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merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Behaviors of men Posted: 11/23/2008 7:34:09 PM
OP, IVY! ("I Validate you") The sporadic hit and run dater. I recently went through something similar. He did it a couple of years ago, and then again! I do believe you, that he probably said alot of things to indicate mutual feelings. Perhaps you were in a bit of a hurry though. i think I was as well, and that never fares well...they sense paranoia and RUNNNNNN! Take a little more time next time, there are so many nice men out there and you'll meet another one, I promise. I was in the dumps about My erstwhile guy but am talking to new people already. Just take some time before you get emotionally invested to see that the actions are mirroring the words, KWIM? Cheers

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 116 (view)

The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No Posted: 10/29/2007 7:54:54 PM
The silent treatment is an awful way to deal with things. I dated a guy for over 3 months and he ended it by not telling me, letting me believe he was showing up that night, then stood me up and refused to talk to me after that. I admit I chased him a bit after that, and twice after that, he chatted me up online, made plane to see me and stood me up again! And refused to talk to me. he's on here. I know I can't say his name but his profile says things such as No time for dramaqueens, We girls are kidding ourselves, blah blah blah and the reason we're on here is that we can't get a quality date somewhere else, etc.... he lives in daytona beach, beware. anyhow, if you met once and just fade away, taht's understandable, even forgiveable, but after dating and intimacy...it's just wrong. Whew, I may get flamed but geesh, there's sucha thing as having morals and honor. Good luck! (Braces herself....)

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

Hurt and Confused!!!! Posted: 7/2/2007 8:05:47 PM
That sounds wise. I hope all goes well for you and you are a very strong and awesome lady! All the best for you!!

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

Hurt and Confused!!!! Posted: 7/2/2007 7:33:20 PM
Laydybugg... I've been reading these posts and my heart goes out to you. I have been through this type of situation more than once, I'm ashamed to admit. I know you're hurting and i don't want to add to that, but reality..... I think he was just softening the blow. He has most likely found someone else. Why won't he just tell you? because then he'd have to acknowledge being an Ass. and also, he probably doesn't want to close the door, in case the other option doesn't work out. please, If he calls you, do not take his calls. If you do , let him know you understand his position but this is what you want "...." . Don't be willing to settle for less. He can either step up, or go and be "scared" with someone else. I wish I had been strong enough before to do that. We have to believe that we really deserve to be adored and esteemed...otherwise who else will feel that way? Hugs and good luck! M

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

stringing you along for what? Posted: 6/11/2007 7:15:03 PM
I've had this happen to me as well, and it does sting. And yes, He probably is missing out on such a good thing but you know what? When people do this to others, I don't think they could care less at the time. If They were able to see beyond their own selfishness they wouldn't manipulate and hurt you in the first place. I have tried seeking answres but only encounter silence so I guess this is where I say "UNCLE" Guess we need to finer tune our Bullshit meters and develope thicker skin

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Still holding on... Posted: 6/5/2007 8:57:51 PM
When I was in my twenties I briefly dated a guy...He was still hung up on his ex fiancee, who had cheated on him. He expressed being torn as he had feelings for me but wanted to be friends. we hung out all of the time....but I was very much in love with him. I was unable to think seriouly about anyone else because he was a part of my every day life. I finally had to cut him off for 6 months or so. He ended up meeting someone and married her, and his wife and I became friends. I don't think I could have stayed friends with him if I hadn't taken that time to get over it , alone. Funny but evry so often I hear from him, his wife has passed away, unfortunately...and he told me a couple of years ago that he was in love with me for a long time. Too bad he didn't realize it back then, but we still have a great friendship. :)

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 75 (view)

Alone at the movies?? Posted: 6/5/2007 7:39:47 PM
I love going to movies alone. That doesn't mean that I don't also enjoy having company, but I am very comfortable going on my own. Sometimes my friends don't want to see what I want to and have been talked into seeing a different movie many times, so if i really want to see something...I just go. Of course, having a squeeze sitting next to you whispering in your ear can be oh so nice too... good times But as I am currently single the afternoon matinee then dinner with me and myself can be very relaxing, especially followed up with a latte at barnes and noble and some people watching .

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 97 (view)

The one thing you miss most when you are single Posted: 5/21/2007 6:29:21 PM
What I miss the most...hmmmmm Well not one thing in particular but I guess to start...I miss the laughing, having so much fun just being goofy. And then there's the kisses, and the late night sex, and waking up together wanting more... Nice

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Why Would Someone Say They Like You But Really Don't? Posted: 5/18/2007 2:44:36 PM
Yeah, I hear ya! I mean, people go on a dating website to meet someone, right? It shouldn't be considered a negative thing to care for someone and to have feelings for them. Isn't taht what we're all doing on here in the first place? to find someone suitable for us? It's really sad that you almost feel like you can't open up and let anyone know how you feel out of fear of them bolting..... I thought caring was a good thing....silly me. I guess if they do bolt, they were just the wrong person and don't deserve you. hang in there OP....I'm sorry to say but it does seem like she was keeping her options open..... hang in there

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

I miss him Posted: 5/14/2007 7:19:09 PM
I miss someone too. I know rationally that I shouldn't, especially considering how he ended thigs (he stood me up and wouldn't talk to me}. I know what he did was so wrong, but I miss certain things: kisses Lounging on couch or piled up in the bed drinking coffee and watching a cheesey movie on Sci-fi going to sonic for slushies holding eachother while sharing how our week went hearing him snorring (and boy did he snorr!!!!!) next to me Driving around in his new car singing along to the music and laughing Christopher Walken impressions, yes, they were hilarious.... alot of things...wonder if he evr misses these things, but oh well....guess wasn't meant to be :)

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 80 (view)

dumped by text Posted: 5/1/2007 4:17:53 PM
OP, I agree that dumping via text is oh so cowardly. it's almost as bad as not telling the person, just doing the "fade away..." or worse, standing them up than refusing to speak to them...... My last one did that. I would have rather had a text, however unacceptable that is, than a total blow off... but i realize now that he did me a favor. I see him in a realistic light now and know I could never give my heart to someone when I'd always be wondering when the next "blow off' was coming. You don't want to live that way honey. He must not have any self respect, much less respect for anyone else and that shows a flawed character. Run like hell and don't look back. You're better than that!!!! Cheers M

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right? Posted: 3/26/2007 6:30:09 AM
I felt like something was off with the last guy I dated, especially near the end, a feeling of being fooled somehow. There were a few times that I just got that weird feeling something was amiss, without definitive proof of anything...and i chose to ignore it. Boy I'll never do that again. My gut instincts have always proved right. you can't trust everyone no matter how sincere they may seem, But you have to trust yourself

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 267 (view)

What have you learned from having your heart broken? Posted: 3/23/2007 10:00:30 PM
I've learned so many things but the prime ones are that you have to have confidence in yourself. You can't let someone have the power to make you sad, or happy for that matter. I've learned that it's ok to take risks and if it doesn't work out that I will be ok. I have also learned to have better boundaries and If you have a gut feeling something is not quite right, then it's probably the case :) If someone doesn't exhibit consistant "into me" behavior...then I need to move on asap!

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 53 (view)

The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No Posted: 3/21/2007 10:42:36 AM
It seems internet dating makes it a little more difficult in some cases. It's like being in a candy store and people don't seem as jazzed about sticking with someone you like for a little and seeing if it could work out. It seems like there's a constant desire to "Trade Up"

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested? Posted: 3/20/2007 9:48:52 AM
It is unfortunate when this happens. I can only speak for myself but think i tend to be a bit too giving. If I care for someone I show it. I think alot of guys see it as needy and clingy. They want someone who treats them well yet somehow it's the Biotches that win out , at least has been my experience. It's really a shame that you can't be yourself and have to be on guard, afraid of scaring another one off by being to nice..... Well, I've recently learned that I have to have a tougher skin and not be so open and trusting so soon. Some people have dishonest intentions from the beginning, you just never know. Cheers

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested? Posted: 3/18/2007 9:39:31 AM
None of us want to be with someone who doesn't want us, I think that's a given. I believe it's more sadness and regret for what we hoped it would be. My most recent heartache has finally driven it home, you hove to be more careful and keep your cards to yourself much longer. I had one dissappear than come back. Thought things were going fine, then the "back handed break up". It hurts to find out you were probably choice #2 So lets all be more careful next time. Trust has to be earned cheers

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested? Posted: 3/17/2007 11:42:52 AM
I think the above poster is probably right. He probably started seeing someone else and it eneded up not panning out, hence him coming back. I'm sure he has some feelings for you to spend the time he has with you, but perhaps just not enough to stop looking elsewhere. I hope that's not the case Hun but chin up and be careful with your heart. Trust your instincts, wish I had done more of that myself . Happy St Paddy's day!

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No Posted: 3/17/2007 8:24:28 AM
I'll never understand it myself. Mine called me, said he was on his way here, less than half hour away. I was cooking a special dinner, he knew this. he no showed and has refused to talk to me since. He's active on here. Why would someone do that? Why not just say he wasn't coming in the first place. Why act like everything was hunky dory, calling me "Hun, Babes..." that's just so mean. We spent many weekends together and had alot of fun. He was talking about going on cruises for God's sake... Why be so cruel? It makes me crazy. I guess the answer is that these people are just devoid of morals or real feelings? Guess he found a "greener pasture". Felt like a fool for starting to trust him though, even thought I was starting to love him. Geesh Guess I'll pay better attention next time

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

The disappearing act? Posted: 3/15/2007 8:39:48 PM
Hey, now that's a great idea! Not only make it another wonder of the world...lets give it it's own tv show, like Chris Angel mind Freak..... Mandevil WeakFreak?

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No Posted: 3/15/2007 10:03:28 AM
I agree with alot of the previous posters that the silent treatment is just unacceptable. It you only had one date, although it is still tacky, it wouldn't be so bad. It's so much worse when you've been dating a while, have been close then they give you the silent treatment. It hurts like nothing else. I wonder if the people that routinely do this have had that happen to them? It makes you wonder sometimes because surely if they had experienced the hurt this causes you'd think they'd think twice , maybe have a little conscience. Most likely they were keeping us on hand until they found "something better?" and there really is no reasonable explanation. "gee Hun sorry i stood you up with no explanation i just found someone sexier than you" I mean who's going to come out and say that. And they don't have to face up to being morally bankrupt.

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

The disappearing act? Posted: 3/14/2007 6:27:07 AM
You're right smileygirl, I'm trying not to be bitter. and he is an emotional retard for sure. I know there are alot of nice guys out there. I do basically think most people are good and capable of loving relationships and of being faithful, but there are some who are just shallow, especially in their emotions, or lack of. I just wish i could warn other ladyfish on this site as he's very active. Hmm watch out for those teacher/soldier/am emotionally literate (hahaha funny) types. but such is life. I heard a saying before that God takes care of his own, that sounds pretty good to me!

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

The disappearing act? Posted: 3/13/2007 6:40:48 AM
I guess it is better to find out now what someone's truly like. I tried getting an answer from mine, afetr all I felt I was entitled to one after sharing intimacy, spending alot of time together, but to no avail. Why do I do this to myself. I suppose we want to see the good in people and want to believe others are caring human beings like we are. But alas this experience has shown me that some people are just bottom feeders not worthy of any more of my time or thoughts. and Yes, karma always comes around to bite these people in the end, like the 3-fold law..... blessed be

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

The disappearing act? Posted: 3/11/2007 7:56:53 AM
Sorry OP to hear that. Well , my guy (well he's not my guy anymore, hehe) isn't in the hospital or incapacitated, was on here late last night and removed me from his favorites list and himself from mine. What a cowardly and childish person. He obviously has some mental issues, i mean come on, telling me he's on his way, letting me go to all the trouble cooking something nice and knowing I'm sitting here waiting and that he's not going to show.... I'm sorry, that's mental cruelty. WTF. My guess is that he found another fishie to play with , probably wanted me to be available in case his other fishie didn't work out, hence not being up front about the fact he wasn't coming. I'm sure he may read this post but who cares. He's too much of a coward to face me and talk to me about what his problem is so who cares what he thinks...he's the jerk-off. Really tired of this crap, think i need to take a break. Will definitely pay more attention for any red flags next time, Hard to trust anyone really. chin up everyone! M

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

The disappearing act? Posted: 3/10/2007 10:04:27 PM
Well, i should have said this before, but this happened last weekend, he said he was on the way, never showed...supposedly got in a minor accident, couldn't find his phoen till next day, yada yada yada. like a fool i chose to forgive him and give him another chance.... but this weekend makes me feel pretty naive and foolish. I smell something rotten in denmark! To th OP, i hope there is a reasonable explanation, but i'm finding it's usually a lack of manners and conscience that is the reason. Chin up, we'll be fine!! Damn i just wish i hadn't made all that fondue. my fondue rocks...i know what I'm having for lunch tomorrow!!!

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

The disappearing act? Posted: 3/10/2007 9:12:58 PM
Probably the cowardly lion rearing his head. I'm feeling rather jaded myself. my supposed sweetheart that i've been seeing for a while now has jsut stood me up. now he could be in the hospital, i've been worried sick all night, but you know, when i try calling his phone goes right to voicemail. when i spoke with him just after 6 he was on his way here suppsedly, he was a half hour away, if he was telling the truth. Well, no call, no show, when i called just got voicemail. i do hope he is ok, i don't want for him to have gotten in an accident as i care for him a great deal, but i have realized i don't need the added stress. I have alot of stressers in my life an dating should be fun. Hang in there, as I will too. I can't really see any explanation or excuse except hospitilization and being unconscious being acceptable at this point, But I guess it's best to know now, if someone has so little regard for your feelings, right? I mean it's the disrespect that i cannot take anymore. Hang in there hun. he doesn't deserve you Hugs M

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

Gah .. competing for attention... with my cat Posted: 2/8/2007 7:42:18 PM
I really love these pet stories too! I have 2 cats, but my tabby, Tallulah can be quirky at times, she's really sweet but can hiss at people for no reason...anyhow....I've been seeing a guy for a couple of months and from the first time he came here, she layed in his lap belly up. She has since started trying to "Knead" some of his personal belongings, especially his wallet if he leaves it out (she likes leather, my shoes, purses...likes to get her scent on them i guess...) she will sit pretty on his lap with her paws hanging over his leg, when we're sitting on the couch..and i think it's sweet. She has turned into a total sweetie all around....I think cats have a innate ability of sussing out if someone is "good people" I had a boyfriend years ago that was jealous of attention i gave my cat, and I'm not weird about it by any means! Your cat loving your girlfriend is so cool, she is obviously "good people" :)

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

How could he just walk away... Posted: 12/30/2006 8:34:35 AM
Dave, Dr Phil couldn't have said it better. It is disheartening when someone who seems to want a relationship can't have the respect or communication skills to let somsone know if it's not working out. Yes it hurts to hear it but that person would at least have my respect. When I experienced this recently I was Upset at first. Tried emailing, calling , got nothing but silence. Perhaps he met someone else, maybe he got scared....it could have been anything but sometimes Silence is the answer. Too bad, I liked him alot, won't regret anything but You'd think after spending quality time with someone that they would have enough regard for you to tell you it was over, so at least you have closure. There's nothing worse than being left holding the bag so to speak, wondering what on earth did I do.... The expression "Do unto others..." really does apply but unfortunately it's not widely followed. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back out there. I went out on a coffee date last night, had fun so try not to wallow in the sadness you feel. You will get over it OP. just be more guarded next time. A relationship takes time to develope, it's not a race Good luck and Happy newyear. Put on your party dress and go out and have some fun! M

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

How could he just walk away... Posted: 12/29/2006 7:07:58 AM
Excellent advice Heartwinners. It makes it all the more hurtful when you have "gotten naked" with the person then they just decide to cease communication. Unfortunately alot of men and women do this. I have learned to be wary if They seem oh so into you right from the start, Like a fast burning candle.....the intense flame can melt it too quickly. I read something called "the gift of Goodbye" once, I reccomend Googling it.... I belive some of it went something like this, paraphrasing mind you: When people can walk away from you they do it because they are not joined to you. I want you to stop asking people to call you, come see you, care for you....Hang up the phone...... So sorry you are hurting OP but we've all been there and you will get over it, trust me. I recently had similar experience (though i certainly wasn't "in love" yet) and I've already been asked out on dates by 2 other guys..... get back in teh game sweetie...it will all be ok . Hugs M

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 305 (view)

Why do men do the diappearing act? Posted: 12/25/2006 9:10:10 PM
I've had this happen more than once unfortunately, And when after a few days of leaving messages, emails, etc that they just cease communication. It does make you feel foolish and like an ass. But I've learned a valuable lesson, just recently. DO NOT send that indignant email. All that does is make you look like an unhinged needy person and even though we know we're not , you were just hurt, some things are better left unsaid. It's a learning experience for sure

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

I started with a really good heart Posted: 12/24/2006 7:03:06 PM
Christmas is a wonderful time of year but at the same time can be so stressfull. My heart goes out to you and I wish you some peace and serenity tonight. Hang in there. My best wishes to you

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

Where are all the good guys? Posted: 12/23/2006 11:10:29 AM
I think you have the right idea. When someone seemingly nice suddenly exhibits not so nice behavior it's all to easy to just say "Ok, you aren't a nice guy at all" and write him off. I've been guilty of doing that myself, probably a defense mechanism, but it happens, we're human. I like the shorcircuite theory. Even the nicest person can go a little off sometimes, but It probably wasn't intentional. I still have faith that there are more nice guys than mean guys out there. Maybe they just get confused. So don't give up, when a door closes a window always opens up somewhere...Or so that's what Maria said in the Sound of Music, adn we all know that is gospel!

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

New Beginnings - Joyful or Stressful Posted: 12/22/2006 8:48:15 PM
That rings so true. The beginning stages of a new relationship are always fun, exciting, those googlie eyed moments, the first kiss....... But there is a level of stress involved, but I think we bring alot of that on ourselves. Especially at the point where you realize you may actually really like someone alot....that's wonderful, but can be scary as well.....I think we do poison things sometimes out of simple fear of getting your heart broken again, the fight or flight thing maybe? Something I still need to work on myself, but heres to great new beginnings

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 301 (view)

Does ignoring a guy really get his attention? Posted: 12/22/2006 8:07:15 PM
Oh no, you weren't ignoring her were you?? hahahahahaahhaha. I think if this is a person you are trying to get to know, that definitely no to ignoring them as a ploy to get their attention. I think it's good to send out the "i'm interested" vibe, but then hopefully they will do their part too. To the previous poster who ignored the ambivalent boyfriend then couldn't get him to stop calling her..... Have had that happen and was a "watch what you wish for" situation for sure. think there's some truth to wanting what you can't have eh? but what the hell do I know. and where are the bonbons.....now I have a real crisis

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 291 (view)

Why do men do the diappearing act? Posted: 12/22/2006 1:58:04 PM
I agree with what you're saying and you're right...perhaps i misphrased that there will never be an answer that makes sense. There is always a reason and perhaps we really don't want to know what it is deep down. And yes, Some people just don't knowb how to treat others with kindness and respect. and true, it doesn't make them evil, perhaps just misguided. but oh well, Worrying too much is bad for our complexions anyhow, who needs it! Next!

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Dates that Turn Out Well Posted: 12/22/2006 10:16:54 AM
I met a guy from here and our first date ended up lasting for hours and seemed like it was only one or 2. the 2nd date ended up lasting 24 hours, we just talked and talked. It was really nice. Unfortunately it seems it's not going to work out after all, but I certainly don't regret spending time with him and will always remember those "never-ending dates' as very nice indeed.

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 289 (view)

Why do men do the diappearing act? Posted: 12/22/2006 6:26:30 AM
I think also that we should not beat ourselves up. I tend to 2nd guess myself and pick myself apart. I think to myself "oh God i shouldn't have sent all those texts or messages, I must have scared him away...blah blah blah" in my case he had been sick and i was truly concerned when he just wouldn't answer.... But you know girls and boys? (Yes, women do the disappearing act too) It doesn't matter. Someone that's into you will want to communicate with you no matter what. they won't ignore you. Whether it's a new relationship or an established one consideration and kindness still applies. But don't beat yourself up for thinking there was something between you and now being confused. He behaved in a way to make you beleive that. That's their MO. Just try not and do the "Naked Pretzel" too soon in the relationship...it's more embarrassing when they go "poof" santa will make it all better xo

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 288 (view)

Why do men do the diappearing act? Posted: 12/21/2006 7:35:39 PM
there will never be an answer. Not one that makes sense. I recently dated someone and things moved a little fast, but he was actively pursuing things, yet now he won't return emails or phone calls. you wonder why are they acting like this...it really doesn't matter...it's just wrong. i think what matters is how we wish to be treated. if someone treats us like crap, the reason doesn't matter, just what they did. I think we need to care more about ourselves , after all no one else will protect your heart but you. all the best

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 881 (view)

who pays for dinner? Posted: 11/15/2006 12:45:17 PM
I guess I'm a little old fashioned, but It used to be that a man wouldn't consider asking a woman out if he couldn't afford to pay......i can see splitting costs in an established relationship, I'm not a gold digger but when man is trying to win me, so to speak....If after asking ME out he asked me to split the bill that would be the first and last date. I may get alot of flack for this but i also feel if One of the partners involved make more money but is the one always wanting to go out and do stuff, then they should not expect the person who makes less money and may have financial restrictions to pay as much. But that's another thread all together! I'm sorry, I think it comes down to a matter of class. A man who asks a woman out then doesn't want to pay for her dinner shows me alot about his character, or lack thereof...... call me crazy.....

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

This will no longer be my downfall.....takers take notice. Posted: 11/8/2006 8:31:09 AM
I love the Op's post and I'm with you girl! I too have realized that when you realize that you are the only one who cares about the relationship, the only one who is willing to make that special effort, then sadly it is time to go.....I am the most generous giving person, but If I see its not being reciprocated after a while....time to move on. I'm really careful now to pay attention to things and not ignore that kind of behavior any more, Good post and enjoy those spiffy new shoes!

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

Guys who push too far too fast. Posted: 11/4/2006 6:15:21 PM
Well, I just got an email from him saying basically he was still at work and found out he had to work tomorrow and sorry had been looking forward to it, nothing more. (probably too chicken to call me and say that ) I replied that it was ok but I think I would be better suited with someone closer by no hard feelings and good luck to him....... you know once you get that "off" feeling it's hard to shake it and this situation feels familiar to me..... I think we get these feelings for a reason. I've regretted not listening to that inner voice before. but hey, No harm, no foul! Next!

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Candle Light Dinner, romantic or impractical?? Posted: 11/4/2006 5:36:29 PM
Oh that is so cool, a medeival castle....swoon. I love candle lit meals. I have wall tea lite sconces right by my table and it looks so cool when all lit, almost church like........ and you can always sit next to eachother to avoid knocking candles over when kissing...and easy dinner for DUMMIES....get the roast beef or beef tips already premade, sautee w/ olive oil and shallots and a shot or 2 of port wine or cabernet... healthy dose of garlic... they'll never know you didn't slave all day.... roast red taters w/rosemary garlic and parsley...... he will be yours I tell ya. I'm all about the ambience, and desert....mmmmm how about whipped cream and brandie soaked cherries??? sorry, I'm a foodie... but nothing more romantic than sharing a candle lite dinner with your squeeze

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 207 (view)

Does ignoring a guy really get his attention? Posted: 11/4/2006 4:15:53 PM
Do you mean Ignorring someone you have been dating for a while, when it seems their interest is waning? I have to admit (blush) that I have tried this tactic before. There is a website actually called Love Tactics, has anyone ever checked it out? I did try the tactic of not being so available for a while and waiting longer to return his calls (as his calls were becoming less frequent, by the way) It did work for a while. He seemed to have a renewed interest in me, for a while, but then it waned again and ultimately faded away. It's a shame to have to resort to such "tactics" and You always have in the back of your mind "do I have to keep this up forever to keep his interest?" I guess it ties in with the wanting what you can't have idea. Obviously If you have to ignore someone for a while to win back their attention they are not the One, because the One wouldn't ignore us in the first place, me thinks. Oh what a tangled web we weave.......

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 64 (view)

Dating men who have never been married Posted: 11/4/2006 3:40:43 PM
I hear this from alot of friends..... "he's 45 and never married? there must be something wrong with him...." well, I'm 40 and never married, so does that mean there is something wrong with me? In my case, It's not that I don't want that, I do with the right person, but I really haven't found the right guy yet. There were times I thought maybe I had, and was heartbroken when It didn't turn out that way but you keep on bouncing back. I do think however that there are some men out there (and women as well) that become to used to being on their own, too much in there own box, and they have trouble adjusting anything in their lives to truly allow someone in. they may be mad about you but when it comes down to it they are unable to surrender the control so to speak. lets face it. When you decide to have a relationship with someone, there has to be some amount of compromise and adjusting your space. You do have to think about the other person's feelings and how your actions might affect them. Sadly there are some people who may have been single too long and can't seem to take that leap of faith. I hope that's not what happens to me !

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 75 (view)

Guys who push too far too fast. Posted: 11/4/2006 3:07:15 PM
I hear you, But I think the main point I'm trying to make is there are some people who get all warm and fuzzy romantic on the phone, perhaps even too familiar for someone you've not met in person yet...Then when it comes down to actually meeting and following through suddenly they're nowhere to be found. Possibly one of the hazards of online dating I guess. This guy called me all week, and we were supposedly definitely going out tonight, we just hadn't discussed times, logistics, etcetera......... I'm sorry, It is strange for someone who was so "gun ho" about it to just not call the day of the supposed date. It seems obvious to me that there is something not quite right about it. It's after 6pm now and he has yet to return my call from this am, and it's fine with me. I'm not upset after all. I'm not expecting a guy to be a mind reader, but it is a matter of courtsey. I definitely won't be making it my #1 priority to communicate with him in the future

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

Guys who push too far too fast. Posted: 11/4/2006 12:30:03 PM
Hahahahaha...maybe it is! except mine lives in Orlando ...... but wouldn't that be funny!!!! BUt how do you know where they really live right? maybe he really lives in Nigeria......

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

Guys who push too far too fast. Posted: 11/4/2006 11:34:10 AM
Ok, here's my question. I've been talking to this man I encountered on another site, for about 3 weeks now. He has been calling alot, we have nice talks, seem to have similar senses of humour, etc..... bUt It kind of bothers me when he calls me sweetie....says I'm making his heart thump, etc...I mean we haven;t met yet. We were supposed to meet last saturday and his car broke down. Now were supposed to go out tonight but he hasn't called today.. He did call yesterday am but I didn't get the message right away and was running around all day preparing for a princess house party last night...anyhow... I emailed him last night that I was sorry I didn't get back w/him but that I'd call this am which I did. it's 2:30 now. If he thinks we're meeting tonight is it odd that he wouldn't check his cell ph to see if I called? wouldn't he be calling by now to confirm? Sorry to ramble but I am starting to feel like he's an all talk no action guy and maybe he's involved and is just playing.... I hope I am wrong but he did mention once that if our date went into the late hours maybe he could sleep on my couch (he lives an hour away) and I told him I don't do that, especially the first time meeting...... (i was a little offended actually that he would even ask, but dismissed it) But now I'm starting to think it may be all a come on..... So what time should I become "unavailable" today if he should call later....I mean I'm not going to be one of those make a date with me at the last minute types. I have better things to do.... So what's a girl to do, geez!

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

I WANT MY EX TO LEAVE ME ALONE Posted: 11/2/2006 10:06:01 AM
OP, If you do not stop engaging in conversations with your Ex then you like the attention and drama. I hate to seem mean but this is one of those DUHHHHHHHHHHHH moments. the answer is so blatantly obvious that when I saw the original post for a minute I thought it was a joke. For real Girl, start thinking w/your intellect not you emotions, it's easy to see.

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 133 (view)

Be truthful, guys about this one please Posted: 10/18/2006 9:04:04 PM
Why thanks Mr Loner. relationships are so crazy....I'm searching for the calm soft place to fall, as I'm sure we all are deep down

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Biggest Red Fags Posted: 10/18/2006 6:28:41 PM
Red Flags... Hmmm, lets see: waits 5 days or more to call between dates Suddenly starts being available every OTHER weekend - Hmmm gee what could they be doing? making lawn furniture? keeps saying there's no need to rush, we'll get there..... If I'm so awesome, what are you waiting for? Doesn't return your call for at least 24 hours when they used to email you back/ call back within the same day or evening. So many red flags, so little time

merriemoe

Joined: 5/25/2006

Msg: 131 (view)

Be truthful, guys about this one please Posted: 10/18/2006 5:47:02 PM
You know, I used to want to know WHY when things liek this have happened. It especially hurts when you've been dating for a couple of months or more. I have come to realize that most likely they probably had someone else they were interested in that became available, and yes They just weren't into me enough. I always wanted to know why, wanted an answer. But do we really want to hear "I'm sorry, my other girlfriend is just sexier than you" ?? I don't think we really need to or do we truelly want to hear that. So yes, Now It doesn't matter why they do it, just that they did. The right guy won't do that. If they really care nothing would keep them away, or so I've been told!

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