Thoughts on dating a non Christian. What to do? chat & forums.

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Thread: Thoughts on dating a non Christian. What to do?

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 203 (view)

Thoughts on dating a non Christian. What to do? Posted: 7/12/2007 6:02:49 PM
My thoughts are to only become involved with a believer. My life experience is somewhat different. My story: I married a Christian man that I had known for 12 years. During our 18 year marriage, he was a pillar of both our community and our church. He professed to love the Lord and to live his life by Christian principals. In the end, he confessed that he had been having an affair (with a woman from our church) for several years. This man that prayed over the kids and I before he left for work every morning, called his gf before he got out of our driveway. I've learned, the hard way, that it does not matter what they say, or even how they act. Only God knows their heart. While I would not become involved with someone that was openly atheist or agnostic, beyond that, I will follow my heart.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

EX back again.. Posted: 7/7/2007 9:09:14 PM
I think the term bio dad is giving him more credit than he deserves. He is nothing more than a sperm donor. If you believe the sperm donor has had a change of heart and truly wants to know his daugher, I would require him to establish a relationship with her via phone, internet, letters, etc. If he cannot commit to a continuous relationship with her, do not force her to allow him into her life.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Got a fake diamond ring from fiance, he lied and said it was a 3 carat, 30,000 dollar ring! Posted: 7/7/2007 8:48:14 PM
Little white lies are a BIG RED FLAG. She should have run when she first realized he is a liar. Now she is surprised he lies? I wonder how she reconciles that fact that someone that is supposed to love her, lies to her.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Do You Like Flowers On A First Date? Posted: 7/6/2007 7:46:36 PM
Flowers are a very nice gift to bring for a first date (assuming you are picking her up - who wants to haul flowers around all evening), but very unnecessary. Sending flowers the day after the date I've always found to be a very sweet gesture.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Acceptability of Adultery between men and women Posted: 6/29/2007 8:57:58 PM
Pretty shallow love that can lie and decieve, me thinks.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Acceptability of Adultery between men and women Posted: 6/29/2007 8:08:01 PM
Acceptable? I hardly think so! I am a member of the "been-cheated-on-club". My ex convinced me to attend "adultry school" (my name for it) - a support group-of-sorts for fools such as myself. As a result, I do know the statics. Men are more forgiving of adultry because sex it is not as emotional for them, while women that commit adultry tend to be much more emotionally involved with their lover. Bottom line is that anyone that commits adultry is a selfish coward. Why, oh why, would you want to spend you life and your love on a selfish coward? You are worth so much more than that.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Your Best Martini Recipe Posted: 6/27/2007 7:17:31 AM
Update: I have found a new "Lemon Drop Martini" recipe and it is THE winner. 2 oz Citron Vodka 2 oz Margarita Mix (without alcohol) 1 oz Triple Sec 1 T Fresh Lemon Juice 1 t sugar Put sugar in a stainless steel shaker. Add lemon juice and blend. Add ice and all other ingredients. Shake, strain and serve in glass with sugared rim. Yum!

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Your Best Martini Recipe Posted: 6/17/2007 5:20:00 PM
I have finally found the perfect (but if you have one you like better, let me know) "Lemon Drop" martini. Absolut Citron Triple Sec Sweet n Sour Fresh lemon squeeze Use superfine sugar for the rim. Chocolate Martini Absolut Vanilla White Creme de Cocao Splash of Frangelico Clean rim and no chocolate sprinkles, syrup, powder, etc., for me.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Bacon Wrapped Shrimp Posted: 6/8/2007 9:43:30 PM
My favorite bacon wrapped shrimp is: Large shrimp, shells removed, tails left on. Generously splash balsamic vinegar and allow shrimp to marinate for at least an hour. Sprinkle with freshly ground black pepper and chopped rosemary. Take a small piece of stilton (or other blue) cheese and hold it in the curve of the shrimp. Wrap with bacon. Toothpick into place. Broil 4 to 5 inches from heat source for about 5 min. Turn and cook for about 4 more minutes, or until bacon is done.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

The truth about golddiggers Posted: 6/8/2007 6:12:36 PM
Message 16: Amen, sister. Have sex with a man whose only attractive quality (attractive quality being used rather loosley here) is wealth? They haven't printed enough money for that yet.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 92 (view)

Things I've Learned From Online Dating Posted: 6/5/2007 7:04:00 PM
I truly have met some very nice people, however this has certainly been a learning experience. What have I learned? Wow! A lot, not the least of which is what I call “online-dating-newspeak”. Spontaneous = Erratic Quiet = Doesn’t say a word Talkative = Rambles on endlessly Outgoing = Embarrassing Fun = Clueless Easygoing = I.Q. of a houseplant Honest = Haven’t been caught Successful = Either; I once was or I hope someday to be Athletic = Not since college, if ever Free-spirited = Flat broke Loves to dance = has two left feet and knows how to move them Average = Overweight

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Can you be too picky? Posted: 6/5/2007 6:20:41 PM
I'm in full agreement with Frau. I will add, that at our age we "get" what it is that we need, and what we are not cabaple of tolerating. It is not a matter of easing up on the requirements. We understand what is necessary for long term success..., and we don't want to do this again.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Where is the most inappropriate place........ Posted: 6/2/2007 9:24:05 AM
At my best-friends-husbands funeral. No kidding. A group of guys showed up that he had gone through school with, although she (nor I) had ever met, or even heard, of them. At the wake, she was having a hard time, and asked me if I would "make the rounds" for her. I approached their table (her brother-in-law was there) and thanked them for coming and stayed and chatted for a few minutes. One of the men that had not said ANYTHING, upon hearing that I am single, asked me if I was "seeing anyone". Shocked, I answered, "why yes, I'm single, not blind. I can see all of you". I then excused myself. Later her brother-in-law cornered me and told me that since I'm single now, I should expect that sort of behavior, and he thought I was rude. I could not figure out how I was supposed to reply and remain gracious. The brother-in-law did call me a couple of days later to apologize and said the guy was out of line. What was your response? Oops! Not from Georgia. My bad.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Knight in shining armour Posted: 5/28/2007 8:12:32 PM
Not looking for a good fixer-upper, thank you (My daddy used to say that men look for a perfect wife, and women look for a good fixer-upper). If they have recovered (or are recovering) from an illness, no problem. If however they are in "recovery" for any self-imposed illness, I'll pass, thanks.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

BUMPER STICKERS Posted: 5/28/2007 1:41:58 PM
Miss your ex? Re-load and try again!

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

If you suddenly became blind, how would your idea of the perfect mate change? Posted: 5/21/2007 6:48:23 PM
Well, obviously the appearance requirement would go away and I would then want someone that could cook, but I don't think much else would change. "Would you anounce it right away or would you ease into it?" (Sorry, I've never mastered the cool cut and paste.) Is the question: if I went blind would I announce it right away? I think that if I was suddenly blind it would be pretty obvious, but if not, yes I would announce it. As for dating, I think if I went suddenly blind, my plate might be a little too full.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Is this normal or not? Posted: 5/21/2007 6:36:06 PM
I do hope that you can see that she is not the problem here. You need to figure out what YOU are getting of this, and why you have so much energy to spend on an ex. This has obviously touched an emotional nerve and you need to figure out which one and why and work through the issue, which I would be willing to bet has nothing to do with her. The most important thing right now is to take care of yourself. Change something, and something will change.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Are plus-sized guys unattractive? Posted: 5/19/2007 9:11:09 AM
Define attractive. I have seen a lot of people (male and female) that are very overweight that I still think are attractive, but I would not want to have a SO relationship with a very overweight man. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy is attractive to me. If I am going to spend the rest of my life with a man, he must take care of himself. I will be honest and say that I've never really understood why someone would be very overweight. Is it really that hard to control what you swallow? It has not been my experience that men are more honest about their weight, in fact, it has been the opposite. I have seen literally hundreds of mens profile where they list their body type as "athletic". Maybe they were athletic in college, 30 years ago, but unless winning an eating contest qualifies as athletic, that ship has sailed. In talking to many of these men, I don't think they think they are lying. They actaully seem to see themselves as athletic.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Fair to open up in our profiles as to our likes and physical dislikes in a person Posted: 5/17/2007 7:27:59 PM
I already do. Why not? Just because I don't find some body types physically attractive, does not mean that everyone else agrees with me. If a man that is overweight reads my profile, he should understand that I would not be interested in an intimate relationship, so I would not spend my time getting to know him as a long term prospect. Seems if he's smart, he will skip me. Contacting me would not be a good use of his time. I do occasionally receive rant letters, and I can't help but wonder why they are not spending their time writing kind words to someone that may be interested in them.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Are some of the womens/mens standards to high? Posted: 5/17/2007 7:14:33 PM
Define too high. Look, the simple reality is I have had four significant relationships in my life, and know better than to "settle". I've been alone for well over two years now, and while I don't pretend to love it, it sure beats being in a lousy relationship. Imho, men that are sugar daddies, WANT to be sugar daddies, and girls that are looking for one, know for whom and where to look.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Does any one do any bush parties Posted: 5/17/2007 7:04:54 PM
What we called bush parties are just gatherings in any uninhabited area. Yup! Your mind was in the gutter. (teasing) Where I live bush parties are alive and well, but are simply called parties. One area is locally known as Coors Hill. Because we have a lot of farms and ranches here, farm/ranch parties are also pretty common. Oh, to be young again.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Bumping into POF in real life without dating Posted: 5/14/2007 8:36:52 PM
I live in a small town. I had been on POF for a few months, but hadn't met anyone online that I wanted to meet in real life, so was still wondering about the stories of people not being who they say they are. Anyway, I was at a political fund raising dinner and this man came up to me and asked me if I was on POF. I said yes, and he said he'd recognized me. I told him I was fairly new and didn't recognize him, but did write down his user name. When I looked him up? Wow! There was NO WAY I would have recognized him from his picture or his profile.

Kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Spousal Support Posted: 5/14/2007 7:04:19 PM
I very much resent being referred to as a “gold digger”, if spite of the fact that I receive, and will continue to receive, spousal support. I gave up a mortgage banking career (at 31, I was Sr. V.P. San Diego for a CA. bank) in the late '80s to stay home, and raise our children. In the mid '90's my husband opened up a business. The capital that went into the business was joint funds. Since I have the business background, and I wasn't working, I was the person responsible for jumping thru all the hoops to obtain the licensing, bonds, insurance, etc. I then worked for him, full time, for the first several months the business was opened and continued to act as compliance officer (unpaid). Fast forward a few years. Business is very successful. He was a very good provider for the kids, and me but I managed everything for him outside of his business. He had 100% of his energy to put into being a provider. In addition to raising three kids with a dad that was always out-of-town, I threw dinner parties, sat on committees, volunteered my time, and opened my home for charities to help him promote his business. Then he has an affair and I ask him to leave. Our annual income was mid six figures. I am now working again, making substantially less than any six figures. Is it reasonable for my ex to continue the lifestyle he was accustomed to, but for mine to fall dramatically? Regardless of what you think, the courts here in CA. believe that I am entitled to support (and fortunately the ex has been amenable) and because of the length of the marriage, the support is for the rest of my life, or until I remarry (now THAT is a valid reason to avoid marriage). Please do not assume that every woman (let's face it most the recipients of alimony are women) that receives support is either lazy or a gold digger. It is an insult to me and to any woman that is in my place.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

What is your definition of LOVE? Posted: 5/1/2007 7:05:34 PM
I'm going to quote Paul the apostle, because he said it best... I Corinthians 13:4-7 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Heavy on the ALWAYS. OK, now sugarsmacks, what is your definition?

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

fathers and kids Posted: 4/27/2007 8:51:23 PM
Compromise? Absolutely! But compromise having a gf and continue to spend your time with your kids. They are the living legacy you will leave so do your absolute best to guide them. Daughters especially need their daddy. Your daughters are going to learn about men, and how to relate to them from you, so it is imperative that you be heavily involved in their lives. The life that you give to your children is the life that you give to your grandchildren.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Major New Feature, Woman Only. Posted: 4/27/2007 8:42:57 PM
I want to play too.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Marriage Participation Posted: 4/19/2007 7:18:02 AM
She is your friend, so you should be there. Sometimes we all, including our friends, make poor choices. Friends don't judge, friends simply support. That is why they are our friends. Now, having a heart to heart chat with her about the choice she is about to make also falls in the catagory of "friend support", and THAT I would recommend.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

How do you take your Coffee...? Posted: 4/15/2007 10:47:33 AM
Very hot! Very strong! Lots of half and half (none of the chemically processed cream for me, thank you).

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Better safe than sorry? Posted: 4/15/2007 10:43:05 AM
My experience has been that the men that contact me are either way older, or way younger (I have only made first contact once as it is not something I'm comfortable with). Initially my thought was, "no way" am I dating some guy 15 years younger than me, then again, I was not attracted to the older men so I threw caution to the wind a couple of months ago. It was a good choice. I have not met the man of my dreams, but I have had some really fun dates with some very interesting men. I still prefer men that are at least in their late 30's, although I have had a couple of dates with a man in his early 30's, and I find him rather facinating. You don't have to be leary. Meet them for coffee and see what you think of them "in real life". If you don't think you're a good fit, so what? You've had coffee with some hot, young guy and that is really good for the ego

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

Going back to the Ex!!!! Posted: 4/15/2007 10:24:37 AM
I went back to an ex fiance after 12 years. We ended an 18 year marriage a couple of years ago. Would I do it again? No! Why? Because when I broke up with him, at the ripe old age of 19, it was because I could see who he really was. The 12 year separation somehow dulled that vision. I cannot tell you how many times in the last 9 or so years that we were together I wondered what in the hell I was doing with him. Yesterday the ex turned 50. Seems he suddenly decided that I should be back in his life again and has spent the last few days calling, and emailing me, telling me that he had screwed up his life and wanated to undo all his mistakes and pointing out all the GOOD things about our relationship; good things from his perspective. I finally told him to either stop or I was going to forward his emails to his gf. His response? But I love you! That and a couple bucks won't even buy coffee at Starbucks.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

I send a short story and get snippets back. Augghhhhh Posted: 4/15/2007 9:47:23 AM
How long have you been chatting with these women? If they are local, why haven't you met them? Maybe, just maybe, they don't think that sitting at a computer typing is a great way to get to know someone. Have you had a phone conversation with either of these women? Call them, talk to them, ask them to meet you, then you will know if they are interested or not. Step out from behind your monitor.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage??? Posted: 4/4/2007 9:45:27 PM
I'm sorry about your wife cheating on you, but I can't help but wonder why, if you are not divorced, and in fact considering reconcilliation, your profile lists your marital status as "divorced". As for taking your wife back, that is entirely up to you. I found myself in the same situation and there is no way I would have taken him back. Maybe I'm self-absorbed, but I have absolutely no desire to share my life and my love with a partner that cares so little about me. May God bless you in your decision.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Canning Posted: 3/25/2007 10:07:57 PM
I would love the receipe for the green tomato relish (sorry to use the thread, but your mail setting rejected me). Kimmie

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

Let's hear some good practical jokes and pranks you play on people Posted: 3/25/2007 6:32:42 PM
While going to college, I worked part-time in a real estate office where one of the agents was a jerk. I had access to his home address, which I copied and gave to the other agents. Every single postcard that we could find that said, "send no money now!", got sent in. The post office started requiring him to go to the post office to pick his mail up, which was a serious chore. For a couple months all he did is return crap he never wanted and and tried to get companies to stop billing him. Every day he would come in and regale us with his stories of life when you're on everyones mailing list. Still cracks me up.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

healthy child friendly meals Posted: 3/25/2007 11:03:26 AM
First, thank you for recognizing that your child may have a weight issue, and doing something about it. Hopefully someone else, in denial about their own childs weight issues, will see your thread, and decide to take action also. I agree with some of the posts about food being healthy, as opposed to simply being easy, with the understanding that there are many meals that are both. Try to eliminate processed foods and refined sugars as best you can. As for those high sugar cereals, they are an awful breakfast, but a really healthy dessert. My cut-off point was 12 grams of sugar. 12 or higher, dessert. 11 or under, breakfast. I also did NOT buy the no-sugar cereals. Why? Because the kids would pour eight ounces of sugar on six ounces of cereal. I also made it a point to serve dessert every night. It gave us all a chance to sit around the table and talk after eating and also motivated the kids to at least try everything I prepared (dessert was tied to trying new foods). The chicken receipe below is very easy to prepare and start to finish is an hour (and clean up is just as easy). When the chicken has been in the oven for about 30 minutes, put some broccoli on to steam (the sauce from the chicken is really good on the boccoli), and boil some water for oriental rice noodles, toss a salad with an oriental or papaya dressing. For dessert, keep a couple of cans of fruit in syrup in your freezer, open both ends of the can and force the contents into a blender or food processor. Instant sorbet. Now you have a quick, healthy, meal that kids love. HOISIN SAUCE CHICKEN ¼ C KIKKOMAN SOY SAUCE ¼ C DRY SHERRY OF MARSALA ¼ t GROUND BLACK PEPPER 2 GREEN ONION, FINELY MINCED 2/3 C HOISIN SAUCE (OR ENOUGH TO GIVE THE SAUCE THE CONSISTENCY OF CREAM) ½ t HOT PEPPER SAUCE OR ½ t CHILI PASTE GARLIC (OPTIONAL) 1 CHICKEN, CUT UP, OR 6 TO 10 CHICKEN PIECES Preheat oven to 400 deg. Mix all ingredients except chicken. Line a 13 X 9 inch baking pan with foil. Dip chicken pieces into sauce. Place chicken in pan and pour remaining over. Bake 45 min. or until chicken juices run clear when chicken in pierced with a knife. Bon appetit.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

The importance of friends Posted: 2/25/2007 8:53:42 AM
Friends are very, very important. 18 years ago I moved from a metropolis, where I had lived for most of my life, to a rural community several hundred miles away. For the first year or so different friends would come up some weekends and I would drive south some weekends. Not only had I left everything familiar behind, but I lived out in the middle of nowhere and the population was small. During that period I volunteered for several different positions, joined clubs, raised funds, anything that allowed me to meet people. I met hundreds of acquaintances and eventually made a few friends. The only person not worthy of being a friend, is a person that isn't a good friend. Friendships require time and energy, and like any relationship, have to be nurtured.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Dazed and confused Posted: 2/25/2007 8:24:24 AM
Smartest thing you can do? Say, "bye-bye".

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Who should throw the baby shower? Posted: 2/21/2007 8:46:30 PM
A shower should NOT be thrown by an immediate family member (mother or sister) unless the shower is for family members only. Otherwise, it is up to the friends, and second line family such as Aunts or cousins. As a sister-in-law it is acceptable for you to organize the shower. Where I live, baby showers are traditionally thrown before the birth of the child, but that question might be asked of the mother.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

is there something to say about when you meet someone? Posted: 2/15/2007 7:49:27 PM
I quickly learned that lunch, especially on a business day, is best. That it is lunch semi-defines the time frame at about an hour and a half, but if the person that you meet turns out to be interesting, it can extended (I have had a three hour lunch), however, if they are not, you can shorten it to an hour without appearing rude.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

Funny T shirts or Tattoos Posted: 2/13/2007 10:14:11 PM
I'm not a t-shirt wearer, but I have one that says "make yourself useful and wipe my butt". My youngest son wears, "no, I'm not insensitive, I just don't give a sh*t". I think it is way funny.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Allowance 4 kids Posted: 2/10/2007 8:50:38 AM
I have received several emails regarding my previous post on this thread, wanting to know how to determine how much a childs allowance should be. Depending on the age of the child, as a parent, you need to determine how much you normally spend on any budgeted item (ie: every other week your child goes to the movies with friends. $15.00 per week X 26 /12 = $32.50). You then give that amount to the child with the understanding that this is ALL of the money they are going to receive for the movies. By the time they are 15 or so, they should be in charge of their own budget (clothes, entertainment, etc.). It is important that they receive enough to maintain their current "lifestyle". If you normally spend $150.00 per month per child, do not try to give them $100.00 and then get upset when their money doesn't go far enough. Once the money is given to the child, it is the childs. Do NOT try to control their spending. Everyone makes financial mistakes, let them make theirs now. They will learn very quickly if all decisions are left up to them. When their finances crash and burn (and they will), love them, support their decisions and DO NOT give them an extra dime. I did have one occasion when my daughter was in Jr. High that I had to 'loan" her some money (we're talking a whole $20.00). I took her stereo as collateral and charged her interest - they can't learn about the real world if we insulate them from it. As for the "what are you going to do now?" speech, use it regularly, for everything, not just financial matters. A couple of nights ago, I ran into my youngest son in the grocery store. He had a SHOPPING LIST. When I asked about the list, he gave me one of those, "boy, moms are not very bright" looks, and anounced that, "you spend way less money and you buy food, not junk, when you shop with a list". They really do get it, eventually.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Most jobs dont want to hire someone over 40 Posted: 2/7/2007 5:20:17 PM
I returned to work six months ago, after a 12 year hiatus. I had anticipated some resistance because of my age. That was not the case at all. I had the distinct impression that employers were more interested in me, because I am older and more stable. I certainly do not plan on having more children, so a maternity schedule isn't something they have to consider. I live in an area with a very high unemployment rate (double digit - always), and within 3 weeks of sending my first resume out, I had 2 very good, and 1 so-so, job offers. It may, however, vary according to career.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Allowance 4 kids Posted: 2/7/2007 4:53:33 PM
My children received an allowance from the time they were about 2 or 3 through high school. When they were very young, their allowance was a couple bucks for them to spend on gum or a flashlight, etc. By the time they were in H.S., their allowance was $350. to $450. (inflation from the oldest to the youngest) per month. Out of that they had to pay ALL of their own expenses except school lunches, family meals out and vacations. If they wanted to go to the movies, cool. Expensive shoes? Great. Band camp, skiing passes, prom, whatever! If they had the money, they could go. If they didn't, well, they didn't. Their allowance wasn't a reward for doing chores - they lived in the house and everyone had to contribute. Their allowance was simply their portion of the household disposable income. I assure you, as a parent, I never had to argue with my kids about money. I have many friends that thought I was crazy to give my kids so much money, but their kids walked around with their hands out...$20. here, $40. there. They were nickeled and dimed until they were quartered. My children also learned valuable lessons about managing their money, when "money" was a few hundred dollars. I watched them make poor choices more than once (I've got that wide eyed look with "Wow. That sucks! What are you going to do now?", speach down pat), but now, as young adults, all are responsible (most of the time). The other benefit to the parent is you can build their allowance into your budget, so prom week, financially, for you, is like any other week.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

How do I handle a guy who is jealous? Posted: 2/6/2007 6:47:38 PM
You can already see that he is trying to isolate you. I've read enough to know that is a VERY BAD SIGN. Then "he goes on and on"? Put up with it? Why? Show him the door.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Anger - a waste of an emotion? Posted: 1/29/2007 1:13:58 PM
I've learned that when I get angry, it is not an emotion, it is a cover for the emotion that I've chosen not to deal with. I have to stop, figure out what is underneath the anger and deal with that. As soon as I'm able to identify the real issue, the anger is gone.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

what is your backround??? Posted: 1/26/2007 6:49:41 PM
1) I am a 2nd generation American with Italian/Polish origins. 2) Truth. 3) If someone that speaks three languages is tri-lingual, and someone that speaks two languages is bi-lingual, what are you called if you only speak one language? AMERICAN! Sad to say, I only speak English, but I am at least fluent. I can also limp through a simple conversation in Spanish. 4) Warm, funny, caring, shy but not very quiet. 5) Very special. I'm an only child and my parents were middle aged when I was born. I spent my early years in Louisiana, then moved to Southern California when I was 8. Our home was very proper (we dressed for dinner, "received" guests in livingroom, etc.), and we traveled a great deal. I've always felt very fortunate. 6) Truth. The willingness to be wrong or to admit an error. Strength of character (not a follower) and gentle.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

How long does it take for you to “size up” someone? How often are you wrong? Posted: 1/13/2007 6:02:01 PM
Very quickly and only rarely. When I am wrong however, I tend to be way off the mark.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Artichokes Posted: 1/12/2007 7:59:08 PM
Remove the tough outer leaves (say 3 or 4 layers) then use a spoon to scrape the middle (purple) leaves out. If you are braising them long enough before baking, make sure there is some liquid in the baking dish and that it is covered tightly.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

Would you date someone who is separated? Posted: 1/7/2007 7:34:21 PM
I agree with those that stated it depends on the reason. My ex and I, while legally separated, will remain legally married for two and a half to three more years. This is simply a mutually beneficial business arrangement. I will say, while I've seen it posted repeatedly, I do not understand not having the money for a divorce. If you don't have the money for an attorney, I'm going to guess there are no assets from the marriage, so use a paralegal. There are ads in every newspaper advertising for simple divorces, here in CA, for about $250.00.

kymicat

Joined: 5/21/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

What Do You Do To Teach Your Younguns To Deal with Life Peaceably?? Posted: 11/15/2006 6:08:16 PM
I have 3 "children", all adults now, and all 3 seem to on the right track. They were raised to understand that how they reacted to their environment was up to them, and that their response is the only thing that they can control. I refused to referee their arguments and the basic rules were 1) No yelling - we all live in the same house and no one wants to be subjected to yelling. 2) No hitting. We have the right to expect to be safe with each other. If I had to intervene both were grounded without regard to "who started it". Personal responsibility is key.

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