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Thread: It kinda makes sense to me.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 214 (view)

It kinda makes sense to me. Posted: 3/10/2009 9:54:43 AM
If you're the kind of person who likes sex on the first date, then you're going to be looking for other pwople who want it too. If you think that sex on the first date is a bad idea, then people who do it are 'forbidden fruit'. This can be tempting. Even for the guys who think that 'women who do it are sluts' they often just don't think of themselves as sluts... (the old double standard). For me, I separate sex from love. The two are complementary. You can have one without the other, but it's much much better when they go together. The problem comes when people confuse the two and assume that one means the other. That's the preference, but you probably need to know the other person reasonably well to be sure that they're on the same page as you on that matter. In other words, it's probably best to wait on the first date, or -- at the very least -- be sure that you're both on the same page before you get into the same bed (or car seat, or bush, or wherever it is that you end up doing it..).

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Why do men think i want to have their babies? Posted: 4/16/2007 9:49:39 PM
Looking at your photos, the first one is quite fuzzy, and the second borders on erotic. It's not a bad photo, its actually a very good photo, but it has all sorts of elements that push it into the space of 'sexy' -- and given that you're trying to not get guys too riled up on the first (few) dates, you might want to get a few pictures that show off your beauty without showing off your sensuality.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Why do men think i want to have their babies? Posted: 4/16/2007 9:43:07 PM
There's nothing wrong with being affectionate, just warn people up front... Something like: I'm openly affectionate with people, and I like to cuddle, but that doesn't mean I'm into fast sex. I'm willing to take my time with that and if you really like me, you should be ready to take your time too. Also: be ready and willing to say 'no', early and often and explain why. Guys are easy to confuse, (OK. I'm easy to confuse, and I'm presuming that this applies to other guys too). The signals as to what means 'go' and what means 'stop' are so varied from woman to woman that an explicit explanation can be really useful. ... and as for guys that just can't take 'stop' for an answer, cut bait.. There's plenty of other fish out in these seas -- and it's not like you've any shortage of bait.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 357 (view)

Better SEX: Before or After 30? Posted: 4/16/2007 9:28:21 PM
Well, once you hit 30, it's better to have it after 30 than before.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

The ex x and x Posted: 4/16/2007 9:21:14 PM
The toilet seat is an easy enough thing to understand. Women almost never have any reason to put the seat up (other than, perhaps, praying to the porcelain goddess), so they never have to think about putting it down. This is especially true if they're not used to having a man around the house. We're all creatures of habits (thought the habits can vary), and breaking those habits can hurt . An example: Way back when I lived at home, my mom decided to remodel the kitchen. Now, between the kitchen and the back door was a tiny little alcove that we called "the airlock". It was about 6' x4' with a door at either end. (with Edmonton's -40C midwinter days, this was a very nice feature). the inside door was almost always closed. During the renovations, the inside door was taken out. While chatting with my best friend on the phone I went to lean on the door (forgetting that it no longer existed). All the Peter heard was a short scream and the sound of the phone (and me) hitting the floor. Habit. Pure habit.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 111 (view)

Have you ever touched somebody famous? Posted: 2/11/2007 12:34:14 AM
I once danced with Sarah McLachlan. Actually, before that, I had tried to sell her a ticket to a benefit concert. She was really nice about it, even though she never bought a ticket. Something about headlining the concert. . . .

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

funniest thing you've seen while on the bus (transit) Posted: 1/30/2007 8:49:34 PM
I was taking the skytrain, and had just stopped at Superstore. When I go to Superstore, I usually get some bulk cheezies to munch on on the way home. There is a small group of older teens on the bus, and two of the girls were sitting across from me, one on either end of the bench. The one directly across from me had her feet on the seat and was sitting hunched with her back to the glass by the door. Her friend was teasing her about how she looked like a chipmunk. After a bit, chipmunk girl starts talking about how she IS a chipmunk. As she was saying this, I looked at her, looked at the cheezie in my hand and then just flicked the cheezie at chipmunk girl. After sharing a good laugh, and some cheezies, we all got off at commercial and headed off in our respective directions.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 242 (view)

Nothing special about christians here. Posted: 9/30/2006 9:28:45 AM
It's more an issue in the space of religion. Religion is a thing mostly of belief, and people like to know that what they believe is true. One way to 'prove' that what you believe is true is to have everybody around you believing the same thing. This is not a problem in and of itself. The problem arises when some people take the shortcut of attempting to force the people around them to believe what they believe (e.g. at gunpoint or by law). When you have two people of opposing beliefs trying to do this in th esame area, then you can end up at risk of a religious war. This problem doesn't even limit itself to religion. It can happen with just about any issue of opinion... Politics, choice of operating system, whatever.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 76 (view)

What triggers you to run... Posted: 9/30/2006 4:01:18 AM
A carcadan... If you can imagine something man-sized with a long dinasour tail, and a skeletal head with a unicorn horn. yea, it was a costume, but I ran into one on a dark trail one night and, when it growled at me I turned and ran like my life depended on it. (( yeah, there's a longer story to that one)) On a more serious tone, Drugs. I had a roommate who relapsed into using Meth. She was a pretty good roommate up until that point, then it just went slowly to hell in a handbasket.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 79 (view)

Strangest Thing You Would Eat Posted: 9/30/2006 3:24:15 AM
Once, on a dare, I ate a hot dog covered with blueberry yogurt. I loved it. Nobody else believed me. They stilll barely believed me when I had a second one. Given that, until that point I had hated yogurt, I was pretty surprised myself. I started experimenting with yogurt after that. ____________ In terms of animals: I've had deer sausage. Capybara is supposed to tast something like pork. Capybara are HUGE rodents (around 100 lbs).

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Veggie Pilaf Posted: 9/30/2006 3:16:35 AM
This is pretty easy in a Rice cooker, but I originally did it in a regular pot. Throw in A bit of oil a teaspoon of brown sugar a good-sized pinch of salt 1/4 tsp of crushed black pepper a good dash of: cloves or allspice savory paprika cinnamon 2 Tbsp of finely diced ginger 2 cloves of garlic -- chopped 1/2 of a medium sized onion whatever other spices suit your fancy for the day. 1 cup of rice 1/2 - 2/3 cup of green lentils. (If you're doing this in a rice cooker, then you should boil the green lentils for about 5 minutes before throwing them in). Toss it in a rice cooker with 2 cups of water and wait for it to boil. Add: 1 diced potatoe a good handful of your favorite pasta A good handful of sticky rice. 1/2 cup of red lentils A chopped up chili vegie dog can go good in here at this point, if you're in the mood. Stir them all up and then add another handful of sticky rice to the top. (do NOT mix this in) Wait for the mix to finish cooking (I presume that you know how to cook rice). Scoop out a good chunk, and garnish with diced broccoli or some other veggies of choice, sprinkle with cinnamon, some more pepper and/or some nutritional yeast. add a liberal dose of soy sauce. Enjoy

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Are you hopeful or hopeless? Posted: 8/1/2006 1:05:38 PM
The wierd thing for me is that it's mostly when I'm hopeless (and not even trying) that I usually connect with someone. -- so, even if you're hopeless, there may some hope.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

MY SISTER broke my heart... Posted: 8/1/2006 9:17:11 AM
One thing I'd suggest is start showing up at family gatherings again. Just because your sister is being nasty doesn't mean that you have to run screaming from the family gatherings (unless she's physically violent, in which case other measures have to be taken). Be with her and lover her -- even if she isn't loving you back at the moment. In time she'll turn around, or not. Ultimately it's her choice.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 89 (view)

Breast Implants Posted: 8/1/2006 7:48:39 AM
I know one girl who got breast implants, and had complications. now she won't wear anything 'revealing' because they reveal the scarring. Other posible side effects include loss of sensation (counter productive - no?) and inability to breast feed. No surgery is without risks. I'd save getting yourself geting sliced and diced for something that's really gonna make a difference (like a medical emergency). For me, the breasts are nowhere near as important as the person they're attached to. I've gone out with women ranging from wee tiny to D. Their tit size has never really made a difference to me. I'm more interested in the person.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

SO if you thought about it, if you looked at your new gf or bf do they actually resemble your ex. Posted: 8/1/2006 1:53:26 AM
I guess it's not that big of a shock -- If you like a certain kind of guy/girl, you find one like that and you latch on. On the other hand, you might want to make a conscious effort to find someone different. You might find a different chemistry in the long term. For my part, I rarely end up with two people who look the same -- one exception being when I ran into someone who was a splitting image of a dead ex... but it never really went anywhere. I do, however, look for intelligence. If they can't keep up an intelligent argument/conversation, then I'm likely to get quickly bored.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Why are we so afraid to put the ethniticy of the person we want to date in our profile? Posted: 8/1/2006 1:44:21 AM
There are lots of things that we do and don't like in our first choice of people, and it's not necessarily that easy to enumerate (or even explain) them all. If we did, we might just end up looking really negative. Also: Sometimes someone who is nominally against your type might tickle your fancy. In any case, if she had just written "you're not my type" you'd have never known, and would have probably just gone on your merry way. I've been rejected many times for many reasons, and accepted for even stranger ones. Just be happy that she told you early on, and go have fun finding someone who finds you more her type.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Why are women offended when I ask if their photo's are current? Posted: 7/3/2006 9:28:58 AM
For the most part, I'd say that the best use of a picture is so that you know who to look for if/when you go on a first date. If you care that much what they look like, I'd tell my friends to stay away from you, anyways. In some cases, I'll use the contents of the pictures to get a sense of what the person is like -- at least, it's the public persona they're putting out. exact looks will change from day to day, so -- unless the pictures are more than a decade old, I'd be happy with what I get.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 206 (view)

raped or not ? Posted: 7/3/2006 9:17:44 AM
One last point, Jennifer: People might be harsh with their response, but it's not because you've done anything wrong. People with strong posts are just upset that this could happen to a 12 year old, and we all want to see the 24 year old sick *stard put in jail. Most of them probably just wanted you do do the right thing, and you were the only person they had access to who could* do the right thing. For the sick P*cks in your town who say 'she asked for it', my answer would be "It doesn't matter what she asked for -- he's 24, he's done it to other little girls, and he needs to be castrated. He knew what he was doing and he could have probably done it to your* niece/daughter, given half the chance." Kudos on you for bringing this up, and taking the difficult decision to take action. It was a difficult decision, and -- no matter what you did -- you would have found people who would have criticized your (in)actions. Far better to take steps that were in integrity with what you really believed to be right. I'd say that you can stand tall -- especiall among people who would have wimped out and covered their own ass at the expense of your niece's need for support and counselling and at the cost of however many other little girls this sick creep would have seduced/raped had you stood silent. Thank you for having the guts to come out in public about this and, ultimately, being willing to take action. I expect that this girl will, at some point, thank you for what you've done.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 203 (view)

raped or not ? Posted: 7/3/2006 8:43:32 AM
Children develop way faster nowadays, their hormones are going into overtime, face it, girls are getting their periods at 8 and 9 years old. That's just the point. a young/pre teen is going to be going through the hormone stage where the hormones come on strong, but they have little, if any, experience in separating hormonal reaction from what's really good for them (( Yeah, I know, some of us never reach that stage, but you've gotta at least give them a chance)). The law presumes that an adult is going to know enough to say "no", even if the girl stripped naked and jumped him in bed. Even as the story was told, this girl wasn't eager to have sex and he had stuffed her full of drugs, so (( socially speaking )), I'd say that it would at least qualify as a date-rape, even if the girl was 20. The point of the statutory rape law is as much (if not more) about this 24 year old taking advantage of 12 year old girls as it its about whether ot not he managed to get a hormone-laced pre-teen to bob her head in the right direction..

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 202 (view)

raped or not ? Posted: 7/3/2006 8:25:54 AM
My quick take on the original story is: 1) 12 is going to be under the age of consent in any state. About the only exception would be if they were legally married (which some states might still allow at 12 with parental consent) -- but they weren't at the time so no 'get out of jail free card' there. 2) Plying them with pot and booze would probably be, in and of itself, a crime. It might also be part of the reason why she didn't say 'no' (presuming that that was the case -- and, well, who cares if she said 'no' or not?). 3) No matter how this happened, your niece needs some unconditional physical and emotional support. By this, I don't mean telling her that what happened was OK, but making damn sure that she knows that she is unconditionally loved and cared for. 4) Yeah, you should be able to go ahead with this without her consent, but you'll need some sort of witness to the rape, so -- unless someone else is able to verify her story -- she's gonna have to acknowledge it in court. 5) It might a good thing for her to know that her actions can and will have unexpected consequences. 6) This guy is a creep. He may have done this to others and may do so in the future -- Even if you didn't care about your niece, this would be , in and of itself, reason to go after him. Your niece may not have known better, but he certainly did 7) re: canadian law... If some people are stopped by thinking that the age of consent in canada is 18, let them keep thinking that. Generally the 18 year requirement applies to a person in a position of trust with respect to the youngster, but I'd be inclined to interpret 'position of trust' as widely as possible. (IANAL. If you want a real legal opinion, buy one from someone with a license to sell it to you)

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 755 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 7/3/2006 8:03:59 AM
Truth of the matter is that most people here have good intentions. There will be the occasional bad apple, but they're just as likely to put up a fake picture as no picture at all. In real life you're going to spend way more time dealing with the person than their looks, so, ultimately, looks isn't that big of a deal. I once met a woman who had been badly burned in a fire -- not much to look at, to say the least, but who she was was wonderful. The only thing that kept me from going out with her was that she lives a good distance away, and I'm not terribly interested in long-distance relationships. --- One thing I would add: I say this as a guy, and I'm not even a small guy, so physical safety is rarely an issue for me. If you have safety issues with meeting someone from the 'net (and I'd say that this also applies to guys who d supply a picture (since it's trivial to fake a picture)), then bring a chaperone with you to the date -- Perhaps you can arrange it as a double-date with a coupld of friends, or meet at a POF function. Once safety considerations are taken care of, then I'd say get over it!

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Please share your transit stories Posted: 7/3/2006 2:44:43 AM
In Edmonton, once, I ended up chasing a bus over about 2 blocks downtown. When i get on, the driver glibly informs me that i was doing at least 28 miles/hour. Thanks buddy.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

Do Unto Others Posted: 6/15/2006 3:14:47 PM
Think about it this way: If you were the wife of this guy who was fooling around, would you want to know what was going on behind your back? I agree that it's not fun to be the bearer of bad news, but if it's the right thing to do, then it's the right thing to do.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

OK! BRUTALITY I can take it Posted: 5/27/2006 3:58:35 AM
The Vegas picture is fine, but I'd crop out the Vegas. I'm looking for a date, not an architect. For the intro text, I'd add some linefeeds A huge block of text isn't that much fun to skim through. A new line for a new idea. It make skimming through the text that much easier. Freak. Now I've gotta go edit my[\i] profile!

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

i really like him but................ Posted: 5/27/2006 3:12:30 AM
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck and swims like a duck and claims to be a pidgeon. Kick it and see if it quacks. I like to trust people too, but this guy has gone one quack too far. The normal scientific approach is to come up with a theory and then devise a test that could only be passed if the theory were true. Problem is that this guy has 'passed' just about every conclusive test that I could come up with for a lying cheating polygamist. ( Did I mention that I had an uncle who was married 6 times but didn't believe in divorce? ) About the only test left would be to hire a PI to follow him home -- but I don't think he's worth it. You can do better -- way better. If I lived near you, I'd date you in a flash ( if only to wean you from this jerk -- and I wouldn't consider it a burden in the least )

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

hidden programs Posted: 5/25/2006 9:32:54 AM
If you have programs running in the background that you don't know about then I'd be rather quick to suspect spyware/viruses. I'd suggest that you do a FULL scan with your current anti-virus program, then download adaware ( http://www.lavasoft.de/software/adaware/ ) [I hope this doesn't break the guidelines] and spybot search and destroy ( http://www.spybot.info/ ) and do full scans with them as well (full scans take a couple hours a shot on most systems, so start it up and go make supper or something ). make sure to check for updates on all three programs before doing your scans.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

get togather Posted: 5/25/2006 9:24:59 AM
we all wish that we could take most (not all, but most) of the women in Seattle and Portland and make a swap with Victoria, Vancouver, Nanaimo, Fraser Valley, Abbotsford, etc. LOL. I think that would be a fair swap, huh? Speaking as a guy from Vancouver, I'd have to say "no". Nothing much against WA girls (I know some really nice ones), but I do like the women who live here just fine.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Gimp Geek, generally Posted: 5/25/2006 9:04:00 AM
I first started with PS 2 (!), but I'm now using GIMP (gimp.org) for my photo work. It's free, so that's a good price for home users, and it's probably second only to PS in terms of capabilities. The controls, however, are a bit different than PS, so people that live/eat/breathe Photoshop will probably feel a bit disoriented with GIMP. As an example (in the other direction), I have a friend who has PS on her MAC, but doesn't know it yet (about to start a course). I just wanted to do something 'simple' -- like cropping an image to an exact size, or something like that. I finally just gave up and downloaded gimp to do the job.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

How much info to give out? Would you give your number to someone right away? Posted: 5/25/2006 6:18:28 AM
Hey, you're just starting up a relationship, so you should do what makes you feel comfortable -- It's not like you're asking for a $500 damage deposit and his firstborn for a hostage. Personally, I wouldn't just walk away from this guy, I'd warn my friends off of him as well (seriously!). If he's not willing to honour your bounds at this point in the relationship, what's he going to be like 6 months down the road? (( Personally, I'd give out my phone number on a whim, but I'm 6' tall and reasonably muscular ))

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 78 (view)

So, What Kind of Mental Illness? Posted: 5/24/2006 6:58:46 PM
Mental Illness can range from a good dose of depression (something like 30% of the population has gone through that [often undiagnosed]) or even seasonal affected disorder, to psychotic/paranoid/schizophrenia. The former isn't that big of a deal. For a serious case of the latter, you'd have to have a lot of plusses for me to consider a romantic relationship. It's not like any of us are likely to be perfectly normal (a perfectly normal person would be, almost by definition, a freak of nature -- so would they be really 'normal'?). I've dated people with depression, and I'd do it again. On the other hand, I know one person who had her husband go nuts on her (I think it was schizophrenia), and he drove her to the edge of suicide. That's not a space to walk into on a whim.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Talking about sex.... Posted: 5/20/2006 9:46:09 AM
I don't think that people are so much offended about talking about sex as they are scared to offend others by talking about it. Some people get completely freaked talking about sex some don't mind it -- but if you freak someone out by raising the subject, then it's hard to get to the point where they'd be comfortable with it. Personally, I'm willing to talk about just about anything.

Joined: 5/20/2006

Msg: 260 (view)

Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you? Posted: 5/20/2006 9:19:10 AM
Pleasing your partner is part of being in a relationship. Oral is part of what makes some women tremble, so if that's what it takes for her and you're unwilling to go there, then that'd be a sign that you're a bit too self centered to care about her. It's not like she's asking you to cut off your member. girls: If it's his first time, then be gentle It took me a while to get used to the idea myself ... but if he's just being obstinate, grab him by the balls and toss him out the window (1st and 2nd floors only!)

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