I tend to sweat the small stuff and it's affecting my relationship. Advice wanted (warning: long) chat & forums.

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Thread: I tend to sweat the small stuff and it's affecting my relationship. Advice wanted (warning: long)

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

I tend to sweat the small stuff and it's affecting my relationship. Advice wanted (warning: long) Posted: 1/27/2007 10:31:35 AM
Thanks so much for the replies. Yeah, I vowed to change and so has she. We had a conversation. I just got off the phone and filled two of my days off with hanging out with an old friend and a new friend. Sunday we're hanging out. I need to keep busy, and yes sitting on the computer is a bad thing (um look what I did, this post lol). So I think we're good, I just need to find things to do. Thanks again

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

I tend to sweat the small stuff and it's affecting my relationship. Advice wanted (warning: long) Posted: 1/27/2007 9:24:58 AM
oppps. No she has spent the night all the time. She hated the dorm so she'd come spend the night with me at my house (45 mins away) and we'd just drive to college in the morning.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

I tend to sweat the small stuff and it's affecting my relationship. Advice wanted (warning: long) Posted: 1/27/2007 9:06:42 AM
Lately I have noticed that I sweat the small stuff, and I shouldn't. First, let me make it clear that I love my girlfriend, she is loyal, smart, pretty, honest etc. The following are a few recent examples that have been bothering me, and I think have caused fights/disagreements etc. Please, serious responses only. I love her so none of this "Break up with her/ just dump her" etc etc. I want to make it work. I know we have a future together, maybe not marriage but a few years. This is very detailed and I don't want any responses with "go see a dr." I am not extremely depressed and I just want some other people's thoughts. Thank You! 1) We went to pick up my gf's sister at school. There is a road that makes an arch where parents and pick up/drop off students. Well on the right side where cars would pull off where all taken so my gf said well just stay here. Here was right by the stop sign, blocking the way of any cars that needed to get out. I said that and she said "No, I know i went here for 4 years, you can park here!" Five minutes later a van needed to get out so we had to move into a dirt pile on the side on the grass. Ok, it didn't cause a fight, just confusion on her part and me ending up being right. 2) I will be the first to admit that I don't like driving in the city. We decided that we'd all take the bus, it cost 60 cents and I'd drive to a spot where I driven 100 times. My gf was fine with taking the bus, she said she use to do it all the time. I mentioned I haven't been on a bus in at least a year and it would be cool and I'd save a little bit of gas! Well we pull out from the school and I said to my gf's sister and her friend "We decided it would be fun to take the bus!" My gf turned and was like "OMG! The bus?!?!?!? You CANT drive there???" I replied, well I guess I can, just guide me where to go (she's kinda bad at that). My gf replied with "No, we can take the bus I dont want you to whine like a little **** the whole night". WOW surprising! This obviously triggered laughter from the backseat. I did end up driving and I later told her my disapproval of her changing her mind to make it seem like she was the powerful one in the relationship and what SHE says goes, and I'm just a stupid idiot. --- on a unrelated story she did this before. She received a bill in her college mailbox and wasn't sure what it was for, she went to the office and politely (almost crying) said "umm I just got this in the mail and I am not sure what it is?" (I went with her). When she saw her friends a few minutes after returned she said well I went in there and I'm like "Umm.. What the hell is this??????" while motioning throwing the paper on the table. I laughted and said "aww u didn't do that! u were very polite". 3) This is pretty much sorted out, but my gf usually will stay the night at my house but when she works the next day she insisted on bringing her back that night cause she wants to wake up in her own bed, in her house. It just feels better. Well last night she spent the night at her friend's dorm and they're on there way home now (its noon) she works at 2 and it takes about one hour to get there, so she will only have one hour at her house. I called her on that and said "well, I thought you like to wake up in your own bed when you have to work?" and I said "keep your story straight because when you are at my house you always want me to bring u home at night." Her reasoning was good being that she hasn't seen her friend in a while and it was the only time to see her. 4) Last night I had an interview and a long awaited "guys night out" with a friend of ours. I couldn't wait to talk to my gf and basically she said (so I thought) "Well I don't want you to call me (later she said she never said that...) because we are driving and doing fun stuff like watching movies". I later told her that everytime I pick her up and we hang out that she's on her phone with her friends. Two weeks ago, I brought her to my house (after not seeing each other for a week) and she was on the phone with her friend(s) for the first 20 minutes of the drive. 4) the final and biggest: Its always always always been a problem for me to bring her home earlier than expected or I tend to have a hard time when she goes out with her friends. One day in July she got in trouble for getting high, and I hang on to that thinking she will do it again, that she's getting in trouble or causing trouble with her friends. I know in side she isn't. I have told her that if she gets high we're done. Simple as that. I have strong feelings for this issue. Her response is "I love you and I am not going to risk a relationship for 20 minutes of getting high. Its like asking me if I went snowboarding, I don't even like that, I am not into it anymore, I've changed." Very good argument and I just want to drop it. Anyways, I digress... How can I change to not being so damn sad (which I tend to make her feel guilty when we talk on the phone) when I am home not doing anything (surfing a.net, house chores etc) when she's at her other friends. Do I sweat the small stuff? Is this small? Am i being paranoid? How can I change? I have started hanging out with my friend (the guy that I did the "guys night out with" but he is having his own problems so it turns into a theory session. I'd love to hang out with my friend at college but he is unreachable. How can I just be happy? Thanks!

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

stinging after peeing Posted: 11/1/2006 12:24:40 PM
i went to see my dr and he's going to treat it as UTI for now and then take it from there, gave me some meds and will see me again in a week. Thanks everyone!

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

stinging after peeing Posted: 10/28/2006 8:35:22 PM
She had a tract infection a few weeks ago, would that play into anything?

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

stinging after peeing Posted: 10/28/2006 8:01:57 PM
So for the past two weeks or so it tingles while I pee and it I have a slight erratation about 30 seconds after and lasting for the same amount of time after i am done peeing. I am thinking its an STD, but I am not sure, the gf has been tested "not to long ago" her words, any other thing it could be and any advice? (serious responses only plz)

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

do a certain type of girls/guys like you? Posted: 7/24/2006 5:15:00 AM
In school at least (where people knew me before hand) it was more of a "he's nice, i bet he doesn't mind who he dates, he is so nice and all."

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Mentioning she is single - is she flirting? Posted: 7/24/2006 5:12:51 AM
It can go either way, I hate when they do this. Either yes she was or maybe she was hoping you'd say "oh, I have someone for you". I have a co-worker that always talks about the x. "Yeah, I use to go to the mall with my x" etc

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

do a certain type of girls/guys like you? Posted: 7/23/2006 11:04:37 AM
Like a lot of you I have my type of girls that I like both in looks and personality. I have noticed in my history that only a certain type of girl are are attracted to me (there are always exceptions to the rule). Not to sound rude but the girls that like me are of the bigger size or they can be of "average" size yet have very little education, swear often and be on drugs. Sadly for them I don't go for both. On here I'll write a few and throw in a heavier girl to write to and i will only get a response from the heavier girl. Also on my myspace page I will get friend request from heavier girls, or gothic girls. I hope this didnt come off rude or mean but I can't force myself to like a certain person and yes, I do belive looks matter. What about your experiences?

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Check mine out Posted: 7/23/2006 10:54:23 AM
Please check out my profile. Comments welcome. Thanks

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

watching wresling now days Posted: 7/21/2006 7:47:45 AM
Right, I was just saying that if the OP turned on and saw wrestling and it was ECW than it was different than WWE (although WWE owning ECW now days its more and more the same).

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

watching wresling now days Posted: 7/13/2006 7:42:47 AM
Its ECW, its a whole new brand you are watching.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Writing to Candians from an American a turn off? Posted: 7/6/2006 10:55:09 AM
add an "a" to candians Merci!

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Writing to Candians from an American a turn off? Posted: 7/6/2006 4:11:34 AM
Thanks for the replies. I often go to canada for the dentist, to use Montreal (YUL) airport, strawberries, shopping etc etc so I will write to the women over in Canada too, also they show up in my "local" area when doing a search.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Writing to Candians from an American a turn off? Posted: 7/5/2006 5:28:34 PM
Hello. I am from Vermont, USA I live about 10 minutes from Canada and about an hour from Montreal so a lot of my "local" people are candian, is that a turn off for the women when they check and see that I am american opposed to candian? Not talking about American bashing but just in general?

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

How Would Should A Girl Interpret This? Posted: 7/5/2006 7:10:33 AM
Like everyone said it was a test. When you test a microphone you say "1,2,3 test(ing)". He did the same thing with your email to make sure it works.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

How long should i wait until i ask her to accompany me? Posted: 7/4/2006 1:55:34 PM
In case it matters its a non-formal wedding. Just a small thing but I was told I could bring a date and I see it as a good oppertunity.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

How long should i wait until i ask her to accompany me? Posted: 7/4/2006 1:52:10 PM
Ok even if I don't know her that well at this point? Like i said I don't want the "uhh I don't really know you" response.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

How long should i wait until i ask her to accompany me? Posted: 7/4/2006 12:43:45 PM
I have a new co-worker we worked a few times. The time before last night I bought some chips, and she asked how they were, i said they were good and I asked when she was done work, she said in a few so I just said "oh, I was going to offer you one but nevermind" and smiled and left on my break. Last night I bought those chips again and went through her line. She said "oh, there are those chips again!" I asked if she wanted one again and opened the bag and offered one. She was pretty pleased at that, as its not something you'd normally do. She does give me the "hey" as in the "hey its you again, nice to see/work with you again". In August I have my neighbor's wedding to go to and I would like to invite her, I am going to give her a 2 week notice, so hopefully we'll work together enough by then (she mentioned she doesnt get many hours). I just don't ruin it and have her say "well, I don't really know you" if its too quick. She has yet to use my name, not sure if she even knows it although we do wear name tags.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Scrambling words/nervous with authority Posted: 7/3/2006 7:38:15 AM
Hello. Maybe this goes under 'health' if not plz move this. thx So I have had this problem of scrambling my words, forgetting words, using the wrong words at random. I am a baggier at a grocery store and it was starting to rain, i was asked to get carts my reply was "I'm going to go get my raincoat in my cart" (instead of car)." I am unable to think of other examples but I do get so nervous when talking to authority sometimes, even though I've talked to these people so many times. There was a bag of trash in the parking lot and the parking lot is not owned by the store so I wasnt sure if it was my job to pick it up, i went to my supervisor and said "Laurie, I have a question for you.. there is a bag of trash outside..(pause/gulip) do you want me too...pick it up?" I do this often when on the phone with people I don't know (making appointments, etc). Tomorrow I have a meeting concerning a problem I have at work I will be meeting with a women I talk to often and chit-chat and since it deals with a problem aka something serious I know i will be all nervous, any ideas on dealing with this problem? I know one solution would be to pay a lot of money get speech therapy, but at 20 years old its not worth it! Thanks

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

Why is soo hard for guys to approach women?? Posted: 7/1/2006 5:01:39 PM
My fear is if she doesn't like me "that way" that it would be aqward (most of these are at work--only place for me). When I move on I don't want her to think that I would still like her even when I moved on and its been months etc.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Is the summertime really the best time to find love,n why?? Posted: 7/1/2006 4:46:06 PM
School is out/a lot of half days with work (more flexablity), stays light longer the warm weather and sun make people in better moods, more to do etc

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

The (hand)wave question Posted: 7/1/2006 4:43:18 PM
I have always noticed girls wave different from guys. My wave is uasually just a hand up all fingers up and then move my hand off to the side. I notice some girls will put all fingers into the palm then up then down again etc. Is there anything special about that compared to a guys wave or a "normal" wave such as: ?

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

How slow is too slow? Posted: 6/21/2006 2:16:10 PM
So tomorrow night will be a record-breaker for me, a second time meeting the same person off the internet. No, not a second date. I am trying something different. I did this internet thing about 8 or 9 times and never got past a second date, so a few months ago i invited this girl to lunch and then we planned to go to a movie the week after. Well we lost contact for a little bit, she got into a relationship and then just forgot about eachother, until yesterday. I was on myspace looking through my friends and i found her profile and clicked on it. I scrolled down to find (to my surprise) "single". Wrote her a message invited her to a movie again, we decided we couldn't tonight but we could go to the mall tomorrow night. So here we go, the second time we will be seeing eachother. My plan is to "hang out" and see if she wants to go to the movies next week, and ask if thats ok if it's considered a date. I don't want to go to slow and get to the point where she can "only see me as a friend". I don't want to F- it up by going to fast either. On the date I am planning on putting my arm around the shoulder and maybe a good night kiss. Any tips or advice to make it sucessful and not end it at that? I've never gotten past that, never had a gf. Thanks!

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Being stood up Posted: 6/21/2006 1:53:24 PM
I have never been stood up, I am always nervous that I will be though! Its a thought that does run through my head.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

How to find out if someone is single? Posted: 6/17/2006 9:43:09 PM
I guess that would work, to tell you the "full story" she is one of the people that u don't really think of at first then it suddenly happens. She did have a bf once, the only problem now is i won't see her often because she is usally my replacement and we never work at the same time. But thanks again everyone-- feel free to check out my other topic. This one is pretty hot tonight. Andre

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

How to find out if someone is single? Posted: 6/17/2006 9:19:34 PM
I guess it would feel weird if she doesnt like me, it would be weird that she knows that i have a crush on her and all that fun stuff.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

How to find out if someone is single? Posted: 6/17/2006 8:54:46 PM
I know the simple question is "just ask". I find that to blunt and obvious. ALike this girl at work but I don't know if she is single or not. Any tips or indirect questions that work. I know usually "what r your plans for this weekend?" usually works.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

1 NEW MESSAGE Posted: 6/10/2006 8:07:24 PM
Thats what I thought, I am pretty familair with the net so I automatically checked my mail when I saw it. Thanks for your help anyways!!!

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

1 NEW MESSAGE Posted: 6/10/2006 8:02:31 PM
nah, can't be it i get this message pretty often but no new mail in the inbox! :-)

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

analyze a girl's words? Posted: 6/10/2006 7:19:54 PM
thanks for all the replies guys, I guess most of you read it wrong, I don't like her like that but i always saw it as a business relationship more then a friendship but when she said that maybe its a hint that its more of a friendship then "just co workers". Hopefully i phrased that better?

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

1 NEW MESSAGE Posted: 6/10/2006 7:03:42 PM
What does the "1 New message" mean on top of the site sometimes? I clicked on it and it loads but then nothing happens. 1 NEW MESSAGE \| HELP \| NOW ONLINE \| SEARCH \| RATE PEOPLE \| FORUMS

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

analyze a girl's words? Posted: 6/9/2006 9:25:24 PM
shopping carts, i work at a grocery story.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

analyze a girl's words? Posted: 6/9/2006 8:57:54 PM
I just want to know how to interperte the sentences/words that girls use. The first one was at work, first time this girl used such a phrase with me: "Can you get carts?" me: sure her: "thank ya my dear." Now, I don't like her "that way" but I was just wondering is this a sign of a closer friendship, I usually saw it as a business relationship but maybe that line crossed the line (in a good way). Just took me by surprise or do i just shrug it off and assume she was in a good mood.? and the use of hun. I usually get this after a long conversation with a girl (online) and we have to log off "Night hun". It was a surprise today when i got a birthday wish from a girl that said "Hey hun"... Am i looking into this too much. I always liked this girl, she is very nice but i don't want to come on too strong or anything but i guess thats another topic for another time... FYI its almost midnight and I turn 20!

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Dating a person I've known for years/online dating Posted: 6/8/2006 5:20:48 AM
And the online thing, I guess I was so confused by one girl who was so turned on by me (phscially and mentally) that she kept on saying she couldn't and wouldnt find anything wrong with me. It was genuine too, I'd always get text right off in the morning wishing me a good day, a random text midday and one at night to wish me a good night and that I'd sleep well. Calls would often be the same. I just don't understand that downward spirle going from someone to really really really like me to not talking? Ok she wasn't what i expected (see my reply in the "meeting someone w/o a pic thread") so I didnt say much during our whole time together.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Dating a person I've known for years/online dating Posted: 6/8/2006 5:17:53 AM
Thanks for the reply. The overall feeling I get and I've been told this once is "well i don't know i guess it would be weird going on a date with you." I take that as we're friends and it would just be so weird going on a date with someone I established as a friend. Another person I like (it was a year ago) i asked on a date she said "I'm sorry Andre but no." She worded it a little more polite then that but I can't remember, maybe I can get her exact words later on today it should still be in my mailbox (did this over facebook). I still like her and I think we have gotten closer (maybe?) as we're currently the only young adults on the day shift at work so we kinda bond in that way. Andre

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Dating a person I've known for years/online dating Posted: 6/7/2006 6:33:20 AM
ha ha very funny.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 678 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 6/6/2006 9:31:13 PM
Yes, I met one girl on a double date at the movies w/o a pic. There was no way she could get a picture, i was very nervous but i had her tell me a few times both on the phone and online what she looked like, i kept tract so make sure it all lined up, it did she turned out pretty cute BUT looks arent everything she was very very serious and analized all my sentences and such and it was a big mess. Another girl i thought was very very cute. I imagined I was meeting up with a girl that looked a lot like stacy keibler for example. It turns out she was a lot shorter and a lot bigger then i expected. I couldn't bring myself to see her again because it was to hard.

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Dating a person I've known for years/online dating Posted: 6/6/2006 8:40:46 PM
Two questions here: My first question is with my current living situation (at home working at a grocery store taking one college class) I see the same poeple every day. I don't live in a city so bars are not an option. My question is many of the girls I like I've known for years and I think they might find it funny that Andre, the co worker and classmate that she has known for years wants to do a date, I'm a great friend but i think its hard to imagine to push pass that. Also, what are the best ways when rejected, I will be seeing these girls day after day after she says no. My second question deals with the online dating. I've gone on about 9 online dates and after that its always always the same thing: either don't talk ever again/end up blocking each other, or we slowly fizzle out each other. Apparently I am different from online to person, but I don't think I am, I'm not trying to be, any advice on that? Thanks!!

leadingedge04

Joined: 6/1/2006

Msg: 118 (view)

WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CONTACT ME? And other cries for help. Profiles reviewed here for free! Posted: 6/5/2006 8:00:56 AM
I was was wondering if you could check my profile out. Also, I am not sure what to write when i do write to a girl. Usually I will pick out why i am writing them (a thing or two what i liked about the profile). I keep it short and simple. As of today i wrote 5 people: 3 read, 1 read and deleted and 1 unread. Thanks

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