to be Goddesses. Women are supposed to have the perfect weight and height and wear a size 2. Get Real. I have found many men want the woman to fulfill their fantasies by wearing dresses and high heels. Many women when married have taken the back seat when it comes to taking care of themselves because they are taking care of the children and do not have enough time.
With me, I gained weight because of stress when my ex lost his job. He then told me I was too fat for him and I would not be able to find anyone else. With my second husband I learned he was cheating and I thought it was because of my weight, I was wrong, I did not weigh enough.
Now, I am in the process of losing the weight and going back to school. After a divorce people need to learn to love themselves before they can love another. Divorce is like a death, you have to go through the healing process.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 54 (view)
 
It was my birthday but I get in trouble because I didn't acknowledge my wife?
Posted: 7/7/2010 4:40:40 PM
As the saying goes you can't change someone neither of you. Sounds like you picked the wrong person to marry. Since she forgot your birthday forget hers? That is not the correct way of handling this maybe sit down and have a discussion with her, not argueing about how you felt.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Is it worth it?
Posted: 7/7/2010 4:32:36 PM
You have to do what is best for you. If he really cares for you he will be around, if not, a better one will be around the corner.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 30 (view)
 
would moving out of the city help cope with heart break?
Posted: 7/2/2010 10:44:49 AM
Moving does not solve the problem it follows you where ever you go. I moved across town for a fresh start but still had to deal with the issues. I am glad I did move a new beginning to a new chapter in my life.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 42 (view)
 
why are people so busy?
Posted: 7/2/2010 10:35:39 AM
I work the grave yard shift seven on and seven off and many men frown upon that. My second ex cheated on me while I was at work and moved in with his fling. Back then I worked six on and eight off, I guess that was too much for him. I recently dated a man at the time I was working days but was put on nights again by my boss and he complained about that. I asked him are you willing to support me and of course his answer was no. I have to work to support myself. If I met someone I really cared for and he worked nights and I worked days there are ways to work around the conflicting schedules. I think today many people are selfish not caring about the other person.
I know from experience that it is frowned upon for women to work the evening, early morning shift starting around 4am, and grave yard which I have done all three. With my line of work those are the only options. If I care about someone, I make time to be with that person. Right now, my life is busy working the night shift and going to college but I still would make time for someone but would they make time for me?
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Is marriage a burden or a blessing?
Posted: 7/2/2010 10:10:36 AM
When I was growing up my mom had me start a "hope chest" which is getting ready for when I am married. My sister and I were both married before the age of twenty. Her marriage lasted about ten years while mine lasted sixteen. She was married to a cheater and I was married to an alcoholic and cheater. At that time I did not believe in divorce because divorce was still frowned upon but not as bad as it used to be. My sister never re-married and I married again and divorced and now I view marriage differently. I feel today marriage is a throw away society, when you get tired of someone, cheat, abuse, and not going to counseling, but divorcing. When someone marries it is a legal contract that in todays standard is worthless because marriage is not respected anymore. I am not thrilled with the choices of men from bums to know it alls, the choices are limited. I am finding out men think it is a game to see how many women will go to bed with them. The good men are hard to find. Now, I have no problems being single but it would be nice to have a good man in my life. Earlier this week I went out with a man and all he did was talk about himself, he did not ask me one question. Well, at least my first ex knows he messed up and now wants me back after 17 years of being divorced, he asked me out on a date yesterday, but do I want him back? I have a feeling he is living in the past. I have a male friend, we have known each other since we both were separated over two years ago and are now both divorced. I rarely see him but we talk almost daily. He is rough around the edges and would probably be frowned upon by many but he is a good man. Many people judge someone by how they look, maybe look deeper inside to really know someone.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 276 (view)
 
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/20/2010 3:28:19 AM
I talked to one man for months and we planned on meeting but never did....it was a waste of time.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 275 (view)
 
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/20/2010 3:27:00 AM
I have tried it both ways and meeting someone asap is a better way of moving on if it is not a match instead of dragging it on and on by email then discovering this is not the person for you. Just make sure you meet in a public place and let a friend or family member know your whereabouts.
 nu2010
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 116 (view)
 
How Easily Can You Detect Red Flags
Posted: 6/20/2010 3:13:19 AM
After my second marriage and some of the men I have dated briefly I will be more aware of the "Red Flags" when I am dating someone.
When a man vanishes then reappears...wanting to date you again...RED FLAG
When the man will not talk about his past, why his relationships ended....RED FLAG. (If he has nothing to be ashamed of like cheating, not paying child support, alimony, not paying his taxes, excessive drinking & DUI, use of drugs, etc).
When you date a man then he quits his job and wants you to support him....RED FLAG
When a man is controlling or extremely passive....RED FLAG
When a man wants "you" to change the hours you work and quit taking college classes to improve yourself because it interferes with seeing him.....RED FLAG (If he is the man for you, he would want you to succeed).
The list goes on and on..........as you can see I have met a lot of JERKS.
 
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