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AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 19 (view)

The Catfish Posted: 1/30/2013 10:58:20 PM
...that is why I prefer to date people that live close enough for us to meet If you are not meeting someone face to face, you are not dating. All those other people you exchange messages and texts with - you are not dating them. People ask "how do you deal with fakes?" You don't. End of story. If you went to the grocer's and found fake fruit in the produce department, how do you deal with that? You don't. You see it's fake, you walk away. How do you deal with empty boxes or damaged merchandise? Again - you don't "deal with it". You see it's damaged and you leave it alone. There is no "dealing". What, do you expect to repair the packaging or something? Move on. Ditto for "fake" profiles. When you see enough that doesn't add up, you just stop answering messages, stop looking at the profile, STOP altogether. There is no "dealing". What are going to do - demand details about the REAL person behind the FAKE profile? Do you really expect to get the truth the second time around? It's ridiculous. You don't "deal" with any of that - you just STOP and leave it alone. Oh - but what if they ask for a date and cancel, or don't show up, or make an excuse? What did I say? STOP and leave it alone. You don't need to write an article and publish - get out and get away from people who do such things.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 16 (view)

Kissy Face Photo's Posted: 1/29/2013 11:59:01 PM
I want to announce a Kissy Face Bathroom Photo with Toilet Seat Up and Over-Flash contest, but I cannot start threads. My evil past has come to keep me from creating such nonsense as threads based on things I want to rant about. So I will just have to keep a mental note on who has the most inspirational and artistic phone-cam reverse-image never-edited pics on POF. Sure got lots of entries, that's for sure. Bonus for toothpaste splatter.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 3 (view)

Feeling it one date, not the next Posted: 1/29/2013 11:51:00 PM
You didn't feel it? Next time take her to a drive-in for more privacy. The point of taking a woman to the movies is precisely so that you can FEEL IT and in the midst of a 100 witnesses there is the thrill of being caught for both of you. If she was pushing your hands away the whole time, sure, toss her number! If you didn't even TRY, she should be tossing YOUR number away! No guts, no glory. Would you invite her to join you in a hot tub and not take off your trunks? Are you dead?

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 11 (view)

can you understand my situation? Posted: 1/29/2013 3:54:00 PM
Today my mind is so warped that I'm symptomatic of 6 mental disorders excluding the one that I started with Forget the drugs, THIS is what will keep people away - ALL people, men, women, children, EVERYONE. Nobody likes crazy. No society on Earth tolerates crazy. When you cannot make yourself understood. When you defy all logic, emotion, and convention of human society - people will not tolerate your presence. STOP THE CRAZY. Your number one priority.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 19 (view)

need help MEN please.. Posted: 1/28/2013 11:16:46 PM
Invite him to bring over his XBOX and live on your sofa. After three kids, he will move out and take the truck and the ice cooler with him, but not all his dirty clothes. Will you let him go then? Or will you let him have 2 or 3 FWBs on the side to keep him warming the sofa and screaming for another beer? If you want LOVE, buy a dog. Read the profile of all the Single, Independent, Successful, Rather-be-alone-than-with-a-jerk profiles here on POF. 80% of these women have dogs. Dogs that give them tongue and body heat without question. They are in no rush to ruin that set-up by letting some out-of-work bum sleep on their couch.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 13 (view)

Have you ever been falsely accused. Posted: 1/28/2013 11:06:56 PM
I was once accused of cheating by a gf who played a voicemail on the land-line phone to the house. In the voicemail, a woman says she is upset a meeting did not happen, and there was a need to reschedule, so call her. She never said her Name, When/Where the missed meeting was, Who she expected to meet (no name was mentioned in the voicemail), What the meeting was about, or When was a good time to reschedule. To me it sounded like someone leaving a voicemail after dialing a wrong number. To the gf it was "evidence" of something going on. I told her to call the woman who left the message (but no number to call) and sort it out with her or to call the phone company to find out who it was. As for what my gf might say to this mystery caller: "I don't care, because I don't know who it is." I have no energy for such things. If someone want to ruin my life, they can do it easily without waiting for vague phone calls or secret letters addressed to "occupant".

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 102 (view)

Hard to believe this behavior in men over 50.. Posted: 1/28/2013 6:58:00 PM
Geesh,, Is there one man out there that wants to wake up and like the person in the morning ,, besides liking her for a day because she put out? What makes you think he doesn't like you? Sure he likes you, he just doesn't love you. He doesn't want to be at your beck and call when you're bored and lonely and want someone to hold your shopping bags. He's not worried about waking up alone in bed, or dying alone at the side of a dusty road. Those things do not matter to him at all. But, sure, he likes you. He likes sex more. Why is this hard to believe. Most women love their dogs more than any man. Why is it hard to believe a man might like something more than you?

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 10 (view)

Ambivalence Posted: 1/28/2013 6:40:32 PM
"A guy who knows what he wants." is a mis-statement. It does NOT mean what it states. When a woman says this, what she really means is "A guy who knows what "I" want." They are expressing disappointment that the guy did not fulfill their dreams, create the world they wanted, whether they told him what that world was like or not. The bottom line is the guy pursued his OWN dreams and passions rather then HERs. The guy KNOWS what he wants. The bummer is that is ISN'T what these women want, and they are shocked to learn he wanted something different all along. They though he married her to fulfill HER dreams, not his OWN. When a guy breaks away to pursue his OWN passions - women respond by saying "He does not know what he wants. He does not know all he wants is right here. He changed his mind." NO - NO - NO He knows what he wants, and decided that you were not going to GIVE it to him, or even ALLOW him to have it by any means. So to get what he wants, he LEFT. The only truth is that YOU don't know what he wants. Is it sad? Sure.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 19 (view)

Woman Think It's Cute. Men? Not so much. Posted: 1/28/2013 5:54:35 PM
- Pink fuzzy sweatsuits & sweatpants that say "LOVE PINK" on you ass. - Sports gear when you are not at a sporting event. Why do guys get a pass on wearing sports clothes 24/7 ? Because guys TALK sports 24/7. - Giant-sized costume jewelry or earrings that stretch your lobes. Over-sized sunglasses that cover half your face. Over-sized hats that cover half of Texas. Surprisingly - BIG HAIR is quite alright - even today. - Eyebrows shaved and penciled in. Eyebrows trimmed into a menacing arch or angle that makes you look forever angry. - Glitter all over your ta-tas if you are not a stripper and naked. - Sports bra subbing for swimwear. Panties and lace thongs subbing for swimwear. Anything other than cut-off jeans subbing for swimwear. - Spray-on orange Oompa-Loompa tan. Any tan that doesn't cover area around eyes, creating the inverse-racoon look. ....do you want me to stop?

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 7 (view)

No one interested? Posted: 1/27/2013 3:24:20 PM
I didn't read the novel you posted on your profile. You're pics told a story and that stopped me cold. The pics said "Join this pack of dogs and sniff trees and sweat all day." Not the environment I'd like to hang out in. Average Joes like me do not look forward to an evening of being told to "get in shape" and then handed a mini broom and pan to clean up after the dogs. Nah - Average Joe will pass. As will Mr. Business suit. Mr. I-live-in-my-pickup might see it as an upgrade, though...but he's not so good with writing or talking. Yeah - profile review is in order.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 6 (view)

what can he never be upfront Posted: 1/27/2013 11:39:54 AM
You knew he was married for THREE FRICKIN' YEARS and now you have the nerve to complain that he's not upfront? Ok, Dorothy, it's time to click your ruby two-shoes and come back to Kansas. I'm wondering how often in those three years you were UPFRONT with his WIFE about your conversations....? Operator....the phone call seems to have been cut off--------

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 12 (view)

If there any point in me carrying on with this? Posted: 1/27/2013 11:34:40 AM
No Vision. No Future. No Goals. Men are focused on the benefits of NOW. Women are focused on the benefits of the FUTURE. Will you be stable in the future? Do you have goals that you are working towards RIGHT THIS MINUTE? What are you doing NOW to achieve those goals? If you don't show any kind of POTENTIAL and EFFORT to become financially stable and secure - you are just a fart in the wind. Are you telling women how your efforts RIGHT NOW are securing your FUTURE?

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 5 (view)

Help from a woman's point of view: Posted: 1/26/2013 10:23:03 PM
No such thing as "too open". By saying this, you are trying to assign your failure and disappointment to factors your can't control. "the honest truth" "just being honest" "being real" - no matter how you try to make it sound like it's someone else's fault for not being able to accept honesty, the bottom like is this: THEY DON'T LIKE YOU. If they like you, it does not matter if you're as silent as a stone golem or a chatterbox - you will still have their attention. Any way you slice it, this is a "nice guy" post. Any post that claims "I can take "no" for an answer" is a "nice guy" post. Obviously you can't take "no", because you are here whining about all the "no"s you get. You are trying to make the argument that you are "too nice" to be told "no". NO ONE IS TOO NICE to be told to GET LOST. People like you or they don't - whining about it doesn't change the minds of those who don't like you. What can you do? Post clear pictures of your face and body. Smile, stand up straight. Show some kind of activity outside the house. Be physically clean and wear clothing that isn't in tatters or dirty. Write in full sentences. And the biggie that most people FAIL at: TALK ABOUT YOURSELF. No one wants to hear another sob story of how life isn't fair. Tell us how you BEAT the odds and create wins for yourself and friends. Tell us how you turn lemons into lemonade. Stop measuring yourself against some woman's checklist - she will always have a dozen more items to disqualify you if she wants. Give her some info to work with so she doesn't have to GUESS what kind of person you are. "Just ask me and I'll tell you" is not a description. It's worthless. What am I, a blind man describing an elephant? TALK ABOUT YOURSELF.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 6 (view)

Sending messages Posted: 1/26/2013 7:31:46 PM
Stop copy/pasting garbage from women's profiles!!! Listen, women DO NOT want to read a note full of "I like that, too!" crap! They don't want to date a parrot. 1. Read the profile to see if you even halfway fit her requirements. 2. Write a letter that doesn't mention ANY of her requirements or favorite things. Wha............?!?!? YES! The first thing women do is read YOUR profile, because they want to know about YOU. When you write them, talk about YOU, don't talk about THEM. Tell them what YOU are doing NOW. Not what you did in high school, not what you did last year, not some 20-year pipe dream fantasy. WTF did you do LAST WEEK or YESTERDAY? That's the lifestyle she is going to see if she meets you, so THAT is what you should be talking about~! Today I stood in the rain for an hour. Why? I was looking at a house I've wanted to go inside for 15 years - and TODAY I went inside - on the most rainy day in Phoenix of the last 6 months! TODAY was a SUPER day, because I did what I wanted to do and had a great time doing it. See how easy that was? This is what my life is about. Women who want to know you will ask to know MORE. All the rest don't give a flying-F, and they never will, no matter how much of their silly list matches yours. --> TALK ABOUT YOURSELF <--

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 13 (view)

is there nobody who'd date a gamer/artist from meriden ct? Posted: 1/26/2013 7:23:21 PM
Wow - ? Where is the Artistry? For someone who claims to have such a heritage, why is your photo so bad, and why don't you post SOMETHING that shows your skills? Jewelry and poster art - you've got to have SOMETHING. Even Joe Bob from hicksville will post a pic of a catfish he caught in a lobster trap. Geez, hombre, you are not even trying! For a Catholic - your church should have all kinds of social events to help hook you up and keep the breeding in progress. I find it hard to believe that a Catholic doesn't know 100 women who are ready to drop a church of kids. Who needs a car? If you've got a park bench you can sit on, you should be able to score. No, a lot of "Catholics" voted for pro death/choice Obama. Great thing is, they can make a choice, and most choose to breed, breed, and...uh, breed.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 11 (view)

Under promise, over deliver or over promise, under deliver Posted: 1/26/2013 12:43:07 AM
I choose Option C: Make No Promises Why are you making promises to strangers? Why? What do you expect that to get you? Oh - the stranger makes a promise to You, too. Huh? What good is that? Can it get you a cup of coffee or out of jail free? I choose to show, up talk it up, and let them do their own evaluation. I don't need to promise anything at all. If they like me, they will call. If they don't, they won't. If they are afraid, suspicious, or have some kind of agenda in mind, making a promise doesn't alter ANY of that. I don't solicit promises, either. Making a date is an appointment. If that appointment is missed, I know someone is unrealiable or untruthful. It's so simple, why didn't I think of this -- oh, yeah -- I did! If someone underdelivers on their promise, I can always choose to walk away for a very simple reason. Yes, there may be things I want from someone, but I don't expect to get it by wringing a "promise" out of them. If they like me, I will get what I want. Otherwise, there is no covenant broken, because they didn't promise me anything. I should have no reason to be upset with them. If you stop climbing ladders built of straw, you don't fall and hurt yourself all the time.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 43 (view)

Communication waning.... How to read? Posted: 1/25/2013 7:15:37 PM
- You can text waiting in line at the grocery store--try having a phone call then - You can text at the doctors, dentist, hair salon while waiting for your turn--try sitting in a busy doctor's waiting room and talk on the phone - You can text when someone else is driving and still have a decent conversation with them--try talking to someone on the phone and the person driving will feel left out I don't have to try or imagine any of these scenarios - they happen DAILY. In fact, I find it unusual to get in a line at the grocery store where at least one or more people aren't on the phone - and sometimes it's ME. The Doctor's & Dentists office are EVERYONE's mobile office. I hear business and see people typing on laptops or tablets routinely in these areas. Big large rooms with chairs and outlets to plug in your devices. Did you notice the same thing at airports? Yeah! Talking on the phone leaves someone out of the conversation? Unless you're using a headphone or in a convertible with the top-down, EVERYONE in the car can hear your conversation. The speakerphone has been with us for over 50 years, so leaving people out is not an issue.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 124 (view)

A Date Tonight Posted: 1/25/2013 9:28:55 AM
I've gone on dates where I did not plan a second date or hope for a relationship. It's just a date, not forever. I told the date that my social skills were rusty and I wanted to meet and try a new restaurant or something. I say I'm going to treat them to dinner, and we'll talk about our POF experiences. That's the sum of it. It's not a big deal. At the end of the date, I don't expect a hug or a kiss. The point of the exercise is to collect some great leftovers, and put into PRACTICE the social graces and conversation skills that have rusted a bit. Of course, I talk to people everywhere....in lines, at the grocery store, or whatever, so I'm not so rusty as I say. My date should not be expecting anything other than a free meal and some conversation. However, it's been my experience that women STILL expect a hug, even when I've told them it's not a romantice date, and there will be NO second date. I know people say they can go places with friends and such - but do your EVER do that? Really? Or do you do that same thing as here, and make up a bunch of excuses for why you can't go bowling, can't go to a movie, and can't meet your friend at a nice restaurant for lunch or dinner and split the bill? I focus my life on what I CAN DO, not on what I CANNOT do. Being open to meet and being agreeable to talk with people of all types keeps me fresh and sociable.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 17 (view)

What would make you attracted to someone out of your comfort zone? Posted: 1/25/2013 8:15:56 AM
== Someone who tells great stories, successful at balancing work & home, and very generous in educating others in her systems that keep her life functionall efficient. Yeah, that's asking a lot. Something small like cute shoes or a new hairstyle is not going turn a No into a Yes. What you're talking about is something which totally overrides your First Impression of this individual to the point that you are seeing an entirely different person. That is a tall order.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 10 (view)

Need help getting replies ? Read this Posted: 1/24/2013 9:54:47 PM
Here's a second message: Six months ago I sent a message to you to get your attention. That message was "what's up". You did not write back. You checked my profile - so I think you were not impressed. My life has changed since that day. I have finished my new career training, and now I hold a secure position with a solid company that trains and coaches its employees for success. I am taking advantage of all that training, and I plan a great career for the next 20 years. To reflect my change in attitude and position in life, I've rewritten my profile and posted new photos that I believe incorporate my newfound confidence and joy at starting my career. I invite you to look me over again. I wish to surround myself with positive and successful people, and I consider you to be in that catagory. The best way to be sure is to date you. How do you like me now? And here is your response TheOneChick is not accepting messages from people in your group.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 11 (view)

Do women really recieve that many messages per day? Posted: 1/24/2013 9:21:00 PM
I have a fairly good response rate to messages I send. I write short stories in my messages. The stories are always different, because life goes on, and different things happen to me each week, so I have different stories to tell. Just today I went to lunch at a place I never knew existed, and it was within walking distance for 7 years. I was amazed. Also today I met someone I never knew existed until recently, and we spoke for over an hour about a place neither of us has been for 30 years. Also amazing. This is LIFE. This kind of stuff happens to people ALL THE TIME. This is what you SHARE with people when you write. It shows that you are a UNIQUE person who finds the world INTERESTING and know how to wring the most adventure out of the most mundane daily events. Most people write messages the way they fill out forms at a Government Office - they don't want to say anything, resent filling out the form, try to hide details, and just want it OVER. People write back to me because they want to hear another story - and frequently I give them another story - because THERE ARE NEW STORIES EVERY SINGLE DAY! For the life of me I don't know how people live in such exciting times, and don't notice the great things that happen to them! How is that even possible? Stop staring at the cracks in the sidewalk and look at the city lights overhead. Now TALK about those amazing lights!

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 14 (view)

I hate living in the country. Posted: 1/24/2013 9:02:12 PM
The ones who aren't are high maintenance. There's your problem. You ruled out all your options by ASSUMING they are high maintenance before you even met them. And in this very post, you gripe that all these "country" girls have expensive hobbies like fishin, muddin, truckin, chewin tabbacy, I dunno - is fishing really that expensive? So 100% of women you have labeled as High Maintenance. The answer to your problem is simple: Stop being a tightwad. Heck, even if you ran to a prostitute for a BJ, you'd probably complain that it costs too much. Strip Club? Too expensive. Girly magazine? Too much pocket change....oh, anything more than FREEeeeeeeeeee is just too damn much. As long as you have that attitude, you will FAIL. Wait! You're complaining that POF sucks and it's FREE. And what happened....you FAILED on POF, too. Sheeeesh!!!! Bottom line, is that your attitude is ruining your chances everywhere you go. Bettter go to the FREE Clinic and get a FREE head exam.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 17 (view)

Girls tells me she'll be busy all weekend then goes off on me for not calling. Posted: 1/24/2013 3:42:51 PM
Or, ya know, you could try talking to her. It's very clear from OP's story that he DID talk to her and she said she would be BUSY ("Don't talk to me!"). Then AFTER he sent a text message to warm her up, and then called to TALK to her, she blows up! Wow. When is talking NOT talking? I know - when she changes all her plans and decides she doesn't need to call, because everything is always the man's fault. OP, you is cool. It doesn't matter if you've known this woman 1 day or 1000 days, when she brings out the CRAZY, it's time to close up shop and go away. There's no appeasing CRAZY. There are no solutions, pre-cautions or post-outburst remedies. CRAZY is just CRAZY = get away from it, my brother.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 6 (view)

cant get a date on a dating sight Posted: 1/23/2013 10:06:18 PM
1) Profile pic - you are not smiling, and you are hiding your figure. Replace with a good, smiling photo taken outside in the DAYLIGHT. For a woman who loves horses, WHY is your photo indoors? 2) Your profile is somewhat negative. Although you list a lot of activities, they sound more like CHORES that you don't enjoy. Can you talk about things you do that you DO like? Maybe just talk about raising and training horses. 3) Your profile and your post have this stink of desperation which sounds like you want to be rescued from the drudgery of your "independent" lifestyle. It's as if you need some kind of brute who going to force you to have fun, willing or unwilling. Sorry - women are not for breaking and branding. You need to lure a guy with sugar and stop looking for a master roper/handler to break you of your "spirit". Next time you go dancing, don't give a guy that "independent" speech. It's tired, it's lame, and every man on Earth has the same response to it - he leaves you ALONE to exult in your independence. Seriously, we don't give a grit. Do you want to date, or don'tcha? Stop lecturing men on independence, we know what it is.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 18 (view)

To Show or Not To Show Posted: 1/23/2013 9:45:56 PM
Never feed geese by hand. Geese bite. They have teeth in their beaks. They are agressive, they will keep coming after you run out of food. They will honk at you when you don't feed them. They will surround you and "goose" you if you don't follow their goose-orders. Is it too hard to use tongs to feed the geese? Or just toss the food on the ground? Geese do not obey the 3-second rule.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 15 (view)

With a Little Help from Our Forum Friends? Posted: 1/23/2013 9:34:50 PM
I've had lonely chicks hit on me from overseas, sure....they talk big about moving over, setting up shop, being faithful, "old fashioned", hard working, etc. Yeah...floats like a brick. Never took a word about moving seriously from anyone over 50 miles away. Move, then call me. Hmm...phone is pretty cold. Well, if everyone is LOCAL in your Forum hook-ups, then I suppose it could work... Then again, if you're local, why do you need a Forum buddy to hook you up? You should have come up on each other's searches ages ago. Unless someone has a hidden profile, or is a "Forums Only" member - which doesn't speak well for dating.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 2 (view)

To Show or Not To Show Posted: 1/23/2013 10:15:14 AM
If you want to show your skin, I WILL LOOK. On POF, in the grocery store, at the beach, the mall, driving in your droptop, standing on a street corner slinging a mattress sign - I WILL LOOK. I many not LIKE, but I will LOOK.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 4 (view)

How to Romance HIM...chocolate and flowers? lol Posted: 1/23/2013 10:06:16 AM
Body massage. Food. Lots of it. Go with him to some useless, sleazy, testosterone-filled environment like a auto salvage yard, a pool hall, even Home Depot or Lowes. You don't need to do ANYTHING. Just go with him to see this rat-hole of a place that he likes for some reason. See for yourself if it's a dump or not so bad. See for yourself if it's filled with crazy guys or slutty women. The point if this activity is twofold: 1) To show that you are not embarassed to be seen with him in some dumpy place that has zero glamour. 2) To SEE FOR YOURSELF the worst of the worst of his habits - the places he would go without you. Now you know. When he disappears, he's in a junkshop smashing things with hammers, not in a whorehouse surrounded by Victoria Secret models, or filming some hip-hip video surrounded by hoochies. This is the flipside of having him hold your shopping bags at the mall.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 13 (view)

Have you taken a FWB to a more serious level? Posted: 1/23/2013 12:03:12 AM
OP, it would be so much easier to kick him in the ribs in the middle of the night. Then he would put his pants on and never come back. Ah, but you would rather "take it to a more serious level". Okay, so it wasn't serious with the sex and the ball games and the good times? That was all meaningless? Sounds like you have a great relationship with few requirements and lots of benefits - and now you want to flip the script and make it full of responsibilities and devoid of fun = More Serious. Well...okay, but don't say you weren't warned. After you are more "serious", what then? You get him to sign a life insurance document? A will? Deed to a house? What? You want him to live in the same house as you - WTF for? So you kids can make snarky remarks about him? You've got a private place to get it on with NO interference ( his place ), lots of good times and sex. All that's left is Money, Politics, and Religion = The Triumvirate of Misery. But wait - in 6 months you will want to get EVEN MORE SERIOUS! What? Marriage? Power of Attorney and Organ Donation? Damn....if this guy is so swell he'd probably name you as benefactor of all that stuff WITHOUT marriage or living together. Ask him ... or is that too serious?

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 39 (view)

Have you become so Jaded that you think you will never marry? Posted: 1/22/2013 7:30:54 PM
I did not have a goal or a plan to marry, and never really considered it until I met a "nice girl" in my 3os. Good thing we had a long engagement - despite her absolute determination to be married and professed undying love, she went totally off the rails, off the cliff, down into the chasm with steam belching from all chambers and even after crashing in the river below, kept sputtering: " I want to be married!" OK. So...marriage just ain't my thing. I have no kids and don't want kids. Why do I need marriage?

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 46 (view)

Being played for a fool. Posted: 1/22/2013 6:56:13 PM
I'm calling OP out for being a player herself and fooling around with some guy when she's not divorced yet. Sure...blame the husband. What? Do you think you're gonna marry some NEW guy? Is your "still married" problem just going to magically disappear when some NEW guy spends the night with you? Ridiculous. Maybe the moment the guy found out you were still MARRIED, he started to make excuses - because he KNEW you weren't doing squat to resolve that issue and he didn't want to wait on you FOREVER. This guy has EVERY RIGHT TO BE GONE every weekend, because you are NOT available for him. Where he goes is none of your business --- especially after only 2 months!!!

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 13 (view)

Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners? Posted: 1/22/2013 6:39:20 PM
The cell phone issue has been common for at least 15 years now. I found it annoying a dozen years ago - and apparently times have not changed at all. It's impossible to learn about someone if you're not paying attention. Well...we shouldn't really blame the phones - it's the people who are the problem. If these very same people did not have cell phones, they would be constantly jangling their charm bracelets, or staring at the ceiling fans turn around, or looking over their shoulders at other people and asking "what you think of THAT couple". These people simply have short attention spans and the phone is just a convenient distraction. These are the very same people who used to drop pencils, pass notes, and chatter incessantly in classrooms. The same people who can't walk by any display without putting their hands on everything that's out. The people that will touch every item on a snack tray in search of the perfect cracker/cheese/dressing combination. They can't help it, and thankfully, we can find out on the first date and be DONE with them!

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 17 (view)

Forever 29 Posted: 1/22/2013 12:21:12 AM
Most of my best friends had moved out of town in the last couple of years and I was kinda down - I think I was feeling somewhat aimless in life and it was odd, because I never felt like that before, and since then I reverted to not worrying about being aimless. Just seems that particular year, I really felt the weight of age.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 35 (view)

Men don't smell like men anymore Posted: 1/22/2013 12:14:25 AM
BTW, for those who didn't know this.....smell is the biggest memory trigger of all the 5 senses. Pull my finger and I'll send you on a Magical Mystery Tour......an olfactory odyssey of the mind.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 25 (view)

Men don't smell like men anymore Posted: 1/21/2013 6:21:17 PM
I was conscripted into using Obsession for Men many years ago. Women seem to prefer anything over natural musk, sweat and tears. I don't know the difference and cannot remember what any perfume or cologne smells like. If I was given a blind test, I couldn't even identify what I wear. Most of it smells OK to me. I like perfume on women - a little bit that you can't smell until you're close enough to lick her. I remember some exotic dancers use the stuff around their privates, too. It's a nice smell when they're dancing around your face. But who want's to smell like old sweaty flannel after chopping wood? Then again, most women seem to like a dog's natural musk - I've never heard of women spraying dogs with cologne, yet they let them sleep in their beds all the time. I was at the movies over the weekend. This fussy woman moved from where she was sitting, and sat right next to me, ignoring all the empty seats from my position to the aisle. Then she put her feet up on the chair in front. She reeked. My theater experience had just been ruined. I threw protocol and courtesy out the window - got up and moved away. Sometimes you gotta act to protect yourself.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 4 (view)

Anyone care to Chat across the pond? Posted: 1/21/2013 5:37:52 PM
It was a great trip and I wasn't there long enough! The cabbie chatted us up good all the way in from Heathrow. We arrived in pouring rain and after settling in, took a cab to Harrod's. A new Bond film was opening that week, and the all the picture windows were decorated as different films in the franchise. We were on coaches every day, which is nice that we saw a lot of country side patchwork farms and meadows. I'd certainly like to visit again, though I don't have any plans. Yes, I watch BBC America on cable. Watched Dr. Who since the 80's.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 2 (view)

Why do guys add me as a FAVORITE & then never msg me? Posted: 1/20/2013 11:33:31 PM
I have favorite singers, favorite bands, favorite actors and actresses. Some I find sexy, alluring, even fantasize about them. I NEVER WRITE TO THEM. NEVER. I don't follow their Twitter accounts. Favorite does not mean "You are my Soul Mate and I must be with you immediately". Favorite can apply to anything mentioned in your profile. You mention eating SPAM for breakfast, and 10 guys will favorite you because they like SPAM for breakfast. 3 guys will UN-favorite you. And that's how is goes. Add a favorite is by NO MEANS an indicator that someone will contact you or ask you out. Stop Worrying, and Learn to Love Favorites. Including the ones that don't write. PS - If you are indeed witty, you do not need to be sarcastic. Also, glad your bathroom mirror pic has a hand sanitizer, 'cause ... ick!!! Not the kind of place I would want to meet and shake hands.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 21 (view)

What do women really want? Posted: 1/20/2013 10:22:44 PM
Really? Mostly they just want you to give a FF about how they feel and what happens to them on a day-to-day basis. Add to that, the same concerns for their kids, pets, parents, and close friends. They want you to be angry when they are angry, sad when they are sad, happy when they are happy, sick a little so they can heal you, and understanding when they are sick. They want the whole list of line-item set of "what ifs" with coverage for loss of affection, income, health and security. Step up to the plate, sign the contract "under penalty of death".

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 3 (view)

What attracts males to females Posted: 1/20/2013 10:05:16 PM
Large, swollen, puffy nipples. The kind that poke through sweaters or look like rivets in spandex. Big, like a condensation ring left on a coffee table by a cold drink. The type of pointy buggers that look like they got caught in a laundry wringer or a waffle iron a few times too many. Hypnotic. Dominating. Impossible to avert one's eyes from. Flaunt 'em. You know, the kind of stuff that got Miss Janet banned from TV. Yeah.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 2 (view)

Anyone care to Chat across the pond? Posted: 1/20/2013 9:41:20 PM
Most Englanders who come to AZ prefer Scottsdale for the golf courses and brutal high desert trails. It seems your countrymen consider this area an adventure expedition and the more inhospitable the better! I've cautioned lobster red Brits on paths to get out of the sun, yet they are brimming with smiles and seem quite elated to be a the verge of a heat stroke. Well....Bob's your uncle, I guess.... I've been 'round England only once, from Dover to Canterbury to Leeds Castle, to Bath to Stonehenge to Knightsbridge to London Eye to Trafalgar to Piccadilly to Westminster Abbey.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 10 (view)

Phone calls and honesty Posted: 1/18/2013 6:52:23 PM
I have had dozens of hour-long conversations with women I've never met before, all kinds of women who talk about their lives, their kids, their jobs..they really open up. The the plane lands and I never hear from them again. Is that cruel? I mean, why tell a stranger such personal stuff unless you're going to integrate them into your life in a very personal way? Could it be they were just passing the time until they got to where they wanted to be? But...but...but...

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 18 (view)

Two mutual friends are in a bad relationship Posted: 1/18/2013 6:35:20 PM
Don't get me wrong, it's not like he's a nutcase. He just seems to have a jeckyl and hyde personality. Do you KNOW who Jeckyl and Hyde are? Do you KNOW they are the very definition of "nut case"? Would YOU date a woman with a Jeckyl and Hyde disorder? Would you feel comfortable sleeping with a woman who could turn into a murderous psychopath at the drop of a hat? (Beyond the standard deviations, I mean....)

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 3 (view)

Turned off by serious questions? Posted: 1/17/2013 9:46:36 PM
Who doesn't like serious questions? Who doesn't like feeling as if they're in a basement tied to a chair being injected with drugs and grilled like a kobe steak. Who doesn't want to spill their most personal secrets in a public setting like a restaurant while a waiter keeps refilling your iced tea after every sip and asking you if you salsa is too hot while you're trying to explain your divorce, chronic illness, financial woes and dead-end employment? Who wouldn't want to give a perfect stranger all the keys to their personal life in this day and age of identity theft? Who? Maybe it would be more fun to put out a cigarette in my eye. Maybe it would be more fun to smash a wine glass and eat all the shards. Maybe it would be more fun to walk barefoot across a briar patch. Turned off by serious questions? No, I made a date with a woman I though would be FUN to talk to, not an KGB agent.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 17 (view)

Should I Be Suspicious? Posted: 1/17/2013 9:15:46 PM
Historical Update to Captain Amerikka: Slave owners in the Confederate south had multiracial workers, too. In the fields, in the house, doing the laundry, buying supplies for the plantation. Heck, they even had multi-racial children sometimes. Hiring someone to work for you does not absolve one of racism. Let me ask-were there any minority managers or co-owners in this business, or did all the multi-racials work in the kitchen and the wait staff? Did you ask? Do you care?

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 44 (view)

How to easily find fake profiles Posted: 1/16/2013 11:07:52 PM
AintNoDeal, no need to get all technical on us dude. The very premise of the initial post is technical, and many of the comments address details of how to cope with the technical details or alternative techniques - yet defining one's Initial Conditions is considered "too technical" for this thread...? !mea culpa! sumimasen, yo!

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 41 (view)

How to easily find fake profiles Posted: 1/16/2013 10:32:49 PM
The PHOTOS are not fake. The PROFILES may be fake. The photos are FALSE (representations). A fake photo would be a CGI (computer generated image) or painting that looks like a photograph and is represented as a photograph to people who view it. On YouTube there are many "UFO sighting" video posts that show CGI ufos flying over cities or parks, landmarks and such. The "sighting" story is fake, and the imagery of the UFO is fake. When you speak of a profile with misleading information and photographs, the Profile is FAKE because its intent is to create a phony persona for an ulterior purpose. The Information is FALSE because it does not represent the person who posted it - even though it may contain ACCURATE data, like the names of cities, zip codes, lists of favorite items, etc. If the photograph is of a mannequin figure, a child's doll, a ventriloquist dummy, it is still a REAL photograph (i.e. taken by a camera), but it is also a FALSE photo (a misrepresentation).

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 16 (view)

Younger VS. Older Posted: 1/16/2013 10:19:03 PM
!Holy crow! Do you want a date or don't you? Accept the date, THEN you call talk until the cows come home....or until 8pm when he walks you home 4 blocks from the Woolworth's soda counter, just like 40 years ago. Oh, right, Woolworth's doesn't exist any more. How about the deli counter at Walmart? Will you wear a poodle skirt and a promise ring? Will you wear penny loafers and a bra with metal wire in it? I pity the fellow now. You probably plan to put him through Hell if he doesn't pick you up in his car and walk around the front of the car to open the passenger door for you. Is it OK to go "parking" on the first date? Are you gonna spell/correct the guy's text messages? Will you criticize his grammar all night long and chide him for not making management sooner or being a Vice President at his age? Is the date OFF if he's driving a Chevy instead of Buick or a Lincoln? ...or God forbid, a foreign car? Does he have to light your cigarette? "Well...er...gosh, Molly...uh, you sure are swell.....I gotta go milk the cows and put the horse in the barn, now." Are you gonna let him do that?

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 29 (view)

How to easily find fake profiles Posted: 1/15/2013 11:16:10 PM
I would simply use some basic questions to root out the fakes: - Can you read Cuneiform? Would Hammurabi enact voter ID laws? - Is is improper to wear white lace stockings after Labor Day? Same rules for fishnet? - Name the 7 items on the wart on the frog on the knob on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea. Really this kind of Pop Quiz is easy to administer and evaluate. - I can decipher most pictograms on my tablet mobile device which is based on silicon, not red clay - It's improper to wear lace to bed because it's scratchy and uncomfortable. Fishnet is immobilizing. - Naming 7 items is par if you are a hostess at Red Lobster. As guest you only get 3 items with your frog legs.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 8 (view)

Where are the men who want a new family? Posted: 1/15/2013 10:59:16 PM
Are you OK with sharing your new husband's weekends with his old family? Are you OK with your new daddy missing your new kid's play-dates because he's going to his older kid's graduation? Are you OK with new hubby/dad buying a new car for old wife/kids while you made do with the 20-year old Dodge Van? If you really want a new family, you can adopt, do in-vitro, you don't have to wait for a husband to hold you hand. Rare is the man who WANTS to raise the children of others. Some men will agree to it to get their own set of rugrats. Then again, some men will breed willy-nilly and don't care how many you pop out or what happens to them. Pick your scenario.

AintNoDeal

Joined: 2/3/2010

Msg: 13 (view)

Question for Ladies 50+ Posted: 1/15/2013 12:14:48 PM
From the way their profiles are worded, it would appear that most women 50+ are going to come after any healthy man who's not in the poor house like a Used Car Salesman. They want you to sign that Commitment Document Today! Is there ever an age when a guy can retire his suit and cape and not play "hero" any more? If you really just want someone to talk "AT", sisters, BFFs and dogs are really good for that. So for me, any dog pics, group pics of girls nite out and such are big red flags. These women have friends and companions - why do they need a man again? I am a talker, a story teller, a person who likes to see wonderful things unfold and people achieve happiness. This is why I ask for stories. Tell me the story of how you made your dream come true. So many people don't know how they got where they are - there is not story - there's only some accidental tourism going on - or they hitched a ride on someone else's train and fell off somewhere. Show me there's a spark of life and curiosity still in you, not just a set of coded instructions to eat, sleep, work, repeat.

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