Finding out if a woman likes sex chat & forums.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 112 (view)

Finding out if a woman likes sex Posted: 5/30/2009 5:25:11 PM
Please understand from the other point of view. When you are very young "waiting" is not such a big deal. But later it becomes that as experiences teach that there are liars who act sexy but are cold fish. I was in a relationship where she loved affection but hated sex. She also had a negative image of herself. But I did not find out until I was married. Now after wasting those 4 years I am not into waiting to have the talk. I think laying your cards out on the table is the honest thing to do

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Good enough only for sex Posted: 5/28/2009 4:22:51 PM
Perhaps the choice of words is the issue. The person may not want a "dating" relationship. Be male or female it is not that they are ashamed it may be for many different reasons: the other is controlling or otherwise annoying in public, they are on the "downlow" and have an image to uphold, That was never part of the equation, They run in different circles, That never came up. Some people may not wish to have anyone know that they have a lover, it could be culture where they themselves have a self image that is at odds with their sexual self. Some hide there sexuality dating one man/or woman openly but having sedx with a "backdoor" person to keep up their image with the person they are interested in for serious relationship but have needs that a BB,FWB,BC can meet. The job maybe all consuming with little time for a relationship or they just came out of one and want some freedom, Ashamed never is part of the the thought process.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Gals in commando Posted: 5/12/2009 6:34:50 AM
I think this is a personal issue. Everyone is different. Some women do not "discharge": while other do both are normal . A absorbent slip might help. And if it is night or not. And how emotionally comfortable will you be?

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

can friends with benefits ever develop into something more? Posted: 5/12/2009 6:27:43 AM
No it isn't. Having "friend" sex is fine. Just enjoy and then set boundaries. I too have had sex with a friend and later reverted to being friends with out sex. To me I am happy with friendship, understanding, and emotional maturity.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

can friends with benefits ever develop into something more? Posted: 5/12/2009 6:23:53 AM
It can, BUT it deprnds on so many other factors. What was agreed on,the tastes of both people. It is also what can be. I myself have had FWB/booty calls relationships. The downside is in the people themselves and what the unspoken needs are. I prefer to konw her intentions right out. If she wants to change the deal then negotiations are advised. Some people are looking for sexual satisfaction and "skin" time and are dating their "intended" but do not want sex with them because of the intended's value system. A discreet and trusted lover who will let go is preferred.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 103 (view)

Is this fair? Happened to a close friend of mine Posted: 4/30/2009 1:01:26 PM
I foun you post interesting. He is hardly a degenerate. He is using an efficient method of getting his needs met. I do see that none of his "friends have taken him aside and helped him become more sociable. Many people are very shy and lack the social skill to be able to interact effectively. Alex needs the people around him to teach him the "game". Why has this not happened? The "right one" fallacy is inbred in this culture but there are many "right ones" . Actually it comes down to having choices. Attractive socially adept have more choices. Unattractive less choice. It is that simple. It has been only very recent that there have been books and shows that are teaching males effective ways to interact wih others in a social setting. Women have had a advantage in the education thst male usually have not had( I am talking middle class and lower). If you notice that in out art forms males are depicted as bashful, easily embarrassed traits that most women find off putting.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 102 (view)

Is this fair? Happened to a close friend of mine Posted: 4/30/2009 12:28:37 PM
Again cultural value judgment!! He is hardly broken: it is that males acting male are not in your experience. What is a "nice girl"?? Alex should have the sense to keep his mouth shut!! Alex's friend should have the sense not to tell. Where did it say he was lonely? He is just being efficient!!

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 99 (view)

Is this fair? Happened to a close friend of mine Posted: 4/30/2009 12:05:44 PM
Windlover is VERY WRONG!! He is playing to the audience!! In his world Al;ex is doing what he needs to live. His style may not be what some want to hear but why should he waste time and money on something he does not want? He does not seem to want a "dating relationship". Not everybody has the time or the want for the drama of a "dating relationship. In my experience many people prefer such arraingements as they are "at will" and both men and women who have other priority than having a relationship. I read in Marie Clair about Japanese women who are very successful who "rent boyfriends" and go to bars that cater to their needs with handsome and sociable men. The wife is threatened not for the child but for herself!! Alex is male and acts it. She is afraid her husband will take after Alex and abandon her!! It is NOT about protecting the child it is about protecting herself!!

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Professor/Student relationship ... Posted: 4/12/2009 3:19:37 PM
Look, He is there to teach you. Not hold your hand. Since you said"I'll admit I had a bad night-- I was unfocused and tired, and could have been thinking more clearly-- BUT he treated me like some kind of idiot bimbo without a brain." Having that conversation when you were not yourself was foolish! Learn from this and make sure you are 100% before a discussion. Everybody has those moments when you are not at your best. You did over react. Life is hard. Weaklings get plowed under. Decide wheather you are going to be weak or you are going to be strong. A good book to help you: Thick Face, Black Heart: The Warrior Philosophy for Conquering the Challenges of Business and Life by Chin-Ning Chu

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Professor/Student relationship ... Posted: 4/12/2009 3:10:40 PM
I second that!! Never go in to such on your bad day!! I had an eye opener with the head of psych at Udub. She was so rabid about a mistake I made. The mistake: a complement on the ring she had!! She took umbrage because I thought it was an engagement ring . Then I started to see that she hated men!!

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

First date-then no contact from them Posted: 10/22/2008 4:03:18 AM
P.S> they are right. He mentioned dating around. There it is he had a nice time and may in time want to get with you again. Each "date" need not lead to anything but having a nice time that's all. Just have fun and not concern yourself with wheather you get a response or not.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

First date-then no contact from them Posted: 10/22/2008 3:58:21 AM
Take action! find out if it is yes or no. Too many people follow "rules" when thery are really guidelines. If he has work that takes up a lot of time or other activities or needs space he may not be compatable right now. But YOU take the action and act like a woman not a computer program!

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

Did anyone have any success with following The Rules? Posted: 10/22/2008 3:53:49 AM
more trash burn that one too

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Am I paranoid or do all guys move too fast with me? Posted: 10/22/2008 3:47:59 AM
Either you are bragging or you have great charisma and/or social skills that most of us do not have. Good for you. Perhaps you can inform what body language and speech she may be using that defeats her goals

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

Am I paranoid or do all guys move too fast with me? Posted: 10/22/2008 3:44:56 AM
That is why most of my lovers have been friends first. I,myself hate formal "dating". I see it as a facade for what the person really is. Sometimes there is chemistry with the oddest people and then they do not fit into your life but they want to be gf,bf when it was a chemistry moment. A friend can be playful,intimate,affectionate because the boundries have been set and each understands intellectually and emotionally what the relationship is and where it is not. It can take time to feel relaxed and comfortable with another person. Yes, there are "instant attractions" that last. In this time in history women have more time and money to pursue other things than economic survival. Many of my women friends seem caught between the "nice" guy who won't make a move" and the octupus. I have advised the old remedy, a 12" cast iron skillit!! The nice guy needs to know he is not offending you and the skillet is for his head to get his attention away from nervousness. The other needs to know your boundries. Remember where he/she came frome the mores may have been very different and the expectations parsecs apart.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Am I paranoid or do all guys move too fast with me? Posted: 10/22/2008 3:26:55 AM
There seems to be mis-communication. Because we are a hetrogenous society he may not know what is your expectation and mis read your body language. Many people have "opposite" body language and are giving off the wrong vibes! Just speaking you intentions does little if your body language is not consistant. Perhaps activity "dates" pool,bowling, etc to take the pressuer off and comunicate just having fun. "Hang out" is a very non-specific phrase. It an mean many things and lead to miss communication, Say exactly what you wnat to do : may i suggest not a coffee shop or bar. An area of activity will tell you a lot about the person and have fun in the process.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 134 (view)

my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do? Posted: 9/13/2008 12:33:27 AM
I advise stopping your activity. It is just making you crazy. You are starting to become obsessive and that takes the joy away from your relationship. Worse, he can track you too (if you know computers ) This is like looking a gift horse in the mouth. Enjoy being with him and forget this. You are in a good place if you stop making yourself upset.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

hot spots around denver Posted: 4/20/2008 4:22:48 PM
Hey. Westword does not say enough. Just ads ,but no current reviews. CitySearch et al is dated! Is there a paper or website that is current and gives indepth info? I have very little time to just bar hop, hoping to find one of my liking! Where has anyone gone in the last month and what kind of crowd ,music, dancing,atmosphere was it there?

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place. Posted: 4/11/2008 1:17:36 PM
No, they are not crazy! I got out of a relationship where there were issues. Her issues about sex that pnly she can work thru. There is something wrong. You could have mismatched sex drives, She may have issues about sex that are not apparent. But the bottom line is that this is not a healthy relationship! Time to move on; before you are in a sexless relationship. There are people who are very happy without sex. However,if you are not happy and just because she's hot is meaningless. She isn't hot for you! Leave now as friends not enemies. I have been there.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 219 (view)

Sleeping with some one on a first date Posted: 4/11/2008 11:32:58 AM
Why so many mixed messages? Why buy the cow when the milk is free? Because the milk is soo good! " I don't respect a guy who goes to bed with me on a first date?" What a negative attitude:perhaps the men pick up that they have been used.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 218 (view)

Sleeping with some one on a first date Posted: 4/11/2008 11:21:20 AM
I might suggest talking about sex and what you are really looking for. I have had great sex and great times with women who were not "That in " to me a a possible "boyfriend" but we had a great time as "booty-calls" and as friends. I admit they were not my physical ideal (although they were very attractive) Nor was I exactly what they were looking for. Because we had the gall to put our cards on the table we both knew what to expect. We are still friends so that goes to show with adult agreement and proper boundries things can work out well. Men are just as conflicted and confused as women and get the same bad advice!

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

MESSY ROOM - BROKEN DEAL? Posted: 4/11/2008 11:13:13 AM
I like your attitude of helping with the work! Very adult! That is why there are companies selling everything to unclutter an (usually too small apt)! Like many the apt I live in was constructed prior to the computer age and is far too small. When I was 20 and could put all my clothes in a duffel bag to now when I need a semi-trailer. There is no place that is built with big walking closets and huge closets in the bedroom . Not to mention the 42 inch tv the computer screens, VCR, dvd player, xbox etc. Thanks for being a help for us challenged persons

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 76 (view)

Do all women HATE younger women? Posted: 4/11/2008 10:46:06 AM
That is the conditioning of our society. We all suffer from this. Yet outside the us it is very different. Worse nature has played a trick on us sexually most women are in their peak after 30. While most men are in their teens and twenties. Yet with the demands of work most have little time to invest in social activities like previous generations. Our society is to blame as we are more puritanical that the Victorian age (upper classes) The middle class in something else entirely.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 75 (view)

Do all women HATE younger women? Posted: 4/11/2008 10:22:42 AM
I disagree about the "power" move. I and older and when I was younder many of the women that interested me were older. We could have great conversations and They were very good looking. As I got older I noticed that many women just were stuck. Some could not handle "upscale" clubs for instance Non adaptive. I go almost everywhere and seek companions that can do the same. Younger women, are not always comfortable because we in America live in a very ageist society. With lockstep values, I think this is the basis of the problem. I prefer women who are healthy and into healthy lifestyle with a bit of edge. Their age does not matter because each person's experiences are different.. There is not "power" play; just play and the fun of being with people that one enjoys. Yes "looks" are important to me and so many "younger" women look like they have one foot in the grave and are so unhealthy that I am appalled! I think Many women see others as competition so they try to make "rules" to force PC compliance. I used to work with a man who was 74. I had never seen so many women attracted to a man. Young,old in between they all liked him. Women would even follow him out of stores. Likeability is the key.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 175 (view)

He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it. Posted: 11/18/2007 5:44:48 PM
This is very common. I am platonic friends with many women who I had sex with. Why we stopped is that we agreed to stop when the other found a relationship that they felt warrented their full attention. Why not "go back" to being sexual? Because that part of the friendship had it's place in time. and no longer does.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 105 (view)

Mens Rights Posted: 11/18/2007 5:34:29 PM
Actually it is the "STATE" that is the culprit. It is really about money and power and the economics. Russia once one of the most populus countries is down to 130 million So the "state" has contests now to have more children, the reason is economics. Since we as yet do not live in a world where wealth isn't predominate: one needs customers and workers. The Great society of the sixties has become the lawyer's paradise of this century. Hidden behind are conflicts of interest such as the county receiving a percentage of "child support". The judge is ther to protect the stat's interest in leaglly enslaved people . The fact that a decision to have a child is unilateral at this time, means that the choice is solely hers. Fraud in this instance is rewarded. What would normally be a stiff jail sentence is encouraged. . However,most people are too busy to write their represenatives and vote.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

how much is too much sex partners? Posted: 3/10/2007 9:01:03 PM
I read once that the answer is 3. Actully it is not anyone's business but yours! if someone question how did you learn that ? jst say I read it in a book?

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

meeting just for agreed upon sex Posted: 3/10/2007 8:49:47 PM
Go back and res what he said. Gaining a lot of weight is a deal breaker worse to put a pic that is a lie. I am a homily man but i put myself out as being who I really am.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 564 (view)

Cheating- can you forgive? Posted: 2/28/2007 7:55:39 PM
You mentioned the real problem our own egos. We are conditioned by lack and fear. It is that fear that forces the reaction. Our society is the villian. We are who we are. they are who they are. I do not fear so I love without fear of loss.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 563 (view)

Cheating- can you forgive? Posted: 2/28/2007 7:48:55 PM
Yes you can. I have been cheated on. But, I do not believe in "owning" another person. Nor did I compare myself to anyone else. I saw it a her decision. She did what she wanted to at the time. However,she did not lie to me,and we had a bond of truth even that that at first hurt. I examined the fact that freedom and responsibility can co-exist. I saw people break up or divorce. I saw that the blame game was self destructive. That, a good friend was better that a jailer. A good friend that was there for me when bad times hit. She had other lovers. I weighed the fact that we got along. Communicated well,with no fear. I never asked that she stop. I knew that demands would destroy. She had to be who she was as a person. Demands do not work. Truth and openess do.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 160 (view)

Why do people get fat after marriage? Posted: 1/20/2007 7:27:08 PM
Way too true good reason for a lover for sex,a wife ?

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Not just another settling thread Posted: 1/20/2007 6:53:35 PM
no I disagree. The wold is changing and women do not need a man for a man to provide for them. Women who would have looked for a provider have a choice. Now they can choose a male as a lover or a husband and disgarde them when they want. Divorce. is just a natural progression

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 115 (view)

sex on the first date Posted: 12/25/2006 7:38:19 PM
If that is how you define yourself then you are doomed. There is no reason to expect a "relationship" everytime anyway. Life is too short to worry. Enjoy what comes your way and do not be down on yourself for having needs and being human.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 113 (view)

sex on the first date Posted: 12/25/2006 7:03:23 PM
I disagree. Sometime there is an instant sexual attraction with someone that in "daylight" you find you are no longer attracted to for many or whatever reason. Attraction, is not a constant. You may find that there is no sexual attraction later. Yet the opposite can occur great sexual attraction :no want to"be" with them otherwise.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex... Posted: 12/25/2006 6:10:53 PM
We from this thread we can see the problems that arise. The Mixed signals that both the society and the "dating" public use are so confusing! If she/he does not want sex has a low sex drive of has put all their energy into something else (work,sports etc) or has a physical problem then one can see the dilemna. Damed if you do damned if you don't. Then there are the frauds who sex one up like no tomorrow until that "commitment then "sorry not interested" talk. American work longer and more hours that any of the industrial countries and no wonder they are not as interested. In some societies, work and making money is the be all and many do not have any idea about sex. In our society. men are not now supposed to want just sex. And to disregard their sexual feelings then women complain??? No wonder!! Thanks PCism! The crows have come home to roost!!!

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

dont date him girl-being sued Posted: 11/4/2006 9:04:04 AM
Actually, he can sue for invasion of privacy too. The damage that site can do is real. What If he loses money as in professional services? The site does have a responsibility as does the site to make effort to identify the person who slanders another. There is not enough privacy guidlines. So she sleeps around it is her business, if he is a "bad dresser" that can have effects financial and emotional to the person "outed" Their privacy has been invaded and the right to live their life has been harmed.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 548 (view)

I'm Not Attracted To Men My Age.... Posted: 10/8/2006 7:45:48 PM
Gosh! you stole my line!!! I am not attracted to women my "age" for the same reasons!!!

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

How can you not know he's married? Posted: 10/8/2006 7:32:16 PM
question: what if he/she tells you the truth then what?

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date? Posted: 10/6/2006 9:59:46 PM
If you have read Starship Troopers, Heilien characterizes "dating as the American form of prostitution".

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date? Posted: 10/6/2006 9:27:45 PM
No Because one never knows what fate has in store. You might end up being his sister and missing out on a gtreat chance. 1st date;100th date does not matter. the only thing that does is finding communication and deciding if you want to date several or serially. If you are dating or whatever let him know up front but sex? That is too blunt for a first date unless you have known him for a while and have no chemistry. Then it is only fair to let him know where he stands and that you (if you want )will be his friend. But not his lover. And if you have a lover that is a "booty call only" he too needs to know the rules of the game. Some people think you are their property because you had sex. Others; can handle it. I speak from experience. You never know

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

I feel Stupid, I was scamed Posted: 10/6/2006 9:12:41 PM
Did it occur to you that you"gift" may have hurt his pride and his feelings of self went downhill? Some people pride themselves on being independent. It was a "gift"??? no You were "buying" him wheather you realize it or not and perhaps he saw himself in a light he did not like. Let someone ask for help. I too made these mistakes with similar results

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 96 (view)

What Do Women Want Posted: 9/23/2006 5:23:43 PM
True,except that "chemistry" can be a liar. The person who you have "chemistry" with at 18 may be the "dud" at 30. The real world demands a lot from us. American work the most hours of any G7 country. You may go a long time with out being in "sync" with each other,Unlike the Victorians we are agist and assume sexual relations where there may be none. That forces a "prison like existance" for many couples. But, it may take time for the "chemistry" to evolve. "instant" "chemistry" exists but rarely lasts. Enjoy it!!

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 95 (view)

What Do Women Want Posted: 9/23/2006 5:01:32 PM
Wrong thinking!!! I know that one thinks if i am ..... then she/he will love me as I want to be loved. Think again. You must be for you. The more you become a person who is comfortable with himself and is living his dreams then the women who find those qualities attractive will notice you. If you are timid and shy. seek a coach. I have seen men who women loved and none were handsome, tall, or rich. No, it wasn't me but the X factor exists. Perhaps you will never be the man women love. But you can be the best you there ever was.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

being cheated on??? Posted: 9/23/2006 4:51:10 PM
It reads that you are not being realistic. Cheated? In this north american society cheated means many thing to different people. First you joined the army! 2nd you are taking it far too hard on everyone. Many people are not able to articulate what they want from the other. Many men and women feel cheated by lack of affection or sex,or time spent,or promises unfulfilled. Some, especially women are afraid that if they are sexual that they will be called a "slut" so they have bed buddies for the sex and a boyfriend for the rest. We hear only your side of the story so that means that at least 50% of the story is not being heard. I suggest having fun and gaining experience with women not just girls your age. All people have a story. Learning. from everyone to get to who you really are and what you want and the price you are willing to pay.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Interracial Dating-Just Curious Posted: 9/16/2006 6:50:38 PM
Well,as a "child" of interracial parents I did find your observations silly. A wise person dictates his own life. He does not have to choose a "culture". There is no such thing as a "black", "white" or any other culture in the US. Culture around the world is becoming very different but the real denominator is wealth and class. That has always been those that have and those that don't. Wealth brings choices. Fame and wealth bring advantages of entre to a society that is "unseen". I see there is much observation of the human condition that has been ignored by your comments. It you want a child to feel an outsider treat him as one and teach your children to do the same. Race is an issure to you. I suggesst talking to the man in the mirrior and get yourself straight for it isn't "them" who has problems it is you!

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 96 (view)

So what makes a slut? Posted: 9/14/2006 8:28:36 PM
I disagree. She is able to have a choice in whom SHE chooses as her lovers. The number does not count; it is her choice. Many are envious of those with the social and sexual skills to have choice not chance.

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 135 (view)

38-year old man with a 17-year old girl - what is that? Posted: 9/4/2006 11:27:09 AM
There is too much we don't know. North Americans are very bigoted about age unless he is a big tv, movie star. We don't know all that went on and the emotional needs that they may have. We don't know what relationship he had with his wife. WE don't know enough facts!!

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Is he in it for the sex? Posted: 9/4/2006 11:10:08 AM
Here we are in valueland. She wants the symbols,he just wants to have fun. She wants to be official "girlfriend" and he want to keep things the way they are. She isn't being "used"or is he. This is negotiation. They need to sit down and talk it out. Another reason to have a "bed buddy"\"booty call" when what is expected is sex not "dating".

Joined: 6/5/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

Sex with married men Posted: 9/2/2006 8:15:28 PM
What are you so afrid of? Having the fact that you can't "own" someone? That they may not agree with you and have a mind of their own. Women are not property.. Get it folks! People are not property!!!