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Thread: Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex????

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 126 (view)

Why can't men be honest and say I just want sex???? Posted: 1/10/2007 5:48:48 PM
Wow!!! The eternal debate that will always exist between man and woman. It seems the prevailing tone is an acceptance of honest and mature dialogue when deemed appropriate by all parties involved. Unfortunately, it still dips into the 20's in New Orleans once in awhile and the IRS will never cease to exist!! I have been on both sides of this debate as I have had one night stands, first date sex, and respected body language indicating no interest. Have I expected or felt I deserved the privilege of taking a woman to bed for sex? No!! Is sex my intention on taking a woman out for dinner, the R&R Hall of Fame, Niagara Falls, or a simple backpacking trip? Again, NO! Sex is a joyful and rewarding experience only when both parties are in tune. Otherwise, what's the point? Some people are able to immediately indulge in passion with no consciense and sometimes it continues and even blossoms into a longlasting and loving relationship. Otherwise, does it matter if both parties are consenting? In our society far too many are so uptight they probably never rode as much as a merry-go-round for fear they might enjoy it. But, back to the point at hand, I believe one of the most profound statements I ever heard was from a woman on PBS a number of years ago: "Men give love in exchange for sex, while women give sex in exchange for love." As accurate an observation I feel this is, the pitfalls of human frailness and bad decision making sour its simplicity. When a man meets a woman that "trips his trigger" it is just that. Does his inner mind suddenly display SEX in the forefront? Yes and no. Women do everything imaginable to attract a man and men respond accordingly though this does not justify certain expectations. My apologies to those taking offense, but we are animals afterall and in spite of intellect and reason particular instincts control practically everything we do. It is our ability to make decisions which makes us stand out. Come on ladies, though we all have sex in the back of our minds, a man with any sense of reality and maturity today knows he cannot enter the room with a codpiece for all to see. And, yes, some of us do seek a friend with the hope it may grow into something more. Life's a ** (or stard) isn't it?

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

Why Is It That BBW's Never Get Spoiled?....Do you think bigger women have the same rights?... Posted: 9/4/2006 3:35:06 PM
Wow!! I believe the only reason I took the time to read the endless entries regarding the subject of BBW is I feel there is a place and person for everyone. Personally, I am not attracted to large women though, as a friend of mine so skillfully said, " Big women need love just as any other." and my response was, "That is why God made you!". Point being every individual has their own definition of "beautiful" and as many entries pointed out it begins with you. Hollywood and TV have not done a service for those outside the realm of the superficial "norm" they have put upon us all. Simply be who you are and appreciate what you have. There is indeed someone out there for all of us and probably more than one. Problem is it's like winning the lottery and we must face the odds. Being alone is not the end of the world and perhaps a blessing in disguise. Above all, do not let yourself be a victim due to desperation. You are beautiful to someone and that is all that matters.

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

does the hurt go away Posted: 8/2/2006 7:43:29 PM
Well, yes and no! I am 55 years old and still carry the torch for the love of my life. She was 14 when we first met and I was 17. Our first encounter was brief and I never saw her again until 2 years later and fell madly in love. Problem was I came from the wrong side of the tracks and wasn't Catholic so her father did not approve. I won't go into all the details but the pain is in my heart to this day. Fortunately I have been a musician and songwriter all my life so I am able to vent. Practically every love song I have ever written I tap into that nerve and I have no problem shedding tears over songs that move me. The bottom line is you need to find a way to live with it. Someone else may fill the void though don't make the mistake I believe I did by trying to find a "clone". I loved after that, but not sure it was ever to the same degree. Just realize life is long and full of many surprises. Good luck.

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

Older men dating younger women --- does it work?? Posted: 6/30/2006 3:50:21 PM
The dates in this forum confuse me as they are not chronological but I simply chose to respond to the first message. After reading a number of opinions (Many very well thought out) I feel the bottom line is the particular pairing; it either works or it doesn't. As many have pointed out, a stereotype tends to bias some younger women to the point they will not even consider an older man. Then there are those that simply do not find older men attractive which is fine. My best friend always liked women sometimes 20+ years older where my preference was younger and still is. But, that is not to say I would deny the company of a woman my age if she indeed wanted to participate in the activities I enjoy. This is where I find the crossroad! One entry states how men my age still possess a boyishness which creates a spontaneous approach to life. I agree and at the same time agree with the rebuttal that one should not assume older women simply wish to veg at home. Unfortunately, from my experience it is too often the latter or too many ladies are not physically able to jump in the car, head for Disneyland, and ride a rollercoaster; something a younger woman can often do in a heartbeat. Please understand I am perfectly aware there are thousands of women my age in as good and probably better shape than I am, but most are already in a relationship simply because of how wonderful they are! Sure, Sarah from Salmon, Idaho or Beth from Patterson, Louisiana fit every dream a person could ever imagine except for one issue… distance!!! I don't give a rat's ass what people say that distance is not a barrier, but that is plain bull. The time and financial impact deters the majority of people from even looking much further than 50 miles and that in itself narrows the field incredibly. As Jack London's short story "The Boxer" demonstrates, aging is a paradox for we understand the subtle approach necessary to reach a goal yet may lack the stamina once enjoyed in our younger days and find ourselves viewed as ready for pasture. Truth is an older man knows perfectly well how to feed and sustain a loving relationship with a younger woman. It is unfortunately a quest for "El Dorado" more often than not. "If I only knew what I know now when I was 18!" echoes through eternity.

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