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Thread: When you LOVE and HATE someone? What does it mean?

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

When you LOVE and HATE someone? What does it mean? Posted: 11/16/2009 8:57:11 AM
It can happen. Sometimes you feel a strong sense of euphoria when someone is around and so you love them and lose your mind over them but something happens perhaps you got angry over something or some emotion involving fear got a hold of you and so you hate them perhaps when you realize they are human and could be gone or die just like that despite being your reason for living stuff like that. Because something so natural could end up depriving you. I am sure love evokes strong emotions which are also attached to our fears so no wonder it is such a scary battlefield. It also makes sense that people would fight or even think about injuring their loved one human beings can behave like gods or monsters we are bundles of energy who knows what can set us off. The subconscious is an untouched mass of mystery alot about our own selves is unknown to us.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

50 First dates...would you do it? Posted: 5/15/2008 12:16:23 PM
What can you do people walk away from love all the time. They may regret it later when they realize what all they have lost but they have to figure it out on their own. And who's to say when they come to their senses that you will be around or available. Maybe she's an adult child of an alcoholic. Even even if they don't drink they can sustain damage. Maybe she's trying to spare you because she can't give love like she thinks you deserve or she's just afraid of intimacy. Alot of people are. You can't put your life on hold and you control yourself only so you can only let go. Why be in pain. Desire creates suffering when you don't get what you desire so it is best to desire nothing. Esp when you have no control over outcome perhaps you should also not have much attachment to the outcome. It isn't real after all just a thought. It isn't within your power so recognizing your powerlessness can be liberating. The past the future they can't touch you when you are in this present moment. And for now you can only live in the present because it is here. It is what you have for sure only NOW.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 404 (view)

Do women really want a nice guy? Posted: 5/15/2008 11:55:55 AM
A nice guy can be adventurous with his hobbies and such. Maybe he's sexually not adventurous but he can learn. That's not the worst thing. In my experience the worst thing about some nice guys is their lack of backbone or not standing up to people who insulted you or who insulted them. But I've still not walked away for those reasons. I walked away because of disrespect took me for granted things like that. I think nice guys don't think well of themselves and after a while if you are still around they wonder what is wrong with you. How come you're still here. How come you're not using me.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 403 (view)

Do women really want a nice guy? Posted: 5/15/2008 11:33:45 AM
I posted that comment 3 years ago but it is still true now. I met this nice guy. He's supposedly shy. It wasn't traditional dating he treated me like a friend and I did too. We were close but he asked me out I ended up liking him. He treated me well a perfect gentleman etc we went on vacation. I was happy he said he was happy. We were even happy in complete SILENCE with each other. That is rare. I gave him plenty of space he thought I was sweet etc he said I was nice for giving him the time of day :/ Okk. Then he didn't call as much and I withdrew also. I mentioned to him the next time that he didn't call me. He told me that I could call him. I didn't like the way he expected me to just come over at his convenience. I called once but not again. So he didn't call me so I guess it is over. I guess it didn't mean much to him after all. I guess what he said in the beginning 'Just give me a chance to take you out and treat you right. I want to see you for a long time' was not true. He was calling for 2 weeks just to go out with me because I wasn't wanting to go out at the time. Only for 3 months he forgot to add. He was ok with letting it all go yet he said 'Women are afraid of commitment'. I wonder how some people look at themselves in the mirror after lying to themselves. This is the same guy who said he wants 'drama free' but he's the one with all the drama. You can just tell by his previous relationships even the women didn't do any wrong. They were trying to figure out what to do. But he hates them because they left. I know why they left because of his extreme detachment and coldness. Some guys play the game well enough they fool you into believing that they never cared anyway and they get mad at you because you didn't throw yourself at them. What an awful thing to do. A good companion would have been nice but not at the cost of everything else. How often do people really connect not often enough. Yeah women want a nice guy but no wonder they stop caring after a while. Nice guys are unpredictable. At least the jerk is predictable. The people you don't want always want you which means if you want nice guys they won't want you only their con artist friends will.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 136 (view)

Guys asking to meet with you immediately Posted: 5/15/2008 8:26:25 AM
I don't know about that but I've spoken to people for a while online and met them all it did was make me more comfortable. Maybe you don't want to date RIGHT AWAY you want to take your time and get to know someone. But I'm sure that is not the approved dating style. Not all girls are whores/sluts jailbait chicks although it does say the rate for STD's is high for people online who are more promiscuous/less cautious. I like internet dating because you get to know people and nobody is breathing down your neck. The distance is nice. Maybe you don'tt want to get dragged to bed right away. I agree about meeting people in person that is probably best. Just bring mace is all. As soon as I find out where to buy it...

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 393 (view)

Do women really want a nice guy? Posted: 3/26/2008 2:46:06 AM
>Women dont want predictability and thats what most nice guys tend to be. They have >no sense of loss, there not scared of kicking you to the curb because theres a million >others groveling men at there feet. No predictable is good but you won't find that. Guys aren't what they appear to be...it is just a mask to get your guard down. After two months of bliss and opening doors for you and pulling out chairs and being wonderful you discover something. This guy is not REAL. You realize one day when you are crying yourself to sleep every night you'll wonder why you are so lonely. Because he COLD and has no feelings. One day he will turn his back on you and say the most HORRIBLE things and then you will find yourself in a padded cell. YUP I think I would prefer a guy who was screwed up in a different way. Perhaps he is bizarre that is ok. Maybe he has tantrums...could be because he cares. As long as he is loyal and affectionate he can be whatever else. Woman have needs btw and I wonder if men even care. Most of the time they just want what they can get and they move on they don't care about where you are at in your life. Nice guy isn't so nice... that is an act. It is some type of Murphy's law a guy will only be nice if you an alcholic or if you beat him daily or you restrict him. In my experience the more you respect someone's space and try to be generous the more of an Azzhole they become. Yeah..when all else fails stay single and sane. Men and their drama pfffttt

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

50 First dates ... would you do it? Posted: 2/15/2008 8:01:52 PM
nonesense. In some cases being a good lover just happens naturally. Some people inspire strong feelings and maybe you have such good companionship you're not about yourself all the time

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 372 (view)

Do women really want a nice guy? Posted: 2/15/2008 7:01:02 PM
But does this nice guy ask you out? How will you know he is interested if he doesn't? I have been single for long periods of time always waiting for the right guy but he isn't the one who asks me out. It is always some loser who is married or who wants a friends with benefit thing or someone who wants sex in exchange for something but he is nice for the first 2 months to throw me off. And then when I am unavailable because I hate him he thinks it is a game. I know women can be just as cruel but I never was. I never took out on one guy what another guy was responsible for. I didn't even want to date anyone new at some point because I didn't want to hurt some new guy who was innocent in all this. I still left the possiblity open that a nice guy could exist. Only time will tell and clearly he will get the best of everything. Maybe nice guys and girls just hang out at home or do other stuff because they gave up. The disappointment was too much.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 371 (view)

Not generalizing. Posted: 2/15/2008 6:53:16 PM
I've always wanted a nice guy but I probably have only met 2 in my whole life. I didn't believe that they existed because guys will be nice for a little bit in the beginning and then they will pull the rug out from under you. This is very painful and you are always afraid it is going to keep happening so you don't want to get in too deep with anyone. So it is easier to be with someone you don't care about too much. He has to show up for you to believe in him or else he is like the unicorn...you hear stories but there is no proof.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 383 (view)

People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think? Posted: 12/21/2007 3:32:52 AM
< My life as a child was a nightmare, and so were the lives of my brother and sister. I'm so glad you slipped that in there. That's the reality. My mother always talks about the happiest day of her life was when I was born. She had a funny way of showing it

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 381 (view)

People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think? Posted: 12/21/2007 3:22:30 AM
Well you can get married but you don't have to have children do you? I'm surprised that alot of guys seem to want children probably because they don't plan on being home much. Ahh but the situation doesn't have to be right in front of them thanks to the patch and the pill. It is free now you don't have to rely on an abortion...another painful process. Why subject your body to either abortion or pregnancy. Life is hard enough why not just be kinder to yourself. It is all ok now you don't even have to have sex you can be different why not isn't this the land of freethinkers? Giving birth is totally gross not to mention PAINFUL I would only be willing to have a child if the man has to go through all that. Maybe if he had to do all that he would be invested in it. One thing that turns me off is unfairness and I've seen it all over..once she has children he doesnt have to be nice to her anymore. Where is she going to go? And then maybe he'll in a few years he'll start slapping her around to drive the point across and then she'll have no choice but to stay until they're in school, grown up etc. Why should she be in his power? Like I said people suck and if you ever create a situation where you can't escape from them and just MOVE there will be tough times ahead

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 380 (view)

People that don't have~nor EVER want kids..what do you think? Posted: 12/21/2007 3:07:25 AM
Beautfiul little creatures? Wow I wonder what parent would say that. First I would like to point out that you have to be RESPONSIBLE that is hard. You have to have tons of money you want to be a good parent . You have to pick a guy that you will be in contact with the next 18 years someone who won't p$ss you off. Have you seen what is available out there? Needless to say I don't want to raise any kids on my own. Selfish for not wanting children?? How could that be? Your children can be your pets or your legacy or your hobbies. I don't want to carry on my blood-line because I am being realistic. I don't want to be the type of parents I had I don't want to subject someone to the pain of that type of situation. And I don't want to deal with the stress and look around this world really really doesn't hit the mark. If you haven't noticed people SUCK it isn't hard to figure out why some people become rich...to avoid having to deal with sht. OMG do you not see the world for what it is. This is not my home...I want no part in it. I will learn all I cn about what interests me and then I will voluntarily die out. Think of it this way I love my potential kids enough not to subject them to such an ignorant world where they will probably have to sell their soul to be true to themselves. FCK IT I say your optimism is way out of place. Check out Europe sometime there's a reason they don't procreate so much...they don't have hope that it will be a wonderful world because it isn't. There are many people who are in pain right now...they are in foster care they are homeless they were kids once. Now that they have grown up we are supposed to stop caring about them. It doesn't work that way. No life you bring into this world will be safe when you have such misery and pain around us. I have pets and even they irritate me sometimes and I love them alot. I am 28 and my clock will not be ticking

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Do bait guys have any effect Posted: 12/21/2007 2:35:20 AM
>I feel like I have spent the last 5 months shying away from other opportunities >bucuase wanted him to see he was the priority for me. You would think right? Nope. Are men and women even mentally compatible? Evolution has mde it almost impossible. They are supposed to be hunters and we are gatherers they just don't understand us or they don't care to. If someone I liked let opportunities go because of me I would have picked that person. But some people just like to spit on that like it is a weakness. I don't like this dog eat dog world I'm going to go crawl back under my rock

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

Do bait guys have any effect Posted: 12/21/2007 2:27:35 AM
>But bait guys? My experience is that it backfires. the guy you want assumes youve >moved on and then you cant get rid of the bait guy. It works if you want the guy bad enough. Is he special to you or something? Then if you found someone that you really want you are halfway there. Guys feed off competition esp when you are not trying if more than one guy is trying to get the same girl sometimes they fight and do ridiculous things. I think it is like a bonding experience similliar to a guy activity thing that they do. Like sports...haa lets see which one of us will win this girl over. Which one of us is BETTER. They don't even have to like the girl it is probably just fun for them. Yeah men think that things that aren't fun are. Like having sex with someone you don't know...it isn't fun it is invasive it is awful. Ugh..if only you knew what that was like from a girls point of view. It is dangerous...you could fall for someone that could really offend your conscience and consequently undermine you as a person. Someone you don't want to like. Men seem to live dangerously and men and women are definitely different.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Do bait guys have any effect Posted: 12/21/2007 2:18:36 AM
>OP Why play games to catch a person that is not ready to commit? That's true. It is like you are cheating yourself out of something. I've been in this same exact situation and I just lost interest in the guy even if he was good looking and great in bed and all that and he liked me for all the right reasons ie liking my quirks. But despite all his charmisma and magnetism he never gave me the impression of security or safety or even communicated the things that mattered. I had alot of questions when I was over there but I never asked because I didn't want to know the answer. If he had treated me differently I wouldn't have had questions so I assumed the worst. It is true that if you are a female you get attached after sex but not when you really think about it. He has nothing to offer he's just a way to medicate pain or something like that because you aren't supposed to want this guy. Because you are really using each other you have to remember that. They call it a booty call. I tried to drive him away because I started mirroring his own behavior after I realized he's always falling asleep during movies but he wants to have sex all night ..calling him only when I wanted something. He didn't like it he hasn't seen me for a while. Maybe because I stopped thinking of him as a person everything is an aside other than sex so why do I even have to care about him? I don't. Love, feelings? Pfft I have more feelings for my cat who spends time cuddling with me. What is he worth really? He's just a headache and what pisses me off is I never wanted to be a fling but guys don't care they don't tell you the whole story.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Warning sign from a date? Posted: 12/21/2007 1:56:35 AM
Showing off? She might be self centered. I think how much you tip is your business and she was totally out of line seeing that this is a first date and you aren't married. It would be one thing if you are taking food from your kid's mouthes or something but you've already said you can afford it. I would like a generous tipper because generousity and kindness itself are rare to find in people. I am a big tipper also esp if the food was good and the service was excellent. Why not. I think fighting so early is a bad sign might be the controlling type

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Do men keep some women on back burner ? Posted: 12/21/2007 1:49:35 AM
I guess that's true. But I still think it should be easier than having to go through pain discomfort etc. Doesn't love find you or something you weren't supposed to go looking for it right? Esp if you are a female since guys don't like females that are trolling for guys. They've established that they are the hunters.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Do men keep some women on back burner ? Posted: 12/21/2007 1:38:26 AM
I would like to know these things before something important happens. Too bad due to the evasive nature of men they can keep alot of things from you. But in the end lack of honesty only results in contempt and I don't see a happy ending. If you are a fair person you don't easily forget what others have done and consequently will do in the future.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

What is it with you women always being cold? Posted: 12/21/2007 1:28:56 AM
Could be bad circulation...sometimes people have cold feet and cold hands no matter how warm it is. Maybe it is genetics

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 101 (view)

too involved with pets? Posted: 12/21/2007 1:01:53 AM
>I have a problem with people who place their pets above a human being, treating >them like equals, They are better than people and they are surprisingly guileless intuitive perfect beings. Even a cat from the wrong side of the tracks can grow to be sweet and never bother the young ones when they are eating. Behold...how a cat can have empathy something that humans often seem to be lacking. How fair and wonderful these beings are. They kill only for food or to present you with a gift. We could learn about how to be comfortable in our own skin from them. They love you unconditionally even cats some of them are affectionate and no trouble at all. I have 4 and 3 of them are like 6 months and as far as I am concerned they are my 'babies' the older one was one I rescued. This doesn't get in the way of dating what gets in the way is meeting alot of losers. Animal lovers do have big hearts and what people need to do is open their hearts and be more like that. If you love animals you can't be all bad. If someone doesn't like animals maybe they're not the person for you. I don't need to know what's happening with my cats 24/7 they'll be ok cats take care of themselves. But if I can accomodate things about a person that aren't perfect I'm sure the fact that I rescued some cats and have good vibes at home would be something they could handle. If not there's the fcking door get the fck out and take your crappy toxic 'i'm entitled' personality with you. People suck I understand why some become hermits.

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 174 (view)

Online Dating Guide for Men: Part Deux Posted: 5/27/2007 3:01:01 PM
you forgot to add DON'T TALK INCESSANTLY ABOUT YOUR EX

Joined: 5/29/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

meeting someone and you find out they are someone hard and kinda low life Posted: 6/10/2006 8:18:01 PM
I don't know about nice guys. They can pretend for years. They pull the jekyll hyde thing after they have nothing left to gain. I'm pretty sure. I think the best guy is the assertive one who knows himself and isn't that nice. He will be less inclined to lie about himself.

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