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Author
Thread: Why does AA/NA folks tell the truth about it be religious ?
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
21 (
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)
Why does AA/NA folks tell the truth about it be religious ?
Posted: 7/23/2009 3:17:09 PM
I didn't mean all court appointed people don't want sobrity but alot don't and they are included in the success failure statisic. Actually offically I wa court appointed, but by that time I wanted sobrity. All I'm saying is we get alot of people that don't want it, or don't want to work for it, and since we welcome them anyway the statisic of only __% making it is low. Even alcohol treatment centers, charge money (alot of money) and most won't pay for it unless they want it.
As for your statement the only kinda treatment that blames the patent, so your say if a patent went into the hospital with a sickness, told the doctor, I'm sick but don't want no medication, or treatment, I don't want to do anything different, and but you need to make me well. Then the dude gets sicker and dies its the doctors fault? AA is not for everyone, I think I said that its for people that want it not need it, and even if you want it you have to be willing to do some work and honestily look at yourself.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
17 (
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)
Why does AA/NA folks tell the truth about it be religious ?
Posted: 7/20/2009 10:49:18 AM
LOL!!! Well to all you people that have so much trouble with AA/NA, its really simple!! DON'T GO!!!!
I'm a recovering alky, and AA has helped me stay sober for 17+ years, and guess what I'm not a christian, if I beleive in anything it's more in the line of Native American spirituallity, or Taoism. Now granted most people in AA are Christain, but then most people in the US are Christian and yes there are alot of holier then thou people in AA that try to push church down your throat. And if it happens when I'm in the group you will hear from me shortily afterwords, and I have more time sober then most of them, and to be honest I probebily live a more serine (or if you want a more Christain) life then most of them too. And to the guy that got a bad feeling because he was on meds, same thing if I was in the room when that happened, (this is one thing that really pisses me off) but once again its certain people in AA not the program. Yes I have a Higher Power, and all I will tell you about it is it's not me, and that was the point, ego deflation. Trust me my self reliance has no problems but there is always things I can't do alone, and for me thats the key.
Yes my beleif are different then most people's but the world don't involve around me, and AA don't revolve around me. The founder's of AA did get alot of it out of religion, but they also got alot of it from pychology and other sources. To be perfectily honest AA started as a Christian orginazation (before it was AA) but the founders decided it needed to be open to everyone. But basically what your saying is if you go to a bar and a bunch of religous people start hanging out there, then it must be a religous orginazation.
One of the things I was taught very early on was take what you want and leave the rest. We like to say we suggest doing certain things, but it's kinda like if you jump out of an airplane it's suggested you have a parachute. As for AA's sucess numbers, I don't care, it worked for me. The Bigbooks states that if you work the program you have a good chance of staying sober, now we get alot of court appointed people that don't want sobrity, they come and get there court slip signed and we get alot of people that don't work the program, so yes of all the people that come in very few stay sober, but we don't care because maybe someday if that person is ready they might come back, I call it planting a seed, sometimes it grows sometimes it don't. Now I wonder what the statisics would be if they only took it with people that did the suggestions. So in closing if you dislike AA don't go, AA is for people that want it, not people that need it, you have to want it before it will help.
Now I have to go, a friend needs some help, sorry this is long but AA saved my life I was a fifth a night drinker at the age of 27 so I have no idea where I would be if it wasn't for AA, more then likely buried somewhere.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
29 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/11/2009 9:18:38 AM
Hey that didn't come out like it looked with the numbers it's Calories, Carbs,Protean, and Fat.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
28 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/11/2009 9:16:58 AM
Yeah I'm trying on the diet, here's what I ate yesterday, like I said I also increased the weight on my bars, so I'm lifting more.
6/10 Cal car pro fat
(2) Cups Of Black Coffee 5 cal each 10 0 0 0
Diet Shake 170 24g 10g 5g
Banana 200 51.4 2.5 .7
½ Chicken Breast 231 0 43 5
Salad (small) 150 9.7 3.6 7.1
Monster 200 27 ? ?
Slim Fast Breakfast bar 220 35 7 5
(2)Glass Of Vegetable Juice 150 20 4 0
Grapes 62 15.8 .6 .3
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1393 182.9 68.7 23.1
Now from what I am understanding the calories is probebily too low? And I have no idea why I wrote the Car, Pro, Fat down I don't know what I'm doing there yet LOL!!! As for the calories I'm not sure what my goal should be, I will research that.
One problem I have is being single I enjoy alot of foods but cooking for one sucks, so alot of time I just cook something quick. So more research is needed there too, I was thinking about the diet type tv dinners, expensive but small and quick. Plus they have a varity, until I can find healthy things I can cook and freeze the left-overs.
I did tell a female friend to come over and rid my house of junk food, most of it is for when her kids come over anyway.
Now the above with the exception of the Monster (I love them things but am cutting down, last year it was about 3 a day, this year it was one a day, and now I'm down to one every couple of days as a treat) is ok I think, I eat the Slim Fast bar as a kind of treat it's not Ice cream but it does seem kind of a reward lol.
And once again I love all the feedback, Thanks again!!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
22 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/10/2009 9:54:41 PM
I can blame the coffee on the Navy and quiting drinking and beleive it or not I have cut back on coffee. As for my energy drinks, I just love Monster energy drink, I don't drink them for the energy just the taste I don't really like any soda, but yes I am cutting back on them too.
As for being a pro, I doubt that will ever happen but when I do something I like to really get into it or I won't continue, besides I know once I get back to work I won't have the energy to keep up this pace. But then I will get alot of excersize working, so I won't need too.
The 80% thing I didn't like either, I would rather work for something then avoid things I like to get something but such is life I just need to find more healthy foods I like. Looked at a juicer today.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
18 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/10/2009 10:20:17 AM
Oh by the way I found an article on the tingling in my toes, just in case anyone is interested it: http://ezinearticles.com/?Elliptical-Trainer-Sleepy-Foot-Syndrome&id=78854, well actually someone else found it for me lol!!! So that makes me feel better but I will still see a doctor when I get my insurance back.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
17 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/10/2009 10:03:02 AM
Hey thanks, I did add 50 pounds to my bench and 20 lbs to my curling bar, I think I might do the dumbell thing because I have no spotter for really heavy weight, with 150 plus bar I only did 3 reps before I got nervious. I will buy "The New Rules of Lifting" book it sounds good. Thanks as you can tell I need all the help I can get.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
14 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/9/2009 3:39:14 PM
Perfect, cool thanks, I have another bench downstairs that has all the bells and whistles for that kind of stuff, plus my dumbbells, so once I get my basement cleaned up, ( I'm single and have this big house so down stais has always just been storage) I can play more. That way I can have heavy weights on one bench, and a bit less on the other. In High school I took weight lifting for 3 years, but unfortunatily I was so busy partying back then I never got serious about it, much to the dismay of my instructor, I'm beginning to think this self help stuff is for the birds and I once I get back to work go join a gym at least for awhile.
As for what your saying about cardio, thats how I feel after working on a bridge or something all day, I swear I hurt in place's I have never felt pumping weights. But I love swimming, (make me remember alway wanted to scuba dive too), now climbing I have never tried might look into it.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
13 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/9/2009 3:23:19 PM
Cool thanks a million for everything, I will check out all the things you suggested, and I will check into some martial arts ,but will probebily have to hold off until I get my cash flow growing again, because to be honest 15 minutes punching my bag downstairs, feels like more of a work out then 45 min. of running on this stepper thing, plus I like it more LOL!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
10 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/9/2009 2:24:02 PM
Ok thanks again, I e-mailed a friend in Wales that is a doctor, she asked if I had pain in my thigh, and when I said no she said it wasn't probebily a problem, she told me next time it happens to push on my toe nail and see how fast the blood comes back, if it's slow quit or at least slow down until I see a doctor.
Now this part you will love she also said either way I have to quit smoking LOL!!!
Oh by the way after I replied last time I looked at your profile, I see you are into Martial Arts. Thats cool, I did a little in Jr High wish I would have stuck with it. My friend in Wales has three Blackbelts, was almost raped about 3 years ago but beat the guy up, ended up crushing his throat, she said she almost felt sorry for him, because when the police arrived they just stood over the guy laughing until the paramedics showed up, I guess the guy was wanted on 4 counts of rape, he was a big guy but then this lady only stands about 5'2".
Also do you do any competions? Her good friend is named Loydd lewis and has one all kinds of kickboxing championship at least over there, don't know that much about him really except when she came and visited the first time ( I met her on here in fact) she had to give him my address just in case LOL!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
8 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/9/2009 12:47:37 PM
About the toe tingle thing it only happens on the stepper, and I do it barefoot, I'm going to try wearing shoes next time and see if it helps!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
7 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/9/2009 12:45:03 PM
Hey thanks, as for my goal I guess all of the above kinda, although the six pack is probebily a stretch, and at my age looking good probebily is too LOL!!! That is a joke, if I lose weight I won't be that bad looking !!!!
I guess to be honest here, I used to fight alot, so lets say my goal is something like an older kickboxer, if that makes sense, not that I want to start fighting again it's just the shape I was in before, so kinda built but still limber I guess is a good way to put it. I haven't even started on getting my legs limber because I know I need to lose weight first. Also I'm a heavy construction carpenter, keeping up with the younger guys would be nice although I really don't have a problem there most of the time.
Well that sucks about the toe tingle thing I will see a doctor as soon as I get back to work and get insurance, should I lay off the stepper until then? I was feeling good about my progress on it, I added another 15min today (75 min) then went downstairs and hit my bag for two 15 min sessions.
I'll check out what a plank is, I have an excersize ball downstairs somewhere I will blow up, any other excersizes I should learn on it? I'm kinda in the process of sitting up a gym downstairs, with the exception of my punching bag, my fav. is my rower I want to get back out, but it takes alot of room.
And ok on the smoking and diet, I will try, to be honest working my butt off is easier then either of those things, I'm used to that.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
5 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/8/2009 10:24:00 AM
LOL!!! Well that s***'s, I knew I wasn't doing it totally right but didn't think it was that bad. I admit I know nothing about nutrition, actually I though I ate ok for a bacholar sense I never do fast food. So no cheese that will be tough, I know the ice cream is bad I love ice cream but know I have to quit it. And the apple Jacks, well I won't even miss them, but they were in the cupboard. I just read yesterday to try and eat like 5 small meals a day, so I was trying that. I have only been doing this for a week now so I'm not going to beat myself up too bad yet lol!!!
So now for the weight's your saying more weight less rep's? And isn't this stepper thing cardeo? I know it takes the wind out of my sails after awhile.
Oh and thanks even if it wasn't good news LOL!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
2 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/8/2009 8:24:11 AM
Oh one last thing is I'm about 5' 7'' and weigh about 220 so I do need to lose a few pounds!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
1 (
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Trying to get back in shape!!! Please give me feedback!!
Posted: 6/8/2009 8:22:32 AM
Ok I have decided to try and get back in shape, I got sober 17 years ago and since I (what I call) "put my gloves away" I haven't worried about being in shape. And the fact is I have gotten rather soft, both mentally and physically, well the mental part is going to take awhile and sometimes the physical helps with the mental so I have decided to work on the physical right now.
I don't really have a time goal or anything, but basically would like to know what you all think of what I'm doing, I'm not going for body sculpting or running a marathon or anything.
Well before I get to long here is what I'm doing so far:
Work Out And Eating Log:
5/30
7:05 am
110 Bench bar - 50 curling bar
20 Benches - 20-Curls 25-Overhead presses 20-Sit ups 20
7:53am
5 min on the stepper
9:00am
10 Benches-20 Curls-20 reverse Curls-10 overhead presses
10:00pm
10 presses
3 cups of coffee-I Monster-I Poweraid-2 pieces of Pizza
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
5/31
10:30am
5 min on stepper
One pot of coffee-1 monster-1 piece of pizza-Ice Cream
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
6/1
5 pm
18 Benches-15 curls-10 overhead presses-10 min stepper
1 pot of coffee-3 pieces of pizza
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/2 225.5lbs
2:16pm
10 min on bag- 10 benches- 10 curls- 5 reverse curls
3:08
20 min stepper - 10 benches - 15 curls
7:37
10 min on bag
Pot of coffee- 2 ham and cheese sandwiches - big bowl of Apple Jacks
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/3
8:20 am
20 min stepper- 17 benches- 15 curls - 10 overhead presses- 20 situps
7:45 (2 )-15 min stepper 5 min break in between- 10 min on bag
½ pot of coffee- Two Hamburgers - 1 Monster
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/4
9:10 am
25 sit-ups- 20 benches-20 curls- 20 overhead presses- 8 reverse curls- 20 min stepper
6:45pm
15 min bags- 10 min stepper
Ham and cheese sandwich- Ham and cheese omelet with toast -Top Rama - Ice Cream
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/5
9:50am
25 sit-ups - 11 min stepper - 5 min break (Doorbell) - another 30 min stepper - 10 min break - 15 min on bag
7:25 pm
30 min stepper
Steak - 1 Monster
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/6
9:45 am
40 sit-ups - 20 benches - 20 curls - 15 over head presses - 10 reverse curls - 35 min stepper
1 Breakfast Shake - Steak 7 two pieces of bead and butter - Carrots and dressing - Top-Rama
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/7
9:20 am
20 sit ups, crunches (but I need to figure out how to do them) - 1 hour on stepper
5pm
15 min bags
Coffee - 9am Diet drink - 1pm Salad- 3pm steak - 9 pm bag of popcorn & Top Rama
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6/8
6:40
25 sit-ups - 20 benches - 20 curl - 20 overhead presses - 10 reverse curls - 1 hr stepper
6:37 Diet Shake -sobriety
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok now a few ?'s . when I'm on the stepper at about 40 min my toes start to tingle kinda like they are going to sleep, any worries?
What is the difference between crunches and sit-ups, to me crunches seem like an easier sit-up is all?
I need to work on the deit part I know and I admit I'm a smoker about a pack a day, kinda hoping if I start getting in shape I will want to quit.
Ok a few other thing when I say, reverse curl it's like a regular curl but I turn my arms around, an overhead press isn't really a press since I don't go straight up but kinda a mix between a press and a curl, starting behind my neck. I haven't changed the amounts of weight because they still provide (I think) enough resistance, and I think my upper body strenght is ok already. Oh and bag (15 min bag) is a 70 lbs heavy punching bag I pound on lol!!!
Thanks for any feedback!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
106 (
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Can you make love to someone you are not in love with?
Posted: 4/9/2008 1:10:08 PM
Imho it wouldn't be making love if there wasn't love, thats the difference between sex and making love to me. Sex is purily physical, making love is more intamate. Now I think what the Op was trying to get at by saying "in Love" was like a girlfriend. I have lady friends I would be making love too if I had sex with them, that doesn't mean I want a romantic relationship with them but I do love them.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
28 (
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)
lettin go
Posted: 4/9/2008 12:59:35 PM
A trick I use not so much for dating but for "letting go" of all kinds of things, or not stressing about things is I ask myself will this matter in a year, how is this going to affect me in a year.
In your case yes it could affect you in a year, if you let it. But if you "let it go" and it won't mean a thing in a year, you will probebily date a few more guys in that time and maybe find one your looking for. In more cases then not if we look back at the stuff we were so upset about a year ago we can laugh. And in alot of cases we say "thank god", I don't know how many times I thought I had to have something my way and in the end was so glad I didn't get it.
Now I'm not religous but a joke I always say is God answers all prayers. His answers are "yes", "no" and "if you insist". Its those "if you insist that get me in trouble" !!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
58 (
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anyone ever turned a stripper into a girilfriend
Posted: 4/9/2008 12:38:48 PM
I had a stripper for a girlfriend back when I was in the Navy. It was what she did not who she was, actually she was one of the sweetest ladys I have ever known. I started dating her thinking it might turn into some 3-some fun or kinky sex, that didn't happen. When she wasn't on stage she was as normal as any lady I have ever met, she had a wonderful little boy and was a great mom to him. I was a bit on the wild side back then and she actually mellowed me out, by giving me something to care about besides partying. I would have loved to stay with her I would have even married her but I got stationed elsewhere and she didn't want to move.
I have dated a few strippers since and although they are all sweet none got my heart like she did. I also am friends with a lady now that it almost floored me when she said she was an ex-stripper, I mean I thought about dating this girl but she is too "nice" for me.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
45 (
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Unprotected sex and multiple partners
Posted: 4/2/2008 10:20:26 PM
Oh and as far as talking to someone about it, if they won't talk and don't care they probebily won't care about you either. So Screw 'em well no actually don't screw 'em!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
44 (
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)
Unprotected sex and multiple partners
Posted: 4/2/2008 10:15:23 PM
SensualMystery I'm not here to argue about what your saying, I don't know that much about the medical stuff. But the last lady I was interested in did research on AIDs and worked with AIDs patents. As a result she had to be tested every month. Now if those test are good enough for the people working with the patients and doing the research trying to find a cure and ways to help then they are probebily good enough for me.
And I doubt any developer will guarantee there test even if they thought they were 99.9% sure it was accurate, for reasons of lawsuits. As far as the government enforcing them, i haven't heard anything about mandatory test.
To the person saying the low numbers about men getting AIDS, my friend told me something like that too, and it makes sense we are not excepting anything into our bodies, she also said it was low for oral because it dies so quickily outside the body, and as far as needles, what got them wasn't sharing the needle but sharing what was inside the needle, they made a big fix and passed it along, well each person that took some left a little blood inside the needle. Which would make me wonder about earning your red wings but I won't go there lol!!!
Now I'm no expert so don't trust what I'm saying ask someone with more knowledge then me. And just be safe!!!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
6 (
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Unprotected sex and multiple partners
Posted: 3/30/2008 8:49:07 PM
Well I would think you would want to use protection before you talked to them about it. But it's not that big of a deal it seems if your comfortable enough to have sex you should be comfortable enough to talk about HIV. Maybe not on the first date, and I know sex isn't always very planned, but use protection until you know.
And getting tested is easy, I have done it many times, not lately no need
but I do it everytime it goes beyond casual sex. Look it's not the person your with it's every partner you and her have had and all there partners since your last test. And be tough ladies it's alot easier for you to get it then us men!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
84 (
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What's this for??? [do men understand a woman's body]
Posted: 3/30/2008 8:26:58 PM
LOL I love you Indigo !!!! You always make me smile when I read your posts!
Now for the topic. Ok I think I know a womans body rather well, but I also know every woman is different, so yes I fiddle. Hell I have found places a woman loved she didn't even know she loved before. I'm amazed at the number of that don't learn and experiment on there partners bodies.
Now I have also found places that drove one lady nuts in a pleasurable way and another woman nuts in a negative way.
So like The Who says "Fiddle About" Lol!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
15 (
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Are women on the East coast more difficult to approach than other areas of the country?
Posted: 3/30/2008 8:00:31 PM
I think people on the East Coast are just shut off, I don't mean that bad I think it's just you have so many people over there. I suppose maybe places like California might be like that but I'm from the Northwest and it blew me away.
I was in the Navy and stationed on the East Coast, me and a few other guys from the West Coast used to get a kick out of just walking down the street and saying "Hi, how are you", to complete strangers. People would look at you like what the h*ll you saying Hi to me for, or what do you really want.
Up here if you pass someone it's just natural to say hello, now sure you don't say hi to everyone if the streets busy. I could just see that in a place like New York City LOL!!!
Now thinking about it though, here if you walked by a girl and said hi, she wouldn't think nothing of it. But in a place where your passing hundreds of people a minute, and you single a girl out to say hi too, it might mean a bit more. So in that way a simple hi might be an ice breaker.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
43 (
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As a guy, I don't relate to some guy-isms
Posted: 3/29/2008 2:31:12 PM
First off I hate the hunt also, and just don't play that game, probebily why I'm single. I personally think it takes quite awhile to really get to know someone though, so I don't worry about how long it takes, but if we are growing closer. But thats after a dating, as for a date no I don't chase much.
And as far as this slut thing goes, I don't care how many people a girl has slept with, I might eventually ask but it would be curiousity more then anything. My ex never would tell me, she said it was more guys, then girls I had been with, and I didn't care. I personally think a slut is someone that cheats, not the number of guys a lady has been with.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
82 (
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Short women...
Posted: 3/29/2008 2:17:00 PM
I perfer short women, I love 'em, not that I don't like tall women too but if I had a choice between two women that were the same I would pick the shorter of the two. I'm around 5'8" and have dated taller women but now that I think about it all my loves except one was shorter.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
101 (
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Would you let someone teach you how to kiss?
Posted: 3/19/2008 2:14:19 PM
I hope so, and I hope she teaches me how to make love to her and every other aspect. I don't think I'm a bad kisser or lover, and I have never had any complaints. But I think every woman I have ever kissed and/or made love too, has been different. Sure you take things you have learned from other ladies into the relationship, but I love learning how to make that woman purrr!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
112 (
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Accents A Plus+
Posted: 3/16/2008 4:26:10 PM
Its a plus for me nothing big but I like them. I had a girlfriend from texas she didn't have a accent. Until she called her mom in Texas once, after she hung up she had a sexy southern accent for about a week. Needless to say I encouraged her to call her mom alot LOL!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
5 (
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How do you women want to be treated by your male friends?
Posted: 3/16/2008 4:03:28 PM
Hey thanks for the reply's. I think I have been very honest with her, and although I checked out her a$$ when I first got to know her, I don't anymore. I mean she is cute but mostily she is just cool. I mean like last night we were bowling and she bent over in front of me to pick up her shoes, I noticed but didn't think much of it.
I guess I don't believe it has to be all or nothing. Yes she is attractive, but she is also just fun to be with. I think alot of the reason I feel different about her is we didn't date then become friends, we became friends and then (I don't even like the word date) went out.
But to the first response thats the problem, I don't really have any gauge. So I think it has to be "just like one of the guys" at least until we do have a gauge. I think we both will be more comfortable with that. And I just thought if I did find a girlfriend it would be kinda hard to stay friends if it was anything else.
imrule62
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How do you women want to be treated by your male friends?
Posted: 3/16/2008 1:03:59 PM
Ok here is the story, I ran into a lady at the store the other day that I have known for about 3 years. We get along great, she is a wonderful lady and we have a blast when together, which hasn't been much. From the very beginning she has been very clear she doesn't want a relationship with anyone. I asked her out to dinner. She excepted, so we had a nice dinner. And then went bowling and had a blast with each other. At dinner she said that she likes me, but is concerned because everytime she tries to be friends with a guy they get hurt when she won't start a relationship. I don't think this will ever turn into a romantic relationship, and yesterday we just had a blast. I do consider her a friend but would like to get to know her better. I have to admit if she was willing I would love more but it just isn't going to happen.
So my question is where do I go from here? I didn't even know if I should give her a hug or kiss last night. I have female friends, I give most a hug when I see them, others I give a hug and a kiss. Should I just treat her like one of the guys? Or do you like when your male friends do little things like buy you flowers? To be honest I don't hang out with most of my female friends, but this lady I can see enjoying hanging out with.
Hope this makes sense, and it is redundent!!!
imrule62
Joined:
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102 (
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Apparently those Nigerian scammers are using Yahoo messenger now...
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:08:45 PM
I got a bunch of them on Myspace and always wondered what they were after, why they wanted me to e-mail them off the page. But see I always thought they were after my e-mail addy and never could figure out why. They actually ask you to send money huh? Well now I might play with them, I figured it was a scam but thought they were trying to get info to Hack my computer.
imrule62
Joined:
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23 (
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Can Only Have Orgasm With A Vibrator
Posted: 3/8/2008 2:04:20 PM
Are you sure its Vibrator only. I was with a woman that didn't orgasm from intercourse. She said she never had, she needed direct clit stimulation. She liked intercourse because of the intimacy but we usually had alot of foreplay. Which personally made it fun!!!
imrule62
Joined:
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92 (
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MBTI Types & Attraction: Is there a connection?
Posted: 3/4/2008 12:23:08 AM
I guess I'm a INFP, don't know if thats good or bad. It says I'm an Introvert, everyone that knows me says I'm an Extravert, although I am a bit shy noone ever beleives it. I disagree with a few things on there, it says I perfer to work alone which is true but says I have problems working with others, because of high standerds and in group situations I have a control problem. I hate being put in charge at work, now I do like to do a good job but I will be the last person to take control. I don't know in ways it fits me in others it doesn't.
Maybe one of you know more about this stuff then me? It is interesting might have to do some research on it.
imrule62
Joined:
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Msg:
398 (
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Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/3/2008 6:35:31 PM
Like everyone says it matters what you mean by your type.
The last person I wanted to be with was from the uk, I'm from Idaho, we met online, I figured cool we can chat a bit. She wasn't my type meaning if I met her somewhere I would not have approched her. We chatted for a few months, and the more we did the more we like each other, after chatting with her for about six months, she asked if she could come visit me. I said sure and she did, we spent a week together and it was great, we had a blast together. And by the time she left we were talking about her moving over here someday. Well it didn't work the lack of seeing each other was hard and she met someone over there, but we are still friends. But the point is I wouldn't have thought she was my type.
Another story: My cousin, had her type, she always complained to me about alot of what I hear women complaining about on here. Well she lived in an apartment, and it was being painted. One of the painters was flirting with her and she told me, she said he asked her out he seemed nice but not her type. I said what does it hurt to give the guy a chance, so she did. That was about 4 years ago, they have been together ever since and been married for about 2.
So should you settle to not be alone? No, but do you really know who is your type, it seems me and my cousin didn't.
imrule62
Joined:
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703 (
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 3/3/2008 10:48:28 AM
The only problem I would have is what does she do with her time. If she was active in some outside something it wouldn't be a problem. My ex couldn't work and I didn't mind it except she resented that I got to go to work and had things to do outside the relationship. Now I enjoy working but I never thought of it as my social time.
So I think it would be important for her to be doing something, I don't care about the paycheck.
imrule62
Joined:
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680 (
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Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 3/2/2008 11:55:32 PM
Listen the last person I was with was I think the smartest lady I have ever met, she was successful and could basically do whatever she wanted too. But what really attracted me to her was her heart. She works in the medical field and could make alot more money then she does, but she wanted to help people more then make money. Now I have a high IQ (still haven't figured out what good it does me) and I have gotten bored in every school I have ever gone too. But this woman made me feel stupid, until she pointed out that although I know nothing of the medical field, she would be just as lost in construction. To me intelligence is not a curse unless you make it one, by thinking your better then other people. My nick name, rule 62 means don't take yourself so seriousily. Are you more intelligent then your children bet they can teach us alot, about trust and love. How about that damn stupid dog, bet he can teach us alot about loyality. No matter how smart you are, someone can always teach you a thing or two!!!
It reminds me of the story of a small village farmer. Now take lets say a Harvard professor, and put him and his family in that little village. Take away all he has and supply him with the tools the small village farmer used to feed his family. What good is his intelligence now, that small little farmer could teach him a thing or two I bet.
imrule62
Joined:
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15 (
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getting to know.... what?
Posted: 3/2/2008 11:09:33 PM
One thing my ex and other long term relationships taught me, is it takes years to get to know someone. I was with my ex for about 14 years and some things she said at the end made me think I truely didn't know this person. I knew what she wanted me to know. And I don't think I'm alone here, I know a few abused women, and I asked them why they stayed, alot of time the answer was he was so good to me in the beginning.
So basically you can get to know the very basics, but you can't get to know anyone in a short time. Now one thing I do is watch, not how a woman treats me, but how she treats other people. Actually most of the women I have had feeling for, it was because before they even knew I was attracted to them I saw them reacting with others.
imrule62
Joined:
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159 (
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Why are most men afraid of the M word?
Posted: 3/2/2008 10:12:06 AM
Tralaza
imrule62, if you don't get the marriage thing, I'm wondering why you got married when you did?
Thats one of the reasons I got married, because as a union carpenter I got better health insurance for her and her child then she did threw disability but really the money was a very small part of it . I suppose the main reason I did was she wanted it, and I hoped it would show her I was commeted to the relationship and and ease her insecurtiy. And besides at that point in my life I wanted to get married, I was caught up in the if you really love someone you get married thing, it's what people did when they were in love, and it would bring us even closer together. It didn't, sure it was fun for a little while but in a very short time we were the same couple we had been before.
I can't say anything about the legal advantages, but I think that is a sad reason to get married.
And I have to say, I will not say, I will never get married again, if I loved a lady and it was important to her and we had been together for a while I would consider it. I'm not really afraid of the "M" word, I just don't think it means what it is suppose to mean anymore. It's almost not about love anymore. It's about a legal piece of paper nowdays. Two people getting together, and telling there friends and family they love each other and want to spend the rest of there life together is wonderful. But to be honest my friends and family knew that long before I married my ex.
I blam that on church and governments. Like I said if it's about love why can only certain church and government appointed people marry you? And I won't even get into why a country that is suppose to have a seperation between church and state promotes a religious act with tax benifits, laws and such. What about same sex marrages, if its about love whats wrong with it, and who is leading the fight to stop it, churches!!! Maybe marrage came before church, but the rules and such I doubt did.
imrule62
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Why are most men afraid of the M word?
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:45:05 PM
Ok I agree with you, about child support, and maybe this wasn't directed at me, but you did quote my post so I have to say I never said nothing about child support. Me and my ex never had children, she had one from before. And to be honest she got hold of me because he needed dental work done, and even though he wasn't my child and I have never seen him since the divorce I went ahead and paid most of it. I figured he had done nothing wrong and yes I still loved him.
But even with that, I don't think you ever have to be married, to get child support. So this is two different subjects!!! By all means if you have children help support them.
imrule62
Joined:
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101 (
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Why are most men afraid of the M word?
Posted: 3/1/2008 7:26:30 AM
I don't get the whole marrage thing personally. What is so attractive about it, its basically a piece of paper. Now for really religous people I can see it, there church tells them its what to do. And I suppose I can see it back when women stayed home took care of the house and children, then it was a legal contract so if it ended she got something for the work she did. But lets face it now days it means nothing.
Yes I have been through a divorce, yes she got angry and tried to take me for everything. It cost me some extra money but in the end it ended up fair. She was a housewife, and so she deserved half of what we had. Actually I offered her more then half, she got angry wanted to hurt me and in the end got less then she would have gotten not getting ugly. But thats not the point.
The marrage is the point, and that piece of paper meant nothing. She was insecure it didn't make her feel more secure, it didn't add to our love, it didn't make our friends feel any different about us, people didin't see us any differentily. It did help during tax time I guess, and I don't know if I would have gotten the loan on the house if I wasn't married. Alot of talk about commitment on here. That piece of paper didn't make us more commited to each other, I was just as commited to the relationship before we got married.
So my question is why do people even bother with the "M' word nowdays? If it all about love, why isn't a native American wedding legal? The most beautiful marrage I ever saw was two of my friends having a Native American wedding where a tribal elder married them. It was beautiful, it was spiritual, and it was all about love. But it wasn't legal!!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
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13 (
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Salmon
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:28:12 AM
LOL Ok I have fillets!!! See I'm learning something!!! Ah a sqauw candy recipe thats I love that stuff!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
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10 (
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Salmon
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:49:04 AM
Thanks again, I have no idea what kind of salmon it is she lives up in Alaska by Soldotnia (Which I Also have no idea how too spell) . As for how much I have probebily 50+ lbs of steaks my guess would be most are 1/2 pound steaks (or maybe filets is the correct word LOL). I am cutting and pasting the recipies to save them so thanks again!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
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169 (
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Why do most guys want a woman who needs them?
Posted: 2/27/2008 9:27:55 AM
Ok I guess I lied, I must have taken that out of my profile LOL!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
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168 (
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Why do most guys want a woman who needs them?
Posted: 2/27/2008 9:25:40 AM
Ok in my profile I wrote I want to be wanted not needed. And the reason I did was my ex she didn't work (she had mental issues and couldn't). So anyway her life was around the house and she felt trapped, I was always trying to get her to go do something so she got out of the house more. She resented that I got to go to work everyday, now I like my job most days but never really thought it as something I got to do.
And when we did split up she said she hadn't been in love with me for along time, but stayed with me because I provided for her. I never want a woman to be with me only because I provide for her.
Now a need like in love is cool, whats that corney line in that movie "You complete me" that kind of need is cool. I would love a woman to think she couldn't live without me, as long as we both knew it wasn't true!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
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Salmon
Posted: 2/27/2008 8:43:50 AM
cool thank you all I will try these and see how they turn out.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
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37 (
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Share your Poor Man's Breakfast dishes here
Posted: 2/24/2008 1:33:30 PM
I didn't read them all, but one of my Fav's is Chilli omelete, Basically and Omelete with cheese and chili, it sounds bad but it really good!!!
And what we up here in Idaho (Yes the potato state) call and Idaho Omelete, basically fried potatoes, some eggs and whatever else you think my be good thrown together and fried. But yes fry the potatoe's first!!!
Then Tabasco sauce, and ketsup or salsa on the top Yummmm and cheap and easy!!!!
imrule62
Joined:
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Salmon
Posted: 2/24/2008 1:25:55 PM
Hello all I decided to try this, my sis lives in Alaska so I get alot of salmon, I'm not real big on salmon so I usually pass on my share, except I love Smoked salmon and what is called Squaw Candy. So last time she came down I got my share, now I have alot of salmon and I would love some recipes!!!! And also how to make smoked salmon and Squaw candy!!! I do have a gas bbq, and actually two briquite (However you spell that) type smokers I got at a yard sale and have never used so I would like help there too, and any good smoking recipes!!!
Thanks
imrule62
Joined:
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Questions from a confused mind
Posted: 2/24/2008 11:28:15 AM
See this is the Catch 22. You want us to show our feeling but when we do, you seem to get put into the two nice catagory. Now some of the other statements are true too, alot of us don't know how to express feeling. For years I was taught a man doesn't show feeling, and women complained that I didn't show feeling. So I started opening up, then I was too nice. Well I am trying to find a happy medium but for the most part I'm more comfortable not showing feelings.
imrule62
Joined:
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Just witnessing other relationships makes you not want to be in...
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:58:31 AM
I want a good relationship or I'll stay single, now that doesn't mean I won't work on a relationship. And it doesn't mean I'm looking for the perfect partner, all relationships take work, communication and comprimise.
So yes I agree with your basic statement but at the same time I don't want a female clone of myself. To me life is about growth, and and I want someone that can expand my veiw of life.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
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22 (
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Building castles in the air
Posted: 1/19/2007 8:28:53 AM
Thanks, I like it, the paragraph:
''If you have built castles in the air, that is fine. Now put a foundation under them.'' We build the foundation brick by brick, loving act by loving act, with conscious awareness and intention. And in so doing, we truly honor the vision that our romance gave us and create an even deeper and more genuine romantic connection with our partner. As we confront the struggles and limitations in our ability to love fully, we realize the true grace of intimate relationship: we are given the exact situations and opportunities we most need for the next steps on our journey of awakening.
,really hit home, this is what I miss the most about being in love. Sure the romantic love is great, but maybe I've been around enough to know it don't last.
Some people say its a fault of mine, that if I like a woman, I'm thinking, is this someone I will be happy currling up to on the couch 5 or 10 years from now. People tell me I should just enjoy the time I'm with them now. But I watch how they interact with other people, how they handle stress, and things like that. Because I know life will happen and I want someone to get through it with, otherwise I'm better off alone.
When I think about past relationship I don't even remember the girls names of the romatic relationships I have been in, the memories come from the ones that lasted awhile. After we became real, because that was real. Sure making love on the beach was great, but my fondest memory was comming home after working in the cold and her having a warm bath, to warm me up. It was the little things, not the big things to impress that I remember.
imrule62
Joined:
6/4/2006
Msg:
70 (
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What does it mean when a woman calls a guy sweet?
Posted: 1/17/2007 11:02:44 PM
Well to me it means your heading down the friendship road, not necessarily time to exit but make a turn. Of course it depends on the circumstances, I mean sure if I did something sweet for her it can be a thank you, but being called sweet early in a relationship isn't good.
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