I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me! chat & forums.

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empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me! Posted: 6/22/2008 7:04:40 PM
Sass, We didn't originally set up for the date to happen at 11:30 at night, he had some stuff to do during the day and was stuck in traffic on the way home (this part I sort of believe as we live in So Cal and the traffic from one area to the other can be killer). I was more thinking we would be hanging out around 7-8 and then we would leave from my house to do something else. I can appreciate the advice not to invite him over to my place, you are right, that would probably give most people the wrong idea. I've never had anyone over to my house on a first date before ever, I guess it just didn't seem as bad an idea as it actually was at the time. Thanks! R.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me! Posted: 6/22/2008 6:58:29 PM
cuddly, He was supposed to call for the address and we never spoke, he had my cell phone number not my home phone number and my cell phone number is owned by the company I work for, so I don't think he can look my address up. thanks for the advice though r.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me! Posted: 6/22/2008 9:08:15 AM
BlueEyedMinnow, Those aren't my children, those are my cousins.....who live in another state. He doesn't have my home address because I never gave it to him. But I understand your point.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me! Posted: 6/22/2008 2:28:39 AM
Strawbs, I was calling him at 1am, because I was worried about him. If you read my last text msg from him was like at 11:00pm, given that situation, I didn't figure that 1:00am was too late, especially on a saturday night. Furthermore, while I appreciate your advice and concern I think your tone is a little rude. I normally don't have anyone over to my house ever at all, however in this case I decided to make an exception because he seemed like a cool enough person and I felt comfortable. You sound a little bitter and "over" experienced to me. But again, thanks for the advice r.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me! Posted: 6/22/2008 2:21:40 AM
Yeah, I guess all I need to do is figure out if there was an emergency or if something happened, if not well then its time to move it along r.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me! Posted: 6/22/2008 2:20:34 AM
Yeah, I hear you there, it was out of the ordinary for me to have someone over to my place for a first meeting, but he just seemed so cool, as for the time, he had things to do in the day and his day just ended late. I'm starting to think all guys from this site have a screw loose, so it may be a while before I agree to meet anyone again if he seriously just stood me up thanks for the advice though! R.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me! Posted: 6/22/2008 2:17:43 AM
Thanks for the thing about me being pretty, thats always nice to hear after you may have been stood up! Yeah, I was sort of thinking the same thing, just because I gave him so many opportunities to get "out" of having to hang out tonight. I just texted him and called him again and told him to let me know if he is at least okay. What a lame saturday night huh.... r.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me! Posted: 6/22/2008 2:10:15 AM
Yeah, thats true, I just don't understand why he would keep confirming that he wanted to hang out all day if he didn't, 'ya know? I mean I gave him numerous opportunities to get out of hanging out with me and he never took them. I wish he would have kept it real, I could have tried to make other plans! Thanks for the help though I appreciate it! r.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me! Posted: 6/22/2008 1:42:56 AM
Okay, so I'm talking to this guy on here for a few days now, and he seems super cool. We've talked on the phone, on yahoo, exchanged pictures, done text messages the whole nine yards So we agree to meet up tonight, he was going to come over to my place to chill out, sounds great.... So he texts me all day about how he is just going to run home to get a change of clothing and is going to call me to get directions. He confirmed that he was still going to come over and hang out. His last text message to me was around 11:00 pm saying that he was going to call me for directions soon. Then nothing..... Finally around 11:30-12:00am I started to text/call him because I was trying to pick up stuff from the grocery store that he would like. No response. Waited until about 1am, called him again, left him a message just asking him to call me and tell me he was okay. I called him a few more times and now his phone is off and it rings straight to voice mail. I'm just so confused, he seemed like such a cool guy and HE was the one that wanted to hang out, HE was the one that confirmed over and over that we were going to hang out tonight. I mean right up until 11:00pm he was communicating with me fine, and now nothing, I'm just completely flummoxed! I don't have tons of dating experience, so is this something that guys normally do? Is this some sort of game? Whats the deal, should I try to figure out what happened or just leave him alone Thanks for the help r.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Interacial dating accepted by Blks & Whts only, how come? Posted: 7/1/2006 12:55:06 AM
Wow, Some of the above posts makes me almost certain that I can never live anywhere but California. I like feeling like I can date whomever I want, no matter what race, religion or creed and its okay. I couldn't stand to live in a place where people make judgements of who I am based on my race and whom I can and can't date based on race. Heck its tough enough for me to find someone I'm into without having to limit my options by race! To bikerbiker53, the poster who seemed to think that black men are all gangsta rappers waiting to seduce some poor white girl.....2 points First, you make the mistake of assuming this behavior is limited to black men, I assure you, it isn't. There are just as many white men who shirk responsibility and have no problem leaving a woman they get pregnant alone in the world with their child. Second, a woman knows from the jumpstreet the guy she is having relations with. Its not like these men are hiding their true nature, they are thugs, they are gangsters, thats just that. Women know this and continue to mess with them, so to me, the responsibility is equal. I certainly don't assume that women are stupid, and they know that if they get pregnant what it comes down to is that they are stuck with the child. So I don't fall for one minute for that line that somehow some poor white simpleton female is seduced by a "gangsta" because I think that assuming all white women are that dumb isn't giving them enough credit. These are adults...not drooling 5 year olds you're talking about. Its that same mentality that got black men arrested and lynched in the early 1900's. Somehow white women are stupid like children and not responsible for their own actions with black men. Ultimately not only do you feel sorry for the black men, you feel sorry for the white women, how sad that society sees you as some moron who can't take responsibility for your own actions? I'm black. My father is black and he is a doctor and a colnol (even if I can't spell it) in the Army. He raised my sister, my two brothers and myself. He always provided more then enough for us financially and mentally. My brother is a West Point graduate and graduated from there with his degree in physics. My youngest brother is in a Catholic high school, only takes AP classes, is on the debate team and just got back from a trip with his class to Moscow So you see how confused I get when people make blanket statements about black men? The three in my life don't really fit the mold. Neither one of my brothers has gotten anyone pregnant. And certainly, certainly neither of them has to "seduce" any white women. The one who went to West Point is constantly hounded by white women. Thank goodness he has a nice girlfriend that he is faithful to. Lucky for him she is black so people can assume she has a shred of intellect and responsibility for her own actions. By the bye, his girlfriend graduated magna cum laude from UCLA and now works in banking. Its funny to me that any one person knows lets say at most 50 black people, maybe even 100 and yet they will make a judgement about all black people based on that. Do you realize how many black people are in the world???? The 50 or even 100 you know don't even represent 1% of all black people yet you will make a blanket judgement based on your severely limited knowledge of the race, that doesn't even make any sense. As for people accepting black and white interracial couples, to be honest, I think it has a lot to do with the history between black and white people in America. I think from the very start the relationship between black and white people in America has been unique. Oh and by the way, no one is trying to change your mind. The girls you describe sound like morons anyways and since this is the type of person that you seem to know, I hope you persuade them not to date black men, because I would be horrified if either of my brothers or any of my friends got involved with people are moronic as the ones you seem to associate with.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Stupidity Posted: 6/24/2006 11:18:43 PM
I don't think that the the "stupidity" of today is any more or less intelligent then the "stupidity" of yesterday. The "it" girls of today are Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Lindsay Lohan, the "it" girls of yesterday were Karen Carpenter, Mamie Van Horn and Marilyn Monroe. None of them were valued for being old prudes with a whole lot of brain. There are "it" girls today that have some level of discernable intellect, heck look at Angelina Jolie, say what you will about her, but that woman is committed to a good and decent cause. She is probably more popular then Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan combined. Jennifer Aniston and Drew Berrymore are huge hollywood stars and both have production companies. The "it" men of yesterday...Gary Cooper, Rock Hudson, did we know any real introspective thoughts for any of them? We just barely found out that Hudson wasn't into the ladies! As for the "it" men of today, BONO is huge worldwide and he champions causes like world hunger. I guess maybe I see it differently, today nearly every star no matter how big, small or in between champions some cause. Maybe its something they do to just "keep up with the Joneses" but I don't remember anyone but Jerry Lewis being so giving before the current cache of celebrities. As for Jackass, isn't one of those dudes a midget, umm, thats not what most women are flocking towards. The other one who humps people in his panties, I just find that slightly disturbing and not even a little attractive. Wow, if there are women who do this, I genuinely question their intelligence and your ability to sense true intellect. Why would anyone want to hide their intelligence? Logically, even if you get a date, what does that lead to...a relationship, which eventually leads to....marriage. How long would a person think they could hide their "underground intelligence?" Would the dude she married be shocked when their child joined MENSA? Would he be like "boy, I'm not that bright, and my wife is about as smart as a bag of hammers, how is my kid intelligent??" I'm not sure whats considered idiotic, but any guy I've known has always tried to put his best foot forward with a woman from the jumpstreet (except those guys that figure that all women want jerks, so they will be a jerk) and if they do something idiotic, its totally by accident. I think that acting anything may get you a date, but do you just want to have 200 first dates? Because you can only hide your true self for so long and if you aren't stupid, its eventually going to show and then the whole effect is ruined. But hey, thats just my 2 cents.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 235 (view)

Dating a guy with no car... Posted: 6/24/2006 3:20:54 AM
If you live in....oh say New York, its probably cool, it seems like driving is such a pain, that no one really does it. However, if you live in California, or someplace like that, its pretty important to have a car, as I have been on a public bus, and its no place you want to be with a dude travelling to a date. Unless you have a helicopter, then you don't need a car

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 225 (view)

age difference Posted: 6/24/2006 3:10:10 AM
OP, I tend to think that when someone goes for someone SO much younger there may be different forces at play then actual feelings. You are 34, he is 17, are you SURE that you are into him as a person, are you sure this isn't just a way to recapture your youth or makeup for something else in your life? I couldn't say it can't work, or won't work, but I feel like you have to do a LOT of heavy duty thinking as to your motives before you proceed. But thats just me.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Where can a girl find a girl!!! Advice????? Posted: 6/24/2006 3:06:37 AM
According to every male friend and boyfriend I've ever had every female you meet is a secret lesbian, however, they also contend that lesbian experiences happen when everyone is drunk, so maybe a bar?

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

I need some advice. PLease Help. Posted: 6/24/2006 3:04:35 AM
Well, I would have punched him in the gut, so I can't really call what you did an overreaction. It sounds like you handled it pretty well, but I know its tough to not miss someone you were into, but like the site says there are "plenty of fish" out there, why should you settle on some piddly anchovy not even fit for a pizza!?!?

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

What would you do Posted: 6/24/2006 3:01:44 AM
Given that the entire tab wasn't like $250, as a woman, I think you would have looked like a real gentleman if you had just paid the entire $40 bill. You wouldn't have had to have said another word, any point you wanted to make about the other dude being a cheapskate would have been made right there. I've been out on like 1 first date where the guy asked for the bill to be split (worst date ever, EVER) and I just paid the entire thing and never spoke to him again. I guess at heart I want to date a dude who is at least a smidge old fashioned and covers the tab on the first date. I can't believe the dude asked the lady he took out if he could go out with her friend....what a gem! R.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Is living at home with parents such a turn off for dating someone? Posted: 6/20/2006 11:57:26 PM
OP, I think it says a lot about a guy if he has the mettle to be out on his own. I don't think that at 26 its easy for anyone to be out on their own, and its certainly easier to stay at home with mom and dad and save money, its much, much much easier that way. However I have more respect for the guy who is struggling but has the independence to be out on his own. I'll tell you what else, its a certain personality that I'm interested in that has the mettle to live on their own. I moved out when I was 18 and I haven't been home since, does that mean I hate my parents....goodness no. I love my parents to bits and pieces, but do I want to live with them goodness no, I'm my own adult and I want my own place and space. There were days when I only ate Ramen noodles, there were days when if I couldn't get what I needed from the 99 cent store I didn't get it, but you know something, I think that it gave me character and I wouldn't trade those struggles for anything. If you're looking for a perfect time you'll be home until your 68. I don't think you should move out to get a chick, I think you should move out because having your own place and struggling to keep it all together will show you a strength and ability you never knew you had. I think that with few exceptions its tough to build a case for being an adult if you're living at home with your parents. But hey, thats just me

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Are sideburns still in?? Posted: 6/11/2006 1:03:46 PM
goodness no, you should shave off all your hair, bald...now thats VERY in

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Intellectually attracted..........but theres a catch! Posted: 6/11/2006 1:01:10 PM
For me, I just wouldn't feel right with Sean. Then again, when I know my friend is into a guy, I don't even see him as an option anymore, for all I know he could be a eunech. You would risk the fact that if you did get with Sean and you ever broke up your friend might not trust you enough to invite you around any dude she was into. Or like other posters said you could wait until she starts dating another dude. If she and Sean start dating then you know its best that you stayed away from him for the sake of your friendship. If she starts dating someone else and getting into him then you can at least TALK to her about how much you like Sean and see if she would be cool with you dating him. If she is in a relationship with someone else chances are she won't give 2 figs.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 90 (view)

In A Grocery Store ... Should I Run Her Down With My Shopping Cart? Posted: 6/11/2006 11:23:20 AM
absolutely, women like to know how strong a man is, and its an easy way to let her know. you'll probably get action that same night

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

I WISH I HAD A CLUE ABOUT WHAT GUYS WANT Posted: 6/11/2006 2:50:25 AM
OP You're right...guys stink!

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Is there hope? Posted: 6/11/2006 2:20:30 AM
There is always hope, but why are you interested in only talking to attractive women? If all you want to do is talk you should look for someone interesting. However, again, there is always hope, I mean if you consider yourself attractive and you are on a dating site, its entirely possible that someone as attractive as you who is female is here too. Happy hunting!

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

What the number 1 most attractive thing in a guys personality? Posted: 6/11/2006 2:07:23 AM
#1 - sense of humor, life it too short to be around a sourpuss #2 - intelligence - don't want no dummy!

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

attack mode Posted: 6/11/2006 1:59:32 AM
Of course you get tired and you can't close, you're expending so much energy being someone other then yourself! Seriously, it may be that not every girl is into the person that you naturally are, but when you find someone who is into the person that you are, I don't think you'll be bored with them, or it won't be a game with them and then you can have something cool. Unless of course you're looking for sheer quantity. Can't help you there. R.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

I love him...but he is a loser? Posted: 6/11/2006 1:55:54 AM
OP, You seem like a great person, but not everyone has it as together as you do. I'm not sure that makes them bad, and even if they are, sometimes something happens and then people get their act together. Right up until a few years ago, I was a total loser and I would have told you so myself. My parents had paid for my college tuition for years, even springing for room and board while I was in college so I didn't have to work and I squandered (I know thats not spelled right) that opportunity and didn't do well. Eventually I left college and started working, always with the intention of "going back" I spent years in dead end jobs that didn't give me the pay or the time to go to school. I gained a lot of weight. One day I tried to get into my "fat jeans" and realized that they couldn't be zipped up without monumental effort. I got on a scale and realized I weighed 170 lbs. The next day I started to work out. I eventually dropped 30-40 lbs. I thought "man if I can run 2 miles a day, why can't I finish school." I got another job, one that paid well and accomodated school. In short, I worked almost 40 hours a week, kept up my workout routine, and pulled a full load of college courses. I made deans list almost every quarter. I now have a job where I make pretty darned good money and where I thrive. And I think to look at me now, you wouldn't realize that I was a loser not too long ago. So I guess long story short, people can change, and maybe he is just in the process of changing.

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Looking for Ladies' responses on this one... Posted: 6/10/2006 10:35:47 PM
Don't send a reply, anything you say would just sound mean or condescending. I think people get the idea if you don't reply. Truly, for some people, sending a line out, is such a big risk that you might essentially sort of crush someone's self esteem for no reason. Thats just my opinion

empress1978f

Joined: 6/2/2006

Msg: 671 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 6/4/2006 2:01:55 AM
I did once and it went horribly, horribly bad. And the worst part was it wasn't his fault, I just didn't realize that his height/weight were going to = really, really, really, really, really fat. And then I felt like a shallow horrible human being for not wanting to date him. On the flipside though I don't have a picture on my profile because wouldn't it be awkward if like your 7th grade math teacher, who just got a divorce saw your picture with your profile outlining how you don't want to date a guy who didn't have the old "snip snip" done at birth? And then what if she told your mother....UGH! I also despise taking pictures, and I think that some pictures aren't very representative of what i look like in person (or I sure HOPE they aren't). I do have pics that i will show to a person (once I'm convinced I've never ever had them as a teacher and that they don't know my mother). I think the profiles that are the creepiest aren't the ones without the pictures, but the ones where guys have cut and pasted pictures from gay male magazines (ie, the pictures of the guys who have no chest hair 20 inch biceps and are either rolling around in bed or wrapped around a surfboard) or GQ or Mens Fitness and not only insist that this picture is actually them, but in addition they are Chief of Medicine at Cedars Siani, founder of the local boys and girls club in their area, graduated first in their class at Harvard Law (no Stanford for THESE guys) and in their spare time they rescue small animals. I know these guys aren't real, but how creepy must they be to have to go so overboard to lie? What do they do to the poor girls that actually fall for their profile?

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